A (3:34)

No, please.

B (3:36)

I just lose my mind up there. I'm like, why are you not, like, on my side? You're a teacher. You know what? You know what this feels like?

A (3:45)

Yes. Yeah. But I've seen that. I will tell you, when I do comedy shows, I've had a few. They're not heckling, but talkative to their almost talking to me on stage and have been teachers.

B (3:57)

Yeah. They just. It's funny because I do see, you know, so I watch like Matt R. Clips or stuff like that.

A (4:03)

Yes.

B (4:04)

And a lot of times when you see, like, these crowd work things, they go, what do you do? Oh, I'm a teacher. And I go, of course you are. You are talking and interrupting the whole dang show. And of course you're a teacher.

A (4:16)

You know, but in their defense, I will say this for teachers, you guys are. For that short period of time, you are childfree. You are out. You got out. So I get it. You're drinking. They're always drinking, by the way. They're always drinking. So they're a little. Little rowdy. So I. I give them grace. I do. Yeah, but they're good. They're good, man.

B (4:33)

I will say this too. When you come to, like, the board teachers comedy tours, which hopefully you do, boardteachers.com for upcoming tours. We got a lot of great dates coming through Canada coming up very shortly. When people come and they talk a little bit, I don't say anything in a comedy club. I probably would have said something, but a long time ago. A window. Yeah, the window is pretty big window. I'm hoping you get the idea because I will look at you and. And I will give you the teacher look.

A (5:03)

Yes, the teacher nod.

B (5:05)

Yeah. But also, there's other teachers around them, and I'm like, there's no way they're gonna stand for this. And you'll see other teachers go, you know, please be quiet. So I'm hoping that the situation resolves itself. I will give you time, but there's. There's a point, you know, I mean, one of the. One of the earliest times I remember I was doing a show with Jody in Cleveland, improv, and there was a drunk art teacher, and, man, she got kicked out.

A (5:31)

Why does the art teacher drink a little bit more than most other teachers?

B (5:35)

I don't know.

A (5:36)

That's a real thing, by the way.

B (5:38)

Yeah.

A (5:38)

I don't know why the art teachers, like, I'm going to get loose.

B (5:41)

Yeah. It's always the art teacher.

A (5:43)

Think about it. They come out teacher.

B (5:45)

But the. I will say the music teachers are usually very well mannered, but the structure

A (5:51)

of learning notes and yeah, those kindergarten

B (5:53)

teachers, though, y' all get wild. I get it, though, because kids kindergarten you.

A (5:58)

How did you even get glitter in this theater?

B (6:02)

Your hands are full all day. You have finally some freedom.

A (6:05)

Yeah.

B (6:05)

And you take full advantage of it. I get it. But I just want you to be more acknowledging of, like, another person's talking up there. If it's boring, I get it kind of. But I'm trying not to be boring. But from my perspective, I'm like, oh, man, they don't want to listen. They don't want to, you know, they don't want to see this comedy or this show. It's just it. It hurts me. It's like, you know, if you put together the perfect lesson plan for your kids and you're excited about it and you get in there and then they. They're all on their phones talking to each other. You're like, guys, come on.

A (6:39)

Do you. Do you notice, though, when you do a show for a teacher, it's not more so talking sometimes than them doing commentary. When you touch on a subject on

B (6:48)

a. Oh, it is straight up. Baptist church in the South. It is. Is straight up. I hear you. You know, Amen, brother. Amen.

A (6:57)

You know, this guy gets it.

B (6:59)

There's been a lot of those. Yeah, I hear that quite a bit. Especially like when Casey gets out there. I can hear him because he's more animated than me. Yes. I don't know why, but there's like a switch that we flip with Casey. He's so animated that people talk back to him.

A (7:15)

Yes.

B (7:15)

I get out there and I start in my. And I'm more deep like storytelling, but also like painting a picture. And people just get quiet and like, listen. Yes, the laughs are great, don't get me wrong. But it's also, like, they don't yell at me. And it could be the fact that when somebody does, I cry.

A (7:37)

Yes, that.

B (7:38)

That could be.

A (7:38)

That's a deterrent.

B (7:42)

Oh, man. I did a joke on stage. But I'm just gonna say it here because this is one of my. One of the new ones I'm working on.

A (7:48)

Okay.

B (7:49)

But I say, you know, I'm a sensitive guy. It's very tough because I cry and. But I'm six' six. You know, I'm a big man. And it's. When you see a six. Six man crying, it's like seeing a pit bull on the highway. You're like, I should do something. But I think I'll let somebody else handle that one. You're like, I feel so bad.

A (8:12)

I hope he doesn't get hit.

B (8:13)

But that's not my thing.

A (8:15)

I'm not getting involved. Yeah.

B (8:17)

And the worst part is I cry at not, like, sad things as much. I also cry at, like, beautiful things.

A (8:23)

I do that. I do that a lot.

B (8:24)

Two people have, like, a really touching moment. Touching moment, and I'll cry, and then they turn around and they see this giant man crying, and they think, hitman having second thoughts. They're like, he wanted to kill us. He chose the life of redemption.

A (8:40)

Yeah. Don't even thank him. Just walk away.

B (8:42)

Yeah.

A (8:42)

Yeah.

B (8:43)

So. But that's. That's me. So.

A (8:45)

You know, one of the biggest times I cry with my. With my family. Movies.

B (8:49)

Movies. Yeah, bro.

A (8:50)

I just saw the live action action. Lilo and Stitch.

B (8:53)

Yep.

A (8:54)

Okay. And when Stitch tells the lady, the. Whoever was in charge of the alien, this is my family.

B (9:00)

Yeah. Yeah.

A (9:01)

They're little and they're broken, but they're my. I'm like, oh, my God, they're broken. They're so broken. Dude.

B (9:08)

I am.

A (9:09)

I'm just. We.

B (9:10)

I told you. You remember you told me about Wild Robot? That Wild Robot is, like, the most sad. And my kids saw it, and they were like, let's watch it. And I was like, okay. And I got maybe 45 minutes in row, and I started to see where I was going.

A (9:25)

Yes.

B (9:25)

And I was like, you guys finish this. I'll be in the other room where you go. I'm all right.

A (9:30)

And great movie, boy.

B (9:32)

I didn't finish it because I had to stop in the middle. As soon as I saw kind of where I was like, oh, it's a gut punch. This is. I was like, this is really going to break me, and it's not going to be good. So. Yeah. Yeah.

A (9:45)

After saying Lilo and stitch. If you even say the word family, I'm like, oh my God. Oh my.

B (9:52)

All right, teachers, I want to talk about this one. I don't really have a joke for, but it's kind of bothering me that it's spreading. I didn't realize. So we talked about, we've seen it grow in real time, these teacher apprenticeship programs. Like, it was wild, but I remember distinctly us sitting here going, tennessee has a new teacher apprenticeship program. And then we were like, missouri has a new teacher apprenticeship program. Out every state except Montana now has an apprentice teacher apprenticeship program. North Dakota just started theirs. They are, according to this article, spreading like wildfire because there are a lot of districts, training colleges, they're trying to get these aspiring teachers early. So they're trying to get them early.

A (10:43)

That makes a lot of sense though, because.

B (10:45)

Yeah, it does. I think it's great. But also I see a dark side to this too.

A (10:50)

Like what?

B (10:52)

So I'm very much against. And I've, I've always hated the fact that we have to choose our degree for our, our four year education. Like on day one, at age 18, they're like, okay, what do you want to be for the rest of your life? You're about to spend $100,000 plus on this facts the rest of your life. Tell us now what you want to be.

A (11:15)

Yeah, tell us. And at 18, you're like, and you.

B (11:17)

And at 18, you have no idea. You've never worked any of these jobs. You have no experience whatsoever, so you don't know what to expect. And you, you suddenly, we see it often, more often than not, are saddled with a massive amount of debt and a degree that it turns out three years into it, you're like, I don't want this. Once you started to get the specialization courses, you're like, this isn't for me. And then you get into the career and you're like, I'm done. There's so many paperweight degrees out there.

A (11:43)

True.

B (11:44)

That aren't good because you then go off and do something else. I worry about these apprenticeship programs because I feel like when we start reaching out and training the teachers when they're in high school, we are pigeonholing them into a career that they might not really enjoy. Some of them, I think it could be their passion for sure. But I think when you keep going earlier and earlier and earlier and trying to get them into these apprenticeship programs in high school, then I think sometimes they go, well, I just spent the last two years doing that. I've gotta Become a teacher. I have to become a teacher. They've wasted time in their mind.

A (12:28)

I'm gonna actually disagree with that.

B (12:29)

Okay, good.

A (12:30)

I think it may be better for you to keep pushing it back until high school to actually make that decision. Here's why. I think it would be better for you to go through that two years of doing that teacher apprenticeship and then saying, you know what? This is not for me. Let me go to college and do something else.

B (12:44)

Yeah, but the problem is, is that these apprenticeship programs will pay for your college upon completion. You're obligated to go. You, you do the teacher degree if

A (12:54)

you do the two years.

B (12:55)

Oh, yeah. So that's why I feel like they're put, they're holding this over your head and going, okay, we're about to cover $30,000 in tuition. And you're like, great. And they go, unless you don't want this. And you go.

A (13:11)

And people are thinking practically like, look, I need a career. I need to make money, so let me do this.

B (13:14)

And so people, people think, I won't have a. I won't have anything, any debt, student debt, you know, and it's wild.

A (13:22)

Which is amazing, by the way.

B (13:24)

It is amazing, but also like, I remember distinctly when I had a pediatrician. My pediatrician was great. It was over in Melbourne, Florida. Amazing guy. He went to uf, okay. And I remember one day he was just talking to us, he was so personable, talking, talking, talking. He would say things about life and he would go, he goes, man, I hope you go to uf, he said, because then you could, you know, play basketball there. He would do my sports physicals. I'd see him every, every year. He go, I hope you go to UF because you can do basketball there and maybe you'll get a scholarship. He goes, he goes, because scholarships pay off. He goes, I'm a doctor now. I got $190,000 in debt. But I go, oh man, $190,000 in debt. But he's also making a fortune.

A (14:07)

Yes, they do make good money.

B (14:09)

Yeah. Sometimes we think, I can't go into all that debt for medical school. I can't go into all that debt for business school. I can't go into all that debt for lawyer school, for legal. But sometimes that debt can be paid off very rapidly, or at least comfortably.

A (14:30)

Yes, I know, you're right. Because my brother in law just got out of medical school and got offers. And I was like, hey man, what are your offers like? Cause I don't know, I'm not a doctor. Right. So he's like, yeah, man, I got one for 350, one for 450, one for four. I'm like, wait a minute, $350,000.

B (14:46)

And that's entry.

A (14:47)

That's entry. Yeah, exactly. And they have signing bonuses.

B (14:50)

Yeah.

A (14:51)

So now it's like going to the NFL. Like, if I go to this team, they give me this much, this much equity. They'll pay for a house for me, too, get a housing allowance. I'm like, my God.

B (15:00)

I mean, at Winter Haven Hospital, they actually had to put out one time a thing about how much money they were paying their doctors and their head lead neurosurgeon was $2 million that year.

A (15:11)

Oh, my God.

B (15:12)

$2 million that year. And you sit there and you go, $190,000 in debt.

A (15:18)

Okay, I'll take it.

B (15:20)

Yeah. You're making more than. Sometimes teachers graduate and they're not even, you know. So you sit there and go, well, I can save $30,000 right now. And to a child, that's great. To a parent, that's also great. But down the line you might go, I don't know, maybe that's not for me. Maybe I should have spent that time going to med school or, you know, exploring other options. I just think it's. I just hate that we don't. I don't like boxing in children. I like making it more available. Try this out. Give us two years of working on it. Yeah. And you know what? If you don't like it, we'll still pay. But we're also, you know, hoping for some great career, and you really have a lot of faith in it. Then just put your money where your mouth is and say, we're still going to pay for your degree, even if you don't, because we're confident that you're going to love this teaching so much, you know, But I just hate holding that over their head.

A (16:14)

But I will say there are, and I say it more and more, actually, speaking of my children, more and more young people know what they want to do.

B (16:21)

They do.

A (16:22)

I think so.

B (16:23)

Their social media.

A (16:23)

Yes.

B (16:24)

Because they get to see it now.

A (16:25)

They see it and you. Yeah. And they know exactly what they want to do.

B (16:28)

They want to be an influencer.

A (16:31)

We. We all do.

B (16:31)

Yeah, we all do. Yeah. All right, next one. This one's an interesting one. There is a desert Financial over in Arizona is going to give out $45,000 spread out to 30 teachers. That's fantastic. They're going to create basically giving these kids, giving these teachers money for the classroom, they've allocated 45,000. All you have to do is go to the Desert Financial website and basically tell them why you need the money for your classroom. And I think that's great.

A (17:01)

And they'll give it to the teacher to use for the classroom. But I did. But I did learn something very interesting. You taught me this. When you buy something for the classroom.

B (17:09)

Yeah.

A (17:10)

It becomes the property of the school. School, yes.

B (17:12)

Yes. Agreed.

A (17:13)

You cannot take it with you.

B (17:15)

Yeah. Now, one thing I don't like, though, and I'm going to say this just to Desert Financial, that maybe you think about this later differently is it says priority will be given to teachers at Title 1 schools. I loved Title 1 schools. I worked in Title 1 schools. A lot of. And I don't know what it is currently, I'd be interested to know how it's changed. But a lot of Title I schools have a lot of extra funds because they're Title 1 schools. We had a lot of money coming in called Title 1 money, and it was spent on extra Title 1 things, and we could actually request things to be bought for our classroom. That went in line with helping us as a Title 1 school become a non title school.

A (17:58)

Sounds good.

B (17:58)

I. I sometimes thought about that, though, because my mom didn't. You know, I. I had other friends of mine that didn't teach at Title 1 schools, and they struggled with getting stuff for their classroom that I didn't struggle as much getting. The school itself was in disrepair. But the actual process of getting the stuff, Title 1 funds would cover some of that. The other schools, they don't cover that. And the private schools obviously have all the money. So there's kind of like this middle ground of schools.

A (18:28)

They get lost in the shuffle.

B (18:30)

Yeah, they get lost in the shuffle. Okay. And they don't get as much. And there's teachers there that are like, hey, you know, I'd like some stuff, too. And the district goes, well, you're not title one, so we don't have the money for it. Or you're not a private school, so we don't have the money.

A (18:41)

So I see people being like, you're

B (18:42)

like, oh, I got to cover it myself. So, you know, I. I think obviously Title one teachers definitely need, you know, the stuff, but maybe if you're a Title 1 teacher and, you know, you have access to extra things, maybe suggest to your friend to apply and then you not apply, you know, maybe say, hey, you know, I know you need help over at that school, you don't have no Title 1 money. And I get that Title 1 money. Funds have changed over the years.

A (19:06)

I mean, it may not be as much as that.

B (19:08)

A lot of money. It may not be as much. So maybe I'm speaking out of turn, but just from what I remember.

A (19:12)

Well, I'm glad you brought it to light because a lot of people didn't realize what you just said. That happens to those teachers.

B (19:16)

Yeah.

A (19:17)

In that little gray area. I would think, oh, no, they got money. They're fine.

B (19:20)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you think, you know, but a lot of times these schools, you know, they need money. Next one, and the very last one is this. Student teachers in California may be seeing some reprieve. There's a new bill that is going to be passed or looking to be passed that would set aside money for school districts to pay teacher would be teachers, people that are going to try teach. Now, here's the thing. I was a student teacher. My student teaching was teaching. I was nine to five. Student teacher.

A (19:51)

That's what you did.

B (19:51)

I went in there and after one week, my. My teacher, my supervising teacher went in the back room and was on ebay. I was teaching.

A (19:59)

He was. He really was selling things from the classroom.

B (20:03)

No, he was selling a lot. He bought and sold boats. It was weird. Yeah. What, he'd like, buy a boat, repair it, sell it.

A (20:10)

Okay.

B (20:10)

Yeah. It's how he made extra money. I don't know.

A (20:13)

I don't know.

B (20:14)

Maybe something there. But. But in the meantime, here, Siebold just barely above water, just drowning in the other room.

A (20:22)

There you go.

B (20:23)

I'm busting my butt doing all the grades, doing all the parent teacher conferences, doing all the planning, doing all that stuff. No pay, Really. A lot of careers have internships like that. But this was for the whole, like, year.

A (20:35)

Yeah.

B (20:35)

And so California, they were like, look, a lot of kids in college cannot afford this right now. There are 28,000 student teachers in California that work for free, essentially. And they said that they're a lot free teachers. Yep. They said that a lot of them without pay, they can be in dire hardship sometimes, you know, because that's the thing is you're pursuing this profession. Yeah. But you're starting off on such a negative connotation of it. You're struggling even more than you have to. I mean, it's one thing to be a student teacher. It's one thing to be a student teacher and then also have to work, you know, two other jobs because you're not sure where your next paycheck's coming from. You don't have any money. You're working for free during the day and at night just trying to barely get by. Yeah, I was gonna. So they want to work on paying these student teachers. And I agree.

A (21:22)

I agree, too, but I know the. Just because I know the process of how this works. When you're allocating funds, where does the money come from?

B (21:29)

Yeah, I mean, that's the tough part. Yeah, it's California. They got. They got quite a bit of taxes over there. Like, quite a bit of funds up.

A (21:36)

The tax on vegan food.

B (21:37)

Yes. Really? Just a 10 cent avocado tax suddenly

A (21:41)

will cover 50,000 avocados and everything in California.

B (21:45)

Literally everything.

A (21:46)

Yeah, everything I like. Captain Crunch has avocado in it over there.

B (21:50)

It does a little bit.

A (21:52)

Not bad. Exactly. James, I do have something for us. First off, I want to update you guys on a story that we talked about earlier in the year. Now, in Florida, Governor DeSantis had passed a bill that would make it illegal for any minor to have social media. This would include Instagram, Facebook, all the usual suspects.

B (22:11)

TikTok, Drake so furious.

A (22:15)

What? First Kendrick, now this.

B (22:21)

How will I DM Anyways?

A (22:24)

And it also was rumored to include things like Xbox live accounts and PlayStation Network.

B (22:30)

Well, I mean, because that's a social media.

A (22:31)

That is a social media.

B (22:32)

We play on the Meta quest. We have the Oculus in our house, a bunch of them. And my kids love them. I love them too. But, man, oh, man, I go into Horizons. Have you ever been into Horizons?

A (22:45)

No.

B (22:45)

Horizons is meta's essentially metaverse. And dude, you're in there and you're just walking around and there's movie theaters, there's. You can go watch a movie. You can go. You can go watch sporting events. You can go into Sabrina Carpenter's concert, watch her live sitting in the front row. You can watch the NBA finals from it. That's why you watch it with other people. Like, it's. It's such a social community. And you and your friend can meet up and just go, hey, man, you want to go fishing? And you just go into the fishing horizons channel. Okay. And suddenly you're on a dock and your buddy's sitting next to you, and you can look right at them and fish and be like, hey, man, so what you been up to? You know, everything.

A (23:21)

Been good and kind of just have, like, not in person social interaction.

B (23:26)

Dude, there's this comedy club and there's comedians we know that perform at those comedy clubs very regularly, and they're paid spots.

A (23:32)

I did not know you can Perform

B (23:33)

on Oculus at the comedy club and they have showtime everything. And you log on and you perform

A (23:37)

and that would count as social media.

B (23:39)

Yep. That's what I think is that's. I do agree that that's social media because you add, you have a friends list, you talking to people interact. And plus, like you don't know who they are. My, My son, he actually met somebody. Turtles was his name. And I could hear him talking to him because they were playing his game. Onward. And all of a sudden I get, I get. I'm parent, Good parent. I get notifications of any sort of activity on the meta quest.

A (24:03)

Yeah.

B (24:03)

While my kids are on. Of people sending friend requests, messages, chat invites, and Turtles sent like a chat invite. And I walked in and I was like, who's turtles? And he goes, he goes, oh, it's just my buddy. And I could hear turtles and he's a young kid. And just like my son got it. And I was like, okay, you guys didn't talk. And I said, but just keep the volume up so I can hear what you guys are talking about. And I was like, turtles doesn't cuss. Right. He's like, turtles doesn't cuss. I was like, good, perfect. So I, you know, try to be dad.

A (24:27)

Yeah.

B (24:28)

And he knows the rules. There's rules. Yeah, man. Then I hear them talking. And now every now this stupid Turtles is sending chat invites at like 12:30 in the morning. And I'm like, turtles, I have to message and be like, turtles, my son is not on at this time. You should be asleep.

A (24:46)

Yeah. You should be in bed, buddy. Yeah.

B (24:48)

But I don't know what time zone Turtles is in. You know, he could be over east coast or something, but. Or west coast. Sorry. And. But yeah, that's fully like, that could have been. I'm a dad. I step in. But if I didn't have those child protections on my phone.

A (25:01)

Yes.

B (25:03)

I don't know who to start.

A (25:03)

You don't know? Not at all.

B (25:05)

I get on there and I, I will just walk through and I'll hear kids. Yes. And I could walk up to any one of them and be like, hey, how's it going?

A (25:12)

Yeah.

B (25:12)

And they'd be like, oh, no.

A (25:13)

Hey, how you doing? Yeah.

B (25:14)

You wouldn't even know a 40 year old man is just walking up to your child in this virtual world.

A (25:19)

Yes. And that is one of the things that had prompted them to pass this bill.

B (25:22)

Yeah.

A (25:22)

They were just thinking there's a lot of things out there online that are inappropriate for younger children.

B (25:27)

So Cut and dry. That's what we're doing. We're passing it, right?

A (25:29)

No. Okay, here's what has happened now. You can imagine how nervous a lot of gaming and computer like companies got. Like, ooh, well this meta. Yeah. They're like, hey man, this could really damper our bottom line. So what they did, they got together with a conglomerate and what they're doing is suing, saying this bill is unconstitutional. Now a judge just made a ruling that while they're going back and forth that while the bill's in contention, it's illegal to enforce it. So for now, kids under the age of the, you know, 18 minors can still have social media in Florida. So for now, Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, you are safe. But no.

B (26:08)

So when I get that invite at 1am I can still cuss out turtles.

A (26:12)

Yes you can.

B (26:14)

Great.

A (26:15)

Yes you can. Because I thought about this, Devin. There's a lot of kids under 18 that are actually, they have a career already and they make money on social media. Oh yeah. So this could affect a lot of kids, actual employment.

B (26:29)

Yep.

A (26:29)

Because there's a lot of tick tockers that are very young, they do dances, do all kinds of things like that. And if they were to make that, if that was to go through, that could really like change what that kid has to do now.

B (26:40)

And families. Yeah, you know, there's families out there that have young kids that make them part of it. The, the such and such family.

A (26:47)

You know, imagine the kid. I know, your kids must know them. The kid that made millions opening up toys. Ryan, Ryan, Ryan. Yeah, imagine that, like shut it down.

B (26:56)

Oh no, he's, he's like 42 now. He's just in there trying to open up pill bottles. He's like, oh, gotta hold on. You gotta push down first.

A (27:07)

Push down.

B (27:08)

Twist.

A (27:09)

So I'll keep you guys updated on more to come because I'm thinking the more time goes by and the more money gets dumped in by lobbyists, this is going to be shot down eventually. I don't think it's going to go through.

B (27:18)

I don't know. Yeah, it seems like that we always have good ideas and then everybody gets their money. Hands in it.

A (27:23)

Gooding good intentions. Yeah, but yeah, then, then.

B (27:26)

And it stinks because there's usually no middle ground. That's that, that's what I've never understood is a lot of these bills are like all or none. And I'm like, what can we find

A (27:34)

like some kind of common ground? Yeah, okay, gotcha. Only one tick tock a day. Yeah, there you go. Only one.

B (27:41)

Only one tick.

A (27:42)

Only one. Don't talk. Oh, man. So I know on here, I usually tell you guys funny things that teachers say to parents or parents say to teachers, but I want to change it up a little bit. Devin.

B (27:56)

Okay.

A (27:56)

I wanted to read some funny things that kids have said to teachers about their parents.

B (28:02)

Oh, okay. That's a good twist.

A (28:04)

Here's what I've learned, man. The younger a kid is, the more open and honest they are. Yes, Kids are honest, man. They don't know to lie. Like, when they're in kindergarten, you ask them a question, they'll tell you the truth. If you ever want to know what a person thinks, ask a kindergartener. They will tell you their truth, man. So here's some of the things that kids will share about their parents, like their eating and drinking habits. This little kid says, my mom's favorite place to go is Costco. Cause she loves hot dogs. Why does your teacher need that?

B (28:36)

They're good. They are. We had something in our house like that where, like, I think Gavin came home with the. I love my mom because. And it was like, she sleeps all day or something like that. And we're like, what, you're gonna sleep

A (28:50)

all day while I'm. I use the fireplace? Yeah, yeah, yeah, she does.

B (28:54)

There was just, like, weird things. I was like, come on.

A (28:57)

Those weird things. This kid. This is great, because I know a lot of parents went through this. This kid Carmen said the best part of COVID is that my parents are actually cooking

B (29:11)

doordash ratted you out.

A (29:12)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. My parents actually feed me a wholesome dinner.

B (29:16)

Right.

A (29:18)

I was calling people that. McDonald's my uncle. Okay. Oh, yeah, Bear. This is what this kid's name is. Said my mommy has a special drink every night, but it's just for adults. Cause I asked.

B (29:33)

Well, your name is Bear.

A (29:35)

Bear, yes.

B (29:36)

Oh, yeah.

A (29:37)

Your mom makes me bad decisions all the time, Even when she named you all the time.

B (29:41)

I, I, I. Did you have those parents that, like, friends of yours that their parents are, like, super loose, the cool parents? Yeah.

A (29:50)

Yes, I did.

B (29:51)

I did. I.

A (29:52)

There was a.

B (29:52)

There was a friend of mine that we were, like, both 17, 16, something like that. And I went over her house, and literally the mom's like, do you guys want some drinks? And, like, she started drinking. Yep. And they're, like, passing out beers, and we're like, 16, 17. I was like, no. Nope, I'm good to you.

A (30:08)

That's not normal behavior.

B (30:10)

But they're literally smoking cigarettes with each Other. And I'm like, what is going on here?

A (30:14)

Yeah. Oh, my good Lord. No.

B (30:16)

No.

A (30:17)

That's not how we're raising my kids.

B (30:18)

Yeah. So that sounds like one of those.

A (30:20)

It does sound like that. This is fun.

B (30:24)

At least you. At least you. You know, she set the boundary. She did.

A (30:27)

Yeah, she did. My mom says I can't have it till I'm 15. There you go. Here's one. This comes from a girl named Heather. She says, we were doing. The teacher says they were doing a gummy bear osmosis lab where they put the gummy bear in pure water, and they'll see it expand. And if you put it in salt water, it will shrivel. And one little girl said, oh, my mom likes to do this with vodka.

B (30:51)

Gummy bears in the vodka. That's funny.

A (30:54)

Oh, boy. The fact she knows it's vodka.

B (30:57)

Right. There's been discussions that's.

A (31:00)

Oh, my gosh.

B (31:01)

I didn't know it did that, though.

A (31:02)

Oh. This is where you teach your kids to do good. They'll do good, but if you teach them to do bad, they're going to do bad. This is. Let me tell you about my mom. Yesterday, Mommy hit the neighbor's car with her car. It was destroyed, but. Shh. She said not to tell anyone.

B (31:18)

Oh, no. It's worse when the teacher's the neighbor, and they're like, what? What?

A (31:26)

I like how she's like, but my mom said not to tell anyone. That's what I'm telling you.

B (31:30)

Never tell a child. Don't say anything, because that's what they will. Like, literally.

A (31:35)

Yeah.

B (31:35)

Michael's. Get in the car. And I'll be like, so, how was your day? And Liam will start to talk, and he'll be like, so we did. And Gavin, like, they said we were talking, not supposed to say anything. And they're like, no, we can say something. And I hear him arguing behind me back and forth. Say it.

A (31:51)

Just say it. Now, here's how you can figure out that young kids don't know how age works, because all they know are small numbers. All their friends are 6 and 7. This is what a little kid, Don, said about her mom. My mom is 39 years old, and

B (32:05)

she's still alive by the grace of God. It's a miracle. Yes.

A (32:11)

Yeah.

B (32:13)

She didn't go to the Metallica concert.

A (32:14)

No, she did not. She did not. Okay, here's one last one for you. This is so true. I relate to this one young girl named Chris said, my dad is bigger than my mom, but my mom's still the boss. Yes.

B (32:29)

Relate, relate.

A (32:31)

I don't run anything.

B (32:33)

James can fully relate.

A (32:34)

I sure can.

B (32:35)

Literally, I've done comedy shows with James and I'm like, hey, man, who do I pay? He's like, my wife. Yep. Just pay her directly.

A (32:43)

That is a true statement.

B (32:43)

You go to the Venmo. It's under her name. My phone number, for some reason, but also her name.

A (32:49)

That is also true. And I'm like, james, it's just a picture of me holding up a sound. It says, help.

B (32:55)

Yeah, but it's a good relationship. Don't get me wrong.

A (32:59)

I know it's a good one because that's what she tells me.

B (33:01)

James has. James has handed everything off to her. And it's like, you do it. You got this.

A (33:08)

Oh, this is one last one. This is just cute. Okay. Too much information. A little kid named Katie says, my mom and my dad have date night on Fridays. I know that because I'm not allowed out of my room when they're having it. Oh, yes.

B (33:24)

And apparently they only go on two and a half minute dates.

A (33:26)

That's it. Two and a half minute. Who has the time?

B (33:30)

Nobody went three or four rounds.

A (33:34)

Oh, we cuddled. There you go.

B (33:37)

Dude, that's. Kids will say it.

A (33:39)

Kids are great. I love kids, too.

B (33:41)

And I've been in kindergarten classrooms even for just, like, minute recently, where I did teach in the Great teaching. And I was reading my book.

A (33:49)

Yeah.

B (33:50)

And literally that I was like, kids, do you guys have any jokes? And there's a distinct difference. Third grade and up will tell you jokes.

A (33:56)

Yes.

B (33:57)

Second grade have some jokes.

A (33:59)

Yeah.

B (33:59)

First grade, they're confused. Kindergarten has no jokes.

A (34:04)

None.

B (34:05)

But they will tell you something that they think is funny.

A (34:08)

Yes.

B (34:08)

And that's the joke. So when I ask a kindergarten class to tell me a joke, I will just get stories about the parents. And then, you know, the. My dad hit a car and my mom's in jail.

A (34:20)

Oh, my God.

B (34:21)

Like that. So funny. Like the funny things. And you're like, you're just spilling tea. That's all it is. You're.

A (34:27)

You're. You're going to be called as a witness.

B (34:29)

Right?

A (34:29)

One day.

B (34:30)

Exactly what it is. James. How can people find you online, my friend?

A (34:33)

As always, y' all guys can follow me for me. I can't even talk. As always, you guys can follow me on Instagram, James yoncomedianyon. And the same account on Facebook.

B (34:43)

All right. And also, I have some shows coming up. I'll be in London, Ontario. Kitchener, Ontario. Hamilton, Ontario. And Winnipeg. Mb. What's MB in Canada?

A (34:55)

I'm going to Canada tomorrow and I don't even know that MB.

B (34:58)

Anyways, I'll be in MB, which is in Canada, and that's going to be November 13th, 14th, 15th and 16th with the board Teachers Comedy Tour. So check us out. I, I'm racking my brain. I'm like thinking of all the different provinces up there and there's someone yelling out, yeah, anyways, I'll be at Winnipeg, which there's only really one good Winnipeg. Yeah, one that's NMB. So anyways, hopefully find tickets for those boardteachers comedy tour.com and don't forget, let yourteacherslaaf.com as well, teacher sorry, teachersneedlaughter.com for any speaking engagements. So James, we'll be back next week. Don't forget to check us out on Patreon for the bonus episodes and we'll see you back here crying in my car.