C (9:00)
Okay. I will start back with my divorce, which was now six years ago at the time, and it had been four years. And my divorce was a good thing. It was a brand new beginning. It was a time for me to get to know who I was again. So I spent the next four years like I moved to LA and exploring who I was. I'm from the Detroit area and I'm now in Portage, Michigan. And it was great. I had the time of my life. I've always been okay being alone. And then when I moved here to Portage, I finally, I realized that I was. I felt settled. This is where I want to be. All of everything that had happened over the last four years just hit me. It hit me hard, the divorce, just moving around so much, not having roots, and I just needed to decompress. And I went into a period of isolation. And this was spring of 2023, spring and summer. So I just. I don't know, I just wasn't going out. I was staying in a lot. And then fall rolled around and I felt like I was coming out of it. And I thought dating is the missing piece. Maybe I wasn't anxious to date. I wasn't desperate or lonely for a relationship. I just thought maybe I should just get out there and see what's out there. So I created a profile on Tinder and two of my Co workers met their significant others on Tinder. So I thought, all right, maybe this is a good option. So I got my profile and swiped on different men and nothing ever came of anything. Just chatting. And then I saw this profile that was really intriguing to me. It just. I don't know, I swear he saw my profile, the scammer, and pinpointed me and just created this profile that was very similar to mine. I'm a spiritual person. I'm into self development. And my profile reflected that and his did too. So I was piqued my interest. So I swiped. And when I saw those words, it's a match, I felt elated. I swear he had me at it's a match. That's what I tell people. So I reached out to him immediately and just told him. I said, hey, I really like your profile. How are you doing? And he reached out back and then we just started chatting. Like it was like every day we were chatting and it was just this very simple, easy conversation. Easy conversations that we had, they were. Just had a nice flow to them, a nice give and take. And it never felt. It was rushed, but he never felt pushy. Like I've started talking with guys and I felt that pushiness. Like they were just rushing, rushing, rushing. Let's get into a relationship. And I'm like, wait, no. And then I just would feel suffocated. But nothing. There was nothing like that. He just would answer. He would just ask me questions and was so focused on me and whatever I would answer, he would just come back with a very sweet reply and just very. It was just very focused on me. And, and I just. That drew me in. When I go back and read the text now, I just. It. I'm like, wow, it just drew me in. And I didn't even realize it was happening. I didn't realize it was a manipulation, obviously. And so the second week we said we were. We already said we were falling for each other. And I just remember thinking, God, am I falling for this guy already? It just seems so quick. But I just felt I'm. I've been through a lot. I was 52 at the time and I know what I want and he knew how to mirror what I wanted. He was like the male version of me. And then the second weekend we were supposed to meet, he said he was in Fort Wayne, Indiana, which was about two hours, so we were going to meet up like halfway, but he said he might have to go to San Diego for a business. He said he was a freelance project manager for A construction company, and there was a project that he thought might be getting behind, so he had to fly over there and see what was going on and thought it would only be a week or two. So I thought, okay, we'll just keep chatting. And then that. So that weekend that he went over there, I remember, first of all, I remember doing a reverse image. Not a reverse image search, but a Google search, because I. My. My coworkers had done background checks on their significant others. I thought, maybe that's not a good maybe. Excuse me? Maybe that's not a bad idea. I went to Google him and I couldn't find anything on him. And I just thought, that's really weird. And I just thought, can you hide yourself from a Google search? I read some things that said you could. So I just. I was already too in. So I just decided that, okay, maybe he's just a really private person. But I remember that night, and I think this is the night that he was flying over to San Diego. I just remember feeling like something is really wrong. And it just was this overwhelming clarity that I had. And then later that evening, we had not talked, we had not texted in between the time later that evening, I remember feeling all these just romantic feelings. And I was just like, man, there's got to be a good explanation for it. And I just dismissed it. And it was just like I was not in it quite enough to where I could get some clarity, but in it too much for that clarity to disappear, like, for me to just ignore it then that we. Let's see, this was Friday. So Sunday comes around and he. He broke up with me. That was the day, actually, that he video called me using AI. He. It looked like his picture and. But he said he couldn't hear me. And so I was so distracted by trying to figure out what was going on with my speaker. And I could see it enough to see that it was him, but I wouldn't have been able to tell that it was AI or that I think it was a little grainy. But I. Even if I saw it, I probably just would have thought it's just a bad connection. So he hangs up after 30 seconds. And I said, maybe, like when you. He said, I have to go into a meeting. So I said, maybe after we. We could do a video call. And then later he says. He says that I, man, I had to fire all the site manager and all the construction workers, the projects behind. I'm just gonna go home and go to bed. And then he said, in fact, I hate to say this, but I. I don't know if I'm ready for a relationship. I have this contract to figure out, and I just don't know if I could focus. I want to be friends. I don't want to lose contact, but I just. If you find somebody else, I understand. And I just was like, I don't want to find somebody else. He's just telling me earlier that day he would never break my heart. And then I just missed it and said, okay, whatever, this didn't work out, I'm just going to move on. And then the next day, he was messaging me and he. Later, it was the next night and he just said, I still want you. I'm really sorry. I just. My emotions got the best of me and I know now that you are the one for me in this lifetime. And so I remember feeling hesitant because I was like, are you going to pull this every time you get stressed out? And he's. You have a right to be Leery. And I. He called and I was. He was crying and I was really touched, but I still had my guard up. And then the next day, it was one of those, yeah, I told him I needed space for a couple days, but the next day I'm like, I don't want space. I was just. The fact that he was so vulnerable with those emotions, it just got me in. And so from there on, it just progressed quickly. And I had said. I said that week I had completely fallen in love with him. And we continued to. We talked maybe twice a day and just texted throughout the day. And then this is maybe early November, and then I guess it would be towards late November. He said that. He told me that he had completed a project over in Qatar about two years prior, but that he had to get him and the workers had to get out quickly because it was Covid and never got paid for it. So he had been trying to reach out to the board of directors for the last year to get this payout. And they finally reached out to him and wanted to discuss it with him and eventually told him that they want to give him this payout, but he had to go over to Qatar to get the funds. And at this point, we had planned on meeting in December. I was supposed to go to LA to see a friend and he was in San Diego. So we were going to meet up a couple days before and fly back together. And then when this happened, I said, is this going to delay your return? And he said, no, I'll still be coming home to you. And at this point, we're talking about. We're talking engagement. We were. I was looking at houses, sending him pictures of listings, pictures of engagement rings. So he was going to move to me, and he said, I'll be back mid December. And then he was going to pick me up from the airport the following day when I came back from la. And so around the week of Thanksgiving, he flew to Qatar, and he had to get documentation together. So he needed it. He needed a lawyer. And then he needed a translator to help with his meeting with the board of directors. And he was sending me, like, payment receipts, like, just showing me. I just. I felt like he was being transparent with me as his partner and showing me these payments. He was. And he was gaining my trust at the same time. Then one day, he couldn't log into his bank account, and he asked if I could try, and I said, yeah, sure. So he sent me the login and the password. And once I got in, he. I saw that he had money. He had like, seven, eight hundred thousand dollars. And he asked, He. He walked me through transferring the money, and then it was a success. And I. And this is the part where he's like, gaining my trust. And I just remember feeling, oh, my God. I remember saying, I've, like I said, I just fallen deeper in love with you because I just feel like we're such a great team. And then the next day comes, he has to make another payment to the translator. And he asked. He still couldn't get in and asked me to try, and I couldn't get in. His account was frozen due to suspicious activity. So he said that day he had to work with his account manager to see what he could do. And he ended up telling me that he couldn't get in, that he would have to go to the main branch in England for facial verification. And he had to have this meeting, I think it was a couple days away with the board of directors. And so he was really upset because he didn't have the translator, and he just thought it was going to be really unprofessional. And I. He basically said he never asked me directly for money, but he said he has to raise the money. And I remember thinking, man, if he asked me for money, I'm going to feel really uncomfortable. And because he didn't ask, I said I would go to my financial advisor, but I can't get money out in two days. It takes seven to 10 days. And he even said to me, he's like, wait a minute. He said, slow down. I've asked a friend it was like he didn't want to burden me. And I'm like, okay. So the next day or two, he hadn't heard back from his friend. And I just remember thinking, I've got to do something. Like, he worked so hard for this. What can I do? And then it occurred to me I could probably take out some loans. So I went to my bank, and this he owed. He needed $21,000. So I got a $15,000 loan and then a $5,000 cash advance, and then I had a thousand of my own money. So I said, what is the best way for me to get this to you? And he said, bitcoin atm. It's quick. I'll get it immediately. And so then I spent the next four days sending him money in different Bitcoin ATMs. And then there was a matter of the Bitcoin ATM fees. So those were probably at least 4,000. So I just, I got a loan from a different bank for $5,000 and got that money to him. And then. So his meeting had been rescheduled for that the next Friday, and it was a success, and I was really excited. And that was the day I left for LA to see my friend. And so we were supposed to meet in a week and he's, I have a meeting with the financier on Monday and we'll see how it goes. So once he had the meeting, he said, again, the meeting was a success. And. But he had to. He said the deal was I have to do an inspection on the property. At that point, I knew there was a delay, he wasn't going to make it home. So he said he would try. But then I guess fast forward to a week later, he said, let me see if I can handle the inspection and maybe you as my next of kin can handle the payout. And I said, okay. And so he sends me a beneficiary form to fill out as his next of kin. And so I did that. And then he's. He was asking me, what do you think? Should we do a bank check or should we do this through crypto? And he said, a bank check is going to be costly and the crypto is quicker, but what do you think? And I said, I guess we should go with crypto, since it's going to be faster. So he sent me a link to the crypto platform and he said, create an account and then we'll reach out to customer service. And he drafted an email, and the customer service got back to me and said, okay, we're assigning you, an account manager, contact him through WhatsApp. So I did all that, and the. The account manager needed to verify my account. And then he said, send me the beneficiary form and your driver's license, which I did. And he said, okay, the money should be in your account within 24 to 48 hours. So 48 hours later, I checked the account. It's there. And I said to him, how do we transfer this? Like, how do I convert this to cash and transfer it to my bank? And he's, I'll walk you through that. So as we're doing, this is all through texting. And he said, first of all, in order to transfer the money, there's a $50,000 activation fee. And I'm like, what, are you kidding me? I never heard of that. And I didn't question him, but I just went along, and I still wasn't thinking scam. I thought that he was maybe being scammed by this company. They were pulling the wool over his eyes. So in the meantime, I am going back and forth with the scammer and this account manager and telling him what was being said. And I said, can you take it out of the payout? And this payout, by the way, is like $10.1 million. And, yeah, for this, like, whole project that he did, he had to pay some of his contractors, but we would have $5 million. And so he. The account manager said, no, you have to pay it up front. It's a bond payment, but you'll get it back. And so I thought, at that point, I'm like, $26,000 if something goes wrong. I said, I could live with that. I have money in my retirement to pay that off. But this is a little scary. But I reluctantly said that I'll go to my financial advisor and see what I can do, but it's going to take some time. So I get on the phone with my financial advisor, and we have a really good professional relationship. So I think at that point, I was just felt so isolated and so frustrated that I just told him the whole story. I just had that little voice that said, tell him what's going on. And so I did. And then he and his team are trained in romance fraud. So he said, I Beth, I hate to be the one to tell you this. I think you're in a romance scam. And I just remember thinking, what? I said, no, he never asked for money. He kept saying, this is classic romance fraud. And I'm like, he never asked me for the money. How is this classic Romance fraud. I don't understand. So he kept me on the phone for an hour, and I was willing to listen because it was like, I couldn't believe it. But I couldn't ignore it at this point because, like I said, the $50,000 is a lot more money. And he sent me some articles which I read, and I was like, to really explain a lot. My heart still wasn't blaming it, but my head was questioning it. So I said to him, I'm not ready to cut it off. It didn't change the love I felt for this man. And he's. Tell him that I'm out of town for a couple weeks and you can't get the money until you sign a funds release form. I'm like, okay, that'll stall them. They'll give you some time to figure out what's going on, wrap your head around it. And so that's what I did. And I kept him. I kept him going for a week. I was sending all the love messages and poems. And so as far as he knew, I was still going to send him $50,000. And then about a week later, it was starting to get really difficult to keep up the facade. So I. And I told everybody I had done a police report. I told my friends, my family, and I was visiting my family, this was late December. And he said, why don't you cut him off here while your family is here to support you? Like, yeah, it's probably a good idea. So he. I would just block him. And I'm like, no, he has to know that I know. So my cousin wrote this, like, really clever poem, basically telling him to F off. And so I said to him, it was great. This is brilliant. And I sent it to him. And then I blocked him. But I started questioning, what if I broke his heart? What if he's real? So the next day, of course, what do I do? I check my spam, and sure enough, there's a message from him saying, how could you think this of me? I don't understand what got into you? And he always used my fear against me. He said, are you just. Are you going to forever push away any man who loves you? Just this ridiculous stuff? I'll just keep loving you until the specs in your mind clear. And that really got me at the time. Now, when I look at that, I laugh. But I. So I got back in touch. I'm like. I told my friend, I said, I'm not going to send any more money, but I have to know. I have to play this out and she's okay. So somebody at least knew so I can be accountable. So I get back in touch and this was only for a couple of days. And I just, I started seeing through him. He was just gaslighting me. He would tell me that he, I. He would say, I love you and I can't stop loving you, but you broke me. How could you do this? And don't ever hurt me again, but I still love you and I forgive you. And it just started feeling really toxic. And then, and then he said, what if I had taken my own life? And that was the last draw. I'm like, I don't. Even if you're real, even if you are real, I don't want a relationship with someone who's threatening suicide. I had enough self awareness at that point and I had, I was grounded enough to say, I don't want that. I don't care how much I love you. And so then I sent him another like a long message confronting him on every, everything that, that he did and why it was a scam. And he never answered any of it. And so he came back with one last ditch effort and said, I, I don't think anything I do or say will matter until I'm home. And he was telling me that the lie is the fear in my mind and everything it's creating and I'm going to get sick mentally and emotionally if I keep believing this. And I confronted him on how he would isolate me. He goes, I'm not isolating you, but I'm protecting you. And what do you say at the end of the day, all you have is yourself. And I'm like, that's not true. So I just. My last message was, I don't trust you. I don't believe you. I don't want to talk to you, but if you're real, bring me my money. Prove me wrong. Maybe we'll talk. And then I never heard from him again. So it was a very long, convoluted, crazy sophisticated scam. Yeah.
