Dan Bernstein Unfiltered — Episode 2 (August 26, 2025)

Chicago Bears Offense Under Ben Johnson, Pat Fitzgerald’s Settlement, and Opening the Book of Dead

Episode Overview

This wide-ranging episode finds Dan Bernstein and longtime producer Matt Abbatacola diving deep into three major themes. First, they deliver an unfiltered, candid take on new Chicago Bears head coach Ben Johnson and the inherent challenges he faces in transforming the offense. Next, they break down the legal and ethical implications of Pat Fitzgerald’s hefty settlement with Northwestern University. Lastly, in a signature segment of darkly comedic reflection, they open their “Book of Dead”—reacting to the passing of notable figures in sports, pop culture, and beyond.

1. The Bears’ Ben Johnson Era: Mythical Playbooks & Real Challenges

[07:32 – 18:49]

Key Points & Insights

• “The Magic Playbook” Phenomenon

  • Bernstein observes that every offensive-minded football coach, at any level, starts their new tenure with a “giant, glowing playbook” but quickly pares it down to only a handful of effective plays.
    • “Offensive minded coach comes with giant playbook... Loves the sacred giant glowing playbook. This will solve everything. The magic playbook.” – Dan [08:11]
  • The coaching reality is that only a few plays wind up working by the end of camp, regardless of initial optimism.
    • “I have a thousand plays, end of training camp, I have three plays that work. It happens no matter what.” – Dan [09:31]

• Ben Johnson’s Intelligence & the Reality with the Bears

  • High praise for Johnson’s smarts but skepticism about how quickly his complex offense can actually take hold with the Bears’ current talent.
    • “He is as smart a coach as we’ve had here... Mark Trestman, very smart, too—just a weirdo... Eberfluss basically couldn’t find his own ass if it had a bell on it.” – Dan [10:20]
  • Matt echoes that Johnson should be smart enough to know his massive playbook will need to be cut to what works in Chicago.
    • “I’m hoping he’s being truthful... that he has taken those 3,000 plays and he’s whittled it down to... 45 that I know we can run... and just like you said, he’s going to get down to the bare bones and then build up from there.” – Matt [14:56]

• Fan Base Expectations and “Wasted Years”

  • Bernstein calls out Bears’ front office for what he sees as a wasted year of Caleb Williams’ development under the previous coaching staff.
    • “You wasted completely a number one overall pick, quote, unquote, generational talent. You can’t say, well, it’s going to take a little bit of time. Ben Johnson is here to make him real good right now. Right now. And if that means you only run three plays, fine.” – Dan [16:25]
  • Both hosts warn fans not to expect an immediate offensive turnaround like Johnson’s later years in Detroit, given the state of the Bears roster.

• Key Frustrations

  • Bernstein pushes back on the “to the untrained eye” excuse from Johnson about rookie QB mistakes:
    • “I like to think my eye’s pretty trained at watching Bears football for, you know, professionally for 30 years. And it doesn’t look good.” – Dan [12:12]
    • “Don’t tell me I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.” – Dan [12:40]

• Summary Soundbite

  • “Let’s see what it looks like when they realize that this gravity that affects offensive coaches is going to affect the Bears. They’re not immune.” – Dan [18:24]

2. Pat Fitzgerald vs. Northwestern: Massive Settlement, Zero Vindication

[18:49 – 27:54]

Key Points & Analysis

• Settlement Details

  • Fitzgerald’s lawsuit against Northwestern over his firing ended in a settlement—widely rumored to be $50 million or more.
    • “The initial speculation I heard was 50 million. That’s low. That’s low. More like keep going. I said 70. Wow. Yeah, wow was right.” – Dan [19:24]

• Legal Realities vs. Truth

  • Dissects the absurdity of Fitzgerald’s legal stance (“I didn’t know about the hazing”) and the university’s decision to settle, likely due to inability to meet the burden of proof with reasonable court evidence.
    • “Pat Fitzgerald had to pick one of two lanes... He can say it happened... I didn’t know anything about it. Now it’s completely preposterous... but proving that in court is something different.” – Dan [20:00]
  • Cautions listeners: Settlements do not mean exoneration or innocence.
    • “Just because something’s settled... It’s also the same way when charges get dropped sometimes. That doesn’t mean innocence.” – Matt & Dan [26:13–26:22]

• Moral Perspective

  • Dan’s conclusion: Fitzgerald should disappear from coaching, regardless of legal technicalities.
    • “Just take your money, buy a boat. Go away... I wouldn’t want my kid playing for him.” – Dan [25:31]
    • “However this went down, just take your money, buy a boat. Buy multiple boats. Buy a plane, figure out what’s next. I wouldn’t want my kid playing for him.” – Dan [25:32]

• Context Critique: University Priorities

  • The hosts lament Northwestern’s financial priorities—paying a massive chunk to a fired coach while laying off professors and cutting research budgets.
    • “It feels obscene for them to have to cut a check this big when they’re firing professors. When they’re talking about what the mission of Northwestern University is... they can come up with that chunk of change for Pat Fitzgerald just to get it out of their hair.” – Dan [21:49]

3. “Book of Dead”: Remembering (and Riffing on) Notable Recent Deaths

[35:27 – 67:21]

A signature segment of the podcast, Matt opens his “Book of Dead,” prompting Dan to react to—and often reminisce, roast, or riff about—recent passings in sports, entertainment, and politics.

Some Notable Entries & Quotes

(Timestamps refer to when individual figures are discussed; only highlights included)

• Val Kilmer, Actor [38:20 – 39:45]

  • “Great actor. He will always be memorable... I think I’ll remember Doc Holliday from Tombstone at the very top. I think that was brilliant.” – Dan

• Loretta Swit (“Hot Lips” Houlihan, MASH) [39:56 – 41:19]

  • “Her character really evolved over time, that in the later episodes, she was given a lot more to work with and made the most of it.” – Dan [40:43]

• Jim “Wrong Way” Marshall, NFL [41:38 – 42:49]

  • Dan fondly recalls Marshall’s infamous fumble return and long, durable career, as immortalized in childhood sports books.

• Ozzy Osbourne, Musician [51:47 – 52:56]

  • “I didn’t appreciate it as much... But when I read some of the obituaries and really understood how unfairly... he was, oh, he’s satanic and he’s scary and awful and bad for our kids... A real one, an absolute real one.” – Dan

• Chuck Mangione, Musician [54:46 – 56:31]

  • Dan shares a story about a literal run-in with Mangione’s flugelhorn behind the scenes at a Bulls-Pacers game.
  • “He couldn’t look more like Chuck Mangione... the stringy hair, the hat...” – Dan

• Hulk Hogan, Wrestling [57:26 – 58:48]

  • “If I were allowed... to walk over and piss on his grave, I would do it. I would try to write my name in cursive... Bad, bad, bad guy. Racist, abuser, scab...” – Dan

• Tom Lehrer, Satirical Songwriter [59:53 – 62:14]

  • “Tom Lehrer... a Harvard-trained mathematician... an influential, really important satirist... before he died, made his entire catalog public domain.” – Dan

• Ryne Sandberg, Cubs Second Baseman [62:20 – 64:57]

  • Matt shares personal memories of Sandberg, his idol as a young Cubs fan.
  • Dan recognizes Sandberg’s understated greatness: “Looking at his body of work helps you appreciate him... he was a remarkable, deserved Hall of Fame baseball player.” – Dan [64:28]

• James Dobson, Evangelical Leader [65:00 – 66:25]

  • “There is not enough piss in the world for his grave. What a living piece of shit... The way he perverted religious beliefs to demonize LGBTQ women... a dangerous, awful, awful human being who made the world demonstrably worse. I could not be happier that he's dead.” – Dan [65:03–66:25]

4. Tone & Noteworthy Moments

• Candid & Unfiltered: Both hosts continue to set this show apart from classic sports radio with their unapologetic honesty, personal anecdotes, and willingness to take strong stances on ethical and cultural issues.
• Mental Health Openness: Early in the episode, they revisit feedback from listeners about their mental health discussions and reaffirm their commitment to transparency on the subject.
  • “It’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay to ask for help and to tell people you’re not okay... what’s not okay is to keep that inside.” – Matt [03:35]
• Light & Dark Humor: The segment on the dead mixes real affection, biting sarcasm, and irreverent riffs—a unique blend of sports talk and pop culture gallows humor.

5. Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “Offensive minded coach takes job... comes with giant playbook... end of training camp, I have three plays that work.” – Dan [08:11–09:31]
• “I like to think my eye’s pretty trained at watching Bears football for, you know, professionally for 30 years. And it doesn’t look good.” – Dan [12:12]
• “Don’t tell me I’m not seeing what I’m seeing.” – Dan [12:40]
• “Just take your money, buy a boat. Go away... I wouldn’t want my kid playing for him.” – Dan [25:32]
• “There is not enough piss in the world for his grave.” (on James Dobson) – Dan [65:03]
• “Let’s see what it looks like when they realize that this gravity that affects offensive coaches is going to affect the Bears. They’re not immune.” – Dan [18:24]

6. Timestamps: Major Segments

• Listener gratitude, mental health talk: [00:39 – 05:00]
• Bears’ offense / Ben Johnson: [07:32 – 18:49]
• Pat Fitzgerald/Northwestern: [18:49 – 27:54]
• TV/movie chat, segue to ‘Book of Dead’: [27:54 – 35:27]
• Book of Dead (celeb/practical deaths segment): [35:27 – 67:21]
  • (Individual deaths and reactions go from [37:16] (Wink Martindale) through [62:44] (Ryne Sandberg) and [65:00] (James Dobson))
• Closing notes / outro: [67:21 – 68:07]

Conclusion

Episode 2 of Dan Bernstein Unfiltered merges sharp sports analysis, unfiltered personal opinion, and candid irreverence. From dissecting the realities of coaching transitions in the NFL, to denouncing institutional failures at Northwestern, to commemorating (and critiquing) the lives of the recently deceased, Dan and Matt bring personality and candor that Chicago sports fans have come to expect. This episode sets the tone for the podcast’s blend of sports, social commentary, and dark humor—with plenty for both diehard fans and casual listeners to chew on.

For more, subscribe to Dan Bernstein Unfiltered and the new Bears-specific podcast, “Forward Progress.”