Dan Bernstein Unfiltered — Episode Summary

"Can Caleb build off the win on the road?"

Podcast: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Hosts: Dan Bernstein, Matt Abbatacola
Date: September 26, 2025
Episode Focus:
This spirited Friday episode covers the Chicago Bears’ upcoming clash with the Raiders, the pressure and opportunity for rookie QB Caleb Williams, the shaky Cubs finish, ongoing listener feedback, local sports talk, and healthy doses of Chicago sports snark. As always, Dan and Matt offer unfiltered takes, comedic asides, and smart analysis for faithful Chicago fans.

Main Topics & Key Insights

1. Chicago Bears vs. Raiders Preview

• What’s at Stake for Caleb Williams

  • The Bears’ rookie QB, Caleb Williams, delivered a breakout four-touchdown game. The question: can he “stack” good performances back-to-back, especially on the road?

  • Offensive Line Concerns:

    • Potential for Theo Benedict to start at right tackle, a notable vulnerability facing Maxx Crosby and the Raiders’ defensive line.
    • Maxx Crosby moves around and will likely exploit any weakness, especially vs. a fill-in right tackle or against Braxton Jones (03:11–07:10).
    • “Why is Braxton Jones’s ass in my lap?” —Dan Bernstein [07:10]

  • The Road Factor and Crowd Noise:

    • Offensive lines struggle more on the road due to crowd noise affecting communication.
    • Raiders’ stadium expected to have a 50/50 Bears crowd split, but could still be loud for Bears’ offense (07:20–08:19).
    • Caleb’s leadership will be tested: “He was down there on fourth down before the DJ Moore touchdown telling the fans to be quiet” —Dan Bernstein [08:19]

  • The Meaning of Consistency:

    • The importance of Williams following up his strong performance for real franchise hope.
    • “For this to matter, it feels like a second consecutive strong performance…that would help it all matter more.” —Matt Abbatacola [08:37]

• Historical Context

  • Only four times in Bears history has a QB thrown at least four touchdowns with zero interceptions in a game: Eric Kramer, Cade McNown, Mitchell Trubisky, and Caleb Williams.
    — [09:36–10:24]
  • “Unbelievable. In the history of the franchise.” —Matt Abbatacola [10:24]

2. Cubs Postseason Outlook & Panic Meter

• Cubs suffered a loss (a “clunker”), but Dan and Matt debate: is it a big deal, or not?
  • “It’s not a big deal, but it’s a big deal.” —Dan Bernstein [00:49]
• Cubs hold a magic number of 2 for the top wild card spot; breakdown of the playoff picture, including both AL and NL races (24:06–26:07).
• Discussion about the Cubs’ odds and an aside on following multiple games and handling streaming delays between platforms (21:59–22:11).

3. NFL Broadcasts, Studio Shows, and Media Snark

• Entertaining dissection of NFL studio shows and their bar for quality.
  • “Don’t make people dumber.” —Matt Abbatacola [20:51]
• Al Michaels and Kirk Herbstreit commentary quirks on Thursday Night Football (18:23–20:08).
• Notable studio show moments, such as Steve Mariucci’s Captain Obvious moment (“Keep an eye on the Baltimore Ravens.” [21:17]) lampooned by Dan and Matt.

4. Chicago Sports (Beyond Bears & Cubs)

• In-the-weeds on Bears’ O-line issues, specifically Darnell Wright’s penalty problems:
  • “Of 97 offensive tackles ranked in the NFL in terms of penalties, he is 96th. I think that might be bad.” —Brendan, listener email [37:39]
  • “He’s never going to play the way a first round pick should play…that is not a first round pick. That’s on Ryan Poles.” —Dan Bernstein [37:54]

5. Unique Unfiltered Banter & Recurring Listener Features

a) Border Patrol Satire

• Extended riff on heavy-handed law enforcement patrolling the Chicago River, machine guns at the ready, and the “worst of the worst” being popsicle and fruit vendors (03:43–06:01, 26:27–27:17, 27:38–32:12).
  • “Where am I going to get my paleta de limon?” —Matt [05:50]
  • “Put the mango down!” —Dan [27:55]
• Listeners get in on the in-joke, highlighting “worst of the worst” as a recurring phrase [30:41].

b) Comedy on Stadium Food & Snack Commercials

• Over-the-top bits about movie theater popcorn butter, to-go ramekins, and the “mystery goo” in those dispensers (02:24–03:19).

c) Ongoing Running Gags & Callbacks

• Inside jokes about Chris Ranji and his “legal troubles” (15:32–17:32)
• “Clubber Lang” and F. Scott Fitzgerald from the movie Ted — paid off as a callback to a technical mishap from a past episode (49:51–51:43).

6. Friday Feedback Segment

Listeners’ emails spark discussion on:

a) Historic Chicago River Swim

• A listener highlights the first open water swimming event in the Chicago River in 100 years, celebrating environmental progress:
  • “The reclamation of the river is one of the most impressive urban waterway revitalization projects in recent memory.” —Email from Polish Physician [33:43]

b) Reconciling Fandom with Player Beliefs

• Doug, a gay Cubs fan, explains his approach to rooting for players he disagrees with by donating to LGBTQ causes every time a problematic player has success:
  • “I would put some money in a pot every time he did something good in a game, and at the end of the season…donate the money to a pro LGBTQ charity.” —Doug (Listener) [46:59]
• David discusses why certain public figures (e.g., Matt Shaw) evade owning up to controversial beliefs—smart critique of public dog-whistles and coded language from the far right (47:32–48:46).

c) Advertising Tropes

• Listeners break down the similarities between Rob Gronkowski’s USAA ads and the classic “Trix are for kids” commercials; discussion extends to Toffifee, Charlie the Tuna, and Dawn dish soap’s strange mascot choices (39:53–44:59).

d) Weighted Vests for Exercise

• Matt’s take on the weighted vest fitness trend generates listener response (35:27–36:07):
  • “Exercise is great. It’s just exercising while wearing extra weight doesn’t do that much for you.” —Matt

7. DBU Picks and Parlay Segment

• Picks for the weekend, including explanations about superstition (“the Bernstein Kiss of Life”) and how whenever Dan/Matt doubt a player (Travis Kelce, this week), he immediately goes off the next game (55:32–56:45).
  • Matt: Travis Kelce over 50 receiving yards (+154) [56:13]
  • Dan: Boston College -6.5 and under 52.5 vs. Cal [55:05]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Petering Carcinogens at the Movie Theater:
  “I've always wanted to open the cabinets below to see what's down there…It's just. Yeah. Hey, like the guy close the door. Like the guy in the…The copier sorter in Men in Black two.” —Matt [02:38–02:44]

• On Bears Offensive Line Struggles:
  “Generally your offensive line that's good at home, bad on the road is...a team in the Blob.” —Matt [07:20]

• On Anxiety and Worry:
  “Worry is interest on a debt you may never owe.” —Dan [13:41]

• On Steve Mariucci's Analysis:
  “I've got a sleeper for you. Thanks Steve.” —Matt [21:17]

• On Minneapolis Law Enforcement:
  “There was literally a guy in a bass boat, right?...Maybe he was one of the worst of the worst.” —Dan [29:05]

• On Pop Culture Illiteracy and The Great Gatsby:
  [As quoted from the movie ‘Ted’]
  “Who wrote the Great Gatsby?”
  “Jody Bloom?” —Dan
  “Hitler?” —Matt
  “F. Scott Fitzgerald.” —Guest clip [50:49–51:01]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bears O-Line & Caleb Williams Preview: 06:01–08:37
• Historical Bears QBs Stats: 09:36–10:24
• Feedback Friday Segment: 26:07–37:39
• Listener Email: Chicago River Swim Event: 33:42–34:35
• Advertising/Commercial Satire: 39:53–44:59
• Reconciling Player Beliefs & Fandom: 46:59–48:46
• DBU Picks for the Week: 55:05–57:43
• Funny Football Studio Shows/Critique: 20:51–21:19

Overall Tone & Takeaways

Dan and Matt maintain a fast-paced, irreverent, and unfiltered Chicago sensibility — ragging on media, sports figures, and the absurdities of fandom. The show is a lively mashup of smart football analysis, local sports coverage, comic riffs, and audience engagement, peppered with running gags and well-earned frustrations tempered by a love for Chicago sports in all its flawed glory.

Useful For:

• Bears fans wanting a reality check on Caleb Williams
• Cubs fans keeping an eye on postseason odds
• Sports media junkies
• Listeners who love sharp, funny sports banter and Chicago culture references