Can Kyler Gordon help a struggling defense?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered – "Can Kyler Gordon help a struggling defense?"

Podcast: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Host: Dan Bernstein with Executive Producer Matt Abbatacola
Date: January 6, 2026

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Overview

In this episode, Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola focus on the mindset and leadership of Bears head coach Ben Johnson as the team enters the playoffs, including Johnson’s handling of media attention and player expectations. The returning health of defensive back Kyler Gordon is weighed as a possible boost to a beleaguered secondary, though skepticism abounds. The hosts also veer into spirited discussions about coaching philosophies, NFL playoff home advantage, Chicago sports nostalgia, and a medley of personal anecdotes, all delivered in a candid, humorous tone.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ben Johnson’s Approach: Spotlight, Pressure, & Responsibility

• Leadership Style:
  Bernstein points out that head coach Ben Johnson is intentionally taking on the pressure, drawing comparisons to past leaders in Chicago sports.
  • “Ben Johnson is making a conscious decision...to make this game and this run and this moment about himself...taking on the pressure of this game in a way that may take it a bit off of his quarterback.” (00:16)
• Contrast with Past Coaches:
  Strong parallels are drawn with Ozzie Guillen (former White Sox manager), noting differences in intent and method.
  • “With Ben Johnson, it’s more direct...with Ozzie there was a little bit of look over here and I’ll cause a little distraction over here...With Ben Johnson, he’s...not picking fights outside of football.” (05:14 / 06:23)
• Media Narrative:
  Johnson has become the focus in media coverage, “Wise on Ben Johnson’s part because...since he took over, he’s been the story.” (01:48)
• Honesty and Accountability:
  Johnson refuses to sugarcoat struggles, repeatedly stating the offense “wasn’t good enough” and he must “make this better.” (03:00 / 06:23)
• Coaching the Coaches:
  Johnson echoed postgame, “We’ve got to coach it better.” (07:08)
• Notable Quote:
  “His job as a head coach isn’t to be a cheerleader. He’s there to call things out and...say things when they need to be said.” — Matt Abbatacola (10:27)

2. Playoff Stakes & Packers Rivalry

• Matt Eberflus Firing:
  The show opens with Eberflus’ firing as Cowboys DC, poking fun at his attempts to reinvent himself.
• Packers Matchup & LaFleur Tension:
  There’s speculation on Johnson’s public poking at Matt LaFleur, with no real history between them—suggesting gamesmanship and a willingness to stir up the rivalry. (10:39)
• Packers Playoff Hot Seat:
  The panel debates if repeated losing streaks entering the playoffs could jeopardize LaFleur’s job. “You can’t continue to go into postseasons on a losing streaks and lose ... that’s not going to fly.” (12:23)
• Home Field Advantage Data:
  The hosts stress statistical importance—playoff home teams win 67% of the time (compared to 53% in the regular season). “Massive, massive, huge, huge, meaningful statistical difference.” (13:51)

3. Defense Woes & Kyler Gordon’s Return

• Skepticism Over Gordon’s Impact:
  Bernstein is highly doubtful about Kyler Gordon’s ability to shift the defense’s fortunes: - “The one thing that I will not be expecting is for Kyler Gordon, if he returns, to make a material difference.” (16:59) - “...asking him to be ready to play this game this time is asking an awful lot. It would be an amazing story. But even then, as the nickel corner, he’s just a piece in this.” (17:12)

  • Notable Quote:
    “Please don’t think that he’s some magic panacea that is just going to be like, well, once he’s back, everything’s going to be fine. You still can’t rush the passer.” — Dan Bernstein (28:03)

• Readiness Concerns:

  • Opening his practice window does not guarantee game-day activation:
    • “You’re generally not opening a window and coming back that week.” (18:06)
    • “I need to see action and not just a couple of days and not just walkthroughs.” (18:26)

• Roster Juggling:
  With Gardner-Johnson in concussion protocol and cornerback depth thin, the defensive pieces are in flux (18:42).

4. Coaching Philosophy & Sports Psychology

• Baseball vs Football Mentality:
  The show contrasts how coaches address adversity across sports.
  • “You can’t play baseball harder...the best thing you can have in baseball is a lack of anxiety...in football there has to be [a fight or flight response].” (08:22)
• Expectations, Pressure, Practice:
  Both hosts admire Johnson’s habit of taking more blame as the team declines—a mark of maturity and self-assurance (07:08).

5. Bears Offensive Record & Statistical Debates

• Franchise Touchdown Record:
  Note that the Bears set a new franchise scoring record with 47 touchdowns, topping the previous 45—but the relevance is debated due to the 17-game schedule.
  • “They hold a new record now for 17 games.” — Dan Bernstein (21:44)
  • “If you add a game, then the team previously set the record has a reasonable claim.” (21:54)
• Efficiency vs Raw Numbers:
  The conversation touches on the importance of offensive efficiency rather than sheer counting stats (22:09).

6. Defense: "Protect Your Team from Your Own Defense"

• Game Strategy Going Forward:
  The focus should be minimizing the defense’s time on the field:
  • “The story of this game, I think, is the less the Bears defense plays, the better.” (22:31)
  • “You’ve got to protect your team from your own defense.” (22:48)
  • Humorous moment about Packers scoring four TDs in six minutes of possession:
    • “That’s not good...off the field, Dan, that’s what you wanted!” (22:55)

7. Chicago Sports, Nostalgia & Light-Hearted Tangents

• Personal & Side Discussions:
  The episode features nostalgic recollections about taco cravings, eating ice cream, and impersonating classic Chicago Blackhawks figures, wrapped in the hosts’ trademark self-deprecating humor.
  • On tacos: “You don’t crave tacos and go to Taco Bell. You crave Taco Bell.” (27:21)
  • On Haagen Dazs pints not being a full pint:
    “Don’t feel bad if you eat a pint...it’s not a pint. You didn’t eat a pint. You just had a serving.” (46:19)
• Sports Miscellanea:
  • Discussion on Bulls/Pistons, NFL playoff trends, and the absurdity of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” by Billy Joel, with Chubby Checker discourse.
  • Reminiscence about White Sox ad campaigns and old-school Chicago sports media personalities (54:34).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On Ben Johnson Shouldering Pressure:
  “He is taking on the pressure of this game in a way that may take it a bit off of his quarterback...I think it speaks to his confidence and to his assumption of responsibility in this moment.” — Dan Bernstein (00:15)

• “With Ben Johnson, it’s more direct...not picking fights outside of football. But he is the one saying this has got to be better. I’ve got to make this better. This is unacceptable.” — Dan Bernstein (06:23)

• On Leadership Evolution:
  “As his team is doing worse, he’s taking more of the blame and not less.” — Dan Bernstein (07:08)

• On the Home Playoff Advantage:
  “Massive, massive, huge, huge, meaningful statistical difference there.” — Dan Bernstein (13:51)

• On Returning Players and Defensive Optimism:
  “Please don’t think that he’s some magic panacea that is just going to be like, well, once he’s back, everything’s going to be fine. You still can’t rush the passer.” — Dan Bernstein (28:03)

• On Bear’s Defensive Strategy:
  “You’ve got to protect your team from your own defense.” — Dan Bernstein (22:48)

• On Tacos & Taco Bell:
  “You don’t crave tacos and go to Taco Bell. You crave Taco Bell.” — Dan Bernstein (27:21)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:15 — Dan sets stage: Ben Johnson taking on pressure, comparison to Guillen.
• 05:14/06:23 — Further comparison, analysis of media strategy.
• 07:08 — Johnson’s accountability and growth as a coach.
• 10:27 — Johnson on not being the “cheerleader” type.
• 12:23 — Discussion about Packers’ playoff struggles and LaFleur’s job security.
• 13:51 — Explanation of home-field playoff advantage.
• 16:59 — Pivot to Kyler Gordon’s injury return.
• 18:06 — Probabilities and risks of rushing Gordon back.
• 21:44–22:09 — Bears’ touchdown record debate and its significance.
• 22:48 — On protecting Bears from their own defense.
• 27:21 — The Taco Bell/taco craving distinction.
• 28:03 — Kyler Gordon “magic fix” warning.
• 46:19 — Haagen Dazs pint revelation.
• 54:34 — White Sox ad campaigns and the intersection with Chubby Checker.

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Final Takeaways

• Kyler Gordon’s Return:
  Both hosts caution against expecting Gordon to make an instant or major difference to the struggling Bears’ defense this week, noting practice structure and his lengthy layoff.
• Ben Johnson’s Tactics:
  Johnson’s command of the narrative and willingness to own blame demonstrates a maturity not always seen from rookie head coaches. There’s optimism about his approach, if not the team’s prospects.
• Defensive Focus:
  The priority for the Bears is to reduce the exposure of their defense and maximize offensive control.

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Tone & Style

The episode, true to the "Unfiltered" label, features a blend of sharp sports commentary, Chicago sports inside jokes, and irreverent asides—all delivered in the candid, sometimes biting vernacular that Bernstein fans have come to expect.

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For listeners who missed the show:
This episode delivers a grounded assessment of the Bears' coaching evolution, realistic reflection on defensive reinforcements, and a whirlwind of Chicago sports banter—with the recurring reminder: “Don’t expect miracles from Kyler Gordon... but plenty of unfiltered takes from Dan and Matt.”

Transcript

[A]

Dan Bernstein, Unfiltered Unfiltered on 312 Sports, Bernstein Unfiltered is brought to you in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein, here along with our executive producer Matt Abaticola. And Ben Johnson is making a conscious decision, I believe, to make this game and this run and this moment about himself. And not in a bad way, not in a bad way, not in an egotistical way, but I think he is taking on the pressure of this game in a way that may take it a bit off of his quarterback. And I think it's a conscious decision on his part. I think the way he reacted to the loss was a conscious decision on his part to invite this and to do this. And I'm not surprised. I think it's cool. I think it speaks to his confidence and to his assumption of responsibility in this moment. Not hiding from it, not globalizing it, not saying, oh, well, that it's all of us and we're a team and we'll all face this moment. And this is in a lot of ways exactly what you wanted when you hired him, I think.

[B]

And how's he doing that in your.

[A]

Well, I think first of all, the more I think about the way he reacted to the loss and yesterday when we discussed it, it had a lot to do with how he didn't even mention the defense. And sure, he wasn't asked about it, but he the offense, the offense, the offense, the offense wasn't good enough. When you can't have, you know, one phase or, you know, two phase, this, it's the phase that he handles, he said was not good enough and he took that on him. And even going into this, if you notice the way already that we're seeing this couched is and I was looking if you read the beat, reporters in general have been focusing more on him than they are on Caleb Williams first ever playoff game or any number of these players first ever playoff game. And I, I think it's wise on Ben Johnson's part because this is ever since he took over, he's been the story what's different. And by the way, as we're starting the recording here, we're finding out that Matt Eberfluss indeed has been fired by the Dallas Cowboys. If you need a little bookend on that one, that powdered toast man is indeed once again powdered toast shocked in a consecutive year.

[B]

I can't believe it.

[A]

I know. How can you bring. You had Matt Eberfluffs there. You let him walk right out the door.

[B]

First they Moved him to the booth. Then they moved into the parking lot. Then they kept him at the team hotel.

[A]

Just kept.

[B]

Then they just kept him in Dallas.

[A]

Keep on going there. All right. Maybe grow the beard back.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Maybe. Because we know that that saved him one time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Growing a beard to make him look smarter. And then he wore the little glasses.

[B]

Oh, you got a glow up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

What is he going to do now? What are you going to do? He could maybe go like Howard Hughes. Grow his fingernails out and super long hair and just wander this.

[B]

Or maybe just go old school and go really fat. Just get huge.

[A]

Yeah, that would work. If just he needs to reinvent himself so people forget he's Matt Eberfloos. That's why he wore the beard. He's like, I'm not Matt Eberfluss. I'm Schmat Schmieberfluss. Okay, well, maybe, you know, defense. All right, bring them on in here. So. So. But Johnson understands that that's why he's here. It's why he's here is to face this and face all this down and take the pressure off his team by putting it on him a little bit. He's basically saying, we're not going to play as badly as we did. We've got a lot of work to do. We can't have a phase of football play like that. And. Okay, well, Ben, go get them, man. What you got? You spent the week saying, we don't rest guys. We play football. That's what we do. If they want to rest guys, they can. And this is the same guy that, shall we say, picked a fight for no reason with Matt LaFleur. He did that. He knows he did that. They're not shying away now from what this has become with the packers just this year. Why not? Why shouldn't you?

[B]

You know what this reminds me of, and I remember talking about this quite a bit on the air long, long ago, was when the White Sox hired Ozzie Guillen. And Ozzie Guillen knew you were going to say it, not in an egotistical way, but brought all of the focus and the conversation in the clubhouse about himself. And he was out front and took it all to so his players could play baseball. And then year two, was it because he was hired in 04. Right. And then 05, they win 99 games, they win the World Series. It's very similar to that with Ozzy Guillen, but not. Not in a similar Persona or fashion, but deliberately within that same intent.

[A]

I Do think with, with Ben Johnson it's more direct. With it's less distraction. I think with Ozzy there was a little bit of look over here and I'll cause a little distraction over here while you're over here. And I also think that there were some aspects of Guillen's leadership that were attributed to him playing three dimensional chess and being crazy like a fox when in fact it was just Ozzy being just living his life.

[B]

And also too though, there's a big difference. Obviously Ozzy would speak multiple times a day where you know, you get Ben Johnson twice during the week and then you know, once after a game, the next day, another day. I mean so you know the opportunities for Ozzy to be Ozzy and take it more upon himself where it might have seemed more like an act or some kind of gimmick really what it really wasn't. It's just you talk more in baseball.

[A]

And the difference also is that where Ozzy would call J. Mariotti something he shouldn't have said and that's the whole next week and a half.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Would be when because the news cycles weren't as fast then in the early 2000s.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then you've got, you know, now for Ben Johnson, he's not, he's not picking fights outside of football. But he is the one saying this has got to be better. I've got to make this better. This is unacceptable. And this goes back to training camp. We're not practicing the way a championship team practices.

[B]

That was after the Lions loss.

[A]

There was. And remember early on when he said we've got to have better starts in practice? Yeah. He said that we've got to start better. And with now when his team is doing worse, I think it's a great reflex of a real coach that when his team is doing worse, he's taking more of the blame and not less. He's saying we've got to coach it better.

[B]

Well, because I think now he believes and knows that they're a good football team where after week two's lost to the Lions. He even said it yesterday that it was a. They were in a race to start playing better football. He knows they can play good football. So the expectations obviously have accelerated throughout the course of the 18 weeks with Ben Johnson and of course too with Ozzy. It's so much different in baseball because the relationships are built differently. Not that you don't have relationships with beat guys in football, but it's changed because the axis has changed quite a bit where baseball man, like you, you shoot the shit and you know personal things and you're there in that, you know, in that dugout or his rhythm.

[A]

Entirely different ecosystem.

[B]

So while it's different, but the intent I think is still the same. And it immediately brought Ozzy back to my brain. As you. As you mentioned that about.

[A]

No question. There's no question that this is carefully done on Ben Johnson's part. I don't think there's anything he does or says that is not contemplated where he hasn't thought through. Through what's going to happen if I take this approach. What's going to happen if I take this approach. The difference is. And the biggest difference between the. When you sports, when you make the comparison, you can't play baseball harder.

[B]

Harder. Right.

[A]

You can't, you can't. You can concentrate harder, but the best thing you can have in baseball is a lack of anxiety. The best thing you can have is confidence, support, a clear mind. There's nothing you can do. There's no fight or flight response in baseball where in football there has to be.

[B]

You know, I wonder, and I don't know this about Caleb, if you ever played baseball, but he would have had a great baseball mindset. He would have been a really good baseball player from a mental perspective, that ability to just wash things away. It's over and done on the next one. He would have been fantastic in baseball.

[A]

Not carry a problem in one aspect of your game into another aspect of your game.

[B]

Yeah, I wonder if he played. I'm sure he played as a kid. I would have to guess.

[A]

I'm sure he was the best athlete in his town growing up. Shortstop, center fielder, pitcher, pitcher, shortstop, center fielder is probably what he was unless he was from like Scottsdale or something or, you know, Tucson, one of these places where they're all coming from. But I'm enjoy. I'm going to enjoy this week. I'm going to enjoy overthinking some of the stuff we hear from Ben Johnson. He's never been a head coach before and I. But I promise you he has replayed in his mind what he would do in the first week of a playoff game over and over and over. From the moment it appeared that the Bears were on a potential playoff trajectory. He's been preparing for this week. And sometimes you would see it and maybe he'd pick a spot on a Wednesday or Thursday practice to storm out, to cut something off, to lay into him a little bit. And we have no idea what he's doing behind the scenes because from all accounts he is. He doesn't pull punches. And even when Caleb has talked about it throughout camp and throughout minicamp even, and just saying, like, I didn't know if he liked me, that there's. Which is fine. Which is good. It's good.

[B]

Well, Ben Johnson said yesterday with the media that his job as a head coach isn't to be a cheerleader. He's not a cheerleader. He's there to call things out and, you know, say things when they need to be said.

[A]

And he is setting this up. The stuff with LaFleur that he decided to do, and I was. When he said it, when he took the job, beating Matt LaFleur a couple times a year is gonna be fun or something like that. Is that what it was? I would look forward and I thought, whoa, what's the history there? And there's none.

[B]

No history.

[A]

There's no history. He offered that and the floor was kind of like, okay, dude, all right. You know, I don't know if there is something deep, deep there that they crossed paths in a, in a hotel lobby at a, at a college or they were both scouting. I don't know. I don't know how these things go, you know.

[B]

And we'll talk more about it on Ford Progress. We have more audio from Ben Johnson. And the upcoming opponent of the Green Bay Packers. They lost their last two of the regular season last year, got bounced in the first round by the Eagles. They were going into this playoff series with a three game losing streak. And if you lose this game to your hated rivals that you've owned for the last 30 games, is Matt LaFleur safe and keeping his job?

[A]

I'm not ready to do that.

[B]

No. I mean, I just, I wonder, dude, you're, you're, you're going into playoffs now on multiple losing streaks in multiple years, and you're getting in at the seventh seed year after year after year. I don't know, man.

[A]

All right, well, I don't know. I didn't come in ready to do that show as to whether or not.

[B]

We'Re not doing that show. I just learned for his. You brought up Matt La Florida. That thought was in my brain, dude. You can't continue to go into postseasons on a losing streaks and lose and, you know, getting in as the wild card, the seventh seed, that's not going to fly.

[A]

And there is a. The idea of home field advantage in the playoffs and why you play for these seeds and why you want to play at home. Brad Biggs, in his 10 things that he published in the Tribune immediately after the Bears game. And if you miss that, you missed the entire week of Tribune content. And I'm not kidding, like that's the stuff that comes out every day is all from that piece that Brad Biggs creates, which he works on before the game. That it's. The game is almost an arbitrary place to put his weekly stuff. And he wrote about the current playoff quarterbacks records home and away in the playoffs.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Did you know no current quarterback, no playoff quarterback has a winning road record.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Even Aaron Rodgers, no playoff quarterback is a winning road record.

[B]

What's his, What's Aaron Rodgers?

[A]

Five and six.

[B]

Five and six. Yeah, but I mean of the, of the guys with playoff experience, there's seven wins on the road and Rogers has five of those. Right.

[A]

So it's, it just, it points out the meaning and the significance, at least currently, however you want to look at it mathematically of having that game at home.

[B]

Well, over the last 10 years, Dan, home teams have a winning percentage of 67% in the playoffs, while during the regular season last year in 2024 for the NFL, home teams had a winning percentage of 53%. So you see how it jumps up quite a bit.

[A]

Massive, massive, huge, huge, meaningful statistical difference there. Why bet the playoffs anywhere else when my bookie gives you everything you need to get paid? NFL playoffs are live. College football is down to the final four teams while all their coaches are busy in the transfer portal. I have no idea what the hell is going on with the timing of college football. I want to get to that. And the super bowl is just around the corner. What this is then is peak betting season and my bookie is built for it because I haven't even mentioned all what's going on with the density of NBA games in college basketball. So for your same account, same wallet, sports casino, live bets, reloads, everything you need is in one place and that place is MyBookie AG, making sure that you are armed with the promo code dbu. You go in with those three letters and you register and you deposit and then you have a bet back bonus token that you can use to cover your first bet up to $500. By cover I mean if it doesn't hit, you use that token and then you run it back like it never happened. So build a bankroll in January and then ride it right through the Super Bowl. Bet anything, anytime, anywhere. Only at MyBookie. So as usual, I'm often correctly accused of overthinking the things coaches say because that's what we have all week. And because you can't watch practices anymore, that's what we're given when it comes to covering our NFL team. And to hear what the players say is almost always in some ways a distillation of the message they're getting from their coach. And Ben Johnson has made that decision that he's, he says that he's going to have these guys ready to go and we shall see. The one thing that I will not be expecting is for Kyler Gordon, if he returns, to make a material difference. You say, well, wait a second, that's Kyler Gordon. That's the guy that Dennis Allen wanted to come here and coach. And that's their Swiss army knife and their terrific player. Yeah, he hasn't played. It would be a completely unrealistic expectation to think, oh geez, it was, it was perfect that Gordon goes out and you have CJ Gardner Johnson who you lucked into and all of a sudden now CJ Gardner Johnson is his plays dec. And now he might be out with a concussion. Perfect. And here comes Kyler Gordon riding to the rescue. Slow your role. He hasn't played. They haven't even as of right now, as of the time we're recording technically, they have not opened his practice window again off of ir, I presume they're going to. That seems to be, per the presumptions of the reporting in it seems to be what they're going to do, that they are going to get him back practicing again. And you know, Matt and I were just talking about this before the show that whether or not that would be with the intention of playing him in this game Saturday night or just saying, hey, if we get past this then, then we'll have you and then you'll be up to speed. But asking him to be ready to play this game this time is asking an awful lot. It would be an amazing story. But even then, as the nickel corner, he's, he's just a piece in this. There's all kinds of other decisions that need to be made about what's going on in their defensive backfield right now.

[B]

Right. And I think with today being Tuesday and their first practice at a game on Saturday night, and if his window isn't even open yet, I just don't see, I don't see him playing this week.

[A]

Well, my guess is by the time we record forward progress today, we're going to know the windows open. Yeah.

[B]

But even still. So it hasn't opened yet. It opens today. Let's say he's not Playing Saturday. I just. I don't see it.

[A]

Are you sure? Yeah.

[B]

You're generally not opening a window and coming back that week.

[A]

Generally not.

[B]

Yes, generally not. But this is.

[A]

This could be your last game. This is it. There's no reason to open the window now.

[B]

And I need to know, like, I need him to get through a week of practice and another week of practice before I can say that he's going to go out there and not get hurt in warmups again. Like, I need to see some.

[A]

That's a great action.

[B]

I need to see action and not just a couple of days and not just walkthroughs. Yeah, you're right. I need something because of.

[A]

He's let you down.

[B]

Yes. You cannot go into this game and have your 53 man roster down and.

[A]

Then say, oh, by the way, Nick McLeod, you're going to be our nickel corner.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because CJ, GJ is out. Also.

[B]

I'm more interested in, you know, we'll save it for forward pro. I want to get in.

[A]

Yeah. Because I know you've been doing. I came in here, you were already in here. The lights on in there, and you were grinding away, and you had three computers open in front of you.

[B]

Four.

[A]

Four. Yeah. No, seriously, you were like, what's his name? From the Matrix? Who's the guy?

[B]

Keanu Reeves?

[A]

No.

[B]

Laurence Fishburne?

[A]

No, it's not a Switch. Sw. Is that his name? Switch? The guy with all the screens.

[B]

Oh, you meant, like, the character name. I thought you meant, like, actor names.

[A]

I think it's Switch. Okay, we'll go with it. I need to know how to operate a helicopter. And he goes, oh, yeah. He bangs away at all the things and he clicks things. Everything's bouncing around.

[B]

That's what I am on this show. The smart guy.

[A]

Yeah, there you go. The guy. What do they call it in Spider Man? The guy in the chair. The fat kid. His friend wanted to be Alfred.

[B]

Oh, no, that's Batman wanted to be.

[A]

The guy in the chair. See, you're gonna do this on purpose and you're gonna derail me because you're Instead of yes, and you're doing no but I like no but better, though.

[B]

I'm more of a fan of no.

[A]

But for your improv rules.

[B]

100% no.

[A]

You have it tattooed on your arm how important it is to you.

[B]

But I got two T's in it, though.

[A]

Nobody really understood what you meant by it in class.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So I'm excited that Kyler Gordon may be possibly coming back. It's more the idea of it, the idea of getting some back and the energy from that. But there's going to be no Willis Reed triumphant return here.

[B]

Kirk Gibson, home run.

[A]

Here he comes. And now the Bears are fine. He can't improve the pass rush. You know, really the bigger thing and the tougher decision is on Jalen Johnson. The tougher call is if he's bad at the moment, you got to think about playing Tyreek Stevenson, who didn't play at all.

[B]

And it was deliberate. So.

[A]

And we'll see how they respond. Because we got to wait until Thursday to talk to Dennis Allen. Like we've been talking about how Jacob Brisker is like, yeah, we were in way too much, man. We got out, schemed. They were running all those rubs and picks and we were in, man. And we did not respond to it.

[B]

Get anything out of that?

[A]

No, but it's at some point like, hey, Dennis, this is what this guy said and what is he right? What?

[B]

Yeah. We'll never get any answer out of.

[A]

That time for that. We moved on.

[B]

I would love to hear the thought process behind that, but we'll never, we'll never find that out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Dan. The Bears on their offense this year did set a new franchise record with 47 touchdowns scored.

[A]

Cool. Yeah.

[B]

Little. Little neat little Ben Johnson note for his first year, previous record for the franchise was 45. Bears scored 47 this year.

[A]

They hold a new record now for 17 games.

[B]

For 17 games.

[A]

It doesn't matter.

[B]

That's the game.

[A]

It does matter.

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

It does matter.

[B]

It doesn't matter.

[A]

If you add a game, then the team previously set the record has a reasonable claim.

[B]

What I would rather do, I would rather look at the number of possessions each team had those seasons. They set those records. That's more important to me, the number of games.

[A]

Well, but that's variable depending on how if their defense can get the ball back.

[B]

Because to me it just says about the efficiency of your offense, which I think Ben Johnson is more concerned with. But something we'll get into on progress.

[A]

Oh, that's why you got to run the ball. Yeah. You got to keep your own defense off the field.

[B]

We'll talk about it.

[A]

Okay. That's, that's really what I. The story of this game, I think, is the less the Bears defense plays, the better. And I don't mean like give up a 92 yard touchdown every time.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But you've got to protect your team from your own defense.

[B]

So. Packers time of possession, six minutes with four Touchdowns. That's not good.

[A]

No, that's. That's. Yeah, because that's why. Time of possession.

[B]

Off the field, Dan. That's what you wanted.

[A]

Jay, you said, get off the field. They ran right down and scored on the first damn play. I'm over here having Gatorade. All right.

[B]

What you asked for.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't quite mean it like that, but thank you. It's a fun week. It's a fun week to see how the Bears behave amid all of this craziness, and it's already started, that I'm getting that feeling of. It's not quite. There's the phenomenon of goal gradient, and it isn't quite that. But you know how on a long car trip, as you're getting closer to your destination, it feels like it's stretching out on you like the last, as you're going to whatever it is, your lake house somewhere. Like, you've been going for eight hours, and at the end of the trip, you're like, oh, how many? It's another turn and another turn up this dirt road and that dirt road.

[B]

We gotta get there yet.

[A]

Like, we're here, but we're not here. We've driven into the town that it says. And even, you know, the Google Maps is saying that it's like, it still feels so far away. It's going to be like that on Saturday.

[B]

That's like a drive to Taco Bell late at night. Just never gets there. It just keeps going and going. What'd you do? You do something last night? What'd you do last night?

[A]

What did you do something?

[B]

Did you order food?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What'd you get?

[A]

Taco Max.

[B]

Oh, did you really? We were.

[A]

Jason and I were watching the Bulls game, and then we were watching the college football national championship game.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And he's like, I didn't think I was hungry, and now I'm hungry. Can we order something? And I said, look, I said, if you go to Taco Bell and go to the drive Through, I'll buy. You fly, I'll buy.

[B]

Don't you always buy anyway?

[A]

Well, I don't know. Sometimes if he's coming home, he might buy him something. I said, I'll get whatever you want. He'll get like, 30 tacos or something. He'll sit on the coffee table, just kill it. He's like, no. He's like, come on, let's get real tacos. Because that got me hungry for tacos. And then we were watching Three Amigos. Yeah. And you know the scene where Chevy Jessica do you have anything besides Mexican food? And we're just like, you know, this is a perfect movie to enjoy with tacos. So we ordered tacos.

[B]

How many did you get?

[A]

I got the taco Max. We each got the three taco dinner for the taco Max on Montrose.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

We got the guacamole and chips. And then the great thing about their three taco dinner, they give you all three of their salsas. The smoked, the green, and the. And the red. And I got all three. The lengua.

[B]

Oh, you got three is a tongue for people out there who don't know what language.

[A]

Yeah, it's slow cooked beef tongue.

[B]

Beef tongue.

[A]

And just with a little bit of onion and cilantro. You don't do, like, the Americano.

[B]

Onion cilantro.

[A]

Just onion cilantro. Yeah. And their salsas and. Oh, my God, it was ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. And then. And then I polished off a pint of ice cream, which I. I want to get to. Remind me to circle back to that.

[B]

I will.

[A]

Please do.

[B]

Yeah. There was a day last week, kids were still off of school, and it was, like, almost 9, and Hank was. He had already had, like, a second dinner. And so, like, 9 o', clock, he's like, I'm still hungry. Can we order tacos? I'm like, sure. So we ordered from our. Our local place I always get is called Tacos del Rey de Oro. It's my favorite.

[A]

Tacos of the Golden King.

[B]

Yes, the best.

[A]

That sounds grand.

[B]

Oh, it's so good.

[A]

These are tacos of the Golden King. Yep. Ha ha.

[B]

Not just the king. The Golden King. So. And they're. They're the best in town. So order those. And yeah, he. He gets them. I got him into the. The onion cilantro. Only now he does the asada, which is onion cilantro. Because at first it was like lettuce and cheese and like. No, no, no, we're not. I'm like, try it this way.

[A]

It's. It's a taco.

[B]

So I had one, and I was like, here, try a bite of mine. He's like, oh, that's good. I go, yeah, that's how you're gonna get them from now on. Just onion cilantro.

[A]

Yes, because that way you can taste the corn in a good tortilla and the actual meat and the salsa, which is the best. Yes. That's what you want to taste.

[B]

Yeah. Next time you come up and go fishing by me, we'll grab some tacos over there.

[A]

It's okay.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

Stuff. Yeah. And like, that's the kind of craving, too, that, like, you're. Nothing else is gonna. You've gotta. You've gotta get that bullseye. That one.

[B]

That's the real deal stuff. But, I mean, Taco Bell's not beneath me. Don't think.

[A]

But it's. But you don't crave tacos and go to Taco Bell. You crave Taco Bell. Correct.

[B]

It's a different. You're right. No, that's 100% correct.

[A]

It's a different. I don't look at it as the same genre.

[B]

If I want tacos, I'll get tacos Del Ray de Oro. If I want Taco Bell, you get.

[A]

Yeah, it's a different craving. It's a different thing.

[B]

That's a good catch.

[A]

You know what I mean? So I hope Kyler Gordon is back. I don't. And I hope he blasts through any of my minimal expectations.

[B]

Oh, I hope so, too. I mean, I'm not going to rain on your.

[A]

Dominates the game and in every phase. I don't know. You know, it's just.

[B]

Yeah. I don't want to rate on your Kyle Kyler Gordon parade, but it's just.

[A]

I'm not having a parade. I'm doing the opposite. I'm saying, please don't think that he's some magic panacea that is just going to be like. Well, once he's back, everything's going to be fine. You still can't rush the passer.

[B]

Yeah. Because with cj, GJ in concussion protocol, that. That lasts a week. I mean, so you're. You're pressing it right up there if he'll even be able to play. So I don't know.

[A]

And I generally would doubt. I'm always erring on the side of caution. I don't. Because second impact syndrome is no joke. You don't want to mess with that. I did watch the second half or like the fourth quarter of Illinois State and Montana State list, and I wasn't going to. And then it was, what, 21 to nothing. So I'm flipping with the Bulls. And. And that was a Bulls game. Would just suck the soul out of you the way they're that roster right now.

[B]

And, oh, I lost also, by the way, in that I. I was getting 11 and a half.

[A]

We were watching it close. Yeah, I know. It came down to the wire.

[B]

They lose by 14.

[A]

Yeah. Kept. Kept us in it 101. Yeah. Yeah, we were there. But they just don't have. They don't have anything right Now, I.

[B]

Thought they might stay within 10.

[A]

They don't have the guys.

[B]

Like, I would consider that a win.

[A]

They lost by 10 tomorrow night. They're in danger of getting motorboated. Motorboated by that Pistons team.

[B]

That's.

[A]

And they're not even at full strength either. But that's. That's quite a squad. They've. They've got something going. There's number one in the East. And by the way, we are recording. Organization wins. Organizations win championships today. So I want to talk a little bit about that, about what the Pistons are doing and the model that, you know what you. If you actually care about draft picks and if you actually have a vision and patience, you can build something that matters in the league. If you have people who know what they're doing, it's pretty amazing to see at their depths. And even then when we were watching, they're like, boy, they got some talent. They have no concept what they're doing, but they got some guys out there. And even the bad teams, you can see when they've got guys. Whatever the Bulls are doing is not that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right now.

[B]

All right. So you're watching college football. Last night I was Illinois State and Montana.

[A]

I became an Illinois State fan for the game. Sure. Because of Rangy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And grody. And like, the guys that, you know, you just. You want them to be happy because they're friends of yours. You just, you know that they're all excited. And I couldn't figure out it was bothering me. Football.

[B]

They played there.

[A]

No, I didn't play there.

[B]

They went.

[A]

Oh, they went there.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That's one of the first college campus I knew.

[B]

They went there. Yeah.

[A]

I thought it meant, like, one of the first college campuses. I remember going to. We had a speech tournament there. And I remember going to the student union. Like, they have a. Was it a Burger King or. So they have a Burger King and there's a McDonald's and their student union.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

This is college. This is what college is. And they also. That may be the first time I really enjoyed the video game. Gauntlet was there on camp.

[B]

Oh, yeah. I remember it very well. I love that game.

[A]

It was Valkyrie Warrior. Quarter after quarter of that.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Quarters in there.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Your life force is in danger.

[B]

Love that game.

[A]

Warrior is about to die. Damn it. More quarters. That was my first experience with that machine.

[B]

So if Rangy played football, what do you think? I'm like third, fourth string, bad punter, maybe kicker.

[A]

No.

[B]

If the coach ever needed him, his helmet, he couldn't find his helmet. Probably he would know where his helmet is.

[A]

I don't know where my. I don't know.

[B]

With his glasses on.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Talking to girls in the front row.

[A]

Always played with the glasses on.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. Like Chuck Muncie. He had the rec specs or something. Yeah. Yeah. I. I can't. I still can't find my helmet. You know, I have trouble finding my.

[B]

As. He's holding it. Yeah.

[A]

Isn't that your helmet? I. I don't think so. I just picked this one up.

[B]

Box.

[A]

So why were their shoulders so pointy on Illinois State? Do their uniforms not fit or do their shoulder pads not fit? Their uniforms?

[B]

Maybe they went for the extra tight. Maybe they dried them and they shouldn't have.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe they had spikes on.

[A]

Something weird. No. There's something odd going on with the way their uniforms fit their shoulder pads. But it's nice to see the big crowd and everybody really caring about these two teams and how much is invested and how much emotion.

[B]

Second half was fun.

[A]

It's their national championship. That's what they.

[B]

Play time they'd ever played for a national championship. And I think second time for Montana State as well. But they'd actually won their first time around.

[A]

I'm worried that their coach might be an idiot.

[B]

Why did you.

[A]

I couldn't. First of all, they run the football at the end of regulation for no reason. There's six seconds left. And they run an actual running play where somebody could get hurt or they could fumble, maybe throw the ball, Neil. Either. Pick one. Either you're chucking.

[B]

If you're going to run one, chuck it.

[A]

Either you're chucking it all the way down the field and you've got some sort of little pitchback play going, or you take a knee. That was weird. And then you've got him. First of all, the guy had the interception for the Natty. Yes, he had it. It was in his hands. All you got to do. Hold. Hold. Football. Your national champions. Right. So he drops it.

[B]

That was on third and 10.

[A]

That was third and 10. He drops it.

[B]

And this is in overtime, by the way, if you didn't see it.

[A]

4Th and 10.

[B]

This is for the.

[A]

Yeah. 4th and 10. It can be a complete pass as long as it's short of the end zone. Yes. All you got to do. I would rush three, drop eight, put eight guys with their heels on that goal line. They zero blitzed. What the hell are you doing?

[B]

Zero blitz. And it couldn't have been an easier play to throw.

[A]

It's A pitch and catch use 0 blitz on 4th and 10 to win the national championship. Not even, not just that. Even if you get home, the possibility of a roughing the passer, like. And maybe that's more of an NFL worry now. Yeah. Like, every time you get a sack, you're like, oh, was that sack okay? Or did he put his helmet somewhere? He shouldn't have put it. He tackled him too hard. Like, what are you doing? Doing Right.

[B]

Then you get his. His. His number one wide receiver covered by a safety.

[A]

What are you doing?

[B]

Yeah, it was not a good.

[A]

He's looking for one guy.

[B]

Oh, he realizes he was looking at that guy.

[A]

It's a blitz. Where's my guy? My guy's over there. Touchdown. Extra point. And what happened on that extra point and when.

[B]

When he, when he broke his route on the. In the end zone, there was about a five or six yard situation.

[A]

It wasn't even.

[B]

It wasn't even close.

[A]

It wasn't even close. He was wide open. Why are you zero blitzing? I don't. And guys don't get fired, right?

[B]

I don't think so.

[A]

I mean, nobody really cares enough. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, you made the championship game as isu. Second time ever.

[A]

You had it.

[B]

I know it was there for you. Yeah, but that. But more importantly, you missed the extra point. So you give up a touchdown and the extra point wins it. Like, that's brutal. Like, just to sit through that.

[A]

I know.

[B]

Knowing that this kick goes through. We're done. And that's the championship.

[A]

An extra point. I've never. The drama of the call. The kick is up. It is good. It's a college extra point.

[B]

I know, but still.

[A]

Championship.

[B]

National championship. I thought it was a good call. And they actually said, like, do you know, whatever you do, just don't. Don't. Zero blitz. They even said it before the snap, like, you can't bring the house. They said you can't do it.

[A]

It's 4th and 10. They have to score a touchdown.

[B]

Well, they could have got a first down, you know.

[A]

That's right. Where were they? They were on the.

[B]

They were like on the 12 or 12.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Technically, they could have gotten. Yeah. Because it wasn't fourth and goal.

[A]

Just be. Have enough guys back there to tackle and cover.

[B]

Yeah, I just. I didn't get it at all. Again, it wasn't even close. Wasn't even close. I mean, you get. You get the number one guy, he's looking for covered by a safety and he just. He breaks his route and he had no Chance.

[A]

I saw that Bob Pulford passed away at age 89. And we're reading everything. All you need to know about Bob Pulford is that from like the late 70s into the 2000s, he was there, and he was the Blackhawks, and he was doing something. He was either coach or general manager, Interim coach, interim general manager. Underneath Bill Wirtz, he was pretty much the hockey guy. He was Bill Wirtz's hockey guy. And he would do the hockey things whenever they needed somebody. And they'd have coaches come and go and general managers come and go, but they always had pulley. They could always default to him. It was like a run flat tire that even if you had. You drove over a nail, you were okay, because whatever your technology that was in there would get you through before you had to get it repaired. And that's what. That's what. That's what Bob Pulford was. He was always there doing Blackhawks thing. What? You know what his legacy is?

[B]

His nickname?

[A]

No, no. And by the way, that is one of the faults of Heated Rivalry is they use everybody's full last name all the time.

[B]

Oh, they don't do hockey. There's no way that's part of hockey.

[A]

The guy's name is Hollander. Yeah, he's Holly or Holly or Hals or something. And then. And then Rosenoff.

[B]

Rosie.

[A]

Rosie Rosa, for sure. They would not. That's the only thing that they don't get right is there's no way they would ever call somebody by their whole last name unless their whole last name was one syllable.

[B]

Maybe you can leave like a Yelp review.

[A]

Heated Rivalry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I do have to watch the final. Have you finished or. You know, I only watched first two.

[B]

Oh, you still haven't gone. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, so I'm going to. I'm going to watch more. I'm looking forward.

[B]

So you really haven't committed to it yet. You just. You kind of put your toe in the water.

[A]

I watched two full episodes. That was like two hours.

[B]

Yeah, and that was like 10 days ago.

[A]

I had football and basketball to watch. I'm the one watching these dumbass Bulls games. So you don't have to. So get off my ass. Oh, don't act. Oh, I'm doing this for you.

[B]

Whatever. Yes. You're not watching them. Because I don't. You watch because you want to.

[A]

I'm doing it for the people.

[B]

Don't even.

[A]

I'm doing it for the people.

[B]

You're so full of it.

[A]

But here is. You don't do anything for the People, here is. Here is the. The legacy of Bob Pulford.

[B]

Okay, what is it?

[A]

Hockey voice. Oh, think about it when we do.

[B]

It's Bob Pulford.

[A]

Like the worst family in the organization.

[B]

100% correct.

[A]

Huggy. That's Pulley.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[A]

It is a warmed over version of what started as a Bob Pulford impersonation. That's funny. The thick Canadian accent and the gravelly voice being the voice of hockey no matter what. Caner dump in puck, put puck on net. Sometimes puck go in net. You know, all of those things that we make fun of about hockey and hockey culture and that sort of gruff Canadianism. Go to cottage after season. He's in hospital. We'll rejoin team. We'll rejoin organization after hospital. Yeah.

[B]

So as Bob Pulford.

[A]

That will be the Pulford legacy as far as I'm concerned. Because that always would be hockey voice.

[B]

I'm sure his family's proud.

[A]

And then there was that great Tribune profile that was done of him that Terry and I made fun of. Do you remember that? It was like going back to Pulley's house in wherever, Ontario. And it was this tiny little home. Like, every room had a blender in the back and there was a little. There was like a kid that was sitting in. There were these just unexplained things around it. And it was never explained.

[B]

You like smoothies?

[A]

Here's Bob Pulver. Why does every room have a blender? Just in case. Time for a daiquiri.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Or. Yeah.

[A]

Daiquiri. Emergency Pina coladas.

[B]

Big grasshopper. Who knows? I don't know.

[A]

You never know when you need a blended drink. Fruity island drink. I don't know, but it's a memory of mine. So, Rip.

[B]

How old was he? He's 89. Oh, he was just 89.

[A]

He is only 89. He will be at.

[B]

So he was in his 60s when we were doing this stuff.

[A]

Jesus. I think he's always been 89. We will be at funeral after he.

[B]

Went from 50 right to 89 and just stayed there for a couple decades.

[A]

After funeral, we will be at wake and then when we go over at church and then ice fishing and then at funeral. So cool stuff. Did you know Haagen Dazs doesn't have a full pint of ice cream in their pints?

[B]

Well, I do now. Yes. Yeah, I know. I know. Only you. That's it. Only you.

[A]

Because I've decided I found a benefit to shrinkflation.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

This shrinkflation apparently occurred in 2009.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

It's been 17 years of a Haagen Dazs pint. Only being 14 ounces, I did not know that. I learned that today, and I learned last night. It was the first time I really looked because I just absolutely housed Haagen Dazs dulce de leche.

[B]

Okay, that's a good one.

[A]

You know what it's like? Know what it tastes like? If you took just the filling from a three Musketeers and made an ice cream out of it, that'd be good. Like, just that whatever that nougat is inside of three Musketeers.

[B]

Yeah. How many of these are you eating now? Like, is this, like, a nightly.

[A]

No.

[B]

Thing.

[A]

Okay. No, but after spicy tacos.

[B]

Oh, yeah. You always liked ice cream after spicy food.

[A]

I got that from Terry. How many ice cream.

[B]

How many times have you done this in the last week or so? Two weeks, let's say.

[A]

Oh, a full pint.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is the only time I've done.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Because usually I have the tub of.

[B]

Yeah, your tub of peppermint.

[A]

Yeah. And I'll do half of a tub of peppermint, which I think is about the same thing.

[B]

Yeah. No, but the way you were saying it, I thought you've been doing this.

[A]

No, but here's the thing. They've been on sale, so I bought three. All right. So they were.

[B]

I knew there was something to it.

[A]

Yeah, the Haagen Dazs had been on. It was because I got.

[B]

I got to be honest, I didn't. I didn't want to. Because you were really excited about it. I want to damper your mood. I was impressed that you bought Haagen Dazs in the first place.

[A]

Why?

[B]

I thought that was a little too pricey for you.

[A]

No, no, no. I don't. I don't cheap out an ice cream. Ever since our guy sent that note about what you're getting with cheap ice cream, you're not getting an advantage because there's more air.

[B]

You know, I did that, too. The next time I went to the store, I grabbed the shit off the bottom and I was. Yeah. He wasn't lying.

[A]

No, because it's. It's air. You're paying for air.

[B]

All right, so you'll go cheap on your own wardrobe, but never on ice cream.

[A]

Well, if I were, I don't need more wardrobe. I don't need, like, more shirts.

[B]

I don't. I don't mean. I don't mean the.

[A]

I don't get quantity.

[B]

I mean the quality.

[A]

Hey, wait till you See my new fishing shirts.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So that you got on sale, dude, that no one else wanted?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Those okay.

[A]

Yes, they came in.

[B]

Thanks for making my point.

[A]

Okay. Can I. Quick, quick story.

[B]

Yes, sir.

[A]

While we're doing this, just a quick story. So I ordered these, the thin hoodies, the fishing shirts. And they've got the UV material. I love them. And so I was online and I got this email in my trash. Email whatever from. It was at Dick's Sporting Goods. Whatever. It's like, hey, check out our special end of year flash sale. I'm like, okay, I'll bite.

[B]

Right?

[A]

You got me on this one, Dix. You got me, Dick.

[B]

Spoke your love language.

[A]

I'll click there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I do, and I see that the fishing church, because the algorithm knows it. It's like, oh, he's back. Let's sell him quarter ounce cylindrical drop shot weights.

[B]

Yeah. Because you click on dicks a lot. You're good.

[A]

That's another story. Friend of mine, when his five year old wanted a baseball bat and he went to the computer and in the search bar just typed in dicks.

[B]

Oh boy. Yeah, you gotta know better than that.

[A]

Well, dad. Oh, yes.

[B]

Oh, the kid did it. The kid did it.

[A]

Yeah, the five year old did it. So I click on it and I'm looking around and it's trying to sell me all my usual stuff, you know, my zoom baby brush hogs and the green pumpkin magic.

[B]

Love those.

[A]

Yep. And then I see the shirts and it's all the colors nobody wants, right? It's all the colors. It didn't sell. $48 shirt for 12 bucks.

[B]

Oh, that's a great deal.

[A]

Great deal.

[B]

So I got one that's like 20 bucks off.

[A]

I got a pea green one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it is, it is pea green.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And I love it. And I put it on and I had these glasses on and I put the hood on and I. And I, I walk into the bedroom. Beth is sitting there and I walk in with the hood and the glasses.

[B]

And I went, sexy time. No, no.

[A]

I said, picture this, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Pea green hood over my head. I went, heigh ho, Kermit the Frog here to talk to you about the letter P. And she's like, off. No, don't wear it. She goes, do not wear that on your show. And I said, oh, I think you should wear your show. Of course I am. And I got tangerine orange and one that it was some name of blue I'd never heard before. So I'm all set. I'm all set. Where was I going with this anyway? Haagenaz. Don't feel bad if you eat a pint. That's the, the moral of this story is you can plow through a whole container of Haagen Dazs and you feel like shit. And you're just like, oh man, it's.

[B]

Slightly less than a pint.

[A]

It's not a pint. You didn't eat a pint. You just had a serving. Well, it's you at a reasonable, so you didn't need a pint.

[B]

Does it say one serving or container on the back?

[A]

I know what a serving is for me. Okay, So I got, I got dulce, I got pistachio and I got coffee. And I'm going to go back for more. I think I do love pistachio. That's my favorite. Oh, then they're their pistachios just out of this world. It's outstanding.

[B]

My favorite one.

[A]

Yeah. So I enjoyed that and I'm not going to apologize.

[B]

You shouldn't.

[A]

Damn it. I'm not.

[B]

Eat one a night.

[A]

No, no, I'm not going to do one a night. But it is good. The football playoffs are here and my bookie is where you turn bets into bankroll. Everybody's betting. The NFL is in full do or die mode. College football down to the last teams and the super bowl is just around the corner. And maybe the Bears will be in it. If there ever was a time to get in the game, it's right now. My bookie makes it ridiculously easy to play and especially like NBA stuff. College basketball is everywhere. Everywhere you look, there's something where you can find an advantage. You can find a market inefficiency. One account, one wallet. Bet the spread live, bet the second half during commercials. You can hit the casino. It's all in one place and you have the power and you have our promo code. Go to MyBookie AG now and you have what I'm about to give you. Listen up. Write it down. The promo code. DBU for the initials to this show Dan Bernstein unfiltered. And then your first bet is covered up to 500 bucks. If it doesn't hit, you've got the bet back. Bonus token that you can use and then you run it back up to $500. So don't just watch the playoffs. You can make them pay for you bet. Anything, anytime, anywhere. Only at my bookie I saw this note and maybe this entertained only me. Maybe it didn't. But did you see that last week that Brigitte Bardot Passed away.

[B]

I did not miss that.

[A]

The first French sex kitten is what she was called. Brigitte Bardot, who had some troublesome thoughts on certain people in the world. Not a great human being. She dedicated a lot of her life to helping and saving animals while having some really horrible thoughts about certain human beings. But that's not why you called her. Death means that there are three people remaining alive who were name checked in Billy Joel's song We Didn't Start the Fire. The song was released in 1989. There are only. Can you name the three living people from that song now that Brigitte Bardot has shed her mortal coil?

[B]

There'd be no way I could tell you because I absolutely, positively hate that song.

[A]

Well, I think a lot of reasonable people do.

[B]

With an absolute passion.

[A]

It's not good.

[B]

It's not good. It's one of the worst songs ever made. Well, so I have no idea who's even in the song.

[A]

I would say one of their three living one. I had no idea.

[B]

You have the three in front of you that are living.

[A]

Yeah, okay, I do. One I knew was alive. The other one I thought had been dead for 20 years.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Who's that? Chubby Checker.

[B]

He's not dead.

[A]

No.

[B]

Get out of here. Chubby Checker is dead.

[A]

No, he's not. He's so dead. No, he's not.

[B]

Yes, he is.

[A]

No, he's not. He's 84. Only. He is not 80. He's like 120.

[B]

He's still alive.

[A]

He's not. He's only 84. Wow.

[B]

He still is alive.

[A]

I mean, don't confuse him with Fats Domino, after whom he was named.

[B]

He's been married since 1964.

[A]

God bless him. Right? Yeah. Fats Domino died in 2017 at age 89. He was born in 1928.

[B]

Chubby Checker is still alive?

[A]

Yes. Wow.

[B]

All right, who else?

[A]

Bob Dylan.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Bob Dylan is still alive. And Bernie Getz, the New York subway vigilante. Do you remember Bernard Getz?

[B]

I don't.

[A]

Bernard Getz, who shot four kids on the subway, claimed that it was in self defense. And I think. I think one. Right.

[B]

Okay. See? All right, so that's a guy to put in your song.

[A]

Sounds good, I guess. He's 78 and Bob Dylan is. He's 106. I don't know how many.

[B]

How many people were, like, name checked in this song? I don't even know.

[A]

Oh, you want the full list of people?

[B]

Well, you have to tell me each person you could Is there. Do you have a number?

[A]

Oh, God, it's a lot. No, it's Harry Truman, Doris Day, Johnny Ray, Walter Winchell, Joe DiMaggio, Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon. I mean, it's all the way down. Julius and Ethel Rosenberg.

[B]

The whole song is just names, pretty much.

[A]

Sugar Ray Robinson, Marlon Brando, Dwight Eisenhower, Rocky Marciano, Liberace. Stalin makes good cherries.

[B]

That guy.

[A]

Rocky Marciano.

[B]

Yeah. Love those cherries. Sunday. Yeah.

[A]

A lot of people don't realize he made a lot of money off of those.

[B]

Good stuff.

[A]

Yeah, he did Mickey Mantle, Grace Kelly, Nikita, Khrushchev. Yeah, it's. You can have the song. It's absolutely. It's all you.

[B]

It's terrible. Like that. That song ranks lower on my list than U2, but different.

[A]

A song and a band are different things. If you did individual U2 songs.

[B]

Slightly above. Slightly above. We didn't start the fire. Every U2 song.

[A]

Every one.

[B]

Garbage. Hot trash.

[A]

Okay, well, I guess we're gonna leave people with your hot take there. That. That's. Oh.

[B]

I've been a YouTube hater for years, and I've been vocal about it, too.

[A]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not. Yeah. Not saying. You're lying.

[B]

Yeah. They did a concert in my basement last week.

[A]

You didn't go?

[B]

I didn't show up.

[A]

Didn't bother.

[B]

I went down, told him to quiet down.

[A]

Knock it off. Yeah, the Edge.

[B]

I thought his name was Fedge. Shit. That's why I didn't respond to me. I kept saying fedge, Turn that shit down.

[A]

Like Fadget Johnson. Thaddeus Young.

[B]

I can't believe Chubby checker is only 84.

[A]

I know. Wow. Yeah, he got started very, very young, and he was like, the first kind of, like, meme artist when you realize how he got started. He was impersonating other singers.

[B]

Like, this picture looks like he's pre teen. Like a preteen. Yeah, but he was singing.

[A]

It was. It was like an Instagram guy he was making. Apparently, Chubby Checker was good at impersonating other singers, and he did a novelty bit, and it got into the hands of Dick Clark, and Dick Clark thought it was hilarious of how well he impersonated these other singers. So he sent it around as, like, a Christmas card in the late 50s. I'm telling you, Chubby Checkers, Discovery and Rise was no different than somebody off of YouTube or Instagram or that kind of thing.

[B]

He's still performing. Like, you can get tickets. He's still doing shows.

[A]

My guess is he's Doing the twist.

[B]

He is. Oh, wait a second.

[A]

And let's twist again.

[B]

Saturday, January 10, 8pm the show is for $35 for Kings Point residence.

[A]

But it's an old folks home.

[B]

It sounds like it.

[A]

Hey, it's a gig, man. You can get up and still do a little twist on your.

[B]

With your walker still a gig.

[A]

Why not? Good for him.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you remember year he was featured in the White Sox ad campaign? I think it was 84.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I want you to check that. Do a search for Chubby Checker. White Sox.

[B]

Seriously?

[A]

Yeah. As a kid. I believe the ad campaign in 84 was. Let's do it again like we did last summer.

[B]

Oh, that sounds familiar.

[A]

And they got Chubby Checker like in the bleachers in a. In a white socks. Like win an ugly T shirt or something.

[B]

Yeah, I remember. I think you're right on that.

[A]

I remember. I want to. That was one of the worst baseball summers of a White Sox fan's life.

[B]

84 was.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

I was busy watching the Cubs.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, that's. That was part of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Was. If you were a White Sox fan and you were around Cubs fans to have this, all of a sudden, oh, my gosh, the Cubs were America's team.

[B]

Yeah. Because they got lost to the orioles in 83. Right. And then they went on to win the series and then 84. The Cubs.

[A]

84. Everyone got excited about the White Sox and they were shite. They were so bad.

[B]

Let's do it again.

[A]

Let's do it again like we did last summer, except not the same at all.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Let's not. Instead of winning. Ugly. It was just. They did it just without the winning and they just got to the ugly. That's gonna do it for Dan Bernstein Unfiltered on this Tuesday. Got a jam packed forward. Progress coming your way. We are brought to you in partnership with my book Dan Bernstein Unfiltered. Unfiltered on three.

[B]

One, two, Sports.