Chicago Bears Lose | Chicago Bulls Hot Start | LSU Drama

Summary

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered – Episode Summary

Episode Title: Chicago Bears Lose | Chicago Bulls Hot Start | LSU Drama
Date: October 27, 2025
Host: Dan Bernstein
Co-Host: Matt Abbatacola

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Main Theme

This episode of Dan Bernstein Unfiltered dives into the fallout from a rough Chicago Bears loss in Baltimore, examines the Chicago Bulls' unexpectedly hot start to the NBA season, and unpacks the behind-the-scenes intrigue of the LSU/Brian Kelly split. Dan brings his signature no-filter perspective, with Matt chiming in, as they break down what matters most to Chicago sports fans and sprinkle in humor, honest frustration, and a few wisecracks about discount groceries and bakery runs.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bears Loss in Baltimore – Where’s the Progress?

[06:37 – 20:22]

• General Sentiment: Dan and Matt struggle to find any positives from the Bears' ugly defeat, agreeing the team “just being bad at football” (06:37).

  • Dan Bernstein: “I’m still trying to figure out what happened in that Bears game. Other than the Bears just being bad at football. There was nothing good to take away from that game.” ([06:37])
  • Kyro Santos' couple of field goals are noted as the only bright spot, but otherwise, it's a bleak assessment.

• On Caleb Williams:

  • Both hosts describe this as a “step back” for the rookie quarterback, with Dan comparing Williams to Zach LaVine—skilled but lacking control and rhythm.
  • Dan Bernstein: “His game doesn’t have any pace. His game doesn’t have any rhythm to it. He reminds me of Zach LaVine ... you can see the guy’s super talented but doesn’t quite have it yet.” ([13:08])
  • They discuss the non-linearity of a rookie QB’s development and caution against writing off Williams too early.

• Coaching & Philosophy:

  • Dan outlines his “win because of / win with / lose with / lose because of” continuum for evaluating quarterbacks:
    • “I thought yesterday was pretty close to a ‘lose because of’ game. And that’s a data point you don’t want…” ([15:39])

• Big-Picture Perspective:

  • The need for patience—acknowledging that the Bears’ roster is still incomplete and that Williams isn’t yet the kind of QB you “win because of.”
  • Matt adds: The Vikings game is the only one he’s really mad about, otherwise 4–3 is acceptable after seven games.

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2. LSU Brian Kelly Drama — Boardroom Warfare & Buyout Games

[22:26 – 36:40]

• Dan’s Take on the Firing:

  • Believes LSU AD Scott Woodward “set a trap” for Brian Kelly to reduce the $53M buyout, skillfully engineering a “mutual separation” rather than a simple firing.
  • Dan Bernstein: “I think Woodward said, well, how do we get this? If he walks in the office and I just say, ‘Brian, you’re fired,’ we’re on the hook for every bit. I think he gave him what he knew was an untenable offer.” ([26:55])

• Negotiation Insight:

  • Details from The Athletic suggest Woodward pressured Kelly to fire key staff, knowing Kelly would resist, thus shifting the “turf” from outright firing to negotiation.

• Matt’s Reaction:

  • Thought Kelly should have simply demanded to be fired and collected the buyout, criticizing any coach who would “get played like that.”
    • Matt Abbatacola: “If I’m a head coach...and the AD says, you need to fire these guys...if he says, listen, either do this or I’m going to fire you, I immediately, as a head coach, say, fine, fire me.” ([28:33])

• Behind-the-Scenes Manipulation:

  • Dan suspects Woodward had Kelly hire “spies” from previous LSU staffs for back-channel information, which ultimately undermined Kelly’s control.

• Wishes for Kelly’s Next Chapter:

  • Jokingly hopes Kelly ends up at Penn State only for a “sinkhole” to open up and swallow the whole stadium—an example of Dan’s acerbic humor ([34:55]).

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3. Chicago Bulls Hot Start & Season Outlook

[42:07 – 46:38]

• Team Identity & Surprises:

  • Bulls open 2–0, showing more effort (“playing with high pace”), but Dan and Matt are both cautious and critical.
  • Dan’s perennial Bulls skepticism: “How many guys on the roster have you asked the question, what does this guy do? Like, it’s too many.” ([43:53])
  • Notes Patrick Williams finally playing with urgency after being benched: “You need that every day. Just play hard. Just try.” ([43:29])

• Concerns:

  • Lack of rim protection and skepticism that the Bulls are anywhere close to legitimate contention.
  • They pledge not to “doom spiral” all year even though they recognize there’s “no path to get a superstar that makes [the Bulls] championship material.” ([46:11])

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4. World Series & Sports Media Riffs

[49:53 – 51:52]

• Quick Hits:
  • Looking forward to Scherzer/Glasnow pitching matchup.
  • Dan vents about John Smoltz’s commentary: “Every time I flip over, it’s John Smoltz going on a long-winded explanation why swinging hard is better than not...Like, seriously, you’re giving me a treatise on this new thing you discovered about swinging hard?” ([51:01])

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5. Discount Bakery Adventures & Grocer Chat

[53:02 – end]

• Comic Relief:
  • Dan and Matt share laughs about the day-old bakery section at Mariano’s, with Dan enthusiastically reviewing a limited-time Stan’s Donuts x Affy Tapple caramel-apple donut:
    • “It’s rich because it’s a vanilla butter caramel that essentially has a little donut in it.” ([56:53])
  • The segment provides levity and classic Chicago “guy talk” about shopping for deals and feeding big families.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Caleb Williams:

  • “His game doesn’t have any pace...He’s still being buffeted about by the winds of the game. Or it’s like a jazz musician...really clearly skilled at the instrument but doesn’t understand when to move forward and when to move back.”
    — Dan Bernstein ([13:08])

• On LSU Firing Brian Kelly:

  • “If I’m a head football coach...and the AD says, you need to fire these guys...I immediately, as a head coach, say, fine, fire me. And then I stop talking or I walk out of the room with a fuck you again on the way out.”
    — Matt Abbatacola ([28:33])

• On Bulls Bench Players:

  • “How many guys on the roster have you asked the question, what does this guy do? Like, it’s too many. Whatever the number is, I’ve got too many.”
    — Matt Abbatacola ([43:53])

• On Smoltz’s Commentary:

  • “You’re giving me a treatise on, like, this new thing you discovered about swinging hard? It’s like the first thing the first caveman understood about his club.”
    — Dan Bernstein ([51:14])

• On Affy Tapple Donuts:

  • “It’s a vanilla butter caramel that essentially has a little donut in it. And I only got through one. I thought I was gonna eat two. And after one, I’m like, ooh, I’m saving these.”
    — Dan Bernstein ([56:53])

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Bear’s Game & Caleb Williams Discussion: [06:37 – 20:22]
• LSU/Brian Kelly Buyout Analysis: [22:26 – 36:40]
• Chicago Bulls Season Start: [42:07 – 46:38]
• World Series & Smoltz Rant: [49:53 – 51:52]
• Discount Grocery Chat, Affy Tapple Donut Review: [53:02 – end]

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Tone and Style

• Conversational, irreverent, and candid—true to Dan Bernstein’s “Unfiltered” brand.
• Mix of sharp sports analysis and Chicago guy “slice-of-life,” with playful jabs and honest frustration.

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For Fans New and Old

If you missed this episode, you’ll come away with an honest appraisal of where the Bears are in their supposed rebuilding year, an inside-baseball look at college football power plays, a reality check (and dash of hope) for Bulls fans—and maybe a craving for discount donuts.

Transcript

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[B]

Dan Bernstein.

[A]

Unfiltered Unfiltered on 312 Sports.

[B]

Welcome to Dan Bernstein Unfiltered. I'm Dan Bernstein. That is Matt Abaticola and today we are presented in partnership with my bookie. We are going to talk about that bear's ugliness yesterday in Baltimore. I also want to talk about the Brian Kelly firing because based on some of the reporting that I've read there is more to this story and there was I think some very deft negotiating done on the part of the university that is going perhaps underreported. You'll tell me if my instincts are correct on this one, but I think Brian Kelly might have gotten played and I'm happy about that by the way because I don't really have a rooting interest. I just kind of like watching blowholes like that and watching the whole system kind of burn and crash for that much money. Is always fun to see powerful people getting frightened and panicking and see people having to cut huge checks over the bounces of a ball. We've got World Series game three. It is now a best of five series. That is tonight just a little. Also a quick note on the fact that the Bulls are two and oh, they've got another game tonight against a really good team. That'll probably be telling. And then I discovered something I found in the very, very, very far back end of my grocery store when I was trying to go see what could be rescued from the day old baked goods. I stumbled onto something and it's a limited time product but I'm going to tell you about it.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Because I.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Because I ran into something that I thought was fascinating and DBU picks we've got.

[A]

Does your Mariano's have a special day old bakery section? They're away from the bakery.

[B]

There are two racks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Occasionally they'll roll one out into the bakery, but that's rare and usually they are on the very back wall in between the refrigerated sections by the.

[A]

By dairy and by like cheese or.

[B]

In between processed meat and dairy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

By the entrance to the back, the big swinging doors to the back where they, where they bring stuff out.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So it's usually right over there.

[A]

So you're always heading back to the Clarence Bakery Circle there.

[B]

Yeah, before I go usually to the regular bakery.

[A]

And you're looking for dessert specifically.

[B]

Unless I'm making like a panzanella salad or croutons, which is always there. That never disappoints.

[A]

Yeah, there's always bread. I always see bread. I, I never look at it as closely as you do to like look for desserts. But yeah, bread's always there.

[B]

And usually the fruit pies don't go stale. Some things go stale, but cherry pie, a peach pie, whatever they're trying to get rid of is always fine.

[A]

Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Good. I'm glad. I will convert all of you to the.

[A]

Yeah, I'm buying, I'm buying old meat now.

[B]

So I'm telling you it is. That's a different. If I do. If I did a podcast with the way grocery prices are, if I honestly did a, like a discount shopping tricks of the trade, I'm pretty good at it.

[A]

Oh, Dan, what are you talking about?

[B]

I don't mean like dumpster dive.

[A]

Grocery prices are down, gas is down, everything is cheap. Life is great. You just, you're, you're just seeing things that you want to see.

[B]

Okay, well, mister, I'm going to tell you about a $7 donut that I got for a dollar.

[A]

It's a better be a big fucking donut for $7.

[B]

Dude, it is.

[A]

Was it like cake size? All right, all right. Now, now I'm intrigued because I do love donuts.

[B]

I know. You see, I'm not a huge donut guy.

[A]

I love donuts. I know you do. I don't buy them often for myself. The kids always want them. But if there's a donut around, I'm pretty good for getting some.

[B]

I'm gonna tell you. But I got three right now because I thought I was gonna eat two and one was plenty. I almost didn't even finish one.

[A]

This coming from the guy who takes down king size candy bars.

[B]

I almost didn't fin. And it was after I went to McDonald's drive thru for dinner and did a basket of fries. I did two double cheeseburgers, a McChicken and I was ready for dessert and only could get one down.

[A]

Two doubles, one McChicken and a basket of fries.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. All right.

[B]

Yeah. And watching for watching. Watching Aaron Rodgers lose. It was great. Watching Aaron Rodgers just, well, faces that dude makes it his receivers.

[A]

Oh, I love that. That text you sent Von Aaron, that was really funny.

[B]

Ken Tremendous. That's Michael Shore's text.

[A]

That was really funny.

[B]

His tweet, actually. Oh, my God. I was laughing so hard. I said it right before I went to bed last night. This is Michael Schur, who goes by Ken Tremendous on Blue Sky. It must be so fun to play with Aaron Rodgers if you don't make literally every catch on every ball he throws to you, no matter how inaccurate he puts his hands on his hips and curses at you like an alcoholic gym teacher.

[A]

And then.

[B]

And after the game, you have to hear about how 5G causes IBS.

[A]

Yeah, that was funny. I saw that this morning when I woke up. I love, you know, waking up, you know, before 6:00am and seeing I have a text message and I'm like, all right, something bad happened. Or it's something from like Bernstein Bill. So I'm like, let's take a look. And there it was. And I chuckled out loud. It was good.

[B]

Yeah, we're on this three person thing with Bill. Bill from Capitol Hill.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Who is a. Who's just a major loon.

[A]

Complete loon.

[B]

And absolutely. Just. So it's either a laugh or it's something that makes you want to leave the country.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's. It's a laugh or something. I need to do a deep dive in to understand. And it's.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

It's so frustrating. It's like an hour later, I'm like, all right, now I get this. I can go back and read it again.

[B]

I'm still trying to figure out what happened in that Bears game. Other than the Bears just being bad at football. There was nothing good to take away from that game. I know that Roma Dunes, they put up some numbers and made some plays, but if you start looking, well, what were the positives? Find me one. Find me a positive from that game. Kyro Santos made a couple of kicks.

[A]

Missed a 58 yard field goal, you know, in that, that, that hurricane formation, which I love. I love that terminology, terminology of a hurricane.

[B]

Well, I think it's called a fire drill, but I think hurricane because it's. All the winds are whipping around, everybody's running, but, you know, they didn't, as far as I could tell. We brought this up yesterday on our postgame show and thanks for. Thanks to Nepo Biotch for sitting in the. They didn't get to swap that out for one of the good kicking balls because the ball was in play. And as far as I know.

[A]

Oh, yeah, you can't. Because you can't just swap a ball while it's in. Yeah, exactly.

[B]

The clock's running. I don't think that they're running over to get one of the rounded, softer.

[A]

Balls, soccer balls that they use.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That look like a football.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Rugby balls, you know, and so they couldn't do it. But still, you got to make. You got to be able to get it there from 58. Yeah.

[A]

I can't find any positives for you in that game. And the Bears now streak of scoring 21 or more ends at that game at 16 points. We'll. We'll do a deep dive, obviously, on Ford progress today.

[B]

Oh, that's. It's going to be.

[A]

We'll get into it.

[B]

Super.

[A]

There's a lot to get into.

[B]

Super Duper. Perhaps it's going to be.

[A]

Oh, don't even bring that guy.

[B]

Dare I say.

[A]

Coward. Yeah, you're a coward. You're a coward for not making your pick.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I laughed at you. I laughed at you.

[B]

I had.

[A]

For even thinking that.

[B]

I chickened out.

[A]

Yeah, you did. And you could have. You could have thrown it in my face today. It was there.

[B]

I know I can't take credit for it.

[A]

When. When Henry told me that the jets won, I'm like, you're.

[B]

They didn't win.

[A]

They were getting killed. I mean, there's no shot. And then he shows me the score and I'm like, super duper.

[B]

This was a bad data point overall in Caleb Williams development in the Ben Johnson era. This is a step back. This is what nonlinear development's supposed to look like. You'd still take it if you said that after seven games, Bears are 4 and 3. You still take it, right?

[A]

Yes, absolutely.

[B]

Okay. So we always say you're going to have to get to your nine or 10 losses somehow. If you thought the Bears were going to be 8 and 9 or 7 and 10, or if you think they're going to be 9 and 8, you got to find those. Those losses in there. This was one of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You got beat by a replacement level quarterback. And you got beat on a day when Derrick Henry was not gashing you for. For, you know, 7, 8 yards clip didn't really break. It's the other guy who's killing you. That Keaton Mitchell.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Whoa. Stop him. He quick. That guy gets to the corner. Check your angles on that guy, because you're coming in too shallow, he's going to, he's going to turn it up on you.

[A]

Yeah. It's interesting looking at the first seven games for, for the Bears and there's only one game I'm pissed about. I'm like, I'm really angry about it. And it's the Vikings game. I mean, that, that collapsed in the fourth quarter. But if you tell me that seven games with these opponents, Minnesota, Detroit, Dallas, the Raiders, the commanders, the Saints, Baltimore, the Bears would be four and three.

[B]

Yeah, you probably take it. You would have expected a different Ravens team. That's the thing. When we look back at these seasons.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know, 10 years from now, you see, oh, a loss on the road to the Ravens in Ben Johnson's first year, people aren't going to remember that they pulled a practice squad quarterback who.

[A]

Has now beat them twice. And John Harbaugh coming off a bye week has an exceptional record. But that's what makes it frustrating that it's not the full strength Ravens team. And then hearing Ben Johnson talk about the Ravens and how they played and then how his own team played, that's what's really frustrating as a fan.

[B]

Yeah, they couldn't score on a bad defense. They move the ball well in the scripted series. I thought Ben Johnson did a great job setting up this game. A great job. I love the boot action off of wide zone. And I counted four. There were three on the first drive, three boots. So they figured something out. They had a little Shanahan thing going on there. And then they got into the game once they got off the script on those first two drives and you knew it, you knew it when they didn't come away with touchdowns. It's great. So there's all this time off the guy. Take a whole quarter to go up six, nothing. And then the other team can go, go stand in the painted place and they get seven.

[A]

Yep, that's how it works. You get in the painted place, you.

[B]

Get more points to get more points that way. Field goals don't matter, man. This league right now, you, you're in field goal position after two seconds now. It's, it's crazy the way kickers are for the most part, other than the Bears kickers, unless they play moody that everybody makes 60 yarders. Now you get, you had a couple of plays down the field, you're in field goal range.

[A]

Well, not according to Ben Johnson, but the idea of Kyro Santos and kicking. So I'm going to do a deep dive for us this week and in forward progress one time.

[B]

Good.

[A]

And take a look at kicking and Kyro Santos and what the league averages are and what he can do, what he can't do. But we'll, we'll get more into that because I was curious when Ben Johnson said it's a real low percentage kick. It doesn't feel that way anymore.

[B]

It just.

[A]

It just doesn't. Not. Not in the NFL. Not. Not today.

[B]

So this was a. One of the lamest heat checks of all time is what it was. The Bears were on a heater. Not exactly most impressive heater you can have. But consider their heat well checked that the Bears when without these, without the variance of turnovers.

[A]

We've talked about that it's not sustainable. You can't. You can't do that. But was also disappointing is that the Ravens defensive line and their offensive line just outplayed. Now I thought the Bears defense line played okay, handled themselves fine.

[B]

No pass rush though.

[A]

But the. Somewhat. Yeah, but the, the O line, the D line for the Ravens was just exceptionally. Played exceptionally well comparatively speaking. That. That's what's frustrating. It's those games right there and they needed that. They needed that. We talked about it with Brian Wacker, how desperate the Ravens are going to be for a win in this game. And it really showed in their physicality and the way they went out and played to run the ball too.

[B]

Caleb Williams is bad and he was bad. And it's frustrating that the same problems continue to surface. Problems with timing, problems with reads and in large part without getting into some of the gory details or looking at math, just the broad perspective. His game doesn't have any pace. His game doesn't have any rhythm to it. He reminds me of Zach lavine in that you see the skill, you can see that the guy's super talented but doesn't quite have it yet, doesn't quite have control or an understanding of the rhythm of what's going on within the game, the timing of things. He's not bending the game to his will. He's still being buffeted about by the winds of the game. Or it's like a jazz musician who's got the chops, who's really clearly skilled at the instrument but doesn't understand when to move forward and when to move back and when to engage and when to disengage and feel the way the song is supposed to build around him. And it's really frustrating. This is Ben Johnson's job. This. He's. And it was a. It was A bad day for that process that they've got to turn into a good day. They've got to find a way, find a way to make difficulties like this the stuff of which greatness is made.

[A]

Right. No, I agree with you. And on a day when we needed Caleb to impact the game and the scoreboard in a positive fashion, he just. He wasn't there to do it. And we can't talk about this process that he's on with Ben Johnson as not being linear and then complain about it when it happens. Because this is what it is. This is the overall big picture type of process that we're looking at between a head coach and a quarterback. And to say that, oh, I'm done with Caleb Williams or he's a bust or the guy's not going to do it, it's too soon in the moment.

[B]

I know you feel that.

[A]

Yeah, no, and that's fair. That's fair. Because it is frustrating. It's something you build up to all week to watch and he looked like garbage. But it's part of this learning curve in this process. Don't make it any more than what it is because that's what it was. It was a small segment in the big picture and it was just bad yesterday.

[B]

Let me. Here's a simple continuum that sort of helps me understand where we are with some of this stuff. There is win because of.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Right. That's. That is the best thing you can have that you win because of your quarterback. They don't have the guy. You have the guy. Little else matters because he's the guy. Then there is win with. He's good enough. You're getting turnovers, you're playing great defense, you're establishing the run and this. And he's doing everything he can do to keep everything on schedule. Win with, then there's neutral, then there's lose with, which happens that he's okay. He's not the reason you lost, but he's not good enough to overcome the things that make you lose. And then there's lose because of where his deficiencies are keeping you from reaching the level Watermark. And I thought yesterday was pretty close to a lose because of game. And that's a data point you don't want when you're trying to get to win because of. Is that facile? Did I oversimplify it? Just.

[A]

No, it's. No, it's fine. And it works. And if you ask Woody Johnson, you know, the jets lose because of Justin Field until yesterday, but with Caleb Williams, they haven't had any games where they've won because of. They've won games with. And he's contributed, obviously, but at his expectations, his level, he should be more than win with Guy. And he's not there yet.

[B]

He's not even close.

[A]

And not even close.

[B]

And after the game, the other team should be like, there's nothing we could do.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Nothing we can do about that guy.

[A]

And here's the thing. Caleb may never become that guy, but Caleb could be a quarterback in the NFL that you win with. What's difficult about that is this roster is deficient in so many places right now that to have those team wins, it's. That's really hard to put together.

[B]

And, and this is not an endorsement of him. Don't confuse win with. With a low risk game manager. Correct the risk calculus, the way he plays the position. That's different. It's. I'm not saying you're trying to just win with him. I'm saying when you win, it may just be because this happened and this happened and this happened.

[A]

You get four turnovers and your running game all of a sudden explodes.

[B]

It's. I'm not endorsing.

[A]

And then the defense doesn't catch those interceptions that they should.

[B]

I still want them. Go score every time.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Throw it all over the place.

[A]

Go score 49.

[B]

Play modern football. I'm not endorsing a conservative game management plan. I'm just saying after the fact, we can say it was win with instead of win because of. Right. No, that's the rubric that I'm using to make it easy to understand sort of where we are and where we're not.

[A]

Yeah. I think a majority of our listeners in the podcast, and we do encourage younger people to listen, can really remember very well the 2006, 2007 season. The Bears. The Bears won. They won with Rex Grossman, who was a game manager. Now. He had moments and he had, he had some, Some exceptional play. But overall, if you look at Rex Grossman's career.

[B]

Yeah, I don't.

[A]

Rex Grossman was never a guy that. You're going to say we won because of Rex Grossman.

[B]

There were a few. He was an MVP candidate for a while.

[A]

Again, he had some. He had some exceptional moments in his career, but overall, he was a guy that go out, don't lose the game because of our defense. The defense is what drove that under Levy Smith. If that's your expectation for Caleb Williams, then he never should have been drafted in the first round. And if your expectation is, have A game manager who doesn't cost you the game, then I don't know. I mean, you can't trade Caleb Williams now, but then you start a guy like Tyson Bagen who's going to manage the game for you and just go out and don't lose the game. That can never be the thought process with Caleb Williams. Caleb Williams needs to develop into the guy you win because of on a consistent basis. He needs to be one of the greats in the league at that time.

[B]

Don't put mittens on him. You're not just saying check down, check down, check down.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

I want him looking deep.

[A]

But if that is the goal, which it should be the goal and is the goal. Again, this was a small segment in the big picture of this process and it's going, it's going to be a long, difficult process and there will be frustrating moments like yesterday where you can't find one good thing that he did.

[B]

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[A]

Let's go.

[B]

It's so much fun. And what is it? Hundreds of millions of dollars in buyouts, all of these big fat oligarchs coming in, huge checks.

[A]

What's BK getting? 54. Did I read that right?

[B]

Well, we're gonna talk about that in just a second because I think he got outmaneuvered. I think he got outflanked.

[A]

Think there's money left on the table somewhere?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, boy.

[B]

I think in one meeting, LSU saved a lot of money.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think they set a trap. Game lines, player, props and more. My bookie has everything you need before the pros even kick off. So when Sunday rolls around, you are already up, and my bookie has it all under one roof. You can win big on the NFL super contest and Survivor pools. If you're new to my bookie while this is going, you really should get on this. You use the code DBU for Dan Bernstein, unfiltered. Any bet you choose up to $500 fully covered. So you say, what does that mean? What it means is you make that play, and then if it doesn't hit, you get it right back when you opt in using the bet back bonus token. With our code dbu, my bookie is where betters win together, because bragging's good, but cashing in is better. If you want more Bears talk in depth. Everything Ben Johnson sound. He and Caleb Williams, maybe not on the same page on the fateful pick that is all going to be on forward progress, which is regularly. We try to aim for one o' clock on Mondays through Fridays.

[A]

Yeah, we hit one o' clock pretty consistently.

[B]

Yeah, we've been pretty good.

[A]

DBU. We aim for 11.

[B]

Yeah, right. One o'. Clock.

[A]

Sometimes we talk too much.

[B]

Right. But it's okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because we, you know, we want to make sure that we're. We get everything out. We need to get out. So I think the best reporting on what's going on with Brian Kelly and LSU is being done by Bruce Feldman and Ralph Russo of the Athletic. And they seem to have sources that others don't. And that's why I was intrigued. This is what informed my belief that this is something other than a straight firing of the underachieving Brian Kelly. And then I'll tell you where I would really like him to go next and what I want to ensue. There so here's what they are reporting. I think that their athletic director, Scott Woodward, he's the guy in here, and I think this was kind of a masterstroke. So they announced that they fired him. That was the official announcement. But the announcement came after Kelly and Scott Woodward met and according to this report, after they disagreed over possible coaching staff changes. This has multiple program sources told the athletic. Okay. On the heels of LSU's third loss in four games, the sources said Woodward wanted Kelly to make staff changes, including firing offensive coordinator Joe Sloan to try to fix an offense that ranks last in the SEC in rushing yards. However, when Kelly and Woodward met Sunday afternoon, things got very tense. After Woodward told the head coach to fire his play caller, Kelly fired back that he wanted to make other staff moves Woodward wasn't comfortable with. The situation then escalated when, with the head coach pushing back against his boss. Think with me here. Threats about negotiating a settlement of Kelly's $53 million buyout came up. But whether the LSU Board of Supervisors would give Woodward the authority to do that was another matter that needed to be sorted out. Kelly's contract would give LSU some relief if he gets another coaching job and does not include a huge lump sub payout. LSU's news release said terms of the separation are still being negotiated. I think Scott Woodward set him up and trapped him. I think they were looking at a $53 million check. Now, make no mistake, I think they wanted to fire him. I think they wanted him out. And I think Woodward said, well, how do we get this? He goes. If he walks in the office and I just say, brian, you're fired. We're on the hook for every bit.

[A]

53 million.

[B]

There's no negotiation one way or another. He's getting every penny of that. That is before offsets or mitigation language in the deal.

[A]

What did Franklin get, 50 or 60? I always.

[B]

I keep forgetting it was 50 right there. I don't know what the offset language is.

[A]

So he's.

[B]

He's 53. Okay. So just so I think what he did was he sort of passive aggressively by saying, you, you. I'm gonna fire you unless you do this, this, and this. I think he gave him what he knew was an untenable offer, knowing that he wasn't gonna fire his guys, because there's more to this that I'm gonna get to that Kelly should have seen coming. So I think Woodward's like, well, I know he's not gonna do this. And then he was able to shift the turf of that meeting. Threats about negotiating a settlement of the buyout came up. So it's like, well, oh, if you don't fire those guys, what are you gonna do? Quit? And by the time you get to that point now, LSU's gonna be off the hook for some stuff. The more mutual this got, the. Every little bit that he could push into the idea that an objective party would find this, anything bordering on a mutual separation.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In that meeting, something other than a straight firing is gonna save LSU money.

[A]

Yeah. I get where you're coming from. I understand it. And without being there and hearing it and being on the inside, here's. Here's a couple issues I have.

[B]

Number one, this is my perception. Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, no, no. But here, here's my. My immediate thoughts. If I'm a head football coach and I'm Brian Kelly, pretty significant name in college football, and, and I. I get how the hierarchy works and who the AD is and how. How that works, but if. If I'm a head football coach in Division 1 SEC football and the ad says, you need to fire these guys. I'm the head coach. This is my staff. And if he says, listen, of course, either do this or I'm going to fire you, I immediately, as a head coach, say, fine, fire me. And then I stop talking or I walk out of the room with a fuck you again on the way out.

[B]

I don't know if Kelly did that. I don't know if Kelly did that.

[A]

I'll take the 53 million. You can fire me and those guys that I want with me, I'll take them the next job I go to because I'm getting another job. So if you want those guys out and I'm not doing it, fine, fire me. If he's dumb enough to get played like that, then he deserves to lose every. Well, first of all, he doesn't deserve a dime. In my. In my mind, I mean, that guy, when I saw that he was fired, that made me happy. When Vanderbilt beat LSU a couple weeks ago, that made me really happy. I don't like Brian Kelly, and again, I love Chip Kelly and I apologize for that mistake before, but the fact that he was fired made me happy. If he was dumb enough to get.

[B]

Played like that, that's why this sentence, threats about negotiating a settlement of his buyout came up.

[A]

How and why.

[B]

That's what I want to know more about of how he. How this worked to move the territory of that meeting from an outright firing to something resembling a pre negotiation. Because it looks like there might be some Pennies on the dollar here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

As they talk about. Look, we wish Coach Kelly and his family the very best. We will.

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Right, right. And his family, my family, we will continue to negotiate his separation, and we'll work toward a path that is better for both parties.

[A]

Yeah. Now, if I'm.

[B]

If I'm his agent, Trace Armstrong.

[A]

Just stop talking. If they want to fire you, shut the fuck up and let them fire you. And take $53 million. What are you doing?

[B]

I mean, it is crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So there's a lot more. There's a ton of information that I would want to learn.

[B]

So it says Kelly left the football facility earlier Sunday, and as they awaited some resolution, Kelly's agent, Trace Armstrong, did not immediately respond. The school has been operating under the interim president, Lee. This is the College of Agriculture dean since May, when the previous president, William Tate, left to take the same role at Rutgers. Conversations took place Sunday among Tiger's leadership and power brokers. That included the state's governor, Jeff Landry.

[A]

Why?

[B]

To ask. To assess an immediate path forward with the LSU football program. Landry, the governor. Wait.

[A]

He was asked to get involved.

[B]

The governor met with the LSU Board of Supervisors to address the matter. But here is something interesting that also comes through in this. Because of all of the movement behind the scenes with Kelly's coaching staff. What you're saying, Matt?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm going to. This is why I think that was exactly right of what you said about. You don't tell me what to do with my staff. Right.

[A]

Correct. And that's why it should be, though, in my world.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Here's what we didn't know. Kelly overhauled his defense's staff after the 2023 season, hiring Tigers. Former Tigers assistant Blake Baker away from Missouri to be coordinator. Kelly brought back several coaches at the behest of Woodward with ties to previous LSU staffs. Talk about getting snookered.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You talk about bringing in your own assassins. Correct. Including defensive backs coach Corey Raymond, defensive line coach Bo Davis, to help boost in state recruiting. I make air quotes here. So Woodward. Woodward got Kelly to bring in spies to bring in his people. Yeah. You poisoned your own staff.

[A]

I don't know if you know this off top of your head, but how long has Woodward been there and how many seasons has Kelly been.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

To look at it.

[B]

I. I think Kelly got out flanked here.

[A]

That's.

[B]

And I.

[A]

That certainly sounds like it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like if you're. If you're Brian Kelly and the name you are in college Football. And if you allow that to happen.

[B]

Why don't you just hire. I got a list of people I want you to hire. Why don't you just bring these guys back from old LSU staffs?

[A]

Unless that was something contingent on getting the job. I. I don't know. 100.

[B]

You don't take a job. This is the lesson here. Like, don't take a job unless you got your guys. Like, if this guy brought in people who've been. And I guarantee you that's how you get your back. Channels of communication. That's how this all starts. That. That's when you know things are. The moment that happened, when your boss has his guys on the staff that aren't your guys. That's how it gets to this point. So I wouldn't be surprised if Brian Kelly was dumb enough to allow that to happen. He'd be dumb enough to get. To get outflanked in this meeting.

[A]

Yeah. Unless he had, you know, some personal knowledge or connection to any of these guys or knew of them or people that vouched for him, that he trusted, even, like, as college football coach at that level, at the professional level of college football, you do not allow that to happen at all. And if it's, hey, you can have this job contingent on these 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 guys being part of your staff to help in state recruitment. No, I'd be like, no, I. I got my own guys. We're good.

[B]

I don't care what your rationale is. Just say, look, you judge me by wins and losses. I'm gonna do it however I want. Hire me or don't hire me.

[A]

Well, I hope. I hope he got played like that. He deserves it.

[B]

He sure does, doesn't he? And let me just tell you, this is to close this. Here's what I want to happen. All I want. All I want is for Brian Kelly to coach Penn State.

[A]

Oh, God. Why?

[B]

Because. Wait, actually, I'm lying. It's not all I want.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I want Brian Kelly to coach Penn State. And then for the home opener, 150,000 people around the stadium, Brian Kelly standing there, probably talking in a Yinzer accent. At that point, I want a giant sinkhole to open up and swallow all of it. That's what I want.

[A]

All right, Now I get it.

[B]

That's my goal. Brian Kelly takes the Penn State job. They pay him a gazillion dollars, and he goes in there, he sounds like. By the end of the first interview, he's talking like Dave Wanstadt. Oh, come on. I mean, Shit, Burnsy. Big plays. We're all the problem. So. And there's. And there's the whole thing. And they run out to the field, and right before kickoff, sinkhole. The entire thing is gone forever. Swallowed up. Sinkhole closes, we all get on with our lives. That's all I want. Is that too much to ask?

[A]

It is not. All right. Scott Woodward has been the AD since 2019. And Brian Kelly's first year was 2022.

[B]

See?

[A]

So, yeah, a couple. Couple years on him. You want this job? Here's the guy. Yeah. And that's all speculation. We don't. I don't know.

[B]

I'm just telling you what my perception is of this, based on what I think is the best reporting that I've read.

[A]

Yeah. And again, if you have. And if I'm in any job that has a buyout, that's got millions at the end of the.

[B]

Pay me every penny, right?

[A]

I'm gonna fire you unless you do this. Okay. Take care. Good luck to you.

[B]

Yep. I'm. I gotta. I'm gonna go play golf.

[A]

Next sound is the door closing.

[B]

Right. I'm gonna go fishing. Call me if you need something. Call me when you fire me.

[A]

I'm gonna go sit on the couch and get real fat and watch college football.

[B]

Sounds like a job.

[A]

I'm gonna eat $53 million worth of big Macs, baskets of fries, Dean's peppermint ice cream, and rescued baked good.

[B]

Stay tuned, man. Stay tuned. Soon I'm gonna have new windows in the upstairs, and it's gonna be awesome because Russ Armstrong came to the house and he looked everything. I said, oh, yeah, let's do that. Do that. And then he said. He said, let's do this room. And then Russ walked to the next room. He goes, oh, there's only two in here. Why don't we do these two? Like Russ, you're doing the entire upstairs. He goes, well, how many times are you going to get windows? And he probably, well, those. Those are double hung. Double hung. Let's just do the whole upstairs. And I said, fine, let's. Let's do that. It increases the value of the home when you put in really, really good windows. And you can show your. That your heating and cooling bills are lower. So ultimately it ends up more than paying for itself. Let's do it. So Russ is making the windows right now at his factory because he owns Chicago Window Guys. He is Chicago Window Guys. It's why I recommend Russia to friends, to neighbors, because we all bought our house at the same Time we all had the same builder level windows in these houses. And after 20 years you gotta change stuff and you gotta improve things. And maybe you live in a house that was built in the 1800s. Who knows? Maybe you just want really good windows. Where he cuts through all the BS about the price match guarantees other people offer. Excuse me. He has a price match guarantee. When you hear about the buy one, get one free stuff, it doesn't mean what you think it means. You hear of the like buy one, get one 50% off or they'll throw one in free. All this stuff. Don't believe it. He's going to explain why. He's going to give you the best deal, the best windows at a real price that is fair. And he'll explain it all to you and you'll say, oh, okay. 8473-0291-7184-7302-9171. It's got five star reviews. Chicagowindowguys.com and when you're getting quotes, ask the other sales rep that you're talking to who's installing your windows. They won't know because they use third party labor. Russ doesn't. Everybody works for him. He knows everybody who's in and around your house. So the same people that are installing my windows are going to install yours. Don't wait. Get on the schedule. Give him a call. 847-302-9171. It's Russ Armstrong and Chicago Window Guys.

[A]

So apparently Matt Rule is emerging as the top candidate for the Penn State job.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, he was a. What do you play, fullback or linebacker? He was there under Paterno. Great. Failed NFL stint currently at Nebraska.

[B]

Okay. Yeah, that's fine. He's, he's, he's a guy.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't, I didn't know.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

Look, I wasn't interested until you just mentioned Brian Kelly because I thought I was like, oh, who's, who's the, the top guy there at Penn State.

[B]

Yeah. Matt rules at Nebraska.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But yeah, former paternal guy. Penn State guy.

[B]

Yeah. The great thing in college football now is everybody's throwing around these gazillions and the playing field is so level about who, you know, get your transfers, spend the money. It's pro football now. You don't need any of these. Go get the next guy.

[A]

Yeah, it's.

[B]

Find the next guy. Find the guy who can. It's not about the speaking and the recruiting. It's about tactics. Find somebody who can general manage or has good, really good General manager who can manage your nil budget and who can really coach the hell out of it. Those are the guys. Those are there. And it doesn't have to be some giant name.

[A]

No, it doesn't have to just find, find the next guy that has, has those skills.

[B]

Like I mentioned, the next Kurt Signetti.

[A]

Yeah, but Kurt, Kurt Signetti is never leaving Indiana. I mean, he's, he's finishing there, but. Yeah, I know, I know. It's just, it's. It's so hard because you're not really getting guys that come in for the, for the long term anymore. It's always what's the next best thing for me, regardless of the school they're at.

[B]

Yeah, I know. I remember when you, when you used.

[A]

To get to, when you used to get a head coaching job in an SEC school when it was like here and everything else was down this and.

[B]

Now you made a life.

[A]

Yeah. That was it. And you, if you made it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Now it's like, even SEC jobs, like, well, what's the next best thing for me?

[B]

I'm telling you, John Sumrall of Tulane is going to get.

[A]

He's going to get it. Okay.

[B]

And get one of these. I don't know that LSU would do it just because of the look. Yeah, I don't think that their fans would put up with it. They win this weekend to Lane.

[A]

They.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

I think I'll look it up.

[B]

Yeah, they played like UT San Antonio or something. I assume that they did. I don't know. But he's very, very well regarded and he's going to get one of these jobs if he wants it. And I know he does. He's. He is a, an ambitious coach, but he's pretty good tactician. Understands nil, understands the transfer portal. And that's really what you should do if, if you're looking to get a leg up as one of these programs. But yet you got to please all these big strokers, all the big cigar smokers and the midnight soakers. You gotta find these. The big name that will get in somebody's private plane and play golf with everybody and take the photos, everybody. It's still there. If you can play football, you can play politics.

[A]

The Green Wave, they didn't play.

[B]

Okay, that's what I thought.

[A]

They play on Thursday against utsa.

[B]

Before we look a little bit at what's going on in the World Series, let me just say the Bulls are two and oh, and they're doing the same thing they did last year, playing with high pace. I actually think not having Kobe White makes their initial defense a little bit better. We're going to talk about all this when we record organizations win championships, when OWC comes out later tomorrow afternoon and the Bulls play tonight against Atlanta. A rejuvenated Atlanta team that is has some high expectations this year after adding Kristaps Porzingis. But the Bulls bench is not terrible and they play hard. I will also say Isaac Coro just sucks. What does he do? I mean, I know he's a, he's a decent defensive player, he's a reasonably good defensive player, but like, his shots aren't even hitting. Like, he's missing everything. It's barely hitting the rim. He's throwing it off the shot clock. Like, come on, man, he, he looks like a rotational guy. Patrick Williams is a better basketball player right now. And if that was the message you wanted to send, Patrick Williams is, we're benching you for this. If that's what's getting Patrick Williams to play like he cares because he was. He had a really, really good game in Orlando. You need that every day. Just play hard. Just try.

[A]

So I'm not going to pretend to consume a lot of Bulls basketball. I will watch more this year, though, because of this. I know, I know you do, but I'm going to watch more. So I'm not going to pretend that I have all this information on it or passion or thoughts or care. But here's the thing. What's funny, When I hear you talk about the Bulls, how many guys on the roster have you asked the question, what does this guy do? Like, it's too many. Whatever the number is, I've got too many.

[B]

I've got a pretty good chance.

[A]

I've heard you ask that before about other guys. It's like, what are you doing here?

[B]

But I know I didn't really think much of this iteration of Lonzo Ball. So trading him for Isaac Okoro, fine. But he's, he's a rotational level guy. Watching Tre Jones go against his brother Tyus was, was really fun. And Orlando, they just need shooting. They've got a bunch of good players, bunch of really good players, but they are in desperate need of shooting.

[A]

All right, so it's Bulls and, And Hawks tonight.

[B]

Bulls and Hawks tonight.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Yeah. And Hawks are a good team. But there are, there's. The Bulls were. If Patrick Williams is going to play like this, if he's going to give that kind of efficient effort, that's what you're. That's all you and I've been fooled before.

[A]

Yeah. But it's his unfortunate with. With his draft. I mean where he was drafted, the expectations for him. And you're still talking how many years in now that he. Oh, he finally cares.

[B]

Still young.

[A]

Like that's. I know, but still. I know he's young and he's got a lot of ability, but to still say, all right, is this what. What's finally makes him care about his performance and what he does in the court. That's just, it's. That's unfortunate.

[B]

If they could find a little bit of rim protection somewhere and. And I actually thought Jalen Smith had the. One of the best games I've seen him play in a long time when he's looking to be a little bit more aggressive and exploit mismatches and notice when he's got a guard on him and take a guy down to the post. I don't. I'm not with Stacy King on the whole post up thing. I guess Stacy's not going to stop that this year either. That he's still going to go back to it's penetration. Yes, you need points in the paint, but you get points in the paint from attacking the basket.

[A]

Yeah. This isn't 20 years ago.

[B]

Not from turning your back to it with a guy in between you and the basket. But that's a story for another day. Either way. I'm bullish on what the Bulls could be if they keep playing this hard and if that second unit comes in with the energy that they have. Kevin Herder plays hard too. Like they're not going to be if they, if they want to be one of these rugged teams. Even down Zach Collins and it hurts them to miss him. I'm not. I'm not. Still 500 would be a goal for the Bulls this year. Maybe 500 is good enough for the 6 seat.

[A]

Are you really bullish?

[B]

No, not on their overall chances. Are you bullish on the Bulls? I don't. I've yet to see how they're on a path to get a superstar that makes them championship material. But we've made a pledge this year on OWC that we're not going to doom spiral in a wide open East. We're not going to spend the entire season on our show grumbling about how little any of it matters.

[A]

Chicago Bulls basketball shooting for the six seed.

[B]

There you go. They're your marching orders.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

Thank you. I appreciate it deeply. As you know. So when it comes to your NFL crew, to your people and whether it's your fantasy Football crowd or your text chains. In football, there's always a guy who has some big parlay victory and you hear about it over and over and over again and he's, hey, you know, call me parlay king. I'm the guy that hit that five leg, all right? And he's annoying, but it's not annoying if that's you and you get to bother everybody. That gets fun. And you can be that guy with my bookie because my bookie makes it easy to get in on the action. It's college ball, it's NFL, it's the super contest, it's survivor pools, it's all the spreads, it's player props, it's all the in game lines you could want all under one roof. And if you are new to my bookie, we have a code. It's three letters. It's dbu, by the way. People are asking about merch. We're going to, we're going to get some of that and some merch coming your way. More on that in a little bit. Any bet you choose up to $500 is fully covered with my bookie. Make your play. If it doesn't hit, you get it right back. When you opt in using the bet back bonus token, just use those letters DBU as your code. There's no better time to jump in. No better place to play. Football is back. So go make some money with my bookie. DBU picks coming up a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, just on that note, real quick too. I was one for one for two. I had half my parlay over the weekend, my college football stuff. I had Old Dominion -14 against the Appalachian State Mountain people. And they, they won 24, 21. So that was disappointing. But they were up 21 to 7 in the fourth quarter or 24 to 7 in the fourth quarter. And then Vanderbilt with a win over, over Missouri, you know, was really fun game. They won 17 to 10. And that there's a true freshman's quarterback that started playing for Missouri because Prabula got hurt. It looked like a really bad leg injury. And then this true freshman comes in and starts throwing the ball all over. And he looked, he looked really good.

[B]

Break his fibula.

[A]

Yeah, he sure did.

[B]

Now, I don't know what he did.

[A]

But it was the, the air cast and then they carted him off.

[B]

It might have been his fabula, put.

[A]

Him in a wheelchair, but it was a fun game. And my guy was asked over the weekend if he deserves to win the Heisman. He's like, hell yeah, I do Good for him. Yeah, I love it. Love it. With his big gold or big chain on. It looked like he had a big chain. Yeah.

[B]

This cute mom that is always with him.

[A]

You see the story about, I think he, he said he would hook up one of his players on a date with his mom if he did something. I know it was. Yeah, I know.

[B]

He's, he's, that's a little creepy.

[A]

He's brotastic for sure.

[B]

That's a little much. Yeah. Sorry I missed mine. My parlay. I had Mark Andrews with over three and a half receptions and over 35 and a half yards.

[A]

Did he have two or did he have three?

[B]

Three receptions, 34 yards.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Every time I've been, I've been right up again. That's why they set the lines where they are. Yeah, they're really good at their job. It's really irritating, but that's the point of it. All right, quick story. I'm making my usual rounds at Mariano's. End of the day.

[A]

Are you doing World Series stuff or. No. Do you have baseball stuff, thoughts or.

[B]

No, that's right.

[A]

Yeah, do that, do that.

[B]

First, Let me, let me just say, looking at that, it's. Enjoy Max Scherzer tonight. Max Scherzer is starting glass now. Glass now. Yeah, it's a hell of a matchup. I mean, the pitching matchup Saturday night was, was pretty incredible.

[A]

Back to back complete games. First time since her moto.

[B]

But yeah, I mean, gossip, the fact that he's, he's mowing everybody down, that you're, you're going through it for a while and that was a fairly tight, well played game. We haven't had a lot of drama yet. I like late inning drama. And we've gone two games without any. We got a best of five series here now. And the, you know, I'm against hate watching. I have no choice but to watch John Smoltz.

[A]

But you don't have to listen to him though.

[B]

I do though. It's weird because I'm flipping. That's the thing. Tonight I got three games to watch. I've got the Bulls.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's number one.

[B]

I've got Monday Night Football. Monday Night Football and I've got the World Series.

[A]

And that's Chiefs and commanders and I'm.

[B]

The World Series and I gotta, I'm gonna have a pick for you in the Monday Night Football game.

[A]

So, yeah, then I have.

[B]

If I'm flipping, I can't be muting. And then I, I, every time I flip over, it's John Smoltz going on a long winded explanation why swinging hard is better than not.

[A]

You just. You need to stop. Like, it's just not good for you.

[B]

Like, seriously, you're giving me a treatise on, like, this new thing you discovered about swinging hard? It's like the first thing the first caveman understood about his club. Kill Saber toothed tiger. I don't know. Ugh. You're not swinging your club hard enough. Oh, hard. Okay. Because the saber tooth tiger just bit my leg off.

[A]

Yeah, that's a bad matchup. A club and a saber toothed tiger.

[B]

But, you know, it's just like. Come on. What are you talking about? This is an example of how swinging hard helps. He hit it 420 fucking feet. Lunatic.

[A]

Well, I think tonight, Dan, the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City is on. So you can watch that instead of any sports.

[B]

No, I have sports to watch, and I'm going to watch the sports.

[A]

Yeah, because I'm not watching that at all.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Real Housewives of Salt?

[B]

Oh, I thought you meant the World Series. I'm not watching Real Housewives. There, those are now. Now to what you've been waiting for. I get to the discounted bakery rack.

[A]

You know, I'm endorsing. You're searching out old baked goods. Like I never endorsed your old meat purchases until maybe recently. I'm getting closer. You know why I'm getting closer to being fully on the broat with you?

[B]

Because meat is insanely expensive right now. Groceries are cheap, Dan. Oh, I didn't know that.

[A]

Gas is cheap. Groceries are cheap. The world is fine.

[B]

I didn't know that. Stop being a jerk. I didn't know that. I didn't know.

[A]

All right, Sorry.

[B]

So. Thank you. I'm going to get you because you're feeding, like, eight people now. You're feeding growing boys. Well, no, it's like a silo. No, there's.

[A]

There's. Well, there's the four boys. There's me, Natalie. There's the 10 people in the committee. That's 16.

[B]

The dogs. The dogs.

[A]

So. And the cat.

[B]

Dogs on the committee.

[A]

Well, Frank is.

[B]

I want Frank on the.

[A]

Frank's on the committee.

[B]

Yeah, he just.

[A]

He sits and wags his downstairs.

[B]

And I want Frank as the voice of reason on the committee. Yeah.

[A]

So then with the committee, the dogs, the cat, that's 19.

[B]

All right, that's. That's a big number. So you need to get with me with. With discounted stuff. So there is a table at the front of my Mariano's where they Will do. The four packs. Discounted four packs of Stan's donuts. Not the regular Mariana's donuts. They'll do four though. The end of the day donuts they'll put out there. I found the rack of those in the back before they brought them to the front.

[A]

No boy.

[B]

Which might be a Sunday hack because Sunday is usually when they do some of the discounting.

[A]

Like in the back where employees only area. Are you walking back there now?

[B]

Just kind of, hey, push the doors.

[A]

Open and walk through the swinging doors.

[B]

How's it going? What are you doing here?

[A]

They're just like, oh, it's that guy.

[B]

I've got the. I've got the neon vest and the clipboard ladder. Ladder over my shoulder. Yeah, I've got some specs for the. The construction. Got some specs. Here, let me just take this discounted meat while I'm here. So I found them and I'm looking. Usually I'm only gonna grab apple fritters because there's a wide variety in the donuts. I don't know which donuts they are. Some are like the gluten free things I don't want and some get stale sooner than others. So usually I'll grab the apple fritters. But I thought I grabbed this one and it's three times as heavy as any of the other boxes of four. Like, good lord, they're lead weights in here. We got weights and fish. And I look at and I couldn't recognize the donut. It looks like it's caramel covered and it's got peanuts all over it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Just little chopped peanuts.

[A]

Was it like a. Like a caramel colored, colored covered apple donut? Yeah.

[B]

Okay, so what it was is. Got it. Stans does a cross branding with Chicago based AFY Tapple. Ooh. Okay. The best ones, by the way, makers, the famous AFY Tapples and they do a cross branded donut. I think it retails for six bucks.

[A]

One donut.

[B]

One donut. Okay, so this was 3.99 for four of them.

[A]

The tariffs.

[B]

Donut tariffs. Yeah. So there's.

[A]

He would lower those, get them cheaper.

[B]

3.99 for four. So I'm like, there's something's going on with these. So I went up to the front because I didn't know what they were. And I see there's a little sign says AFY Tapple and there's a stick stuck in it. And it's a special dough. It's only available for like another four days. I think it is this Partnership. That is. It's a couple weeks every year or the last couple years. So it is an old fashioned apple donut. An old fashioned donut that's apple flavored, covered in caramel, and then the chopped peanuts.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

That sounds good.

[B]

It's. It's not. What it is is essentially the donut is barely there. There's so much caramel. Oh. It's almost like. I would say it is a giant vanilla caramel that has a donut running through the middle and is covered in peanuts. Like, if you sliced each donut into quarters, each one is like a Fanny Mae, one of those big vanilla caramels.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And.

[A]

But it's good.

[B]

Like, you bite and you bite. You're like, where's the donut?

[A]

You liked it?

[B]

Yeah. Okay. It's rich because it's a vanilla butter caramel that essentially has a little donut in it. And I only got through one. I thought I was gonna eat two. And after one, I'm like, ooh, I'm saving these. And you could eat it with a knife and fork. And there's no shame in that because there is. Like, they give it to you with a stick. They took the sticks out of these. Yeah, but there's a stick in it. And you would. You would eat it. Like, it's halfy apple. Yeah. Yeah. So for that price, for a dollar instead of six, you'd buy that for a dollar? I'd buy that for a dollar. Well, we're living in a Verhoeven movie, so we might as well reference them.

[A]

Right. All right, I'm going to have to give it a try.

[B]

And then I had a childhood memory that as a kid growing up, kids from Deerfield and Northbrook, the old Deerbrook Mall, when. And I go with my mom to, like, buy pants or something at Just Jeans or wherever we would go. And there was a Fannie Mae immediately to the right when you walked into Deerbrook Mall. And my mom would always go in and get me one of the big vanilla caramels. And I would keep you, like, your mouth shut. That's what I realized.

[A]

Here, put these three caramels in your mouth. Kid, shut the hell up. For the next hour, I would.

[B]

I would stick it to the roof of my mouth and just sort of let it slowly dissolve. And it was only years later, she was smart. That I understood that she was essentially, basically, like putting a mute button.

[A]

Like, oh, I don't blame her.

[B]

It stopped.

[A]

I would do it here, but it wouldn't work. Well, for the show Bad idea.

[B]

Finally stop talking.

[A]

She knew what she was doing.

[B]

I guess so.

[A]

Right? That's why she always gave you a big thing of popcorn at the movie when she'd take you out of school.

[B]

Maybe that was the good and plenty too.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, maybe that was the Good and plenty trick. Whatever it was, your love for food.

[A]

Developed because your mom wanted you to stop talking. Please eat this.

[B]

Please, something make him stop. Or the time when I was in like, first and second grade. Remember when the bubble gum craze, it was Bubblicious and Bubble Yum and Hubba Bubba and she's like, oh, more, more. Sure. Oh, absolutely, sure.

[A]

What do you mean, the bubblegum craze? It hasn't ended?

[B]

No, but there was when I was younger, when Bubble Yum came out.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the big pieces, like big bubble gum. It was a bigger deal than when it was just bazooka and double bubble and like Bub's daddy, like the bubble gum wars between the big confection companies.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got started up in like the. In around 78, 79, 80.

[A]

Because our travel teams now there's always one parent that brings the big bucket of gum and it's like 500 pieces. And it gets. It gets eaten in one game because kids put up. They chew, they spit it. They chew, they spit it. Yeah, it's super annoying.

[B]

Yeah, it's like that in major league dugouts. Ever looked at the floor?

[A]

Oh, well, most. Most youth facilities now don't allow gum or seeds at their places anymore.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, most. Most major league teams, the like, have people. Whose full time job is it?

[A]

Clean up after grown men making millions.

[B]

Grown men. Yeah, grown men making. Spitting everything everywhere. Yes. Because they just can't go two seconds without having a mouth or go to.

[A]

The garbage can in the dugout or throw something out.

[B]

Yeah. God forbid they do that. All right, that's gonna do it for today. But DBU picks, right?

[A]

Yes, DBU picks. Let's do those. Let me go first.

[B]

Well, let me just first say that my bookie presents DBU picks.

[A]

I'm going to go tonight. Monday Night Football commanders taking the 11 and a half points at the Chiefs. Marcus Mariota starting for the Commanders. I know this. He is two and. Oh. @ Arrowhead Stadium. Both games coming with the Tennessee Titans won a playoff victory. He likes playing there. I'll give him that confidence and say that the Commanders can stay and actually win that game. Plus eleven and a half.

[B]

You and I are thinking similarly when it comes to our picks. I am going to do a Marcus Mariota parlay and I actually going to go over what is his over under for yardage and I'm going to increase my odds and increase the number to 216 passing yards and take the over on that to get plus 120 and I'm going to go over 18 and a half completions. And the reason I'm doing that in part is because garbage time. I think they'll be trailing and I think the middle of the field will be open and I think there's going to be some opportunities later in the game perhaps for him to get yards that don't necessarily mean anything. But all I'm betting is that when you look at that final box score, Marcus Mariota is over 216 with 19 or more completions. Those are my DBU picks.

[A]

Very good. I like them. Good stuff. So we're watching that game for those particular plays that come through.

[B]

That's Dan Bernstein Unfiltered for today. You're a big Bears fan. We're going deep and intense with what was specifically what was said to after the game and we're going to monitor what's being said today. But forward progress is coming your way for all things Bears. Make sure you like subscribe rate everything that you do for Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered Brought to you in partnership with my bookie Dan Bernstein Unfiltered Unfiltered on 312Sports.