Dan Bernstein Unfiltered – Chicago Bears vs Browns: Freezing Temps, Caleb and the Passing Game, and Myles Garrett
Podcast: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Host: Dan Bernstein with longtime producer Matt Abbatacola
Episode Date: December 10, 2025
Episode Overview
In this installment, Dan and Matt dive headfirst into upcoming Bears-Browns game day conditions, the reality of “Bears weather,” speed debates about the current Bears roster (and their comedic wheelbarrow race hypotheticals), a broader look at AI's everyday infiltration, tales of kitchen mishaps, and a deep tangent into the current state of college football bowls—invoking both humor and sharp perspective. The episode weaves hard sports analysis with lived Chicagoan experience, food chat, and irreverent banter.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. Football in the Frigid: “Bears Weather” and Stadium Dreams
- Game Day Forecast
- Temperatures for Bears-Browns predicted in the single digits, with a “real feel” of -7°F and 21 mph wind gusts.
- “It’s going to be very cold.” (Dan Bernstein, 01:45)
- “Extreme cold can be dangerous… everybody’s cold, everybody hates it. Cold sucks.” (Matt, 01:49; 03:01)
- Temperatures for Bears-Browns predicted in the single digits, with a “real feel” of -7°F and 21 mph wind gusts.
- Debunking the “Bears Weather” Edge
- Both hosts mock the idea that Midwest winter conditions are an advantage, noting that nearly all players come from warmer places and nobody likes it.
- “All the players are from Louisiana… everybody’s cold. Everybody hates it. Cold sucks.” (Matt, 03:01)
- The Stadium Roof Longing
- Dan advocates for an indoor stadium:
- “I’m all about playing football indoors.” (Dan, 03:30)
- Shared hope for Kevin Warren and a climate-controlled future for Bears fans.
- Dan advocates for an indoor stadium:
2. The Fastest Bear and Wheelbarrow Olympics
- Debate Over the Fastest Chicago Bear
- Luther Burden is tossed around as the likely fastest, with mention of Nishan Wright’s top sprint speed and Caleb Williams’ surprising quickness:
- “Is it Luther Burden?” (Dan, 04:38)
- “Sometimes Caleb looks faster. Is it Caleb?” (Matt, 09:23)
- Luther Burden is tossed around as the likely fastest, with mention of Nishan Wright’s top sprint speed and Caleb Williams’ surprising quickness:
- Absurd “Wheelbarrow Race” Hypothetical
- Matt posits Luther Burden racing Andrew Billings while pushing a wheelbarrow, then humorously escalates it to Burden pushing Tyson Bagent in the wheelbarrow.
- “Could Burden outrace Andrew Billings if Burden were pushing an empty wheelbarrow?” (Matt, 10:38)
- “So he has to push Tyson Bagent in a wheelbarrow while he races Andrew Billings. I think Andrew Billings wins.” (Dan, 15:27)
- Matt posits Luther Burden racing Andrew Billings while pushing a wheelbarrow, then humorously escalates it to Burden pushing Tyson Bagent in the wheelbarrow.
- AI Gets a Turn: How to Use a Wheelbarrow
- The hosts ask Microsoft Copilot for wheelbarrow instructions, lampooning the modern need for AI advice in everyday matters.
- “How would you have any idea how to use one without ChatGPT?” (Matt, 11:22)
- The hosts ask Microsoft Copilot for wheelbarrow instructions, lampooning the modern need for AI advice in everyday matters.
3. AI Everywhere: Silliness, Distrust, and Doomsaying
- AI Consumerism Satire
- From “AI slippers” to “AI toilets,” Matt blasts the ubiquity of meaningless AI branding and questions the technology’s hype cycle.
- “It’s like everything’s a pump and dump… Please, please, please buy something with AI in it.” (Matt, 06:16)
- From “AI slippers” to “AI toilets,” Matt blasts the ubiquity of meaningless AI branding and questions the technology’s hype cycle.
- Paranoia and Verification Fatigue
- Dan laments the credibility crisis: “You have to double check everything now… you just can’t trust anything anymore.” (Dan, 06:57)
- Raising Kids with ChatGPT?
- Both mock Sam Altman’s statement that “You can’t raise a child without ChatGPT.”
- “I couldn’t even imagine what with it, right?” (Matt, 08:43)
- Both mock Sam Altman’s statement that “You can’t raise a child without ChatGPT.”
4. Kitchen Talk and Home Cooks’ War Stories
- Potatoes, Steaks, and Burned Thumbs
- Matt details making a home-cooked breakfast inspired by Waffle House (hash browns, onions, steak medallions, sunny-side-up eggs), including a fresh oven burn:
- “…I did not know the insulation in the thumb [of the mitt] had moved… I fried my thumb.” (Matt, 20:03)
- “Copilot says touching hot pans without protection can cause severe burns instantly.” (Dan, 21:02)
- Matt details making a home-cooked breakfast inspired by Waffle House (hash browns, onions, steak medallions, sunny-side-up eggs), including a fresh oven burn:
5. Nostalgia and Absurdity: Food, Childhood, and Camp Stories
- Food Attachments and Overeating Stories
- The conversation drifts into food possessiveness, camp meals, and impressive eating feats:
- “I did a whole bird [Popeye’s 8-piece] and a large mashed potatoes.” (Matt, 29:09)
- The conversation drifts into food possessiveness, camp meals, and impressive eating feats:
- Hot Dogs at Camp
- Matt recounts having to label hot dogs to avoid mix-ups at day camp (61:42).
6. College Football Playoffs, Bowls, and Entitlement
- Vanderbilt Head Coach Clark Lea’s Mature Response
- The hosts praise Lea for his no-excuse approach to missing the playoff, contrasting it with what they perceive as Notre Dame’s entitled reaction.
- “We are not victims in this process. Our ownership is in coming up short…” (Clark Lea audio, 33:01)
- The hosts praise Lea for his no-excuse approach to missing the playoff, contrasting it with what they perceive as Notre Dame’s entitled reaction.
- Debate Over Non-Playoff Bowls
- Matt is skeptical about their future; Dan is hopeful, especially for programs like Vanderbilt, where a 10-win season and bowl trips mean a lot.
- Players Skipping Bowls
- Both agree on player autonomy regarding skipping bowls for NFL prep, with no stigma attached.
7. Offbeat: Fishing Tangents, Halibut, and More Races
- Ice Fishing and “Man Caves” on the Ice
- Discussion of modern, fully-equipped ice shacks versus old-school discomfort.
- Luther Burden vs. Billings in a Fish-Carrying Sprint
- The fictional event is now Burden carrying a 50lb halibut in a race against Billings.
- “A halibut specifically is a hard fish to carry… for Luther’s safety, it’s dead.” (Matt, 55:15; Dan, 55:36)
- The fictional event is now Burden carrying a 50lb halibut in a race against Billings.
8. White Sox Win the Draft Lottery, “Rock” Chalowski Banter
- Sox Land #1 Pick; Daniel “Rock” Chalowski Noted as Favorite
- “Always draft shortstops; you can play them anywhere.” (Dan, 59:12)
- Segue into neighborhood chatter and whether “Rock” is a true South Side name.
9. Bulls & NBA on Prime: Studio Shows and Personality Clashes
- Amazon NBA Desk Compared to TNT
- Steve Nash’s lack of on-air charisma highlighted.
- “He barely spoke audibly… Steve Nash says ‘black coffee’ and then there’s this long pause.” (Matt, 65:06)
- Blake Griffin’s comic instincts get credited amidst the awkwardness.
- Steve Nash’s lack of on-air charisma highlighted.
- Attempting to Replicate the Famous TNT Basketball Show
- “Stop trying to recreate the NBA on TNT.” (Matt, 66:01)
Notable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps
- On “Bears Weather”
- “Extreme cold can be dangerous for outdoor activities. Winds gusting up to 21 miles an hour and a real feel of seven below zero.” (Matt, 01:49)
- On the AI Craze
- “It’s like everything’s a pump and dump… please, please, please buy something with AI in it.” (Matt, 06:16)
- “You have to double check everything now… you just can’t trust anything anymore.” (Dan, 06:57)
- On Sam Altman & ChatGPT
- “Sam Altman said you can’t raise a child without chat GPT.” (Matt, 08:42)
- On the Vanderbilt Approach to Playoff Snubs
- “We are not victims in this process. Our ownership is in coming up short.” (Clark Lea, 33:01)
- On Non-Playoff Bowls’ Meaning
- “For a lot of seniors, this is their final time to play football. Then they should be able to play.” (Dan, 37:14)
- On Chicago Weather & Fishing
- “January 19th is the first sign of spring. First sign of spring is, like, March or June.” (Dan, 52:16)
- “I hate bear weather.” (Dan, 52:20)
- On Modern Ice Fishing
- “You’re sitting in a barca lounger… televisions, 72 degrees in there. You happen to have a hole in front of you and there’s fish underneath.” (Matt, 53:04)
- On NBA Studio Banter
- “Steve Nash says, ‘black coffee,’ and then there’s this long pause. Was it Udonis Haslam?” (Matt, 65:06)
- “Stop trying to recreate the NBA and TNT… you can’t touch that.” (Matt, 66:01)
Running Jokes and Tone
- Frequent sarcastic jabs at sports clichés (“Bears weather”), the tech world’s AI obsession, and media excess.
- Good-natured ribbing between hosts, with Matt regularly accusing Dan of trying to “mess with him.”
- Ironic deep dives into food and camp nostalgia, always with a Chicago/local flavor.
- Absurdist sports hypotheticals (wheelbarrow races, fish-carrying sprints).
- Playful, at times brash, but always self-aware and accessible to the everyday Chicago sports fan.
Key Timestamps
| Topic | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|-------------| | Bears-Browns cold weather setup | 01:39–04:00 | | “Fastest Bear” debate and wheelbarrow talk | 04:25–11:28 | | AI in life/parenting skepticism | 05:19–09:13 | | Home cooking & kitchen injuries | 17:02–21:16 | | College football playoff, Clark Lea audio | 32:24–35:49 | | Non-playoff bowl philosophy | 36:14–37:38 | | Ice fishing “man cave” tangent | 52:37–53:51 | | White Sox and Rock Chalowski draft talk | 58:40–62:19 | | NBA on Prime studio segment critique | 64:07–66:01 | | Next episode preview: Top 10 Browns, feedback | 68:10–69:39 |
For the Listener Who Missed It
If you’re looking for hard stats, serious football breakdown, and icy-hot Chicago sports takes—with hearty doses of laughs and local color—this episode delivers. The show covers everything from the reality of “Bears weather” to AI’s saturation of modern products, and even finds time for detailed recounting of kitchen disasters and the NCAA’s cultural shift. Through Dan and Matt’s irrepressible banter, you’ll get a slice of real Chicago, a few absurd hypotheticals, and enough personality to warm up any subzero gameday.