Chicago Bulls New Opportunity: Why Bryson Graham Needs to Take EVERY Call

Summary

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered

Episode: Chicago Bulls New Opportunity: Why Bryson Graham Needs to Take EVERY Call
Date: May 13, 2026
Host: Dan Bernstein
Co-host: Matt Abbatacola
Podcast Network: 312 Sports

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Episode Overview

This episode of Dan Bernstein Unfiltered focuses on the new opportunities facing the Chicago Bulls, specifically the fresh slate for new Executive Vice President of Basketball Operations, Bryson Graham. Dan lays out why Graham’s lack of a track record presents the Bulls with a unique market advantage during this pivotal offseason, especially with the 4th and 15th picks in a deep NBA Draft. The episode also touches on the Cubs’ season, college football controversies, pride in professional sports, and a humorous digression into cruise ship disasters.

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1. Chicago Bulls’ Unique Front Office Advantage

[01:39–18:26]

The State of the Bulls

• The Bulls now hold the 4th and 15th overall picks in the upcoming NBA Draft.
• Dan addresses the “silly season” of impossible trade rumors and kneejerk mock drafts:

  “The more bad you add together in a big blob, apparently you can trade that for good.” (03:03)

• Artūras Karnišovas, the previous GM, is criticized for consistently losing value in trades, with only the Caruso-for-Giddey swap possibly bucking the trend.

New Leadership — Bryson Graham

• Key Point: Bryson Graham steps into the EVP role as an unknown entity to the rest of the NBA, which Dan sees as a huge tactical advantage.

• “When you just walk into the poker game and sit down and people kind of look at each other like, ‘who’s this guy?’ They don’t know you. They don’t know your tendencies, they don’t know your tells.” (04:29)

• With no history to work off, rival execs can't anticipate Graham’s moves, making it a potentially fruitful window for deals or intelligence gathering.

Strategy: Take Every Call, Gather Intelligence

• Dan isn’t advocating for a trade or draft-day move specifically:

  “I’m not saying the Bulls must do this or must do that. All I’m stating is an observation...This gives you an immense advantage in a marketplace.” (05:03)

• Every trade conversation is data:

  “When the phone rings, you have people in a room trying to understand what’s going on...Which is harder to do when you just walked in.” (06:36)

• Listen, learn, and be unpredictable:

  “Privately you can say, ‘I don’t want to trade anybody, but I want everybody to think I’d trade anybody.’ You want to be a wild card?” (09:19)

Draft-Day Scenarios and Aggressive Thinking

• Bulls should look at draft night as a moment to seize agency, not follow a fatalistic script.

  “Don’t look fatalistically. I don’t want Bryson Graham thinking about that. You’ve got opportunities here. You have some power.” (12:10)

• Even the appearance of dealing can benefit the franchise by gathering “league-wide intelligence.”
• The power of novelty and unpredictability:

  “Bold moves will define champions. Is this the year for the Bulls to think that way? It might be.” (14:12)

Notable Moments and Quotes

• On using the moment:

  “You are never, maybe never going to have a better opportunity in the market to deal than the Bulls have right now.” (03:39)

• On the value of being new:

  “You’re not going to get these opportunities to be unknown for much longer. And that gives you an advantage because when you finish texting, when you hang up the phone, they’re wondering where you’re coming from.” (15:30)

• On the Bulls’ risk-taking history:

  “The Bulls used to be known for bold moves and that’s sort of lost in this. We make fun of Jerry Krause…but man, when it came time to trade Charles Oakley…Done.” (14:47)

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2. Cubs Check-In: Encouragement and Perspective

[18:41–28:11]

Cubs’ Seasonal Variance

• Dan reassures listeners to keep perspective during slumps:

  “Bad teams have winning streaks. Good teams have losing streaks. Any player can hit anything over 60 plate appearances.” (18:49)

• Stresses that variance and randomness are inherent in baseball; rate stats and big samples are what matter.

Confidence in Team Construction

• Despite a recent scoring drought and injury woes, Dan has high confidence in the Cubs:

  “I am confident right now in saying the Cubs are a very, very, very good baseball team…If everybody does what they should be reasonably expected to do, the Cubs will win 94 games as we expected to start the season and win the division.” (21:41)

Appreciating Defense

• Celebrates Pete Crow-Armstrong’s defense:

  “Every single game, Pete Crowe Armstrong does something defensively that just blows your damn mind…If he can get the most out of what his body can do, he’s really going to be in the realm of special Chicago athletes.” (23:01)

• Defensive excellence offers stability during offensive slumps.

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3. College Football, Ole Miss, and Demographic Truths

[29:08–36:35]

Lane Kiffin’s Comments on Race, Recruiting, and Ole Miss

• Lane Kiffin notes many Black families are hesitant to send kids to Oxford, Mississippi, because of the school’s racial legacy.
• Dan says this is simple truth, not controversy:

  “Right? Is that news? It’s Ole Miss. Your symbol. The rebel flag. You’re the Rebels. You were the…impossible representations of the actual Confederacy.” (31:44)

Old South vs. Real World

• Satirical takedown of Ole Miss’ “rebranding”:

  “‘Ole’ means antebellum. That’s what ol means. It’s not New Miss. They don’t like New Miss…No, you’re not. You love the old.” (32:26)

• Pokes fun at academic debates regarding athletes’ courseloads.

Recruiting Realities

• Summarizes why families choose where to live or where their kids play:

  “It’s easier for me to recruit these families to a place where they can live, where people are nicer to them or the world looks more comfortable and real and welcoming to them.” (36:13)

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4. Applause for Dodgers’ LGBTQ+ Recognition

[36:43–44:07]

Dodgers Install Tribute to Billy Bean and Glenn Burke

• Dodgers’ Pride Night to feature a tribute to LGBTQ+ trailblazers Billy Bean and Glenn Burke.
• Context: Glenn Burke (the reputed "inventor of the high five") and Billy Bean were pioneering LGBTQ+ figures in Major League Baseball, honored now with a permanent display.
• Dan contrasts this with Texas Rangers installing a statue of a violently racist figure.
• On Clayton Kershaw's discomfort with the team's Pride initiatives:

  “I hope he’s bothered by this. I do. I hope that Clayton Kershaw has to find some way to reconcile the fact that his team…is doing this despite everything that he happens to stand for.” (42:38)

Fun Anecdotes: Billy Bean the Restaurateur

• Clarification about the difference between Billy Beane (Moneyball GM) and Billy Bean, the ballplayer (B-E-A-N). Then a tangent about a Miami Cuban restaurant he owned.

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5. Golf and Gambling: PGA Picks and Betting Sidebars

[50:38–53:33]

• Dan and Matt exchange PGA Championship picks, discuss the fun of head-to-head golf matchups as opposed to outright bets.
• Gambling banter with a “just pick three names” method.

  “You don’t need to know every guy’s putting stats on Bermuda greens… Don’t overthink it.” (51:30)

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6. The Mel Brooks Rule — Comedy, Tragedy, and Cruises

[53:37–61:33]

Absurd News: Elderly Woman Drives Off Dock

• Dan applies the “Mel Brooks rule,” distinguishing tragedy from comedy, to a bizarre news story:

  “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.” (53:48)

• Rundown of an 88-year-old woman driving her mobility scooter into the water while on a cruise.
• Dan and Matt riff on the many oddities and possible accident scenarios.

Tangent: Why Dan Hates Cruises

• Dan lists motion sickness, norovirus, the “social petri dish” aspect, and a dislike of being “trapped” as reasons:

  “I’d have a sense of claustrophobia…just sounds like torture.” (61:28)

• Matt counters with positive cruise experiences and debates over vacationing styles.

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7. Nostalgia and Inside Stories

[61:33–67:14]

On Travel, Remote Broadcasts, and Wacky Bars

• The episode closes with several minutes of old stories from road trips, including a strange late-night bar adventure in Tucson:

  “It was like a Tarantino movie…And luckily, we only stayed there for four hours.” (66:19)

• Shared laughter and podcast friendship moments.

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Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• On the Bulls’ opportunity:

  “You are never, maybe never going to have a better opportunity in the market to deal than the Bulls have right now.” — Dan Bernstein (03:39)

• On unpredictability in the NBA:

  “You want to be a wild card? You want to be unpredictable as an executive?...Listen to everybody who calls. Make your own calls. The bottom line, and my headline is don’t allow this opportunity…the primacy of a new regime—there’s a power in that.” — Dan Bernstein (09:19, 16:28)

• On Cubs’ defense:

  “Every single game, Pete Crow-Armstrong does something defensively that just blows your damn mind.” — Dan Bernstein (23:01)

• On Ole Miss:

  “‘Ole’ means antebellum. That’s what ol means. It’s not New Miss. They don’t like New Miss because that’s what new Miss is—pretending they didn’t do any of that stuff.” — Dan Bernstein (32:26)

• On Dodgers’ Pride night & Kershaw:

  “I hope he’s bothered by this. I hope Clayton Kershaw has to find some way to reconcile the fact that his team…is doing this despite everything that he happens to stand for.” — Dan Bernstein (42:38)

• On the Mel Brooks rule:

  “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Right. So we know that’s the rule.” — Dan Bernstein (53:48)

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Key Takeaways

• The Bulls’ new front-office leadership creates a rare “unknown quantity” advantage in draft and trade discussions—Graham should aggressively use it while it lasts.
• In times of change, unpredictability and information-gathering are valuable even if no immediate action is taken.
• The Cubs’ season is a statistical rollercoaster, but fundamentals are sound; enjoy defensive excellence and don’t obsess over brief slumps.
• College football’s entrenched culture wars and recruiting ground realities reflect broader American demographic shifts.
• Sports organizations recognizing LGBTQ+ contributors move the culture forward, despite resistance.

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Final Thoughts

Dan delivers sharp, self-aware Chicago sports commentary with humor and candor, oscillating between tactical sports analysis and personal, often hilarious tangents. The advice to Bulls management is clear: be open, be bold, and use the unique position of a new front office to chart a new course for the franchise.

Transcript

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Dan Bernstein Unfiltered Unfiltered on 312 Sports

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DBU on 312 is brought to you by Chicago Window Guys. Our friend Russ Armstrong can be reached at 847-302-9171. Then you can talk to him about getting Windows. Check out his five star [e-mail] and we're brought to you in partnership with my bookie. So we're we're going to quickly get to the silly stage of the Bulls now having the 4th overall pick and the 15th overall pick and everything else there are, there's some absolutely impossible and one sided trades that are out there as possible. Now if mock drafts is one thing, but to have entire list of mock trades is hysterical. So we are in the this time of keep adding bad together and the more bad you add together in a big blob, apparently you can trade that for good. Everything that I've seen that has been offered is an immediate hang up from another team. If the Bulls are calling like if I just put Patrick Williams and Rob Dillingham and Isaac Okoro and a bunch of stuff together, will you give us something of value, that's worth way more than what I'm giving you. So the answer is probably no. But I keep getting back to this. You are never, maybe never going to have a better opportunity in the market to deal than the Bulls have right now. This is not an argument for trading up. This is not an argument for trading down. I want that really clear that I'm not saying the Bulls must do this or must do this. All I'm stating is an observation that when you have somebody brand new running the entire operation, when you just walk into the poker game and sit down and people kind of look at each other like, who's this guy? They don't know you. They don't know your tendencies, they don't know your tells. Sure. When it comes to Bryson Graham, you've got people in New Orleans who have worked with him, you have people in Atlanta who've worked with him, but he's never run a team before. This gives you an immense advantage in a marketplace where people could obviously. Arturis Karnishova spent his entire career getting his ass handed to him in trades. For the most part, other than arguably the Caruso for giddy deal and maybe some, if you look at, he gave up Too much for DeMar DeRozan, he ended up giving up too much for Nicola Vucevic. There are couple other deals. He ended up giving picks back because he was in violation of NBA rules, but getting a whole slew of second round picks for a half a team, I'm happy to have somebody else in that chair who might do a little bit better job against his counterparts. And when people start to know you or start to think that you operate in a certain way, it just puts more information into the bloodstream. It allows people to understand, oh, he's offering this, but they are, they're not going to do this. They would never do this. And because we've already got intelligence from this side and this side and this side, and we know that he's overrating this guy. He, that's his draft pick. So he's going to keep this guy. And that's, that's how this all works, is when the phone rings, you have people in a room trying to understand what's going on on the other end of the line, which is harder to do when you just walked in. So all I'm advocating is to use this position advantageously, even if your desire is to do nothing. And your first choice is we're going to use the number four pick and we're going to use the number 15 pick. And we're going to set our board and we're going to stick to our. Whatever scouting this new regime has done and whatever scouting they've done of the previous scouting that's been made available to them. But you can go now to watch the NBA pre draft workouts. You can go to all your pro days with fresh eyes and a fresh reputation. There's no book on you as a front office. Nobody knows your tendencies. That's an advantage. It's an advantage even if you only end up learning more and, or establishing relationships. If you take the long view, and that's an EVP's job, that is Graham's job is. And he has the luxury of taking the long view. I would love it in the market right now if you had. And we'll know it from the rumors, I think we'll know it from, from real rumors, from people who are plugged in. If you start seeing things about the possibility of, you know, bulls trading up, bulls trading down. I want to read rumors on, across the spectrum because that tells me that when the phone rings, you're picking it up. Listen, because you got to value your own players here. You want to see every name put out there. It's sort of like the old baseball revocable waivers thing when you wouldn't believe the number of people on waivers who are placed on waivers and pulled back. When you want to see what teams want this player, what teams want that player, where somebody's valued, what would they give up up for this guy or that guy, et cetera. When you get free opportunities to gather league wide intelligence over your own players, use it. Use it. At the very least, and I'm going to have to keep saying this, I'm not advocating for a trade necessarily, not that I'd be against one. But the point is at this stage of the, they haven't even begun to begin the rebuild yet. You better be actively talking to people. And privately you can say, I don't want to trade anybody, but I want everybody to think I'd trade anybody. You want to be a wild card? You want to be unpredictable as an executive? Yeah, you know what, why don't we call Graham? We never know what he's going to do. You know what, that's a, that 15 pick is interesting for me because this is a deeper draft than I thought. Somebody's going to fall in love with somebody, man. And what it also does when you're on the clock, who knows if, if Memphis takes Boozer and you end up getting Caleb Wilson, great. Done. Perfect. Good. But if, if Peterson's gone, Devonta is gone and Wilson's gone. And if you're, if you got to take Boozer because you think you got to take him, that's not a reason to take somebody. No, it's not. I don't like that. I don't like the. Yeah, we can't be the team that passed on him because he's. Well, you know, he's polished and he, we know he's going to be good. I want them to take in this draft with their assets. Look at this like you're in control. You have agency in this. You're not a passive observer of, well, that's how it all fell, and that's kind of what we did. Don't look fatalistically. And I want, I don't want Bryson Graham thinking about that. You've got opportunities here. You have some power in this. You have some agency. You have cards to play here. Do it. And it may be the case where you're on the clock with that 4 pick. Looking at the likelihood of taking Boozer, maybe there's something we're not even thinking about, about how this could be turned around to benefit them. If. Or maybe he loves Boozer, can't wait to get him. And the whole thing is like, boy, they're going to talk somebody else up and we'll hear them and we'll hear the. Them whispering that they love somebody else. And if you know that there's, if there's a team that might crave whoever is available at 4 who you don't necessarily want and you can be player X. I don't want to. It's easier if I make this a neutral point without using actual names in here. So it may just be like, hey, man, I know they want this guy and they're going to pay through the nose so they can take this guy. Let's. Let's just see. Let me pick up the phone and call over there, see if, see, see what they might offer. Because you got it. You have to think aggressively. Even if your larger philosophy is going to be slower and is going to. And you're going to maybe change the timing and maybe you say, hey, maybe we delay the onset of our competitive phase a year because we can take a step back to take two forward. We can all. What are they doing? They're trading people away. I don't, I wouldn't mind that. I wouldn't mind some people being frightened or, or needing to reconcile where they thought their team was going to be from what the moves say about where they might be a big swing in a moment like this isn't out of the question and should never be out of the picture because you're not going to get these opportunities to be unknown for much longer. And that gives you an advantage because when they, when you finish texting, when you hang up the phone, they're wondering where you're coming from. They don't know you. You don't have a track record. These are valuable opportunities within the market. The way you carry on these conversations and, and concurrent overlaid dialogues. It's. There's some delicate work that has to be done. That's what you hire these guys to do. And I find that really exciting going into this draft, let alone just like looking at all the names. Hell, there's some names at 15 where you're thinking, hey, you know, and have they not even gotten that pick? Just the 15 alone. Somebody's going to fall who's pretty good. I don't, I really don't think Ade Mara is going to be down there based on everything, which is too bad because he wasn't on anybody's board even really going into the season. And all of a sudden we get here and it's like, oh, he's 73 and is a really good passer and actually is a better athlete than he looks, and he runs well and he's smart and understands spacing and all that. Yeah, that's a lottery pick and maybe even a higher lottery pick than some might know that these workouts are going to change everything. It's just the more I let my head go on some of these things, I'm realizing what a moment this is for the Bulls and what it could be to be sitting on what they've got. Looking at four picks in this draft, including the number four, and how this, this could be used to make a bold splash that sets everything up. And maybe it involves using the 4 pick, but nobody on this roster has any commitment from the people running the Bulls right now. You can mention whatever names you want, talk it all through however you want, but this, this. Listen to everybody who calls. Make your own calls. The bottom line, and my headline is don't allow this opportunity. The freshness, the novelty, the primacy of the onset of a new regime, there's a power in that. There's some hidden advantages in that that you shouldn't be afraid to use. And it does appear that Michael Reinsdorf's risk appetite is maybe higher than some expected. Jerry Krause was allowed to do that. Jerry Krause had all kinds of free reign when he could fire a coach and name the assistant the head coach and float the Scottie Pippen trade and then have a Scottie Pippen trade agreed to and then pull that thing back. We're talking about that deal with Seattle, not to mention the draft of Eddie Curry and Tyson Chandler. You know, it didn't necessarily work, but the ideas behind it and some of the bold moves involved. The Bulls used to be known for bold moves and that's sort of lost in this. We make fun of Jerry Krause and his appearance and his bumbling coughing and all that stuff. But man, when it came time to trade Charles Oakley because he knew they needed a defensive minded veteran center who could they kick everybody's ass, including his own teammates. And Bill Cartwright done. When Dennis Rodman was toxic lunatic. Nobody wants him around. The Bulls trade for him. At the peak of Will Perdue's value, they swap him for Rodman. Here we go. Here's what is going to be the difference between the first three championships and the second three. This is the difference. We're trading for him right now. Deal with it. Figure it out. Oh my God. Dennis, right? What's he going to do? Well, I trust my coach, I trust my star player. They'll make this thing work. Bold moves will define champions. Is this the year for the Bulls to think that way? It might be. And you can't let the fact that you haven't even. You don't even have a front office right now. You don't have a coach, you don't have a front office. But that's where this kind of trust and tolerance for risk is going to come in. Because you just might have something in front of you that changes the course of Bull's history. It's whether or not you got the guts to do it. And actual Bulls history does suggest that some of those things can be rewarded. So it's exciting and we're going to get into a lot of the details of some of these things and maybe, maybe indulge some of the rumor mongering. I don't know if we will. We will deign to indulge some of that on organizations win championships, which we're going to record later. The NBA playoffs we were watching last night can be easy money at my bookie if you stop overthinking it. You don't need a crazy parlay of any kind and you don't need a spreadsheet. You just need a team that you trust and man, I gave you the Spurs a couple of months ago. And even when Wemby is not at his absolute oh my God. Jaw dropping best and you watch what you know, Stefan Castle could be a burgeoning star. I think Dylan Harper might have some star in him too. We saw a little bit of that last night with their complimentary pieces that know what they have to do when they're on it. Man. Good luck. I have a feeling your NBA championship is going to be spurs and Thunder. That's your. That's your de facto finals. You're just going to get it when you get it. So pick a team to back and ride the teams built to win. You can let the playoffs do the rest. If you're new to my bookie. If you've never made a deposit, there's even less reason to sit this one out because of our code. DBU for Dan Bernstein unfiltered. Any bet you choose up to 500 fully covered. Make your play. If it doesn't hit, you get it right back when you opt in using your bet back bonus token. So pick your squad, take the shot. Don't just watch the playoffs. Cash in on them only at MyBookie with Verbocare.

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We have not done shows on DBU during a baseball season fully yet. We started August 25th last year. Is that right? So we started August 25th. So we're already well through the entire season. We're what, April, May, June, July? Yeah, we were 2/3 of the way through the season before we even got started last year. So I don't think you, the Dan Bernstein unfiltered listener, has. Has heard my reminder about baseball. So I have to do it in this space as well. And that is, relax, chill out, it's okay. Bad teams have winning streaks. Good teams have losing streaks. Any player can hit anything over 60 plate appearances. Great players can be awful. Awful players can be historic over 60 plate appearances. There is variance in baseball. All of these cliches. Momentum is tomorrow's starting pitcher. These are human beings. It is really, really hard to hit a baseball. Hitting isn't contagious. Pitching isn't contagious. Don't believe in any of the canards that you're going to hear to make you feel better about these things. A lot of it is just randomness. It's just statistical noise. It's just variance. And that is why when we look at rate stats and we try to grab big data sets to help us understand how good someone is at baseball, how good a team is at baseball. I am confident right now in saying the Cubs are a very, very, very good baseball team. The comps to 2016 might be a reach because that was an all timer but I know where we are sort of co mingling things right now because oh my God, the Cubs are Good. It's the 10 year anniversary. There's all sorts of things going on but this, this team, the 2026 team can be good in its own way, in its own right. And they, I know they haven't scored in a week, whatever it's been and it sucks. But when you trust the people involved to keep going about their business and that's all, that's all they're ever going to say and it's all they do say. Talk to Bregman, talk to Ian Happ, talk to Dansby Swanson. It is about routine. It is about making sure you are ready for the next moment. And that's the blessing of baseball is you always have those next moments. You wake up the next day and you know what, you have a game and you can keep doing what you're doing. And the Cubs are, they were statistically overheated. They were due for the steam to come out for a market correction. Everything we talk about in that regard and that's kind of what's happening and it's okay. I know you get frustrated. I get frustrated too. Everybody does. But I'm sure it's fine outside of injuries of course. And that's why the Cubs particularly playing over all of these pitching injuries, that's part of what's coming home to roost a little bit. A lot of metaphors here but the you know Colin Ray is going to be Colin Ray at some point. He's not a star. He's just, he isn't and you should thank him and give him a big wet smooch on the cheek for the job that he's done for you to this point. Eventually you need your, your players to be your star players. You need your hitters to hit. I'm we're not too far removed from the cringe worthy comment by Jed Hoyer. If you remember after a couple of years like boy, we we just don't have anybody having outlier years or playing better than their their career numbers would suggest because we need some over performance. I don't think they need over performance anymore. I think if Everybody does what they should be reasonably expected to do. The Cubs will win 94 games as we expected to start the season and win the division. So there's nothing wrong with still thinking. That is my larger point. It is absolutely okay. It doesn't mean you got to be happy when you watch some of these baseball games, but every single game, Pete Crowe Armstrong does something defensively that just blows your damn mind. Every game. Every game. There are so few baseball players like that. This is, this isn't normal. So make sure that you're appreciating that. Make sure you're enjoying that. When you get used to watching him moving the way that he does, he's PCA is going to put himself in a realm. If he can get the most out of what his body can do, he's. He's really going to be in the realm of special Chicago athletes. Just forget the sport, just whatever. Like the way his, the way he can fast twitch, respond, slow twitch, glide and do it all stylishly. He is, he's going to be on that short list, not just a baseball, but of some of these memorable Chicago professional athletes because of, of the gifts that he has. And watching him patrol that enormous swath of green alone, you know, it's not like football where it's like, oh, look at the hand placement of the left tackle as they, they brought the tight end over to help and look at the shape of the pocket here. And he makes this move and re anchored like he. You don't have to look at somebody operating in a phone booth. Here you are watching him alone fly across all of that space. And that puts him in a lot of the concert end up being football comps. I compared him to Erlacher yesterday. If you want to talk about, you know, the way Devin Hester would move and when you can actually see somebody in a, over a large space of action. When we talk about, you know, when watching, watching Patrick Kane skate and stick handle his way through and around people that these are, these are things to appreciate. Where a lot of his catches, a lot of his routine plays are. They're, they're. Now we feel they're mundane. It's just how he plays. It's just kind of what he does. Don't get used to it. Don't get used to it. It's, it's, it's ridiculous. It's almost at the point now where, and I think I've heard this said before, there are some people who say if he can't get to it, it's not catchable. I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. If he can't get to is simply not a catchable ball by the best baseball players in the world because you there's nothing that's off the table. There's, there's no ball that is hit where you don't think he's got a chance to run it down, may not make the play but where, where it is in the realm of possibility at the very edges of his range where we haven't really seen him go a whole lot. But and just to think oh boy, there's a, that is somehow he's going to get there. He's going to be there that his, his glove is going to be within catching distance of that ball. It's just been really fun. Defense doesn't shouldn't slump and that is when you do hit a losing streak when you know over the 162 it matters tremendously. It's not, it's not as sexy as home runs or you know, three consecutive doubles or a triple or you know a a bloop sack fly because PCA is the guy at third. But it's okay. I think things will be fine. I think the Cubs are a well constructed team that has been able to ride the highs of some players, cover up the lows of some other players. And I know that Craig Council appreciates, understands and knows everything that I'm saying right now. So there I'm not worried.

[C]

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[E]

Armstrong makes sure I'm not worried about the upcoming hot hot summer. What they say in the 80s by the end of this weekend I'm ready for it. Damn it. Because I have low emissivity double paned windows all over my home and they have been placed there by Russ Armstrong and Russ's crew at Chicago Window. Guys you can have the same. All you got to do is call them 847-302-9171 or check out his 5 star reviews at ChicagoNowBeyond.com he will match any price. And if you do have anxiety like I do and I've got Like I've clinical, diagnosed anxiety. And one of the things that has always bothered me is, am I getting the best deal? And then there are these, you know, these browser extensions you can add that. They'll say, well, we'll, we'll cross check this against every other deal out there to make sure you're getting the best deal. And even then I'm like, but I

[D]

don't want to leave money on the table.

[E]

I don't want to get screwed. I don't want to be a schmuck. I don't want to. The thing about the way Russ does business is he, he has no problem if you want to go out and get all the numbers and hear everything that you hear from these giant marketing companies that masquerade as window makers. So go ahead and then call Russ or you call Russ first and then do the other stuff. And you're going to double back to Russ anyway, I promise you, because he's going to match any price. And you get to work with Russ instead of working with a call center and working with a place that's representing a place that is takes your call and then farms you out to somebody else. Russ is the owner of the factory. His factory is right here in Chicago. He'll give you an estimate. He knows what, what it costs him to make the windows. So he's got everything. So the process of working with Russ is as easygoing and stress free as can possibly be. So call him 847-302-9171. Check out his 5 star reviews at ChicagoNowGuys.com I am so entertained by what's going on in college football right now. It is hysterically funny to me. First of all, Ole Miss is just taking shots from everybody right and left. So Lane Kiffin, who left Ole Miss to go to LSU and now is talking about what the difference between recruiting to Ole Miss and recruiting to LSU and other coaches are then jumping in to be like, well, sure, I think Steve Sarkisian is the other just saying, hey, it's easy to recruit to Ole Miss because you don't have to go to class ever because their academic standards are garbage. And now. So Archie Manning is now racing to the defense of his school. I'm very proud of my school. My school had to make changes years ago and did. And that comes from Lane Kiffin saying something that I didn't really think was controversial. I didn't think it was disputed, nor did I think it was controversial. In an interview with Vanity Fair, Lane Kiffin said that black families were hesitant to send their children to Oxford, Mississippi. Okay. Right. Is that news? It's Ole Miss. Your symbol.

[D]

Your.

[E]

The rebel flag. You're the Rebels. You're the. You were the. Like, one of the last discordant, impossible representations of the actual Confederacy. I don't think I have to go back to tell you what the Confederacy stood for and what they wanted and for what they fought and. And gave the lives of hundreds of thousands of young men so they could keep their traditions and their lifestyle of choice.

[D]

Hey, stop bringing Bo Gardner into this.

[E]

Kiffin.

[D]

That. That.

[E]

That might be the Bears long snapper, who decided as a fine, right Southern gentleman. So he said, like, hey, coach, we really like you, but my grandparents aren't letting me move to Oxford, Mississippi, because that doesn't come up when you say Baton Rouge. Louis parents are sitting here this weekend saying the campus's diversity feels so great. It feels like there's no segregation. And we want that for our kid because that's the real world. Okay? And. And yes, anything. Wait a second here. You had to be. Ole Miss had to be forced to drop their. Their. Whatever it is, Colonel racist or whatever. They're. They're. They're white suited rebel. They had to be forced kicking and screaming to stop waving the stars and bars at their games. This is now. Like, how dare he say these things about Ole Miss? Even the name is southern and weird Miss. Like, you can't say University of Mississippi. You can't even say the name because it's too difficult. Ole Miss. Oh. They. Oh, man. Oh. You know what oh means? Old means antebellum. That's what ol means. It's not New Miss. They don't like New Miss because that's what new Mrs. Is pretending that they didn't do any of that stuff. Oh, Rebel flag. We don't know anything about that mascot. The mascot who was probably a guy that sat on a porch sipping mint juleps, making sure all the tobacco got picked. No, no, no, no. Forget him. No, no, no, no. That's. No. We're New Miss now. No, you're not. You love the old. You love the. Come on. Don't pretend you don't love that stuff. So Liam Kiffin forced to then follow up. And I like the way he did it. He said, I just hope my comment comes across respectful to Ole Miss. There are some things I'm saying that are factual. They're not shots. Yes. I don't think so. To apologize for anything. Gotta ameliorate some of this stuff. And. And he's gotta soothe the ruffled feathers. How dare he say that about Ole Miss. Come on, man. That's the. That's the world. Why do you think. What do you think so many kids will immediately after college? Where do they want to move? They want to move where the world is everybody worried about brain drain? Well, that kid was the first in our family to go to college and he went away from the farm and. Or she went to college and then she just wants to live in the city now. Of course she does. She's not an idiot. You want to go back and have to buy produce at a dollar store. She want to go back home where there's no doctor within 100 miles. Come on. She wants to go back home and live in someplace where she doesn't have any rights. Please, you make. This is. This is all right in front of you. And somehow only in college football only. How dare they impugn. Come on. You don't think that he's telling. Of course he's telling the truth. Are you mad that he's telling the truth about where people want to live and why they want to live there Now? I'm not going to get in any kind of high dudgeon about the quality of classes that the football players are taking now. That's funny. Well, you can take basket weaving and Ole Miss and here you got to go to class all the time. Mix things really hard. You got to get good grades here in classes. No, you don't. Talk to football players sometime. Talk to when they are told. Here are the three majors you can pick. I'd really like to be a biochemistry and economics double major. No. Come on.

[D]

No.

[E]

That's cute, kid. No, you're not doing that. You don't have time for that. It happens all the time. Happens at all these schools. I don't care where you go. I know. I. Believe me. The stuff that I heard that happened at Duke for when I was there, even for basketball and people like, oh, I. I'd like to play and major in. In Russian and economics. No, you're majoring in sociology. Oh, well, I'm transferring. Then that happened. And there are. There are all kinds of easements made for players at all of these universities. And don't pretend that that doesn't happen. But it's just amazing to me that Lane Kiffin is simply stating a truth. It's easier for me to recruit these families to a place where they can live, where people are nicer to them or the world looks more comfortable and real and welcoming to them. That's why people make decisions to live in certain places rather than other places. Is this so hard? I didn't think so. I could be wrong, of course, but I didn't. I didn't think that was the case. Hey, man in and for Lane Kiffin to say it, you got to back it up if. Because now he's saying you haven't. You have an easier job recruiting now. Well, now you can't miss on guys. Get old miss on guys. So go ahead. But only in this sport are you going to find people in Oxford, Mississippi are angry about demographic facts and the way people feel about it. It's okay. You can choose to live wherever you want. You want to live there. Awesome. You like it. Not yucking your yum. If that makes you happy. That's where you want to raise your children and that's what. Where you want to have your football team. Okay. And then other people can make their decisions, too. And that is also okay. I want to get back to baseball, and there is something quietly that happened that I think absolutely deserves to be applauded. And I want to thank the Dodgers for doing what they're doing. The Dodgers are having their annual Pride night on June 5th. A lot of teams do Pride nights. Last one I went to was the Blackhawks Pride Night this year. We had a great time. I thought they did a really good job. The Dodgers this year have announced that they will be installing a tribute to LGBTQ plus trailblazers Billy Bean and Glenn Burke, who both played for the Dodgers and were among the first professional athletes to identify as gay. The permanent display will be housed in the center field plaza and feature pictures and memorabilia from their careers and text explaining the duo's contributions to Major League Baseball and to professional sports. Great. Now this is what Craig Calcatera had to say about this. If you haven't heard of Glenn Burke before, we know who who Bean is. Burke played outfield for the Dodgers and the A's in the late 70s. He was the first and as far as we know, the only gay MLB player to be out to his teammates and team ownership during his career, even if he was not out to the general public. He's also reputed to be the inventor of the high five. Said, if I remember correctly, some dispute about that. I want to say that it was Dusty Baker and Glenn Burke. He died from complications of AIDS in 1995, and people who were close to him believed that he was run out of the league because of his homosexuality. And there are people who believe that Tommy Lasorda was on the wrong side of history in large part of that regard. We're not going to get into that, the entire history of that. But I would say that Lasorda was not an ally. And there was a documentary that was made about him talking about his legacy. And then the Oakland A's renamed their Pride Night. Glenn Burke, Pride Night. That was in 2021. The Dodgers honored him for the first time in 2022, holding a ceremony before the game. They had members of his family throw the first pitch. They gave away a Pride themed Dodgers jersey in his honor. They've continued to do the jersey thing. So good on the Dodgers for doing this. And also, you know, Billy Bean, who was the second major leaguer to ever come out, he did that publicly. And then he was an executive focusing on diversity and inclusion. So this is a permanent honor for both of them. Obviously, it's well done by the Dodgers. And I mentioned that as the Cubs were down in Texas and what they did to take the statue of the violent, racist, former actual Texas Ranger out of the airport and install it at their park in Texas as a. As a thumb in the eye to people, that was just the opposite of this was just being gross to be gross. So for those who say, oh, why don't they have a monument to straight people? They do. You can. You can go and salute the violent, racist cop that has a statue in Texas that makes you happy. Well, in la, they're not doing that. And one of the greatest players in Dodgers history is going to be unhappy about this. And I love it. I love the fact that Clayton Kershaw, after his spectacular career, I love the Clayton Kershaw who made his brand to be homophobia when he decided that he was going to protest in his own way on Pride Night, that he was going to write things on his hat, write Bible verses and talking about reclaiming the rainbow. All of these coded and not so coded ways of saying that he doesn't approve of who you are, and it's up to him. He gets to say that you're either okay or you're not okay based on what he thinks. I hope. I hope he's bothered by this. I hope he's bothered by this. I do. I hope that Clayton Kershaw has to find some way to reconcile the fact that his team, his. His logo, his Dodger blue is doing this despite everything that he happens to stand for. So good for the Dodgers. Good on them for doing this. I think it's great.

[D]

You know, I think it's important to know, too, that. Because you mentioned that people know Billy Bean. I'm not sure if everyone knows that there were two Billy Beans within baseball.

[E]

Correct. This is B, E, A N without an E. Just B, E, A N the outfielder.

[D]

And then Billy Bean with the E is the, you know, made famous through Moneyball, obviously, with the Oakland A's.

[E]

Yeah, Billy Bean. And actually you weren't. I don't think you were with us at the time. Or maybe you were when we took a trip to Miami for. What were we there for? It was. It might have been a Super Bowl.

[D]

The only time we went to Miami was the Super bowl in 07.

[E]

And we went to. You and I went to Fort Lauderdale with the Cubs.

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's right. We were there also.

[E]

Right. And I. But were you with us when we went to. We went to Billy Bean's restaurant in Miami.

[D]

Doesn't ring a bell.

[E]

No, it was. He and his, I think is. He and his partner had a Cuban restaurant that was spectacular. And I forgot exactly what the name of it was, but he was involved in an. Oh, he was part of the ownership group.

[D]

Okay.

[E]

That, that. And we. And we went to it. It was great.

[D]

And this is Billy being the outfielder?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was. He was a restaurateur and he. I think it was called Yuka was the name of the restaurant. Y U, C A. Do you remember that?

[D]

Yeah, I know that name sparks a

[E]

memory because he was. He was dating Efrain Veiga, who was Cuban, and. And they both became restaurateurs. And I just. I. I so did.

[D]

Yeah. Did we do dinner when we were there for the Cubs trip?

[E]

I don't remember if it was that trip or not, but I just, I remember it being really good.

[D]

It was like, well, yeah, Miami for the super bowl and then for the Cubs playoff when we got zero guests to come on.

[E]

Except that's not true. We got Andy McPhail. Except Andy McDale.

[D]

He was the last guy that I asked and was the last guy that came on. The only guy that came on.

[E]

That's not true. Can you name the other guest? We had another guest on Gene Klein's base coach. Was he first base coach?

[D]

Oh, yeah, that's right. No players. Let me say this. No players came on.

[E]

They all know.

[D]

But.

[E]

And I also remember when we came down to the lobby at like one in the morning or like midnight and they were. No, no, no, no. We were out.

[D]

We were going back up to the rooms. So we got to the elevator at like one in the Morning and the doors opened up and Grudzellanic and Caros came walking off fully dressed. And we said, hey, fellas, where you. Where you going? It's kind of late be going out, isn't it? They're like, oh, we're going to the hotel bar for dinner.

[E]

Huh?

[D]

Which closed four hours ago. But sure, right. Enjoy that.

[E]

Have fun, guys.

[D]

Yeah, that was the Castle. That was a Thursday night. Because then the Friday game, we were on the flight home and that was when who The. The bench guy got the game winning hits. Shoot, he used to do a lot of stuff on tv. God, we can't remember his name.

[E]

Oh, God. Well, Eric Caros did a lot of tv. Wait, bench guy got the game winning hit?

[D]

Yeah. It was a Friday. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[E]

And turn your back on Holly Nephi Perez.

[D]

You know, I do remember Yuka, though, that name. Yeah, sounds really familiar to me.

[E]

Was it Nephi Perez hit the home run at St. Louis? Remember the game ending grand slam that stuck in the. In the fence above the yellow line.

[D]

Oh, yes, I remember that.

[E]

I remember that nephew parade. So who are you thinking of?

[D]

Was not nephew Perez?

[E]

Why can I not remember who this was?

[D]

I'll think of it. You know, yesterday I was listening back to something on Forward Progress. Yeah. And when you, when you said on the show about Terry getting angry over the SI article. Yes, I remembered it distinctly then.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

Yes. I mean, the second you. I heard you say it and I was listening back to it, I'm like, I remember. I think we were on remote, weren't we? And he was like irate. He came in.

[E]

Yes.

[D]

Oh, my God, he was so angry. And we were just laughing at him.

[E]

We're like, terry, it's fan sided. It's just a fan. It's okay. Don't even bother.

[D]

Yeah. Don't be upset about it.

[E]

And he wanted to do like a whole bit. Okay. Do you want. Do you want the Cubs bench in 03?

[D]

Yeah, go ahead.

[E]

All right, here's the bench. Ramon Martinez. Hysop Choi. Kenny Lofton, Paul Baco. Troy o'. Leary. Tom Goodwin. Mark Bellhorn, Lenny Harris. Randall Simon. Jose Hernandez.

[D]

It's a good one.

[E]

Jose Hernandez. Doug Glanville.

[D]

Oh, Doug Landill. That's who it was. Yeah, I know. I couldn't remember his name. Yeah, he had the game winning hit.

[E]

Okay.

[D]

We were like on a flight home Friday afternoon and he had the game winner on that, if I remember that all correctly.

[E]

I think you're right.

[D]

But I remember, like, even he told me No, I remember getting so angry that he was like. I remember going back into that room. We were set up at, like, little conference room.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

I'm like, even Doug Glanville said, no, this is. Ouch.

[E]

Ouch. Oh, no.

[D]

Yeah. Then we did get Annie McPhail, who tried telling me no because he said, that's Jim Hendry's thing. Go get Jim. And I'm like, well, Jim already told me no.

[E]

Right. Jim would only go on with Murph.

[D]

Yeah. And I said, if you don't do it, then I'm gonna get fired. That'll be on your hands. So.

[E]

And then he came up and he was good.

[D]

He was great. Oh, no, it was fantastic.

[E]

Yeah, he was really, really good, if I remember correctly.

[D]

Yeah, that's right.

[E]

It was.03.

[D]

So. All right, so 03. We were down there. I think that's when we did Yuka. Right?

[E]

I think we did. But I. I thought I was there with Greg Lane and that would be before your time.

[D]

No, I was like, Greg Lane.

[E]

Oh, you were?

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

Had.

[D]

You was with us in. He was with us in Vegas in 04.

[E]

Okay, so you did. We did go to Yucca together, I think. I think I had their version of Europa Vieja. That was.

[D]

Yeah, I remember. I remember that name now.

[E]

Okay. Yes. You're having, like, these delayed memories that,

[D]

you know, so long ago. I just. My whole. All I'm doing is looking forward to the calendar and what games I got to be at and where the fields are and how much gas I'm using. That's when. When I have a night free that can take my wife out on a date. That's like. That's where my brain is right now.

[E]

I don't remember the past.

[D]

I mean, 23 years ago, a dinner I had with you and Greg Lane. Hey, man. Yeah, I gotta dig deep for that one.

[E]

I remember what I ordered. Hey, betting golf doesn't have to mean throwing a dart at an outright and sweating for four days, because in my bookie, you want to bet the whole tournament, you can. Not just the trophy. Pick a head to head matchup. You can bet the round, follow the cut line. You can wait for Sunday. You can jump on somebody making a charge. PGA Tour. Betting is better when you keep it simple. With my bookie. So last night, out of nowhere, Jason walks up to me and he goes, give me three names for the pga. Like what? He goes, right now give me three names and you can have them. He said, don't look at the odds. Just give me your three Names. So I. Did I give you. Oh, yeah. I can't believe I'm doing this. Akshay Batia.

[D]

This is to win the PGA Championship.

[E]

I guess he just wanted three names.

[D]

Okay, okay.

[E]

Akshay Batia. Chris got her up. And Victor Hovland. Okay, don't ask me why you want names. There's three names. Akshay Batia. Chris got her up. Victor Hovland. Now, you don't need to know every guy's putting stats on Bermuda greens or whatever it is. You don't have to become a weather guy if you just need a little extra to sweeten the deal. You need this. You need this code. DBU. Dan Bernstein, unfiltered DBU. Then your first bet is covered up to $500 when you make that first. First deposit. And that way, if it misses, you get it right back. So there's no worries. Don't overthink it. Find your angle. Make your pick. Cash in at my bookie.

[D]

You know, I actually did a little PGA play for this weekend. I saw that. That Rory, he left his practice round early because he has a blister under his toenail, which sounds awful.

[E]

Ow.

[D]

So he left a little early. And so what I did on my bookie G is, you know, they have these. The 72 whole matchups. I don't know if you looked at what they do. So you have Roy McElroy against Scotty Scheffler. And they each have odds, like who's going to have the better. Better four day appearance. Okay, so I took Scotty at a minus 161, and I also played Cam Young at a minus 102 over John Rom. So that's the matchup. John Rahm and Cam Young. Scotty scheffler and Roy McElroy. And I figured with that. That toe thing, he walked out after three holes of his practice round, was just bothering him too much. So I'm gonna go with Scotty Scheffler and over Rory McElroy and Cam Young over John Rom. So kind of a fun little, neat thing to keep an eye on, the PGA Championship, these matchups between two players to see who finishes better.

[E]

All right. That's a cool thing you're able to do and not really worry about the leaderboard and just say this. This guy's better than this guy.

[D]

Yep, for sure. So it's a little. Little fun, little twist to it.

[E]

All right, Now I'm going to. I might get myself in trouble here, but I have to do.

[D]

Oh, I say go for it, though.

[E]

You think so?

[D]

Oh yeah. This was great when I saw this yesterday.

[E]

Okay. All right. The Mel Brooks rule of comedy versus tragedy.

[D]

Yes, 100%.

[E]

And, and this is the Mel Brooks rule at work. It is. Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die. Right. So we know that that's the rule. That's what Mel Brooks said. So with that in mind, This from WJW Fox 8. An American woman visiting the Bahamas on a cruise died after losing control of her mobility scooter and driving into the water. That's the lead. That's the whole lead. Okay. According to the Royal Bahamas police force, the 88 year old woman arrived on Grand Bahama island aboard a Carnival cruise ship. The Carnival Celebration ship was visiting Celebration Key during a week long cruise when the incident occurred on May 9th. Now I, of course I imagined this ship steaming across the seas like her just doing a full yolo. They set up a ramp and she's like, that's it. If I'm going to go, I'm 88. This is, this is going to be Thelma and Louise and we're just, we're going and maybe there's a couple security people pretending to have give chase but. You salute and you do the, maybe fire a flaming arrow at that point. But that was not the case. The ship was in port and it just says she lost control of her mobility scooter and drove off the pier. She took a long ride on a short pier. And the police said a medical examiner will determine the cause and manner of her death. Now I am not a policeman, nor am I a qualified medical examiner, but I've got an educated guess certainly as to the manner of her death. It would have to do with driving her scooter off of a cruise ship into the water. I'm just thinking that unless we have some incredible coincidences going on, obviously possible, you can't rule out coincidences. But my guess is that that would be, that would be the manner of the death. And yeah, I mean there could be

[D]

something unfortunate of a medical incident that took place before she went off the cliff or the, the pier. Yes.

[E]

Or mechanical.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

It could be the accelerator stuck. I don't know how that works on an electric scooter.

[D]

The brakes failed.

[E]

Exactly. Or maybe they were tampered with. You ever think of that? Maybe somebody drained the brake fluid and away she went. I think it's then that now they're going to dig into the insurance policies and everything else. But I just think that the, the Cause and the manner of her death is probably driving the scooter off the pier and into the water. And I'll also say that this is. I'm just going to add this to my list. And all you really need to read is the David Foster Wallace essay, a supposedly Fun Thing I Will Never Do Again, which is the, the. The title of the book of the. The first collection of, of his essays. And it's about taking a cruise. I didn't have to read that to know that I'm. This is probably not for me, but the, the number of things that happen on, on cruises, like when even some of the commercials that I watch look like probably not for me. Probably probably not. And I'm just going to add this to the list because it's possible she just did this on purpose because she'd been on a cruise for too long and she'd been just around people and that's it. I've had enough. So long, suckers. We're out of here. And even though they were in port, you find an opportunity. So the more I think about it, too, when, if you're in port, if you fall, right, and you splash, you're not in the open sea, you're not out on the high seas, you're in port. Can't somebody, like, say, hey, throw a thing down there. The woman just went in the water. Like, you can get somebody down there. Can't you at least let me jump in and you know, put our arm around a swimmer over to hang on to something?

[D]

Yeah, you would, you would think. Yeah, that makes, you know, makes a great deal of sense. But I will disagree with you about the cruise things, though. I mean, you've never taken a cruise. No.

[E]

And won't.

[D]

And why, why is that?

[E]

What's the, the diarrhea? Like this one out of every six cruises, everybody gets diarrhea. So that's a part of it. Part of it is I only eat one meal.

[D]

I think you're making that. I think you're making that.

[E]

That up. I think I might have made that up. Yeah.

[D]

I think there's a lot of.

[E]

There's norovirus, there's all kinds of viruses. Now they got the, the rodent virus that everybody's terrified about, even though they shouldn't be and people are quarantined. I. It just, it.

[D]

So you think viruses all come from cruises?

[E]

I think that viruses spread more easily on cruises, and that's, that's well known. It's also being on a boat. I don't. I generally I have to be really full of. Of anti nausea, anti motion sickness drugs to be on a boat in the ocean. And I wouldn't want to be in that headspace for a week of being so drugged up just to make sure I'm not puking all over the place. It just. It's just no thank you after. No thank you after. No thank you for me.

[D]

So, yeah, I think that's. That's fine. But to. I think to diminish the quality of a cruise line or the vacation by going via cruise, I think it's pretty, Pretty strong. I understand where you're coming from with it, but. Yeah, my wife gets motion sickness, and she had zero issues on the two cruises that we've been on.

[E]

How. How is that possible?

[D]

You barely feel like you're moving on these giant boats.

[E]

Yeah, but it's. It's the slight rise and fall didn't

[D]

really feel a whole lot. The only time we felt it in the. When we were on our Italian cruise on the Viking Cruise line, which I would recommend to anyone and everyone who'd want to take a cruise. Viking is outstanding. We were going around the heel. That was the only time it actually felt like there was actually movement. For whatever reason. The waters were a little choppier there. Barely could tell that you're on a boat, you're in a giant luxury hotel. And even we took a Disney cruise. I was really impressed with the quality of the service and the cleanliness of the boats and the service from the people and the quality of the food. It was all great. Viking is just a plus, a plus, a plus all the way around.

[E]

I'm. I'm happy you enjoy. I'm happy you found something that. That you can enjoy. But to me, I would have sort of a larger sense of claustrophobia, the idea of being floating on the ocean with no control and no ability to escape.

[D]

I get it. I loved it. It was great. Well, there's boats to get off on, but I remember we took the. That little rowboat to that remote we did up here up north in the chain of lakes.

[E]

I thought you were gonna die, dude.

[D]

I thought you were going to Barney Island. Yes, I thought you were gonna die on the way there. I really. I mean, I've never seen a human turned this the color of skin that you turn.

[E]

No, no, no, that wasn't that. Because that. That's grass lake or whatever. That is deep.

[D]

It's the only time that we were on a boat together.

[E]

It couldn't have been that, because that wouldn't have bothered me. Five feet deep on a lake.

[D]

The only time we've ever been on a boat together was going to Blarney Island.

[E]

That was coming back. Was it windy? Did we have a lot of chop from the wind?

[D]

I just remember your skin color did not look humid. That's all I remember.

[E]

I just remember that day when we went off the air. They told everybody the sales is like, yeah, we sold it. We sold it. We sold it. You got to go do this remote. Said, we're on an island. How do we actually send the signal? We'll figure it out. And they set up, like, a Marty unit. We had.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

And we were completely off the air.

[D]

I thought you were gonna die, though. And. And then I realized it's. This is all it had taken. I would have gotten on a boat sooner. I would have looked for every remote possibility on an island. I would have. Yeah, we could have.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

I.

[E]

That, that. That would have been Fredo on Lake Tahoe is what that would have been. Yes, that would have been. Oh, I want to go fishing. Okay. I'm smart. I'm smart,

[D]

Eric.

[E]

Okay. All right, Bernstein, here you go. You get in the front. He's going to take you fishing out there on Lake Tahoe. You go enjoy. Yeah.

[D]

Then so and so, because you only eat one meal a day, too. You wouldn't do in, like, an all inclusive type situation because it's a waste of money for you.

[E]

Right.

[D]

Then eat more. No, you're on vacation. Eat more.

[E]

It doesn't. I want to do it makes me happy. Eat a life.

[D]

I want to eat a dinner. I mean.

[E]

No, but then you're around people. You don't have to be. I don't know. I don't know. Not just, just. It just sounds like torture, you know?

[D]

I don't ever want a vacation with other adults. Like, I'm not interested in doing that at all. Like, setting up, like, group vacations. I'm never. I never want to do that. Begin with. And you would be the last person on my list that I'd want to do a group vacation with.

[E]

Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. I'm actually easy on group vacations. I. You know what I do? This will shock you. I sit around maybe near the pool in the shade, doing crossword puzzles and reading books. I'll play some golf. I'll do.

[D]

We've traveled a lot together, and we didn't do any activities. It was all for work. But we were also drinking heavily, too, which made a significant difference.

[E]

Yeah. It made it awfully fun.

[D]

Yes, it did.

[E]

And usually the worse it got, we knew. We knew we could soldier through as long as we had a place to drink. Yes, every. Everything would be okay. All we needed, so we would figure it out. And then. Except the night that I got back to the hotel, and you and Jason were asleep in the car. That was in Tucson. And like, is every. Is everything okay here? Are. We. Are we just. Is. Did something happen in your room or. You can't be sleeping in your room.

[D]

No, that was. That was the night we were out. And then the guy. We asked someone. We asked the guy for directions. Jason's driving, and we rolled on the windows because he was. And then we. And Jason asked directions to go somewhere, and the guy looks right at Jason and goes, I don't speak any English.

[E]

You got the wrong guy. I don't speak a word of English.

[D]

That's what he said. And then Jason. I looked at each other, and, yeah, we were like, all right, this guy, he doesn't like black guys, so let's keep it moving.

[E]

Let's ask someone else.

[D]

Yes.

[E]

I think we asked the wrong. And then do you remember the. That we went to the sketchiest bar? It was open late. Late. And it was. It was like a desert, like, Quonset hut. And we go in there, and the woman who. Behind the bar, remember, she was. She started doing, like, gymnastics stuff.

[D]

Yes. And didn't have, like. Like a C section scar.

[E]

Yeah. But she was like, watch this. I can do a handstand. Behind the handstand. And, like, her. And then her shirt came off, and

[D]

we're like, oh, yeah. That was.

[E]

What the hell? And remember the people in there that weren't even. It was like a Tarantino movie.

[D]

Yeah. Body parts.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Facial features and. Yes.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

Like, you might have settled onto a movie set.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

And luckily, we only stayed there for four hours.

[E]

Four hours later, and after we'd exchanged contact information with everyone there. I think you were babysitting somebody's kids by the end of the night. You know, I had a business deal with the guy who was back there throwing the darts, holding the wrong end of the darts.

[D]

Like.

[E]

Yeah, that was something.

[D]

Yeah. That was like a movie scene.

[E]

That was scary. After this. Yeah.

[D]

Yeah, I remember that.

[E]

I don't even know. That was one of those things where you're not sure if you dreamt it or if it actually happened. Yeah. Like, is that a bar? Is that open?

[D]

That was bad.

[E]

And we walked over there. We had to walk really far because all we saw was some neon in the distance.

[D]

Oh, yes, that's right.

[E]

It's like. Is that a neon sign that might. There might be beer over there.

[D]

Yeah, neon sign is generally a good indication of alcohol.

[E]

So we walked in and there's, like, people, one of us there.

[D]

They drop people off after the medical experiments. Yeah.

[E]

Shock therapy. Yep. The lying down on the floor in there. Bring Steve another drink. Is he always like this? Oh, yeah.

[D]

Dump it all over his face.

[E]

He just. He just. He just sold too much of his blood plasma. Yeah, that happens to him. God. All right, that's Dan Bernstein unfiltered. And it has been brought to you by Chicago Window guys. So call Russ Armstrong at 847-302-9171. And in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein, unfiltered. Unfiltered on 312Sports.

[C]

Everybody talked about it since I first moved to Oregon. The big one. The earthquake that trashed the whole west coast. Total destruction.

[E]

Officially calling it the largest natural disaster in American history.

[C]

I just didn't know what would help me next. So I took it all. Even the gun. It was time.

[B]

Cello American Afterlife presented by Pair of thieves. The number one fiction and drama podcast in America.

[E]

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[C]

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