Chicago Cubs Push Their Chips In / White Sox Reward Strong First Half

Summary

Podcast Summary: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered — Aug 4, 2026

Episode: “Chicago Cubs Push Their Chips In / White Sox Reward Strong First Half”

Host: Dan Bernstein
Producer/Co-Host: (Name not definitively given, longtime Bernsie foil)
Podcast: 312 Sports

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Main Theme

This episode dives into the aftermath of the MLB trade deadline for Chicago’s two baseball teams. Dan Bernstein and his co-host break down the Cubs’ aggressive moves to bolster their World Series chances, the more measured approach by the White Sox, and what these decisions signal to the teams, fans, and the city. The show is peppered with signature Bernstein wit, tangents on fandom, Chicago quirks, and some wild side stories.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Chicago Cubs: “This Is What Going For It Looks Like”

• Big Picture:
  Bernstein celebrates the Cubs’ approach at the deadline, arguing it’s the true definition of “pushing in your chips.” Cubs President Jed Hoyer delivering for his team and his manager, Craig Counsell, is the headline.
• Major Trades & Strategy:
  • Cubs moved high-end prospects (including Moises Ballesteros) to acquire impact pitching (notably Kevin Gausman, Ryan Zeferjahn, David Peterson).
  • Bernstein argues these were the right moves — using prospect capital smartly since there aren’t clear paths for all prospects and pitching is the premium.
  • Bernstein: “If this is what pitching costs, go get more pitching. And I’ll be damned if that isn’t exactly what they did.” (03:12)
• Jed Hoyer’s Gamble:
  Bernstein notes Hoyer’s biggest move wasn’t just trading for impact players, but firing David Ross for Craig Counsell:
  “The most impactful, significant, risky move that Jed Hoyer made was firing David Ross to hire Craig Counsell... he knows he’s got that money’s worth this year.” (02:52)
• Reinforcing the Roster:
  The depth of acquisitions—starters, a major-league outfielder, a high-leverage young reliever like Zeferjahn—shows real intent.
• Counsell’s Day-to-Day Impact:
  Bernstein emphasizes how Counsell and the Cubs’ staff have optimized the roster, minimized weaknesses, and kept the team resilient through challenges.
• Signal to the Clubhouse:
  “When you do this, when you spend organizational capital, it's saying: we believe—right now—this team can win the World Series.” (06:45)
• Quotes/Segments:
  • “They’re going for it, they’re going for it... and now you get to enjoy them going for it. That’s what you ask for.” (10:02)
  • “[Zeferjahn] is funky. His pitches move differently. He’s nasty. And he’s a Cub for a while.” (10:12)

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2. White Sox: “Rewarding a Good First Half — But No Panic”

• Measured Moves:
  Bernstein maintains the Sox didn’t need drastic trades. Most prospects are already in the majors, and any moves should focus on fortifying, not overhauling.
• Outfield Situation:
  Tristan Peters’ severe slump post-All-Star break (slashing .098/.119/.118 post-break, 11:41) leads to a trade for defense-first outfielder Brenton Doyle. Still, skepticism remains:
  • Bernstein: “A no-time good hitter... glove only defensive replacement. Put him in there to seal a game, maybe be a pinch runner.” (12:23)
• Validation from Chris Getz:
  Sox GM Chris Getz is characterized as honest, not one for front-office spin. Bernstein muses that incremental improvements send the right message to the clubhouse — the organization believes in them but won’t mortgage the future.
• Prospect Nuances:
  Noah Schultz’s development is now safer, not rushed for a playoff push. “The Sox are a puncher’s chance bet because of how they slug.”
• Grading the Sox:
  “There’s kind of a soft landing here for what the White Sox have done.” (16:25) Moves don’t alter trajectory, but validate team progress.

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3. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Cubs:
  • “Craig Counsell has minimized their deficiencies and maximized their assets—it’s been nothing short of remarkable.” (02:41)
  • “If Pedro Ramirez, if this surprise success... has influenced some of their decision making... then good.” (26:15)
  • On Ramirez’s defense: “That play at third base last night was just glorious. That is one of the best defensive plays I’ve seen all year in baseball.” (27:00)
• Jed Hoyer’s Prediction Bit:
  Story of Hoyer calling a Kevin Alcántara homer—after he showed up barely an hour before the game—sparks laughter at the “strapping it on” clubhouse motif. (20:37–21:43)
• Pop Culture Sidebar:
  Extended riff on Thanos’s weapon from Avengers, paralleling front office moves and risk-taking (04:21–05:00).
• Language & Humor:
  Zeferjahn’s name etymology is explored (“Zephyr” meaning west wind, “John” as “God is gracious”) leading to a riff about Wrigley’s winds: “Like, God is gracious with the west wind. Maybe he keeps the ball in the park.” (10:46)
• Deep Fan Analysis:
  On booing Kyle Tucker, who left for the Dodgers:
  • “Why are we booing Kyle Tucker? ...He played through injuries... He never misrepresented himself. He played hard.” (29:31 on)
  • “What can somebody do to make them seem like they want to be here? Do you want all sorts of platitudes? ...Is that it?” (30:11–31:30)
  • “Don’t pretend you didn’t know [he was leaving]. Of course you knew.” (39:53)
• Fangraphs & WAR:
  Segment comparing Kyle Tucker’s pay vs. production ($60M salary vs. $6.8M value, WAR under 1), with similar points on Suzuki, Happ, and team value. (41:33–43:24)
• Anecdotes & Tangents:
  • Hilarious story about a minor leaguer running downtown barefoot, shirtless, to make a game (Ivan Calderón in Bellingham, WA, 25:43)
  • Reminiscing on county fair circuses after news item about a crossbow accident: “The wussification of America is upon us! Where’s next man up?” (56:58)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Cubs’ Deadline Philosophy, Team-Building: 00:37–10:22
• Thanos Weapon Pop Culture Tangent: 04:21–05:00
• Zeferjahn Name Origins: 09:48–10:50
• White Sox Post-Deadline Moves: 10:52–16:25, 26:25–27:00
• Validation for Sox Roster, Development Paths: 16:25–18:00
• Notable Story: Jed Hoyer Predicts Alcántara HR: 20:37–21:43
• Memorable Minor League Anecdote: 25:43–27:00
• Fan Irrationality: Booing Kyle Tucker: 29:31–42:21
• Player Value Analysis (Tucker, Suzuki, Happ, etc.): 41:33–43:24
• Light Segment: County Fairs, Cookies, and Summer Nostalgia: 26:07–27:47, 56:47–64:17
• Injury News & Bears Defensive Pessimism: 50:02–55:32
• Circus Accident, Adult County Fair Comedy: 55:32–64:17

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Flow & Tone

• Tone: Direct, dry, peppered with humor and sarcasm; deeply knowledgeable but always quick with a pop culture or MLB inside-baseball side tangent.
• Style:
  • Blunt analysis (“It doesn’t matter what I think… He thinks this team can win the World Series. That’s it.”)
  • Irreverent (“Put him in there to seal a game... but he’s a no-time good hitter.”)
  • Empathic toward fans but critical of irrationality, especially on issues like booing.

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Cubs fans: This is “going all in” done right—organizational investment, now, for a real shot, without mortgaging the core future.
• White Sox fans: Your team’s discipline is a form of belief—a reward for a good half, not wrecked by panic over recent slumps.
• Fan culture: Boo selectively, not reflectively—understand context and don’t demand phony loyalty platitudes.
• Baseball is about puzzles: “Every week presents a different puzzle. Sometimes they’re right, more often, sports remind us they’re unpredictable. And that’s part of the fun.” (14:20)
• Always expect a few unruly side stories…and maybe a rant or two from DBU.

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(Summary compiled without sponsor segments, administrative app talk, ticket giveaways, or extended food/county fair talk, except where they overlap content.)

Transcript

[Dan Bernstein]

There's always another game everybody thinks they have figured out. Maybe it's a pennant race, maybe it's a playoff series where everybody suddenly becomes an expert. Well, if you're gonna have an opinion, you might as well have some action behind it. That's where my bookie comes in. You've got spreads, totals, player props, live betting, and even the casino all in one account. Head to MyBookie AG, use the promo code DBU and get your first bet covered, up to 500 bucks. If it doesn't hit, use that bet back, bonus token and run it back. Don't just watch the action, make it pay with my bookie. Today's episode is brought my bookie,

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered.

[Dan Bernstein]

Unfiltered on three one, two. Sports, it's DBU on three, one, two. And as the dust has settled from the trade deadline, I want to take a look from above, a look at the big picture of what this means for the respective teams. And I want to start with the this. If you are a Cub fan, if you are a Cub fan and you want them to go for it and every year, well, what do they go for? This is what going for it looks like. This is what it's supposed to look like. This is. This is what it is. Where. Two nights ago, what exactly did I say when we did the live version of off the Ivy? I said, if this is what pitching costs, when you had two prospects that were fine, whatever, to go get Kevin Gossman, I said if this is what pitching costs, go get more pitching. And I'll be damned if that isn't exactly what they did. And looking at the overall amount of capital that they spent on their needs and then hearing Jed Hoyer on marquee last night during the game, he was, he was great. Not just predicting that Kevin El Contro would hit a home run because he only showed up an hour before the game. More on that later. Excuse me, but I do have a great story about somebody showed up five minutes before a game. One of my favorite may, probably my favorite player of all time. The, the moves that he made, the message it sends the team, the, the message it sends his hand picked manager. And just looking at all the larger forces involved here, the biggest move Jed Hoyer has ever made as an executive, we will probably look back at the Javier Baez repeat Crow Armstrong deal will be his most famous. But that's not his biggest move. The biggest thing, the most impactful, significant, risky move that Jed Hoyer made was firing David Ross to hire Craig Counsel and he knows that he got that money's worth so far this year that I'm not going to give you a look at a metric, I'm not going to give you Pythagorean and third order record on this. But as somebody who keeps a very close eye on the day to day activities of a baseball team, and I don't just mean at the major league level, I mean what they've done with Triple A, what they've done organizationally this year with their training staff, with their medical staff, with Triple A, with the Iowa shuttle and the bottom third of their roster, and what the manager has done to minimize their deficiencies and maximize their assets has been nothing short of remarkable. And I know that Jed Hoyer is in large part rewarding his guy. And that is. It's not quite this scene in Avengers when Captain America just standing there and Thanos is beating the shit out of him with his giant razor blade sword thing. What do they even call that?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's technically a giant blade sword thing.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, really, what is it? A warrior. Thanos's war hammer. I don't know what that is. What do they call it? I know I don't want to get hit with it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It's a big sharp object.

[Dan Bernstein]

I know, but it's more than sharp. There's more going on there.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It's like a Thanos ax. I don't know. I'll look it up.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, just tell me what that's called. Maybe it has a name because you know Mjolnir has actually got. Maybe Thanos's thing has a name. I don't know. Maybe he's named something else.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I don't know.

[Dan Bernstein]

We'll have to ask him. What was that noise? Nothing. So sorry. I'm entertaining myself. That he. He's bringing this team for everything they've been through, he's bringing them a wave of reinforcements. It's the breadth of it. It's okay. You need an extra outfielder and we need a little bit of depth. We need a major league outfielder, maybe can platoon a little bit. Here you go. You need a. Finally a bat missing high leverage. One of those guys. Guys in Ryan Zephyr, John who's under team control through 2031 or whatever is they finally got that guy. And not some, some 42 year old guy you're bringing in to throw 80 poo around the edges. This is a real ass reliever. And then you get a couple starters already. The David Peterson thing is kind of magic. There was absolute desperation move and you found A way to kind of keep making that work. But what this tells the team internally, what it says is and what it sounded like last night, in his words, he thinks the Chicago Cubs can win the World Series. It doesn't matter what I think. I mean of course it does matter what I think. I got my name on the podcast, but it doesn't matter what we think. Let's change the pronoun there. He thinks this Cubs team can win the World Series. Otherwise they are just not worth this kind of investment. And I don't know what he's got to go tell his boss to do. I don't know when. And he mentioned last night he said sometimes you got to get ownership involved. There has to be ownership sign off on stuff. It takes a lot to do a transaction. It takes a lot to do multiple transactions. So whatever has gone on behind the scenes, whatever purse strings are involved in all these arrangements and the consideration of whatever's going to happen next year in collective bargaining. That he went and did it. That you did. If Craig Counsel said, oh my ideal menu here. What would I want? Boy, a battle tested starter who would pitch in the World Series. Recently you start looking at the actual value of some of the players that have moved here. And I like the way that Joe Sheehan broke it down as far as B war. The top players traded at the deadline were Foster Griffin, Luis Arias, Tarikscubal Casey Mize, Jose Soriano and Liam Hicks. That's by B War. The best players since the start of 2025 to be traded at this deadline. A larger sample, Scubal Taylor Ward, Freddie Peralta, Kevin Gossman and Robbie Ray. So Robbie Ray with five three since the start of 2025. You're talking about an established major league player who came relatively inexpensively.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's why I wanted him.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, yeah. Not to mention. Not to mention who? Ballesteros. Who cares? By Asteroid. So they he's not a catcher. What's his future if he's a non power hitting his future contact fat guy.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

His future is a DH and he's not hitting.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's not even if you're not gonna hit the ball out of the park, you're not even a dh, are you? Luis Arias without a little bit of speed.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Two things. The Thanos weapon. Yes, I looked it up on the official Marvel uni.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, Marvel Wiki.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, it's called a double edged sword. No, it's not what it said. I swear to God that's what it said. And then.

[Dan Bernstein]

But is it actually then I specifically

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

does not repanose his weapon.

[Dan Bernstein]

But does it represent a double edged sword of some kind where Thanos he is.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I think you're.

[Dan Bernstein]

He has to make a trade off.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

With every. Everyone he kills, he loses a little bit of himself.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I think he gains.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And then looking at Baseball Reference and the Angels website, it is Zephyr John.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's what I thought. Yeah. That's one where even though every video

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I watched last night was saying Zephyr on. So the official pronunciation on Angel's website,

[Dan Bernstein]

his former team, Zephyr John.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And Baseball Reference has it as Zephyr John.

[Dan Bernstein]

It sounds. Is it. Is there a German pronunciation?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I don't say it like one of your angry German voices.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know. Does it sounds good. It's probably like a casserole of some kind. I don't know if it's German. That sounds good though. There will be a.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

What'd you make tonight? I made a Zephyr.

[Dan Bernstein]

Fresh Zephyr John. Ooh, did you harvest the rabbit yourself? Why, yes, I did. Rabbit, that'd be Hasen Feffer, right? That's peppered rabbit.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Correct.

[Dan Bernstein]

His pfeffer is pepper, right? I think so. Zephyr John's really good and he's funky. There's a different. His pitches move differently. He's nasty. And he's a cub for a while and they've been missing a guy like that. They're going for it, they're going for it, they're going for it. And now you get to enjoy them going for it. That's what you ask for.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Here's the meaning of his name. Zephyr. The original roots meaning west wind.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, so is it Zephyr means Zephyr. That's where the word comes from.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Is that good?

[Dan Bernstein]

In Wrigley Field, a west wind is blowing out to right field.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, it is. Okay. And then John is God is gracious. Common German suffix or variation of the personal name John, meaning God is gracious.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, like God is gracious with the west wind. Maybe he keeps the ball in the park.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Let's hope so.

[Dan Bernstein]

That it would be an aptronym. We'd have nominative determination. In which I do not believe. But I do find it interesting. Now what's happening with the White Sox is a little different. I'm the same guy who said that the Sox shouldn't do anything because they have mostly what they need. I still think that's true. I did not necessarily think the Tristan Peters return to Earth would be this Much of a thud but it is. If you haven't been keeping a close watch on that, it's pretty precipitous right now. Tristan Peters, do you know what his slash line is since the break?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I have no idea but I'll guess his ops is under 500. Under 400. Under 300.

[Dan Bernstein]

Wait, no, it's just over 300. Okay. It's. He's. He's slashing. 098-19-0118.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's getting close to Alex Bregman. Bases loaded territory.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well no, we don't. We never want to talk about that because that is that too tinky. So they get Braxton Doyle. So I didn't know that he was Brenton Doyle.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I'll be a Brenton Doyle. Brenton, he's a two time gold Glover. I didn't know that he was.

[Dan Bernstein]

And a no time good hitter. Yeah, like that is glove only defensive replacement. Put him in there to seal a game, maybe be one of those pinch runner guys. But he his slash line. 214. 287. 282 with one homer.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

His best season he had an OPS of 102. And Chris get said we see some offensive potential that hasn't been tapped into recently. Injuries are behind him. All right. Well I hope you're right. You never know that. I mean the guy could, he could you know, hit by a street sweeper or something. You don't know anybody can have an injury. But Chris gets incapable of lying. That's what I love about him. Well, I just picture Chris Gatz talking like Jimmy Stewart. I do. Well, we see some offensive potential and hasn't been tapped into recently. He's Mr. Smith goes to Washington. Well, I plugged it in the projection system and it says that we gained wins. So there he's incapable of lying. And I think he was able to send the same message to his team. We believe in you. This is validation of your work. But now they are not in a position to start throwing guys around. And I'm not being a prospect humper because most of their prospects are here. A lot of the guys are here. And Noah Schultz now can breathe a little easier knowing that his development is can be on its schedule independent of a playoff push or a push into the playoffs. I keep saying socks are a great punchers chance bet because of how they slug. And if you can hit the ball out of the park and strike out your opponents and limit the walks, you have a chance when that postseason starts. You know more so now than ever now that the postseason has been more disconnected. But overall, too, I want to mention this. I mean, I think both teams did it, did a terrific job for what their goals were. I think the Cubs goal is to win the World Series first and foremost right now. And they have. They trade away their number two prospect, they trade away Moises Byesteros, and in they go. We asked him to do it and they did it. One of the things I enjoy most about sports is that every week presents a different puzzle. Everyone has an opinion, everyone thinks they've found an edge. Sometimes they're right. More often, sports remind us they're unpredictable. And that's part of the fun. Whether it's a marquee football game, a heated divisional rivalry, baseball stretch run or a big fight card, my bookie gives you plenty of ways to get involved beyond just picking a winner. The prop board's loaded with player performances, game milestones, all kinds of in game opportunities that keep things interesting from the opening whist to the final out. And it's all in one place, one account, one wallet. Bet the spread, jump into the live markets while the game's unfolding, or head over to the casino between games or at halftime. If you've been thinking about trying it, now's a great time. Go to MyBookie AG, use the promo code DBU and get your first bet covered up to 500 bucks. If it doesn't hit, use your bet back bonus token and run it back. Don't just watch the action. Make it pay with my bookie.

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[Dan Bernstein]

For the White Sox, their goal, obviously is to also win the World Series, but their best opportunity to do so may not be this year. And I think he had to send an internal message to the team that you are worth further investment, that your work is going to be rewarded, that you are worth fortification and improvement. But I'm not going to do anything rash and that seems to be where they've landed. There's kind of a soft landing here for what the White Sox have done. It's like there was a flurry of activity. I don't know that it's going to make a huge difference. There are some marginal differences. I think getting Schultz out of the rotation, moving K or Fetty and just getting these starts out of Castillo is a help. Gives them some more options and innings. And Brazabon's really good. I like him better than I like Sir Anthony Dominguez because that guy just pained my ass. And maybe this will be a little less of a pain in the ass. So in the center field thing, I don't know. But there's no good fix for having a guy who's an all star who all of a sudden sucks. And we did that list. We did the list of the all time bad all Stars and he's making a case if this continues that he's to be on it. And as much fun as he's been there, I think they're smart to try to fortify that that spot particularly. But overall, Cubs get an A if you want to. If you want a letter grade and you had said can you get me this? Can you boy, it'd be nice to get this. I don't that everything on my list is pretty much checked here and there's nothing that they gave up that I think fundamentally alters their championship trajectory in other seasons. And if Pedro Ramirez, if this surprise success that this 22 year old kid has had has influenced some of their decision making around where he might fit and whose spot he might be in at the moment, then good. Because that's the unspoken part of this has been the quiet rise of Ramirez into somebody who now you're kind of taken for granted as. As Guy just acts like a big leaguer. He is professional at bats. He play anywhere in the field right now. That play at third base last night was just glorious. That is a. That is one of the best defensive plays I've seen all year in baseball. It's just, it was almost perfect. And with no wasted movement, bouncing the throw on purpose. Everybody knew it too. Like the look on Bush's face, the look on Boyd's face. Everybody's like, whoa. I mean I went. It wasn't just the glove. It was getting to his feet and making the purposeful throw. He got him by a mile too. That wasn't even bang bang. That was your out out. That wasn't even think about looking at it. There wasn't a question. There wasn't close. So I want to credit what Ramirez is doing currently sitting on ops over.800 right now in What, A hundred at bats at this point, 100 plate appearances. Really, really strong stuff from him. I am left with a lingering question, however, as I'm throwing around all these compliments right here. And I do. I do want to give credit. Jed Hoyer called the Alcantara homerun. We had a bunch of people strapping it on, as is the bit from off the Ivy that may need some explanation, and I'm not going to give it because that's for the other pod. And Jed Hoyer called. He said that Kevin Alcantara got to the ballpark an hour beforehand, hour before the game. He's like, oh, and that's, I guess, allowed for an hour before the time. I don't know what it was, but he's like, he's going to hit a home run tonight, is what he said. First of all, for Jed to call him out like that.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

I mean, he can. He's the gm. He's like, hey. I said, I just saw him kind of in the locker room. Hey, he's probably going to homer tonight. And then he hits a foul homer.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Crushed one.

[Dan Bernstein]

I mean, really just spun on it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

And it was foul left. And they're joking around. Ha ha. Boy, you almost got your home run. And Jed's like, yeah, I called it. So I want to have. He told Council and he told Counsel.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

So he wanted to be right. And then he hit one.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Because my. What I took out of that was he was late. And in the midst of the conversation in front of him with, what are

[Dan Bernstein]

you going to do about that? Are you going to discipline this?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No. And he was like, he's probably going to hit a home run tonight. Yep. Because council probably made a point of it, and probably not. Not being, like, getting down or being made. Just made a. Made a comment about it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, look good. Glad you could drop by.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And Jed was like, oh, it probably hit a home run tonight because of it. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Kevin. Kevin rolled a little late. Yeah. Oh, nice of you to stop by in a game day. I'm sorry to have interrupted.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. So he hits the foul ball first, which is a monster shot. And then he was like, yeah, I told counsel he had a home run. And then what pitch or two later gets his home run? And the better major league home run

[Dan Bernstein]

on the call, Boog is like, oh, Jed. Oh, here we go. So this is my favorite story. I was in a bar years ago, and I ran into a guy and I was wearing a shirt that was, like, from this College World Series. And he's like, oh, were you at that World Series? I'm like, yeah, I was. I said, yeah, it's the one where I think, you know, Phil Nevin had a. And he's like, no, that was a different one. We start talking. I could tell he was a baseball guy. This guy just had. He just had baseball face. Like, baseball executive face. And he's like, yeah, I'm in town doing a little scouting for the Cardinals. And we started talking for a little bit. He's like. He goes, yeah, I've worked in baseball a long time. Right now, I'm just. At the moment, I'm scouting some high school kids for the Cardinals. So, you know, we're obviously. We're going through beers and we're. And so I mention Yvonne Calderon, and he says to me, he goes, shit, I know Ivan. Ivan. Boy, I got a lot of Ivan stories. Everybody does. He was the manager of Bellingham in the Northwest League when Calderon was there. So he's in Bellingham, Washington. He tells a story about. He goes, well, the way it was in Bellingham at the time, he said the park is kind of close to what we call downtown. It's not really a downtown, but he said the press box in the park is the highest point in the city. He said, you can see everywhere, pretty much everywhere. You can see down the streets. You can see just. It's on a hill. It's way, obviously, because you can see everything. For the press box, you look out the front, you look out the back. I said, okay. He said, we were getting ready to start a game. This is the Affiliated Miners. He's on his way up in the. I think at the time, it was the Expo system. Mariners, Mariners. And he said, ivan's not there. He goes, we're getting ready. So warm ups are pretty much over. Where's Ivan? Nobody knows. Nobody knows where Ivan is. So all of a sudden, somebody from the press box starts waving. I'm down in the dugout. Somebody's waving and pointing. And all I could picture, of course, is Blazing Saddles. The sheriff is near. He says, the sheriff is near. No, no, no. Gun. Darn it. So he said he saw a shirtless, as the story goes, a shirtless Yvonne Calderon and holding his penny loafers, is running as fast as he can go. He's got no shirt on. He's got pants on. He's holding. He doesn't want to run in his shoes. So he's running barefoot down the street of Bellingham, Washington, to get to the game. No one knows exactly what was going on. Before or where he was? I think he was visiting a friend, apparently, is all I can say. A friend or friends? He was busy.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

100%. He was visiting a friend.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes, he was. He was, as they say, unavoidably detained. He was busy.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It was probably a newer friend. I wouldn't say it was a long, long time.

[Dan Bernstein]

Childhood friend. No, no, I think it was a newer friend. And he made it to the park and it was one of those things where it's like, get your uniform on, you idiot.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Tell me you homeward. That game, though, you had to do something.

[Dan Bernstein]

I want to find the game. Four for four. I don't know what the game was. I couldn't track it, but yeah, I know he didn't spend a lot of time in the minor leagues, but literally running down the street shirtless.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's great.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Have I told that story around?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I've never. No, I've never heard that one before. We went on Saturday night, saw Kenosha Kingfish game. The North Northwoods League.

[Dan Bernstein]

How was it?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Simmons Field. It's great. We. Yeah, we try to go once a year. Great time. They actually won. It was a doubleheader. They won. They were playing the Rockford Rivets and they beat the Rockford Rivets in game two.

[Dan Bernstein]

How's the food?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Food's always good there. They have a. They have a special cantina bar. So there's like walking tacos and tacos, all the good stuff. They have a lot of craft beer, if you like that. And then. But they're a grill station. Really good burgers, cheeseburgers, brats. They do a Philly cheesesteak on the flat top. It's good stuff.

[Dan Bernstein]

Perfect.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, it's a good time always.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, you'll see a prospect or two.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, there have been a handful of guys that have gone through that that make the major leagues. And it's a collegiate league. The Northwoods. All college kids. Yeah, all college kids. And it's good stuff. And we sat like eight rows up behind home plate under a covering, and it was 12 bucks a ticket. Like, you just can't beat it. Yeah. It's fun.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. To go watch good baseball and go be at a thing with your family.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And then there's. Right down the street, there was a place. It was melt Melhats or malhots. It was a burger, hot dogs, ice cream. Place it. Really good custard. Really good stuff. So that's a. That's a good night out.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, well, I had the. Beth went to summerhouse cookies Summerhouse, Santa Monica.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, that's your spot.

[Dan Bernstein]

Have you had those cookies?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I have not, no. You've talked about them.

[Dan Bernstein]

They were. She got two.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Did you bring one?

[Dan Bernstein]

They're like $10 cookies.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You bring one.

[Dan Bernstein]

They each weigh a pound. You didn't bring the sprinkle cookie?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You didn't bring any?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I ate them.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Like a quarter of one.

[Dan Bernstein]

No. We can go get. There's another. There's one right here in Huron. Right across from where Zoe works. Yeah, so when I, when I got. I saw the cookies, I'm like, oh, I can't have carbs with dinner now. I was going to make potatoes or like garlic bread or something with my pork chops. I'm like, no, that. My dessert is the carbs.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, I brought your carbs today.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I was.

[Dan Bernstein]

I thought that was more for forward progress. I was going to get.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, that's fine.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right. Why, why, why, why are we booing? Kyle Tucker. If you're a baseball fan in Chicago, you know this season isn't one in April, May or even June. It's one in the grind. Every series matters. Every bullpen decision gets second guessed. Every at bat feels like it could swing the conversation the next morning. Whether you're riding with the Cubs through a pen or hoping the White Sox give you something to believe in, baseball gives you opportunities every single day. That's why my bookie is for you. Sure, you can bet the game, but the prop board is where things get interesting. Strikeouts, hits, home runs, total bases. There's plenty of ways to get involved without worrying about picking a final score. And because it's all under one account, you can jump from baseball to live betting or even the casino. While you're waiting for the late game to start, go to MyBookie AG, use promo code DBU and get your first bet covered. Up to 500 bucks. If it doesn't hit, use your bet back bonus token and run it back. Don't just watch another night at the ballpark. Make it pay with my bookie.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

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[Dan Bernstein]

Why? What are you mad at? Why are you mad? What did he do other than play here for a year after a trade? He didn't make any promises about anything. He never misrepresented himself. He played through injuries. Why is he being booed? Why are you. I don't get it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't understand it either.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And as a longtime Cubs fan, I'm not angry at the guy. I'm not mad at him. And, yeah, go take the big contract from the team that gives you the better chance to win a World Series.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, go, if you would rather play somewhere else. Okay. The only reason I would be mad is if he was one of these smarmy politicians about it. He's. He's never been. He doesn't say much. He's not an emotional player at all. He doesn't. He just. That's just not how he is. It's not his game, and he doesn't. Would you rather somebody pander? That's what I don't want. I don't. I don't want the Cubs. I don't want the, you know, the Wrigley faithful to demand pandering. Oh, I want to be a Cub for life. I love it here. I'll sign a blank check, like Andre Dawson. Like, come on, that's not. Or a blank contract. Actually, that isn't. It shouldn't be required based on what I understand. And maybe I'm missing something. And we talked about it earlier. I asked Cody Delmendo, who's sort of the representative young Cub fan, and the way he phrased it was. It didn't seem like he really wanted to be here. Well, that. It's not his fault. And what can somebody do to make them seem like they want to be here? Do you want all sorts of platitudes? Oh, it's great here. And I love the Wrigley experience. And I'm moving. All my family eats at Ann Sather's every morning. I ride Ben Zobrist's bike to Wrigley, and we hang out with fans. And then I fall asleep on a pool table at ties till 4 on Ashland. Is that it? Or like the. I don't know what's required. It's one thing to not cheer. Like, the threshold for the decision to actively boo is interesting to me. To verbally express displeasure at the mention of someone's name or someone's appearance in a moment where they are there and you can respond where all of that negativity comes from. I Don't know who you thought he was when they got him, but he's not Alex Bregman. That's like, I'm surprised you're not booing. But he's never. He's never said, like, I really want to play in Wrigley or, I grew up a Cub fan. I hope that we're not doing purity tests or any kind of. Whatever you want to call these. Certain, certain requirements to be liked or loved or accepted or at least not booed. Like, I just think those are very different things. I'm not saying you have to, that it's reasonable to say, yeah, Kyle Tucker, but shouldn't it just be kind of dispassionate? Did he do anything to engender that? I didn't. If he did, I didn't realize it. And it's on me. And I just. I missed it. I must have just missed the tone. Or was this some sort of accruing list of debits on that side of the ledger? I can't wait till Kyle Tucker comes back. And I'm going to express. He sure built up all of this. And I'm. I came. I'm going to explode on him for all of what he's done to me. I must have missed all of that. All I saw was a guy who hit really, really well in April and May, you know, carried you out to a big cushion, and then ran into some injury issues which were kind of expected, that he's had some weird injuries. But I never heard anything about him not listening to doctors or conflict between doctors. That was all speculation. And I never heard him goldbricking or saying, like, I don't want to play today.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I mean, there was that odd part of it where he went off on his own into Florida to see, you know, get treatment from his own personal voodoo doctor. But I don't recall that being in conflict with the organization of the team.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. You didn't even hear whispers. Like some days you would hear. That's right away. It's like, I guess he's going to his doctorate. I mean, that stuff happened with everybody. You used to hear that from sky. We say that. But like Elena, Della Dunn and her one doctor in Delaware and all that hell, it goes back. The bears, they'd start whispering about you the moment you even asked for a reasonable second opinion. Locally, this guy, this guy, this guy, this guy, we don't know what he's doing. Like that. That was automatic. And I didn't hear that with Tucker, but he has had some injuries that Are. Were difficult to diagnose. Let's put it that way. The leg thing, the hand thing, there have been. But I don't know. That caught me by surprise. Is it because he is a symbol of the Dodgers ability to throw big money? And also he's bad. That's the other thing.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Right. It's not like he's leading the Dodgers and there they have a 20 game lead in the National League standings.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. He's bad this year.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's not been good. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

So it's weird that there was this much, I guess, built up ill will. I didn't feel that that's. But if it's there and you express it, I'm. Hey, man.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It was interesting when you, when we were talking about this earlier today, it reminded me of my time covering the Cubs when Ramos Ramirez came back for the first time to Wrigley Field as a Brewer. And actually I found the piece that I wrote April 12, 2012 and how I wrote about how he got booed. There was some applause, but fans booed the former third baseman. And I just, I remember thinking how odd that was. I mean this was one of your, I mean, best sluggers in history. And this is just. And that's not opinion, that's statistics. He's one of the top guys in your team's history.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, he's either sluggy, either your third or fourth best third baseman ever is

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

eight plus seasons with the Cubs, Ramirez had 1200 hits, 239 home runs, over 800 RBIs. His 239 homers, this was at the time I wrote this, ranked him sixth all time. He's fifth all time in OPS. And his 531 slugging put him only behind Hack Wilson and Sammy Sosa. And that guy got booed when he came back. And I remember just sitting up in the press box thinking, why is this guy getting booed because he took a three year, $36 million deal from the Brewers? Like, why are we booing this guy? And then I remember and I even wrote, you know, remember all the, all the talk about Ramirez?

[Dan Bernstein]

He's lazy, he doesn't care, doesn't run out ground ball.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He only hits home runs when the games are over or doesn't matter. He wasn't a very good third baseman when he got here. And he improved a little bit by the time he left. But he also helped you get to the playoffs three times. Like you don't reach the postseason in oh, three, seven or eight without him.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's, he's one of the best hitters in your team's history. Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And he got booed, and it's. But he was here for so much longer, and so it's weird that. That type of treatment to that guy. So maybe you're mad because he was here a long time, got into the playoffs, and then went to the Brewers, But Kyle Tucker was here for a season.

[Dan Bernstein]

He didn't promise to be anything other than what he was. He never misrepresented himself. He never insulted anyone.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I think a lot of it goes to what we talked about on off the Ivy League. People interpret physical reaction incorrectly. A fan doesn't see a guy react the way they think he should, therefore, he doesn't care.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

All right. Runners on second and third with two outs by the ninth.

[Dan Bernstein]

And why is he slamming the bat in the ground? Why is he throwing that helmet?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Why is he mad that he made that out?

[Dan Bernstein]

Because he's not a fan.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

And that's not the way baseball players operate unless you're a unique, uniquely expressive player.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And like, the. The. And the greatest aspect of it is what you pointed out is that he's been bad this year.

[Dan Bernstein]

Let me give you a couple of numbers.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

If he was. If he was leading the league, and on top of it, you have the league leader in WAR on your team. Like, what are you mad about?

[Dan Bernstein]

All right. Who is this player? This is a veteran player with a career WRC plus of 131.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

This year, a WRC plus of 102 and a WAR of 2.3. Like, 30 points off of a career WRC plus.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Player number two has a. Is also a veteran, has a career WRC plus of 133 and is currently at 100 this year with a WAR of 0.8. The first is Alex Bregman. Okay. The second is Kyle Tucker. Alex Bregman is worth, this year three times what Kyle Tucker is.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. And he's still underperforming.

[Dan Bernstein]

But, yes, he's worth three times what Kyle Tucker is. Kyle Tucker is not even worth a win. I'm just introducing that into evidence. And that's what you're booing because he took five times as much money as he would have gotten, and everyone knew he was leaving. It's like you knew. Don't pretend you didn't know now. Of course you knew he was leaving. Anytime I was asked. Do you think they're signed Tucker? No.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's a eight war.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's what Pedro Ramirez is. Ian hap is a two war player.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right now, Kyle Tucker's at 0.8.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. Ian Happ is two.

[Dan Bernstein]

Just want to put that out there. It's not worth it. There will be people probably who are worth booing. There are. There are, you know, some. Some on your own team. There are. Kyle Tucker just is not. It's not. It's not worth it and not fair.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And what's he making this year?

[Dan Bernstein]

Let me check. I can scroll right down and tell you. Oh, yeah, this will be our. You talk about the difference between his value and what he's making. Yeah, this is probably number one in the league right now. He. Well, it doesn't have this. He's been worth $6.8 million this year. Not even worth a single win. So. Not that. That's 6.8 million. Isn't he making like 40 million or 50 million because he signs him huge.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

60.

[Dan Bernstein]

60 million?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, there it is. Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Average annual value of 60 million.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's right at the top of the page.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And at 0.8. So roughly one war is 8 million. Yeah, he pointed and he's at 0.8. So he's making 60 million this year and he's worth 6.8 million.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's. He's worth like 15%. Yep.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. So he's being. He's being paid 10 times more than he's actually producing.

[Dan Bernstein]

Mm, okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

But you should boo him, though.

[Dan Bernstein]

And Alex Bregman is making 35 million and he's worth 18.1.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

So you're unhappy with that too. You can be, is the point. I just think that there are things in our world that are worth expressing a lot of displeasure over that are. That are more important targets.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And, you know, it's interesting to Kyle Tucker, going back to. We talked about a couple of days going off the Ivy was say a Suzuki, and I said I wouldn't want Suzuki or Hap back next year. And I probably still don't because Suzuki be 32 next year. But he's at a three war right now making. What is he making, 16 or 18 million dollars this year. So he's overperforming his pay. So I'll, you know, I'll take a little bit back on the criticism of Suzuki. I know he missed a little bit of the start of the year with that knee injury from WBC.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. His average annual value is $17 million. And this year he has three wars, so that's 20 million, 23.6 million.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So he's. He's overperforming. So I'll give him. I'LL give him some credit there as I was pretty quickly to dismiss him and Ian Hap next year. Ian Hap. I'm set, I'm good, I'm good for next year. Suzuki. I still don't know if I would want Suzuki back on a short term deal at 32 next year, but give him the credit for this year for what he's done.

[Dan Bernstein]

You know what team, you know what the team Hap has written all over him. When you say who would sign, what team would sign a 32 year old white Sox. Pretty White Sox.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Go, go White.

[Dan Bernstein]

So what team would sign a 32 year old, pretty good outfielder but not necessarily a huge difference maker. Somebody who's just good.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, where he should go is the Reds. Who are you thinking?

[Dan Bernstein]

The Angels. Oh, the Angels love signing guys like that. They love signing guys who for other teams who have better systems, better plans, better drafting, have somebody better than somebody on that particular contract to sign. So I would definitely say that is a perfect Angels shortlist player for next year. Congratulations to our July winners of our prizes on the rewards page on the app. Now, when I say your name, you don't have to do anything.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You don't need to email, you don't need to email.

[Dan Bernstein]

We're gonna find you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You certainly don't need to email more than once.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right? We gotcha. Yeah, you will. Unless like a year from now or something. Or if we're getting close to the concert date and you don't have your tickets yet, that's different. So Robert from Algonquin won the four packet tickets to the Bristol Renaissance Fair. Jonathan from Waukegan won the Wildfire Dinner. Dan from lagrange, the Lil Bob Ariba dinner. Our three winners of the AC DC tickets at Notre Dame Stadium, Jason and Naperville. Now, Bob in Northbrook. This is not Northbrook Bob. This is Bob from Northbrook because I had to check the last name on this one. And Craig in Chicago. So congratulations to everybody involved. We've reloaded the page. We got all sorts of new stuff there. We've got Italian Homemade Company, Big Bowl, Public and quality meets, and tickets to see Snoop dogg at Ravinia September 4th. The promo code now is camp. Make sure you use the promo code. Camp. Also while I'm here doing administrative stuff. The party. The party, the party.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So if we're coming up on our 10 year anniversary party and you still haven't gotten your prizes from this year, feel free to come up to us and say, hey, I still haven't got my Renaissance Fair tickets.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'M supposed to go to the REN Fair 2026 in 2026 and nobody ever contacted me. Yeah, we'll make it right.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

But where are we?

[Dan Bernstein]

Come to the party.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Actually, we're going Saturday Renaissance Fair.

[Dan Bernstein]

You want to Bristol Renaissance Fair? Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Can't wait. Very excited.

[Dan Bernstein]

What's the weather supposed to be? Because sometimes, man, it is hot and stinky there.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It's generally stinky weather. 84 and sunny. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

There's a lot of heavy wool cloaks and. Oh, yeah, there's lots of body helmets and.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Are you gonna. Are you gonna shoot an arrow? Because they got. They have an archery.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I just. I walk around, people watch, eat, and then let the kids do all the things. There's that one, the wobbly ladder thing that's like attached to a tree.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, Jacob's ladder.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, yeah. And I want. I like to watch the kids do that and fall. Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

I was gonna say you don't do it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No. And then they throw tomatoes.

[Dan Bernstein]

I like the. Throw the throwing tomatoes. That's some of the most fun we ever had.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Then the mushrooms and the big turkey leg drumstick. Oh, the mushrooms are not. No, like food.

[Dan Bernstein]

They're all food.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I mean, not the.

[Dan Bernstein]

Not the psychedelic psilocybin.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, no, I'm just regular mushrooms.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, it's good stuff. Yeah, man. I haven't done that in a while.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It's good. Yeah. We try to do it every. Every year.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's a. Yeah. Mental clean out. Yeah. Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Absolutely fun people watch.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, I thought. Oh, no, no. I thought you would do mushrooms every year.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, I've never done mushrooms.

[Dan Bernstein]

Never?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, I've never tried them. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That aspect of what it does, it just. It doesn't sound appealing to me.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that's like once a year, probably. Probably you go out like in the

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

middle of the woods and do it and like, lay on the ground.

[Dan Bernstein]

I've done it every kind of different way.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

It has to be a controlled environment.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm not interested in. It has to be. Right.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, no, I. I found my sweet spot. Now I'm Good.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

My 5 milligram THC drinks one of those.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, one of them. Okay. Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Just sit there, watch some tv, giggle, feel good. It's all I need.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, but then you gotta. Then the food.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

But I mean, fight. That's not enough, though, to, like, want to pig out.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, well then. Okay. Because you don't. There's other things. It's all. It's legal. There's other kinds of things.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. I know. I'm good with that stuff.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right. Okay. Just making sure. But come to the party. It is August 25th and we're going to have a blast. 6 to 8pm thanks to Chicago Window guys and to Double Clutch Brewing Company for having us. And we're going to have snacks and we're going to have giveaways. We have all kinds of things. We got tickets to Snoop Dogg, tickets to Weezer, Earth, Wind and Fire, Lionel Richie, Cubs tickets. Three, one, two, Swag. And just hang out. We just want to get our community together and everybody say hi and spend some. Send some time in person in meat space, in real life. So it's good for you. That's what I'm saying.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That.

[Dan Bernstein]

That. That'll get him out there. Yeah. That's good for you. Damn it. Come hang. We'll be just. And we'll. We'll see who the crowd is. I want to. I want to see who some of these. These people are. Who we know this man you seek.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, I'm so. I think Ian Hap should sign with the. The Reds. The Reds should make a push for

[Dan Bernstein]

Ian Hap or the Pirates.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He is a career 1002 ops at the Great American ballpark. And what's the other one? Pittsburgh, you said?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I thought he was great at PNC891. Yep. Lifetime ops and he's got about the same number at bats.

[Dan Bernstein]

But then you got to live in one of those cities and he's from both.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You don't have to.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's true.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You're a baseball player with a lot of money.

[Dan Bernstein]

He was a kid. He grew up in Pittsburgh.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Right.

[Dan Bernstein]

And then he spent his collegiate years in Cincinnati. And I think his mother is still closer to Columbus.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. But Cincinnati. I mean, he's at 18 career home runs in Cincinnati, nine in P. Yeah, he's definitely should go to Cincinnati. They should make a push. They need him in left field next year. Did they have a really good left fielder now that I just take someone's job that shouldn't lose it.

[Dan Bernstein]

You probably did.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sorry. You probably did. But I'm sure he appreciates you trying to find him a job. Let me talk Bears real quick.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Bears.

[Dan Bernstein]

And I was trying to figure out why I didn't feel worse about the Bears losing Kobe Bryant for at least the first month of the season and maybe more. And I think I've unpacked. Why I'm not. It doesn't mean I'm not going to worry. And it doesn't mean that my pessimism yesterday when we heard about the injury wasn't completely valid.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, but you nailed it, though, because once you said it to me, I was like, yeah, that's why I wasn't more upset. It's perfect.

[Dan Bernstein]

And here's. There's a couple reasons why. The biggest reason is you can't miss what you've never seen. I've never seen him play safety for the Bears. It was just kind of in my head, and I've never really watched him run around in pads. I haven't seen him at all. You can't miss what you've never seen. And that's why I'm like, oh, all right. Well, I'm still excited about it. He's going to play and I can't be like, oh, well, there was that game where he did the thing and this game where he did the thing and this. So I don't have those sort of core memories of what he's done to help the Bears win games. So it might be irrational because I hear the coaches talk about him and how violent and reactive he is and quick twitch and what he means and all that. I know there's a lot of pressure on that young rookie right now. A lot. They're going to load everything on him now. Cause I don't think it's going to be a rando backup, Cam Lewis or whoever, one of the Jalens. So it's going to be on this guy, on this rookie, to be in charge of the back of the defense. That's my guess. I don't know if they're going to say it or not, but I think it's going to fall that way whether they want it to or not. And the other reason why I think I don't feel worse is the head coach just doesn't care about defense that much. And that's okay. Defense is a. Is a thing that gets you the ball back somewhere. Sometimes they get you the ball back after the other team scored a touchdown. Sometimes they get it back after they take it. Sometimes they get it back after they block a field goal. Sometimes they miss a field goal. Defense is simply a thing that gets you the ball back and it is going to be part of the process. We here in this city, that's not how we operate. That's not how we have operated. That's not the way it's. It just isn't the prism through which most Bears fans who've been raised by Bears fans see a football game. Get used to it. Get used to it. Defense wins championships all right. You know, you played the. Okay, I'm with you. I am one of those people. I am. I'm. I'm that meatball guy, and I'm not never really going to shake that. And I'm also going to be sitting in my TV screaming, tackle. Tackle him. Stop missing tackles. Stop the run. They're getting gashed. So I'm going to be all that. Don't worry. But I really understand that this head coach thinks about defense as the time when I don't have the ball.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

When do I get the ball back? Come on, I got all these plays, and we have all these things we got to do. When I'm watching them, the tablets, and they. Come on, get the ball back. Do they score? Yeah, they just scored. All right, now do we get the ball back? Yes. Okay, good. Look at it that way. It makes it a lot more fun. And you don't really sweat the defense if, you know, all it is is taking up time before Ben Johnson has the ball again. And that's why it doesn't feel that bad. It might be bad. Don't get me wrong. The loss of Kobe Bryant, objectively, is probably bad. He's probably really good. And it probably really matters that he's not there. And they're probably less likely to win games because he's not there, because he's better than the next man up. So that's all true. I'm just explaining why it doesn't fit. Feel as bad as it maybe should.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, it makes perfect sense. And when you said it to me, I was like, all right, that kind of. That kind of makes sense. He's back. I mean, eight to 10 weeks puts him back against Philly, the Jets or Green Bay, which is weeks two, three, and four.

[Dan Bernstein]

And it sounds.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It.

[Dan Bernstein]

The injury doesn't sound good. And it sounds like maybe. I saw. Was it Kyle Long. Those speculating. It's the tibial plateau and.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. So it was a hypersenic knee, a bone bruise, and then the small fracture.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So eight to ten weeks.

[Dan Bernstein]

Nothing torn, though. Nothing? Nothing. No actual surgery. Structural damage in there. Except, you know, there's. There's a. It sounds like two bones bang together, if that's accurate.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

And he's back by week four or just after week four.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. Not ideal. Not what you want. No. And you're going to have a better chance of winning those games with him playing than without. But it could have been a lot worse. And thankfully, it's. It's. You know, he's back in the first, as our coaches like to say, he's back in the first quarter this season or back by the second at the worst.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't want to finish this show without this trip we're going to take. Come with me now to Middletown, New York.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Where

[Dan Bernstein]

a circus performer was accidentally shot in the neck by an arrow during a performance at a county fair in upstate New York, Police and organizers said. It happened Friday night at the Orange County Fair in Middletown, northwest of New York City. According to state police, ana Daza Tavera, 42, and Edwin Cuervo Ronhel, 38, a married couple from Waukesha, Wisconsin, had been performing their crossbow sharpshooting act drunk. Doesn't say that. Were performing their crossbow sharpshooting act when she accidentally struck him in the neck with an arrow as he held up a foam target. Police said it's a bad shot. Cuervo Ron Held was airlifted to a hospital in stable condition and the circus was canceled for the night. I wonder why he canceled the whole damn circus over one bad shot.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Right? So a bunch of kids see a guy get shot in the neck with an arrow, and they gotta call it a knife?

[Dan Bernstein]

The wussification of America is upon us.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

How about next man up?

[Dan Bernstein]

Come on. Wait.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Where's next man up?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Right?

[Dan Bernstein]

Maybe the next person won't get shot. You cancel the whole circus.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

The elephants were pissed.

[Dan Bernstein]

There's no elephants at circuses anymore.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, they're all gone.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, it was enough of that. Oh, unless, like, these fly by night

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

roadside lions still there. Or not.

[Dan Bernstein]

The tiger King things. Benjamin Jackson, the ringmaster at Circus Murcia. M U R C I A. I'm not quite sure the translation. It's not. Not Circus Murcia. That would be blood sausage. That would be more appropriate. Not Circus Murcia.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

What is that? Circus who?

[Dan Bernstein]

M U R C I A. Can you look that up? I like it better if it's Circus Murcia.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Empire State Fair, Long Island.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. Because then if it's circus blood sausage, then it works. Yeah.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's why they shot him.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's why they shot him in the neck, because he had to be harvested and turned into blood sausage. Yeah, you just go over there with a. With a. With a jug. Although it didn't hit him there. That's why he's alive.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, yeah. He didn't get his jugular.

[Dan Bernstein]

Benjamin Jackson said that he was luckily struck on the side of his neck in a spot with mostly soft tissue and no major blood vessels. No blood leaking out. There was A little around the hole where the arrow went in. Kind of like getting your ear pierced, he said. Yeah, kinda. That's why you don't go to Claire's and get your neck pierced. I just want to put a stud in there. Well, you're 16, and we said you could do it when you were 16. Come on.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

It could be. A new way to pierce ears is by shooting an arrow through your earlobe.

[Dan Bernstein]

They kind of do. He was released from the hospital Saturday after the arrow was safely removed and he received stitches. He says he'll need time to heal before he can resume performing.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

Why?

[Dan Bernstein]

He's got to hold up a foam target. He can do that with it. Why does he have to wait until resume performing?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I would imagine some healing needs to be involved.

[Dan Bernstein]

Why?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I don't know. It could get in change.

[Dan Bernstein]

The likely it doesn't. Is he gonna get shot in the neck again?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Maybe he holds the target over his face so in case he gets shot again. They want the first one to heal. I would hold it. I would hold it off to the side.

[Dan Bernstein]

Get right back on the bike, man.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You know, maybe get, like, a device that holds the target for you. I know. It won't be as fun, right?

[Dan Bernstein]

Or have someone other than your wife shooting at you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

They are married, right? Are they married?

[Dan Bernstein]

That's this.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So that was on purpose?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes. Yeah. She shot the wrong side of the neck.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So has he been hit before? Maybe she got him in the leg before.

[Dan Bernstein]

Or maybe it's part of the bit. They definitely shouldn't have canceled the circus.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Maybe he really pissed her off this time, so she went for the neck.

[Dan Bernstein]

So Jackson said he'll need time to heal. He's walking around, talking, eating, enjoying life. Circus. Murcia and Cuervo around Hell is expected to make a full recovery. They requested privacy for him and his family. Safety has always been our top priority. We'd like to emphasize that while this was a tragic accident. It's not tragic. He's alive, he's fine. Where's the tragedy? Just say this was an accident. It is an isolated incident. There was and is no danger to the general public and audiences.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Unless he's shooting in the audience.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right? The circus returned to its regular schedule of three shows a day on Saturday, minus the crossbow act.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So do they. Maybe they move the act into the audience eventually. So I wouldn't want that.

[Dan Bernstein]

Why would there be danger to the public? If you said, like, the person shooting the arrow was drinking and the person

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

holding the target was sitting next to me, then you could Be in trouble then.

[Dan Bernstein]

This is the bit. Well, careful. It might hit you. Whack. How do you realize you're good at that? How is it like you're traveling from Waukesha, Wisconsin, to Middletown, New York, to do your act? First of all, they must make enough money to make the transportation worthwhile. So they got to be doing okay if they're working one of these all the time. One of these, like, middle level circus there. I never these things. I rarely see a lot of live acts like this. There's the animal acts, the ones I've been to the county fairs. Like, Walworth county fair is one of my favorites.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, we did the one in Baraboo a couple years ago.

[Dan Bernstein]

There you go. I love the Walworth county fair. That's where Jason got sneezed on by a pig covered in pig snot.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Did you guys know him? The pig? Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

All I know is that I was waiting for the superhero origin story to start. He's like, hey, piggy. Look at this little piggy. Look at his snout. His snout is sticking out. The pig goes, covers him with slime. Covers him like Bill Murray lying on his back in Ghostbusters.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Really? That much?

[Dan Bernstein]

It covered in slime. All of right in his face, too. And there was no hand sanitizer. There's no running water. Eventually we tracked down. I'm carrying around.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

He's

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

so.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was. I remember that day. And that was also the day he wanted me to do the speed pitch and I hurt my arm. Oh, never do the speed pitch when you're an adult.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So circus events at Middletown, New York, are hosted at the Galleria at Crystal run, featuring touring adult leaning shows like paranormal Cirque and traditional family productions.

[Dan Bernstein]

What is paranormal?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

They like, like ghosts. Like, do juggling acts.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know. Maybe they work inexpensively.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Zombies, you get like a zombie like comedy show.

[Dan Bernstein]

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. They order brains.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

His arm falls off.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's a good show, mom.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Thank you. Got zombie shooting arrows at each other. The zombie, like, goes right through him. Good shot. Hey, no injuries.

[Dan Bernstein]

Hey, Larry. Yeah, Tom? Why did they stop the hockey game with the zombies? I don't know. There was a face off in the corner. Kids are screaming. Adult county fair stuff.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Adult leaning. Paranormal cirque.

[Dan Bernstein]

Adult leaning.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Hey.

[Dan Bernstein]

Headed over to the Milltown county fair? You bet I am.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's got a pack of reds and a 40. We're good to go. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

We're gonna have a little adult leading circus action.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

A magical and mysterious adventure. Paranormal Cirque. Anyone under 17 requires an adult must have a valid photo ID to get in. No one under 13 admitted.

[Dan Bernstein]

The hell are they doing in there?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Paranormal Cirque Voodoo.

[Dan Bernstein]

His tents are rocking. Don't come a knockin'.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah. Paranormal Cirque Inferno. That looks pretty cool. Oh, there's one called Paranormal Cirque Nightmare. All right, that sounds great.

[Dan Bernstein]

Is there Paranormal Cirque Genital Mutilation? Stay away from that one. Yeah, yeah, that one. Yeah, that was a mistake.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

We need a volunteer. I'll do it.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's doing it. Oh, my God. He's doing it. Did you hear? We actually have a volunteer.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

None of these are close to us, though. I want to go to one of them.

[Dan Bernstein]

A Paranormal Cirque. I had paranormal certs once. Oh, it had way too much. Red Sea

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

St. Louis. St. Louis, Missouri, coming up this weekend.

[Dan Bernstein]

Hey, Box, you want to go to Paranormal, sir?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, I bet you Box is going to that guarantee. Which one is it? This is the Paranormal Cirque Inferno.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

All right. We'll have to get a full scouting report from. From Box about it.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm just. I don't buy the fact that this guy needs to heal up to. To not be shot in the neck again.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

All right, I'm gonna send him 20 bucks to go.

[Dan Bernstein]

You send Rangi 20 bucks to go to Paranormal Cirque?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, I mean, I'll give us a full review of it. You split it with me.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'll do half of that.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Okay. Yeah, well, we need another 20 for his friend. That'll bring. He's got to have a friend that he'll take with him.

[Dan Bernstein]

Why?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Because he doesn't go anywhere alone.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, he does.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He can't be alone.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think he's not allowed.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No, it's not allowed. He just can't do it. He. He's not strong enough.

[Dan Bernstein]

He needs an audience. Yeah, he needs. He needs. Chris Ranji said he's got a guy there repeating everything. Or is it like someone announces him when he walks? Yeah, I'm just gonna say. Is it Paul Bettany from A Knight's Tale?

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you. Or like Bondini Brown with Ali.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's what it is.

[Dan Bernstein]

He has people always walking with him.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He needs to be announced. Oh, Box Lord.

[Dan Bernstein]

Compost Heap and Lady Disinfectant Cake.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, it's like a trip down memory lane here today. Yeah,

[Dan Bernstein]

I think that'll do it for.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I'm gonna end it there.

[Dan Bernstein]

Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered Little. Little.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Little. Little nugget.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Just a little crumb. Yeah, why not put that out there and thank you for being a part of it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, you're welcome. Yeah, no, you don't thank me.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm just making sure I got all my stuff. I get paid to be here. It's fine. And I think I. I mentioned the party that we're having that I expect you to attend. You'll be very farty potty at the party parody, Jean. I still think that would have been funny.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Hey, so where do people go to, like, did people, like, check in or.

[Dan Bernstein]

You can. You don't have.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

You don't have to. You can just show.

[Dan Bernstein]

It would be nice if you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So where do people do that at?

[Dan Bernstein]

On the app? The events page.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

312sports.com or the app. Go to the events page. And if you are planning to come and you're bringing a couple of people with, we would just like to get a number for what we can expect. So just put it on there. Say, hey, I'm coming, I'm bringing my wife, or I'm coming and I'm got

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

a busload of people.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep, that's fine. If you. If you're. If you're driving a bus in from

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Iowa or Waukesha with a cross.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Come on in with your crossbows. See, try to book them for them. You know, I was. I was good Archer.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I could see that.

[Dan Bernstein]

That was good.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, I could see you spent a lot of time is in the woods at camping.

[Dan Bernstein]

I liked. I like, my dad was good at it too, and he.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

No. Did you shoot moving targets or was it just station? Like, did you. This camp you went to, did they hire people to run and you shot at them?

[Dan Bernstein]

Increasing distances. It's all ACA measured and you get little medals and stuff. And I didn't make it as far.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So it wasn't like a preteen hunting camp where you.

[Dan Bernstein]

No.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Kidnap people off the streets and then shot bow and arrow.

[Dan Bernstein]

The coolest thing we did, though. What did they call it? I think it was called buffalo murder. So the coolest thing we did was like couple times a year they would take the regular archery targets, bring them up a hill and out of sight. Like over a hill, up on a hill. You shouldn't see them. And you'd go way down and far away and you would aim straight up.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Well, that'd be dangerous because it came

[Dan Bernstein]

back down on you and land. Well, they were pretty careful about where you were.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

Okay.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

All right. I'll make sure you never know.

[Dan Bernstein]

And land the arrows in the targets just by gravity to hit it. I mean, do you know how hard it is with the wind and everything? Yeah, it's near impossible. It's sure fun, though. It's your fun to launch that thing skyward.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So that'd be fun thing to do. If you could have your giant body pillow shoot at those. Oh, by. I mean you would shoot at Stan.

[Dan Bernstein]

Stan. Stan got moved.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Maybe you can get like a. Like a Jerry Sandusky body pillow.

[Dan Bernstein]

Stan scared my family.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Why? Where do you get moved to?

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, people had been putting him in different places, like in doorways and like on the chair in the basement.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

By people, you mean you and Jason

[Dan Bernstein]

and Beth and Zoe.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, they all would do it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, well, Zoe isn't participating because she thinks it's stupid.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, it's beneath her.

[Dan Bernstein]

But that's like, I got freaked out by that man. I said, don't. First of all, put some respect on his name. That's Stan Van Gundy. That's not that man. It's not that pillow.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Stan the man.

[Dan Bernstein]

You refer to that as Stan. It rhymes with man. So you should remember. And Stan coaches for our sins, and you should just hug him. He takes on all of the horrible feelings and all of the awful of the world through his coaching.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

All right, so give me an example of someone getting scared. Like, where do you put it?

[Dan Bernstein]

I put it like leaning up against the doorway where Beth came downstairs in the basement to the TV room in the dark and saw him. And startled. Was startled. Jason did it to me. And it's going to keep going until somebody gives up on it. But I like seeing Stan. I don't get scared. I say, oh, hi, Stan. And I go up and I give him a hug.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

So our bathroom door is. There's glass in the middle, but it's like rippled, kind of like frosted almost, so you can see through, but you can't really. So when my.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, like the conference room here.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yes. So when she's. But little. Little more transparent, and when she's in the bathroom, I'll just walk in there and I'll press my face up against it. And then she comes around the corner from the bathroom and. Yeah, I know.

[Dan Bernstein]

I do it all now. That would creep me out.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, it scares her that well.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes, it's scary.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Yeah, it is very scary, right? Yeah, this is scary.

[Dan Bernstein]

Don't do it.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I was like, why do you do that? I'm like, well, the same reason I annoyed my kids.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think, well, that's different.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

I can't do it to anyone else, but I can't do it to anyone else.

[Dan Bernstein]

Don't scare your kids. Well, scaring your kids can be fun,

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

but I can't scare anyone else.

[Dan Bernstein]

I get arrested like in the middle of the grocery store or like.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Ah, right.

[Dan Bernstein]

You do it in the hall here. Do it to like, Sherman or Tingle.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Oh, you know, I could do it too.

[Dan Bernstein]

One of those guys kick your ass. Foster wouldn't care. No, Foster wouldn't care. Foster also wouldn't flinch.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He might.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, he's got.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's a sensitive guy.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's got that.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He is.

[Dan Bernstein]

But he's got that thousand yard radio stare when he wants to. Don't let him fool you. That guy's seen some shit, man. I'm telling you.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

True.

[Dan Bernstein]

I mean, I know he's got that easy smile, but that, that, that dude's.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He doesn't have an easy smile.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's a radio vet there.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

He's got an easy smile. Nice glide into a room.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, right. He's always upbeat.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Strong hands.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's DBU on three. One, two.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Is that the end?

[Dan Bernstein]

I think so.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

That's a bad end. Whatever.

[Dan Bernstein]

Bad end.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

See? Yes. Bye. See you next time.

[Dan Bernstein]

Dan Bernstein.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

Unfiltered.

[Dan Bernstein]

Unfiltered.

[Co-host or Producer (possibly Jason or a close associate)]

On three. One, two.

[Commercial/Advertisement Voice]

Sports.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thanks for listening to today's episode brought to you by my bookie.