Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Episode: Duke CHOKES | Illinois ADVANCES to take on UCONN
March 30, 2026
Host: Dan Bernstein
Guest: Matt Abbatacola
Episode Overview
This episode of "Dan Bernstein Unfiltered" dives deep into a wild weekend of college basketball, focusing on Illinois' march to the Final Four and Duke's historic meltdown. Bernstein—unapologetically direct, as always—and producer Matt Abbatacola dissect Illinois' performance and prospects, rip into tournament coaching blunders (especially Duke's John Shire), and riff on everything from NBA draft prospects to their personal travels. The show is packed with candid analysis, personal stories, sports trivia, and light-hearted banter—classic DBU for Chicago sports fans.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Illinois' Once-in-a-Lifetime Opportunity
- Dan opens with the argument that "If Illinois is going to win a national men's college basketball championship, it better be this year" (00:14), emphasizing how the bracket and roster have uniquely aligned for success under Brad Underwood.
- Matt agrees and points out Illinois has looked "unstoppable against VCU" and has earned their way—despite online critics knocking their tournament path (01:13).
- Dan: "You never, ever, ever, ever, ever have to apologize for the teams you have to go through to get where you want to go." (01:49)
Notable Quote
"I never hear Bears fans complaining about the New England Patriots upsetting the Miami Dolphins and the Bears beating the Patriots in the Super Bowl. I never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever hear anybody complaining about that? Because nobody cares."
— Dan Bernstein (02:04)
2. Illinois’ Defensive Growth & Star Power
- Matt notes the off-ball defense of Illinois' Wagler and Su Yakovic, which has stood out in the tournament (02:48).
- Dan credits the team's work ethic and highlights multiple professional-level players: "There’s a lot of guys who are right on that fringe" (03:32).
- Critical factor for Illinois: staying ahead so games don’t come down to a coaching chess match, which is Underwood’s known weakness.
Notable Quote
“The work ethic of this team is tremendous. Really well, too, because you don’t look like that in games unless you look like that in practice.”
— Dan Bernstein (03:32)
3. Tournament Coaching Blunders: Duke’s Epic Collapse
- Bernstein absolutely unloads on Duke coach John Shire, calling Duke’s loss "a choke of chokes" (08:13), driven by boneheaded turnovers and bad coaching decisions.
- Calls out Cameron Boozer as not a "can’t miss NBA great" and describes his physical limitations for the NBA (05:51).
- Matt: "The stat... no number one seed has ever had that big a lead going into his second half and lost. 134-0." (08:16–08:28)
- Discussion of Shire's job security and the politics of change at Duke, given Coach K's shadow (09:14).
Notable Quotes
“That is a choke of chokes. Again.” — Dan Bernstein (08:13)
“You saw the stat about...no number one seed has ever had that big a lead going into a second half and lost. 134-0.” — Dan Bernstein (08:16)
4. Game Analysis: Illinois’ Wins over Houston & Iowa
- Dan observes that Calvin Sampson was "out-coached by Brad Underwood" when Houston ran right into Illinois’ defensive traps (10:27).
- Matt highlights how Iowa's strategy forced Illinois into tough spots, but Illinois’ talent and size won the day (11:12–11:38).
5. Illinois vs. UConn: Outlook & Key Matchups
- Illinois’ size and defensive rebounding will be their main advantage versus UConn (12:40–13:11).
- Player-to-player, Mirkovich is cited as a "stone ass man...a baller" and a key matchup for Illinois (13:11).
Notable Quote
“Mirkovich is just a, he’s a stone ass man. He is a baller. No, he’s...Whatever is needed. Always around the ball. He can defend without fouling. I really like watching him play.”
— Dan Bernstein (13:11)
- Both agree that if Illinois starts slow again, UConn could capitalize—Matt says it’ll be “a very close game” (12:40–12:53).
6. NBA Draft Talk & College Standouts
- Dan is skeptical of "below the rim" prospects like Cam Boozer, prefers athletic guards like Isaiah Evans and Braden Buries, and calls DeBonsa “the guy” in this draft (21:40).
- Exchanges on Arizona’s big man Ivan Karchenkov (with running gags about mispronouncing his name) and the depth of this year’s draft.
7. Merging Player Names: Comic Relief
- Segue into merging generic-sounding college player names for the sake of efficiency: "We don't need both Bennett Sturtz and Braden Smith... we're combining them into 'Bran it Smurts.'" (17:18–18:59)
- Amusing history of similar name-merging with NFL punters and NBA players.
8. Cubs & White Sox Roster Construction, MLB Labor Outlook
- Dan and Matt discuss, in detail, the Cub’s long-term core and contracts, focusing on the comfort this brings amid looming CBA and potential work stoppages (28:20–30:32).
- Matt breaks down contract details for key players through 2029–2031.
- Quick analysis of White Sox slugger Munataka Murakami: early HR streak is built on weak velocity; wait until he proves it on top-tier fastballs (31:32–32:33).
9. Light Segment: Matt’s Turks and Caicos Vacation / Personal News (34:54–43:46)
- Fishing, food, and fun details from Matt's family vacation, plus comic disaster of forgetting underwear ("emergency underpants").
- Emotional segment: Matt’s father passes away, then his grandson is born the next day—Dan: "Congrats, and I'm sorry. Like, what the hell do you text back to that?" (41:41)
- Review of Beaches Resort’s hospitality and amenities.
10. Michael Jordan’s Mansion Saga & Chicago Perceptions
- Dan tells the ongoing story of MJ’s infamous Highland Park mansion, which failed as both a real estate investment and an attraction (43:46–48:56).
- The new plan: rebrand as "Champions Point," attempting to lure tourists without ever mentioning Jordan by name. Both hosts mock the impracticality of the scheme.
- Matt, from his travels, reports locals' associations with Chicago: 1) Michael Jordan, 2) Chicago Bulls, and only one person called Chicago “Chiraq” (51:11).
11. Final Musings: Antimatter on the Move & DBU Picks
- Dan closes the episode with the news that CERN successfully transported antimatter—leads to sci-fi banter and jokes about the Avengers being required to guard it (54:43–59:25).
- DBU Picks:
- Dan bets on Bulls' Modest Bouzelis over 2.5 three-pointers (61:33).
- Matt fires a three-team NBA parlay (62:21).
Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)
- "If Illinois is going to win a national men's college basketball championship, it better be this year."
— Dan Bernstein (00:14) - "You never, ever, ever, ever, ever have to apologize for the teams you have to go through..."
— Dan Bernstein (01:49) - "That's a choke of chokes. Again."
— Dan Bernstein (08:13) - "Mirkovich is just a, he’s a stone ass man. He is a baller."
— Dan Bernstein (13:11) - "[About transporting antimatter:] Don’t move this stuff around without the help of Thor or Spider-Man."
— Dan Bernstein (59:25) - "[On Chicago’s global reputation:] Seriously, two responses were given—Michael Jordan or Chicago Bulls...except one guy [called it] Chiraq."
— Matt Abbatacola (51:04)
Important Timestamps
- 00:01–01:49: Illinois' tourney path & once-in-a-lifetime title shot
- 03:28–05:49: Illinois' defense, team composition, and coaching analysis
- 08:13–09:14: Duke’s collapse, Shire’s job security
- 10:17–11:57: Illinois-Houston and Illinois-Iowa breakdowns
- 13:11: Mirkovich/Caravan matchup analysis
- 21:40–23:56: College draft prospects & Arizona
- 28:20–30:32: Cubs long-term planning and MLB labor context
- 31:32: Murakami home run analysis
- 34:54–43:46: Matt’s Turks & Caicos vacation, family milestones
- 43:46–48:56: Michael Jordan mansion saga
- 54:43–59:25: Antimatter story & sci-fi banter
- 61:33–62:46: NBA picks
Summary of Tone & Style
- Direct, irreverent, colloquial; plenty of inside jokes and references for Chicago fans
- Mix of sharp analysis, sports fanaticism, and comic asides
- Emotionally honest: both in discussing high-stakes games, family news, and life’s unpredictability.
For Listeners Who Missed It
This episode provides a masterclass in authentic sports radio: you’ll get deep (but unfiltered) X’s and O’s on why Illinois could finally break through; the full roast of Duke’s disastrous coaching; a real and personal slice of life from the hosts; and enough sidebars on baseball, food, and science news to keep the Chicago flavor strong. You don’t need to have seen the games to follow the narrative—this breakdown sets up college basketball’s biggest week and doubles as classic DBU entertainment.