Indiana Governor Mike Braun Has No Clue About the Chicago Bears' Future

Summary

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered – Episode Summary
Indiana Governor Mike Braun Has No Clue About the Chicago Bears' Future
Date: July 10, 2026
Host: Dan Bernstein (with Matt Abbatacola and Jason)
Podcast: 312 Sports

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Main Theme / Purpose

This episode centers on the latest chaos and political grandstanding surrounding the Chicago Bears' much-rumored potential move to Indiana, with particular focus on Indiana Governor Mike Braun’s ill-informed, headline-chasing comments. Dan Bernstein debunks the political and media spin, skewers the never-ending stadium relocation saga, and, true to form, delivers sharp, culture-savvy takes on both sports and the personalities behind the news. Along the way, the show also dives into lighter fare—idiosyncratic Norwegian soccer fandom, Friday Feedback Friday highlights, food debates, and top embarrassing sports moments.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Chicago Bears, Hammond Rumors & Indiana Politics

• Bernstein slams Governor Mike Braun’s stadium optimism:
  • Bernstein calls out politicians’ sports metaphors (“five yard line,” “red zone,” etc.) as meaningless.
  • He asserts that nothing substantive has changed in the Bears' situation; political posturing is dominating headlines.
    • “The governor of Indiana is talking out of his ass. So take everything that you—all these headlines about as we're optimistic that this Bears deal is getting done and we’re at the five yard line—stop with the sports metaphors.” [01:01]
  • Bernstein reemphasizes that there is no concrete Bears commitment or timeline for moving to Hammond, Indiana.
  • He highlights logistical, legal, and environmental hurdles (land ownership, divided property, federal wetlands) and notes that actual reporting always points to increased improbability, not momentum.
    • “If you’re putting together parcels of land that they don’t own, on which they probably can’t build for another 50 years. So have fun with that, if you are Mike Braun.” [02:51]
• Mike Braun’s political missteps add context:
  • Bernstein reminds listeners of Braun’s controversial stance on states deciding on interracial marriage, using it as a lens on Braun’s credibility.
    • “Every time Mike Braun opens his mouth, all you need to know about him is that when asked about interracial marriage, he said it should be left up to the states.” [03:25]
  • He makes it clear that the Bears are benefiting from letting Indiana politicians grandstand and soak up free publicity.
• Takeaway: The Bears-to-Hammond talk is, per Bernstein, “fantasy land.”

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Viral Moment: The Norwegian Fan Who Hates the Rowing Celebration

• Bernstein celebrates finding his Norwegian counterpart: Emil Lapin, a fan renowned for refusing to join Norway’s “row” goal celebration—he dislikes it and insists it’s factually wrong.
  • Quotes Lapin: “First of all, I just find it really stupid... it copies what Iceland were doing... it’s factually wrong. They didn’t row over the Atlantic. They sailed over the Atlantic. The Vikings sailed. They didn’t row.” [06:44]
• Bernstein awards Emil Lapin the “Honorary Bernstein Award of the Week” for his grumpy accuracy and refusal to join in.
• The segment spins into a light, irreverent meditation on sports traditions, “yucking someone’s yum,” and family ties.
  • “He's yucking their yum. Because it’s factually incorrect. Those boats were sailed.” [08:27]

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Friday Feedback Friday (Listener Emails and Community Banter)

[12:46 – 42:52]

• Wide-ranging topics from slides and biker fashion to best custard in Chicago:
  • Strong opinions on Culver’s custard and Scooters ("Scooters is wonderful…I'll put scooters up against anything, anywhere, anytime." [16:41]).
  • Banter on how to handle unmelted cheese and whether to eat dessert first.
  • Quirky observations on discount bakery buys (“my family, they like something and then all of a sudden, weirdly, they’ll stop liking it even though I kept buying it” [38:28]).
• Nostalgia and sports trivia:
  • Multiple listeners (and co-host Jason) confess not knowing John Riggins played for anyone but Washington.
    • “Thank you for those emails. Because I felt like a complete moron not knowing that he played multiple seasons for the Jets.” [21:04]
• Waffle House order coding anecdote:
  • Bernstein and Jason are entertained by listeners explaining Waffle House’s condiment-based order system; Bernstein reminisces about dressing as a Waffle House cook for Halloween. [23:25–26:31]
• Sports fandom and data skepticism:
  • A listener challenges survey data implying Packers fans drink less than any other NFL fans (“Packer fans are raging bullshit artists who also may be too perpetually drunk to understand how surveys work” [45:07]), to Bernstein’s delight and confusion.

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Sports Media & Broadcasting

• Listener takes on sports broadcasting “homerism”:
  • Fan of pro bowling defends friendly, positive broadcasting as part of growing niche sports, noting its pitfalls and how objectivity sometimes gets lost.
  • Bernstein pushes back: “I still think the responsibility is to call what’s happening in front of you … That’s the job. I really do.” [42:52]

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Bernstein’s Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Moments

[49:57 – 70:45]

Dan’s countdown is both comic and empathetic, blending Chicago pain with some light schadenfreude:

1. Mark Sanchez’s “Butt Fumble” (2012):

   • “It might be the perfect sports highlight. He runs. It’s the way he falls down, too. It is… cartoonishly he falls down. It is the best.” [68:54]

2. 2003 NLCS, Cubs Game 6 (Bartman Game):

   • “White Sox fans will tell you it’s one of the greatest moments in White Sox history because so many of us are jerks.” [65:19]

3. Greg Norman’s 1996 Masters collapse:

   • “I don’t like Greg Norman. Unlike the Bill Buckner thing, I’m gonna get over this, and I’m gonna find this entertaining.” [63:16]

4. US Men's Soccer vs. Belgium ‘Butt Fumble’ World Cup moment

   • “So many things had to go wrong, the chain of events… ninety-nine other times, it doesn’t happen.” [62:23]

5. Leon Lett’s twin NFL blunders: Thanksgiving game vs. Dolphins and the Super Bowl fumble before scoring.

6. Joe Pisarcik’s handoff fumble (‘Miracle at the Meadowlands’).

7. Chris Webber’s “timeout” in the 1993 NCAA Championship.

8. Tony Esposito’s 60-foot goal in Game 7, 1971 Stanley Cup Final.

9. The Dan and Dave Reebok campaign fail of 1992 Olympics.

10. Fred Brown’s 1982 NCAA title game turnover (unintentional pass to opponent).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Indiana politicians:
  • “He [Braun] just wants to say a bunch of stupid stuff regarding what’s going on with the Bears, fine. That’s cool.” [04:56]
• On Norwegian rowing celebration:
  • “That is, that is standing on fact. That is standing on truth. That is standing on principle. And it may be the ultimate example of taking the fun out of something.” [07:48]
• On Packers fans and drinking data:
  • “I think the natural conclusion from this data is as follows: Packer fans are raging bullshit artists who also may be too perpetually drunk to understand how surveys work. Bear down, fellow meatballs.” [45:07]
• On “Butt Fumble:”
  • “It was the centerpiece of a disastrous sequence in the second quarter wherein the Jets lost three fumbles and the Patriots scored three touchdowns in the span of 52 seconds of game time.” [67:08]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:51–04:56: Bernstein dismantles the Mike Braun/Bears-to-Hammond narrative
• 05:41–08:37: The Norwegian soccer celebration “scandal” and Emil Lapin’s viral moment
• 12:46–42:52: Friday Feedback Friday – Listener mail, food debates, Waffle House, sports fandom
• 49:57–70:45: Top 10 Embarrassing Sports Moments, including detailed stories and analysis
• 70:45–end: DBU Picks (soccer betting choices for the weekend)

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Tone and Style

As always with Dan Bernstein, the episode is sharp-tongued, irreverent, intellectual, and unafraid of honest skepticism—whether toward politicians, sports traditions, or fans. The banter with Jason is laid-back but quick-witted, with plenty of laughter, personal anecdotes, and running gags.

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Suggested Episode Highlights for First-Time Listeners

• Dan’s ruthless deconstruction of stadium politics and the Bears' “move to Indiana” rumor [00:51–04:56]
• The viral, fact-obsessed Norwegian fan story [05:41–08:37]
• Friday Feedback Friday segment for community flavor, Chicago food, and sports nostalgia [12:46–42:52]
• Bernstein’s top 10 embarrassing sports moments for humor and deep sports nerdery [49:57–70:45]

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Conclusion:
This episode is classic Bernstein: pounding away at lazy political spin, celebrating the quirks of sporting culture (both silly and serious), and giving Chicago fans—and sports nerds everywhere—a dense, entertaining hour of laughs, real talk, and communal moments.

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Transcript

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[Dan Bernstein]

unfiltered unfiltered on 312 sports DBU on 312 is brought to you by Chicago Window guys and Russ Armstrong, the owner 847-302-9171. Check out his 5 star reviews at ChicagoNowBeyond.com and we are brought to you as always in partnership with my bookie. The governor of Indiana is talking out of his ass. So take everything that you're all these headlines about as we're optimistic that this Bears deal is getting done and we're at the five yard line stop of the sports metaphors. I politicians cannot help themselves. They don't know if it's the five yard line, the 20 yard line, the red zone, the half yard line. Whatever it is, nothing's really changed. The Bears made a phony baloney announcement that they are that their board voted and that they are turning their focus to it doesn't mean anything. There is no commitment. The mayor of Hammond was in front of their city council making it clear on the record that there's been no commitment. There's been no date given by the Bears. There's no timeline as to whether they would actually commit because they're not really going to. As we talked about yesterday as work continues to get done with negotiations to make things easier for them to eventually build on the land that they own. So they're letting the people in Indiana say all these things. And you notice they're kind of hedging now too. You notice in some of these comments, well, no matter what happens, it put Hammond on the map. I think McCarthy, the mayor of Hammond says like Hammond is cool now or we're going to have to turn away business because of all the attention that it's bringing. No, no, you can live Whatever fantasy land you want, but that is not true. And everything that we find out when there is actual reporting, there just hasn't been enough of it. The actual reporting that's been done every time there is something from a reputable news outlet, it has to do with the increasing impossibility of anything being done there because of federal law, because of these businesses, these areas being owned by other people, because of the federal wetlands being a part of it. Not to mention the fact that when you finally look and try to get people to actually admit what they're looking at, it's a divided site with an interstate running through it. If you're putting together parcels of land that they don't own, on which they probably can't build for another 50 years. So have fun with that. If you are Mike Braun. And the only thing is, every time Mike Braun opens his mouth, all you need to know about him is that when asked about interracial marriage, he said, it should be left up to the states. Just chew on that for a while. I'm just going to leave that there. That he was asked, you'd be okay with the Supreme Court leaving the question of interracial marriage to the states? And he said, yes. About that 1967 Supreme Court ruling. He'd be happy to revisit it, apparently, and this is the kind of person we're talking about who apparently has an issue. He wants to make sure that states can be allowed to decide whether interracial marriage is legal. He tried to back out of that. He tried to say, I didn't understand the question. But when you go back and actually listen to what was said and how many different times he was given every opportunity to back off of that. Every opportunity, say, wait a second, are we sure you are saying what we think you are saying? With the reasoning that he's using? And it was very clear that he was. And then after the fact, somebody said, hey, you know your thoughts on. On potentially making interracial marriage illegal?

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Didn't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Didn't hit maybe the way you wanted it to. And then he said, oh, I didn't understand the question. Yeah, you did. You understood the question and you told on yourself and you showed your ass. So if he's. He just wants to say a bunch of stupid stuff regarding what's going on with the bears, fine. That's cool. Also another subject. I have found my apparent Norwegian counterpart. I did not know he existed. I didn't know that I had one, but I'm proud to say that I do. And we've we have found this guy and I don't know. You've of course seen the celebrations, right? You've seen the rowing celebration?

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

[Dan Bernstein]

They do. Well, there is at least one fan of Norway that doesn't like the fact or believes that that particular celebration was in fact stolen and actually thinks that it is improper for the Norwegians to row. I'm going to introduce you to Emil Lapin. Emil Lapin, this is, this is my counterpart. This is one of my people. And he became noted, he went viral in the picture of all of the jersey clad Norwegians doing their iconic rowing celebration at the World Cup. He's not doing it and he is sitting there with his arms crossed making a grumpy face. So that's kind of made him famous. So what's up with this guy? Well, people found out why he won't do it. He said, first of all, I just find it really stupid. That's the thing. I thought when they came up with it, it was stupid, it was annoying and I don't want to do it. Says Emil Lapin told Sky News now, there's a couple of reasons for this. This is why Emil Lapin gets the honorary Bernstein Award of the Week. I just decided it's something I'm giving out because it's Friday and I'm feeling generous. So congratulations, Emil. He said it copies a lot of what Iceland were doing. And, and this is where I fall in love with him. It's factually wrong. They didn't row over the Atlantic. They sailed over the Atlantic. The Vikings sailed. They didn't row. He says he will not change his mind even if they win the World cup and he will continue to support his country.

[Jason]

My man.

[Dan Bernstein]

That is, that is standing on fact. That is standing on truth. That is standing on principle. And it may be the ultimate example of taking the fun out of something. Congratulations, Emil Lapin. Oh, sure. Rowing and this whole thing of rowing. Well, Iceland did that and the Vikings sailed. They didn't roll. Oh, boy.

[Jason]

That's your guy. Yeah. Check your bloodlines.

[Dan Bernstein]

That is somewhere. Some, somewhere we've got a, we've got cousins somewhere.

[Jason]

But that.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's, he was. Everybody around him is doing it. He's. He's yucking their yum. Because it's factually incorrect. Those boats were sailed. Those boats.

[Jason]

They, they.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because they, you know, the Vikings wanted to conserve their energy for the marauding and the, the sacking and the drinking

[Jason]

and,

[Dan Bernstein]

and the texting and sexting and the taking of cities. They weren't busy. They didn't go down there and have people row. Their ships sailed those big Viking ships, damn it.

[Jason]

Yeah. And I think if the Vikings did have ships that needed to be rode, they certainly wouldn't do that themselves.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, they. They would enslave people.

[Jason]

Yes, 100%. Hey, this morning on off the Ivy, did you and Cody review our stuff, sit back, relax, and strap it on picks or.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, we did not.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because you won.

[Jason]

I did. Oh, so that's why you didn't review it. I get it. Okay. Did you guys do relaxing the strap it on picks today?

[Dan Bernstein]

We did not. Okay, we're gonna save that for when you're there.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

I know you had. You were unavoidably detained with more important baseball responsibilities.

[Jason]

Yeah, we got our first win here, The. The. The opening game of the tournament, so we'll. We'll take that.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right. I. Well, you got no choice. As I always say to Jason when he, you know, he gets a bogey on a hole, he says, I'll take it. And I always say, I. You have no choice because that's the number of strokes that it took for you to get the ball in the hole.

[Jason]

Well, you could always cheat and give less or more, so.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, no, no. There's only to get a breakfast ball out of me to get me to allow him even a, you know, a mulligan takes a lot. There have to be all kinds of extenuating circumstances.

[Jason]

Well, he's better than you are. You shouldn't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, my God.

[Jason]

Yes. Yeah. So he doesn't get mulligans?

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No.

[Dan Bernstein]

I should get all of them?

[Jason]

Yes, you should get as many as you want. You're the five.

[Dan Bernstein]

I should get one a hole. I'm paying. Old. Yeah, I'm old. I'm paying. I drove. So what the hell? What are we doing here? Yeah. All right. These are the big games this weekend, and we'll talk about them when we get to DBU picks, but this is. It's Ari Kane against Erling Holland. Holland Holland. I am having so much fun with it.

[Jason]

Him.

[Dan Bernstein]

I just. I. I like him, and he's fun, and he seems nice. And I hope. I hope. I hope I don't find that there. That he's somehow awful. And this is. This is all misdirected, but the games are great. And wherever you are watching them, you can also have some skin in the game if it makes it fun. There's all kinds of bets available at my bookie. One of them where you don't have to know anything about soccer or football. Will both teams score? That's a bet available for you at my bookie. And you don't have to study. You don't have to go back and watch tape. You don't have to follow injury reports or the weather or anything like that. It's just one of the biggest sporting events in the world and you can be there. With my bookie we have the promo code dbu. Gotta use that when you register and you deposit, because then you can claim a deposit bonus and get up to 500 in protection on your first bet. Bookie. The promo code DBU. And that is only MyBookie.

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[Dan Bernstein]

On Fridays we do something that we have called Feedback Friday. And we've called it Friday Feedback. So what has happened in our nearly first year of existence here at 31 2, sports and DBU? It has become Friday Feedback Friday. And wow, do we have a variety of topics this week? This was, this, this was just absolutely all over the place. And I do my best to make sure I can get back to you when you email and then I save everything in the FF F folder and here it is. I want to start. There was this kind of spring into all fields from Strangles the, the Strangles the Clown Consortium or as it's described here, the Strangles Hunter. Because I, I believe that Strangles the Clown is a, a loose confederation of People.

[Jason]

It.

[Dan Bernstein]

It may be that those who believe Shakespeare didn't write all his plays. The. Whether it was Francis Bacon or. Or. Or others. Somehow if I don't think Strangles as a person actually exists. I think it's more of an abstract concept.

[Jason]

By loose, do you mean like he dropping his seed all willy nilly? What do you mean?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I just. I just. I just. I don't know that there is a Dorano. They fill out articles of confederation.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know how.

[Jason]

It's not.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's not a well run or organized. No, I don't know how formally that they're organized. If they have weekly meetings or if they use parliamentary procedure. I just believe that there is that somewhere that there is a group of people that. That. That result in Strangles the clown. That. What's the word I'm looking for? It's. It's the combined to form comprise. I think he says. My good sirs Dan. I too am a slide wearing recumbent biker. Oh, I do wear socks with my slides whilst riding. Fashion be damned. I don't wear a clown suit. And I also don't do boutique weirdo crossword puzzles while exercising. Oh, bite me. I also he writes have a pair of oofos. Those are those awesome slides that I bought to wear around the house. Is. I love them. But I don't wear Amazon Borat pillow slippers like that freak of Batakola.

[Jason]

Try them, man. Telling you.

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Are they.

[Dan Bernstein]

They're not Borats, are they?

[Jason]

No, they're Bronacks, I think.

[Dan Bernstein]

Broats Bros. Amazon Broats. Oh, speaking of which, did I show you this? No, I. I gotta. This is. This is apropos of nothing. I. I almost started laughing during the show yesterday. You know, Jason works at Play It Again Sports. Also is a fan of Dr. Steve Brule.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

And he had to put a price tag on a skateboard. Can. Can you read this? Can you read what he wrote on there?

[Jason]

No, I cannot.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's he skr. Skateboard. He typed in great board. So just entertaining himself.

[Jason]

Yes. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Please don't fire my son. He's just doing that for fun. I thought that was Hyster and he said this is Strangles here. He says, I'm relieved the U.S. men's National Team was finally eliminated. So I can quit pretending to care about soccer. Don't even get me started about unmelted cheese on a burger. People that do not choose a drive thru lane should be drawn and quartered. And the correct answer is to first, eat your food from Culver's and then for custard, drive straight to Scooters. Not a bad call. Scooters is wonderful.

[Jason]

Yeah, I've never had scooters. We have. There's one here. I think it's Mundelein. It's called Greg's. And it is. It is by far the best thing I've ever eaten.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'll put scooters up against anything, anywhere, anytime. That is Scooters. Scooters is at Belmont and Paulina.

[Jason]

Okay. Yeah. Never had it. Would be happy to try it though. It's.

[Dan Bernstein]

It is. I've gotten. Sometimes I get too. I get anxiety from the flavors.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sometimes. So I just do vanilla custard. Just a plain large cup of vanilla custard. And it is spectacular. It doesn't need a mix in. They're regular vanilla custard on its own. But then the other when they start doing like banana cream with giant chunks of banana and like graham cracker crust chunks mixed in there.

[Jason]

Dude. Yeah. That's how. That's how Greg's is. Greg's custard. It's on 45. And they. You could just get a cup of vanilla custard, just that. And be very satisfied.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep, Yep. It is it. But it's. It's so good. It's so good. Here is Greg and Greg is it says Greg from Union who sent these notes about the. What he saw the blind resume between Pete Crow, Armstrong and Barry Bonds and looking at how similar the numbers are through 385 career games. Is it. Obviously it's Bonds before he started injecting his head with horse semen. But this comp. This is the point being Dan, your Reggie Jackson comp or Mickey Mantle, Willie mays, Ken Griffey Jr. Has me so excited to watch this kid play. Every single day I'm seeing same age comps with Carlos Beltran, Eric Davis, Andrew Jones. Those three players were all at one time superstar to elite level talents. The Cubs have had guys you talk about with your buddies in recent memory. Baez, KB Arietta. This kid is breaking my brain. It is a brain break. I am happy to have the Cubs finally have one of the those guys. I've never been happier. He said. Also I'm setting my over under of the Bears playing elsewhere. 2094. Brian said this and he said several months ago Dan was talking about the children's book called Go the to sleep. Sadly having four children now ages 17 to 24. He said, I am not ashamed to have had four children I'm embarrassed to say I didn't know of this classic book. In my fatherly duty, I shared this with my wife and my adult children. So fast forward to last month. My first grandchild was born to my oldest daughter.

[Jason]

Well, congrats.

[Dan Bernstein]

Congratulations Brian. To say my daughter loves the F word is an understatement. If there were a master's degree there would she'd be well on her way to PhD in use of the F word. Within the first week of my grandson being born, my daughter delightfully shared on the family text thread that my grandson was read his first book and you guessed was Go the Fuck to Sleep. Nice. Not only was she elated that he actually fell asleep, she commented, now I get to go the fuck to sleep. That's great, he said. Love all the shows. Be well. Thank you Brian. That is. That's wonderful.

[Jason]

Hey, I don't know if you have in your list there of of sharing for Friday Feedback Friday, but I want to mention real quick was I I've received several emails and I know we, you and I both at least received one about this. I'm not the only person who didn't know that John Riggins played for another team besides Washington. Right. And the emails I received were from guys that are either older than us, that would have been out of high school when we were in high school, or would have been in high school with us. It's not like, it's not like these are younger guys. These are guys of our age group and older that didn't know that John Riggins played for another team besides Washington. So I didn't feel as bad. So thank you for those emails.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes.

[Jason]

Because I felt like a complete moron not knowing that he played multiple seasons for the Jets.

[Dan Bernstein]

And like I said, the only reason I happen to know is because of a stray football card. I don't know how it ended up where it was. It was a season, you know. You know you get those weird ones sure. In your collection that like you went to camp and you came home with somebody and you didn't. It's like how my cousin stole all my Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars and then claimed he didn't because. Because I had taken them over there because we were doing a thing at some point and they're still in his parents basement in the containers and he says they're his and they're definitely not okay. And I'm still pissed about it because he has them and I. I mean I don't. I wouldn't do anything with him I just kind of want to have them. I. I don't know.

[Jason]

Yeah. It's funny. My kids, who are they. All four of them are all into cards right now, so whether it's basketball or baseball or football. And so I'm at these card shops with them a lot, and we go buy cards and, you know, we're. I watch them negotiate and do their business. So I've. I've slightly gotten into it a little bit. I wouldn't say that I'm. I'm a card guy, but I've gotten into it slightly, and I've bought, like, two box. Two boxes for myself in the last few months, baseball ones. And Cody would love this, because why. Of the 240 cards that I've purchased in, you know, 120 in each box, there has been one baseball manager card that has come up more than one time, and it's the only baseball manager card.

[Dan Bernstein]

If it's not Mike Quaddy.

[Jason]

No, it's not Mike Quaddy. It's Pat Murphy.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, it's got to be Quaddy.

[Jason]

Oh, I would kill for a.

[Dan Bernstein]

Are you kidding? Because you'd send it to him. He.

[Jason]

He.

[Dan Bernstein]

He'd autograph them all for you, maybe do appearances with you to sign them for people.

[Jason]

But in the multiple boxes that. That I've seen my kids open, there has never been another baseball manager card from the 2025 or 2026 season other than Pat Murphy, which I'm collecting them all. I'm going to put a big montage together and frame it and give it to Cody for a Christmas gift.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think you're being trolled. I think that's what's happening. I think somebody's coming after you. James and Racine sent a picture, and it's great. I don't know if anybody's. Have you ever seen the actual key to the Waffle House cooks knowing what the orders are by looking at a plate?

[Jason]

I never have.

[Dan Bernstein]

So what they do is they have a system that uses. If you ever see somebody will set a plate down at Waffle House, and they'll use ketchup packets and syrup containers and mustard packets and what they. That tells you what the order is. And that's how the short order cook can do this and know exactly what goes where. Because there is a system.

[Jason]

Okay. I didn't know.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Based on where it's really interesting where the plates are and what's on the plates. They've got little placeholders using condiments to code to encode the order. And it's A single laminated piece of plastic that they've got taped up to the refrigerator front. And he just says, I feel NFL coaches could learn a thing or two by how Waffle House sets up their orders. NFL coaches have a laminated play sheet with 4,000 play variations on it. Waffle House has one card that can successfully coordinate breakfast chaos at 2am and they've done it for decades. There's no Microsoft tablets, there's no analytics, just condiment packets and absolute confidence. Or the NFL would say, green, right? X Shift, Z, Jet, Spider. Waffle House places a ketchup packet on a plate and everyone understands. Every Sunday, millions watch NFL coaches flipping through their cards. And meanwhile, somewhere off in the interstate, a Waffle House Cook is orchestrating 12 breakfasts with condiment packets, butter pats, and slices of cheese. One of these systems is battle tested 2:37am After a concert lets out. I know which one I trust. Yeah, it is. Give yourself a look at it if you've never seen it before. About the way that they do that and how they all know the code. It's a little secret, little inside Waffle House stuff. Little secret right there. You know, some of us who've been behind, been on that side of the counter before. That's true story. I have, I have served myself my own order while dressed as a Waffle House cook. That has happened on a Halloween when Scott Dibbs and I went to Franklin street at University of North Carolina dressed not only as two Waffle House cooks, two specific Waffle House cooks, and everybody knew who we were. It was great. And they gave us the uniforms and the name tags and the hats. They even gave us a spatula and one of the hash brown like ring things. It was, it was great. Or what was. No, the egg ring. I forgot what it was. We had all kind. We, we had all the stuff. Huh.

[Jason]

This is pretty interesting.

[Dan Bernstein]

I've never seen this. Isn't that cool? Yeah. Depending on where things are on the plate, it tells you exactly what the order is. Otherwise you'd think, what a memory. How does that cook remember every single order that's up there? And they're, that they just, they, they can look down at the plate. They can know when they, when they turn from the griddle and they want to set something down, they know exactly what and where whenever it's ready. Oh, well done steak.

[Jason]

Come on, people.

[Dan Bernstein]

What's wrong with you? That's a piece of Waffle House meat right there. You can't overcook that. Yes, do better that. I Will say, though, that's the only place I'll order a steak generally medium instead of medium rare.

[Jason]

Why is that?

[Dan Bernstein]

I just think it's better. I like, I like the little crispy edges, renders a little bit more of the fat. It's just fine. And it comes away however it comes anyway. And you never even know.

[Jason]

Well, yeah, two in the morning, right?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. You know, you don't care. You're not sending anything back and I'm. And I'm drowning it in A1 sauce. Right, right, right. So here's. Here's Joel, who. Remember when I mentioned I was watching the Cubs game on the Fox broadcast and for their Fourth of July, John Souza, John Phillips use a march that they use. They use the Liberty Bell and the Liberty Bell. You don't know it by name, but when you hear it, it's the Monty Python theme. You know it. He said, I was at the game when they did their broadcast, so I didn't hear the Liberty Bell, but my brain also would have gone straight to Monty Python. Funny enough, at the game, in the middle innings when Alec Burleson walked up to bat, the Cubs organist that night played the Lumberjack song. Said I laughed to myself and I pictured the delightfully chubby Alec Burleson pressing wildflowers, et cetera. I chop down trees, I skip and jump, I go to the lava tree. He said, I just thought you'd appreciate the accidental Monty Python double feature. I do, thanks.

[Jason]

Very good.

[Dan Bernstein]

I do indeed. That. I think you know your audience certainly in that regard. Lee in Warsaw, Indiana said, love the in depth breakdown of strategies for Culver's visits. I had some pushback from Jason when you said that your kids eat the custard first.

[Jason]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

So it doesn't melt. And that eating it first. I don't want to steal the thunder here from the email, but Jason said he does not eat his custard first. He just said he eats his butter burger and fries faster than he would eat a different meal knowing that the custard is waiting for him.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Which ruins it for me.

[Jason]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't want the time constraint. That's one of my anxiety issues is trying to enjoy myself when there is some sort of time constraint. And I would not like that. It would.

[Jason]

So you, you wouldn't. You wouldn't do well eating in prison?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I do great eating in prison. Oh, no.

[Jason]

Why get like 15 minutes and the clock's counting down?

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah. No, that, that's the primary reason why I avoid prison because of the eating habits.

[Jason]

Yes. Yes. Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep. That's. Otherwise. I know. I. It's fine. I'd be in there all the time. You know, I. I do a stretch here or there.

[Jason]

Oh, my God. They would. All the inmates, they would either murder you the first day or they would all vote to somehow get you freed. Please get him out.

[Dan Bernstein]

I thought they'd vote me like their representative.

[Jason]

No, they want you gone. Can this guy get out, please? Yeah, I'd be.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't think I'd be real good in prison. No, I think it's gonna go well for me. So he said. I love the breakdown. The wife and I were literally planning to take our boys there this evening. And more often than not, we'll go in and eat at our local Culver's. We always eat our food first and then get the ice cream or custard as a separate order.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

So the kids meals give you a free scoop.

[Jason]

Yeah. You get a free cup.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes, with the bag. So it works logically for all involved. Maddie, I have experienced your issue of unmelted cheese, but your kids habit solves the problem. If you eat your custard first, that gives your cheese time to melt.

[Jason]

No, it doesn't melt, though, he said.

[Dan Bernstein]

I would agree. A warm but not hot burger is still pretty good. And you can ensure the cheese is melted by waiting. Problem solved.

[Jason]

No, it does. It doesn't melt, though, because I've had times where we've gone through the drive through and the kids will eat their custard on the drive home. And then we all get around the kitchen and we open up the bag and get the food out. And the cheese doesn't melt. It doesn't melt. It has to melt on the griddle. It has to.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, okay. But somebody you could end up overcooking. Like, that's part of timing everything, I guess.

[Jason]

Yeah. You cook it and throw the cheese on, cover it, let it go. Come on. If you're going to talk about homemade and handmade and, you know, we make it fresh to order. Do it right. Damn it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Speaking of things being made to order, the same goes for windows at Chicago Window guys. That this isn't just sort of stock stuff that comes off a truck. Every single window. When Russ Armstrong is in charge of making the windows for your house, every single one he custom makes for your home at his factory that's here in Chicago. There's no subcontracted labor. It's his crew working for him. The same people that installed my windows will install your windows. You don't want randos in and around your house. All these other window companies, they're going to pick people up that day or they're going to use some service that provides people who are picked up that day and then nobody knows who's there doing your bedroom windows from inside your bedroom. So Russ's people give you that peace of mind. And dealing with Russ gives you the peace of mind because of the price match guarantee, because of his lifetime guarantee on parts and labor and the fact that all of these five star reviews are telling you that everybody has had these terrific experiences with Russ and it takes away all the confusion that you have from all of this advertising. It's beating you over the head with teaser rates that end up costing you more in the long run. Just call Russ. It's the easiest thing you can do. Write down this number, 847-302-9171. Check out his five star reviews at ChicagoNowGuys.com yeah, when I was a kid,

[Jason]

my dad was a truck driver. He was a teamster and we used to get things that would, quote unquote fall off the truck. And when, when the windows would fall off the truck, they either they didn't fit, they weren't the right size or they were broken window.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, it was never, never a good system.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

When you have to change your house around to fit the windows, you've probably done it.

[Jason]

It's a problem. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Cindy in Tacoma, Dan, Matt. The football gods are cruel, merciless bastards to those that defy their will. And they were especially vindictive in the round of 16. You might think Canada fell to this because of their coach role playing as the coach from Letterkenny without the charm. But they were just outclassed. Four examples, however, deserve to be highlighted. Neymar has been acting hard over the past few World Cups, being a gigantic flopper. There are montages out there where you can see his best flops and fool the refs into giving unsuspecting victims yellow cards, red cards. It caught up to him as Neymar was a massive detriment to this year's Brazil team. Neymar over the course of the tournament helped blow a few goals and lose their round of 16 game 21 to Norway. Neymar announced his next flop will be onto the couch. Cristiano Ronaldo pulled something very similar to what happened to Baligan in November of last year. He met with Agent Orange and and Gianni Infantino and Saudi prince Mohammed bin Salman. A week later he got a 2 out of 3 game suspension deferred a year. Ronaldo proceeds to lay a gigantic egg all tournament. Before the game against Spain, he announces this will be his last tournament. And the football gods decided to strike. And Portugal once again loses to bigger brother Spain one nothing. Mexico decided to play tricksters to their opponents, namely England while they're at home. And they did the same to their opponents in the round of 32. And Ecuador playing loud music when they're sleeping and other nonsense. Well, Eric Kane took that personally, scored two goals for England in their 32 victory. We got blessed by the gods here with Harry Kane's post game interview where he's absolutely breathless. A genuinely funny moment also earned by being good. And then there's the usa. The story that gets lost before that moment was Baligan saying it was a red card. He seemed resigned to that on Friday that the red card was upheld and the one game suspension would take place. And then on Sunday the defying moment of what the football gods had decided. Agent Orange talks to Infantino and the suspension is deferred a year just like Ronaldo's. The gods showed no mercy. Team USA outclassed, outmatched out everything the fans knew the gods were on one that night during halftime I was on my way home from work. I passed by Lumen Field on the bus and there is a steady stream of fans leaving. I haven't seen something like that for any Seattle sporting event. As for the football butt fumble, I've rewatched it about a dozen times and I haven't stopped laughing. Thank you football gods. May you bless this World cup with strong play and hopefully more hilarity. Amen as always, well written by Cindy. Thank you. Thanks so much. Just a quick note from Bob. Hey, I stopped off at the Mariano's in Elmhurst on the way home from work and I totally agree about their new pricing signs. I forgot my reading glasses or a pair of binoculars. I can't make anything out. And I made a what I thought was a pleasant comment as I left that if they were tallying feedback about the new price tags put me down as a no. And the person there seemed nonplussed. Oh well, good for you Bob. Making your voice heard. They must be easier to change or to increase the prices or something.

[Progressive Trucking Insurance Announcer]

I don't know.

[Dan Bernstein]

But I have to adjust my eye to if something is on sale right now I think they might want it more difficult to see if something's on sale. I don't know why they would but I that that's been my problem.

[Jason]

Hey, you know What? Those reduced sticker prices, Those aren't hard to see. No.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, those, I can, I can sense them. I can. I, I just, I, I, I know it's, it's like a disturbance in the force. If that gets slapped on something immediately somewhere, somebody just discounted thing of pot roast.

[Jason]

Have you ever purchased anything that's a reduced price with the sticker on it? Not needing it. And then it ended up not being

[Dan Bernstein]

eaten all the time.

[Jason]

Okay. Just making sure that I'm not the only one.

[Dan Bernstein]

I was told by my family to stop buying the focaccias because, you know the ones where it's like green olive and black olive on a focaccia, or it's the like tomato basil focaccia Asiago, like, oh, this is a dollar. This looks good, right? And I bring it home not for myself because I thought, oh, everybody, people, Beth will like this. And they did like a intervention. And they said, hey, listen, we're not going to eat these. We don't eat them. And then you get mad when you have to throw them out. So here's the plan. You're not going to bring these home anymore.

[Jason]

Oh, better plan is start eating them, people.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's what I kind of said. I said, you know, it's, it's pretty good. Or that chop block bread, the other one I used to buy, they love that. And then the thing is though, my family, they like something and then all of a sudden, weirdly, they'll stop liking it even though I kept buying it. They go in phases where it's like, I can't keep Greek yogurt in the house. And then like, oh, yeah, we don't like that anymore. And they're like, well, where's the Greek yogurt? I said, well, you stop liking that. Well, I like it again.

[Jason]

Well, yeah, no, that happens when I buy the larger, the larger size. I can't keep these in the fridge, the four pack. So I'll buy the 12 pack. And then they all sit there and they, they rot. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, if something gets started to rot, I'll eat it.

[Jason]

Oh, no, I mean like kid food. No, I'm not gonna like. It was like those squeezable yogurt things. It's like I couldn't keep the four pack in the house because they like, all four will get one. And then the box is empty in the fridge. Yep. And then I'll buy the bigger ones. And then they all sit there.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep. What happened? I don't want them.

[Jason]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

All the time. All the time. Here's something from John and Palatine who says here's a follow up on the nauseating Fox broadcast of the USA Belgium disaster I've been watching, also exclusively on Telemundo. The commenters are great. I speak enough Spanish I can get the gist. The one exception where Fox is the go to is the English matches that have a British broadcast team dripping with sarcasm and disdain. It's fabulous television. But if you may allow me to give Fox's John Strong and Stu Holden some grace because I too am involved in a highly niche sport. For almost all of my 39 years I've been a hardcore fan of professional bowling. I bowl semi seriously myself, can name almost every guy in the PBA tour. I never miss a TV broadcast. I subscribe to the streaming platform so I can watch the early rounds of tournaments. I have a couple friends who are quite literally pro bowlers working the side circuit. Ask me about any mundane detail with bowling, I'll talk your ear off for two hours. This is common in niche sports. Only a few people love Hialai bowling. Cheese rolling. Look it up. It's great. And the world of professional bowling is pretty small. The competitors, the media, the covers and broadcasters tight knit group who share a deep love for the game. The issue that arises becomes the familiarity and friendliness that blurs the lines between objective commentary and the players. It's not limited to small sports. We see it in the biggest sports like football. The amount of NFL media that made the Swift Kelsey Wedding guest list. When small sports get the opportunity to cross into mainstream, their stewards on the mic will want to share their wealth of knowledge while keeping it positive to grow the game. So when someone who doesn't bowl multiple times a week turns on a PBA broadcast on linear TV, they expect to see two guys weighing a combined 600 pounds go strike for strike and it's obviously hyperbolic. Occasionally some TV matches are 157 to 142 and when this happens the broadcast immediately has to go into I promise these guys don't suck mode. While explaining the lane conditions are impossible or whatever else causes low scores, it doesn't do the sport any good for the broadcast to let it fly and a player struggling in a rare time they're on actual television. I'm not saying soccer is the equivalent of bowling like it's the most popular sport in the world, but in the US that same little guy attitude exists when these rare opportunities come when everyone is watching. And if that was possibly it for the number one Fox crew, I understand why they tried to stay positive and reflect on the sport they love. There were 30 million people watching and soccer broadcaster just clipped moments that end up on social media because nothing ever happens during 96% of a typical match. I don't blame them if they didn't want the lasting legacy of the broadcast to be them blasting the God awful performance of the U.S. men's National Team. So their love of the sport ended up overtaking their ability to objectively comment on what was happening in front of them. So we can't be annoyed at broadcasting robots like MLB's Joe Davis and then also be mad when there's deep humanity coming through. Yeah, it was bad, but I get it. Okay. I still think the responsibility is to call what's happening in front of you in. I just think that's the job. I really do.

[Jason]

Yeah. And the begging to stay was. Was just too much. I didn't know there was different lane conditions.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh the. Yeah.

[Jason]

So like they, they're like out outdoor bowling lane?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, it's what I've learned like in

[Jason]

the snow or the sleet.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, that's called curling. And you talk about niche sports, you get our guy Russ talking about that.

[Jason]

But no outdoor bowling though. That's not curling. I would like to see that. I'd like to see outdoor bowling.

[Dan Bernstein]

Have you ever seen the way the, the oil patterns on lanes, the way that the lanes are. Are oiled? Because that's.

[Jason]

No, I don't think I've ever observed a bowling lane that closely.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, well, that's, that's critical. It's fascinating to see some the way that the oil is distributed so the ball can. When it grabs. When you see the ball will spin sort of on the slick area and it's when and where the spin sort of takes effect and it rips into the pocket like late breaking or early braking. It all depends on how the lane is prepared. So that's, that's what I learned about lane conditions. That's all I know.

[Jason]

Interesting.

[Dan Bernstein]

Jordan in St. Charles says gentlemen, through the dregs of Wednesday's DBU, it was notably lacking in the highbrow art I've come to expect from the two of you. Such things as swarming Ds, slippery balls and ass fish. I greatly enjoyed the conversation about alcohol in baseball fandom. Most folks would just assume amount of alcoholism prevailing among fans regularly exposed to such things in baseball as the unwritten rules, lawyers, homophobes, John Smoltz monologues. It was encouraging to see the logic supported by measurables and it had me thinking. If baseball followers are so inclined to imbibe, what of their louder yet physically softer cousins? What of NFL fans? Well, I visited Action Sports's website and I found the research in question. I had to reread the article at least a dozen times apparently. Of the 3,000 plus individuals surveyed last August, the Green Bay packers rank 27th in the number of fans who consume any in stadium alcohol. They rank last at 3.2% of alcohol consumers enjoying five or more beverages in game. And they are firmly in last place with only 36% of fans admitting they pre game with any amount of alcohol whatsoever. In other words, I am to believe that in Wisconsin, the land of encased meats, curdled cheese and mid tier macros, professional football fans are somehow the polar opposite of the Scots in Boston. No matter how you spin this, and with mountains of anecdotal evidence on my side, I think the natural conclusion from this data is as follows. Packer fans are raging bullshit artists who also may be too perpetually drunk to understand how surveys work. Bear down, fellow meatballs. I can't explain that at all. I don't know.

[Jason]

Yeah, I've been to one packers game as a fan, Bears. It was Bears, Packers, a few years back and there was plenty of drinking going on outside the stadium. In the stadium.

[Dan Bernstein]

I had beer bottles thrown at me after a game when the. Yeah, when the media would be at Old Lambeau before they redid it and the media would be put in it.

[Jason]

Oh, you remember, I thought you were with your family. Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

In an outside cage, a literal fenced in, you know, chain link fenced cage, waiting for a door to open to go in and talk to Dave wants that. And people were lobbing empty beer bottles really into the, into the fenced in area on top of us.

[Jason]

Yeah, I mean, the experience I had was very pleasant and the packers fans were a lot more kind and social than I anticipated as a Bears fan wearing bear stuff. But there was definitely a lot of drinking going on inside, outside, before, after, during, for sure.

[Dan Bernstein]

One more here. And this comes from Bottomless Monkey. If you're, you're a longtime score guy. If you remember, you remember the genesis of Bottomless Monkey?

[Jason]

Oh God.

[Dan Bernstein]

I was interested to hear your mention of the Komodo dragon because Douglas Adams of Hitchhiker's Guide Fame wrote nearly 40 years ago about he and his party traveling to the island of Komodo where the dragons had been turned into something of a carnival attraction. Lying around in a gully all day and waiting until an audience assembled. They would be fed a freshly killed goat while the audience watched. And Adams described how these animals, which had evolved little from prehistoric times, have been essentially reduced to a floor show for tourists, and a queasy one at that. Which leads me to my relevant question. When are the Bears moving to Hammond? Thank you, Dave. Thanks so much. And thank you for everybody who contributed to Friday feedback Friday this week.

[Jason]

Nice.

[Dan Bernstein]

My bookie is your place where you have to go for all of your world cup wagering, and there's all kinds of cool things there for goal scorers or whether or not you're going to extra time, whether or not it's going to a shootout. There's all your stuff of spreads and money lines and everything else and parlays. But what you have to do is make sure that you use the code DBU when you register and when you deposit at MyBookie AG, because that's going to get you a deposit bonus, and it's going to get you up to $500 in protection on your first bet at my bookie. One thing you can do if you want to keep it easy, will both teams score or will it be a clean sheet for one of the goaltenders? That's a bet that you can make. So go ahead, check around, find something fun and get into it. Big games are coming up. The code DBU for deposit bonus and 500 bucks in protection. And it is only at my bookie. I did put together a top 10 list, okay. And I did this based on my. My joy and entertainment at seeing the goal that the U. S. Men's national team surrendered to Belgium, where everything seemed to go wrong. It all broke down. The goal was Matt Freeze. Is that the goalie's name? Who came out of the box to play a ball that was bouncing to him, it was just. It was an overshot pass for somebody running. He's like, oh, I can beat this

[Jason]

guy to the ball.

[Dan Bernstein]

And he did, and he chested the ball down and he tried to kick it and his toe stuck on the ground. And then the ball was stolen from him, played back to another Belgian who kicked it toward the goal. But luckily there was a defender there that he. He was. Tim Ream was right there ready to make a play, except instead of making a play, he did a bizarre back pirouette that I compared to Irish dancing doing river dance. Michael Flatley, Lord of the deads. And he just sort of kicked out his leg behind him and it went in the goal, and that was essentially the game and the World cup for the US and it is absolutely hilarious. So I wanted to revisit embarrassing sports moments. And I had to draw a line here between embarrassing and ones that I might remember that aren't necessarily national or international and ones that. That aren't just tragic and awful that makes you feel terrible. So I tried to do that here. So what I had. What is not on the list is the Bill Buckner ball through the legs. Just because of. It's still painful to watch. I still. Even though Bill Buckner was an. I still feel bad about. Just because he was a really, really good player. He was hall of very good for a long time. He had like 2800 hits or something like that. And I just. Something about that. I don't. It doesn't bring me a lot of joy to watch that play. And the same goes for what I have at number 10. And Maddie, do you remember Fred Brown in the. In the national championship basketball game?

[Jason]

I don't out top my head. I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. It was. Fred Brown was the player on Georgetown in 1982. We remember in the Superdome it was Michael Jordan making the basket. Right. That put him ahead. And Georgetown had a chance even though Jordan made that shot. And Fred Brown brings the ball up for Georgetown and threw it away. Just gave it to North Carolina. Just threw. He made a pass to. He thought was to a teammate.

[Jason]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

It wasn't even really a steal. He just gave it away.

[Jason]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was kind of like what the Boozer brothers were doing this year. No, but not. Not quite as dramatic.

[Jason]

And.

[Dan Bernstein]

And I just remember John Thompson hugging Fred Brown. That his response and that was not angry. Coach. I just lost the national championship.

[Jason]

Oh my God.

[Bilt Protein Bar Announcer]

So bad.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was. It was his fatherly that. That paternal hug. It was. I'll never forget that. So that. That I didn't get any joy out of that. Number nine on my list is more as much a business fail as a sports fail. And I don't know if you remember the hype involved with Dan and Dave in 1992. Remember Dan and Dave?

[Jason]

Yep. For sure.

[Dan Bernstein]

Dan and Dave were decathletes. And there was. I forgot Dave Johnson was his name and Dan o' Brien was the other. And they were both handsome American decathletes. And because after the. The whole Bruce Jenner experience we knew what a. What a decathlete could be and what it could mean. And the other cover of Wheaties boxes and the greatest athlete in the world in the whole thing. So Reebok Went in hard.

[Jason]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

NBC went in hard. O' Brien was the world champion and Dave Johnson was his rival. Dan and Dave. Dan and Dave. You gotta watch the Olympics in 92 on NBC. You gotta watch. And Reebok. And I think 92 was Barcelona.

[Jason]

Right. And that was the dream team. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

But this was. This was huge. The problem was Dan o' Brien didn't make the team. Oopsie.

[Bilt Protein Bar Announcer]

He.

[Dan Bernstein]

He had a problem with the pole vault during qualifying. And he had. The starting height was 15:9. He just had to clear it and he didn't. And he ended up in 12th place and he didn't make the team. So as much as that sucks, I'm thinking if you're the ad exec who pushed this through, if this is your baby, if you're the guy in the meeting said, look, I've got it. Look at these guys, at Dan and look at Dave. And this is. This is. And if you're that guy, you're coming to work the next day, be like, hey, how's it going? Like, how. How can that possibly happen? So Dan o', Brien, my number nine. Number eight. And this is really specific. I didn't even live it, but I've just the amount of pain. Boy. Terry Boers used to talk about this. 1971, game seven of the Stanley cup final, when Tony Esposito.

[Jason]

Canadians. Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. And Jacques Lemaire scored from the red line.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was a slap shot that apparently just somehow they weren't. He wasn't ready or it got over his shoulder and boom goes the dynamite. And it went in. It went in. It was explained afterward by now the historian for the Blackhawks, Bob Verde, who said that there was so. Because it was so warm outside and there was so much fog in the arena. Bob Verde of the Trib said, that shot went through a humid haze which hung over the ice. It was a 60 foot shot. The Hawks were up to nothing. And the game changed after that. Esposito said the Hayes had nothing to do with it. I just missed it. No excuses. John Beliveau said, if we hadn't gotten this one, we would have been dead. And Jacques Lemaire said, Chicago let down a little bit after my goal and it allowed Henri the Rocket Richard to take over. Is he Rock Pocket Rocket or Rocket is Maurice Richard and Henri Richard. I know one is the Rocket one. The Pocket Rocket.

[Jason]

But.

[Dan Bernstein]

And yes, that was his nickname. That is number eight on my list. That 60 foot goal that went in by the. The Blackhawks love that.

[Jason]

From. From Esposito though, I mean, that's a. That's a great ability right there. The accountability.

[Dan Bernstein]

You like that, like availability. The Other one, number seven, Chris Weber, 93 calls a timeout he doesn't have. It's just that, you gotta know some people wanted to pin that on coaching, you know, have guys ready to say, we don't have any timeouts, don't call it time. But he, he did. And he's been mostly a real good sport about it because he sure heard enough about it.

[Jason]

That's. That's Duke. Michigan, right?

[Dan Bernstein]

No. Also North Carolina.

[Jason]

Oh, yeah, North Carolina.

[Dan Bernstein]

Michigan.

[Jason]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Jason]

I was watching. I was with a bunch of buddies from college and we were watching that game at somebody's house. I can't remember whose house we went to, but one of. One of the parents had everybody over and we were watching the game and it was all like North Carolina and Michigan fans and man, we were. My one buddy who was a Michigan

[Dan Bernstein]

fan, we were just giving it to him.

[Jason]

I didn't care either way. I was just hanging out. But boy, were you giving it to him. That was fun. That was a. That was a fun game up until that. That bad moment.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, but you know, it's not. Nobody died. It's fine because I. The other things I took off here,

[Jason]

I remember being a fun. That was a good game, wasn't it?

[Dan Bernstein]

I think so.

[Jason]

Not remembering it correctly.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think so. I know a lot of national championships just blow. Number six, the psarchic fumble. The miracle at the Meadowlands. Change the game. If you ever wonder why in victory formation there are two fast guys that stand with their hands on their knees at 45 degree angles behind the quarterback. Say, what are they doing there? They are there to guard against the Pisarchik fumble happening. And I'm not kidding because it did happen. All Joe Pisar Chick had to do was take a knee. The giants were up 17 to 12. This was 1978 and it's the Giants in Giants Stadium against the Eagles. The Giants, all they had to do is run out the final seconds. The Eagles had no timeouts left. Okay, what happened? The Sarcic tried to hand it to Larry Zonka, the sure handed fullback famously from the Miami Dolphins, now with the Giants. And as he tried to do it, Pisarchuk kind of started to fall down and the ball never made it to Zonka. The ball is on the ground and Herman Edwards picked it up, ran 26 yards for the winning touchdown. And that was exactly what the Eagles needed because it ended up Leading them to a playoff berth.

[Jason]

Wait, you told me Larry's uncle played for another team besides the.

[Dan Bernstein]

I know, I know.

[Jason]

Yeah, that Michigan North Carolina game, it was 73 to 71 with 11 seconds remaining when Weber called a timeout. Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. So number six, the Pizar chick fumble. Number five. And I'm counting these two things as one thing just because it's. We couldn't believe that it was the same guy involved in both of them, but both Leon Let moments. Oh, Leon. We knew that the Cowboys were all excited after blocking what appeared to be the game winning field goal attempt. The Cowboys block it and instead of just letting the ball come to a stop, he tried to pick up the ball. He slid to recover it and oops, he touched the ball. And now it's a live ball again. Don't do anything, get away from it. Wait till the whistle. And everyone's reminded that Leon Let was the guy that made that mistake. And he was also the guy in the super bowl who recovered a fumble and then slowed down as he got to the end line. And he didn't do the college thing of dropping it on purpose because there's, there's nothing that explains that somebody being too cool to actually walk into the end zone with the ball and they drop it before they reach the end zone. He at least had the ball knocked away from him because he reached the ball out, he points it and he's showboating to the fans. And Don Beebe, the career defining play stripped the ball and forced a touchback. So the combined Leon Let plays add up to number five. Okay, I'm going to put US Men's soccer team against Belgium at four.

[Jason]

Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Thought it might be a little higher, but sure, that works. No, I'm going to. I'm going to put it at 4. And maybe if we're just doing the most entertaining, it might end up being number one. Just because so many things that go wrong, the chain of events and how many times that play could have been avoided. What had to happen? The one out of a hundred things that have to happen when 99 other times they don't. Or maybe more. I'm going to give that well discussed play. The ranking of fourth on this list. Number three, 1996 Masters. The Greg Norman choke final round. 1996. Greg Norman leads Nick Faldo by six shots. In 1986. You remember Greg Norman won the Open Championship, won the the British Open in 1986. But he had led all four majors that year and he only won one of them. So here he is up six shots, and people are kind of looking like, hey, you know, he's had a history of letting these things slip away. On the ninth hole, Norman hit the wedge on the false front green, rolls back 30 yards. He makes bogey and then three consecutive bogeys. Double bogey. 20 minutes, six holes. He surrendered six shots. He lost by five strokes to Nick Faldo. I think it was a little more than 20 minutes. I know this article here said 20 minutes. This is Smithsonian magazine. I think it's their woke. Their wokeness makes them get things wrong. They're just too woke. That damn Smithsonian spreading all of these indoctrinating communist principles. Principles to everybody and endangering our precious bodily fluids. But credit to Nick Faldo for his steadiness. And I remember on the score, Brian Hewitt, who was a friend of Terry's, and Brian Hewitt from the Sun Times, the golf rider. And he was on. And he described. He used a fishing analogy, and he described Nick Faldo as calmly reeling in. He said he just reeled him in. And I remember the pain of watching Greg Norman, but I don't like Greg Norman. And it's unlike the Bill Buckner thing. I'm gonna get over this, and I'm gonna find this entertaining because I. I do. So that's number three, number two, Cubs game six, 03. That was it. Almost impossibly orchestrated or. Or written somewhere. If you believe in predestination, if you believe in determination or determinism or baseball gods we've been through. I don't have to tell you the sequences. I. I don't know. I don't have to tell you about the. The Baartman ball, the Moises Aloo tantrum, the feeling in that building, the tone of the whole team, the Alex Gonzalez error. Everything that happened, happened, and it's. And White Sox fans will tell you that it's one of the greatest moments in White Sox history because so many of us are jerks. But with that in the Steve Garvey homer. But Cubs in oh, three. Like, it can't. It couldn't happen. And it did. I remember I was on, I think MSNBC or something, talking about how, you know, the smart money still has to be on the Cubs because of the pitchers they have going in these final two games. You can't count them out. You know, Kerry Wood and Mark Pryor are scheduled to go. This is what it comes down to. They're playing at home. And I sure wanted him to win, so I didn't sound like an idiot on national tv. But boy, the. The White Sox fans in my orbit could not have enjoyed that in real time more than. Than they possibly did. So the Cubs. Oh, three. I noticed Maddie's real quiet right now. The Cubs in O3 is number two. You know what's number one, right?

[Jason]

You know, is it Mark Sanchez?

[Dan Bernstein]

It's the actual Butt fumble. Yes, of course it is, because it might be the perfect sports highlight. I think it may be good, bad, indifferent. Can I just give you the way it's explained on Wikipedia? In front of the home crowd of over 79,000 fans at MetLife Stadium, in a primetime television audience of over 20 million, jets quarterback Mark Sanchez collided with the buttocks of his teammate. Shot me in my buttocks. Offensive lineman Brandon Moore, causing a fumble, which was then recovered by the Patriots safety Steve Gregory and returned for a touchdown. The play was the centerpiece of a disastrous sequence in the second quarter wherein the jets lost three fumbles and the Patriots scored three touchdowns in the span of 52 seconds of game time. In that second quarter, the jets held the ball for over 12 minutes out of a possible 15, but were outscored 35 to 3. Yikes. That's even better. It's. You gotta watch it. It's. It is. It's idealized sports. It's the best. It is. He runs. It's the way he falls down, too. It isn't just colliding with the buttocks of his teammate causing a fumble. It's how it looks. It's how cartoonishly he falls down. And it is. It's.

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[Dan Bernstein]

It's the best. Yeah.

[Jason]

The entire context of that. That. That's amazing. All the other detail to it. I mean, that makes it even better.

[Dan Bernstein]

According the Butt Fumble, Sanchez lost the ball 24 times in the 2011 and 2012 seasons, he said. In 2013, the jets quarterbacks coach instituted a program to cut down on fumbles by teaching Sanchez to hold the ball with both hands in what Lee calls the Sanchez Drill. David Lee, the quarterback's coach, what he calls the Sanchez drill. The quarterback runs a gauntlet of people trying to knock the ball out of his hands with foam bats. Jesus. Here's what Sanchez explained. I was thinking a different play in my head. That was a mental error there. As soon as I realized there's no one to hand it to, I started to run toward the line and try to cover it up and get down, and I slid right into Brandon Moore. I was just trying to get down. The play was over. Say, uncle, do the right thing. Get to 2nd and 10 live to play another down. I'm not a big believer in luck, but that was pretty unlucky. It was really too bad. Later he said, it's embarrassing. I'm not trying to force something. I start to slide. I slide right into Brandon Moore. It's like a car accident. I was like, whoa, what just happened? Then the ball's gone. It was weird.

[Jason]

What year. What year was this?

[Dan Bernstein]

This was 2012. November 22nd.

[Jason]

All right, so 13 years market. That wasn't your most embarrassing moment,

[Dan Bernstein]

that. This was. This. This is it. But butt fumble is it. And then Mark. Well, I don't count the other one.

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One.

[Jason]

I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't count the getting stabbed by a guy he was apparently trying to kill.

[Jason]

Well, no, that's. That's not embarrassing, but I.

[Dan Bernstein]

Not. Not. It takes away a lot of sympathy, I'll say that. Yes, it's. It is a sympathy mitigator at the very least. So that's it. There's our. Our top 10 most embarrassing sports moments. Congratulations to U.S. soccer for now making number four. And now it's time for DBU picks presented by my bookie, Maddie. You.

[Jason]

You want me to go?

[Dan Bernstein]

All right, I do.

[Jason]

All right, well, here are my picks. So looking at the soccer or the football for this weekend or the remaining games, whatever, I don't even know what days they are, if it's today, tomorrow. But we're gonna go with Spain minus one goal against Belgium. So Spain minus one. Norway getting half a goal versus England. And we're going to take Argentina and Messi minus half a goal against Switzerland.

[Dan Bernstein]

All right, I am going to take England to beat Norway, and I'm also going to take Erling Holland to score in the losing effort. So those are going to be where I'm planting my flags here. I've got the English flag to win, but I've got Hollands to score a goal. And those are my DBU picks. Lock in your picks now with my bookie Bet on anything, anywhere, anytime. And that is going to be our Friday edition of Dan Bernstein unfiltered here on 312Sports. Thanks for joining us. As always, we have been brought to you by Chicago Window guys and Russ Armstrong. 847-302-9171, chicagowindowguys.com and in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein, Unfiltered. Unfiltered on three. One, two, Sports.

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