MJ - NBA Brand Ambassador?

Summary

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Dan Bernstein Unfiltered – MJ: NBA Brand Ambassador?

Episode Date: October 22, 2025 | Host: Dan Bernstein | Producer: Matt Abbatacola

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Episode Overview

Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola break down the NBA’s return to NBC, focusing on Michael Jordan's new role as a Brand Ambassador and his "Insights to Excellence" segments. They also recap NBA opening night, discuss the Bulls’ season outlook, compare the attitudes of basketball legends like MJ and George Gervin, touch on issues like deepfake broadcasting, and deliver quirky sports stories (including a Sammy Hagar impersonator). As always, the conversation is irreverent, sharp, and packed with Chicago sports flavor.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

NBA Returns to NBC & Opening Night Analysis

• Mike Tirico as Lead Broadcaster

  • The hosts praise Tirico’s professionalism, adaptability, and flawless delivery across sports.

    “He never stumbles. He never ever stumbles.” (Bernstein, 02:36)

  • They discuss how Tirico’s research and steady presence elevate broadcasts.

• Thunder vs. Rockets Double OT Game

  • Reactions to an exciting double-overtime:
    • Anticlimactic end with free throws (SGA drawing the foul, making the go-ahead points).
    • Rockets’ unique tall starting lineup was discussed with some meme-culture humor (“six, seven”).
    • Kevin Durant's actual height and stigma against “seven-footers” was debated.
  • Memorable Play-by-play Replay (05:24–05:36):

    “And the Thunder with an opening night victory. So, yeah...I just didn’t want the winning shot to be at the free throw line.” (Abbatacola, 05:24)

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Michael Jordan’s Role as NBA Brand Ambassador

• NBC Segment: ‘Insights to Excellence’

  • Jordan appears in a video series from his living room (possibly the same as in ‘The Last Dance’ rather than a studio), sharing basketball wisdom and reflecting on his career.
  • The hosts riff on the ease with which MJ ‘gets paid’ and the performative nature of these segments:

    “So Michael Jordan gets a huge check from NBC... You can come into my house and ask me how awesome I am.” (Bernstein, 12:28)

• Highlight: MJ Interview Excerpt with Mike Tirico
  (14:02–15:06, MJ’s words in original tone)

  • When asked why he wants to share about basketball:

    “Pay it forward. You know, I have an obligation to the game of basketball. Not financially. I'm okay. ...As a basketball player is to be able to pass on messages of success and dedication to the game of basketball...I wish I can take a magic pill...That's the type of competition...I miss that aspect of playing the game of basketball. Being able to challenge myself against what people see as great basketball." (Jordan, 14:11–15:06)

  • The hosts joke that MJ can’t help but position himself as better than "what people see as great basketball" today.

• Jordan’s Attitude: Competitive Edge and ‘Paying It Forward’

  • The consensus is that for all his “giving back,” MJ exudes thinly veiled scorn for today’s players:

    “You just paid him money for him to be like, what could possibly potentially be perceived as good? ...I kill all these dudes.” (Bernstein, 17:22)

  • Bernstein and Abbatacola lampoon the segment as MJ simply reminding everyone he’d still dominate if he wanted:

    “I take a magic pill...I might just do it right damn now...and I'm gonna kick all your asses.” (Bernstein, imitating MJ, 16:00–16:09)

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Contrast: George Gervin’s Humility

• George ‘Iceman’ Gervin on Today’s NBA
  (20:29–22:35)

  • Gervin humbly states he’d have “none” points in today’s game:

    “Because I couldn’t play. What do you mean? These guys are so much better than them guys.” (Gervin, 21:09–21:15)

  • On the evolution of the game:

    “I had my turn. These guys turn and let them enjoy it like I enjoyed it when I had my turn.” (Gervin, 21:19–21:23)

• Hosts’ Takeaway: Two Kinds of Legends

  • Gervin’s comments are lauded as the real way to “pay it forward”—recognizing the game’s growth.
  • In contrast, MJ’s approach is to assert his everlasting dominance, with little genuine respect for new stars.

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Broadcasting Tech: Deepfake Voices

• NBC’s Use of Deepfake Jim Fagan (NBA on NBC voice)
  • Mixed feelings: Bernstein finds it off-putting and would prefer opportunities for new voices.

    “Let people die. And let that be an opportunity for an up and coming booth announcer to do another voiceover.” (Bernstein, 25:15)

  • Abbatacola is more forgiving if it’s just an opening-night tribute.

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Chicago Bulls Season & Local Sports Bad Luck

• Injury Rundown (Bulls vs. Pistons Opener)
  • Kobe White out (calf), Zach Collins out (wrist), Patrick Williams (game-time decision), Ayo Dosunmu likely to play.
• Sudden Animal Rescue Tangent
  • Bernstein tells, in typical Chicago storytelling style, a long fishing anecdote involving rescuing a bat—illustrating his quirky passion for animals (31:31–34:21).

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NFL: Bears vs. Ravens Preview

• State of the Bears
  • 4–2, heading into Baltimore with a chance to keep a win streak going.
• Perception and Narrative
  • Despite the record, national power rankings still don’t buy the Bears; a win against the Ravens could swing that narrative.

    “Five wins in a row is hard to keep making excuses for at that point.” (Bernstein, 43:05)

  • Bears’ performance impacts Coach of the Year odds (Ben Johnson leading contenders at +700).

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Michael Jordan’s Segment

  “Thank you for letting us into your home. ...What do I have to say? I’ll beat all these motherfuckers.” (Bernstein paraphrasing MJ, 15:39–15:58)

• On Broadcasting Gifts to Jordan

  “All he’s got to do is sit there in his pajamas and say he’d kick everybody’s ass.” (Bernstein, 16:29)

• Comparing Generations

  “That’s what paying it forward looks like. Paying it forward is: I have an immense respect for how the game has evolved and how the game has improved.” (Bernstein, re: Gervin, 22:39)

• NBA Voice Deepfake

  “Let people die. ...Let them die with some dignity.” (Bernstein, 25:15)

• Riffing on Bulls’ future commentary

  “I’ll be the Michael Jordan of DBU. ...By letting people in your house.” (Abbatacola, 35:09–35:13)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Time (MM:SS) | Segment | |------------------|------------------------------------------------| | 00:08–03:22 | NBA NBC broadcast review; praise for Tirico | | 03:53–06:55 | Thunder vs. Rockets discussion; endgame analysis| | 12:19–17:34 | Michael Jordan ‘Insights to Excellence’ breakdown| | 20:29–23:10 | George Gervin humility and paying it forward | | 24:41–26:22 | Deepfake Jim Fagan on NBA on NBC | | 27:05–29:51 | Bulls injury rundown & opening night preview | | 38:21–43:26 | Bears-Ravens preview and Coach of the Year talk | | 47:16–52:34 | Hilarious story: Sammy Hagar impersonator |

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Notable Quotes

• Dan Bernstein (about MJ’s presence):

  “You can come to my house. You can send Mike Tirico here. And then I’m just gonna tell you how awesome I am.” (13:22)

• Michael Jordan (on competing again):

  “I wish I can take a magic pill...that's that type of competition, that type of competitiveness is what I live for. And I miss it.” (14:35–14:38)

• George Gervin (on comparing eras):

  “These guys are so much better than them guys...I had my turn. These guys turn and let them enjoy it like I enjoyed it when I had my turn.” (21:15, 21:19)

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Tone & Flavor

• Irreverent, smart, and entertaining—blending genuine sports expertise with Chicago-style sarcasm and humor.
• Both hosts riff continually, with gentle self-deprecation and nostalgia.
• Even when dissecting major figures, the tone is unfiltered and bracing:

  “He’s the sharkiest shark of any shark that ever lived.” (Abbatacola, about MJ, 17:58)

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Summary in a Nutshell

The episode dissects the spectacle of Michael Jordan as an NBA Brand Ambassador—finding his “legacy wisdom” more about self-mythologizing than true mentorship—while contrasting him with legends like George Gervin who humbly acknowledge the game's evolution. Along the way, the show touches on NBA opening night, the Bulls’ precarious health, Bears’ playoff prospects, and serves up classic oddball stories—all with the irreverence and candor long associated with Dan Bernstein.

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Transcript

[A]

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered. Unfiltered on 312 Sports.

[B]

Welcome to Dan Bernstein Unfiltered here on 312 Sports. Dan Bernstein, our executive producer, Matt Abaticola. We are presented in partnership with my bookie and we have much to discuss today. We had the start of basketball season last night and its own story was the return of the NBA to NBC and the presence of no less a sports God than Michael Jordan just deigning to lend himself to the broadcast to give back or pay it forward somehow to the game of basketball. It's never just basketball with Michael. It's ever professional basketball. It is always the game of basketball. So we'll talk about that. I want to talk a little bit what happened on the floor in the NBA last night. The Bulls are opening the season tonight. Go get them. Against the Detroit Pistons. They're down several players perhaps. And I also think that we should discuss this upcoming Bears game now that the Bears are getting back to practice and they will be meeting the media today. The 4 and 2 Bears looking to extend their four game winning streak at Baltimore against a Ravens team that even with the return expected of Lamar Jackson and Roquan Smith is certainly something less than the intimidating trip it might have been. However, as we discussed yesterday at length, Bears are still six and a half point underdogs and we'll see. And I have a story from the state line area that could not be more awesome to close today's show. I'm having so much fun with it and I, it is. I just can't wait to get to it. But we're going to have to wait because we have other things that we have to discuss, including last night. It was fun. I enjoyed it. I really, it felt big and I'm not going to quibble too much. They had some typical opening night issues and there are some things that are going to work out but I think, I think NBC is putting themselves there was a good foot forward for what these broadcasts are going to be. Mike Tirico was his usual highly professional self. He's almost too good. Like how does for the number of sports that he does the. He never stumbles.

[A]

He's very good.

[B]

He never stumbles. Yeah, he is. He never ever stumbles.

[A]

Yeah, he rarely, he rarely misspeaks. Has. He never identifies anyone incorrectly. He's very smooth regardless of the sport he's doing. It just feels like that's his main sport. Yet they all feel that way.

[B]

Olympic sports. Yeah. All the stuff the guy's talking about. Curling or biathlon. And his research is impeccable.

[A]

Well, he's just. He's a really easy listen to, which I really appreciate.

[B]

Yeah, he is. He's. He's. He's exactly what an NBA broadcast needs.

[A]

He's what they call a pro is pro, Dan.

[B]

Yeah. And that's getting harder to do. And he just never. He takes every assignment and he does everything with aplomb.

[A]

Now, that Thunder Rockets game was a lot of fun to watch. I didn't watch the overtimes. I was too tired. But fun game. And then go back this morning to watch. I just. I was not satisfied with the. With the way it ended. I know there was a last second shot from the Rockets to take the lead. So they got a final shot off, but for the Thunder to get the lead on free throws. And it was. I'm not arguing the call. It was the right call. Durant. Durant fouled. SAG followed him.

[B]

Good call, sga.

[A]

Sga, sorry. Fouled him. And he. You know, he makes the free throws, but it's just. It was.

[B]

So that's how sga.

[A]

I know, but it was, though.

[B]

That's.

[A]

It wasn't satisfying at all, though. I wanted a better ending for a double overtime game.

[B]

And I called it, too. And they're saying, like, look, SGA going into the fourth quarter only has 11 points. I'm like, okay, all right. Watch this. Like I say, if you're a gambling person and you're. He was just waiting. Yeah, he was waiting. Cause you know what he does? He's. He is mega. Demar. The idea of getting in the lane. Pump fake, pump fake. Heze. Hesi. Stop start. He. He can foul hunt as well as anybody I've ever seen. He can just get fouled.

[A]

Yeah, I just. I just didn't like the way it ended. But it sounded like this, though, at the end of the game. This is.

[B]

This.

[A]

I love this stuff.

[B]

Shen Gu is free. Shen Gun to the basket. Shenun scores.

[A]

Just a good call.

[B]

Timeout, Thunder. Caruso looking to trigger Duran carding. SGA slides back. We're down to six left. Gilas Alexander double team. He turns. He pumps guts down by Duran. The Thunder lead by one. Adams looking. They get it to Jabari Smith. His tongue for the win. Good. And the Thunder with an opening night victory.

[A]

So, yeah, exciting. Double overtime. And SGA gets the call, makes both free throws. But again, satisfying that there was a last second shot, but I just. I didn't want the winning shot to be at the free throw line.

[B]

That's all. The. If the Rockets needed an announcement to say keep an eye on us and have us on a lot of national TV games, man, when they trotted out that lineup, did you see their starting lineup? Yeah, there's. Their shortest player was 6, 7. Their shortest players, 6, 7, 7. 6, 7, 6, 7.

[A]

I like that. You learned about that yesterday.

[B]

I know. I didn't learn about it yesterday. I learned about it from South Park.

[A]

Oh, that's right. That's right.

[B]

I watched the south park episode six, seven.

[A]

So you know, you know where that came from. A kid was asked to evaluate his own. I don't know if it was a dunk or some play. And he says would give it like a six or a seven. That's all it was. And it. It just.

[B]

It accelerated from there, but it came from a song. The song Do Doot. Right? And then there was the memes to the song that then used lamello ball because he's six.

[A]

But dude, it just.

[B]

It six, seven.

[A]

It's explodes. And like, you. Can I say that at football practice in the huddle? I. I'll just say, like, I've deliberately made my practices this week six to seven, so I can just tell the kids in the huddle, hey, we practice Wednesday, Thursday, 6 to 7, they all go crazy.

[B]

So, yeah. Amen. Thompson, 6, 7. Jabari. 610. Kevin Durant, 6, 10. Alper and Shangun, 611. Stephen Adams, 611.

[A]

So you're saying they're tall. Those.

[B]

Those are your starters.

[A]

That's a tall lineup.

[B]

Those are your starters. And Durant isn't 6, 10. Durant is 7ft tall, but he won't list himself at 7ft tall. It was like Kevin Garnett used to do. Kevin Garnett would.

[A]

He was a six, nine.

[B]

He was a six, ten and a half, whatever it was. Kevin Durant is seven feet tall.

[A]

No, he was six, ten, six, nine.

[B]

He is seven feet tall, but he doesn't want to be known as a footer. Apostrophe footer. Seven footer.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because there's still a stigma against. Because if you're sending well, then you got to be close to the basket. You can't be a guard if you're 7ft tall. I hope he's the last one. He's 37 years old, and I hope.

[A]

He looks every bit as 37, too.

[B]

On the card. He's never cared about his hairline.

[A]

It's not. Not his appearance.

[B]

But he still looks pretty good.

[A]

He looks. No, he looks good, but he moves like he's 37.

[B]

SGA knew it too. He got him isolated and there were a couple times where Durant was trying to use his tarantula arms to tip at the ball because he didn't want to move his feet quite the same way.

[A]

And hey, this isn't a significant sideswipe, but it's just a mention because every time I see Durant play, I can't help but think of Terry, Uncle Terry saying that he wouldn't be any good.

[B]

No, he didn't.

[A]

No. I thought he loved.

[B]

No, no, no.

[A]

Are you sure?

[B]

Positive.

[A]

Terry, are you sure? Positive like Durant?

[B]

Terry was on Durant from the moment.

[A]

Then who did he love, though? That ended up being a lot of.

[B]

He.

[A]

No there a significant. He was maybe a number two pick overall tall, lanky.

[B]

The guy he didn't know. I'll tell you who Terry. He got. We got in a big argument about this. Ichiro. Oh, Terry didn't like Ichiro. I just slappy fast. Who was the little slappy fast guy?

[A]

He was second round. He was a second pick. Maybe bad knees.

[B]

Greg Odin.

[A]

Greg Odin. That's who Terry loved.

[B]

Yes. He loved Greg Odin.

[A]

Loved Greg. Odin.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I thought, okay, so he liked Durant.

[B]

Yes. Okay, all right.

[A]

My bad.

[B]

Terry said Durant's going to be one of the great scorers. He was on Durant.

[A]

Well, he also said that about like Greg Odin.

[B]

He loved Greg Odin. Yeah, but. And he hated Ichiro.

[A]

Yeah, that's so funny. I don't remember the Ichiro thing.

[B]

I remember watching Ichiro. I'm like, this guy's amazing. This guy's absolutely. Nah, nah, nah, slappy, slappy fast guys. Just a slappy fast guy. That's great. Yeah. But this, you start looking at the evolution of some of these NBA games and the way the game is played out there, man. And then we get to the Michael Jordan stuff. And that's where I want to start in with kind of what's going on. What we saw from the 62 year old, all time great and still currently great brand. I would like to welcome a new sponsor to Dan Bernstein Unfiltered. Because every athlete knows the difference between good enough to sometimes win and game changing. Championship teams don't win by showing up unprepared. And the same applies to your game in the bedroom. Rougiet Ready is the three in one ed treatment that actually prepares you for the moment. Rougiette is designed to prime your brain, boost blood flow and start working in as few as 15 minutes. That's not just showing up, it's winning by a huge margin. It's an ed med that primes the brain because apomorphine boosts arousal at the source. That's your brain and combines active ingredients sildenafil for fast action, Tadalafil for the long game. It's sublingual, which means it absorbs faster, works in as few as 15 minutes. It's way faster than most pills and there's up to a 36 hour active window, so it's ready when you are. And that doesn't just mean in the first quarter. So like an elite athlete, you got to dial in that pregame routine. Nutrition, mental prep, physical readiness. So visit rougiet.com r u g I-E-T.com and get your game plan from a licensed ED doctor. We have a promo code for you at checkout. Make sure you use the promo code DBU at checkout for a special offer. Treatment ships discreetly to your door. Time to get back in the game with Rougiette. That's rugier.com and your code is DBU. You know the one guy in your group chat who hits a five leg parlay week one and then doesn't shut up about it for the rest of the season. Hey, remember that we get the five game parlay? Yeah, that was me. Well, it could be you because my bookie makes it stupid easy to get in on the action. Then you can be the guy annoying everybody. How much fun would that be? College ball, NFL super contest, Survivor pools. It's all the spreads, the player props, the in game lines, everything you could want all under one roof. If you're new to my bookie, we have a code for you. It's DBU for Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered. Any bet you choose, up to $500 is fully covered. Make your play and then if it doesn't hit, you get it right back. Just opt in using the bet back bonus token. There's no better time to jump in, no better place to play. DBU is your code. Use it. Football is back. Sign up, make your deposit and then make some money with my bookie. So a big hullabaloo was made over Michael Jordan being involved. Oh my God. Michael Jordan is going to be a commentator, a contributor, going to be part of the broadcast. So what it turns out is it's.

[A]

Jordan Insights into Excellence.

[B]

Insights to Excellence. It should be into.

[A]

Okay, but it's Insights to Excellence.

[B]

Insights to Excellence.

[A]

It's a cool video open of the.

[B]

Segment and his living Room looks. It's Michael Jordan. Is that his own living room? I think it is.

[A]

I think it is. I think that's the one that. That's the same one that they used for the last dance documentary. I think it looked the same without.

[B]

The tumbler of bourbon.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Or bottle of bourbon. Whatever he was drinking. And so Michael Jordan gets a huge check from NBC. A massive check. I'm picturing like one of those golf tournament winning or lottery winning checks, but.

[A]

Doesn'T mean it, though, financially.

[B]

It should be like a Happy Gilmore kind of thing where he's got it leaning up against the wall behind him during these segments. He really should. Or he should. Or I mean, whatever they pay him. Michael, so how does this work for you to be a part of our broadcast? Well, you can come into my house and ask me how awesome I am. Right.

[A]

I'm not leaving.

[B]

I'm not leaving my house.

[A]

You can come to my house.

[B]

You're gonna come here. Yeah. You can send Mike to Rico here. And then I'm just gonna tell you how awesome I am. And that's really all it was. I don't know what this does or where it's going, but you know Mike. We all know Mike. Mike still thinks he could come back and clobber all these guys. Somewhere in the back of his head, all this humble bragging, all this, well, I'm too old. I don't want to pop my Achilles. All he's in back of his head. You know what he's thinking? He. He's thinking, these guys, these. They're soft. They suck. I couldn't wait. I'd get out there and give him what for.

[A]

Well, if you took a magic pill. So this is. This is Michael with Mike Tirico.

[B]

You let us bring a camera or two to your place here to talk to you about basketball. Why do you want to share what you're thinking about basketball? Let us.

[C]

Pay it forward. You know, I have an obligation to the game of basketball. Not financially. I'm okay. I mean, I think more or less from the. From. From. As a basketball player is to be able to pass on messages of success and dedication to the game of basketball.

[B]

Still love it.

[C]

Love it like you wouldn't believe. I mean, in all honesty, I wish I can take a magic pill.

[A]

Not magic pill.

[C]

The game of basketball today. Because that's. That's who I am. That's that type of competition, that type of competitiveness is what I live for. And I miss it. I miss that aspect of playing the game of basketball. Being able to challenge myself against what people see as great basketball. It's better for me to be sitting here talking to you as opposed to popping my Achilles.

[B]

And I wouldn't kick all your asses, but it's nice to be able to share the things that can still make the game great going forward.

[C]

Thinks why I did this is as professional athletes, we have an obligation to pay it forward. You know, that's. That's part of what, you know, this is all about.

[B]

By letting you in my house.

[C]

Pay it forward.

[A]

All right.

[B]

What? That's the best. Like, well, whatever is going on out there, I'd still clobber all these idiots, so.

[A]

But here's. Here's at the very end, if you.

[B]

Missed anything, thank you for letting us into your home. It's like you've climbed a mountain to speak to the oracle in deli. Michael, what do you have to say? What do I have to say? I'll be all these motherfuckers. That's pretty much that. That's what he does. He's like, it's about paying it forward. It's about me sharing that I beat all these motherfuckers.

[A]

If I took a magic pill, I'd kick all your asses.

[B]

I take a magic pill.

[C]

You know what?

[B]

I might just do it right damn. Now I have a magic pill, and I'm gonna go take it, and I'm gonna get a uniform on, and I'm gonna kick all your asses.

[A]

So get out of my house at the very end.

[B]

Never. Stop being Mike. Stop being Mike.

[A]

He gave us a programming idea if the people at Fox were listening.

[C]

Pass it. Pay it forward.

[A]

Pass it forward. Could be a football segment with Tom Brady and Michael Jordan.

[B]

There it is. Pass it forward.

[A]

So he does pay it forward for NBC.

[B]

I'm passing it, and he could do pass it forward, but that is never stop being there. Pass it, pay it forward. Just this is. It's just the essence. This dude, they paid him. Yeah. Thank you for letting us in your home. Thank you for Michael. Thanks for the massive check. All he's got to do is sit there in his pajamas and say he'd kick everybody's ass.

[A]

Let me see. Where is that? Let me see if I can.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's so good. I was loving it, I'll tell you.

[C]

Challenge myself against what people see as great basketball.

[B]

He was so close. People think they're good. People think these guys are good.

[A]

I'm going to challenge myself to what people think is good basketball.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

What People see as great basketball.

[B]

He just kneecapped their product. You just paid him money.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You just paid him money for him to be like, what could possibly potentially be perceived as good? I don't think it's good basketball. I kill all these dudes.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

It's so good.

[A]

All right, listen. So I knew going into it that he wasn't going to offer anything of any significance or. But listen, if they're going to put Michael Michael Jordan on tv, I'm going to watch it. So they're getting what they want in viewers.

[B]

Hysterical.

[A]

It is hysterical. But it's Michael. I'm going to expect anything different. No, right?

[B]

No. He's a shark. He's a human shark, that's all.

[A]

He's the sharkiest shark of any shark that ever lived.

[B]

All he is, he's an old ass shark that can't quite swim as fast as he used to. But if you ask him, he'll swim.

[A]

Faster than you and eat you.

[B]

Yep. He'd eat you. He'd eat the seal you're trying to eat. He'd go eat your family.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

He'd do all of it. He just, he just can't quite do it anymore.

[A]

Like I knew he wouldn't offer anything of substance. He, he's not going to deliver anything to the NBA.

[B]

But he's doing you a favor.

[A]

But I love.

[B]

That's the best way he's. This is paying it forward. Like he's doing you a favor by saying that these guys suck and he's going to kick everybody's ass.

[A]

Thanks for letting us come into your home.

[B]

Now get out of my fucking house.

[A]

Once it was done.

[B]

Right? Right. Get out of here. Take all this.

[A]

Do even shut. He's changing the golf clothes.

[B]

Exactly. Take these. Get your cords and all your equipment. Get all that. Get this Mike to Rico out of my house again.

[A]

I, I knew, I knew he wouldn't offer anything or deliver anything of substance. But it's still Michael I'm gonna watch.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Every time. Because it's mj.

[B]

Well, did you see what he's talking about next? They teased what he's talking about. Load management. How's that going to go? What do you think he's gonna say? Boy, I wish, I wish they had load management in my day because I'd feel a lot better. My body would feel a lot better now. And I could take some. But he ain't got to say that. You know what he's gonna say? They're all soft, they're weak. I had. I knew what I had to give to the game of basketball by playing every single night.

[A]

Right. I wonder if he'll bring up the food poisoning game.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. I think Scotty Bimbles will be able to fall into his arms again. I'm sick right now. I'm on death's door right now. I shouldn't even. And get out of my house.

[A]

I know, I loved it.

[B]

Can I contrast this with something for.

[A]

The moment, I hope so.

[B]

Can I contrast this with.

[A]

Because this is. This is fucking priceless.

[B]

Oh my God. I want to listen to George Gervin, my man. I want you to hear what Iceman had to say. He was at a practice somewhere and this was on Facebook. There was somebody with a camera.

[A]

You know, it looked like maybe was all star game in Cleveland a couple of years ago. Yeah, I think, I think that's where it was. I think that was the logo on one of the things that we saw.

[B]

Somebody, somebody got George Gervin to comment. He's walking somewhere around at a shoot around or some event and somebody was asking, this is George Iceman Gervin. You want to hear honesty? Led the NBA in scoring multiple times, multiple seasons, hall of Famer, one of the greatest scorers. Who's ever lived.

[A]

Ever lived.

[B]

Who's absolutely played the game.

[A]

So you're Michael Jordan. I ask you, could you play today? Michael.

[B]

What?

[A]

Would you say you're Michael Jordan, could you play today?

[B]

Oh, I just don't want. I could. I just don't want to like if I, if I played it, I. He. You heard it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I would destroy all of these guys. You know he's saying it to you. George Gervin scored 26,591 game points in 14 years.

[A]

Oh, I thought it was one game in 14 years. Okay.

[B]

Okay. So this was contrast Michael Jordan with George Gervin.

[A]

How many points would you average in today's game?

[B]

None.

[C]

Why not?

[B]

Because I couldn't play it. What do you mean? These guys are so much better than them guys.

[A]

What about the finger roll? You still have it today or.

[B]

No, no, my finger roll broke.

[A]

It's broke.

[B]

Cause you know, I had my turn. These guys turn and let them enjoy it like I enjoyed it when I had my turn. Fair enough.

[A]

Last thing, tell me if there was a three point line when you were coming up, you wouldn't be shooting lights out from a three point range.

[B]

I shot a lot of tools. I know my three pointers and one. Okay, first of all, to whoever that 14 year old is interviewing him. Yeah, there were three pointers. He came up in the ABA, they had a three point line. And you know what? He was bad at shooting it.

[A]

Which is why he didn't.

[B]

He was bad at shooting it. That's why he's trying to be humble here. He's like, I. He knew he was bad. And then in 1979, 1980, when the NBA. There were only three years of Gervin's ABA NBA career when they didn't have a three point line.

[A]

Yeah, well, that's right. He was, he was a young.

[B]

He only made 122 threes in his career. He averaged nine three pointers a season. He only made on average in an 82 game season. 9.

[A]

Yet he led the league scoring multiple seasons.

[B]

You don't have to ask him about this stuff. It's all just go to basketball reference with how many points you have.

[A]

None. None.

[B]

Don't have any points.

[A]

So that's an older generation paying it forward to the younger generation.

[B]

That's what paying it forward looks like. Paying it forward isn't, you suck and I kick all your asses. Paying it forward is. I have an immense respect for how the game has evolved and how the game has improved.

[A]

And it's their turn.

[B]

We got seven foot point guards and we've got these preternatural passers who are point setters. Just watch that game in front of you.

[A]

I mean he was like talent out there. I had my turn. It's their turn now. That's what an older generation does to pay it forward.

[B]

That's how you pay it forward. You appreciate that. Was George Gervin actually paying the game of basketball forward?

[A]

What about your finger roll?

[B]

It's broke. It's not its turn anymore.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know what happened to that? Honestly, you know what?

[A]

You get squatted to the seventh row.

[B]

The moment that finger roll leaves his hand, it's in the 300 level.

[A]

Talking about exploding balls.

[B]

Come on. And he knows it. He knows that all these beautiful things that he did when everybody now is playing watch these games, the Jordan stuff, the clinging to the Jordan.

[A]

Like I love Michael. I still.

[B]

Yeah, Old Mike. Old Mike is always going to love Mike. Trip. Old Mike is an absolute trip.

[C]

What people see as great basketball, it's so good.

[B]

He can't compliment anybody.

[A]

He's like, I'm not going to say that. It's good basketball.

[B]

No, he can't bring himself.

[A]

Some of you may look at it and say, that's great basketball.

[B]

I'm not one of them.

[C]

What people See as good, great basketball they're paying him.

[B]

Oh, it's priceless. It's priceless. And the game was great. And oh. Ow, my stomach hurts.

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Oh, it's so good. And the Bulls open tonight. I want to say. Oh, before we get to that, let me also note something I didn't like about the broadcast.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is they created audio deep fake Jim Fagan, the booth announcer, the voiceover Guy for NBA and NBC. He died in 2017. Ooh. And you heard him again.

[A]

So that probably wasn't him last night.

[B]

No. So what happened was NBC Sports got permission from his family to create an audio deep fake of his voice again. Giant check. Yeah. Which is fine. It bothers me.

[A]

Why does it bother you?

[B]

Let people die. And let that be an opportunity for an up and coming booth announcer to do another voiceover. People die. Let them die. Let them die with some dignity.

[A]

Maybe. Maybe just for opening night. Maybe. You think? Maybe so if it's just opening night, I'm kind of cool with it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If it's just opening night, I'm, you.

[B]

Know, because there's like Saturday Night Live. Doesn't. Doesn't. Deep fake Don Pardo.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Like there. There's some iconic voices.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We don't. We don't hear. Like, when thorough Ravenscroft died, they had someone else do Tony the Tiger. Right.

[A]

They didn't kill Tony the Tiger too.

[B]

No. I think Tony's still in the box.

[A]

He is, yeah.

[B]

Right. Yeah.

[A]

And his voice is still there.

[B]

So. Yeah.

[A]

No, if it. If it's just opening night, I'm actually. I think it's kind of cool. That's a cool homage. But if it continues through, I can understand your perspective on it. It's not going to bother. Bother me with it, you know, but that's one of the. One of the benefits of the many benefits. On the flip side of the dangers of AI stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, you know, it's not.

[B]

Right.

[A]

My country guy, Randy Travis, he's lost his voice due to illness, and he has a new song that came out last year. It was through AI and I loved it. I love that I could. I could hear a new Randy Travis song. Now, I know it's not him singing, but I appreciate that. So, again, if it's just. If it's just him doing the opening night because they're back on NBC, I think it's a pretty cool thing. A pretty cool way to honor him. If they do it for the rest of the time, then. Yeah, I could see. I could see your point.

[B]

To it. As the basketball season begins, it should be a reminder that winter is coming. It's been chilly. I actually, I have my actual warm coat. Oh, it's damn cold out. Chili. Get a coat. Coat drive. There's one in the lobby. Do you see that, Tony Medlin?

[A]

I did.

[B]

Got to coat drive.

[A]

And ending, ending cold stuff starts with you, Dan.

[B]

It does. Because if you're cold in your home, that, that's, that's crazy. You can't have that. And that's why you're going to call Russ Armstrong. Because Russ has new windows that he'll make for you locally here in Chicago. Russ Armstrong is Chicago window guys. So when I talk about my experiences with Russ and all of the people that work for Russ who install your windows and come to your house and measure, they're all his people. There's no subcontracted labor. This is like big window where you call someplace and they farm this out to somebody who doesn't know you or they just click a button and it gets sent to any of these subcontracted stuff. This is, this is a guy here in Chicago, Russ Armstrong. And he'll match any price. Don't fall for the buy one, get one free sales gimmicks. It's the best product you can get. Russ has done windows in my home. He is coming to do a lot more windows in my home. The windows are currently being made for me just like he'll make them for you. 847-302-9171. Check out his 5 star reviews at ChicagoNowGuys.com all the Windows have a lifetime guarantee with parts and labor. It doesn't have to be your whole house either. What I did first, the main kitchen, great area, is where we spend like 75% of our time is in this room. So that's the room that we first wanted to make as comfortable as possible. And this goes whether you're trying to keep the heat in, trying to keep the cool air in and all the bad stuff out, you can start there. If you want to do all the windows, do all the windows. Why don't you have Russ come to your house and he can say, if we do this, it's this. We do this, it's this. He'll make suggestions. He's going to treat you the same way he's treated me and everybody to whom I have referred. Russ Armstrong. And I have. So call him. Get new windows. You need them. 847-302-9171. And you can look at all his five star [e-mail] the Bulls start tonight against the Pistons. No. Kobe White. He's out for the near future, a couple of weeks at a minimum because he's got a calf strain, calf tightness, and as we've seen in the NBA, that too easily can turn into an Achilles problem or a catastrophic Achilles problem. And you don't want that. So they're going to take their time with him. Zach Collins had surgery on his wrist. He's out for a while. Patrick Williams already is going to be a game time decision because he's Patrick Williams. And IO Desumu hooked his thumb on Aaron Gordon's jersey. So he's. They say it's fine. The imaging came back clean on that. So it's likely that IO is going to play tonight.

[A]

You know what I immediately thought of was that bat that clung to that net of your buddy.

[B]

I haven't told that story.

[A]

Yeah, Bono, you told it to me.

[B]

I told it to you.

[A]

Yeah. And when we were going over this, I was like, that's the first image that came. You were trying to rescue the bat, which scared the shit out of me.

[B]

Yeah. I was fishing down at DuSable harbor and this my. Some of the salmon guys were out there because it's that time of year.

[A]

They're not like colored salmon. They fish for salmon.

[B]

Fish for salmon and salmon guy. It's. Right. It's different for some. Some fishermen. It's just a different sort of cultural thing.

[A]

You know what's really funny about you is that we can joke about anything anytime, but when it comes to fishing, you're like, I get deadly serious. Serious like any other topic. If I just said Sam, like a salmon colored guy, you would have gone off on a tangent on different things.

[B]

There are salmon colored guys who actually fish for salmon.

[A]

But you're just.

[B]

It's.

[A]

Man, it comes to fishing, though.

[B]

I'm laser focused. I know I am.

[A]

It's funny.

[B]

Sorry. I don't know.

[A]

Don't be sorry. I love. That's one of your things. I love it. It gets you out of your life.

[B]

It's clearly important enough to me to get me fired.

[A]

Right? Yes.

[B]

Yes, I took it. I apparently took it seriously enough. You can say anything you want about.

[A]

My wife or kids, but don't you.

[B]

Talk about my goddamn. Don't you dare question my fishing sportsmanship, you horrible, horrible human being. I'm fired. Well, that worked out well.

[A]

Right? Sorry. Go ahead.

[B]

How'd everything. Everything go good, except I'm fired.

[A]

Except I don't Have a job. How'd the fishing go? Great, but I lost my job.

[B]

Great day fishing today. But I'm fired. Oh, cool, cool, cool. Psycho.

[A]

All right, so you're fishing with the.

[B]

Salmon guys, and I see him looking at his net. You know, the salmon guys have these all big extender nets, you know, these cool things. Because I have a small net and I feel, you know, inadequate, so. And he's looking at it. I see this leaf in this huge leaf, like a sycamore leaf, and they're all looking. And it was a bat. It was a brown bat that had been blown out of the air and was floundering around on the surface, just soaked. So he rescued it, and we didn't know what to do because it has those little toes on the claw on.

[A]

The edge of the wings.

[B]

Right where the wing bends.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it was holding onto the net, so I said, all right. It couldn't fly because it was too wet. So I said, look, let me just try to take it at least off of there because it might be tangled. And I put a plastic bag over my hand.

[A]

And a book on your head?

[B]

And a book on my head, yes. And I grabbed it gently, and the bat turned, like, bared its fangs at me, and. Whoa. Hey.

[A]

It's insane to me that you want to grab it. I wouldn't be able to see.

[B]

I didn't.

[A]

Oh, I know, but I mean, I wouldn't be able.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'm not saying hard.

[B]

No. And I. And then I kind of tried again and did the same thing. Not messing with you.

[A]

Do you. Do you see a bug in your house and then. Are you the guy that tries to release it? Like you?

[B]

No rescue. I've stopped.

[A]

Take it outside.

[B]

I have stopped killing centipedes.

[A]

Okay. Any Is any reason why.

[B]

Because they eat other bugs and centipedes are kind of. I kind of like them.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I just kind of. Centipedes. I leave. Beautiful. And I also. I like spiders.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But no one else in the family likes. I don't want them necessarily in my house. I love spiders outside the house. Yeah. This time where they belong. They're all Charlotte. It's. It's the fall. It's their garden spiders. It's. Remember Charlotte's Web?

[A]

I do. Thank you. Yeah, I remember it.

[B]

Yeah. They're just. And they all. They just finished eating their respective.

[A]

Do you remember books, Matt?

[B]

Yeah, I remember books because they, you know, they've. They've successfully mated and consumed.

[A]

So then they come in your house to die?

[B]

No, they hang out outside and eat mosquitoes.

[A]

Okay, well, that's fine if they're outside, so.

[B]

But anyway, I don't know what happened to the bat. I left before the bat could fly away. It was drying off, so I'm going to find out.

[A]

Well, I have my thoughts about what Ken did, but you disagree with me.

[B]

What do you think he did?

[A]

I stuck the net back in the water.

[B]

Drowned it. No. Okay. No, because everybody was kind of people again.

[A]

I'm very impressed that you went to try to grab the bat with your hand.

[B]

I've saved. I saved a snake, okay. In April that fell into the river and was dying because the river was so cold.

[A]

You ain't right.

[B]

And I. It was a garter snake, and I warmed it up in my hands, and then I brought it over to you.

[A]

Brought it home and it grew, and it's a boa constrictor, and it's like 37ft long.

[B]

I would have put it on a rock in the sun, but it warmed up in my hands and I let it go in the woods.

[A]

Yeah, that's. You're not right.

[B]

So now I have a snake friend. Now, when the time comes and I need a favor, he went back to the snakes, and that snake told the other snakes, hey, all right.

[A]

So you have snakes on your side. Bats and snakes.

[B]

Think about this. Think about this.

[A]

So if the world ever.

[B]

Yes. Okay. I'm in good shape. I'm in good shape with the bats. Except what happened at camp with the tennis racket.

[A]

All right, so bats, snakes and centipedes, You've made peace.

[B]

Oh, no, I did. I saved two bats at camp. That got into the lodge.

[A]

So the issue you have, though, is with humans. That's where the problem comes to lie.

[B]

I'm fine with other species. Yes.

[A]

Yeah, there's a problem. All right. Sorry.

[B]

Anyway, Bulls are starting to see the Bulls.

[A]

And that concludes our Bulls talk.

[B]

They're on there if you want Bulls talk. We're going to do some here.

[A]

Yeah, we will.

[B]

Organizations.

[A]

I'm going to watch games. I won't contribute. I'll be like Michael. I'll be the Michael Jordan of dbu.

[B]

You'll pay it forward?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

To the game of basketball. Yeah. By letting people in your house.

[A]

I'll watch the games and then I'll get all over it. Yes. Michael would have killed all these motherfuckers.

[B]

What do you think, Michael?

[A]

I'll say I'll share in each Bulls game.

[C]

What?

[A]

I think Michael would have scored.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Michael would have scored 42.

[B]

Oh, minimum.

[A]

He had eight rebounds, seven assists, and four steals. That's what I'll contribute. And it would have Michael Jordan of.

[B]

DBU and taking everybody's wife and girlfriend. All that, too.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But if you want Bulls organizations win championships is back at 312Sports. And we're going to be doing that for now weekly. And we're gonna. We gotta get this Apple issue.

[A]

Yeah, so it's an Apple issue. It's not a 312-sports issue. But what I did is I put the OWC podcasts on the DBU page as well.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

So go to the DBU show page. You can find OWC there. OWC has its own YouTube channel as well. So start going there to get the YouTube to see the video. You can get the podcast on Spotify. If you like Apple, look for DBU right now for OWC until we get this all resolved.

[B]

You know what separates the pros from everyone else? They don't ignore injuries. A torn ligament doesn't heal itself and neither does Ed. And 30 million men deal with it. That's every major sports fan combined. And that's where Rougiette comes in. @rougiette.com, r u g I e t ed happens when there's not enough blood flow, and that can be combined with decreased arousal signals from your brain. So it's not necessarily just about age or losing competitive edge. It's just biology. And the good news is it's treatable. So with Rougiet, doctors review every case because not everybody has the same exact issues. It's not one size fits all. It's an online process. There's no awkward pharmacy trips. These medications have FDA approved ingredients and included are unlimited doctor followup because the dose might need adjustment. Pro teams have specialized doctors for every issue, so your health shouldn't be different. Rougiet specializes in ED treatment with doctors who know exactly what they're doing. Visit rougiette.com that's R U G I-E-T.com and use the promo code DBU at checkout for a special offer. It's rougiet.com the promo code is DBU. And then get back in the game with Rug yet. The Bears are traveling this week to Baltimore. And we spent a lot of time on yesterday's program talking about that point spread. That would seem like it was a while ago. It makes it seem like there's a lot of reputation, a lot of sort of branding involved in here. And I feel it, too. I get it. It feels more daunting to go to Baltimore and play the Ravens with Lamar Jackson and Derek Henry and everything. But they just haven't been all that good.

[A]

They haven't been good even with those guys.

[B]

Right. They haven't been. And I do think that there is some expectation of the Bears game for them being a regression of the meat that at the end of the year, if you think, you know how when we talk about the Bears we say you got to get to seven wins somehow or you got to get to eight wins, whatever you think they're going to win. So whatever. And I don't know how much that's been adjusted. We're going to talk about a lot about this on forward progress too throughout the week. But I think there are people looking at where the expectations are under John Harbaugh and where the Ravens should be and say this is likely a win for them. This is a get right game for them. And if you say, well, it doesn't show enough respect for the Bears, maybe not. But if you look at it the other way, if this is a chance for the Bears as a pretty severe.

[A]

Underdog, it was six and a half.

[B]

Yesterday to become five and two. If you and I don't like power rankings, I know they're inevitable and I know that they're in, I should say inescapable because people love to do. People love to rank everything. It's what we do. And for the most part, if you glance at them, people aren't buying the Bears record. People still have them middle, maybe maybe just above or just below but basically smack dab blob central middle. I think a win this week fundamentally changes that. This is the difference between the Bears maybe, you know, raising a few eyebrows or people say, okay, there will be a lot more attention. The narrative changes tremendously. The difference between four and two and five and two off of this win. I don't care how they do it. But you think you know what this would start if, if they win this week. I want you to look see if you can find right now what the the coach of the year odds are. And what I've learned from gamblers is certain bets on teams use coach of the year as a proxy for the team's success because of where a certain team might be in the narrative, in the way the league gets talked about. And, and I think that if the Bears win, you're going to see a huge jump in the odds for Ben Johnson as coach of the year.

[A]

Well, right now Ben Johnson is at the top of the list at plus 700.

[B]

He's at the top of the list now.

[A]

Mike Vrabel plus 850Ben Johnson right now. Liam Cohen plus 1200 Kellen Moore plus 1200 Jim Harbaugh plus 1200 Pete Carroll.

[B]

Plus 1200 okay, well, that surprises me that he's already there. That sort of takes the wind out of. I mean, I thought he was going to jump up. Well, that number is going to get even better. I'll just say it that way then. That I don't know if he'll become odds on, but he will.

[A]

Yeah. And here's the perspective.

[B]

He will emerge as the. The. The favorite of favorites.

[A]

Here's the perspective on it. The Bears have had two good games out of their six in running the football. Two good ones. You've had consistent mediocre play with the exception of the Cowboys game for your quarterback. And the Cowboys secondary and defense has been pretty much bad the entire year. So no one's giving them a whole lot. Even. Even doing what you're expected to do doesn't give you any kind of currency. They had a collapse in the fourth quarter against the Vikings. They got motorboated by the Lions in game two, and then they've gone. And they beat the Raiders, who are bad. They beat the Saints, who are bad. They had a win that was as marred in controversy because the broadcaster shit all over Caleb Williams the whole game. Everyone thought.

[B]

And then he sort of backed off those things on Dallas radio.

[A]

Right. But this wasn't.

[B]

It really was not a big deal.

[A]

No, it was not. This game against the, against the Ravens. Dan, the Ravens are not a bad football team. The Ravens are a good football team with high expectations going into this year, playing back who are playing poorly and dealing with injuries. People are going to look at that and say, all right, this is just a downturn for a really good football team who was supposed to be in contention to win the afc. They're not going to compete for the afc. I don't think they're going to go on some kind of long run. I just don't. But it's going to be a downturn for the Ravens and the Bears. Now the narrative is going to be if the Bears win, they took advantage of a team in a. In a downturn year facing injuries.

[B]

I don't know. But five wins in a row is hard to keep making excuses for at that point.

[A]

What, you don't even know if the Bears are good yet?

[B]

Correct.

[A]

So, yes, that's the narrative. The narrative is going to be they took advantage of a team in a downturn that. Dealing with injuries that's just playing poorly right now. But isn't that team. They're not that bad of a team. That's what the NFL narrative will be.

[B]

Well, I think it's against the backdrop of NFL parody, where if you actually, I mean, all the games that I've seen, every time I think a team is, when I see Jacoby Brissette coming in, throwing for 300 yards and keep in a game against the packers, it's like, what are, you know, what are we watching here? You see the way that every game now is seeming, regardless of what the score is seeming to come down to a final kick or a final blocked kick. It's the best entertainment product going in large part because of. We don't. Because we don't look good.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. And we'll know more today about Lamar Jackson. He. They had a practice Monday. He did not participate.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

So we'll see. Roquan Smith is back, obviously, for the game, but Lamar Jackson, we still don't know. We'll learn more today.

[B]

All right. Should I get to this story now?

[A]

Oh, you know what? Can you hold up for one second? I want to share something with you because you didn't see this about the. The Blue Jays and Ohtani.

[B]

I didn't see this. Yeah.

[A]

I wanted to tell you this real quick. So there was a really an in depth, lengthier interview and piece from. About John Schneider.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And the Toronto Blue Jays and what.

[B]

Almost great, by the way.

[A]

He is great. And what almost happened with them in their courtship of Shohei Ohtani. They made a significant push, even financially, for Ohtani to come to Toronto.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And so this goes back to a couple years ago when they were courting Ohtani and Ohtani. And the Blue Jays will forever be tied to what happened in December of 2023. Some of the heartache and hostility has faded, but Ohtani has stuck to the Blue Jays. John Schneider says, if anything, just tell him we want our Blue Jays hat back that he took with us when he came to our meeting.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

This is. Now. This is. It's just. It's really funny. So they. They put on the full court press down in Florida at their spring training facility. They emptied the entire building because Ohtani didn't want anyone to know that he was there.

[B]

Right. Okay.

[A]

So one of the last stops on the tour was the spring training clubhouse. Inside were lockers set up for Ohtani with jerseys, workout gear, and all of his favorite accessories, right down to the finest details. Surely someone in the organization was tasked with finding out whether Ohtani likes.

[B]

Shirley was tasked with this.

[A]

No, Shirley, somewhere is someone, surely, comma.

[B]

Someone in the organization named Shirley.

[A]

Her name is not Shirley. Stop calling me Shirley. Her name is not Shirley.

[B]

It was Shirley, comma, someone in the organization. I presume she's in the organization.

[A]

That's fine. Shirley who works there was tasked with finding out. See, that's what I'm talking about. You can take anything and turn into a joke. Except for fishing.

[B]

What are you saying about fishing?

[A]

Don't get fired again. Oh, you threaten a vaticola, you just.

[B]

Jump over the camera damage.

[A]

All right, so surely she was. She was tasked with finding out whether he likes pulp in his orange juice, how he takes his coffee, and all of it. Right. Was right there in front of Otani at the lockers. Right. They had his name, everything. Jerseys, workout gear. Then an image, which those involved will never forget. Ohtani packed up the lockers and took the bags with him. He cleared out the lockers and took everything with him. No one had expected this. As he walked back to their suv, they're watching from a window now, watching him.

[B]

What are they gonna do with it? It's got his name on it.

[A]

Watching him leave, but, like, all the other gear didn't. So they're watching from a window as he's walking through the parking lot to go back to this black suv. That chicken there's. They saw one more thing. It was Ohtani's dog decoy running behind him wearing the Canadian dog jacket the Blue Jays had bought for him. So he even even dialed up his puppy.

[B]

Before he left, he saw, oh, I'm putting that on my dog right now.

[A]

Immediately before he walked out of the building. Meeting's done. Leaving the building to go to his car.

[B]

And he first thought, don't leave before you close.

[A]

Jacket the dog.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So he's walking through the parking lot, and the dog's running behind him to catch up with his. With his Blue Jays jacket on.

[B]

Right. Maybe trying to figure out how to run with it on.

[A]

I just love it. I love it. It's such a Great story on MLB.com it's right on their front page.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

Go read it. It's a. It's a lengthier story. It's really, really good stuff about the courtship. And it said that they financially were close to what the Dodgers eventually signed him for. I mean, they put on the full court press to get Ohtani. And John Schneider wants his hat back.

[B]

Damn It. All right. I think I need to email you the story so you can put this picture up. Okay. I hate to do this in the middle of. While we do this. Oh, that's fine. But I'm going to send you this particular story because you got to see what this guy looks like.

[A]

Okay. Here. Email it to you.

[B]

I sent it to you. I sent it to you. This is from WTVO in Rockford, and it's out of Mount Vernon, Illinois.

[A]

Oh, Jesus Christ.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Don't. Wait. I didn't know. Okay.

[A]

That's startling.

[B]

Hold on. An Illinois man was taken into custody after allegedly impersonating rock legend Sammy Hagar at several area businesses, including two banks and a vape shop. Police say Ronnie Putnam, 58, of Summersville entered multiple establishments claiming to be the real Red Rocker and attempted to open accounts under the name Sammy Hagar Enterprises, llc. Witnesses say Putnam even performed a brief a cappella version of Hagar's 1984 hit, I Can't Drive 55, in an effort to prove his identity. He said he was on tour, but he needed to cash a royalty check. A bank teller told police, quote, he was wearing red sunglasses and smelled faintly of margarita mix. So I thought it was actually him. Now, when I read this, I said, this can't be real. But it got picked up by Yahoo. It says Putnam was arrested after presenting a homemade ID card that read, Sammy Hagar, rock God. When asked for comment during his arrest, he reportedly shouted, I can't drive to jail. Authorities say no money was exchanged and no accounts were opened. And there is a picture of Ronnie Putnam.

[A]

I'm going to try to put this up. Let's see if I can do this.

[B]

This. When I read the story, my first instinct was, this can't be real. Because first of all, the guy is. He looks like Sammy Hagar ate David Lee Roth like that. He actually got the job as Van Halen frontman by entirely consuming poor Diamond Dave.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And then I was thinking, too, this guy's 58. The actual.

[A]

Oh, he's 58?

[B]

Yes. That guy's 58. He's only two years older than I am. The. Guess how old the actual Sammy Hagar is.

[A]

How old is he?

[B]

78. Oh, wow. The actual Sammy Hagar is my. Is a little younger than my dad. And here's the other thing. I was thinking Sammy Hagar, probably. Now, if he says, I can't drive 55, it's true. He's driving 48 in a beige Lincoln Town Car. But I'm just. I can't drive 55 because he's going 48 and the turn signal's on the whole time. He's barely looking over the steering wheel. Can you drive 55, please? Please, can you drive 55? Nope. I don't know why he got a Yiddish accent all of a sudden. That would be more David Lee Roth, actually, than Sammy Hagar.

[A]

Hang on. Let me see if I can get this up here.

[B]

I so badly want this to be real. It's gotta be real, right?

[A]

Yeah, 100%. 100% real.

[B]

But the fact that a bank teller said he smelled faintly of margarita mix, there's no way that's where I wanted to call bullshit on it. Maybe we'll find out that this is some elaborate prank and somebody mocked up the. I just. The WTVO website and the photo. It's so good. And something. Something in my detector tells me it's too good to be true, but I really hope it is.

[A]

All right, hang on a second here.

[B]

Keep.

[A]

Keep this going. I'm gonna get this up on the screen, okay? Drive me insane. I gotta get. I gotta get this guy over here.

[B]

Is it driving your nuts?

[A]

It's driving me nuts.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let me see here.

[B]

It's all right. Or we could just maybe. No, I will put it up on the socials. On those. On those socials over by there. By the jewels. By the socials down there in.

[A]

Wayne.

[B]

No, not that, Jules. That's. That's just the one with the horse that has strangles.

[A]

Let's go there.

[B]

He's the. He's the real red rocker. Oh, are we doing this in real time?

[A]

I'm trying to. Yeah. Okay, let's see. All right.

[B]

The moment. If you. You got to see this.

[A]

If I can get it up, man, I'm going to.

[B]

Well, I've got Riet ready for you.

[A]

All right, Wait. Let me see. Downloads.

[B]

Oh, come on, now.

[A]

Where'd it go?

[B]

Oh, don't disappear. Come on, man. Come on. You got. You got to save the patient.

[A]

I'm trying.

[B]

It's all right. No, I don't.

[A]

I'll post it on our.

[B]

Damn it. All right, good try. If you're waiting.

[A]

Oh, it's an invalid, that's why.

[B]

All right, if you're waiting for Sunday to start betting, you're missing half the fun and half the money. College football's already cooking upsets, blowouts. W covers. My bookie lets you hit it all, player, props, game lines, and more. Everything you need before the pros even kick off. By the way, Isaac teslajov was held. Isaac Tesla.

[A]

I'm surprised you didn't shout that sooner.

[B]

Isaac Tesla was held. That's it. And justice for Starbo. When Sunday rolls around, you're already up. My bookie's got it all under one roof. Win big on the NFL super contest and Survivor pools. And if you're new to my bookie, we have a code for you to use. We keep telling you this. Use it. Dbu, Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered. And then any bet you choose up to $500 is fully covered. It just gives you that chance to go for something, make your play. If it doesn't hit, you get it right back because you've opted in using the bet back bonus token. It is my bookie. It is the bet back bonus token that you get with the code. Dbu. My bookies. Where bettors win together because bragging's good, but cashing in is better. Remind everybody that we've got a busy forward progress coming up today with all sorts of Bears sound and Bears things as we're going to be getting you ready for the bear. What?

[A]

Now that I'm.

[B]

I'm done. You were still trying to.

[A]

I was still trying to.

[B]

That's what. Maybe it's not. Maybe it's not real and the whole thing was a bit. And that's why you can't find it.

[A]

No, it's just. It's a different. It's an invalid kind of formula for me to. To be able to put up here. That's all Right.

[B]

Damn. You can't. Like, you don't have the wherewithal to convert it to a different file format.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know. Probably not without bringing some kind of virus onto the computer and like, shutting down all of Hubbard Chicago.

[B]

Yeah, that'd probably be bad. Yeah, Amazon usually takes care of all of that kind of stuff for people when they're unsuspecting. That's gonna do it for us today. Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered. Presented in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein.

[A]

Unfiltered.

[B]

Unfiltered.

[A]

On three. One, two.

[B]

Sports.