NCAA Mid-Major are Mad Big School Won't Play Them. Will That Ever Change?

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered: "NCAA Mid-Majors are Mad Big School Won't Play Them. Will That Ever Change?"

Host: Dan Bernstein (with Dan Zampillo sitting in for Matt Abbatacola)
Date: March 20, 2026
Key Theme:
Exploring the friction between NCAA mid-major basketball programs and power conference schools, focusing on why big schools avoid scheduling games against mid-majors, the economics behind it, and how this shapes the tournament narrative and the sport at large.

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Episode Overview

This lively post-NCAA tournament episode revolves around mid-major schools’ complaints about being ignored by bigger programs, the mechanics and implications of big schools "buying" wins, and the spectacle that emerges as a result. The show meshes sharp sports analysis with signature Chicago sports humor and deep listener feedback.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Dynamic Between Mid-Majors and Power Schools

• Scheduling Issues and the "Jagoff Cinderella" Syndrome

  • Dan notes that every year, mid-major coaches bemoan, “No one will play us.”
  • Some Cinderella teams (e.g., Miami of Ohio) have become insufferable, earning nicknames like “Jagoff Cinderella”—attitude matters for likability.
  • [05:04, Dan Bernstein]:

    “Somebody sent me a note yesterday. Is this the least likable Cinderella ever? He said, I’m calling them jagoff Cinderella. If the actual Cinderella shows up at the ball and the prince is like, ‘God, you’re annoying’…”

• Why Big Schools Don’t Schedule Tough Mid-Majors

  • Economic model: Big schools pay to schedule “easy wins” pre-conference, subsidizing smaller schools’ athletic budgets.
  • If a mid-major becomes too good, big schools stop inviting them—risk is too high for reputation and tournament seeding.
  • [09:28, Dan Bernstein]:

    "College sports is run by the shadow economy... The pre-conference schedule of: here's a check, you show up, we get to beat you...and the Coppin States of the world fund their entire athletic department on these checks."

• The Conference and NIL Shifts

  • Still too early to know the full impact of Name, Image, Likeness (NIL) on this dynamic. It could shift where the "buy" money goes—maybe to athletes instead of women's volleyball, maybe not.
  • The conversation hints at upcoming conference realignments and potentially more revenue-focused maneuvering.

2. The Tournament Spectacle & Why It Matters

• Tournament as Showcase for Styles and Surprises

  • Lack of cross-scheduling means top teams face unusual schemes in March—leading to more upsets and fun.
  • There's value in “styles make fights”: unfamiliar offenses/defenses trip up powerhouse teams.
  • [14:42, Dan Zampillo]:

    “Styles make fights…That’s why Miami of Ohio is interesting…they run a little bit more exotic X and O stuff. That’s what makes the tournament fun.”

• Broadcasting and the Value of Knowledgeable Analysts

  • Praise for Jason Benetti’s last-minute TV heroics; nostalgia for authentic coaching voices and analysis, especially from those with distinctive New York accents.
  • [06:49, Dan Zampillo]:

    “Benetti was supposed to be doing Westwood One radio. And they're like, of course he can do TV because he can do anything…he stepped in brilliantly.”

• Changing Nature of College Basketball

  • Roster turnover (NBA draft, transfers) means constant unfamiliarity, even for die-hard fans—a recurring refrain: "Who are these guys again?"

3. Listener Feedback & Cultural Observations

• Deep Dives into Sports Culture

  • Listeners weigh in on topics including:
    • Baseball’s culture wars (fun vs. tradition)
    • Over-the-top patriotism and military pageantry in U.S. sports broadcasts
    • The difference in vibe between U.S. national teams and those from other countries
    • The WBC and resistance to celebratory energy (see Steven’s email [18:58])
    • The unique villainy of this year’s Miami of Ohio squad

• Notable Quotes:

  • On Big Schools Scheduling:

    “He’s arguing against himself…when he says, ‘Yeah, schedule us so we can come beat you.’ No, thank you.”
    — Dan Zampillo [13:20]

  • On Tradition vs. Change in Sports:

    “That’s not reverence for the game. That’s a temper tantrum because the game didn’t ask for permission to move on.”
    — Listener Steven’s email [18:50]

• Funny Detours:

  • A lengthy and hilarious aside about “Exploding Taint Syndrome” and pharma ads [20:40–24:00], full of Ridley Scott/Alien references.
  • Oliver Platt/Chicago acting nostalgia.
  • Fat Hoopers appreciation (THT vs. Yabusele).
  • The enduring presence of military and “fake jingoism” in sports broadcasts.

4. The Top Ten List: Favorite Bad Chicago Bears

• [46:30 onwards] Dan presents a personal, tongue-in-cheek countdown of “favorite bad Bears”—players who were either lovable, quirky, or legendary for something other than their gridiron skill.

  • Criteria: Must have actually been bad players, but memorable for personality or impact.
  • [Highlights, Paraphrased]:
    • Honorable Mentions: Mitch Trubisky, Andrew Billings, Cap Boso, Henry Burris, etc.
    • Top Ten includes: Jack Concannon, Dave Williams, Willie Young (for his fishing-themed sack dances), Jim Harbaugh (“completely crackers”), Henry Wachter (“The Wachter factor”), Steve Fuller (“not here just if the feathers ruffle”), Dan Jiggetts, and #1: William “Refrigerator” Perry (“He just wasn’t very good…but he’s everyone’s favorite bad Bear.”)

• Quote:

  “I think this is a definitive right answer…In the history of football, the history of the world, we all have the same favorite bad Bear, whether we admit it or not. William Refrigerator Perry.”
  — Dan Bernstein [66:12]

5. DBU (Dan Bernstein Unfiltered) Picks

• Personal picks for tournament games:
  • Tennessee -11.5 vs. Miami of Ohio: “I want them to kick Miami of Ohio’s teeth in. It may not happen. The douchebag Cinderella story may continue. But if they're gonna roll, I want Tennessee to put a stop to this.” [67:10]
  • St. Louis +12.5 vs. Michigan: "They can defend, they guard, they play super hard... Dusty May might actually not mind if they get a test." [68:00]

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Is this the least likable Cinderella ever?...calling them jagoff Cinderella.” — Dan Bernstein [05:04]
• “College sports is run by the shadow economy...here’s a check, you show up, we get to beat you.” — Dan Bernstein [09:28]
• “Styles make fights. That’s what makes the tournament fun.” — Dan Zampillo [14:42]
• “That’s not reverence for the game. That’s a temper tantrum because the game didn’t ask for permission to move on.” — Listener Steven’s email, read by Dan [18:50]
• (Ridley Scott/Alien Exploding Taint jokes) [20:40–24:00]
• On High Point’s postgame challenge: “But that's why they won’t. He's arguing against himself because that evidence, when he says ‘yeah, schedule us so we can come beat you.’ No, no thank you.” — Dan Zampillo [13:20]
• “I miss fat guys. I miss fat guys in basketball.” — Dan Bernstein, Fat Hooper appreciation [33:12]
• “William Refrigerator Perry...just wasn’t very good. But we must all agree that he is our favorite bad Chicago Bear.” — Dan Bernstein [66:12]

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Segment Timestamps

• 02:44: Tournament recap and Bulls frustration
• 05:00–13:30: Mid-major complaining and the big school "shadow economy"
• 13:06–14:42: High Point coach's comments, the logic for avoiding strong mid-majors
• 14:42–16:11: Styles make fights; tournament spectacle and unfamiliar matchups
• 18:50: Listener email: Baseball’s shifting culture and John Smoltz criticism
• 20:40–24:00: “Exploding Taint Syndrome” and pharma commercial parody
• 46:30–67:00: Top Ten Bad Bears list: colorful reminiscences and humor
• 67:10–68:40: DBU tournament picks and rationale

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Takeaways

• The episode deftly combines analysis of NCAA structural quirks, economic incentives, and tournament drama with broad humor and deep fan engagement.
• The monopoly of big schools and their scheduling habits create real bitterness—and a unique NCAA tournament spectacle.
• Listener feedback is not only welcomed but central, fostering engagement and cultural criticism (sports patriotism, media broadcasts, baseball, etc.)
• The humor is unfiltered, brash, and firmly grounded in Chicago sensibility, making for an engaging, personality-driven discussion even for those less familiar with the subject matter.

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If you're tuning in for sharp NCAA analysis, old-school Chicago sports talk, and a dose of irreverence—from Exploding Taint Syndrome riffs to why William “Refrigerator” Perry is everyone's favorite lovable bust—this episode is can’t-miss.

Transcript

[Dan Bernstein]

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[Dan Zampillo]

I'm way too tired to cook tonight.

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[Dan Bernstein]

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[Mira Potassan]

Hi, my name is Mira Potassan. I'm an author and I'm an activist. And GoFundMe is my go to platform for fundraising. The first GoFundMe I did was to raise money for a chat book or a collection of poetry and essays and short stories. So we started a GoFundMe and our goal was 7,000. What I've learned is so special about GoFundMe is that it's a whole collection of people offering anything from like $4 to $400. And each time you get a ping that someone donated, even if it is just $4, it's so exciting. So if you have a goal and you get there, you can keep making it bigger and bigger and bigger. We did go past our goal. It was amazing.

[Dan Zampillo]

GoFundMe is the world's number one fundraising platform, trusted by over 200 million people. Still start your GoFundMe today at gofundme.com that's gofundme.com gofundme.com Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered. Unfiltered on 312 sports. It's DBU on three. One, two. And we're brought to you in partnership with my bookie also today by our friends at Chicago, Window Guys and Giordano's Happy Spring. And as you are listening to this, we have crossed over the vernal equinox. It is officially spring. And happy anniversary to my wife Beth and me 27 years today. Let's go. All right.

[Dan Bernstein]

What a miracle. Absolute miracle.

[Dan Zampillo]

Already the editorial comments. He could not help himself. And you say, who's that voice? That is the voice of Dan Zampillo. Who is the. What's your title? Executive producer.

[Dan Bernstein]

Producer. Executive producer.

[Dan Zampillo]

Executive producer of Gamut Podcasting. Who today? Because Matt has begun his vacation today. He is. He is stepping down from his giant throne to live among the commoners today and produce a podcast. So a couple of podcasts, actually.

[Dan Bernstein]

So Water to wine and Beth's Day. Married to you. Miracles. There they are.

[Dan Zampillo]

I know, I know. It's, it's. It's really pretty amazing. So today. Yeah, we're gonna. Thank you. We're gonna have all Friday feedback. Friday it is that as well as the other things. And I've got a rip roaring top 10 list that took me about three hours to put together yesterday because I was, I was, I was racked with, with conflict trying to make some of these decisions. But what a terrific first day of the NCAA tournament. That's about all you ask for there. You got Duke getting threatened down to the wire. You know, I was, I, I stayed up all the way through and I was happy. Il the blowout that allowed me to kind of ease my way up toward bed. That was what. And then, and then the damn Bulls keep fighting. Just take the L, Billy. Bulls take the L. Know that it's being handed to you. You're down 30. You got, you got Adam and Stacy doing a podcast talk show, and then all of a sudden you're climbing back in. It don't know when it's okay to just take an L that you desperately need. At this point.

[Dan Bernstein]

We just needed Jeff, Jeff Gillooly, the entire starting five. You know, was he the one who beat Nancy Kerrigan down or.

[Dan Zampillo]

Yeah, he came out with that.

[Dan Bernstein]

With the little thing. Stop.

[Dan Zampillo]

I don't want anybody hurt. I just want everybody well rested and, and just chill out and understand what we're doing here. I can predict right now. I predict. Say like you mean it. I predict that the. That we will continue to hear mid major coaches in the NCAA repeating this mantra. No one will play us. We couldn't get a game. We're proving ourselves now because we couldn't get a game. No one would play us. I do think there's some merit to that. I know that there mid majors can be varying degrees of, of delight. The continuum from delightful to insufferable. And Miami of Ohio has chosen insufferable. They have just some. Somebody sent me a note yesterday. Is this the, the least likable Cinderella ever? Yeah. He said where I'm calling them jag off Cinderella. That if the, if the actual, like the actual Cinderella shows up at the ball and the prince is like, God, you're annoying, and then leaves with somebody else. That that's what Miami of Ohio has chosen to be. I don't think High Point has chosen to be that. I'm telling you this. This VCU team is tough, man. They're. And they're. Well, that's Phil Martelli's son. I couldn't get over it.

[Dan Bernstein]

I know when I saw him I was like, freaking out.

[Dan Zampillo]

I'm like, gosh, yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

All these sons, like, of course they all come back in coach, but spitting image. And he's like spending five minutes talking about the student, the student athletes who cover the team.

[Dan Zampillo]

It's the sound, too. The accent isn't quite as thick, but it's the speech pattern. It's a lot of what people say about Jason and me when they listen to owc. They say the same thing. They say you have different voices, but the same speech pattern or some of the same tendencies. We come by it honestly, But Phil Martelli Jr. I was like, okay, all right, this guy knows what he's doing.

[Dan Bernstein]

And.

[Dan Zampillo]

And I actually laughed when Brad Underwood, last night, they gave it, they said, so do you like what your team is doing? And he went, But he wasn't.

[Dan Bernstein]

But he wasn't mad or angry.

[Dan Zampillo]

Underwood, he usually is, right?

[Dan Bernstein]

To me, that felt like, that's probably the nicest Brad Underwood you're ever going to get. Like, at home, if his wife is like, it's. If he's like that at dinner, they're probably thrilled. They're like, oh, Dad's in such a good mood. Yeah, that's Dad's good mood.

[Dan Zampillo]

That means. Right? Oh, for him, that's the equivalent of tiptoeing through the tulips.

[Dan Bernstein]

For him, like, having, like a rager party. The best time of your life. That's.

[Dan Zampillo]

Yeah. He's like, not really, but it was a fun day. And you get to hear all of these familiar voices. How about Jason Benetti, by the way, can I just send a shout out? Jason Benetti was not supposed to do TV for these games. He was a last minute substitution because Brian Anderson got sick. Brian Anderson got some kind of respiratory virus and he couldn't talk. And the execs made the decision and Benetti was supposed to be doing Westwood One radio. And they're like, and of course he could do TV because he can do anything. And he happened to be there and to all of a sudden grab him and say, all right now, now you're just doing this. And he says, sure, why not? I'm Jason Benetti. I'm magic. I can do anything. So they're gonna. He stepped in brilliantly. There's just a lot of familiar voices. There's a lot of good analysts out there who. And you know I'm a sucker for any New York accent when it comes to analyzing games. It's just, it puts me in my happy place to hear these. These guys like Spinnacle and And I don't even know Steve Lapis is doing games now. But I just, I like hearing the coachee coaches because this, for me this is coaching coach stuff. It is. If you want to talk about the, the variations of the Princeton offense that Miami of Ohio is running. If you saw what Sienna was trying to do to Duke, trying to turn Boozer into an off the dribble creator early and some of the stuff that Fran McCaffrey was throwing at Brad Underwood, he's like, try this zone, try that zone. What the hell? We know we're going to lose, but we know you're bad at adjusting to things so we're going to throw this at you.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, well, we don't see these teams, right? So we need help, you know, we need that support these teams that we see or teams that we see all the time. It's, it's not as imperative but it's so nice because you're like, that's how I learn what the heck is going on or what the game plan is. Because I don't know, I've never watched, I haven't watched half of these teams.

[Dan Zampillo]

It isn't just that year to year the teams change over completely.

[Dan Bernstein]

True.

[Dan Zampillo]

Because it's all freshmen, they're leaving for the NBA or they transfer to other schools. So it's not like this. Oh yeah, I remember this Tim Duncan at Wake Forest watching him grow up and work his way into the lineup. It just doesn't happen that way. So we're, we're just bombarded. Everything is new every year and I just, it's, it's fascinating to see the relationship between the smaller schools and the larger schools because I think a lot of people don't realize for lack of a better term, college sports is run by the shadow economy of the larger schools. Subsidizing revenue sharing with this with the mid majors by buying wins. This is the shadow economy of revenue generating major college sports. In football and basketball is the pre conference schedule of. Here's a check. We don't have to travel. You show up at our place, we get to beat you. We go into conference play eight. No, in basketball we go into conference play three. And oh in football because we've piled up these wins. We can test our guys, we can get our highlights that, that our video department can use for the rest of the year and all our Heisman campaigns can begin. We can do all this stuff. And the coppin states of the world fund their entire athletic department on these checks that they, they count on this money every Year Montana or whoever it may be, the, any team in low D1 is going to make a lot of money playing against the major conferences knowing they're going to lose. And when a team gets too good, you're just not going to get those opportunities. So those teams will say, hey, you know, you raise your own money, win your own conference tournament. And that creates the bitterness. And that's why you get a lot of these coaches that are talking trash now saying, yeah, you told us we got to win our conference tournament. Well, we did, and now we're going to come kick your ass. So if that makes it fun, great. I do think there needs to be some equitable way around the economy of necessity that that is developed that subsidizes these smaller schools by, by cutting deals that they show up and presume they're going to lose because nobody likes to talk about it because it seems sort of tawdry and. But it's always been that way. It's been that way since I was a college student. And, and you would see these teams, you know, East Carolina would come to Duke and play and, and you know, they, when they had Blue Edwards, then they had an NBA player on their team, Theodore Blue Edwards. But the. You And I started to learn then, like, why, what are all these teams doing here? Why are they coming here? Why is William and Mary here? And then I learned that that was there, there was a lot of money exchanging hands for those opportunities.

[Dan Bernstein]

How has Nil affected this, do you think? Is it made it worse, better?

[Dan Zampillo]

I, I don't know that we've had enough time to figure that out. I think it's gonna, we're gonna have to learn. Let's wait for all of the conferences to finally aggregate themselves as they're supposed to be and then we'll know. Because I do. I still think that there are conferences trying to pick off teams and, and, and pull in some of this guaranteed revenue. I think really it's a revenue question. The bottom line is athletic departments still need all that money, but rather than it funding women's volleyball, you might be funding the check that you're sending your, your basketball and football players. I don't know how their budgets work. I don't know what they're cutting because they have to spend more to facilitate their revenue generating sports. I can't, I can't open the books everywhere, but stick a pin in that and let's look at that when we've got more data about what it's doing. I don't know. I think for every school it's different. And every school's mission is going to be different depending on how much they care about cleaving to Title 9, how much they care about the government enforcing Title 9 and what, what that matters, you know? You know, and where and where the money goes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, I'll say the high point coach was, he was all right after, I mean, the first thing he said, I think in the post game interview, right. Was like, he wasn't even great game. That's why you, you know, you should play us. He was all up in. I think.

[Dan Zampillo]

But that's why they won't. But, but he's arguing, he's arguing against himself because that evidence, when he says, yeah, schedule us so we can come beat you.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, no, thank you.

[Dan Zampillo]

I'm not, we're not screwing with that. You talk about everything that separates the, all of the tiniest things at the end and everything that gets looked at to figure out your seeding. So it's a thorny problem that doesn't have any easy sweeping solution right now. And maybe it's not even worth getting to this level until they tackle some of the bigger issues that people want tackled. And you can have your blue, blue ribbon national commissions that are all dog and pony shows right now, but really it's figuring out the dollars, the economics of who has and who doesn't have and how the have nots are able to both win basketball games and it's exist as viable athletic departments.

[Dan Bernstein]

Do you think it adds to also the. I mean, I think it adds to the spectacle of the tournament in a weird sort of way that they don't play those teams too, because then you get to the tournament and these things happen and it feels like it's that much more accentuated into like what the, what the tournament's supposed to be, right? Upsets and stuff like that.

[Dan Zampillo]

Styles make fights. Styles make fights. I've always thought this. And that's why Miami of Ohio is interesting because they run a little bit more exotic X and O stuff. And this is, this is what I want in some of the broadcasting too. It was like in the early days of, of mma, ufc, the whole point was the video game. The whole point was Karate guy takes on Brazilian jiu jitsu guy, Sumo guy takes on little boxing guy.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Dan Zampillo]

And that's. And now everybody. Now of course, over time there now a best practices. This is the style one uses. There's a homogenization and it's like every swing in baseball looks the same. It's like so many Golf swings. It used to not be like that. People had different golf swings because they came from siloed environments in different areas. Not everything was all homogenized all the time in the world. And now it is. But what's still happening in college basketball is because they don't play, you can run into something exotic, and that's what makes the tournament fun. Oh, we haven't seen that this year. We haven't. We haven't practiced against a 131 or we haven't practiced against a team that runs this little weave and into a five out. And that's where coaches get tested in areas other than recruiting. Re recruiting, spending, and screaming.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, you know what I really dislike is when you make a really good point like that. I'm like, I just don't want that. I got to stop asking you questions. And I make good point. I'm like, I want to argue with you. It just feels like. It just feels like in my bones, that's what I need to do. And I'm like, no, I think it's in a chair.

[Dan Zampillo]

I'm. No, it's. It's the chair.

[Dan Bernstein]

Is it the chair? Anybody in here?

[Dan Zampillo]

It's absolutely something in that chair.

[Dan Bernstein]

Like, okay, you're right.

[Dan Zampillo]

But now that March is here and spring is here, officially with college basketball and full bore, get in on the action with my bookie, because now is the time to do it. When there is all this uncertainty, there is opportunity. Everything matters. Every possession feels enormous. And it isn't just picking your brackets or picking the winners. The prop board at my bookie famously loaded whatever you like. And you know I always give you a prop stuff. Although. Although teaser, not today. When we do the DBU picks, that prop board is fun. Player points, team totals, futures. There's value everywhere, but you got to pay attention. So jump in. Now Everything is at MyBookie AG. One account, one wallet, and anything you want to bet. There's even a casino where you can go play stuff between games. It all lives at MyBookie Ag. And your code, when you register and make your deposit, your code, DBU gets that first bet covered up to 500 bucks. If it doesn't hit, use the bet back bonus token and run it back. So you say, that's not possible. That sounds like free money. All I know is it sounds possible to me. The code, DBU. There's your bet back, bonus token, up to 500 bucks. So don't just watch the madness build. Make it pay. With my bookie. It is Friday, and that means what we do here on DBU on three one, two is Friday Feedback Friday. And I love to save all of your emails throughout the week. I even created a little file for it so I can make sure I can add all these things in as we go for the various topics that we broach. And there was a lot of stuff this week, and I always try to sample this to give an indication of what was touching a nerve. And I want to start with Steve Stephen, who has sent this. And it says, guys, I'm listening to John Smoltz complain about the WBC celebrations and these players from the Latin countries showing so much personality. The thing about baseball right now is that the energy around the game isn't coming from the old gatekeepers anymore. It's coming from players who grew up watching bat flips, from fans in the Dominican and Venezuela who treat every big moment like a national holiday, and from a generation that understands that joy is not the enemy of competition. Watch the WBC for five minutes, and it's obvious the game's electric when the players are allowed to actually look like they're having fun. Which is why John Smoltz's complaints feel less like analysis and more like a guy just standing outside the party yelling, the music's too loud. There's a certain type of former player commentary that isn't really about protecting the game. It's about protecting the version of the game where they were the center of it. And when the culture evolves without them, the reaction isn't curiosity, it's resentment. And instead of asking why fans love this version of baseball, some guys would rather scold it. It's like watching someone insist the world should slow down because they don't like the new raised speed limit. And the truth is, the WBC shows baseball at its most alive, loud, proud, emotional and global. The dugouts look like celebrations instead of waiting rooms. And when someone responds to that with irrit instead of curiosity, that's not reverence for the game. That's a temper tantrum because the game didn't ask for permission to move on. I loved that email from Steven. Thank you. Love that pigeon. Nick writes. He says, guys, last week's conversation regarding exploding taint syndrome left me with some questions. And yes, this. This comes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Me too, by the way. Me too. I'm on board.

[Dan Zampillo]

Please, questions. Okay? You have to listen. Because everything now, when we watch sports, we watch television. The ads are either big pharma or pretend. Big pharma.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Dan Zampillo]

Everything. Everything now. And when you listen to the ads for Jardians, they say this is a miracle drug. You need this drug. However, your taint may explode. And I'm not, I'm. I'm not kidding. So this needs a little bit of background here because I'm feeling, I'm feeling with, with, with Zampillo here. I got to share a little bit of background because I, and I did make this very clear that that's some scary shit, man. If they say you need this drug, but there is going to be swelling between the anus and genitals that could be fatal. Like, okay, so I did like the record scratch, like fail.

[Dan Bernstein]

Like what happens, right?

[Dan Zampillo]

Like that's horrible. Like fatal taint swelling. Like how fast? Like 30 seconds. Like up. There we go.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm dead.

[Dan Zampillo]

Or is it like. Or is it something where. Ow, this itches. I better go to the er. So every time I've brought this up to the various doctors around me in my life, like haha, Exploding Taint Syndrome. Every one of us like, oh no, that's very serious. You don't, don't joke about that. Like, what do you mean don't joke about that? I mean like you're telling me to

[Dan Bernstein]

be true at the same time, right? Like it's very serious and it's hilarious.

[Dan Zampillo]

You can't tell me, of all people, I can't joke about exploding Taint syndrome. So here's what Nick says. He says, I have questions. Not about the condition itself, which is pretty self explanatory, but rather why doctors universally treat this as the Voldemort of medical ailments. For all the horrific sights and sounds and smells they deal with, this is where they draw the line on jokes. One must imagine what led to such taboo. My first thought was a catastrophic flurry of exploding taints that plagued a generation of med students in the early 2000s. He says I'm imagining the beach storming scene in Saving Private Ryan. Except taint missiles and Gooch mortars taking out our best and brightest. I don't know, Nick. I don't know my imagery.

[Dan Bernstein]

Like, I think what I need is a Ridley Scott remake of Alien where the alien comes out of the taint. Like the taint exploding Alien situation. Now you gotta update it for the times.

[Dan Zampillo]

Yeah, and that would actually make the facehugger attack worse.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes.

[Dan Zampillo]

It's one thing if it comes out of John Hurt's stomach in the middle of breakfast, you know, of course that could happen. Big deal. You know, that's just breakfast. But. But it'd be worse. Like I don't Know what the hell this is, guys? Whoa. Like, get that off my face. No, thank you. Oh, no way. It wouldn't be the face if it's already out. The face hugger comes out of the egg. I got this back where the face hugger comes out of the egg. Once it's already exploding, then it's going to grow really fast and shed its skin and then it's going to just, like, eat you with the pistoning inner jaws.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, yeah. Do you, like, shoot up when the alien comes out of your taint? Like you're sitting on.

[Dan Zampillo]

I don't know. Right. Then it just sort of casts.

[Dan Bernstein]

Let's send this to Ridley.

[Dan Zampillo]

He's got some stuff.

[Dan Bernstein]

He can workshop it for the next few days.

[Dan Zampillo]

Absolutely. We will take this under advisement. Our friend Robert in Naperville has emailed. And if you remember, Robert in Naperville, this was the guy that sent that incredible review of the Taco Bell Baja Blast Mountain Dew pie that he decided for all of our benefit that he was going to eat and review. So what he's done here. Similarly, after we spent all this time talking about the Oscars and the nominated films, he said that I've just finished screening all 10 nominees. And he said, using my proprietary analytics methodology, rated on a 1 to 10 scale. Here are the results, and he ranks them in order. So real quick, from Robert in Naperville. Number 10, the secret agent. Not bad. A bit long, understated. Number nine, sentimental value. He said, good. Several opportunities to really go there and kind of didn't. Acting's real solid. He said, sinners. As much as I love his filmmaking, this was a year where Quentin Tarantino needed to be humbled. And what better way to do that than to deconstruct and reconstruct from Dusk Till dawn into a movie? And that is actually about something. Number seven, he says, is begonia. Big fan. About 98% of this. Just thought the ending undercut a lot of what we were being fed throughout the first two acts. Number six, Hamnet said, now we're talking required viewing for any Shakespeare nerd. Number five, Frankenstein will never get tired of seeing Guillermo del Toro in his element. Element. Everything you want. Gnarly, murky and sad. Best adaptation of the source material since the Karloff joint. And I believe it was. I believe it was referred to as. As the Karloff joint. What was the name of the director in that whale? What was the last Roger Whale? Look it up. Say. But the original Frankenstein, John Whale. I know his last name was W H A L. Is this the person

[Dan Bernstein]

who did the first one?

[Dan Zampillo]

The director. The director of the Karloff Frankenstein? Because I. James Whale. That's his name. It's James Whale. Because I remember because Mel Brooks talked a lot about needing to have the. To do everything James Whale did for Young Frankenstein to make it work. So that was the guy. Thank you. Number four, train Dreams. He said it's the best looking film out of every nominee. He said it's one thing to have a movie where every frame is a desktop background, but for the thematics to mirror the profundity of the imagery with zero eye rolls. He said, nobody show this to Terrence Malick. Number three, F1. He said, Believe the hype from Matty here, Dan. It's the top gun maverick of the nominees. He said, it's not as good as that flick. Playing to the mass is done right fun, not dumb, in some incredible camera work. Number two. And I disagree with him on this, but I haven't seen them all. He says one battle after another. He said, this movie's the tits man. He's just so freakishly prescient. And he just said, the. The wily Coyote stubbornness that Sean Penn uses will never cease to shred my insides with laughter. And he said, number one, Marty Supreme. Best sports movie to come out in the past decade and a half. That's not actually about sports. I think that's whiplash. But he says it is a rippling frenzy of tension and anxiety wrapped up. And what may be the best performance of Timothy Chalamet's career. Okay, I. All I will say is, Robert, I believe you, but I don't need a rippling frenzy of tension and anxiety. I actually take medication to avoid that.

[Dan Bernstein]

I was gonna say that's like your middle name. All of that is your middle name.

[Dan Zampillo]

Right? And now that I've actually been diagnosed officially and am every day working against those forces, I'm gonna let this one breathe a little bit. There's something about some of these movies where I just. It's why I didn't watch the Bear.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah. That give me a lot of anxiety.

[Dan Zampillo]

I watch. I know. It really did. I watched.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, it did for me.

[Dan Zampillo]

I watched one episode of the Bear because my. The rest of my family just loved it. And, dad, this show's awesome. It shows awesome and it has people I like. And there's Oliver Platt, and I love everything Oliver Platt does. He's one of those. I could watch Oliver Platt, you know, sit here and read. I don't. I don't know Why? I just love flatliners.

[Dan Bernstein]

All time Oliver Platt, way back in the day, he's for Sutherland, Julia Roberts.

[Dan Zampillo]

You know, I've never seen that. I just, I want Oliver Platt to get off of the GLP1 and, and do the JB Pritzker biopic.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, for sure. Those two.

[Dan Zampillo]

That's what I'm, that's what I'm waiting on. Because he could do the sense of humor, he could do all of that. But. So I'm probably not going to see Marty supreme anytime soon. But as always, Robert, we appreciate the well considered and well written feedback that we get from you. And let's be honest, right now in the tournament, the games are getting really interesting and that's what makes this time of year so good. What shouldn't be a question for you ever if you are, I don't know, once again today, not feeling well or working from home. I'm click, click, click. Hey folks, I'm WFH today. Anything you need, you know where to find me. Yeah, because you're watching games all day. So you know what else you can do is make sure that your food is taken care of by Giordano's. If you're there watching games at home with friends, whatever it is, you need something that actually delivers. Don't question your game day food. You got the full lineup. Chicago deep dish if you want something loaded. Tavern style pizza, cut into squares. They've got people over. Anybody could just grab on or a thin crust. You can keep it classic. Then you're just, you're getting started. Add in wings, cookies, game day deals. Now you got the spread. You're not scrambling around at halftime. You're not making bad last minute decisions. You don't have to make those late adjustments. It's food showing up the way it's supposed to. These games might be unpredictable. Your setup does not have to be. Order Delivery now at Giordano's.com or visit a Giordano's location near you for pickup and grab the perfect game day spread. Game day deals are happening right now. Giordano's. Your bracket may bust. Your pizza shouldn't. Steve says, longtime listener. Guys, I watch every DBU forward progress and OWC on YouTube. I love them all. You help me get through my day. Thank you, Steve. Stay tuned. By the way, he says, I'm watching the bottom of the ninth. John Smoltz at a home run does absolutely nothing here but a walk or a base hit brings up the tying run. John, if the batter hits a home run, know what else that does that brings up the tying run.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes it does.

[Dan Zampillo]

So yes, thanks thanks for that note. It's sometimes a lot of these on Friday feedback. Friday could also be so John Smoltz wyc but but that is the if that if that is your inspiration to communicate with us more the better. Rodney's mad at me. Dan, I typically agree with a lot of your pro hoops thoughts, but I was listening to OWC and your comp of Gershon Yabuzeli to Taylor Horton Tucker is offensive to just outside of the rotation, NBA bum slayers worldwide. Yabuzeli's game is below the rim. It's clever when he needs to be, I'll give him that. But Taylor Horton Tucker has way more perimeter wiggle, a fairly reliable jump shot just outside of the efficiency level needed to be a reliable NBA contributor. You could put Yabu Sele back in Euroleague tonight and he would not be treating his peers like children on a Fisher Price like tht is Right now he's in Istanbul living his best life while staying uncompromising in his pro hoops fatness. THT is a top tier fat Hooper and put some respect on his name. He attached a photo of Taylon Horton Tucker in his fenerbache uniform flying in for a fat man dunk and he is teabagging his defender. And he also he's got a mouth wide open, arm extended, multicolored basketball in hand and he has got a hairline that is all the way back to his occipital lobe. So this is some serious stuff.

[Dan Bernstein]

I miss the fat guys. I miss fat guys.

[Dan Zampillo]

I know I do too Trailer and

[Dan Bernstein]

like these guys are just gigantic.

[Dan Zampillo]

You can't be anymore. You can't be.

[Dan Bernstein]

You can't be sad.

[Dan Zampillo]

The game's too high paced. It's just impossible now to be running around out there. And I'm Yabu Sell. He's actually been impressive because they have him playing minutes that he's really not equipped to play. It's why he had to take a night off the other day. But he's he tries almost too much for a Bulls team that would be better off with him not trying as hard.

[Dan Bernstein]

But I wish they would just play him and no one else against the other five for the rest of the season. That'd be great. So then guaranteed losses.

[Dan Zampillo]

But I can't tell him not to. I can't. This note comes from Spencer and Spencer says, I've been trying to figure out what is it about our national teams being a vacuum for fun and why the World Baseball Classic exemplifies it so completely. I think I came to the conclusion that U.S. sports did this to themselves. The injection of military recruitment into sports has been going on for a long time, but I imagine and I was only 14 at the time, he says. The entanglement ramped up after 9 11. The country was looking for a reason to feel hopeful and bad. Actors cashed in on a desire for unity by propping up military heroes to make the broadcast more enjoyable and thus more profitable. The presence of the anthem has transformed from a statement of national pride to a ritualistic salute of individuals who serve or have served in the military. So they make it impossible to criticize this message because no one is anti soldier. But the focus shifted from wrapping oneself in the flag to wrapping it around the military. And anything other than that would be seen as anti troops. We saw this play out with Colin Kaepernick. We saw it play out with Black Lives Matter. Our sports at the local and national level are wrought with military associations and and it becomes obvious how strange that is. When we compete on an international scale. I think we can draw the distinction between the soldier and the military, although many can't. It's awkward when other countries can't be expected to pick up on that nuance. Our team's identity presents as a salute to US imperialism, especially when the military is acting at the will of a petty tyrant. So what should be a celebration of shared collective American experience becomes this dour stance of feigned solidarity around a muddled heap of conflicting symbols. It would take a skilled diplomat to actually navigate this. And for skilled diplomats, USA baseball can't do better than Mark DeRosa and John Smoltz Spencer. That's really good. There's. I guess we could. We could change Friday Feedback Friday into I wish I was smart enough to think of some of this stuff. It's not. It's a. It's a different name for it. But a lot of this is you. You take the time to be thoughtful about it and look at it through a different prism. Perhaps Matthew from Chicago. He says you nailed the take on Miami of Ohio. I know you haven't seen him play all year. I have. They have been like this all season long. It epitomizes so much of that institution's long standing culture of entitlement and elitism. I went to the game in Athens against Ohio. At the end of the game the Miami team ran right over the Ohio student section to give them the finger before they even celebrated their undefeated regular Season with each other. Miami of Ohio and this team, they are villains. They are douchey, frat boy, popped collar villains straight out of central casting. Charlie Coles would be ashamed of this basketball squad.

[Dan Bernstein]

Wow.

[Dan Zampillo]

Now let me say this, Matt. Not that I would know anything about an institution with a, how did you say, long standing culture of entitlement and elitism. I, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Dan Bernstein]

You forgot the douchey part. Keep going. I think you're leaving out. Well, keep going.

[Dan Zampillo]

But here's the thing, and I was thinking about this. Duke's worse. And the reason Duke is worse is the Nazis. That Duke has developed a real Nazi problem. And when you talk about Richard Spencer and Stephen Miller. Stephen Miller, like. And there was always an undercurrent of some of that stuff. You know, these, these, these bags that, that went to political science class in a coat and tie. Who. And this is something that, that Cody Decker always told me went to high school in Santa Monica with Stephen Miller, who said that even in high school, Stephen Miller would just throw his garbage on the floor. And people like, what are you doing, man? He's like, well, that's why we have custodians. Like, that's who, that's what he's always been. That's what this guy's always been. And Duke was full of that. So I would say that I can't criticize too much about the white privilege, entitlement, elitism and all of that sort of poison that's gotten injected into our national discourse. Because my alma mater's got a lot to apologize for when it comes to some of that stuff and for producing me.

[Dan Bernstein]

I was going to say, let's not leave out that I think you're bearing the lead here a little bit.

[Dan Zampillo]

Just a little bit. No, if you.

[Dan Bernstein]

Come on.

[Dan Zampillo]

I'm not ahead of Stephen Miller. Come on, come on.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, here's the thing. There's a Stephen Miller on the one side and then there's you on the complete opposite side. But both of those things, you know,

[Dan Zampillo]

they came from kind of.

[Dan Bernstein]

There's a lot of people in Chicago who would say maybe it's close.

[Dan Zampillo]

Maybe, maybe if you, if you need a nice person in your life and you happen to need new windows, there's a perfect solution to your problems. And that is when you call Russ Armstrong because he's Chicago window guys and his number is 847-302-9171. And everything I've said about Russ coming to your house, doing the measurements, talking to you about your windows and talk to him about curling. He's super into curling. That's his big passion in life, windows and curling. That's what makes him an interesting person. You know what else makes him interesting? His price match guarantee and the fact that he has his own installation crews. It's not subcontracted labor. So everybody in and around your house works for Russ. I've recommended him to coworkers wherever I've worked. I've recommended him to neighbors and to friends outside of and anybody who said windows. I'm like, oh, you gotta call Russ. Everybody's pleased with how this all ends up because he can explain to you why the buy one, get one free offers and all this stuff are gimmicks. This isn't a gimmick. This is a guy who owns the factory here in Chicago and can work with you on whatever you want, however you want, whatever kind of windows fit your needs. 847-302-9171 and check out all of Russ's five star reviews at Chicago window guys.com calm this is lovey Pittsburgh where there's an old reference and he says that Joe Davis irks me as much as John Smoltz. I understand it's his job to hype up every situation. It frustrates me when he brings in fate or destiny as often as he does to describe a situation. Baseball's played over 162 games. It's not supposed to get magnified in a handful of games when it's such a random sport, Gunner Henderson hits a solo homer And Davis says DeRosa made the right call in starting Henderson. Okay, he went 1 for 4. He hit a home run. You don't know what the other guy would have done. Alex Bregman could have hit two home runs. And it also annoys me when the viewers are told what worked or what didn't when they have no clue I'm tired. When they claim a mound visit was what got the pitcher out of a jam. Pitchers get rocked all the time after a mound visit and they don't say anything. A pitch is described as good or bad after the result. It can still be a great pitch if somebody homers off it. It can be a bad pitch if it strikes someone out. Results based on right or wrong guesses from the batter occurring. And the whole jingoistic USA vibe is putting me off. When they brought the Navy SEAL in to talk to them, they're so desperate, these MAGA frauds, that they have to inject themselves into men's USA Sports and make it anything but fun. They gotta spread this disease on us kids and players in hope of making little Matt Shaws out of them and spreading their agenda. I'm really I was pulling for Venezuela to win it all and he said Paul Skeens can fuck off too. He's too deep in it to get out. He said we're America. We have to assert our dominance over everybody else. That's what we do. It's awful seeing and hearing some of that stuff. It was awful seeing what happened after the USA men's hockey team won and it's been awful seeing what's happened to this baseball team. Said appreciate the read. If you got this far, I needed to rant. Thanks for being voices of common sense. Thanks sir. I get it and I want to close with this. And I saw this name like wow, Jordan and St. Charles. That goes back a long time. First time I've heard of from Jordan in forever. He said, I only found you amidst the proverbial podcast. See recently he said it is so refreshing to return to these kind of sociopathic takes an irredeemable curmudgeonry that would have been right at home during peak B and B. He said I tuned into the WBC because I'm so God damn patriotic. He said I also haven't cringed enough lately and it was impeccable timing. The moment my stream finished buffering, I began buffeting in a stream of Tom Rinaldi's hot air. He says hyperbole is one thing, but actual comps between this bunch of strong and serious sports patriots and the 1980 U.S. men's Olympic Hockey Team or the Dream Team of 1988? 1992? Please. The Miracle on Ice remains perhaps the most inspiring story in American sports. As discussed ad nauseam, the team defied the will of an athletic juggernaut, and Fate herself, maybe most importantly, offered the first moment of exhalation for a panicking, desperate, cold warring world. Not only are today's Freedom Boys safe favorites to win in their far lesser context, some might argue it's our country's behavior drawing parallels with the posturing and isolationism of the 1980s USSR. And don't get me started on the Dream Team. You honestly mean to tell me this collection of animated wallpaper reminds you of Charles Barkley's press conference swagger, Clyde Drexler's windmills behind the back, passes from magic, and enough to make Bobby Knight rise up from hell in his slur spewing chair chucking redassery? This baseball team was absurdly talented. They can't sniff the jocks of any of those basketball. All timers said no amount of Lynyrd Skynyrd, Truck Nuts or flag humping is going to make what he says. This is before the game. He will make tonight's game memorable, let alone worthy of discussion alongside these glorious eras long gone. Mr. Rinaldi and select sports media writ large. Stop trying to inject phony grandiosity in what could just be a pretty cool night. Although it's going to be narrated by our one uncle with the problematic Facebook posts. Thank you. Closing that off with a snide stray for John Smoltz is exactly how I would choose to do stuff like this. So thank you for doing it.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm just feeling really fulfilled. Between Exploding Taints and Truck Nuts, we really covered it all.

[Dan Zampillo]

That's it. I mean, this is.

[Dan Bernstein]

This is forts at its finest.

[Dan Zampillo]

Yeah, honestly, this is.

[Dan Bernstein]

This is it. This is it. I think we're done after this.

[Dan Zampillo]

The full spectrum. You had me at exploding Taints and then you brought it all home to Truck Nuts.

[Dan Bernstein]

Truck Nuts.

[Dan Zampillo]

We haven't done the top 10 list yet, so no worries there. But know also that when the stakes are high, my bookie is where you're going to turn bets into bankroll. You always have a big matchup on the schedule. Certainly right now you got everything you need. And everybody's watching. Everybody's got to take, no matter the sport. The props are just as fun as the final score. And my bookies prop board is deep, loaded up, fun to play, Player performances, game milestones, everything in between. Whatever action you like to keep things interesting all game long. Get in now. One account, one wallet. You like the spread. You like money lines. You like parlays, Live bets. As everything changes once the game starts. It's there. You want to jump into the casino during halftime or between games. It's there. Where is there? MyBookie AG, that's where. With the code DBU. When you register, when you deposit, you then get a bet back bonus token that covers your first bet up to 500 bucks. What that means is if that first bet doesn't hit, you play that bet back bonus token. And then it's like it never happened. The code DBU for Dan Bernstein unfiltered at MyBookie AG. Then you're not just watching all this action, you're making it pay with my bookie. So every week we like to do. Unless it is preempted by something more important. We like to do a list Matty loves list. He's always making lists. And we had talked about the departure of Andrew Billings from the Chicago Bears, and we knew mid season, or maybe before that, that as the Bears got good, Andrew Billings would be on the way out. But I love Andrew Billings and I know he's not good. So then I thought, where would he fit in the pantheon of my favorite bad Chicago Bears? And this got somewhat difficult to do. Let me set up my criteria here. I if somebody was too good, I wrote down a full list, and then I disqualified those who were too good. And I had to go back and look to remember because your mind plays tricks on you, especially your mind as a kid in both directions. And some of this as a kid, some of your favorite players, you look back, you're like, oh, that guy sucked. Why was he my favorite player? I don't know. But I have to be honest about some of those things. I have to be honest about why did I really like these players? And for me, it went from the mid-70s then into covering the team who did I know was bad, who I actually spent time with and liked and enjoyed their company or like the way they played even though they were bad. And then later on, once again, observing from a bit of a distance and getting some of that fandom back. And then the best re energizing force in old guy fandom is then having a kid and kids and watching games through their eyes and having that whole era of unfortunately doing something that people might think borders on child neglect or abuse, and that's raising a Bears fan. But I put the list together. Andrew Billings did not end up making my list. He's an honorable mention. So I'm going to start with my honorable mention. All time bad Bears. For various reasons, I put Mitch Trubisky on this list just because, you know, he always kind of rooted for him. He was very nice, and they put a lot of resources into the project and he just couldn't read a defense. He just never understood what he was doing. Talented, nice enough, and you rooted for him. He was just bad. So he gets an honorable mention. Billings gets honorable mention. I put Vince Evans on the list because he had so much talent and he was always tantalizing you with moments and throws and talent, and he was kind of cool because he was a. He was a good athlete. And I just thought that better things would happen and they never did. I put cool Modi, Maurice Douglas on the list. Does anybody remember Mo Douglas?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes.

[Dan Zampillo]

Defensive back Jerry Curl. And I believe, as legend had it, was an exotic dancer in his spare time. So that made him cool. And having the nickname Cool Modi made him cool. And he was fun and I liked him and he was different and. But he was kind of bad. Tight end Cap Boso.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, Cap.

[Dan Zampillo]

Remember Cap for the jets game alone?

[Dan Bernstein]

That's it.

[Dan Zampillo]

The jets game when. When the Bears had. Because for years we grew up in the 70s, the Bears had artificial turf forever. And then the memory of their. Their switch to natural grass was Cap Boso scoring and taking half the field up in his face mask. And they had. They had to pull this entire acre of land out of his face mask. Cat Boso gets an honorable mention. So does Alonzo Spellman for everything he went through and all. And we probably weren't sensitive enough to his mental illness and we had jokes at his expense that we probably shouldn't have. I understand that now that maybe his issues weren't taken seriously. But when he. When you saw that dude, especially when you saw him with no clothes on, you thought, how does any human being ever stand in the way of this person? It looked like he could destroy anything in his path.

[Dan Bernstein]

Scary. Just scary looking.

[Dan Zampillo]

He looked like he could rip you in half if he wanted to. And he just didn't. He just wasn't good. Also honorable mention for Todd Berger.

[Dan Bernstein]

Just.

[Dan Zampillo]

Do you ever. Todd Burger. Bad, but so bad. But super honest in the locker room and always there to talk to. Always had a thought on something. I didn't pull any punches. My goal, always talk to Big Cat Williams first. And at some point if Todd Berger was around, usually later after he changed, he would. You could always double back and he'd have interesting stuff to say. I put Henry Burris on my list of honorable mention bad Bears just because I've never one of my all time overconfident athletes. All time undeservedly overconfident athletes. Great player in the cfl. And the Bears brought him in and he couldn't play a lick. But he had the audacity at one time during training camp to tell Terry and me that he thought Donovan McNabb had a lot of aspects of his game he has to work on. Okay, Okay, I got you there, Henry. Former Bears lineman Steve Edwards. I put on the list just because. Great dude. Just awesome dude. You would never. Other than the fact that he's a giant human being, you wouldn't think he's a football player. I thought the same of Michael Haynes. If you remember, Michael Haynes was the other draft pick when they drafted Rex Grossman. He was the Other first round pick out of Penn State. And he's like an aspiring herpetologist at the time. And he loved talking about his snakes and lizards and very, very smart. Interesting dude. Just couldn't play.

[Dan Bernstein]

Could have had Terrell Suggs that draft drafted before him.

[Dan Zampillo]

That. Was that the same draft?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep, I remember that. Terrell Suggs went before or after?

[Dan Zampillo]

Yeah, he went after.

[Dan Bernstein]

After Michael Haynes. Yeah, he went right after. He went after him.

[Dan Zampillo]

That's too bad. That's too bad. But I, But I liked Michael Haynes. Lastly, on the honorable mentions, Tyrone Keys. He was on the 84 bears that were in some ways more Fun than the 85 Bears. Tyrone Keys was one of the guys in. One of. One of my favorite sports events I ever, ever attended is with the Bears 17 to 6 win over the Raiders in 1984. One of the most brutal football games ever played. That's the game where Jim McMahon lacerated his kidney. That's the game where Ray Guy was hiding under the bench because they didn't want to come in after. Mark Wilson and David Hum both got traumatic brain injuries and they had to put Mark Wilson back in despite having a traumatic brain injury. It was a brutal, brutal football game. Tyrone Keys was great in that game and I thought he was good and he was bad. Big and bad. And here are the top 10 bad bears of all time. For my personal reasons, number 10 is late 60s, early 70s quarterback Jack Concannon. I never saw Jack Incannon play Bears football, but I know he was bad. And the reason he's on my list is when I was six or seven years old, I caught a pass from him and I didn't know I caught a pass from him. I just remember that my family belonged to a swimming and tennis club in Deerfield right near 294 called Tanaqua. Tanaqua, tennis, swimming, get it? See? Clever. And that's just where we spent our summers a long time ago before, before my dad joined the, the golf club and when we were very. We were little kids, it was better for us. And there.

[Dan Bernstein]

Keep going. You sound so. You sound so relatable. Keep going, you're doing great.

[Dan Zampillo]

There was a. I'm not trying to sound relatable. There was a. There was a big swath of land and there would. There would be pickup football games, sometimes little four on four football games. And there was this old guy who was all time quarterback for a bunch of kids and he said, all right, everybody come over. Everybody just. And it was all these kids and we were playing whatever and we were in our bathing suits and barefoot and running around, and this. This old guy, you know, big old tan guy with gray hair, but in really good shape and could really throw. And it turns out afterward we played, my dad standing over there watching, and we finished the game, and I ran over and I, like, wanted to go to the snack bar and get a cheeseburger. And he's like, you know who that was throwing you the passes? I said, who? He goes, that. That's Jack Concannon. He was the Bears quarterback. So for years, I thought. I thought that was the coolest thing.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that is cool.

[Dan Zampillo]

He just wanted to go through with little kids, too, and just. Just have fun with everybody. And so I. I have. I caught a pass as a little kid from an NFL quarter, a Bears quarterback. And that mattered to me for a long time. Number 10, Dave. Number nine, excuse me, you can call him Davey Williams. Dave Williams ran back the kickoff to beat the Lions on the first play of overtime in 1978, I believe. 78 or 79. Thanksgiving. We're all getting ready to head over for Thanksgiving, and we're watching the Bears game. And Dave Williams, who was a running back, who was also a kick returner, and not that fast and not that good a kick returner, but on that day, he got a lane, he got outside, and he went untouched to win the game for the Bears. And it was meaningful enough that I don't care that he was bad. Number eight, former Bears defensive lineman Willie Young. And people go, oh, yeah, why do I remember Willie Young? Willie Young's sack celebration always had to do with fishing. Remember this? He loved. Loves fishing. He likes it more than. He likes it more than football. And I remember at the time. I remember the time. And he would. His. They were really thought out. And he had different sack dances with different kinds of fishing techniques. I'm not kidding. I'm not. This is.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I remember this.

[Dan Zampillo]

And I. And I knew what he was like. At one point, he clearly was using a bait caster. And I could tell by the way he was holding the reel and reeling in with his right hand that he was doing some sort of light, finesse plastic worm fishing as a celebration. And I asked. I remember asking him about it because another time he did drop shotting. And I could tell the way he was moving. It was a spin setup and he was celebrating a sack with. With. Specifically with reeling in a drop shot rig. And I loved his dedication to the specificity of fishing sack dances. Willie Young is number eight. Number seven is Jim Harbaugh. He just tried so hard all the time and he was so into it and he was completely crackers and still is.

[Dan Bernstein]

There's just something, nothing's changed.

[Dan Zampillo]

Something not right about that dude. And he's all we had. He was the quarterback for a while and that's still when everybody loved the defense and couldn't wait for the offense to get off the field. And it was, I think it was after like the Tom Zach Flutie silliness. And they. It's like, okay, here's the guy. First round pick, Michigan men for life. And. But he was bad. He was. He had a rating of like 72. He had more interceptions than touchdowns. But. And we're going to get to that because there's another guy on this list who was like that, but you just. We didn't care. Number six, Henry fucking Wachter.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah, Henry.

[Dan Zampillo]

Henry Wachter. The Wachter factor. Henry Whack, defensive lineman out of Nebraska on the great Bears teams. He's a Super bowl champion of 1985 and he had a safety in the Super Bowl. He also had a safety that year against the Falcons. And when he got his playing time, that man put points on the board. There was all that. It was a fun name to say. We always do. Our friends, we joked about the Wacketer factor. And I decided to make Henry Wachter my number six all time bad bear. Number five, Bob Avellini. And like I say, there was a time in life where your quarterback was just your quarterback and that's who you had. And you didn't say like, well, we got it, we got to improve the quarterback position. We got to get too important, it's too critical. Got it? No, no, he was just your quarterback. You know, it was, I don't know, it was like, it was like a sibling. It's just who it was. And teams had the guy they had and he sometimes was good and sometimes is bad and mostly eh. But it was a consistent part of the team that was important and he was just always kind of there until Mike Phipps showed up. But Bob Avellini, my first love as the first Bears quarterback I knew, I knew how important quarterback was and you didn't have a choice. And he was the guy. So Bob Avellini, my number five favorite bad Bear, my number. Now it starts getting into some things for some different reasons. Number four is Mike Hoenzee. And Mike Hoenzee in 1987 was a scab bear. And this is, this is. Do not take this as you know you know, I'm, I'm a, A union member of SAG aftra, and I am not doing this in any way to advocate for breaking picket lines. You're a rat. Don't be a rat. But Mike Hoenzee was also the coach of the Chicago Rush when I was doing radio and sometimes television for the Chicago Rush. And I, even when they won the arena bowl, that's my only championship trophy, is the beautiful watch that they gave me, an engraved, beautiful diving watch that I got from the Chicago Rush as a, as a championship gift. And Mike Hoenzee was awesome to me. Awesome. He was great in teaching me the arena game when I asked questions, helping me understand the differences, the nuances, what they're trying to do, how the X's and O's change. And I ended up learning a lot about football, both from him and from Big Cat Williams that has been applicable elsewhere because of what I learned about the arena game. Mike Hoensey, you know, he was also pretty good and also, if you'll ask some of the actual Chicago Bears, too good. But I included him because he wasn't an official Chicago Bear. So Mike Hoenzee, number four. Number three, Steve Fuller. Steve Fuller was not good at football at all, but boy, you needed him. And when he won that playoff game with the throw to Pat Dunsmore in Washington, and in fact, when he said in the super bowl shuffle, I'm not here, just if the feathers ruffle. But yeah, but one of the worst bars of all time. But yeah, you were. That's exactly why you were there. You were there only if we needed you, because you're bad. And thanks for doing everything you did to keep everything going in that direction. But Steve Fuller, thank you for not playing too much. Number two on my all time list of bad Bears, Dan Jiggots. What a sweetheart of a man. What a kind. From the first day I started at the score, was always kind and professional to me. Never said a crossword to me, ever. And those were tumultuous, wild times, the wild west of sports radio. And Dan was one of the first titans of sports radio in Chicago and nationally. He wasn't the big name on that show, but Dan, he remains. And his family is wonderful. His daughters have been immensely successful, and it's no surprise. I just. But he wasn't very good at football. He was.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, he was bad. No, he was. I mean, I love him as a person. I love him as a person, but he was. He was. We love you, Jigs.

[Dan Zampillo]

A sweet, kind, smart and classy guy, Dan Jig. It's my number two all time bad bear. All right, buckle up. And I don't do this. I'm not trolling. But I think this is a definitive right answer. And I think when we all look deep in our hearts, those of us of a certain age and maybe beyond, and I think this goes in the history of football, the history of the world, we all have the same favorite bad bear, whether we admit it or not. William Refrigerator Perry. He just wasn't very good. And I don't have to read his resume. I don't have to tell you that the gap toothed smile and the offensive gimmickry, the fame, the celebrity, all of that was ever. It was all that it meant. It was everything that it was. But he just didn't really do much as a football player. He'd run into a fumble recovery every once in a while. He'd fall on somebody. He'd push people a lot. He was large. He was great at being. He took up space. But with everybody else around him actually, you know, doing things when you're, when you're playing alongside hall of Famer, hall of famer, hall of Famer Hampton Dent McMichael, that's three hall of Famers in the front four. And the happy fat guy who was a. Who did everything asked of him and made himself a big celeb and Ditka helped make him one. But we must all agree that he is our favorite bad Chicago Bear. And that concludes this week's Friday top 10 list. My top 10 and beyond favorite bad Chicago Bears of all time. And this leads us now to our DBU picks. DBU picks are brought to you by, by our friends at my bookie. And I got a couple for you today. And one, they're both probably wrong, but I. I've got to take Tennessee minus the eleven and a half because I want them to kick Miami of Ohio's teeth in. I want them to win by 20 and I want karmic justice to be paid to Miami of Ohio. It may not happen. The. The douchebag Cinderella story may continue. But if they're gonna. If they're gonna roll, I want Tennessee to put a stop to this. And this is the wrong reason to make a bet. I understand that this is wishful betting with one's heart and not one's head. It's everything wrong with making a bet. But damn it, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna take Tennessee and give the 11 and a half. I'm gonna do the opposite with tomorrow. SLU St. Louis against Michigan with cream Abdul Jabbar or SLU Alcindor as they're calling him, Larry Nerd. Every nickname that Robert Avila is getting here. They can defend, they guard, they play super hard and they guard. So I think I'm going to take that 12 and a half point cushion against Michigan, let Michigan have a little bit of a scare say, all right, we got to sweet 16. They tested us a little bit. I think this might be one of those games. And Dusty May might secretly actually maybe not mind it if they do get a test from a more than scrappy St. Louis team. They're legit good because they play defense. So I'm going to take the Billikens and twelve and a half points in that game. And those are DBU picks. Lock in your picks now with my bookie. Bet on anything, anywhere, anytime. And that is DBU for this first day of spring and this Friday. Have a wonderful weekend. We have been brought to you in part by Giordano's and by Chicago Window. Guys, give Russ Armstrong a call. 847-302-9171. And we thank Dan Zampillo for sitting in as our producer and Greek chorus today. And this has been brought to you in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein. Unfiltered Unfiltered on 312 Sports

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