The Most Unbelievable Headline of 2026

Summary

Dan Bernstein Unfiltered — Episode Summary Episode: The Most Unbelievable Headline of 2026
Air Date: July 9, 2026
Host: Dan Bernstein (DB)
Co-Host: Ron Coomer (RC)
Executive Producer: Matt Abbatacola

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into one of the most bizarre and jaw-dropping news stories of the year, mixing trademark Bernstein humor with sharp commentary. While Chicago sports headlines get touched on, the episode’s main focus is the offbeat, viral story of an Indiana man’s extreme—and unexplainable—arson attempt, before the show loops back to sports topics: baseball broadcasting, Cubs centerfielder comps, World Cup talk, and the ongoing quirks of the Chicago sports landscape.

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Main Theme: The Unbelievable Arson Story

Story Recap (01:05–17:00)

• Headline: An Indiana man, Christopher Peden (or Peden), reportedly cut off his own penis with a kitchen knife, doused it in gasoline, set it on fire, and used it for arson in a neighbor’s garage—initially trying to claim he was stabbed before admitting the truth.
• Bernstein’s reaction: Disbelief turning to fascination as he confirms the story’s legitimacy via multiple sources, especially the New York Post (“His arson plan was a bunch of junk…”).

“A firebug in Indiana cut off his own penis, dumped gasoline on it, then used it to light a blaze inside a neighbor's garage, according to police. Okay, let’s stop right there...”
—Dan Bernstein (01:44)

Key Talking Points

• How did this happen?
  Bernstein and Coomer imagine scenarios, speculate on motives (tax frustration, a noisy neighbor, etc.), and riff on the absurdity of the event (“was it used like a torch?”).
• Humorous Tangents:
  • Mock “senior predictions” in yearbooks:

    “They absolutely nailed his senior prediction because he was voted most likely to cut off his penis with a kitchen knife and use it to set somebody’s garage on fire.” (05:34)

  • Made-for-TV movie casting ideas:

    “Jonah Hill... skinny Jonah Hill. He could...” (09:42)

  • Why four lighters? Was newspaper not available for kindling?
• Follow-up:
  • Court records don't specify if the penis was recovered.
  • Peden's background: Is he a Spartans FC goalkeeper? Division III grad? LinkedIn confusion.
• Fort Wayne Oddities:
  • The “Harry Balls” mayor and city center debate:

    “I pronounce my name Balls.” (17:31)

• Memorable moment:
  Imagining what a group counseling session with Peden, Mike Vrabel, and Brian Flores would be like (wiener counseling):

  “He should be with Mike Vrabel at wiener counseling...” (18:30)

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Transition: Sports Broadcasting as “A Hang” (27:20–32:33)

• Soccer Viewing:
  Bernstein prefers Telemundo’s World Cup coverage over Fox:

  “The excitement level is better, and you don’t have the Foxness of it, especially…Alexi Lalas thing where he…appears to be performing…Just a bloviating idiot…” (24:10)

• Baseball Broadcasts:
  Cubs TV and radio are “an easy hang,” while the White Sox TV booth is not.

  • Praise for Boog Sciambi (TV) and JD (“ages like a fine whiskey”).
  • Cubs’ radio team (Pat & Ron) make games enjoyable and informative.
  • Contrasts with the rough “hang” of White Sox TV.

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Chicago Sports: Key Player Discussion

Pete Crow-Armstrong (PCA) Hype (38:04–55:10)

• Comparisons and Broadcast Banter:

  • Cubs broadcasters compared PCA to Willie Mays (Pat Hughes) and Ken Griffey Jr. (Coomer).
  • JD previously compared him to Mickey Mantle.
  • Bernstein adds: “There’s a little young Reggie Jackson in him…All the tools, the bravado, the strut.” (44:08)
  • Discussion of Reggie Jackson’s early career as a centerfielder and misunderstood “hot dog” label.

• Pants Bit — The Hidden Variable:

  • Producer Matt Abbatacola’s groundbreaking research: A strict before/after switch in PCA’s hitting stats coincides with a switch from jogger pants to relaxed-fit pants.
    • In joggers: .227/.272/.293, .565 OPS
    • In relaxed fit: .316/.415/.724, 1.139 OPS
  • Bernstein:

    “I don’t think this is correlative. I think this is causal.” (54:11)

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World Cup Talk (55:10–60:00)

• Quarterfinal Preview:
  • France vs Morocco (Today, 3pm), Spain vs Belgium (upcoming Friday).
  • Saturday showcase: Norway (with Erling Haaland) vs England, plus Argentina vs Switzerland.
• Erling Haaland Praise:
  Bernstein and Coomer’s mutual love for Haaland and anticipation for a Norway-Argentina match-up.
  • “Can’t get enough Haaland content…Did you see the stuff with the cowboy hat and the cowboy boots?” (58:11)
• Uniform Aesthetics:
  • Coomer: “That’s two good uniforms, too.” (59:32)
• Lighter Tangents:
  • Norway flag as home decor/bungalow/“bunghole” joke spins back to the arson story, lighters, and product placement (“Light your dick with a Bic.” 60:44)

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Sports Sidebars

Cubs Radio & TV Team Praise (41:04–42:48)

• Coomer’s evolution as a color analyst (“He’s gotten so good…If you didn’t know that Ron Coomer was a position player, the way he talks about pitching…you’d think it’s reasonable that he pitched or was a catcher.” 42:27)

Mystery and Humor: Unanswered Questions

• Will they get Christopher Peden on the show from prison? (63:22)
• How does using the restroom work post-injury? (“It’s like a sawed-off shotgun…Sprays everywhere.” 63:54)
• The specifics of Pete Crow-Armstrong’s pants and possible family roots with Sam Antonacci.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the arson story:

  “What are you doing today, honey? …I gotta stop at CVS and then I’m gonna go over and cut my penis off and I’m gonna set it on fire in someone else’s garage.” (08:55)

• On the World Cup TV coverage:

  “It just feels more fun, the network. Telemundo has tapped actor Owen Wilson, who is not Latino nor known to speak Spanish, for an ad campaign.” (25:34)

• On PCA’s pants magic:

  “I think this is causal. I think having more room for everything to be in its proper place…has allowed him to be more relaxed at the plate.” (54:11)

• On baseball’s “broadcast hang”:

  “A baseball television broadcast is a hang…With Boog, I think I’m listening to like a crooner talking to you in between songs…” (28:05)

• On Cubs Centerfield Comparisons:

  “Cubs broadcasters compared him to Willie Mays and Ken Griffey Jr.…J.D. almost against his better judgement…some Mickey Mantle in here…And I just want Reggie [Jackson] in the conversation.” (41:11, 44:08)

• On the “unbelievable story” and future guest aspirations:

  “Yeah, this is the number one story. Can we get him on the show? If we can do like, a…like in prison.” (63:22)

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Episode Timestamps (Key Segments)

• 01:05–17:00: The Indiana Arson Story
• 18:30: “Wiener counseling” with Mike Vrabel/Bernstein's counseling group
• 27:20–32:33: Soccer on Telemundo, baseball broadcasts, and TV/radio comparisons
• 38:04–46:00: Cubs centerfielder comps—Willie Mays, Griffey, Mantle, and Young Reggie Jackson
• 52:19–55:10: Pete Crow-Armstrong’s pants: the statistical case for relaxed fit
• 55:10–60:00: World Cup quarterfinals, Erling Haaland, uniform matchups, Norway flag tangent
• 63:22–64:48: Wish list for future show guests (Christopher Peden from prison); unresolved mysteries

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Tone and Takeaways

Unfiltered, irreverent, and brutally honest, this episode epitomizes Bernstein and Coomer’s chemistry. They blend sports analysis with off-topic riffs, sometimes tasteless but always witty, ensuring listeners both laugh and learn. While sports news takes a backseat to a bizarre human interest story, this episode underscores why DBU remains essential for Chicago sports fans—and for anyone who likes their sports talk with a heavy drizzle of dark comedy.

Transcript

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[Dan Bernstein]

Dan

[Ron Coomer]

Bernstein unfiltered unfiltered on 312 Sports

[Dan Bernstein]

DBU on 3. 1, 2. We are brought to you by Chicago window guys. Call 847-302-9171. Don't wait, do this. Call Russ Armstrong and check out his five star [e-mail] and we're brought to you in partnership with my bookie. You know I, I could bury this. I could wait and say, hey, let's do sports, sports, sports, sports, sports. Because sports is so important and we love sports and you got to take care of the talk sports, stop talking hockey people. But I can't do that. I can't, I cannot bury the lead. Because thank you by the way to any and all who have sent this story along. And my first thought was this story is not real. This didn't happen. It didn't happen where they said it happened. But there is enough evidence to realize now there, there is photographic evidence. We have actual legal documents that are in the public record. So apparently this happened in Fort Wayne, Indiana. I'm going to bring you the version as reported by the New York Post because yeah, the New York Post is icky. But when it comes to stories like this, I don't know if it's ever there ever is a headline going to Top Headless Body and Topless bar. But when I saw this headline and this lead, I figured that there is only one publication that is qualified to handle it as appropriately as they did. His arson plan was a bunch of junk. A firebug in Indiana cut off his own penis, dumped gasoline on it, then used it to light A blaze inside a neighbor's garage, according to police. Okay, let's stop right there. The way this is phrased, that he used it to light a blaze inside a neighbor's garage. I have at this point, I have this man wielding it like a torch. Okay, so you, you now that you have allowed my brain to get to work on, on the story. So I have this. We're somewhere in Indiana. I'm picturing perhaps Porter County. Angry about the bears tax. Just can't believe. Wait a second. All of my food and drink and entertainment is now being taxed to, to Bill. I'm angry. Sabers the thing off, dumps just the tip in gasoline, lights it on fire, and then walks around setting his neighbor's garage on fire at various points. So I read on. So I, I, I continue. I, I read on. Christopher Peden. P E D E N it. What's worse? Peden or Peden? Either one's not great. Chris, 36, of Fort Wayne. So it didn't take place in Porter County. This is where we're talking about. The proud metropolis of Fort Wayne, Indiana. The former home of the Fort Wayne Fury allegedly copped to giving himself the shaft after first claiming. After first claiming he was stabbed. According to court documents. Fox 59 in Fort Wayne reported that Peden told cops he harmed himself inside the garage in Fort Wayne by cutting off his penis with a kitchen knife on May 6th. And then it's not a butter knife. Then they show the mug shot.

[Ron Coomer]

And

[Dan Bernstein]

I will say that when I see the mug shot there. This is what I found in my own research. You know how our in, in, like, middle school and in high school, they do senior predictions. Yeah, and I remember mine. I kept mine when they did senior predictions. And yours was.

[Ron Coomer]

What was yours?

[Dan Bernstein]

Mine?

[Ron Coomer]

Likely to be a penis.

[Dan Bernstein]

Mine was. Will be, I think, elected to the U.S. senate.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, yes. Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because they, because they knew that I was just probably talkative and slimy enough. Yeah, that's what they said. But I did. I checked in his yearbook. This Christopher Peden. I'll say they nailed it. They absolutely nailed his senior prediction because he was voted most likely to cut off his penis with a kitchen knife and use it to set somebody's garage on fire. So good job. Good job. Senior class. During the totally nuts kindling plan. Say it with me, Yar. He poured gasoline on his severed genitals and set it on fire on the floor of the garage just inside the door, according to court documents cited by Fox 59. When Pedden later ran into police. Now he didn't call the police. He just also coincidentally ran into the police. He claimed he'd been slashed in the city's downtown area, according to the court documents, of course.

[Ron Coomer]

Or did he, did he tell the police he was slashed in his downtown area?

[Dan Bernstein]

See, but this is, this is the, the infamous dangerous penis slashing disc. You got to stay out of there in Fort Wayne. And believe me, I've. I've spent quality time, if such a thing is possible, in Fort Wayne, Indiana. They got a lot of my money in Fort Wayne, Indiana, because there used to be a collection of nightclubs that were in this sort of one area. And you could. It was almost like. Like this dream state. I remember that you. They were all kind of connected and they were different kinds of bars and you would go to basically this one sort of entertainment district. I think that's also where the infamous penis slashing district is. And you've got to be careful because there's people there with, with various cutting implements. They've got, you know, nail clippers and hedge trimmers and, oh, yeah, bad chainsaws. You don't, you don't know what you're going to run into there because they're always coming after you. As soon as you get out of your car, you gotta. You gotta have your head on a swivel. So he said that that's what happened. That's what he claimed. He was slashed in the city's downtown area, but he soon copped to being dishonest about the stabbing and he told investigators he wanted to be truthful. Investigators collected evidence from the garage, including a red plastic gas container, four lighters, and a kitchen knife. They didn't say the kitchen knife, but they said a kitchen knife. Pen was charged with arson and is due in court next week. Now, I guarantee you the guy is. He's probably emailed us before. There's. There's no question. An avid DBU listener, I'm. I'm sure, but this is. What are you doing today, honey? Oh, not much. What time are you going to be home? I'll probably be home around 6. I'm going to stop at the store. I know you need pasta, so I'm

[Ron Coomer]

going to get that.

[Dan Bernstein]

I think we need coffee creamer. I'll see you then. So what do you do? Yeah, I'm just. I'm going to go. I'm going to run out. I got to stop at CVS and then I'm going to go over and I'm going to cut my penis off and I'm Going to set it on fire in someone else's garage. Okay. See it six. That's a day. I would say. Have yourself a day. Go ahead, enjoy. These are, these are Indiana people. And he looks regretful in his picture.

[Ron Coomer]

His mug shot, you're saying.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah.

[Ron Coomer]

Here, go with me on this for a second. When, when the made for TV movie comes out.

[Dan Bernstein]

Who would play him?

[Ron Coomer]

Go with me on this. He might have put a little bit weight on, but you could, you could do the hair. He has a beard going. Jonah Hill.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, yeah, right.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Skinny Jonah Hill. He could. I don't know that I, he could.

[Ron Coomer]

That.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's, it's the right casting choice, though, for his. Why?

[Ron Coomer]

What do you think he's not a serious enough actor? Doesn't have the chops for it.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know. Is going to take something pretty special because we're going to need a backstory here. This is, this is the end of the movie. This is the end.

[Ron Coomer]

All right. How does, how does Mr. Peden. Peden, what is it? Peden.

[Dan Bernstein]

Peden. I don't, I don't know.

[Ron Coomer]

How does he, how does he get to this? Like, what, what drives him to this? Like, was there a dispute with the neighbor? Is there?

[Dan Bernstein]

No, I, I, I still think it has to do somehow with, with Indiana tax money being used to benefit the bears.

[Ron Coomer]

Maybe, that maybe the neighbor supported it and.

[Dan Bernstein]

Pete, I'll show you. I'll show you. You are going to come home, you're going to open your garage. You're going to. It smells like someone else's burned penis in here. I know that smell anywhere. Oh, well.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sure enough, there it is. Like, did he, did he just leave it? Was it inside a pentagram?

[Commercial Announcer]

I.

[Dan Bernstein]

What?

[Ron Coomer]

I want to know the reason why. Maybe, maybe the neighbor had a band and he practiced in the garage. I'll show. It was always loud and it was always late at night. They always fought about it. He complained. Turn down that damn rock and roll music.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, but the good thing is, is his, his burning desire to be truthful. I was, I was not attacked in the city's downtown area. Nobody came up to me and said, your money or your dongle.

[Ron Coomer]

All right, we're. Wait. We're missing something, though.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yes.

[Ron Coomer]

All right.

[Dan Bernstein]

We could be missing a lot.

[Ron Coomer]

He makes the decision he's going to set the neighbor's garage on fire. Well, no, he says, and he says, wait, I need, I need something to start it.

[Dan Bernstein]

Kindling?

[Ron Coomer]

Yes. What do I have around the house that I could use?

[Dan Bernstein]

You know why? Because Most people have canceled their newspaper subscriptions. Most people. It used, it used to be. What would you do? You go get the newspaper, you crumble it up. There's your kindling. You would always do that, you know.

[Ron Coomer]

Does he live with his mom?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know.

[Ron Coomer]

Okay. If he lives with a parent, I'm gonna say chances are Indiana, where we say in Lake County, Porter County.

[Dan Bernstein]

What did you say? No, Fort Wayne.

[Ron Coomer]

Fort Wayne. Good chances that there's old TV Guides

[Dan Bernstein]

somewhere around the house. National Geographics.

[Ron Coomer]

Yes. He probably could have just gotten inside and taken one of those. But do those glossy? Were they glossy like the national geography was glossy? Those light as well?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, you get like the weird smell from that. Yeah, you don't, you don't want that. But this was. And I'm looking at all the different reporting now. There's more here. This is from some wire service copy. He's facing up to 12 years in prison after being charged with arson. Per the report, Fort Wayne firefighters were dispatched to both a garage fire and reports of a stabbing. Initially, Pen told police he was stabbed and had been threatened the day before. We don't know if that's true. It was the officer at the hospital that he told then that he lied. I don't know what he needed four lighters for. But court. Now here's what's interesting. Court records do not detail whether or not the genitals were located. So they found the gas can, they found the lighters, they found the kitchen knife. He claimed that he poured gasoline on his wiener and set it on fire after he'd cut it off. That's what he claimed. I just. This, this. Now come to think of it, it wouldn't surprise me if he's one of the politicians involved in Indiana's bears effort. I think, I think he might be actually the representative that, that's there at the table. He's. Maybe he's the one who's walking around testing the soil. Maybe, maybe he sort of commandeered the giant soil testing machines and he's.

[Ron Coomer]

Maybe he has some of the out of, out of the box thinking type. Soil testing.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right, right. He's going to really say. And then, and then it's a longer term experiment to see what the effect is on his severed member. Say. Well, yeah, it's not, it's not good. There's way too much human waste and, and slag and pcbs or whatever that is in this soil. So I, I just, I, I could not bury this. This, I think is the story of the year. I want to know more about this man. I want to know more about the reasoning behind it. I would like to know if there is a, if, if there, if, if there's just more facts here because, and then when I did a search for Christopher Peden or Peden, one of the things that comes up is that he is a goalkeeper for Spartans fc. I don't think it's the same guy, is it? I don't think so. And I, there's, there was a kid on Perfect Game who apparently was a high school baseball player, but that was an Alpharetta, Georgia. I don't think it's the same guy, but we, we need to know. We need to find out. There is a LinkedIn page for, there is a LinkedIn page for Christopher Peden in Fort Wayne, Indiana. And it's, it says that he's a researcher at Plastic Executive Recruiters and has a bachelor's degree from esteemed Division 3 University, Depauw University. I don't know, I think I, I, I would like to know in what he majored perhaps, but that's a, that's a rough day for that man. And we had, he, we had three, one two sports and at Dan Bernstein unfiltered, wish him nothing but the best. But, but, but, but, man, I, I first thought, this isn't real. This is something that somebody sent me and, and it's not real. And then other people sent it and I said, okay, there's got to be something to this. And then I checked and indeed, and correct me if I'm wrong, isn't Fort Wayne the location of the Harry Balls Center?

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, I think you're right.

[Dan Bernstein]

Do you remember that?

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, I do. Yeah. I think, I think you're, I think you're right on that. Right.

[Dan Bernstein]

I'm remember. Do you remember the American politician Harry Balls? He was mayor of Fort Wayne, was he not? Yes, he was. I, I, There it is. Harry William Balls was an American politician, a member of the Republican Party. He was the mayor of Fort Wayne from 1934 to 1947 and from 1951 until his death in 1954. All right, Fort Wayne newscaster Bob Chase once mispronounced the mayor's name as Bales. And Balls personally called Chase to correct the pronunciation, saying, son, this is your mayor. I pronounce my name Balls.

[Commercial Announcer]

Balls.

[Dan Bernstein]

Descendants have taken to pronouncing their name Bales, probably.

[Ron Coomer]

That's too bad.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, and you can the, his Fort Wayne officials have shied away from naming streets and Buildings after him. Even though Harry Balls Drive was named in his honor, it extends east from Parnell Avenue. And they proposed into. This is what 2011 they proposed the Harry Balls Government Center.

[Ron Coomer]

Not a requirement for entry, though. It's just the name of the building.

[Dan Bernstein]

The city's deputy mayor, Beth Malloy, said, we realized that while Harry Balls was a respected mayor, not everyone outside of Fort Wayne will know that we wanted to pick something that will reflect our pride in our community beyond the boundaries of Fort Wayne. So they. They announced the building would be named Citizens Square. Aw.

[Ron Coomer]

I like Harry Balls Center.

[Dan Bernstein]

I like the Harry Balls center. And I think at the Harry Balls center, they can commemorate the actions of our. Of. Of Christopher Pete. Now, I do believe that he should be with Mike Vrabel at wiener counseling, because when you're in the room at group, when, when you are introducing yourself and he can say, you know, my name is Mike Vrabel and I have a wandering wiener and, and I. And hi, hi, I can. Then he can speak his truth that I think Christopher Peden can make everybody feel at least you're not that guy. You know, we talk about hitting rock bottom, and that's the time when you have to go to wiener counseling with Mike Vrabel. But I, I think when, once when, when Christopher Beaton stands up and. And gives his testimony, Mike Variable kind of look over, hey, you know, I got. I got my issues, but at least I'm not that guy. At least then. And then in the corner, Brian Flores in his swarming D, you know, he can say, I've got my own issues. That's why we're all here to support each other and be there for each other in these trying times in America. And I know, I know how proud our partners at my bookie are to be following that as we head into the World Cup. Matches that really matter now, because these are the good teams that are left. These aren't the teams with just like, you know, made up narratives about how good they are. They're actually good. And you can spend hours studying these teams and breaking down all the tactics, or you can ask this question, will both teams score? Because sometimes they don't. Sometimes one team has nil. And that's a bet available for you at my bookie. See, they make it simple. They make it easy. There's no injury reports, no xg, no pretending. You watch qualifying matches from six different confederations. Just one of the biggest sporting events in the world. And you can be there with my bookie, use promo code dbu. For Dan Bernstein, Unfiltered. You can't forget it because, you know, we. We handle the important stories here during important times. We are here for you. We are here to make sure we have all the facts for you of the things that matter. DBU is your code, and you can claim a deposit bonus and up to $500 in protection on your first bet at my bookie. So you go to MyBookie AG, you register, you deposit promo code DBU. That gets you the goods. And remember, once. Once you know the score of the game, that bet is all gone. You. It is both. Will both teams score, and it is only at my bookie. Speaking of which, I mentioned I have been watching these soccer games. I have. I. I happened to be on Telemundo early on in this tournament, and I've stayed there because I have flipped back and forth early on, and I didn't like the Fox coverage as much. I didn't like the direction the. I didn't like how they would choose to constantly be cutting away to crowd shots at important times in the game. They took breaks during the hydration break when it was more important to see what teams were doing, who was talking to whom. The actual coverage of the football is way better on Telemundo. The excitement level is better, and you don't have the Foxness of it, especially whatever that Alexi Lalas thing is where he appears to be performing like the Stephen Colbert character, like just. Just a bloviating idiot, where. I don't know if it's real. I don't know. They just asked him to do this. I don't know what they're doing. But he's. He's clearly playing a character. It's like a cross between Ron Burgundy and Alex Jones and something else. It's just incredibly off putting. So I went away from that. It's also off pudding, but. And I like pudding. You know, I don't mind every so often a nice big bowl like that they used to have at the KFC when they did the buffet. You ever remember the KFC buffet?

[Ron Coomer]

I run into kfc. I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Platteville. Platteville had the whole buffet.

[Ron Coomer]

Really?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Gizzards. Like livers and gizzards and green beans and. And corn. And then you would go, and they had the chocolate pudding. It was. It was terrific. Loved it. You'd finish off a bit that. That's back when I, like, ate eight and I just, like. I ate like three Thanksgiving meals a day. No matter what it was, I loved it there.

[Ron Coomer]

Do you like tapioca. Sure.

[Dan Bernstein]

Everyone. My mom used to make tapioca pudding and these nice little, like, martini glasses kind of things.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shopify User / Advertiser]

We had a.

[Ron Coomer]

We had a great one the other night. That lake. Colonial Forest, dude.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, not la Colonial down here.

[Ron Coomer]

No, but I mean, okay, they have multiple locations.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, I didn't know. Okay.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. Like, Lake Forest one obviously is very easy for us to get to.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sure.

[Ron Coomer]

Going downtown and dude, we had this tapioca pudding dessert.

[Dan Bernstein]

Unreal. Yeah. Well, people, the kids like it now as they know it as boba in the. In the boba tea drinks. Yeah, that's just tapioca. It's just bigger pearls of it.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. Jackie loves that stuff. The boba milk tea things.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. A lot of people do the same. Same kind of thing. So I did not know that this. The idea of people who don't necessarily don't speak Spanish as a first language have been doing. Have been watching games. And then finally I heard a report on NPR where people were just saying, like, yeah, it's capturing the feeling. It's capturing the excitement. I don't understand what they're saying. And it doesn't matter because it's better that way. I understand every so often I can, you know, my, My. My ear for Spanish has actually gotten a little better from watching some of this. So every once in a while, pick something up. It just sort of soaks in. But I can't keep up with. With how rapid demente Andy Cantor's talking. But Telemundo. This according to Awful. Announcing Telemundo's effort to bring English speakers to the network for its World cup coverage is reportedly causing some tension between Fox, the English language rights holder, and NBCUniversal, which owns Telemundo. In a report outlining media companies interested in securing rights to the 2030 and 2034 World Cups, CNBC reporter Alex Sherman noted that FIFA may choose to package English and Spanish language rights together for one media partner, rather than splitting the rights in two to eliminate some tensions between rival media companies airing the same games. Telemundo, they say, has claimed some unknown population of English speakers who are watching the games via Peacock, which has dampened Fox's potential World cup reach. Well, it's dampened it because people have sampled Fox. They're making a choice. That's what I don't think Fox is realizing. This isn't accidental. It isn't as if they're not finding them. They're choosing Telemundo. I am a perfect example of that. It just feels More fun, the network Telemundo has tapped actor Owen Wilson, who is not Latino nor known to speak Spanish, for an ad campaign. A Telemundo announcer even broke into English during a recent match, thanking non Spanish viewers, non Spanish speaking viewers for turning in. Tuning in. The trend isn't all that surprising. Viewers who consume content solely through streaming, rather than a traditional multi channel package or antenna, can purchase a Peace subscription for 10.99amonth and access every game Fox won 1999 per month. Now, here's where I come in. Because it says outside of price, there seems to be a cohort of English speaking viewers that simply prefer Telemundo's coverage to Fox's. Yeah, yeah, that's what it is. And I don't know if a major media company is going to want to bid for both tied together. I think they're probably going to end up splitting it off. But I've absolutely been enjoying it much more with the Telemundo coverage. They just seem to be, what can I say? It's a vibe. It's a vibe and it's a, it's just a much better vibe it doesn't have. And maybe the jingoism will be gone. Maybe Fox will be okay once they aren't doing all of the flag humping

[Ron Coomer]

when it's just about the football.

[Commercial Announcer]

Right.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. And so that, but I still, I just, Alexi Lalas is just such a turn off. He just, again, it just, it just, you, you see him and you just, you want to leave. It's kind of like it's. I, and I noticed this last night when I was flipping between the Cubs and White Sox and baseball is a hang. A baseball television broadcast is a hang. And the Sox broadcast with, with Schreffin and Stone is just, it's a rough hang. I don't want to hang out with John Schreff. I just, I don't. That's. That's a person you're hanging out with. That's a person in your house, in the room with you. I every time they go to Connor and I'm like, oh yeah, why isn't it just Connor and Steve Stone and then I can hang out with people I like with friends of mine in my house because it's so much nicer. And then you turn on the Cubs game and the one thing they are, is easy on the ears more than. And it's, and you learn about baseball and it's just an easy hanging with Boog and JD and in my, like I say, the, the JD Call is aging with me like a fine whiskey. Like he, he is like a, like a, like a 25 year old single malt scotch at this point. And, and Boog is, is one of his best traits. And Boog knows baseball and he knows how to set up JD he keeps you on the game, but he's also exceptionally easy on the ears. He just sounds great. Sometimes with Boog, I think I'm listening to like a crooner talking to you in between songs, like giving you the backstory. It's like an easy night at a jazz club and the guy's doing jazz standards and then he's telling you little anecdotes about his long history on the road or telling you stories about the people who wrote the song or where he first heard the song song. And you're, you're sipping a drink and you're dressed nice and it just. That that's kind of how it, how it feels or like, I don't know, or like Harry Connick Jr. Or somebody like that sitting by.

[Ron Coomer]

No, I think that's, that's a, that's a, that's a good analogy. Just like between songs, talking about stuff. But then they also. I think this is, this is good too, because I watch enough out of town baseball. They incorporate Taylor McGregor really well.

[Dan Bernstein]

And yeah, it's a really nice.

[Ron Coomer]

But she, but she adds a lot to. It's more than just, oh, hey look, let's go down to the field level and our reporter there, I mean, she adds to the broadcast and your knowledge of what you're watching within the game, which is, I mean, they, they do really good job with that.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep.

[Ron Coomer]

Which is why it's frustrating with the studio stuff. But we'll, we'll leave that for another.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, it doesn't match. It's not up to, it's not up par of the broadcast. It really just. None of it, none of it is. And it's the opposite, I think, when it comes to some of the White Sox games. Although Stoney was cracking me up last night when the, the catcher for the Red Sox took a one hopper right in the old sack of Rooney and they watch the replay and Steve says, like, says when you start playing baseball, you can make a lot of choices about the positions that you play. And the one thing about playing that position is you have to deal with these. And as he's saying, it just, it's a no good. And you know, I think that's sort of become a theme of today's episode of dbu. But I. I have yet to see a catcher who becomes angry enough to respond similar. That's it. I'm cutting it all off and I'm setting it on fire. Oh, to give him a hot foot. Oh, no, no.

[Ron Coomer]

A lot worse than a hot foot.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, he didn't.

[Ron Coomer]

This is.

[Dan Bernstein]

He's taking it to it.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. If they start doing that in the dugout, man, that's going to be a real problem.

[Dan Bernstein]

You can't beat fun at the old ballpark. Let's check out the hijinks going out of the dugout. Here's Jay Johnstone. And look at. Oh, my God. No, no, don't do it.

[Ron Coomer]

You're like, hey, Skip, why were you. Why was your team fighting the dugout? Well, one guy. Another guy's penis on fire.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, it's baseball. You know, those things happen over the course. It's 162 games.

[Ron Coomer]

Took a joke too far.

[Dan Bernstein]

Those things happen over the course of a season. Boy, I can tell you every once in a while. I think it happened to us back in the old. Back in the. In Midland, the old Texas League. We had a couple guys cut their dicks off and set it on fire. You know, baseball's gonna. Baseball and that. That kind of thing just. Just goes on. So did I see this right? That Connor Bedard had shoulder surgery and they won't tell us what the shoulder surgery was?

[Ron Coomer]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. And in hockey, the reporters don't really try to find that stuff out. Is that right? Or do they try.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, they don't. They don't really.

[Shopify User / Advertiser]

Never.

[Ron Coomer]

They never really get detailed with injuries. They always. They never have, though.

[Commercial Announcer]

Body.

[Ron Coomer]

Lower body.

[Dan Bernstein]

It was that.

[Ron Coomer]

It was upper body, lower body.

[Dan Bernstein]

It just sucks. So now Bedard is going to miss the first month of the season? I mean, it's not. I don't really care, but I. What I do care is about wasted potential and about hoping for greatness and not getting greatness. And that's my bottom line with Bedard. He was supposed to be great, great, great, great, generational, whatever you want to say. The same year as Victor Weminyama. And these are two respective players in their sports that are going to change the game. And the Blackhawks, all that losing was for this. And now he hurt his other shoulder, and now he's going to miss a month. And I'm just waiting for the. Call me when the greatness starts. Call me when you cannot take your eyes off. Because I thought that's what we had. I thought it's what we had. You know, watching him rookie year. And seeing him move and seeing the quickness of that shot and the fact that he can release that shot from all sorts of tight angles and in, in the blink of an eye and be able in such a short area to create such force behind it. Not to mention the pinpoint passes he's putting on the skate, blades through people's legs. Uh, let's go, let's go. Let's have that. We're what, three years in now? Come on. And they say, well, you got to get in better line mates. If, if there's greatness here, it doesn't matter who your line mates are, it doesn't matter. He'll bounce off somebody's head into the goal.

[Ron Coomer]

I don't.

[Dan Bernstein]

If there's greatness here, I just want to see it. That's all that. It's all I ask. Injuries, line mates, all these other reasons, coaching. I just want him to start to be great. And I. The one game I went to last year, the other team, the Sharks had the other guy and I saw it from that guy.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh yeah, that's right.

[Dan Bernstein]

Celebrini, sure. Macklin Celebrini. I saw some of that. I'm like, oh yeah, okay. Young in every play. Can't take your eyes off him, that they're, they're switching up lines to try to match him. Everybody's reacting to where he is all the time and he's still affecting the play. He's still scoring points and, you know, goals and assists and all that like that. I, I get it. No, I don't. Didn't need much for me to get interested in how greatness will do it. A single great player and watching what they do will, will help me to that end. And it should be enough that your team is good because you have a guy like that on it. So the sooner they can make that happen, the happier I am going to be. You know what can make you happy and improve your life greatly? Get real windows in your house instead of the crap that the initial builder put in there or maybe, but an old house and the windows are really old and the. There's all sorts of drafts or they st when they go up or they don't lock properly. You know all the reasons to get new windows, the primary reason is for heating and cooling efficiency purposes. Just to make sure that you're not spending money you don't need to spend to heat and, or cool your home. Well, Chicago window guys can set you up with low emissivity double paned windows. There's special treatment on them to make them reflect all of the inside temperature but back in rather than let it out. And Russ Armstrong of Chicago Window guys explained this to me. And he looked at my windows and he said, come over here, let me show you something about the windows that you have. You see the rust in there and that metal spacer from condensation or this one's got a blown seal and that one, there's what the, the start of what could end up being a crack on the corner of that window crack. And I said, well, I didn't know any of this. Okay, what do we do? And he's like, well, let's get a bunch of new windows. I said, okay. And he said, what kind of windows do you want? I said, russ, I don't know anything about windows because there were all these different brochures. And he was explaining what he can do at his factory. And I said, I just, I trust you. Let's get a number. Let's get some windows. And then I'm just going to leave it to you. And he can do that. Or if you are really interested and you want to go through those brochures and say, I want this window here and this here and this here. And you know your stuff and you've got some big changes you want to make. He can do whatever you want anywhere along that continuum. There's no subcontracted labor. His crews work for him. The same people that installed my windows are going to install yours. Everything's locally made here in Chicago. He will match any price and there is a lifetime guarantee on all parts of Labor. So call him 847-302-9171. Check out his five star reviews at ChicagoNowGuys.com Calm. You mentioned something to me yesterday that you said. Like I said, you. You're in charge of the cubs radio broadcasts here. I know that's how. That your primary way of a lot of the times.

[Ron Coomer]

Yes, I'm, I'm in the car because

[Dan Bernstein]

you're out and around.

[Ron Coomer]

We go on walks with the dogs and I, you know, I listen to the radio. So. Yeah, I, I listen to the radio a lot more than you and Cody for off the iv.

[Dan Bernstein]

So you were, you mentioned something to me that Pat and Ron last night were doing comps for pca, like two home runs last night and every time there's a ball hit the center field, like, ooh, something fun's going to happen.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, it was. Pat started it and he said, you know, Ronnie, you know, I've seen a lot of Baseball players, a lot of center fielders. And there's one guy that, that comes. That comes to mind when I'm, when I see what PCA has and they're about. Is his five tool ability. And so I was curious to see what, you know, Ron, older guy and all the years of baseball, or Pat. I'm sorry, the older guy. All the years of bas that he's watched and he said it. He brought up the name of. Of Willie Mace and Ron Kumar. You know, Pat was like, I'll give you a few minutes to think about who you could compare him to. And Coomer said, well, a guy in my draft class is the first name that came to his mind. And that was Ken Griffey Jr. That

[Dan Bernstein]

was Coomer's draft class.

[Ron Coomer]

That's what he said. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Watershed draft class for me. That's. That's when someone my age was taken first overall and like, oh, oh, oh, I'm now.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, really? Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

What. Yeah. What year was it? Wasn't it 18? So that was, I think, because I think I was also 18. So that would be 80.

[Ron Coomer]

87. Yes.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, June 2nd. 87. Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

How old was Coombe? Because he. He was drafted out of high school, Right. Or did he go to college?

[Ron Coomer]

I think he was a high school guy, wasn't he?

[Dan Bernstein]

I think he might have been. And then he. I. Coom. Was also a Madison Muskie. The year, I think after I left the Madison Muskies, I think, is when he was there.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, he was drafted the 14th round, 354 overall.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh.

[Ron Coomer]

Out of Taft College in California.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's. Okay. So he did.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, he was old. Okay.

[Dan Bernstein]

He was older. And that was Oakland. Right. That took him.

[Ron Coomer]

Correct. Yep.

[Dan Bernstein]

Because he knew a lot of the same guys, guys in that organization, you know, the, the roving instructors that always came through town. So he, he's got stories about some of. Some of those dudes that I spent some time around, but. Yeah. So Griffey was his comp, huh?

[Ron Coomer]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't. I don't necessarily think that's true. I don't. PCA is not as languid. He doesn't. He's not quite as. Is smooth me out.

[Ron Coomer]

Well, you know, so not, not body style or technique, but the, all the. I mean, all. All five tools, you know, because it's. It's rare to find a guy that can play defense like PCA does and the speed and stealing bases and the hitting for average and power. So, I mean, I think that's really more what they were looking for center fielders that could do it all.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, there's more to it, though, but

[Ron Coomer]

to say Willie Mays and Ken Griffey Jr. Well, J.D.

[Dan Bernstein]

this is why this, I find this really interesting because I think it was last year that, that JD Almost against his better judgment, said as if to himself, he goes, boy, we're there. There's. There's some Mickey Mantle in here. Or he, he, he. He made the Mantle comp. Wow. Talking about, you know, young, fast and powerful and just, just tracked everything down out there.

[Ron Coomer]

You know, I, I will say this, too, real quick before I forget. You talk about John Shambi and, and JD on the TV side, if you're a Cubs fan, you are very, very fortunate to have the radio and TV broadcast available to you. Because I'm telling you, dude, with what Ron Coomer has developed into.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, he's. He's really good.

[Ron Coomer]

He's awesome.

[Dan Bernstein]

And you know what?

[Ron Coomer]

He's gotten so good.

[Dan Bernstein]

You know, the thing about Coomer is I had a friend say this to me and I told Kum this that he said, if you didn't know that Ron Coomer was a position player, the way he talks about pitching now, you would think it's reasonable that he pitched

[Ron Coomer]

or was a catcher. Yes, for sure.

[Dan Bernstein]

Like his, his ability to break that down has gone beyond usually what you hear from somebody who comes from the hitting side.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, dude, he is. It just. He's gotten so good at what he does, and the radio is just so good. The TV is so good. So very fortunate in Chicago, if you're a Cubs fan. So sorry. Go ahead on that. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

And it was J.D. who said, Boy, there's, you know, some of this stuff reminds you of Mickey Mantle. I forgot exactly how he phrased it, but he knew that he was treading into some deep water there. He did. No, he said it very guardedly, but the name still got past his lips. And now I don't think we have to apologize for some of these comps. Why shouldn't we do it? And some of it is statistical and we can always find stat comps, but some of it is just more about the. The way he carries himself and, and it seems like at least the way the offense is rolling right now, that he's keying. He's right in the middle of all of this. I had a different thought yesterday. And because of the way this player aged, I think you forget what he was in different incarnations in his career. And this player, when he came up, played a Lot of center field. I think in one of the best years with his team when he was a material player on multiple champions, I think he played at least 100 games in center field early on, around this age.

[Ron Coomer]

Let me check.

[Dan Bernstein]

And yeah, I think there was one regular season, it was either 72 or 73 where he played 90 some games in center field. He ended up moving off of center and playing more of his games in right field as he aged and his body changed and his game changed. But when he was young, he was one of the fastest players in baseball and most athletic players in baseball. He, he could and he still ran okay later in his career, but he was much more of an all or nothing power hitter. And it was famous for striking out before we knew strikeouts weren't bad. He was ahead of his time. People say, well, yeah, but he strikes out a lot. Not realizing that that was just how he made his outs and pca with the confidence, with the bravado, the athleticism, the speed, the power, the inherent excitement of watching him track balls down in patrol center field. I was too young to have seen a lot of it live, but I saw plenty of it later. PCA's got a little young Reggie Jackson in him that. We're talking Oakland Reggie and the, the three Pete. Oakland A's, their primary center fielder for at least one of those teams was indeed Reggie Jackson. And that's with. With the, the, the body language, the confidence and the, the overall bravado, the strut with which he plays.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, no, Dan, you're right. So it was 1977 when he went to the Yankees that he played only right field.

[Dan Bernstein]

That was after he had the, the short. It was a one year stint with the Orioles.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Before he joined the.

[Ron Coomer]

He played center. He played right. Yep. But it was from 67 through 73. 75.

[Dan Bernstein]

75. Okay.

[Ron Coomer]

That he played a lot of center field. Yep, that's both right and center. But yeah, he played center field for the first. Yes. Eight. Eight seasons.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's the guy. I'm comping him to that.

[Ron Coomer]

That is nine seasons.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that really reminds me of just that the, the. All the tools and his, his contact tools. Probably a little bit better. I'd have to go look at some of those numbers. And, and Reggie also had had slumps.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, dude. And his, his third season, his third full season, 1969, he led baseball and strikeouts. But he led baseball and slugging at.608. An OPS of 1018. Yep. OPS plus of 189.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep.

[Ron Coomer]

A robot of 457.

[Dan Bernstein]

Wow.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

And he. But how many steals did he have, just out of curiosity?

[Ron Coomer]

He had stolen bases. He had in that year. 69. He had 13 only.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay.

[Ron Coomer]

But he had a 26 and 70. That was one of his higher ones. Yeah. The second at 28. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

They didn't, they didn't run a lot with those teams because of the slug that those A's teams had. Because you had Joe Rudy and Sal Bando and you had, you know, other people that were providing the gene tennis.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, dude, he. 275, 410, 608 that year. Yep. That's his third year.

[Dan Bernstein]

I just want that name mentioned. I just want it, you know, kept in mind when we are talking about people who are much more known as center fielders that for the first third of his career, that's. That's what Reggie was. And Reggie's demeanor, Reggie's ability to speak and desire to speak was of course, the term was divisive only because he was one of the baseball players that forced a lot of people to tell on themselves and how they responded. And. Oh, he's remember. Oh, he's a hot dog. That's what I used to say. Reggie Jackson, he's a hot dog. Oh, really? Okay. Is he also awesome at baseball? He might be awesome at baseball, but they, but he's a hot dog. And his teammate. Oh God. It was Daryl Knowles, I think who's who be was later a Cub. Daryl Knowles was the one with the famous quote of there ain't enough mustard in the world to cover Reggie Jackson and say, was. Is he a hot dog? Like, was the worst thing you could say about a player at the time. Yeah, we don't, we don't play the game that way. And to their credit, Charlie Finley and those Oakland A's teams did and they leaned into it and Reggie grew the mustache and though. But they and Finley's like, I want everybody on my team to have mustaches because we're the anti Yankees. We don't care. We're. I don't, I don't police facial hair on this team. Go ahead, let your freak flag fly. And. And they all did.

[Commercial Announcer]

And.

[Dan Bernstein]

And they became this because they had mustaches. Oh, scary, scary countercultural post 60s Oakland A's coming to get you with their scary facial hair pitching staff. Remember it was the Vita Blue, Kenny Holtzman, Catfish Hunter, that was your first famous closer. Really modern maybe, arguably kind of a modern closer. And Raleigh Fingers, even though he was getting three inning saves. So, yeah, I just, I want that in the conversation. I want it considered that as we are looking for some of these all time comps, if we can be mentioning Mike Trout, Mickey Mantle and if, if the, the home broadcast is already invoking Willie Mays and Ken Griffey Jr. Put Reggie out there. One of my all time favorite players.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah, Reggie was also. So was that 69. He was a 9.3 war player

[Dan Bernstein]

and played himself in Naked Gun. I must kill the queen. Oh yeah. I must kill the queen.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. What was he in? 68? 68. He was a five two. Yeah. So 69. He was. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Nine three.

[Ron Coomer]

Wow.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. Those. Well that's why you win three consecutive World Series in, in it's 71, 2 and 3 or 2 three and four.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. And, and then what is this is this is what. What year is this for Pete Crow? Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

Interesting. Well that's. We are, we are seeing some pretty special names when it comes to that guy and I think, I think his number one age comp at this point is Roger Maris. If I, when I last checked.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh really?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Which you know, Roger Maris was good but not great. But there are, there is no reason to take anything off the table when it comes to that kid right now.

[Ron Coomer]

As long as he wears the right pants.

[Dan Bernstein]

If you're, if you're just joining us, I think this is worth just a quick revisit are the, the intrepid reporting in research of one Matt Abaticola. We're always complimenting the great baseball minds that lend their information to all of us for use elsewhere and for whether it's Joe Sheehan, Craig Calcatera, the statistical work of somebody like Chris Kamka. Mattabaticola has, is making a bid to join that club with what, with what he is able to show us here. Can you just quickly repeat the numbers that we did this morning on off the Ivy so the Dan Bernstein unfiltered audience can understand the secret of Pete Crowe. Armstrong's magic.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. So Pete Crow started the season wearing jogger pants. And if you don't have kids playing travel baseball these days, there's different types of pants you could wear. The ones that go to the knees, there's. The more, the tighter fit around the ankle, they're a little shorter. They call those jogger pants. And then the longer that go over the top of the shoe, the relaxed fit pants. Well, PCA started his season wearing jogger pants and it stood out to me because I just said I don't like the look. Saw his blue socks and he's a little bit Shorter, a little bit tighter. And then he switched to relaxed fit pants on April 18. So I went through and found the exact game. It was a Saturday game at Wrigley against the Pirates wearing jogger pants. This year this is what Pete Crow Armstrong has how he performed. Batting average of.227 on base of.272, a slug of.293 for an OPS of.565.

[Dan Bernstein]

That's bad. It's real bad.565 is very bad.

[Ron Coomer]

Slugging of.293. That's just, that's terrible.

[Dan Bernstein]

But then on April 18th, something changed.

[Ron Coomer]

His pants changed and he changed to the relaxed fit pants which he's been wearing ever since. Since the pant change. He is hitting.316 with an on base percentage of.415 and he's slugging.724 and his OPS is.1139. He went from slugging.293 to.724 after he changed the pants.

[Dan Bernstein]

We talked about endorsements in the space yesterday. If you, if he isn't just a walking testimonial for relaxed fit pants being causal. I don't think this is correlative.

[Ron Coomer]

No, it's, it's causal.

[Dan Bernstein]

I, I think this is causal. I think. I, I think having more room for everything to be in its proper place be where it's supposed to be. To just not have the overall like sunny gray tight pants tension going on there that he can speak to it. And if they come up with. If Lululemon is able to come up with like a PCA baseball pant. And this is the secret to being successful.

[Ron Coomer]

Well, Dan, what do we've talked about? What has gotten, what has improved significantly during the course of this season for PCA at the plate? His walk rate.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yep.

[Ron Coomer]

His takes. Yep. He takes more pitches. He's not, he's not attacking outside the zone. He's better at hitting within the zone, but he's more relaxed. His pants have allowed him to be more relaxed at the plate.

[Dan Bernstein]

We found it.

[Ron Coomer]

You've secret right there.

[Dan Bernstein]

You have uncovered something that is, is inarguable and I think you deserve proper credit for it. I really do. This is a, this is a, this is a big day and we know we got World cup games. We're talking a lot about where you happen to watch those World cup games. And it doesn't matter where you watch. It's always more fun if you got maybe a little something riding on it. Maybe you don't have a rooting interest In Spain or Morocco or France or whoever it is. Or is Morocco. I don't know. Who's that? I don't even know, really. I know Belgium has left. I don't know if you're too angry at Belgium to believe in them, but I believe in Vanakin. Pete Vanakin is out there. So you can just make a bet on my bookie right now whether or not both teams are going to score. It's that simple. There's all kinds of stuff. You don't know anything. A lot of people know everything about soccer. I don't really know anything. I don't know who's good. And that makes it fun for me because, you know, you watch, you see things and you get to watch. Now that the Americans are out and we don't have to deal with. With all of the bloviating bullshit about it, we can just watch a little bit of soccer and see who the best team in the world is or who wins the World Cup. I don't know if the best team in the world wins the World cup or if it's like the World Series or how that works, but I'm watching. And that's your bet. Will both teams score? It's one of the biggest sporting events in the world. You can be there with my bookie. The promo code is dbu. That will allow you to claim your deposit bonus and get up to $500 in protection and on your first bet at my bookie. So you get a bunch of things when you go to MyBookie ag register, deposit, use the code DBU. And that is only at MyBookie.

[Ron Coomer]

All right, buddy, here's what's left in the. In the. In the World Cup. So you have your. Under the final eight. Yep. Today's. Today's game is France and Morocco.

[Dan Bernstein]

Oh, okay. What. What time tonight? Is that today or tonight?

[Ron Coomer]

That's a three. That's afternoon, 3:00 clock game.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, what's tonight? Because if both baseball games are day games, there's.

[Ron Coomer]

There's no night game tonight. So you have France and Morocco this afternoon at three. Tomorrow on July 10th, that's tomorrow. Friday at two in the afternoon, Spain and Belgium. And then Saturday is the big day. Saturday is when. Oh, yeah, this is a big day. 4 o' clock. Norway takes on England at 4pm and then the 8pm game is Argentina and Switzerland. So that's going to get me to a semifinal of Norway and Argentina. Oh, my God.

[Dan Bernstein]

I can't get enough Erling Holland content.

[Ron Coomer]

No, dude, I can't and then you're gonna give me. You're gonna give me Erling Holland and Messi in the same game.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, but Holland is so cool. And I hope, I hope, I hope. Do we know enough about Holland to know we're not gonna have a milkshake duck situation here? We. Where we get all excited about him and we. We fall in love with him, and then it turns out that he's. He's problematic.

[Ron Coomer]

I haven't seen anything. I hope that's not the case. I know enough about him.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. He's famous enough that we would know if he's probably.

[Ron Coomer]

It would be out already for sure. Correct.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. Because he's hysterically funny. Did you see the stuff with the cowboy hat and the cowboy boots?

[Ron Coomer]

No.

[Dan Bernstein]

In Dallas, where he goes to the Western store. Oh, you gotta see that, too.

[Ron Coomer]

I'll find it.

[Dan Bernstein]

And everybody impersonating him. Have you seen the woman that works at the aquarium that looks a little bit like him that. That does his walk? She juts out her jaw and sticks her neck out and does the whole Holland thing? There's songs about him, there's animations about him.

[Ron Coomer]

Did you see the Nike commercial for him?

[Dan Bernstein]

I don't know.

[Ron Coomer]

The goalie perspective, like the five stages of.

[Dan Bernstein]

No.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, yeah. So I. I just sent it to you. I sent it to your phone so you can watch it when we're done. It's really funny.

[Dan Bernstein]

And his just the. The ball comes off his foot like a cannon shot. It's just incredible. And he's. And he's enormous. And he's faster than all but three people in the NFL. He would be the fourth fastest person in the NFL.

[Ron Coomer]

So I'll be pulling for. For Norway to beat England on Saturday and then Argentina to beat Switzerland, because I want to. I want to watch. I want to watch Argentina. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay. You want to watch Holland against Messi?

[Ron Coomer]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that'd be sweet. Yeah. But I can't get enough of him.

[Commercial Announcer]

Plus, that's.

[Ron Coomer]

That's. That's two good uniforms, too. That's. That's a good uniform matchup as well.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, One of my neighbors put out a big Norway flag. I saw that. Just.

[Ron Coomer]

I. Norwegian. I don't know.

[Dan Bernstein]

I went by on the way to work today, and it's right there off. Off of Waveland. And he's got a big old Norway flag on the bungalow. I'm like, okay, maybe just likes Holland or likes Erling Holland, not the country of Holland.

[Ron Coomer]

Wait, he didn't have the flag in his bunghole?

[Dan Bernstein]

What'd you say Bungalow? Oh, bungalow.

[Ron Coomer]

Okay. I was like that.

[Dan Bernstein]

You must really like him.

[Ron Coomer]

Is he.

[Shopify User / Advertiser]

No.

[Ron Coomer]

Christopher Peaton?

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. Big fan. Yes. And then you're hanging out. Next thing you're in Fort Wayne with your gas can and your four lighters

[Ron Coomer]

where you put that Norway flag. Oh, just wait, I'll show you.

[Dan Bernstein]

Now I'm thinking if he was on the floor, fourth lighter, how annoying that would be. They found four lighters from the lightest severed dick on fire.

[Ron Coomer]

First three just sparked. They didn't.

[Dan Bernstein]

Right. Damn it.

[Ron Coomer]

God.

[Dan Bernstein]

I finally did it. I finally achieved my lifetime goal of cutting off my dick and lighting it on fire. And one shoot, that doesn't work. Let me get another one here. Wait a second.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, that's a sponsorship waiting to happen for Bic.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. If you're arguing, light your dick with a Bic.

[Ron Coomer]

Right? There you go. There you go. The light every time. Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

Hi, I'm Dick Leiter for Bic Lighters. Here's my friend Christopher Peden or Pez.

[Ron Coomer]

Also a dick lighter.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, Also a dick lighter. Wasn't that James Bond's guy? Felix Leiter. And you got, you got Mark lighter, you got Al Leiter, you Got Mark Lighter Jr. Yep. And. And now we've got Dick Leiter. Probably somewhere in the Leiter family, there's. I, I'm sure, I guarantee you there's somebody related to, to Al and Mark and Mark junior. There's a dick lighter in that. In that lineage somewhere.

[Ron Coomer]

Lots of, lots of smokers in that family. Have you. Oh, you know, we watched a little bit of a stand up last night. A show. Have you ever heard of. Oh, man. What is his name? I texted Tannehill about it.

[Dan Bernstein]

He knows all about stand up guys.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. Derek Stroop.

[Dan Bernstein]

No, nothing.

[Ron Coomer]

He's a. There's a special on Netflix. It's very. I'd never heard of him before.

[Dan Bernstein]

Does he wear his hat sideways? No, no, no.

[Ron Coomer]

He's not like Pedro.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay.

[Ron Coomer]

He's very funny, though. He's a dude from Alabama. He's really. And he has a whole bit about how we need to bring cigarettes back and smoking back. World was a better place when we smoked.

[Dan Bernstein]

This is like the Seinfeld bit about the best reason to have the. The cigarette is too good. When you win an argument after pointing with it. When you step on it, the argument.

[Ron Coomer]

No, it's just original content about how it made the world better and, and saved a lot of like family holidays. And it was. It's really funny bit. But he was very, very Funny. You should check it out.

[Dan Bernstein]

Okay, I will. I have been on an Anthony Jeselnik.

[Ron Coomer]

Oh, yeah, he's funny.

[Dan Bernstein]

Kick lately. Yeah, he's really funny. He's really funny. And. And he constructs these jokes nicely. Those. They're paraproctosian jokes. Is that the right word? Like Emo Phillips or.

[Ron Coomer]

It's.

[Dan Bernstein]

It's. It's a joke that takes you in one direction and then twists at the end to something unexpected or inverted or subversive. And he's really good at it.

[Ron Coomer]

And yeah, he's. He's got. He's got a very unique delivery and tone.

[Dan Bernstein]

For sure.

[Ron Coomer]

I like him.

[Dan Bernstein]

Well, this has been a lovely, fun show. You know, this is. This is a year, man.

[Ron Coomer]

Antonia.

[Dan Bernstein]

Story of the year. It's not going away. It is. It is not going away.

[Ron Coomer]

And it's easily. It easily trumped the guy who died of a heart attack after murdering his girlfriend, which was. I thought. I thought it was. That was in contention for story of the year.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, that was very Coen brothers.

[Ron Coomer]

But yeah, this is. This is surpassed that by a lot.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, this is the number one story. Can we get him on the show?

[Ron Coomer]

If we can do like a. If they'll allow it. Like in prison.

[Dan Bernstein]

Sure.

[Ron Coomer]

Like a video call. A zoom from prison.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah. To see how he's doing. I imagine the answer is bad. How do you.

[Ron Coomer]

How do you. How do you. How do you like, go to go pee now? How do you do that? How does that work?

[Dan Bernstein]

Imagine it messes with your aim. It's like a sawed off shotgun. Right.

[Ron Coomer]

Sprays everywhere. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

The whole. That's the whole point of sawing off a shotgun is because the pattern. No, I get that.

[Ron Coomer]

I've never correlated that to cutting off your penis, though, and how that would impact.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, right.

[Ron Coomer]

You're.

[Dan Bernstein]

The cloud is. The cloud of shot is. Is bigger.

[Ron Coomer]

Yeah. He's got to be a shower guy now to pee. He can't. You can't. You can't trust the aim on a toilet or a urinal. Yeah.

[Dan Bernstein]

You don't want to be next to him at a Bears game or in the shower. You're like, what the hell, dude? Sorry.

[Ron Coomer]

He's like, I.

[Dan Bernstein]

What do you. What do you want from me, man? I had a bad day in the

[Ron Coomer]

shower, though, that's for sure.

[Dan Bernstein]

Yeah, I. I don't know. We'll have to ask him. We've got a lot of unanswered questions. So on our list of unanswered questions, we have to find out about a PCA's pants.

[Ron Coomer]

What's in them?

[Dan Bernstein]

No. Oh, what about them? What about them? Or what's with them?

[Ron Coomer]

Yes.

[Dan Bernstein]

My bad. We also, we need to find out whether or not Sam Antonacci's family comes from the same place near Bari where your family comes from and where Tino Antonacci's family comes from.

[Ron Coomer]

And if we're all related.

[Dan Bernstein]

If you're all related. So we're going to we're going to work back on that. We have a lot of open questions here, and we will bring you the answers. On Dan Bernstein, Unfiltered. We have been brought to you by Chicago Window Guys, 847-302-9171, chicagowindowguys.com and in partnership with my bookie, Dan Bernstein, unfiltered. Unfiltered on 312Sports.