Dan Bernstein Unfiltered: "Tom Brady Needs Help."

Podcast: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Date: September 18, 2025
Host: Dan Bernstein (B), with Matt Abbatacola (A)

Episode Overview

This episode veers away (for a bit) from Chicago Bears-related angst to examine the media storm and controversy surrounding Tom Brady’s role as an NFL broadcaster — specifically: Should Tom Brady have access to teams’ “secret” information in production meetings, when he’s both Fox’s high-priced lead analyst and a part-owner of the Raiders? Dan Bernstein and Matt Abbatacola use their trademark blend of sarcasm, pop culture asides, and football analysis to argue that the real issue isn’t "spying" — it’s that Brady simply needs the information to be a better analyst, because right now, he’s not very good.

Other topics include the role of insider information in making color commentary useful, Fox’s investment in Brady, Cubs playoff hopes, and the nature of sports broadcasting — all laced with zany digressions like “Comedy Prison,” Sandra Lee’s “Semi-Homemade,” and the Blue Collar Comedy Tour.

Main Themes & Key Insights

1. Tom Brady’s Broadcast Access: Is There a Real Conflict?

• Timestamp: 03:02
  Bernstein pivots the conversation: “Tom Brady needs to have these meetings with coaches, and here's why. This isn't about conflict of interest ... I'm a little bad footballed out. Is that okay?”

• The media and some fans are worried that Brady, now with Raiders ownership ties, might use inside info gleaned from broadcast prep to help his team.

  Bernstein’s take: The Bears are so bad there are no secrets worth stealing, and the conflict is overblown.

  “First of all, the Bears suck out loud, so who gives a shit, right?” (04:52, B)

• Matt jokes that if Brady’s looking for insider secrets in Chicago, there’s nothing useful to find.

  “If Tom Brady was there to get information and he went back to the Raiders, like, his notebook would be empty.” (05:14, A)

2. Why Those Production Meetings Matter—for the Audience

• Timestamp: 10:10
  Bernstein explains why behind-the-scenes coach meetings are crucial for a good broadcast: they provide color commentators with context and off-the-record opinions they can then translate (without naming sources) during the game.

  “So much of a really good broadcast is informed by off the record, on background stuff that coaches are giving them. They can't say it comes from coaches, but it does.” (10:55, B)

• Without these information exchanges, viewers are robbed of the nuance a great analyst should provide. Brady, already lacking as a broadcaster, will be worse off if coaches clam up.

3. The Ben Johnson Coach "Jokes" — But the Joke’s on Us

• Timestamp: 06:20-07:00
  The pod spends a segment making fun of Lions coach Ben Johnson giving “coach-speak” non-answers when asked about Brady’s pre-game production meeting (“working the room,” “killing it,” etc.).

• Bernstein says the performative swearing-off giving Brady info actually harms the product:

  “When the coaches are going out of their way to joke about how they won't tell Tom Brady anything. He's already bad at broadcasting. This is gonna make him worse at broadcasting. He needs the help because he's not that good.” (13:11, B)

• The “Comedy Prison” riff (starting at 01:13 and recurring throughout) lampoons this media environment where jokes and non-answers replace substance.

4. Blunt Critique of Tom Brady as a Broadcaster

• The hosts repeatedly say Brady’s not up to the job, citing Fox’s bizarre need to air promos reassuring viewers that “he knows football.”

  “That’s millions of dollars worth of promo time to say, hey, this Tom Brady, who’s maybe the best quarterback of all time. You know what? He knows football. They’re doing that because nobody thinks he really knows anything about football.” (14:22, B)

• Abbatacola:

  “It's not very good, at all, any of the broadcasts he does… there are so many guys that are so much better than he is.” (14:28, A)

• They also compare him to Alex Rodriguez — famous ex-athlete, not great broadcaster — and call Brady “football A-Rod” (21:09, B).

5. What the Audience Really Wants: Insight, Not Celebrity

• Both hosts reminisce about classic broadcasts, praising analysts like Greg Olsen, Chris Fowler, Dan Orlovsky, and Lewis Riddick for providing real teaching moments and insight.

• Abbatacola:

  “What I want is the things that I see on my TV... I want him to explain what I'm seeing in a way that I can't see it. And Tom Brady does not have that ability.” (20:23, A)

• Bernstein:

  “Why create a situation where he has less information than a replacement level broadcaster? Because we know that to be a fact. He has less information than a replacement level broadcaster.” (21:48, B)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the Joke of Bears Secrets (05:32, B):
  “They're walking in the back of the room, throwing pies at each other... We can't let him know our secrets. We're 0-2. We've given up more points than any team in the league.”

• On Coach Meetings and the Broadcast (12:45, B):
  “This whole thing is about Tom Brady needing all that information. And it's also about learning about what the coach is think[ing].”

• On Analyst-Coach Symbiosis (17:38, B):
  “It's a big deal to me as a viewer ... I want good analysis and I want insight into what the coach is thinking about certain players.”

• Comparing Tom Brady to A-Rod (21:09, B):
  “He’s football A-Rod... he's in the booth, he didn't really prepare, he doesn't really know anything. He's just kind of handsome and famous and powerful and conflicted and he's there because he's there.”

• On Retro Booths and Info (23:23, A):
  “I bet you more information than what Tom Brady shares though. I would bet.”

• On The Real Issue (20:57, B):
  “He needs the help because he's not that good. And when the coaches are like, I'm not telling this guy anything... it's not gonna be an interesting broadcast. There's gonna be no insight.”

Other Segments of Note (Timestamps)

• Chicago Cubs Playoff Talk (27:35–34:52)

  • The Cubs have clinched a playoff spot despite adversity (injury to their ace, loss of catcher).
  • Who starts first in the playoffs? “Kate Horton, Imanaga, and then Matthew Boyd. One, two, three.”
  • On Kyle Tucker’s injury and weird rehab: “They’re sending him to a mystical faith healer at the top of a mountain.” (29:12, B)
  • Free agent speculation: “All it takes is one stupid person to give him one stupid contract offer to ruin the whole thing.” (31:57, A)

• Broadcasting Quality: Cubs Radio (36:44)

  • Long praise of the Cubs TV and radio teams, especially JD’s “super dry” humor and “negative space.”

• Yankees–Red Sox Possible Wild Card Matchup (40:17)

  • “That's always fun. I mean, that's always fun.” (40:20, A)

• Bears Playoff Odds & ESPN's FPI (53:06)

  • “The Bears have a 6.3% chance to make the playoffs, according to the FBI. We're still waiting comment from the FBI, though.” (53:55, A)

• “Comedy Prison” Extended Riff (Recurring)

  • “They're building Comedy Prison? ... They're hiring the guards for comedy prisoners. ... You're gonna have to dig your way out with a rock hammer.” (01:37-02:01, B)
  • “You need the best comedy lawyers. They come in with big floppy shoes. My team is on it.” (49:37, B)

Tone, Style & Closing

• The tone is fast, irreverent, and loaded with sarcasm—equal parts “Chicago guy at the bar” and media insider.
• Pop culture tangents (Sandra Lee’s “Semi-Homemade,” the Blue Collar Comedy Tour, the invention of “Comedy Prison”) serve as comic relief but also as pointed metaphors about the state of modern sports coverage.

Bottom Line

Dan and Matt argue that the only thing Tom Brady is stealing is the chance for viewers to hear decent football analysis. The obsession over “secrets” and “conflict of interest” is mostly media noise — the real loss is football fans missing out on the game insight a better, better-prepared analyst could provide, especially when coaches play “no comment.” As for Brady, he’s rich, famous, and "football A-Rod" — but it takes more than that to make a great broadcast.

[End of summary]