Dan Bernstein Unfiltered: Episode 3

Date: August 27, 2025
Podcast: Dan Bernstein Unfiltered
Host: Dan Bernstein, with Matt Abbatacola
Theme: Will Craig Counsell's bold move pay off for the Chicago Cubs? Bears roster talk, remembering Bobby Jenks and Malcolm-Jamal Warner, stories from Matt's Italy trip, and federal troops doing Chicago landscaping.

Episode Overview

In this fast-paced and witty installment, Dan Bernstein and co-host Matt Abbatacola take listeners through a lively discussion of key Chicago sports stories, with a deep dive into Craig Counsell's impactful managerial move for the Cubs and the Chicago Bears' 53-man roster decisions. The episode then detours into affectionate and irreverent tributes to recently passed sports and entertainment figures, Matt’s colorful recounting of his Italian travels, and the absurdist news that the National Guard is taking over landscaping work in D.C — with characteristic banter and humor throughout.

Key Discussion Points and Segments

1. Craig Counsell’s Big Move: Benching Kyle Tucker

[03:04–13:37]

• The Move: Dan opens with Counsell’s surprising decision to bench Kyle Tucker — one of baseball’s top 20 players, and in a contract year.

• Managerial Courage: Both hosts stress how rare and gutsy this move is, considering the stakes for Tucker, who’s playing for a huge free-agency payday.

• Lineups Don’t Really Matter (Except When They Do): Dan mounts a defense of not overanalyzing lineups, emphasizing that getting the best hitters the most ABs is a manager’s only true season-long duty:

  "Lineups, they don't matter. They don't matter. ... The only thing that I will reserve the right to quibble with is if your best hitters over the course of a season are not getting the most plate appearances." (Dan, 04:34)

• Player Buy-in: The hosts note the respect required for Counsell to navigate this with Tucker, contrasting him as a “rent-a-player” without deep Cubs roots:

  "...the balls that it takes for a manager to go to a guy with whom he doesn't have a built-in relationship..." (Dan, 07:44)

• Evidence of Results: Improvements in Tucker’s swing and body language are pointed out, referencing Northside Baseball and the eye test from broadcasters.

• Importance of Appreciation: Dan calls for listeners and fans to give Counsell proper credit if the Cubs’ season turns on this moment:

  "...I want to make sure that we are throwing bouquets at Craig Counsell and giving him proper kudos...because he deserves it." (Dan, 10:30)

2. Chicago Bears 53-Man Roster Deep Dive

[14:00–21:23]

• Surprise Decisions: Discussion centers on the cutdown process, specifically the surprise of keeping John A. Walker over Tyler Scott, despite Scott’s expected “Mooney replacement” role.
• Locker Room Dynamics: Praise for Walker's hard work and likability:

  “…very, very well liked in the locker room. Very well respected in the wide receivers room.” (Matt, 16:35)

• End-of-Roster Oddities: Interior offensive lineman Bill Murray’s absence and other familiar “just-around” names who didn’t make the team.
• Cuts and Depth: Reflections on Zach Pickens, Jonathan Ford, and the “end-of-roster and practice squad stuff” — often little-noticed players who end up starting by December due to injuries.
• Doug Kramer Memories:
  • The “ill-fated handoff at the goal line” and his brief, sometimes farcical Bears tenure.
  • Running joke about practice squad players always ending up starting due to NFL attrition.

3. Irreverent Tributes: The Book of the Dead

[25:36–33:26]

Bobby Jenks

• Both hosts commemorate his remarkable role in the 2005 White Sox championship run, emphasizing both his baseball achievement and the underlying tragedy of his life story.

  “He was a critical, material piece of a champion that had one of the greatest playoff performances as a team in sports history.” (Dan, 27:08)

Malcolm-Jamal Warner (Theo from The Cosby Show)

• Good-natured debate over whether he was a “great” or merely a “good” actor, inadvertently mixing eulogies with show nostalgia.
• Fun banter about the “jammin’ on the one” Stevie Wonder episode and Questlove’s essay on the influence of that moment on a generation of DJs and sampling geeks:

  “As a kid, the number of DJs, the number of aspiring DJs who saw that, and the fact that it coincided with the first release of affordable sampling…was because of that show.” (Dan, 31:53)

4. Matt’s Italian Odyssey (and Dan’s Bidet Confession)

[34:59–47:44]

• Trip Highlights:
  • Rushed Rome sightseeing on jet lag.
  • Guided archaeology tour of Pompeii by a real dig team member — including brothel menu paintings.
  • Sicilian Godfather tour (Savoca), meeting the actress-mother of Apollonia (almost!).
  • Architecture and culinary stops in Bari.
  • Falconry center in Croatia.
  • The dazzling colors and glass-blowing workshops on the Venetian islands of Murano and Burano.
• Memorable Moments and Jokes:

  • Both Matt and Dan bond over mutual digestive disaster at Rome’s Westin Excelsior.

    “I actually had horrible diarrhea at the Excelsior in Rome. First night there was brutal.” (Dan, 45:51)

  • Hilarious run-ins with “Captain Americano”—a mustachioed Kid Rock fan in Italy demanding real American coffee.

  • Sketch of a classic New York “guy who can get you anything” on the cruise, offering to ship an olive tree overnight.

  • Observation about Italy’s fixed water bottle caps to prevent littering—and Dan’s good-natured teasing about Matt’s fascination with them.

  • Overview of the omnipresence of Coke, Coke Zero, and Fanta as soft drinks in Italy.

5. National Guard, Federal Troops, and Big Landscaping

[53:20–56:53]

• Absurd Policy Shift:
  • Dan discusses news that National Guard troops are being reassigned from anti-crime patrols in D.C. to trash pickup and landscaping around monuments.
  • Satirical breakdown of the logic — cost-cutting that replaces laid-off government workers with armed volunteers now mulching tree roots.
  • Running gag about a government conspiracy to take over “Big Landscaping.”
• Memorable Bit:

  “If you actually look at the policy, on balance, it looks like the administration is trying to corner landscaping. … They’re going to dig up Rudy. …and have all of his hair dye dripping for another press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping...” (Dan, 55:02)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Craig Counsell’s manager moment:

  "…to go to a guy with whom he doesn't have a built in relationship...This is a rent-a-player...his only time as a Cub. He didn't owe the Cubs anything." (Dan, 07:44)

• On Malcolm-Jamal Warner:

  "I hope he haunts you tonight." (Matt, 29:59)

• On Italian breakfast:

  "Oh good, you got real American coffee there...I didn't want any of that latte date stuff that these people drink today.” (Matt, recounting Captain Americano, 47:35)

• On Italian water bottle caps:

  “The plastic bottles, water bottles, the caps don't come off... It's the best thing ever. I don't know why I was so fascinated by that." (Matt, 49:13)

• On government mission creep:

  “If that's the deal...If you want to walk, do some weeding...go down to South and West sides and clean up the streets…This is on the federal dime — fix some potholes..." (Dan, 54:42)

• On international Big Landscaping conspiracy:

  "The entire plot has been...‘Wait a second here. We can take over Big Landscaping.’ … They're going to dig up Rudy...hair dye dripping...for another press conference at Four Seasons Landscaping..." (Dan, 55:02)

Episode Structure & Timestamps

• [03:04] – Cubs, Craig Counsell benches Kyle Tucker
• [14:00] – Bears roster, Walker surprise, locker room & end-of-roster talk
• [25:36] – Book of the Dead: Bobby Jenks and Malcolm-Jamal Warner
• [34:59] – Matt’s trip to Italy: Rome, Pompeii, Godfather sites, Bari, the bidet story, Italian coffee
• [53:20] – National Guard in D.C. becomes D.C.'s landscaping crew; federal “conspiracy” against Big Landscaping
• [57:25] – Show sign-off and social media plug

Tone and Style

• Unfiltered, irreverent, and direct, with sharp Chicago sports takes and off-the-cuff comedic riffing.
• Banter blends personal anecdotes, hyperlocal references, and sports analysis, making the show equally appealing for diehard Chicago fans and those looking for sharp, no-nonsense sports talk laced with humor.

For Listeners Who Haven’t Tuned In

This episode offers a quintessential slice of the Dan Bernstein Unfiltered experience:

• Smart, honest takes on managerial decisions shaping Chicago’s sports scene
• Deep but playful dives into Bears roster drama
• Sincere (albeit unconventional) tributes to pop culture and sports icons
• Hilarious travel misadventures
• Political satire on current events—all delivered in Dan and Matt’s natural, no-filter voices.

If you're looking for honest, funny, and deeply Chicago-centric sports commentary—and don’t mind a side of culinary disaster or bathroom humor—this episode is a must-listen.