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- [00:00]
Lauren Lapkus
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human what's up y'? All?
- [00:06]
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- [00:54]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Hey everyone, it's Kalpen. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. Every episode, I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart audiobook club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [01:23]
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- [01:54]
Bowen Yang
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- [02:52]
Lauren Lapkus
Are you really buying a car online on autotrader right now? Really? At a playground? Yeah, really. Look at these listings from dealers. Wow, your search can really get that specific. Really?
- [03:03]
Danielle Fishel
And you just put in your info
- [03:04]
Lauren Lapkus
and boom, car's in your budget. Mom needs a second. Honey, you can really have it delivered. Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec, sweetie. Mommy's buying a car.
- [03:15]
Danielle Fishel
Mommy's.
- [03:16]
Lauren Lapkus
I think your kid is walking up the slide.
- [03:17]
Danielle Fishel
Kyle.
- [03:18]
Lauren Lapkus
Again?
- [03:19]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Really?
- [03:19]
Danielle Fishel
Auto trader.
- [03:20]
Lauren Lapkus
Buy your car online.
- [03:21]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [03:28]
Lauren Lapkus
Give me money for cigarettes. I'll never leave your cookie bed. I stay the night. And one night weekend two or three years the kids are not all right. But that's okay. Cause no one here is take Beat.
- [03:49]
Danielle Fishel
Hello residents of Beat Street. Ooh, I like that one. I'll just put that one in my back pocket. It could stick. This is Teen Beat and I'm your host, Danielle Fishel, a now adult who was a then child watching her own teenage years pass by on a weekly national TV show airing in front of millions of strangers. And so now for a living, I sit with interesting people who have done interesting things to learn about their upbringings and the unavoidable bumpy roads to maturity we all encounter on or off camera. Because we all know that our past might not be identical, but it is always a roadmap for our present and our future. I experienced my awkward phases and pimple breakouts as part of ABC's TGIF lineup. So I see it like this. I gave you my childhood. It's time we hear yours. And this week, not only am I talking to one of the funniest people on the planet, she's one of my all time favorite humans on it too. You see, sometimes I have to pretend my guest is a friend. But really, we just met 30 seconds before we pressed the record button and only talked if they wanted to later. But today, she's a bestie. She's a podcast legend with way more than 10,000 hilarious hours available online. But you've also seen this improv master on shows like Good Girls, Crow Show, Comedy, Bang Bang, Orange Is the New Black and The Big Bang Theory and in movies like Between Two Ferns and Jurassic World. But most notably, she was the titular character in a Covid era comedy that Marlon Wayans just called the most underrated movie of all time. The Wrong Missy. And now you'll see her in the brand new genre bending spinoff of the Big Bang Theory. Stewart fails to save the Universe. Debuting July 23rd on HBO Max. She can be Tracy Reardon or Ho Ho the Elf or Big sue or Todd or Whitney Peeps. But today, she's my newest Teen Beat guest. Please say hello to a hilarious real life pal, Lauren Lapkins.
- [05:54]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my gosh. That was such a nice intro.
- [05:57]
Danielle Fishel
Well, we like to really sweeten the pot.
- [06:01]
Lauren Lapkus
That was good. You know, that was actually like a very nice.
- [06:04]
Danielle Fishel
Well rounded.
- [06:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Yes, well rounded.
- [06:06]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [06:06]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Good.
- [06:06]
Danielle Fishel
Well, you have quite an illustrious career. Lots of things to. Lots of things to cover. I feel like I have been looking forward to this episode for a long time, even since before I knew I had this podcast. I just have been excited to hear about what made Lauren Lapkis become Lauren Lapkis.
- [06:22]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, God.
- [06:22]
Danielle Fishel
So thank you for hanging out with me.
- [06:24]
Lauren Lapkus
Thank you for having me. I love this podcast. I am a listener and I highly enjoy it.
- [06:28]
Danielle Fishel
Thank you. That really means a lot because you don't have a whole lot of time.
- [06:31]
Lauren Lapkus
You know, I like to have one in my ear while I'm doing anything or playing with my children. Good, smart, smart. Multitask.
- [06:38]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, that's how Jensen is. Jensen always is listening to something and I find I just crave silence any chance I get.
- [06:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Sometimes I want that, like, car drive of like, you know, American Psycho. Just like nothing, right? Yeah.
- [06:53]
Danielle Fishel
So first, I know you were recently in Mexico City to promote your new show, Stuart Fails at Saving the Universe. And I wanted to ask you about your big night at cmll, the Incredible Lucha Wrestling Federation in Mexico. Can we say you've been converted into a wrestling fan?
- [07:10]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. Well, I know you're a big fan and I loved it. It was so fun. It was so theatrical.
- [07:16]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah.
- [07:16]
Lauren Lapkus
I didn't really know what to expect. I've never been to, like, any, like, wwf.
- [07:21]
Danielle Fishel
Thank you.
- [07:22]
Lauren Lapkus
I knew I was doing it wrong. I knew I was doing it wrong.
- [07:23]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [07:23]
Danielle Fishel
World Wildlife Federation is the WWF now. Also wrestle. Yeah. Those pandas, they get into it.
- [07:30]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh. But it used to be f. When we were kids.
- [07:32]
Danielle Fishel
Used to be.
- [07:32]
Lauren Lapkus
And then.
- [07:33]
Danielle Fishel
And then basically the World Wildlife foundation was like, give us back our letters.
- [07:37]
Lauren Lapkus
Amazing. Okay. So when I was. I remember being in eighth grade and watching the Rock at my Friend's house. I think that was, like, really. She was super into it, and I. I got it a little bit then, but never really, like, got hooked. But this was, like, really fun. I mean, the audience was going insane. It was the loudest thing I've ever attended. Like, there. The women were amazing. That was almost my favorite part.
- [07:56]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, totally.
- [07:57]
Lauren Lapkus
They were just throwing themselves all over, and they fly out of the ring. I don't know how they're not injured. Like, I don't understand.
- [08:03]
Danielle Fishel
I think that every time I see someone go out of the ring, like, for some reason in the ring, even though I know it hurts in there, too in the ring, I'm like, okay, that's what that's made for. Out of the ring. That's not what that's made for.
- [08:17]
Lauren Lapkus
No.
- [08:18]
Danielle Fishel
How are you landing on your shoulder?
- [08:20]
Lauren Lapkus
I don't know. And I also feel like this. Do you think Lucha libre is more comical than it is?
- [08:25]
Danielle Fishel
Definitely more hyperbolic.
- [08:31]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. You want to run into me and then, like, we do a tumble and flip over each other and, like, never touch or whatever, and, like, it's kind of like, circus. Yes, a little bit. Yeah.
- [08:38]
Danielle Fishel
A little, like, circus. It's so much fun, truly, what you just mentioned about it being loud and the crowd being so into it.
- [08:44]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [08:45]
Danielle Fishel
That's actually the thing that made me re. Fall in love with. With wrestling when I got back into it around 2017, is that I was enjoying the theatrics and the athleticism of what I was watching. But the fact that the audience is just as much of a character in the storyline with the chance and, like,
- [09:04]
Lauren Lapkus
who's the bad guy and who's the good guy? They're all on the same page, and
- [09:07]
Danielle Fishel
everyone agrees, and they know what to say, and they, you know, the minute somebody holds up their hands, they know what chant to do. I loved all of that so much. So that's kind of the thing that hooks me, for sure.
- [09:18]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [09:20]
Danielle Fishel
I think people hear you on podcasts like threedom or Comedy Bang Bang and immediately wonder what you were like as a kid. Will you tell me about teenage Lauren Lapkins?
- [09:31]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [09:31]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay, so what do I do? High school, middle school? I guess it's all kind of the same. I mean, I feel like I got glasses when I was in second grade, which I think is important to note. So I had glasses for most of my childhood.
- [09:42]
Danielle Fishel
I love a child with glasses. It's the greatest thing.
- [09:45]
Lauren Lapkus
It's really cute. I mean, it's very cute. I think, as that person, it's Kind of, like, funny, right? Think of it, like, as, like I'm in Married, but, like, there is, like, a glasses thing. So it's my glasses always dirty or, like, you know, it wasn't, like, taking care of my glasses.
- [09:58]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [09:58]
Lauren Lapkus
It's hard for kids or, like, take
- [10:00]
Danielle Fishel
care of anything, so that's just to
- [10:02]
Lauren Lapkus
give you a little. And I always had crooked bangs, which maybe I still do.
- [10:06]
Danielle Fishel
You. Did you cut your own thing?
- [10:07]
Lauren Lapkus
No, my mom would cut them sometimes, and that would be, like, they just. The scissors just going in a wave. I don't know. I cut my daughter's bangs now, and I do know how to do it with just going up. Oh, there's me. Oh, yeah.
- [10:20]
Danielle Fishel
You had white glasses yourself.
- [10:22]
Lauren Lapkus
Well, no, those are fake.
- [10:23]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, okay.
- [10:23]
Lauren Lapkus
I was say, well, they are a
- [10:25]
Danielle Fishel
little large for your face, but, boy, you're cute.
- [10:29]
Lauren Lapkus
That's a cute picture.
- [10:30]
Danielle Fishel
That really looks like Holly.
- [10:32]
Lauren Lapkus
It does. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. I know my kids look a lot like me when I was little. It's so crazy, but I. You know, I got into, like, wanting to do plays when I was, like, fourth or fifth grade, and we had a local children's, like, community theater kind of stuff, and I did some plays. And so I did Beauty and the Beast, and I didn't get any, like, main part. They, like, wrote a part for me where I was, like, the mother wolf with, like, a little husband and a baby wolf. And then we kind of came out and did, like, a little bit of improv.
- [10:58]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [10:59]
Lauren Lapkus
We didn't really have, like, set things that we were saying every time.
- [11:02]
Danielle Fishel
Right. Because they made the role for you.
- [11:03]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, yeah. We kind of were, like, improvising, and then we would get laughs, and so it was very addictive. And I feel like that's how I started wanting to perform.
- [11:10]
Bowen Yang
Wow.
- [11:11]
Danielle Fishel
Wait. I would just like to comment on what a compliment it is that they were like, this. This girl will not fit into the box of one of the characters. But she's so creative. Let's not even give her a lot. We're just gonna let her say whatever she wants, and I bet it'll be good.
- [11:26]
Lauren Lapkus
That's. That is nice. Yeah, That's a nicer way to think of it. I was like, I didn't get any of the parts. Like, no.
- [11:31]
Danielle Fishel
They were like, we can't put this girl in a box. Yeah, let's let her create her own thing.
- [11:35]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. So I did that, and then I started doing, like, you know, whatever plays. But then, like, you know, in high school, my dream was to, like, Be in every play. And I didn't get into any play, so I was just like class clown, like, always making jokes, always talking in class.
- [11:47]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [11:49]
Lauren Lapkus
I started doing, like, improv in high school, and that's where I found my voice more. But, like, it was, I think, like, class clown was kind of my identity for, like, most of middle school, high school, just like shouting something out, related to the subject.
- [12:01]
Danielle Fishel
Right, right.
- [12:02]
Lauren Lapkus
And then the teacher usually liked it too. So I feel like I never really got in trouble. It was always, like, funny enough that I skated by that.
- [12:08]
Danielle Fishel
That's great. I was always in trouble because I also couldn't stop talking. But none of the things I were saying were funny. And I was whispering him to the person next to me. And so they were always just like, stop your whispering. I should have taken a cue from. From you for sure. When you say you started improv in high school, did they have. Did your high school have an improv class?
- [12:26]
Lauren Lapkus
We had. So we had like an improv company that was like, independent. And I got into that eventually. But I had a teacher who told me to take improv classes in Chicago. I grew up outside of Chicago in Evanston, Illinois. And he was like, you should take classes at Improv Olympic because they have no age limit. I think that was the reason, because at Second City, you had to be. You had to do teen classes. And he suggested that I just not do that, but go with the adults.
- [12:52]
Danielle Fishel
Wow.
- [12:52]
Lauren Lapkus
And so how old were you? I was a senior, so I was 18. But, like, it was really. I mean, it was like that changed everything because once I was doing that, I didn't really. I had like a separate life.
- [13:02]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [13:03]
Lauren Lapkus
Which I, you know, I was meeting all these. These new people and I was nervous and I would, like, just go to these classes with like 24 year olds and be like, well, I went to prom. Like, I just. I don't even know, like, what I was talking about. I feel like I had nothing to offer also. So I would get, like, self conscious, like, they don't want to hear my thing or like, I don't even know how to improvise because I only know what a teenager knows.
- [13:23]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [13:23]
Lauren Lapkus
But then that was really important for me because it showed me that, like, literally anyone is interesting and, like, everyone has something to say. And it's interesting that I'm 18 because they are not that anymore. And so they're like, what's your experience now? And so it's cool. It was like, it just changed everything for me and also gave me that Confidence of, like, performing and not needing someone to say yes to me because I wouldn't get into the show. I got into, like, the sketch show every year, but I wouldn't get into, like, any play. And so I got. I was always crying about that and feeling so awful. But then it was like, oh, I have this other outlet and I don't need that.
- [13:53]
Danielle Fishel
I mean, I'm so impressed by that because I was thinking about how that's kind of a little bit like a college situation where now you have your own life. But the difference is, like, you mentioned, and in college, everyone has the shared experience of we're all here at this same cost college. We're all within three to four years of each other. You being in high school, freshly 18. Yeah. With people in probably their 20s and 30s.
- [14:16]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. There's like, a lawyer there. You know, it's like, right, you have a job. I'm just trying to, like, get better at public speaking, you know, whatever. Like, people were there for different reasons.
- [14:25]
Bowen Yang
Wow.
- [14:26]
Danielle Fishel
So were you always doing characters in your personal life as well? Like, did you have characters you went to for recurring bits with your family and friends?
- [14:36]
Lauren Lapkus
Definitely. And also, like, my mom, I look back at home videos. My mom would do that too. Like, my mom and her sisters would do characters in, like, our home videos where, like, they're being like a tattoo parlor person who's like, ah, I got a cigarette and I'm doing a tattoo. Whatever. It's like all kinds of funny stuff like that. So I'm like, oh, that's definitely where I'm getting that from. But I would do that a lot and I would do voices in class a lot that were part of my. My speaking out. Got it. Just anything, whatever I. Whatever I wanted to say, it's probably add, but just let it out.
- [15:07]
Danielle Fishel
As long as you've turned it into a career, we're. We're going to keep it. As someone who was on a sitcom as a teen in the 90s, I don't think girls were encouraged enough to focus on their abilities to be funny. Yeah, we have talked a lot about the boys club. That was Boy Meets World in my other podcast. What was it like in high school for you wanting to and expressing that you were funny and that you could have a career in comedy. Did you ever feel either encouraged or discouraged?
- [15:38]
Lauren Lapkus
I felt encouraged. I felt like. But my only kind of north star was snl. I didn't really, like, think, even think about sitcoms or anything. I kind of didn't know how that would ever Happen. I didn't understand how anything was made. Right. So, like I, I read books about SNL and I understood like the whole process for that.
- [15:53]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [15:54]
Lauren Lapkus
So I really wanted that. And so that was always my dream. But I think, you know, it was amazing. Like once I came to LA and kind of understood, like, oh, you can kind of do any, you can be in commercials. Like, things I didn't even get, like that those were actors. Like, I sort of like just didn't think about it past the first, you know, just watching a commercial.
- [16:10]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [16:10]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [16:11]
Danielle Fishel
I love. Oh, first of all, we. It's never too late. You still need to be on snl.
- [16:16]
Lauren Lapkus
Well, I mean, I'd love to host.
- [16:20]
Danielle Fishel
Oh my gosh.
- [16:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Nobody. I tested. I had that experience. I got to go and do the whole thing. So, I mean, I feel like that also like fulfilled a lot of that, that desire, you know, I was like, I got there.
- [16:29]
Danielle Fishel
You got to scratch that itch.
- [16:30]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [16:31]
Danielle Fishel
Can I ask you what that experience is like?
- [16:33]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh my God, it was insane. It was so nerve wracking. I mean, it was the most nervous I've ever been by far. Because it's, it's, it's a dream that I had since I was like 5. So like then to be like, now I'm literally doing that thing. I feel like I was in like complete. Like I was just on autopilot by the time I was actually doing my audition because I had run it so many times in my hotel room. Like, I was just going over and over because I was like, if I mess up, then I'll really.
- [16:55]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, I'm going to kick myself.
- [16:56]
Lauren Lapkus
But like, I was able to like go over it so many times that almost like I don't even know what happened. Like, I remember being there and I remember going on the stage. Like, they have you wait in the dressing room for a long time, which is probably just building process.
- [17:07]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [17:07]
Lauren Lapkus
The anxiety and just going like, can you handle it once you get on stage? I remember being on the stage, which was very cool. I could only see the camera in front of me and I couldn't see the audience. And you get a little bit of a response, but they always say like, no one's gonna laugh. So like you're kind of ready for like tepid laughter. Yeah.
- [17:25]
Danielle Fishel
An occasional cricket.
- [17:27]
Lauren Lapkus
So there was like a little bit of laughter, you know, whatever. And then I left and I was just like, everyone went to get drinks and I was like, I have to go back to my room and just like vomit. Yeah, I don't Even know how many
- [17:36]
Danielle Fishel
do they ask you to just put together characters? How many do they want you to come up?
- [17:40]
Lauren Lapkus
Three minutes of, like. I feel like there's like five characters and two impressions or something. Some version of those numbers. But, yeah, it was.
- [17:47]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember who you did an impression of?
- [17:48]
Lauren Lapkus
I did. Yes, I did. I did one of the hosts of Hoarders. Okay. And they're too niche. And then I did the Maggie. Why can't I remember her name right now? The older woman from a. Harry Potter.
- [18:05]
Danielle Fishel
Oh.
- [18:06]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, Maggie Smith.
- [18:08]
Danielle Fishel
Maggie Smith.
- [18:08]
Boost Mobile Advertiser
Yeah.
- [18:08]
Bowen Yang
Yeah, Smith.
- [18:09]
Lauren Lapkus
We couldn't remember Smith.
- [18:11]
Danielle Fishel
Kai was like, yes, of course, Maggie. Oh, I'll never remember.
- [18:14]
Lauren Lapkus
No, no, Too hard. It's a very hard name.
- [18:17]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [18:18]
Lauren Lapkus
And then a bunch of, like, original things. But it was. It was crazy. I remember we did, like, a. They had me. They flew me to New York to do, like, a showcase with an audience first at the Pit Theater. And the backstage, like, the wooden. You know, back to the stage had, like, a little pinhole in it, and I looked through and could see Lorne Michaels in the audience.
- [18:35]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my gosh.
- [18:35]
Lauren Lapkus
It was like. I was like, there he is.
- [18:37]
Danielle Fishel
There he is through the.
- [18:39]
Lauren Lapkus
That's.
- [18:39]
Danielle Fishel
That's funny. Somebody put that pinhole there to be like. Just sit him right where that hole is. Everyone will see him. It'll really terrorize everyone.
- [18:46]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, it was crazy.
- [18:52]
Danielle Fishel
I know most people are surprised to learn what OCD really is because pop culture has spread the idea that it's just about being super neat and organized, but that's not accurate at all. My husband has O, C, D, and I can tell you it is so much more than that. Real OCD is a serious condition where you get unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts. They're stuck on repeat in your mind, often focusing on people or things we care about, like relationships, identity, or character, making them hard to ignore. And then you feel driven to do certain behaviors called compulsions to try to make the anxiety stop. This obsession and undying desire to make it go away can completely derail you for decades. Jensen ruined his own life and the happiness of those around him purely because he couldn't make the repeated worry go away. But he'd eventually learn it doesn't have to be that way, because OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. Once you get the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy. That's exposure and response prevention, which has proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy isn't recommended and can actually make ocd. Worse, NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in erp therapy with NOCD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans, and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD, you can go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's no c d.com unlock the savings
- [20:35]
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- [21:05]
Bowen Yang
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- [21:41]
Lauren Lapkus
you really buying a car online on Autotrader right now? Really? I can get super specific with dealer listings and see cars based on my budget.
- [21:48]
Danielle Fishel
You can really have a delivery delivered
- [21:50]
Bowen Yang
or pick it up.
- [21:51]
Lauren Lapkus
Kid is walking up the slide.
- [21:53]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [21:53]
Lauren Lapkus
Autotrader Buy your car online?
- [21:55]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [21:57]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Hey everyone, it's Cal Penn, host of Irsay, The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Divergent author Veronica Roth to talk about her sprawling new novel, Seek the Traitor's Son. It's a sci fi fantasy epic about two protagonists on opposite sides of a war and a prophecy neither of them wanted.
- [22:17]
Lauren Lapkus
My first book was Divergent and when that came out, like, because it was so popular, I think it attracted like mostly positivity but the negativity I sucked in like a sponge. And I think it was, like, critiques of things I liked when I was, like. You know, I was 23, and I wrote this book, and it had all my, like, dorky little cheesy or maybe unrealistic loves in it. And I started to feel a lot of shame about those things. And so for the rest of my career, I steered away from those little things that, like, make you feel pleasure when you read. But I also was, like, saying no to these parts of myself that I then was like, screw it.
- [22:58]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [22:59]
Lauren Lapkus
So that's this book.
- [23:01]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Listen to Earsay the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcast.
- [23:15]
Danielle Fishel
Did you have any collections of things as a kid? I don't know why, but I take you as, like, a former collector.
- [23:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God, totally. I had a bunch. I collected everything. I had a pencil. Collection of unique pencils. I.
- [23:27]
Danielle Fishel
What makes a pencil unique? I'm just curious.
- [23:30]
Lauren Lapkus
What makes a pencil unique? A fun topper.
- [23:32]
Danielle Fishel
A topper?
- [23:33]
Lauren Lapkus
A topper. Colorful. You know, anything like that. Okay. I had them in a. In a planter in my room. Like a pot with, like, gravel or something. Then I stuck them all in there. Cute. I had a collection of little rubber animals that are this big, and then I had a display at the library of them during the summer. I.
- [23:52]
Danielle Fishel
You wait, like a showcase? Like an art gallery? You had a gallery showing?
- [23:55]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, they had this little, like, you know, glass, like, box where people could put little displays, and I got my own display. And so of your little rubber animals? Yeah, I stood them all up.
- [24:07]
Danielle Fishel
And where did you get these rubber animals?
- [24:08]
Lauren Lapkus
At the toy store. They were, like, 25 cents. My mom would always let me get one when we would go, like, as. Like, that's the thing you can get. And then I had, like, hundreds. I still have them, and I still have all my collections. I had Beanie Babies. I have a huge box of Beanie Babies. I collected American Girl dolls.
- [24:23]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [24:24]
Lauren Lapkus
I still have all the stuff. And you gave me two American Girl dolls that are now in rotation, which are amazing because they're the Millennial. They're so cute. So good. I had all the stuff I would buy also, like, locally handmade American Girl Doll clothes and. And, like, furniture. There was this store that would sell, like, things that people just made to sell for them. And so I bought. I saved all my money and I saved a hundred dollars and bought a. A handmade bunk bed for my American Girl dolls made by a veteran.
- [24:50]
Danielle Fishel
Wow.
- [24:52]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my gosh.
- [24:53]
Danielle Fishel
You still have it.
- [24:54]
Lauren Lapkus
It's now my kids play with that. But I, I, I took very good care of all my things.
- [24:58]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [24:59]
Lauren Lapkus
And I, like, valued my collections. So, like, everything was, like, really well maintained. And I. It's all still, like, in great condition.
- [25:06]
Danielle Fishel
You and Jensen have that in common. Jensen also babied all of his stuff, but he does have. He is medicated for OCD.
- [25:15]
Lauren Lapkus
I probably. I've honestly gone into this on TikTok, and I'm like. I'm like, it's quite possible.
- [25:19]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. It's quite possible that was a misdiagnosis, perhaps maybe missed diagnosis.
- [25:24]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [25:26]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [25:26]
Lauren Lapkus
There's still time. And I'm still curious. Yeah. But I'm like, this would make sense because I. My shelves were pristine.
- [25:33]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. I mean, his toys, his books are pristine.
- [25:36]
Lauren Lapkus
I have my whole Playmobil collection and all of the pieces. I have my Playmobil dollhouse, which is a mansion. It's beautiful. And my mom's trying to get me to take it, but I'm like, I'm gonna have to ship it. I don't know how to do this,
- [25:47]
Danielle Fishel
but you're gonna need a U Haul.
- [25:49]
Lauren Lapkus
Just drive it just for that. It's like, I don't even have room for this thing, but I do love it. I don't want her to get rid of it.
- [25:53]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
No.
- [25:54]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, you have to keep it on it. I need it, but I also don't know how to get it from you.
- [25:57]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [25:58]
Danielle Fishel
Does it bother you, then? Are your kids also really careful with stuff? Because ours are not. And so Jensen's like, look at this. It's 45 years old from my childhood. And my kids are like, cool.
- [26:08]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And they're like, rip the tag off. I'm like, that tag has been there for 40 years.
- [26:13]
Danielle Fishel
Princess Divini. Baby's gonna pay for your college.
- [26:15]
Lauren Lapkus
Gave me one at one of my shows. I met Princess Diana when I was a kid.
- [26:20]
Danielle Fishel
I'm sorry. You really buried the lead here. Okay. Tell that. And then I want you to know how you met.
- [26:24]
Lauren Lapkus
When I was 10. So I grew up in Evanston, where Northwestern University is. And when I was 10 years old, Princess Diana came to our town to meet with the president. I don't know what they were doing, but she went to, like, some gala or something. And then she came to a street right near mine and was gonna be there. I don't know how we knew. And she got out of the car and we all shook her hand and took pictures. I didn't mean all my pictures were of her. I don't have, like, selfies or anything, because it was just, like, you know, disposable cameras and stuff. We didn't know how to do that.
- [26:51]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
No, no.
- [26:52]
Lauren Lapkus
But. And then I always was like, oh, there must be somewhere on, like, online. Like, there must be some getty image thing of, like, that moment, and someone did find one, but I wasn't in there. But it's, like, a crowd of people. But I was like, I'm sure there's somewhere. But we got to meet her. It was so exciting. My friend and I, like, shook her hand, and then we rode our bike around. Like, we shook her head, like, just screaming, like, forever. It was, like, so cool. She was wearing a mint green, like, suit with a skirt. You know, what do we call that? Skirt suit.
- [27:21]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [27:21]
Lauren Lapkus
And it was, like, with some, I think, like, pearls or gold necklace or something. And she was very, very beautiful. It was amazing. So cool.
- [27:28]
Danielle Fishel
I mean, this is not a positive story, but I remember exactly the moment where I was when I found out she died.
- [27:36]
Lauren Lapkus
Me, too. I remember. Yeah.
- [27:38]
Danielle Fishel
And it was like, I didn't realize how important she had been to me until she was. And then I was like, wait a minute. I can't believe this. It's shocking.
- [27:46]
Lauren Lapkus
I feel like, that age, too, where it's like, you are going like, oh, my God, that could just happen. Like, that's so crazy.
- [27:51]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [27:52]
Lauren Lapkus
It was really shocking. And so. And I remember it was not long after that that that happened. So I remember standing in my TV room watching that on the news, but.
- [28:00]
Danielle Fishel
So someone just gave you a Princess Diana beanie Baby?
- [28:02]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, just the other day. And it has a tag. And, I mean, you know, of course, online, they're listed for, like, thousands of dollars on ebay, but nobody's buying it. Correct.
- [28:09]
Danielle Fishel
I could list this piece of paper for $10,000 if I want it.
- [28:12]
Lauren Lapkus
No, it's just, like, 16,000. I mean, it's not worth that, but.
- [28:15]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [28:15]
Lauren Lapkus
But I'm not letting my kids touch it.
- [28:17]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Good. Okay. Yeah, it's not worth it.
- [28:19]
Lauren Lapkus
They're gonna rip the tag off immediately. Like, it's just like. No, no.
- [28:22]
Danielle Fishel
Not worth it. No, for sure.
- [28:24]
Lauren Lapkus
And I do have ocd. What?
- [28:27]
Danielle Fishel
I have diagnosed you. Yeah. Tell me about your boy situation as a teenager.
- [28:34]
Lauren Lapkus
I. This is, though. That was the hardest part of my life, I would say. That was like, my. My turmoil.
- [28:41]
Danielle Fishel
Teen boys.
- [28:42]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, they're.
- [28:43]
Danielle Fishel
They're pretty.
- [28:44]
Lauren Lapkus
I always pick the worst person to like. So, like. And I. I look back, and I'm like, that must have been, like, self preservation or something. Like, it'll never happen. Like, you pick, like, the most popular or, like, the meanest or just like. Yeah, the dumbest. Always. Always. So anybody who I had a crush on who was aware of it, you're dumb. Mean and stupid.
- [29:04]
Danielle Fishel
Or, like, incredibly good looking.
- [29:06]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, well, like, dumb. But I'm. You're the hottest.
- [29:13]
Danielle Fishel
You were like the hottest guy. You were probably also the dumbest.
- [29:17]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. So I always, like, liked guy. And then I was. I would get obsessed with them.
- [29:21]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [29:22]
Lauren Lapkus
And nothing would happen beyond that. But it was all up here.
- [29:26]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [29:26]
Lauren Lapkus
And then in high school, that continued and I would, like, sometimes drive by their house. You know, that was always a fun activity with friends to go drive by every guy's house that we like or whatever and just see if we can see them through the window.
- [29:39]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah.
- [29:40]
Lauren Lapkus
Just normal stuff.
- [29:41]
Danielle Fishel
Exactly.
- [29:42]
Lauren Lapkus
We didn't have Instagram to stalk people.
- [29:44]
Danielle Fishel
You were looking to take his Wikipedia photo.
- [29:46]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean. Yes. It was like, perfect.
- [29:47]
Danielle Fishel
Blur blurred through a window while he's washing the dishes. Yeah.
- [29:52]
Lauren Lapkus
So that was always cool and very cool of me to do. And then I did get a boyfriend eventually. I had a boyfriend when I was a senior.
- [30:00]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Right around the time you started improv. Yeah.
- [30:03]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. It was all coming together for me. And I finally dated, like, a friend where it was like, I understood, like, oh, you're supposed to pick the person who's, like, who you get along with and you like and you're fine.
- [30:15]
Boost Mobile Advertiser
You.
- [30:15]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, already hang out all the time. And he's cute.
- [30:18]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [30:18]
Lauren Lapkus
That's the person I'm supposed to be like. But I feel like I was always basing it off tv. Like, I watched so much TV that it was totally embedded. Like, those sort of things where it's like you pine for this person and maybe they'll like you and that's how you date them. And like, I don't know. So I was always doing something, like trying to get on the phone with somebody. Tell me. Embarrassing. There's a lot of embarrassing stories where, like, there was a guy from my math class where I was like, I don't know how I ended up getting. We exchanged numbers or something. And then, like, I called him and it was super awkward. This was like. And I was a sophomore and it was. I was like, do you play soccer? Like, I don't know what I was saying.
- [30:54]
Danielle Fishel
Did you think he played soccer? He was in a rock.
- [30:56]
Lauren Lapkus
I think I was like, how? Soccer. Or like something, you know?
- [30:58]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [30:58]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay. But then I heard People laughing in the background where I actually think it was somebody I knew who was there too. But yeah, stuff like that. Brutal. Brutal.
- [31:07]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember having to talk to parents first before?
- [31:10]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, yes. Having to call and ask.
- [31:12]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [31:13]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God. I remember calling for somebody and being like. And then they were like, he's at home. And I was like, okay,
- [31:20]
Danielle Fishel
I'll just call back later.
- [31:22]
Lauren Lapkus
I once left a note on a guy's car. This was like. So we. My friends and I would do something that we thought was really cute, which was, like. Which is kind of cute. We'd leave flowers on strangers cars. It was, like, the thing to do. And then I would leave notes sometimes. So I left a note on his car asking to, like, go watch the fireworks together for 4th of July or something. And then I learned he was out of town for, like, the thing.
- [31:41]
Danielle Fishel
Whole middle summer. He's like, I'm in the Hamptons.
- [31:44]
Lauren Lapkus
It was, like, soaking wet and, like, disintegrating. And I was like, he's never gonna call me. Really sad. Lame.
- [31:52]
Danielle Fishel
Did you go to school dances?
- [31:53]
Lauren Lapkus
Yes. Oh, my God. I went to all of them. Torture. I mean, so middle school. I went to all the dances, which were awful. I think we had. Oh, my God.
- [32:01]
Danielle Fishel
Did we have middle school dances? And I just don't remember. Busy. I don't know.
- [32:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, you might have been working. Like, I feel like. Like, we were. I had my limited two outfits. Oh, I loved limited to purple velour bell bottoms.
- [32:14]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, velour bell bottoms.
- [32:19]
Lauren Lapkus
I had, like, real. What I thought were really cool, like, shiny, like, pleather sneakers that were like. What's airwalks or something? Those were so.
- [32:27]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. I call those puffy shoes.
- [32:29]
Lauren Lapkus
Those were. Yes. And they had, like, a star on the side or something.
- [32:32]
Bowen Yang
I love those.
- [32:34]
Lauren Lapkus
I always. Yeah. I love my limited two stuff. And I would stand there and just stand there.
- [32:40]
Danielle Fishel
Did you go with friends or did your parents drop you off alone?
- [32:42]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, we would go together, I think. Or get dropped off. A couple of us at the same time.
- [32:46]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [32:46]
Lauren Lapkus
And then, you know, everyone's grinding the Usher. And it didn't happen for me at that point. I don't think any. I don't think I danced really at all at that time. High school, though. I was fully dancing. It was fully happening.
- [32:58]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [32:58]
Lauren Lapkus
That we would all be grinding all over.
- [33:01]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, that's. That's it.
- [33:02]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, it's. It's sick. Honestly.
- [33:04]
Danielle Fishel
Honestly. It's repulsive when you think about it. I know. Yeah. Huh. Yeah.
- [33:10]
Lauren Lapkus
But I have a lot of memories of that And I remember once going to like a. I went to a club with my friend. This was so out of character for me, but my friend wanted to go to like a teen night at like a local club. Okay. And we went and it was so gross. I. I was like dancing with like, who knows who I was dancing with. But I think back to that and I was like, that was disgusting.
- [33:29]
Boost Mobile Advertiser
Do.
- [33:29]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Why do we. Why are there so few rules about who you're gonna grind with on a dance floor?
- [33:35]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
I know.
- [33:35]
Lauren Lapkus
And there's only one way to do it. You know, I mean, there's a few ways, I guess, but like it's. You're touching that closely.
- [33:41]
Danielle Fishel
Very closely. Also, I feel so, like, I think about the adults that have to be nearby. Cause we could. And I'm like, I would just as the adult. How is every adult not just going
- [33:53]
Lauren Lapkus
like, oh my God, you guys are so embarrassing.
- [33:55]
Danielle Fishel
I just want you to know this is cringe.
- [33:56]
Lauren Lapkus
I know. And the dancing at my school was like super hardcore. Like, it was like, I mean, sweaty, crazy dance. Bent over fully. I mean. And I was there doing.
- [34:06]
Danielle Fishel
I was one of them.
- [34:07]
Lauren Lapkus
Did that. Yeah.
- [34:10]
Danielle Fishel
Just. I think it's just. You have to do it.
- [34:12]
Lauren Lapkus
You have to.
- [34:13]
Danielle Fishel
You have to.
- [34:13]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And pro. I went to prom. I went to two proms. I went to my junior year. My friend. This is what we've talked about a little bit. My friend who came out as gay to me like one second before and I was like crying cuz I like had a crush on it. But he was my friend. Like, whatever. But. But he invited me to go to his senior prom when I was a junior because we were all part of the same group.
- [34:29]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [34:29]
Lauren Lapkus
And the best picture from that prom is me with my arm around his jacket on the chair because he was like so social and like doing it. I was just like, here we are. My date. But that was really fun. And then my senior year was. That was a great time. I had fun at prom.
- [34:44]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [34:44]
Lauren Lapkus
But. Yeah.
- [34:45]
Danielle Fishel
Do you remember the theme?
- [34:46]
Lauren Lapkus
I don't know that we had a. Maybe we did, but I think it was just kind of like a phrase, not like a decoration thing. And then we went to. It was at Navy Pier in Chicago, which is a. I don't know, big like crazy ballroom kind of place. Okay. And then we went to a cabin in the woods and. Oh, you know, did things.
- [35:04]
Danielle Fishel
A cabin in the woods. No, see, we all. We had hotels. We had like a hotel room that
- [35:09]
Lauren Lapkus
would never have happened.
- [35:10]
Danielle Fishel
Right. But a cabin.
- [35:11]
Lauren Lapkus
No, that's worse. A cabin's worse, for sure. But, like, I don't know. My parents. I don't think we ever could have gone to a hotel that would have seemed like you were just going to have sex.
- [35:19]
Danielle Fishel
Well, yeah. I mean, I'm pretty sure that's all anyone was doing or wanted to do. But there were, like, a couple of people that rented a big room. You know, like, everyone will go back and hang out in this hotel room, and then those of us who were 18 could get, like, some people had rooms, and then it would just be like, well, we're gonna stay here. But, yeah. I mean, I would never, ever. Good luck. I can't wait for my. I can't wait to say no to that.
- [35:46]
Lauren Lapkus
I can't wait. I mean, you just know what's going on. Like, it's insane.
- [35:50]
Danielle Fishel
Just a crazy thing to do. But I do also remember being like, but I'm 18.
- [35:54]
Lauren Lapkus
You think. You think you're such an adult. I mean, it felt that way for sure. It felt like we were. I mean, and I was just back at my high school giving the commencement speech, and I saw all the kids, and I was like, they're all. They're all so young. I mean, it's. It's amazing. But, like, it's also showing me that I'm getting older. But, like, that feeling when you can see the difference where you're like, oh, my God, you're 18. Like, that's so young.
- [36:14]
Danielle Fishel
Yep.
- [36:15]
Lauren Lapkus
You have your whole life ahead of you. Like, it's full life.
- [36:17]
Danielle Fishel
Crazy. So much life.
- [36:19]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [36:20]
Danielle Fishel
Were you always tall? And I asked this question not to single you out.
- [36:24]
Lauren Lapkus
I love that, and I love the segue.
- [36:25]
Danielle Fishel
Well, yeah, it came out of nowhere. But I want to know what it was like, because I am.
- [36:30]
Lauren Lapkus
I'm thinking that's a hard thing.
- [36:31]
Danielle Fishel
I am the size of, like, a build A bear.
- [36:33]
Lauren Lapkus
No.
- [36:33]
Danielle Fishel
And that's great.
- [36:34]
Lauren Lapkus
That's great. That's, in many ways, would have been my dream. Yeah. But I was always tall. I remember in, like, middle school, there was another tall girl, and we would see who was taller. And we were five, seven. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We would stand. We would always. After school, we would go to Great Harvest Bread Company, which is just, like, a bread place, and we would get. They would put bags of bread that was all, like, ripped up and, like. And we would all eat it. So we would all stand there.
- [37:00]
Danielle Fishel
What are you talking about? They would put it where? On your table and. What do you mean? We would all just eat it. You're right.
- [37:06]
Lauren Lapkus
There's A lot of details left out. So it was like a kind of place where there were no tables. You just like walk in and order something. Like, I don't know if they had sandwiches. I never knew because I only ate ripped up bread from there. Right. Okay. So like, all the middle schoolers would, like, line up, up and they'd put a big brown paper bag from the grocery store full of like, chopped up, like, probably day old bread. And then we'd all get butter on it and we'd stand over and eat that for free.
- [37:28]
Danielle Fishel
I don't know why they're feeding horses.
- [37:31]
Lauren Lapkus
It was so random. I don't know why, but it was great. Okay.
- [37:35]
Danielle Fishel
It sounds amazing.
- [37:36]
Lauren Lapkus
And my friend and I would stand back to back and people would see who's taller. And I. So I did, like, slouch a lot. I feel like I. When actually, when I started improv classes, the teacher had us all walk like each other. Like, it was sort of like an exercise, like an acting exercise. And everyone led with their pelvis when they did. And I was like, oh, I walk like that because I'm like, trying to slouch.
- [37:56]
Danielle Fishel
You're like, I see myself.
- [37:57]
Lauren Lapkus
I'm learning. I'm still.
- [37:59]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [38:00]
Lauren Lapkus
Young enough that this means something to me. Right. But yeah, no, I got to be 5, 10 when I was a sophomore.
- [38:05]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my.
- [38:06]
Lauren Lapkus
So there was like a quick growth from like 8th grade to like sophomore year.
- [38:09]
Boost Mobile Advertiser
Right.
- [38:09]
Danielle Fishel
Your parents tall?
- [38:10]
Lauren Lapkus
My dad is six, five and a half and my mom is five, two, five, three. Yeah.
- [38:15]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, my gosh. Okay. Wow, your dad is really carrying those. Those jeans there. Did. Did you ever try to pivot from being the funny, class clown, comedian type to playing basketball?
- [38:30]
Lauren Lapkus
I did. Not in school, though. I did that as an adult, which was not good. Not good. No, it was fun. But it was like. So there's this moment in time where, like, all the women in comedy were starting. They started a basketball league. We took over, like, the local la, like, rec center league. And there were like all these teams of comedians playing basketball, which was insane. And I joined it because everyone was.
- [38:54]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [38:54]
Lauren Lapkus
And I kind of always thought I did play basketball in fifth grade and, like, I could hit three pointers in like, a elementary school gym. I don't know what that means, but sounds impressive. That was the only thing I could do.
- [39:02]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [39:03]
Lauren Lapkus
My dad was my coach and he was very involved, but the Tiger woods father style.
- [39:09]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [39:09]
Danielle Fishel
Like Venus and Serena.
- [39:11]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. He stopped, I guess, caring at a certain point because it never went any further. But when I was like an Adult. Like, we started doing this, and then I got my wisdom teeth out as an adult when I was like, 26 or something. And they told me that my jaw was so thin, like, the bone that if I got from my teeth growing into it, like, my wisdom teeth, like, eroded away or something. If I got hit in the face with a ball, I could break my jaw. And I already had been hit in the face with the ball because we had one, like, pro, like, college level, at least, like, player on our team who did a no look pass to me that went just straight to my face.
- [39:45]
Danielle Fishel
You didn't know you were supposed to be looking?
- [39:47]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, I'm like, it's no look.
- [39:48]
Danielle Fishel
I was looking.
- [39:53]
Lauren Lapkus
That was humiliating. And I was an adult, so no. No sports. And me in high school. No, it never happened. There was no part of me that thought I should do that. And. Okay, we had gym that was, like, very, like. We had a very involved gym class.
- [40:05]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [40:05]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, we did everything, including, like, roller skating. I don't know if that's normal at all.
- [40:09]
Danielle Fishel
I don't think.
- [40:09]
Lauren Lapkus
So we did that. We had a pool, which. I can't swim. Like, there's a lot of, like, bad.
- [40:13]
Danielle Fishel
You can't swim?
- [40:14]
Lauren Lapkus
Not well. I can survive.
- [40:16]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [40:16]
Lauren Lapkus
And I'm. I can enjoy myself now. And I can.
- [40:19]
Danielle Fishel
As long as your feet can touch.
- [40:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, that's ideal.
- [40:22]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [40:22]
Lauren Lapkus
I can also float. I'm fine.
- [40:23]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Okay.
- [40:23]
Lauren Lapkus
I can tread water.
- [40:24]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [40:25]
Lauren Lapkus
But in high school, I couldn't at all. And it was the. The. On the first. I was, like, dreading this forever. I knew we had a pool. I knew I would have to take swim lessons or not swim lessons. Just swim in front of boys. It was like, co ed bathing suit. Awful. I think about all of that, and I'm like, that's. That should have been separated at least, because that's half the problem is that you're standing in front of your, like, peers in your bathing suit. Like. Oh.
- [40:47]
Danielle Fishel
But like, a slightly deeper question. Why are bathing suits for men and women so drastically different?
- [40:53]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. Can we have shorts?
- [40:55]
Danielle Fishel
Why can't we just. Why can't we have baggy shorts?
- [40:57]
Lauren Lapkus
Right?
- [40:58]
Danielle Fishel
Why are we. From the very beginning, just like, well, you're gonna be near water, so you
- [41:02]
Lauren Lapkus
have to have vagina. Yeah.
- [41:03]
Danielle Fishel
Your whole vagina has to be out. And now also, if you're not wearing
- [41:07]
Lauren Lapkus
a thong, oh, my God.
- [41:08]
Danielle Fishel
Just put a sign on you that says, I'm old and out of it.
- [41:10]
Lauren Lapkus
I'm literally a hundred. I'm like, I'm covering my butt. I Don't. I don't know. I know I'm not. I'm just not doing it. But I support everyone who is and they look great.
- [41:19]
Danielle Fishel
They all look amazing.
- [41:20]
Lauren Lapkus
No, I don't know how they're getting their butt so taut and smooth and shiny. Their skin's perfect on their ass. I don't know how they're doing full
- [41:27]
Danielle Fishel
body laser hair removal maybe. I don't know what's going on. But also I think about like my 6 and 4 year old son, who my 6 year old will be at the beach and he's like, mommy, look at that lady's butt. And I'm like, yeah, there it is.
- [41:41]
Lauren Lapkus
I know, it's a butt. It's a butt.
- [41:43]
Danielle Fishel
It looks great.
- [41:43]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, looks.
- [41:44]
Danielle Fishel
Looks good.
- [41:45]
Lauren Lapkus
Quite taut. No. But then on the first day of swimming, so I remember crying to my mom about this, like when I was like a freshman in high school. And she would always say, like, do you want me to write you a note, get you out of it?
- [41:55]
Danielle Fishel
And I always said, no, that's a good mom.
- [41:57]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. But I would say no. But I don't know, I guess I just felt like I had to do it right. And on the first day I jumped off the diving board. I'd never done that in my life. And it's really dangerous when you think about it, because I don't know what was going to happen. But I had read this book when I was a little.
- [42:11]
Danielle Fishel
I can't wait to see where this goes. You had read a book that made you feel confident? Okay.
- [42:17]
Lauren Lapkus
Yes, it was. There was a series of books in like elementary school that I read about this girl named Alice. They're like the Alice books. I don't know, I've never looked them up since then. But she couldn't swim and she had to learn how to swim. And it was like she, she said to pop yourself up like a cork, like a corkscrew or whatever.
- [42:34]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [42:34]
Lauren Lapkus
And so that just always stuck in my head as someone who was afraid of swimming. So I. It was there that day and I did it and I. And I passed. Like no one thought I couldn't swim. And then I was doing everything with everyone the whole time. I don't even know. Like, I, like we had pretended to swim. Yeah.
- [42:51]
Danielle Fishel
So maybe we had to do know how to swim.
- [42:54]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, maybe I'm bad at going underwater. I do panic.
- [42:57]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [42:57]
Lauren Lapkus
It makes me really stressed. But I want to take lessons. But I'm like scared of that too. Like just the vulnerability in front of like somebody.
- [43:04]
Danielle Fishel
Why don't you do Mommy and Me classes?
- [43:06]
Lauren Lapkus
Because I'll be the one crying. Like, your daughters will be like, mom. Mike always does it. My husband always does it. Because he's a. He was, like, a swimmer.
- [43:14]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [43:14]
Lauren Lapkus
And he's very comfortable.
- [43:15]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [43:16]
Lauren Lapkus
So I'm afraid that if they want us. If they want me to, like, put her under, I'm gonna, like, feel.
- [43:19]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [43:19]
Lauren Lapkus
The anxiety.
- [43:20]
Danielle Fishel
Well, now that I know Mike's such a good swimmer. Mike should teach you to swim.
- [43:24]
Lauren Lapkus
He's tried.
- [43:24]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. Okay.
- [43:25]
Lauren Lapkus
No, we've tried.
- [43:25]
Danielle Fishel
No, but if I had a pool,
- [43:26]
Lauren Lapkus
this is my goal. It's like, have a pool someday so that I can actually practice regularly.
- [43:30]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah. And in the privacy, you can panic
- [43:32]
Lauren Lapkus
in your own backyard. Yeah, I want to panic privately. I don't want to be, like, in some public train.
- [43:36]
Danielle Fishel
That's really the dream.
- [43:36]
Lauren Lapkus
No. And I have a few friends who also can't swim, coincidentally, who want to take lessons. So we've talked about this before. It was our goal last year, and we all were all afraid, so we didn't do it.
- [43:44]
Danielle Fishel
Right. You're like, we're gonna do it. Which one of us is actually gonna pull the trigger? Yeah.
- [43:49]
Lauren Lapkus
Someone has to make it happen.
- [43:52]
Danielle Fishel
You have mentioned that you were raised in Evanston, right?
- [43:54]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah.
- [43:55]
Danielle Fishel
Did you ever think of trying to convince your parents to let you come to LA for pilot season or to move out here?
- [44:01]
Lauren Lapkus
You did not know about it. You did not even know anything about it. I really. I was totally ignorant to, like, how anything worked like that, and also was so focused on my, like, sketch comedy dream that, like, it just didn't even dawn on me to, like, try that.
- [44:16]
Danielle Fishel
Right.
- [44:16]
Lauren Lapkus
But I think it was good because I feel like my improv, like, experience and taking those classes and performing on stage was so much of how I became an actor. Like, I think I didn't really have anything to take to LA at that point.
- [44:29]
Danielle Fishel
Right, right. What was I taking? I'm tall, cute, normal.
- [44:35]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. I want it.
- [44:36]
Danielle Fishel
I want it very badly.
- [44:37]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [44:38]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, exactly.
- [44:45]
Danielle Fishel
I know most people are surprised to learn what OCD really is because pop culture has spread the idea that it's just about being super neat and organized, but that's not accurate at all. My husband has ocd, and I can tell you it is so much more than that. Real OCD is a serious condition where you get unwanted, distressing thoughts called intrusive thoughts. They're stuck on repeat in your mind, often focusing on people or things we care about, like relationships, identity, or character, making them hard to ignore. And then you feel driven to do certain behaviors called compulsions to try to make the anxiety stop. This obsession and undying desire to make it go away can completely derail you for decades. Jensen ruined his own life and the happiness of those around him purely because he couldn't make the repeated worry go away. But he'd eventually learn it doesn't have to be that way because OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions. Once you get the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs ERP therapy. That's exposure and response prevention, which has proven to be the most effective treatment. Regular talk therapy isn't recommended and can actually make OCD worse. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone. To learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD, go to nocd.com and book a free call with their team. That's no C d dot com. You're locked into a lot of things
- [46:28]
Lauren Lapkus
you can't change weather, traffic.
- [46:30]
Danielle Fishel
Hey, stay in your lane.
- [46:32]
Lauren Lapkus
Your wireless carrier's latest price hike. But you can unlock a better way. Unlock the savings at Boost Mobile and save up to $600 a year. Switch to the $25 a month unlimited wireless plan. No contracts, no price hikes and you keep your phone. Stop being locked into their games. Unlock the savings@boostmobile.com unlock based on average annual single line of payment of AT&T Verizon and T Mobile customers compared to 12 months on the Boost Mobile Unlimited
- [46:53]
Danielle Fishel
Wireless plan as of January 2026.
- [46:55]
Lauren Lapkus
For full offer details, visit boostmobile.com this
- [46:57]
Bowen Yang
is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture Research with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can feel impossible. That's why Premier protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life. The 30 grams of protein gives you the fuel you need. It's not just for intense gym sessions, it's just for life. With the wide variety of flavors from cafe latte to cake batter, it never feels boring. There's a flavor for everyone. I personally love the peaches and cream, but maybe you're A root beer floater, cinnamon roll kind of person. Premier Protein empowers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite flavor@premierprotein.com that's P R E M I E R protein dot com. Or at Amazon, Walmart and other major retailers.
- [47:56]
Lauren Lapkus
Are you really buying a car online on autotrader right now? Really? At a playground?
- [48:00]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, really?
- [48:01]
Lauren Lapkus
Look at these listings from dealers. Wow, your search can really get that specific. Really?
- [48:06]
Danielle Fishel
And you just put in your info
- [48:07]
Lauren Lapkus
and boom, Cars in your budget. Mom needs a second. Honey, you can really have it delivered. Really? Or I can pick it up at the dealership. One sec, sweetie. Mommy's buying a car.
- [48:18]
Danielle Fishel
Mommy, I think your kid is walking up the slide. Kyle.
- [48:21]
Lauren Lapkus
Again? Really?
- [48:23]
Danielle Fishel
Autotrader.
- [48:23]
Lauren Lapkus
Buy your car online?
- [48:25]
Danielle Fishel
Really?
- [48:27]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Hey, everyone, it's Kalpen, host of Irsay The Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club. This week on the podcast, I'm sitting down with Wil Wheaton, who played Gordie Lachance in stand by me 40 years ago and now narrates Stephen King's the Body, the novella that inspired it all. We talk about what it's like to return to a story that shaped his life, channeling his memories of River Phoenix in the recording booth, and why the friendships you have at 12 might be the most important ones you'll ever have. I know Gordie Lachance. I am Gordy Lachance.
- [49:01]
Lauren Lapkus
Like, I mean, even when I was
- [49:03]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
a little kid, I was Gordy Lachance
- [49:04]
Bowen Yang
when I didn't know it.
- [49:06]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Listen to Earsay, the Audible and iHeart Audiobook Club on the iHeartradio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [49:20]
Danielle Fishel
Who were some of your biggest teenage crushes? I wanna hear about, like, the JTTs, the writers. Yeah, but. But, like, mine was David Letterman.
- [49:30]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that.
- [49:32]
Danielle Fishel
I carried around a picture of him in my wallet. Oh, I just.
- [49:36]
Lauren Lapkus
Have you met him?
- [49:37]
Danielle Fishel
I've never met him.
- [49:37]
Lauren Lapkus
Oh, my God.
- [49:38]
Danielle Fishel
No, I know. I know. The. I don't even think I want to. I can't.
- [49:41]
Lauren Lapkus
I know. I understand that you never want to meet them. Some people I've met, and I'm like, I just wish that ever happened. Like, it just, like, not even. Like they did something wrong, but it's like the fantasy or the way that I feel.
- [49:50]
Danielle Fishel
He feels untouchable to me. Like. Like a person that. That's just on another level.
- [49:55]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah. Yeah, That's a good one.
- [49:57]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah.
- [49:57]
Lauren Lapkus
Mine. I would say one. The first one that comes to mind is Matthew Lillard, who I Did work with. On Good Girls and so I never. I didn't tell him that. But he'll probably see this.
- [50:05]
Danielle Fishel
He's probably. Yeah, he'll probably know about it now. Why wouldn't you tell him? Just because you feel like. Is it weird to say? I don't know.
- [50:10]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
I.
- [50:10]
Lauren Lapkus
Scream was my favorite movie in middle school, which I also think is, like an annoying thing to say to an older person. Like, Scream is my favorite movie in middle school. Like, it sounds.
- [50:17]
Danielle Fishel
You could leave that part out. As someone who often hears, I was. I was born the year Boy Meets World started. I'm like, we don't. I don't need to know everything.
- [50:25]
Lauren Lapkus
Act. How about you liked it?
- [50:28]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Yeah.
- [50:29]
Lauren Lapkus
No, but he was one. And I love that movie so much. And I still love it. It's like one of the best horror movies ever. And just one of the best movies. And who. So who else? JTT was one. And he. There was one point where a car was parked in front of my house that had the license plate jtt and I was convinced it was his car.
- [50:50]
Danielle Fishel
Right. Because that's what he'd want to draw attention to. Yeah. Just everywhere he goes, people to know.
- [50:54]
Bowen Yang
Yeah.
- [50:54]
Lauren Lapkus
But you know. You know what's sort of funny? I. Look was this point in seventh grade where my friend wanted to make Crush books. And we did, and we made. We cut out picture. We, like, printed online. Like pictures of everybody we liked.
- [51:07]
Danielle Fishel
Okay.
- [51:08]
Lauren Lapkus
And then we put it into a book. And I felt like I was faking it.
- [51:11]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, really?
- [51:11]
Lauren Lapkus
Yeah, Like, I kind of was. Like, I don't care. Like, I just don't know that I really cared.
- [51:16]
Danielle Fishel
Right. Right. And how old were you at that time?
- [51:18]
Lauren Lapkus
Seventh grade. Like, I was like. I was kind of like, I'm. I'll make it. I put in like a bunch of cute people. And then I. I still have it. Of course. I haven't thrown any papers out.
- [51:28]
Danielle Fishel
You are such a. Yeah, you're. You're a mix of Jensen and Will.
- [51:32]
Lauren Lapkus
Will forgive.
- [51:32]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, he never gets rid of anything either.
- [51:34]
Lauren Lapkus
I. You know, I get rid of stuff now and then. I'm sort of like, later. Me might want this stuff. But, like, I have all my childhood stuff, but I made. I put mosaic tiles around every picture. We like glued little tiles. I put like Prince William. He was kind of one that we talked about a lot.
- [51:49]
Danielle Fishel
Oh, yeah. And with your history with Princess Diana, it seems like destined.
- [51:53]
Lauren Lapkus
I mean, I was right there. It could happen.
- [51:56]
Danielle Fishel
Could absolutely happen. You strike me as being a rule follower, but I do wanna know what's the most trouble you ever got into as a teen?
- [52:07]
Lauren Lapkus
Okay, there are a couple things that come to mind. One is that this wasn't really trouble, but I feel guilty about it, which is that when I was a junior in high school, I was supposed to babysit for my neighbor. And then I got invited to a party that my crush was gonna be at. I just, at the last second, I left them an answering machine message that I wasn't coming.
- [52:26]
Danielle Fishel
Oh.
- [52:27]
Lauren Lapkus
And I just went to the party and I felt so bad I didn't get in trouble and. But they never had me babysit again. But also, that's fine. It was just like, I always kind of go, like, they probably think I'm bad for that. That's not true. Who cares? I know I was a teenager. Like, of course I made that choice.
- [52:42]
Danielle Fishel
Exactly.
- [52:43]
Lauren Lapkus
That's what I should have done. And it was great.
- [52:45]
Danielle Fishel
And I'm glad you made teenage Lauren deserved that.
- [52:48]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
But.
- [52:48]
Danielle Fishel
Yeah, but as those parents, I would be. That would be not cool.
- [52:54]
Lauren Lapkus
Apparent now when people flake on me, I'm like, you suck.
- [52:57]
Danielle Fishel
There is so much more with Lauren Lapkis this Friday for a bonus episode on the dedicated Teen Beat feed. All you have to do is search for Teen Beat wherever you get your podcasts and subscribe. That way. Every new episode is sent directly to your phone or Sidekick or portable DVD player. Whatever you listen to shows on, you are guaranteed to see it, and I want to hear from you. Send us a voice memo in the one to two minute range telling us all about your most embarrassing childhood memories. Email it to teenbeatpodmail.com and you might just hear it on the show. And make sure to check out Lauren Lapkis on Stuart Fails to Save the Universe on HBO Max starting July 23rd. Teen Beat is an Iheart podcast produced and hosted by Danielle Fishel, executive producers Jensen Karp and Amy Sugarman, executive in charge of production Danielle Romo, producer and editor Tara Sudbaksh. The theme song is by Mark Hothis. You. Yes, that Mark Hoppas. Follow us on Instagram. Teenbeatpod
- [53:56]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
Running a business shouldn't feel like surviving a software group project. One app for accounting, another for inventory, another for sales, and somehow none of them talk to each other. That's where Odoo comes in. An all in one business management software that brings every part of your business together, from sales and accounting to inventory and marketing. All in one powerful platform. No messy integrations, no bouncing between tabs, and best of all, no spreadsheets. Stop managing software and start managing your business with one unified system. Try for free today at odoo.com iheartradio that's O-O-O-O.com iheartradio this is Bowen Yang
- [54:39]
Bowen Yang
from Lost Culture Resource with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. We all know the feeling when life gets really busy. Taking care of yourself can impossible. That's why Premier Protein shakes are my go to. They have 30 grams of protein, 160 calories, no added sugar, and they taste amazing. So they're a healthy choice you'll actually want to make. It's not just for fitness, it's for getting after life. Premier Protein powers me to say yes to more. Find your favorite flavor@premierprotein.com that's P R E M I E R protein.com hey
- [55:16]
Kalpen (Kal Penn)
everyone, it's Kel Penn. I'm inviting you to join the best sounding book club you've ever heard with my podcast, Hearsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Club. Every episode I nerd out with amazing guests and dive into the best new audiobooks available on Audible. It's the book club for your ears. Listen to Earsay, the Audible and I Heart Audiobook Book Club on the iHeartRadio app or wherever you get your podcasts.
- [55:45]
Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
Maximum Balance fee Banking fees are just
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Danielle Fishel
a part of modern life. Or are they? They're not at Ally Bank.
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Lauren Lapkus
At Ally bank, there are no tricks,
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
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Danielle Fishel
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Lauren Lapkus
Banking built for life today. Learn more@ally.com Ally bank member FDIC Paramount
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Kalpen (Kal Penn)
What?
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Lauren Lapkus
Yes.
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Danielle Fishel
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Bowen Yang
Not now.
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Danielle Fishel
Just make sure we protect each other.
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Lauren Lapkus
Welcome to the history books.
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Danielle Fishel
New home, same family.
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Bowen Yang
Subscribe now.
- [56:46]
Lauren Lapkus
This is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.