Danny Jones Podcast #353 – Doomsday Cult Leader: Children of God, Sexual Evangelism & Having 17 Kids | Ray Connolly

Date: December 5, 2025
Host: Danny Jones | QCODE
Guest: Ray Connolly

Overview

In this gripping and intense episode, Danny Jones interviews Ray Connolly, a former high-level leader in the notorious Children of God cult (also known as “The Family”) and father to 17 children. The conversation delves into Ray’s personal journey into and out of a cult characterized by global evangelism, communal living, sexual exploitation, and abusive indoctrination. Ray openly dissects the evolution of the cult’s practices, the impact on his massive family, his struggle with guilt and forgiveness, and how his faith has endured despite everything.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ray’s Introduction to the Children of God (CoG)

• Initial Attraction (01:10–17:00):
  • Ray described joining the group as a 19-year-old hippie searching for spiritual truth during the tumultuous era of the early 1970s.
  • He was originally drawn to the group’s communal, faith-driven lifestyle and the zeal of its young members, who lived simply, studied scripture intensively, and evangelized on the streets.
• Cult Experience Begins (12:08):
  • “I ran back, grabbed my knapsack at my friend's place and jumped on the bus and rode to LA. And then I found out what it was, the children of God.” – Ray (12:08)
• Indoctrination Techniques:
  • The group utilized a mixture of love-bombing (intense communal love and singing), immediate separation from outside influences, emotional pressure to “commit everything,” and strict communal rituals.

2. Structure and Core Beliefs of the Cult

• Authority and Control (21:33–23:40):
  • From bootcamp-style training in Texas to two-by-two monitoring and nightly worship, the cult ensured a highly regulated existence, with personal belongings surrendered and lives closely interwoven.
  • “You had to submit like a guy going in the army. You know, you have to let go of your old personality and become the new...Person that you are in your new calling.” – Ray (22:38)
• David Berg’s Leadership (24:07–28:01):
  • Founder David Berg’s complex, troubled sexual upbringing fueled his later doctrines and abuses. Over time, he shifted from charismatic spiritual leader to megalomaniacal controller who encouraged increasingly extreme practices.

3. The Descent Into Abuse: Sexual "Evangelism"

• Flirty Fishing & Sexual Doctrine (44:53–47:00):
  • Berg and his close circle rolled out “Flirty Fishing,” instructing women to use sex as a means of recruitment and support.
  • “He got the bright idea that, you know, maybe we should use our sexual energy and attractiveness to the public as a way of gaining recruits. Show them the love of God in a physical way, like you would feed them or take care of them if they're wounded...” – Ray (44:53)
• Normalization of Abuse & Stepwise Corruption (46:39–49:00):
  • “...it was probably six or seven years in the group before that stuff started happening.” – Ray (41:05)
  • Over several years, doctrine drifted from prudishness to sexual “liberation”—resulting in institutionalized exploitation, arranged marriages, and, eventually, sanctioned sexual activity with minors.

4. Life Inside as a Family: Ray’s 17 Children

• Marriage and Family in the Cult (32:18–40:44):
  • Ray describes arranged or “betrothed” marriages as a requirement for advancement.
  • His family—initially strictly regulated (no premarital sex, arranged unions)—was later swept into the cult’s radical “law of love.” He ended up with two wives and 17 children.
• Children’s Experience (55:53–59:29):
  • “We started sending our newsletter...to other folks around the world. And...we were performing in Cairo...The kids enjoyed it to a certain extent, but it was also Child labor.” – Ray (57:35)
  • His children became performers and fundraisers, received minimal education, and were swept into the tumultuous, itinerant cult lifestyle.

5. Abuse and Aftermath

• Child Sexual Abuse (64:05–68:42):
  • Ray acknowledges the widespread, secret, and then open promotion of sexual activity with minors within the group, at the direction of Berg and his inner circle.
  • He describes the dual reality: open publications detailing abuse that no one “outside” would ever see, internal secrecy, and the immense psychological pressure on parents and children alike.
  • “I was not a part of—I never had sex with a child or anyone underage at all. But it's a miracle. Honestly, it's very hard to imagine how I escaped…” – Ray (66:36)
• Complicity, Regret, and Recovery:
  • Ray breaks down the psychology that led believing, mostly “good-hearted” adults to go along with, rationalize, or turn a blind eye to horrific acts.
  • “I have to take full responsibility for everything I did, you know...you have to unpack all that, repent and forgive yourself. You have to be willing to change, admit what happened, see it as wrong...” – Ray (81:01–82:42)

6. Leaving the Cult: Breaking Free and Rebuilding

• Straw that Broke the Camel’s Back (70:12):
  • Increasingly insane rules, widespread paranoia, and the clear harm done to his children prompted Ray and his wife to finally risk cutting ties—knowing it meant losing all social, financial, and spiritual support, and likely his family.
• Aftermath: Trauma, Loss, and Healing (77:06–80:45):
  • Ray shares tragedies and ongoing challenges faced by his children, including deaths and mental health struggles.
  • “My kids are remarkable in the way they've...struggled through the issues of their upbringing and found a way that they have certain strengths of character and of resilience that not too many people do.” – Ray (68:29)

7. Faith, Doubt, and Deconstruction

• Surviving Spiritually (103:44–108:12):
  • Despite the darkness, Ray remains a (now open-minded) Christian, open to the wisdom of other faiths and ongoing self-examination.
  • He discusses the value he finds in the Gospels, the complexity of faith versus doctrine, and his critique of contemporary movements that politicize Christianity.

8. Child Protection, Law Enforcement, and Global Movement

• Evasion of Authorities (96:39–98:22):
  • The cult’s global mobility, name-changes, and training children to “deceive the authorities” shielded many abusers from prosecution.
• Leaving and Starting Over (98:22–101:28):
  • Ray describes his wife joining him after years, multiple attempts by group leadership to “retrain” him, and how slowly but surely all his family eventually left.

9. Cults, Mind Control, and Trauma

• Unlearning Cult Psychology (132:23–142:07):
  • Ray speaks about his involvement in deprogramming, helping ex-members, and the universality of coercion, trauma, and manipulation—even in wider society, not just cults.
  • “Nobody ever joins a cult. You know, I was joining a. An organization to evangelize the world, you know, later on. Yeah, I was in a cult. But how that happened was a long transitional period...” – Ray (140:06)

10. Broader Societal Parallels and Closing Reflections

• Evangelicalism, Politics, and Deconstruction (149:12–160:07):
  • The discussion shifts to how religious movements get politicized, with Ray offering historical context for contemporary evangelicalism and its social impact.
• Final Thoughts on Spirituality (171:06–174:00):
  • Ray advocates for self-forgiveness, honesty, and living faith as love, not dogma.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Early Indoctrination:
  “You really misunderstood what was said. And God loves your girlfriend more than you do, so you need to get strong in the Lord so that you can share the gospel with her.” – Ray (17:40)

• On Understanding His Guilt:
  “I can forgive myself because I can understand why it happened. The underlying motives that I actually had was good. I wanted to serve God.” – Ray (141:20)

• On Institutional vs. Individual Faith:
  “Christian is a tricky word. Suppose to mean a follower of Jesus, but I don’t think it does anymore.” – Ray (149:41)

• On Trauma and Recovery:
  “You have to get to a place where you can let go. You can get that trauma to a healed place. I hope that that message gets out more and more.” – Ray (146:06)

• On Unpacking the Bible after Cult Life:
  “I’ve gotten away from trying to figure out what everything means in the Bible. The Gospels are for me...the richest source of spiritual inspiration.” – Ray (118:57)

• On Parenting After the Cult:
  “I have to take full responsibility for everything I did...I can explain it in terms of what psychological conditioning is and how it works...but I had to agree to do stuff, you know, it wasn’t just—they couldn’t just make me, but they would convince me in a way.” – Ray (81:01–82:42)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:10] – Ray’s entry into CoG, the 1970s context
• [12:08] – Realizing what Children of God was
• [21:33] – Cult structure, rules, and "boot camp"
• [32:18] – Cult marriage and family-making
• [44:53] – Onset of sexual "evangelism" (Flirty Fishing)
• [64:05] – Child abuse within the cult
• [70:12] – Breaking point: leaving the group
• [77:06] – Family tragedies, mental health aftermath
• [96:39] – Evading law enforcement and authorities
• [103:44] – Reconciling faith post-cult
• [132:23] – Un-brainwashing and helping others leave
• [149:12] – On evangelical politicization and American Christianity
• [171:06] – Concluding thoughts: humanity, faith, love

Tone, Style, and Speaker Dynamics

• Ray is reflective, candid, at times mournful, and deeply self-examining—frequently apologizing, owning up to painful truths, but also showing gratitude for his family’s survival.
• Danny’s style is direct but compassionate, pressing for detail on shocking material but allowing humor and empathy to surface—as when the number of children comes up or parallels with other cults are drawn.

Further Resources

• Ray's memoir (2011), available in paperback and Kindle (title not mentioned, but Ray displays it at the end [173:25]).
• Meadow Haven and International Cultic Studies Association—resources for cult survivors.
• Rebecca Lemoine/Lamot, academic expert on cults and mind control, previously discussed on Joe Rogan.

A haunting, honest, and ultimately hopeful narrative about the search for meaning, the dangers of charismatic authority, trauma, and the difficult work of redemption. No story about cult survival is easy, but Ray’s openness and continued faith speak volumes about the human capacity for change and forgiveness.