De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan
Episode: Holiday Hotline: Santa, Parenting Guilt, and Christmas Advice
Date: December 18, 2025
Network: Dear Media
Episode Overview
This episode, "Holiday Hotline: Santa, Parenting Guilt, and Christmas Advice," features hosts Dani and Jordan diving into the chaotic and emotional whirlwind of parenting and holiday season pressures, from dressing kids for family events to negotiating Santa belief and managing family traditions. The duo candidly explores themes of parental guilt, household mental load, navigating extended family dynamics, and keeping Christmas centered on what matters most (family, faith, and a little bit of humor). True to their "de-influencing" ethos, they take listeners behind the scenes of real-life stress, self-doubt, and the sometimes absurd expectations of modern parenthood—especially during the holidays.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Marriage Fights, Parenting Stress, and Life with Four Kids (00:00–12:44)
- Post-Fight Reflection: The episode opens with a humorous debrief about a marital spat from their last episode, with Dani expressing surprise that listeners took her side.
- “People were saying 95 of the time I agree with Jordan, but I’m with Dani on this one, so I’m losing my grip.” (00:37, Dani)
- Parenting Logistics: They share the reality of traveling with four young children, including how child age gaps make everything more challenging (03:04–03:49).
- “Mental Load” Reality Checks: Dani talks through the never-ending logistics, like packing for trips with different weather, events, and kids at different life stages—highlighting how often mothers bear this invisible burden.
- “It’s just a million tabs open in my brain...” (29:29, Dani)
2. “Mom Guilt” & Pressure of the Holidays (12:45–31:39)
- Matching Outfits & Pressure: Dani confesses her anxiety about getting the kids to look coordinated at a family wedding and holiday events:
- “If I don’t get a picture of all of them in coordinating outfits, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. This is just what goes through my head every day.” (08:18, Dani)
- Packing & Scheduling Stress: Dani outlines, with comedic exasperation, the layers of holiday logistics—multiple trips, school tours, movie premieres, unpredictable weather, and growing kids out of their clothes.
- Discrepancy in Spousal Priorities: Jordan jokes about not understanding the fuss, emphasizing the difference between male and female perspectives on planning and appearance.
- “Like, I know I’ll survive this. If our kids are not in matching outfits, it’s okay.” (22:44, Jordan)
- Working Mom Appreciation: Jordan expresses awe at working moms' ability to manage immense mental load.
3. Social Media, Comparison, and “Elf on the Shelf” Guilt (31:40–40:00)
- Social Media Triggers: The hosts analyze how social platforms exacerbate “mom guilt,” especially around the holidays.
- “If that’s how you think on a daily basis, it’s got to be torture... all you’re doing is swiping and being like, oh my gosh, her house looks better... her elf on the shelf, look at this...” (28:54, Jordan)
- Not Doing Enough: Dani voices fears of being a “bad mom” for not doing holiday traditions like Elf on the Shelf.
- “I have the elf. I have a box to do Elf on the Shelf, but I just can’t get it together... I suck.” (27:21, Dani)
- Male Perspective: Jordan suggests that women might need to filter their social content to counteract the onslaught of comparison.
4. Listener Holiday Hotline: Parenting, Santa, and Family Traditions (41:30–64:19)
- Santa Dilemma: What do you do when your kids start questioning Santa?
- “I’m worried about Stella... I really don’t think she believes in Santa Claus.” (42:10, Dani)
- Comedic confessions about making “empty threats” involving Santa to try and modify behavior.
- Elf on the Shelf as Parental Redemption: Dani resolves to cram five days of Elf on the Shelf before Christmas to “reignite the magic” and quiet the inner critic (45:07).
- Mom Carries the Holiday Load: Reality check—Dani handles all the Christmas shopping, even for the in-laws:
- “Jordan has no idea what he’s giving anyone for Christmas. Not one thing.” (51:25, Dani)
- She emphasizes the necessity of planning gifts far in advance to reduce stress (52:14).
- Centering Christmas on Faith: Discussion on keeping holidays about Jesus amidst commercial chaos.
- “I would rather be a family that goes to church every Sunday and then skip Christmas Eve and have good time with the family, than just go to church on Christmas Eve and never the other days.” (53:21, Dani)
- Mega Church Productions: Thoughts on Prestonwood Church's extravagant (and controversial) Christmas performances; they conclude that anything which brings people together can be worthwhile, despite criticism.
5. Family Drama & Navigating Holiday Expectations (67:26–74:26)
- Too Many Toys Issue: Advice for managing (grand)parents who buy too many gifts, especially tech or screens.
- Communication and honest preferences are key—even if older generations don’t always understand.
- Church & Family Traditions: Navigating differences in where and how to do family religious events and splitting time between in-laws.
- Family Drama: Accept that some drama is inevitable; communication and doing your best to be equitable is crucial.
- “I will die on that hill that I did my best. I will go to my grave saying, I did my best.” (70:01, Jordan)
- Worst Presents: Both joke about the awkwardness of receiving duplicate or unwanted gifts—Jordan admits, “I just don’t want anything anymore.” (71:27)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On Parenting Logistics:
- “We really did it the hardest way possible. Unless we had twins, there’s not a harder way to do it than we did it.” (03:27, Jordan)
- Holiday Mental Load:
- “I packed Monday for a trip that we leave on Friday because I tried not to be stressed.” (30:29, Dani)
- On “Bad Mom” Guilt:
- “If I don’t get a picture of all of them in coordinating outfits, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.” (08:18, Dani)
- “All of this is pressure. Like as husbands, if you want to match them, great, but if it’s going to affect the stress of the family, no need. It’s all okay.” (28:13, Jordan)
- On Social Media Pressure:
- “People, like, hate follow people because they want to feel better about themselves.” (32:40, Jordan)
- On Christmas Shopping:
- “Give me credit. I literally shopped for Christmas like two months ago… the discount isn’t worth the stress for me.” (52:14, Dani)
- On Faith & Holidays:
- “I’m really for anything that’s wholesome, that brings people together.” (63:34, Dani)
- On Family Drama:
- “Just pretend it didn’t happen probably. I don’t know.” (69:10, Dani)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Parenting Logistics & “Mental Load” – 00:00–12:44
- Mom Guilt & Holiday Pressure – 12:45–31:39
- Social Media Comparison & Elf on the Shelf – 31:40–40:00
- Holiday Hotline: Listener Q&A (Santa, Gifts, Faith) – 41:30–64:19
- Family Drama, Traditions, & Presents – 67:26–74:26
Tone & Style
Conversational, self-deprecating, and often humorous, with Dani candidly sharing her anxieties and inner dialogue while Jordan alternates between empathy and playful ribbing. The episode balances relatability with genuine connection, offering a peek behind the “influencer” curtain into the messy realities of parenting, marriage, and modern holiday stress.
Summary prepared for listeners who want the real story behind picture-perfect holiday posts—and for all parents who feel like they’re just barely keeping Christmas alive.