Podcast Summary: De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan

Episode: Our First Facebook Messages + Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?
Air Date: December 4, 2025
Hosts: Dani and Jordan
Podcast Network: Dear Media

Episode Overview

This episode of De-Influenced is a candid exploration of relationship dynamics in the age of social media, modern dating narratives, and online perceptions of commitment. Dani and her husband Jordan revisit the very beginning of their relationship, share the actual messages that started it all, and then dig into the viral Vogue article questioning if having a boyfriend is now “cringe.” Throughout, the couple intersperse reflections on influencer culture, competition among women, conspiracy theories (a little light UFO chat!), and offer sharp, often humorous, commentary on how trends, luxury beliefs, and social groupthink influence the way women approach love and relationships today.

Main Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Holiday Recap, Energy Levels, and Rhythm of Life

• Dani and Jordan open with a discussion about their Thanksgiving, the chaos of hosting family, and pregnancy fatigue.
• Quote:
  “We are full throttle to the max, where we are, like, dead in bed.” — Dani (03:34)
• They riff on Dani's all-or-nothing approach, reflecting on how their relationship has evolved to respect each other's rhythms instead of pushing through.

2. How Dani and Jordan First Met: Scrolling Back in Time

• Dani details finding their first Facebook Messenger conversation, spurred by a trend on Instagram.
• The initial confusion: Dani thought Jordan—a Ramirez—was possibly a long-lost cousin!
• Quote:
  “I did a little, you know, I texted my grandma, my aunt. Yeah, make sure, make sure. I was like, do we have another long lost cousin? They’re like, no.” — Dani (07:16)

💌 Their First Facebook Messages (11:14–14:41)

• Jordan's initial outreach was to book Dani for a commercial shoot for Wisewear. He complimented her but stressed it was in a “purely professional sense.”
  • Jordan’s message:
    “You seem educated, confident, and in a purely professional sense... you’re very pretty.” (11:37)
• Dani’s reply is polite and interested, asking to vlog the experience, showing early signs of her influencer hustle.
  • Quote:
    “My audience loves this kind of stuff.” — Dani (13:11)

Reflecting on the Early Stage Relationship (14:52–17:17)

• They laugh about being “so mature” in those early exchanges—no messy make-outs or wild stories—just slow, honest communication.
• Quote:
  “If someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they’re getting married. It’s so mature. It’s so, like, built on respect. It’s not built on, like, anything trivial. It’s just good.” — Jordan (17:08)

3. Relationship Turning Points, Vulnerability, and “Going Through the Motions”

• Dani shares the timeline: she was dating somewhat passively at first, even tried to break up with Jordan a month in.
• The “cruise incident” — a guy she thought was her gay best friend tries to kiss her, helping clarify feelings (18:56–20:54).
• Quote:
  “We’d been talking on and off for like three months... Even a month in, I tried to break up with you. And then you were like, give me another shot. And I was like, fine.” — Dani (18:56)

4. Family UFO Sightings & Conspiracy Theories (26:41–34:24)

• Thanksgiving included a family discussion about the documentary "The Age of Disclosure" and their loved ones’ supposed UFO sightings.

• Dani’s mom, aunt, and Jordan’s dad apparently all have stories. The couple debate if these are real or if there’s a “demonic” angle.

  • Quote:
    “There’s definitely something going on out there…but honestly, I don’t feel like the documentary was that great. It didn’t share anything new per se.” — Jordan (28:20)

• The segment is peppered with their typical playful banter, moving quickly from UFOs to joking about stalkers and social media (“why don’t I have stalkers?”).

5. Pop Culture & TV Chat

• The couple discuss new favorites:
  • Dani loves "Pluribus" (“like nothing out there on TV”) (33:25).
  • They’re also watching "It’s All Her Fault," “Landman”, and “The Beast in Me.”
• Light, engaging analysis of the shows' appeal to women, moms, and “December vibes.”

6. Nashville Life Updates & Friendship Dynamics

• Moving plans: Dani and Jordan consider moving to Nashville, applying for schools for their children.
• Conversation about the prospect of befriending Shawn Johnson and Andrew East, and feeling “unable to keep up” with Olympian energy.
• Recurring theme: balancing ambition, motherhood, and prioritizing friendships that “make you better.”

7. Pop Culture Quick Hits

• Thoughts on the “Wicked” movie adaptation and Ariana Grande & Cynthia’s dynamic:
  • Both seem “just kind of odd,” and there’s concern about their health and public personas.
  • Quote:
    “It’s like they took a blood oath… Like, have you seen where people, like, touch Ariana and then she’s like—she, like, acts like she’s like collapsing.” — Jordan (47:25)
  • Both hosts ultimately wish health and happiness for them.

8. Main Segment: Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe? (51:46–80:18)

The Vogue Article Goes Viral

• Dani introduces a Vogue article claiming having a boyfriend is now “cringe,” being single is aspirational, and social media punishes sincerity/stability.
  • Quote from the article (52:51):
    “As long as we’re openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, having a boyfriend will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious concept within public life.”
• Dani ridicules the “upside down world” logic, while Jordan initially admits, “I kinda agree with this article” (52:44).

Social Media Narratives, Power, and Victimhood

• Jordan asserts women may avoid posting about relationships to maintain an image of independence or remain relatable to the “men suck” narrative online.
  • Quote:
    “Posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm.” — Jordan (56:41)
• The couple discuss how groupthink shapes online identities: being single is now more aspirational, posting a boyfriend can reduce relatability.

Scarcity, Competition, and “Luxury Beliefs”

• Referencing the “Modern Wisdom” podcast, Dani suggests many women, unable to find relationships, convince themselves they don’t want them (“If you can’t get what you want, you teach yourself to want what you can get.”) (57:16)
• Discussion on “luxury beliefs,” where upper-class women with hidden boyfriends push narratives that singlehood is desirable, possibly to reduce competition for men.
• Quote:
  “I think when it becomes something that is so innate within us, which is, like, to be chosen…maybe the women at the top…are trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options ourselves, subconsciously.” — Dani (63:01)

Female Friendships: Competition and Survival

• Dani breaks down competition among women, drawing analogies from her own strategy:
  • “My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street but live in a really nice neighborhood.” (68:30)
• They reflect on the complex mix of supporting vs. undercutting other women, survival, and tribal dynamics.

Reflection on Personal and Influencer Experiences

• Both recall a time when being in a public relationship increased engagement and relatability.
  • “If you posted a picture with your boyfriend or your husband, it got way more engagement.” — Dani (74:52)
• Contrast with current trends where single women (à la Alex Earl, Alex Cooper) are more celebrated for independence.

Cultural Pendulum and Influencer Identity

• The hosts discuss how the cultural script has changed—female influencers benefit from “men suck” storylines; being in a secure relationship can make them seem “entitled and annoying.”
  • “You’re just trapped in your own cycle.” — Jordan on self-deprecating, perpetual single content (60:47)
• A note of irony about male influencers:
  • “The guys... there’s just no way they’re winning.” (73:16)

Ending Thoughts

• Both hosts express skepticism about whether the current cultural shift will actually leave women happier.

  • “I don’t think the end state for females is going to end up in a happier place.” — Jordan (80:13)

• Final playful remarks about their own early relationship dynamic, laughing at how "easy" it was to bag Jordan with Dani’s “cheapest house” strategy.

  • “It was like the deer standing right in front of me. I got an easy shot.” — Dani (82:44)

Notable Quotes

• “We are full throttle to the max, where we are, like, dead in bed.” — Dani (03:34)
• “You seem educated, confident, and in a purely professional sense... you’re very pretty.” — Jordan (reading his first message) (11:37)
• “If someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they’re getting married. It’s so mature.” — Jordan (17:08)
• “Posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm.” — Jordan (56:41)
• “If you can’t get what you want, you teach yourself to want what you can get.” — Dani quoting sociologist (57:16)
• “I think when it becomes something that is so innate within us, which is, like, to be chosen…maybe the women at the top…are trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options ourselves, subconsciously.” — Dani (63:01)
• “My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street but live in a really nice neighborhood.” — Dani (68:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Energy, Holidays, and Opening Banter: 00:08–05:27
• Their Facebook Meet-Cute: 06:11–14:41
• First “Mature” Relationship & Cruise Story: 17:08–20:54
• Family UFO Story Time: 26:41–34:24
• TV/Movies Pop Culture Recap: 33:25–36:38
• Nashville Moves/Olympian Friends Chat: 42:00–45:56
• Wicked Movie & Pop Star Discussion: 46:01–50:20
• Main Topic—Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?: 51:46–80:18
• Female Competition, Luxury Beliefs & Influencer Scene: 61:21–69:38
• Wrap-Up & Final Thoughts on Relationships: 80:18–83:32

Tone and Highlights

• Dani and Jordan maintain a playful, self-aware, and wryly honest tone throughout.
• Their banter is affectionate and lightly self-deprecating, underlining their “de-influenced” ethos of cutting through the social media spin.
• They offer a unique blend of behind-the-scenes influencer insight, cultural commentary, and old-school relationship wisdom.

Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is both personal and meta—offering a real-life example of how online interactions start and evolve relationships, and then dissecting current internet-driven ideas about relationships, identity, and social competitiveness. Whether you’re nostalgic for peak Facebook, interested in the influencer perspective, or grappling with how dating narratives play out in your own life, Dani and Jordan offer plenty of food-for-thought—plus more than a few laughs along the way.