Our First Facebook Messages + Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?

Summary

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Podcast Summary: De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan

Episode: Our First Facebook Messages + Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?
Air Date: December 4, 2025
Hosts: Dani and Jordan
Podcast Network: Dear Media

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Episode Overview

This episode of De-Influenced is a candid exploration of relationship dynamics in the age of social media, modern dating narratives, and online perceptions of commitment. Dani and her husband Jordan revisit the very beginning of their relationship, share the actual messages that started it all, and then dig into the viral Vogue article questioning if having a boyfriend is now “cringe.” Throughout, the couple intersperse reflections on influencer culture, competition among women, conspiracy theories (a little light UFO chat!), and offer sharp, often humorous, commentary on how trends, luxury beliefs, and social groupthink influence the way women approach love and relationships today.

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Main Discussion Points & Highlights

1. Holiday Recap, Energy Levels, and Rhythm of Life

• Dani and Jordan open with a discussion about their Thanksgiving, the chaos of hosting family, and pregnancy fatigue.
• Quote:
  “We are full throttle to the max, where we are, like, dead in bed.” — Dani (03:34)
• They riff on Dani's all-or-nothing approach, reflecting on how their relationship has evolved to respect each other's rhythms instead of pushing through.

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2. How Dani and Jordan First Met: Scrolling Back in Time

• Dani details finding their first Facebook Messenger conversation, spurred by a trend on Instagram.
• The initial confusion: Dani thought Jordan—a Ramirez—was possibly a long-lost cousin!
• Quote:
  “I did a little, you know, I texted my grandma, my aunt. Yeah, make sure, make sure. I was like, do we have another long lost cousin? They’re like, no.” — Dani (07:16)

💌 Their First Facebook Messages (11:14–14:41)

• Jordan's initial outreach was to book Dani for a commercial shoot for Wisewear. He complimented her but stressed it was in a “purely professional sense.”
  • Jordan’s message:
    “You seem educated, confident, and in a purely professional sense... you’re very pretty.” (11:37)
• Dani’s reply is polite and interested, asking to vlog the experience, showing early signs of her influencer hustle.
  • Quote:
    “My audience loves this kind of stuff.” — Dani (13:11)

Reflecting on the Early Stage Relationship (14:52–17:17)

• They laugh about being “so mature” in those early exchanges—no messy make-outs or wild stories—just slow, honest communication.
• Quote:
  “If someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they’re getting married. It’s so mature. It’s so, like, built on respect. It’s not built on, like, anything trivial. It’s just good.” — Jordan (17:08)

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3. Relationship Turning Points, Vulnerability, and “Going Through the Motions”

• Dani shares the timeline: she was dating somewhat passively at first, even tried to break up with Jordan a month in.
• The “cruise incident” — a guy she thought was her gay best friend tries to kiss her, helping clarify feelings (18:56–20:54).
• Quote:
  “We’d been talking on and off for like three months... Even a month in, I tried to break up with you. And then you were like, give me another shot. And I was like, fine.” — Dani (18:56)

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4. Family UFO Sightings & Conspiracy Theories (26:41–34:24)

• Thanksgiving included a family discussion about the documentary "The Age of Disclosure" and their loved ones’ supposed UFO sightings.

• Dani’s mom, aunt, and Jordan’s dad apparently all have stories. The couple debate if these are real or if there’s a “demonic” angle.

  • Quote:
    “There’s definitely something going on out there…but honestly, I don’t feel like the documentary was that great. It didn’t share anything new per se.” — Jordan (28:20)

• The segment is peppered with their typical playful banter, moving quickly from UFOs to joking about stalkers and social media (“why don’t I have stalkers?”).

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5. Pop Culture & TV Chat

• The couple discuss new favorites:
  • Dani loves "Pluribus" (“like nothing out there on TV”) (33:25).
  • They’re also watching "It’s All Her Fault," “Landman”, and “The Beast in Me.”
• Light, engaging analysis of the shows' appeal to women, moms, and “December vibes.”

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6. Nashville Life Updates & Friendship Dynamics

• Moving plans: Dani and Jordan consider moving to Nashville, applying for schools for their children.
• Conversation about the prospect of befriending Shawn Johnson and Andrew East, and feeling “unable to keep up” with Olympian energy.
• Recurring theme: balancing ambition, motherhood, and prioritizing friendships that “make you better.”

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7. Pop Culture Quick Hits

• Thoughts on the “Wicked” movie adaptation and Ariana Grande & Cynthia’s dynamic:
  • Both seem “just kind of odd,” and there’s concern about their health and public personas.
  • Quote:
    “It’s like they took a blood oath… Like, have you seen where people, like, touch Ariana and then she’s like—she, like, acts like she’s like collapsing.” — Jordan (47:25)
  • Both hosts ultimately wish health and happiness for them.

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8. Main Segment: Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe? (51:46–80:18)

The Vogue Article Goes Viral

• Dani introduces a Vogue article claiming having a boyfriend is now “cringe,” being single is aspirational, and social media punishes sincerity/stability.
  • Quote from the article (52:51):
    “As long as we’re openly rethinking and criticizing heteronormativity, having a boyfriend will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious concept within public life.”
• Dani ridicules the “upside down world” logic, while Jordan initially admits, “I kinda agree with this article” (52:44).

Social Media Narratives, Power, and Victimhood

• Jordan asserts women may avoid posting about relationships to maintain an image of independence or remain relatable to the “men suck” narrative online.
  • Quote:
    “Posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm.” — Jordan (56:41)
• The couple discuss how groupthink shapes online identities: being single is now more aspirational, posting a boyfriend can reduce relatability.

Scarcity, Competition, and “Luxury Beliefs”

• Referencing the “Modern Wisdom” podcast, Dani suggests many women, unable to find relationships, convince themselves they don’t want them (“If you can’t get what you want, you teach yourself to want what you can get.”) (57:16)
• Discussion on “luxury beliefs,” where upper-class women with hidden boyfriends push narratives that singlehood is desirable, possibly to reduce competition for men.
• Quote:
  “I think when it becomes something that is so innate within us, which is, like, to be chosen…maybe the women at the top…are trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options ourselves, subconsciously.” — Dani (63:01)

Female Friendships: Competition and Survival

• Dani breaks down competition among women, drawing analogies from her own strategy:
  • “My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street but live in a really nice neighborhood.” (68:30)
• They reflect on the complex mix of supporting vs. undercutting other women, survival, and tribal dynamics.

Reflection on Personal and Influencer Experiences

• Both recall a time when being in a public relationship increased engagement and relatability.
  • “If you posted a picture with your boyfriend or your husband, it got way more engagement.” — Dani (74:52)
• Contrast with current trends where single women (à la Alex Earl, Alex Cooper) are more celebrated for independence.

Cultural Pendulum and Influencer Identity

• The hosts discuss how the cultural script has changed—female influencers benefit from “men suck” storylines; being in a secure relationship can make them seem “entitled and annoying.”
  • “You’re just trapped in your own cycle.” — Jordan on self-deprecating, perpetual single content (60:47)
• A note of irony about male influencers:
  • “The guys... there’s just no way they’re winning.” (73:16)

Ending Thoughts

• Both hosts express skepticism about whether the current cultural shift will actually leave women happier.

  • “I don’t think the end state for females is going to end up in a happier place.” — Jordan (80:13)

• Final playful remarks about their own early relationship dynamic, laughing at how "easy" it was to bag Jordan with Dani’s “cheapest house” strategy.

  • “It was like the deer standing right in front of me. I got an easy shot.” — Dani (82:44)

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Notable Quotes

• “We are full throttle to the max, where we are, like, dead in bed.” — Dani (03:34)
• “You seem educated, confident, and in a purely professional sense... you’re very pretty.” — Jordan (reading his first message) (11:37)
• “If someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they’re getting married. It’s so mature.” — Jordan (17:08)
• “Posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm.” — Jordan (56:41)
• “If you can’t get what you want, you teach yourself to want what you can get.” — Dani quoting sociologist (57:16)
• “I think when it becomes something that is so innate within us, which is, like, to be chosen…maybe the women at the top…are trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options ourselves, subconsciously.” — Dani (63:01)
• “My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street but live in a really nice neighborhood.” — Dani (68:30)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Energy, Holidays, and Opening Banter: 00:08–05:27
• Their Facebook Meet-Cute: 06:11–14:41
• First “Mature” Relationship & Cruise Story: 17:08–20:54
• Family UFO Story Time: 26:41–34:24
• TV/Movies Pop Culture Recap: 33:25–36:38
• Nashville Moves/Olympian Friends Chat: 42:00–45:56
• Wicked Movie & Pop Star Discussion: 46:01–50:20
• Main Topic—Is Having a Boyfriend Cringe?: 51:46–80:18
• Female Competition, Luxury Beliefs & Influencer Scene: 61:21–69:38
• Wrap-Up & Final Thoughts on Relationships: 80:18–83:32

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Tone and Highlights

• Dani and Jordan maintain a playful, self-aware, and wryly honest tone throughout.
• Their banter is affectionate and lightly self-deprecating, underlining their “de-influenced” ethos of cutting through the social media spin.
• They offer a unique blend of behind-the-scenes influencer insight, cultural commentary, and old-school relationship wisdom.

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Summary for Non-Listeners

This episode is both personal and meta—offering a real-life example of how online interactions start and evolve relationships, and then dissecting current internet-driven ideas about relationships, identity, and social competitiveness. Whether you’re nostalgic for peak Facebook, interested in the influencer perspective, or grappling with how dating narratives play out in your own life, Dani and Jordan offer plenty of food-for-thought—plus more than a few laughs along the way.

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Transcript

[A]

The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast D. Influence.

[B]

You were having such a good run. Oh, did I? Do I usually have my backrest? It feels weird.

[A]

Oh, yeah, put your pillow. I always have my pillow. If you don't. If you're not watching on video. Jordan currently has. You probably can't see it on video. His North Face puffer jacket on and a heater next to his feet.

[B]

And I'm still cold. My hands are still freezing.

[A]

He's frigid. And I could. Honestly, if I like, I could probably drip a sweat right now. I'm so hot. Yeah, that was kind of this whole weekend, this Thanksgiving weekend. Like, the house was. Everybody was so cold, and I was like, guys, it's fine. Because I think, like I said, I just. Well, I'm. I have another human in my stomach, and I think it takes a lot of energy and makes you kind of hot.

[B]

Speaking of taking energy, you were doing so great this weekend.

[A]

I know. I just.

[B]

And you just. Even last night, you were doing great. I passed out.

[A]

I know. You took a nap yesterday.

[B]

And I can just tell we're. We're on the downward spiral.

[A]

It. Not downward spiral. It just hit me, like, I've been getting about six to seven hours of sleep every night, which is average probably for me.

And, you know, waking up and it's just like we had. We hosted Thanksgiving at our lake house. And so every morning, you know, someone's crying and get. Get. Got to get the babies fed, and then you're hosting all these family members. So every morning it was like, off to the races. And I was. I had so much energy, like, was doing great. Like, a half a cup of coffee in the morning. That's all the caffeine I needed. And we got home last night, actually, even. We got home yesterday, and, like, I unpacked, like, And I don't know that Chipotle did me.

[B]

I'm telling you, the Chipotle did me in, too.

[A]

Yeah, that's Chipotle. We ordered door dash Chipotle. And ever since then, I don't know what they put in that chicken, but I'm telling you, I have been so tired. So I woke up this morning, normal hours, 6:00am, Stella comes in. I go out there, I'm like, you know, trying to help. I'm like, yes. Just raising kids. Yeah, I'm helping. I'm such a good mom. And I look at Jordan and go, I gotta go lay down. I'm sorry. And so I laid down from, like, seven to probably 11. I fell asleep, like, only 45 minutes because I started. I was watching my. The Beast in Me show.

[B]

Okay, you weren't watching our show?

[A]

No, no. And then I watched Pluribus, like, the one episode I have seen. But another crazy thing about this, this week is every single day at the lake. We're there for four days. I got 12,000 steps every single day. And so I made sure I was, like, really active. We played so much pickleball tennis, and I was like, man, this is not catching up to me at all. Like, I am just a very fit pregnant woman. And then I realize I'm. I'm not.

[B]

I know.

[A]

I'm humbled.

[B]

It. It. Your. Your longest stretch in pregnancy is, like, five days.

[A]

Ah, yeah, yeah. But I don't usually push myself to such an extreme. Like, I don't usually do 12, 000 steps.

[B]

No.

[A]

I probably hit about 7,000 a day.

[B]

But your energy levels, it's never, like, rise and then sly decline. It's like, boom, boom. That's how my mom and I both are 100%.

[A]

We're like. We are full throttle to the max, where we are, like, dead in bed. And, like, I just remember, like, my mom being like that growing up. Like, she would be like, five days, like, 100. Like, on max, 100% just. And then, like, on. I remember, like, one day a week, she would just be, like, in bed all day.

[B]

Yeah, she was, like, at the lake.

[A]

I know. I never. I don't really mind it, though. No, no, it's like.

[B]

It's just part of the rhythm.

[A]

It's part of the rhythm. I think it's a great way to live.

[B]

Yeah. All in or all out?

[A]

All in. All out. 100% or 100% not?

[B]

It's so funny. I thought about that this morning, about you. I was like, yeah, it's like she is 100% in or 100% out.

[A]

So true.

[B]

And. Yeah, it's just. It's an interesting thing about you.

[A]

What context are you thinking about that?

[B]

I just. I was just thinking about it.

[A]

No, you tell me.

[B]

No, I was just thinking about it.

[A]

Tell me. I know you have an example.

[B]

No, I don't. I really don't. Well, you know, the. The other week, you were like, hey, we should film some reels together.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And I was just thinking about it, and I was like, you know, I was. I was all in, and I had decided in my mind, like, I'm gonna be all in on this. And then, you know, you wanted to Be all in at that moment. But then you couldn't. And then you were all out. And then I was just thinking about how for so many years, like, I had to. Like, when you were all out and just tired, like, I had to be the one that was like, no, like, we gotta keep going. And I was just thinking about how mad at me you probably were during that era and how much healthier it is now that I can just respect your rhythms of being all in and all out and I don't have to be the bad guy. I was thinking about that.

[A]

It's great insight.

[B]

I was just thinking about it.

[A]

Yeah, I love that. It was crazy. Speaking of the past, so when I met Jordan, I'm sure you all have seen that. That reel that's going around. It's like. It's like when the boy at the football game asks to buy you a drink, you say, yes, make sure you marry that man. Like, have you seen that? It's like a trend on Instagram. And I was like, oh, I gotta make one. Everybody's doing this. Like, I gotta do it too. And I was like, okay. So when the random guy messages you on Facebook and you think he's a cousin, but he's not, and then he asks you to be a part of a shoot with football players, make sure you marry that man.

[B]

Wait, did you redo it like that?

[A]

No, but that's the first. I was like, that's the first thing that came to my head.

[B]

The funniest thing when she posts this. The funniest thing about our initial Facebook messenger feed or conversation is that I.

[A]

Scrolled, by the way, last night when he was napping, I scrolled all the way back to our initial Facebook conversation when he reached out to me.

[B]

And the funniest thing. Well, the weirdest thing about it is that you thought I was your cousin. But I also said you were pretty.

[A]

Well, because I clicked on your picture, and then I realized we weren't cousins.

[B]

Okay, so you knew immediately that we were.

[A]

My family are Ramirez's. And so I have an Alex Ramirez, a Victoria. Victoria Ramirez, and then a Jordan Ramirez reaches out to me. I'm like a long lost cousin. Not only is he long lost, but he's another white cousin. Because, like, all of my cousins are not white. And so I was like, oh, my gosh, there's another one like me out there. Because every time I go see them, they always call me the white kid. You know, squeeze my cheeks. They're like, the white kid. I'm like, okay. And so he reached out and I was like, oh my gosh, another Ramirez. And then I clicked on the picture. I saw like your family of origin. I did a little, you know, I texted my grandma, my aunt. Yeah, make sure, make sure. I was like, do we have another long lost cousin? They're like, no.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so we weren't related. Which actually has been confirmed over 23andMe multiple times.

[B]

Yeah, we're good.

[A]

We're good. We also, if we were, it's like, it's not that big of a deal.

You know, it's like, I mean, we're.

[B]

Already so far in, like, what are we going to do?

[A]

It's like, it's like, what are you, like my seventh cousin removed twice? Like, it's like, okay.

[B]

Also, it happened just objectively. We have pretty normal, healthy children.

[A]

The thing is, is I wouldn't ex. I wouldn't be fearful of that. I'm just saying if we are related in some way, it's just. Okay, like, whatever.

[B]

Yeah, but, but if we were related, I don't think we would have normal children.

[A]

No, but Jordan, we're obviously not that closely related to where it would affect our. Our offspring.

[B]

Yeah. So I'm saying we're saying the same happening.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'm just saying 23andMe and we have normal children, so therefore we are not related.

[A]

I think, like, people can be related and have healthy kids, though. Like, I don't think that just because we have healthy kids that like, like, confirms the fact that we're not related.

[B]

I thought it was pretty proven that if you're related.

[A]

Okay, so what if we're second. What if we're second cousins?

[B]

How far removed is that?

[A]

I. It's still a little too close for. Yeah, it's too close for comfort, in my opinion. Yeah.

[B]

Ramirez is like Smith, which is something.

[A]

Because his mom is a Smith.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like, do you know how.

[A]

Many Ramirez's were at my high school?

[B]

Like, I mean, we had at least six.

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot of you. You had only six.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Jordan's high school did not have a lot of diversity. I'm just saying.

[B]

No, we did.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[B]

And you're right, I was diversity. It was me.

[A]

I'm just saying. Jordan talks about his high school experience. I'm like, okay, this is definitely a suburb.

[B]

Yeah, it's suburb for sure.

[A]

Anyway, what was I talking about? So related. It's fine, whatever.

[B]

Yeah, we were talking about.

[A]

Okay. Oh, yeah. So this guy Ramirez messages me on.

[B]

Facebook.

[A]

And this is what it's said. I was in a tanning bed, which just shows you the times.

[B]

The funniest thing, though, biggest regret, I.

[A]

Have like, a leathery chest because of it. Don't ever do a tanning bed.

[B]

Did you do the little sticker?

[A]

Oh, yeah. But that was like more of like a high school thing. Once you got to college, it was, like, kind of tacky.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

But my. I never did the Playboy bunny sticker because I was, like, trashy always. It, like the heart.

[B]

The heart. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay, so Jordan's Facebook message. This is in November 6th of 2014.

At 12:36pm can you just post.

[B]

I don't want to read it.

[A]

Jordan, stop.

[B]

I don't know. I just don't. I just don't like this stuff.

[A]

Jordan, it's so cute. And actually, we kind of sound the same.

[B]

I know we both fronted to each other. I said I had to go because I had a meeting. I for sure had.

[A]

We're actually both, like, very normal in our messages. Hey, Danny. I'm not sure if we have met before or not. Or not. Sorry. Hey, Danny. I'm not sure if we have met before or not, other than a few times. Okay. I think I should have clocked that as a red flag. Your grandma is a little off. I just know.

[B]

I also for sure never met, but I wanted you to maybe think that we did.

[A]

I knew that we hadn't. I remember looking at your picture, being this guy is pretending to like. I remember vividly thinking, he's trying to be in the circles that I'm in, but he's not, like, at all. And then you ask mutual friends, and I was like, nope, never heard of him. Yeah, Yeah. I just know we have a lot of mutual friends.

Most likely from Christian circles at ut. I remember, like, vividly.

[B]

That's a good one.

[A]

Seeing all my friends and nobody had heard of you. It's okay. I liked that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I was, like, mysterious. I am the creative director for a company about to launch a product in the wearable health space. Think Fitbit, nike, fuel band, etc. And we are shooting a commercial tomorrow that one of our female models backed out of. You seem educated, confident, and in a purely professional sense, parentheses, not trying to be creepy. You're very pretty.

[B]

Oh, okay. Got it.

[A]

Your grammar was really bad. We would be shooting a few different scenes, like paddleboarding, hiking, jogging, etc. So you wouldn't really have to act as much as do these things as. And pretend the camera isn't there just to make sure you know everything is legit that I'm talking about. Here's the website wisebear.com and here is the rough cut of the commercial we just shot with Emmanuel Ocho, who pays, plays for the Philadelphia Eagles and used to play for ut. Sorry about this being random, but I think you'd be great if you're free on such short notice and willing. It will just be a three man crew, outdoors and such. Please let me know if you're interested. And sorry again for the random nature of all this. If it makes you feel better, I contacted you because you are someone that stands out in a crowd. I also want you to know that I have watched some of your videos because they appear in my newsfeed and I think that the platform you are sharing love, kindness and wisdom with is really cool on YouTube. You seem like you have a great personality and obviously are fine in front of the camera. So hopefully you can participate tomorrow and if not, I'd love to get to know you. Anyway, have a great day.

[B]

That's such a good message.

[A]

I know, it was so sweet, right?

[B]

So good.

[A]

So then I said.

[B]

You were kind of like to the point, were you?

[A]

Was I?

[B]

A little bit. Didn't you say like, hey, I'll catch up on this later or something?

[A]

I said, hey, Jordan, wanted to let you know I read your message and I will get back to you after class. I was in a tanning bed.

I remember being like this with the goggles on, being like cousin primo, Primo. And then later on that day, like maybe an hour later, I said, this sounds really cool. I'm not sure I understand what Wisewear is, but I would love to help out. Do you know the exact hours that they would need me? Also, thank you for the YouTube encouragement. I always hope that my content is transparent in those ways, so I appreciate it if it's okay. I'd also love to bring my camera and make a little video blog in the about the experience, quote unquote, behind the scenes type of deal to upload to my YouTube channel. My audience loves this kind of stuff.

And then he replies yes to all your questions. I'm running into a meeting, but I'll get back to you in the next few hours with all the details.

[B]

I was like, you're not the only one to delay a response.

[A]

And then an hour later, great. I get out of an exam at 5.

We're both just like going back and forth. Okay, so then you kind of go in about the type of footage and you know, all of this.

And then you talked about, like, what the actual product is, and then da, da, da, da. And then the next message is December 10th. So this is a month later. So I don't know what had happened, like, you know, between us in person.

[B]

What was that? What? When was that message? The first one?

[A]

This was November 14, 2014.

[B]

November 14. So we had gone to the. Gone to that.

[A]

Oh, no, I'm sorry. November 6th.

[B]

So we'd gone to that company party together.

[A]

Yes. And so at the company party, we had a great time. And then he told me at that party on the way home that he wanted to take me on a date because he thought I'd make a great wife.

[B]

This is debatable.

[A]

It's not debatable. I clearly remember it. I was looking out at the stars, the. Right. When you said it, and I remember thinking, I like this about this guy.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

He's embarrassed about it. I just, like, don't think it's like.

[B]

Well, you just. You exp. Yeah. Okay. Keep going.

[A]

The next message.

[B]

We're married with four children. It's fine.

[A]

The next message is this. December 10, 2014. Danny, why don't you open up to me?

You're holding back. I can feel it.

[B]

You probably were.

[A]

I go, how so? I don't know how to explain. I guess I can just. I just. I guess I just feel like I can't read you, which is weird because I can read a lot of people. Pretty much all people, which is so funny because, like, literally my whole life, people have been like, I can't read you.

[B]

No, I know. It's because you're even the.

[A]

Our guy that used to do our podcasts. Like, he would always be like, I don't know if she likes me or hates me. Like, you know. Yeah. Am I hard to read?

Like. Like, maybe secretly, I actually don't like you, but I act nice.

[B]

I feel like you're pretty. Pretty real in that way.

[A]

Okay. Whatever. People tell me all the time, so it's fine. I don't mind.

[B]

Yeah, you're. Yeah.

[A]

I said, I think I've gotten very used to opening up with very few people. True. Honestly, it just takes me a little bit more time to be honest. I just feel like I don't know how sometimes or, like, what's appropriate or Right. I don't know. I mean, then you said. I mean, I'm in the same boat. I'm honestly not used to things going so well and so slow either. And I don't mean slow in a negative sense. Letting Someone into my life isn't a trivial thing for me. And I think I'm still warming up to you. But exactly, like, this is all very foreign to me, and I sometimes feel like I'm holding back because I disrespect you, if that makes any sense.

[B]

You said that? Oh, yeah.

[A]

Let's see. Blah, blah.

And then basically, we talked about it. I said, yeah, I would like to be able to open up to you more and feel more comfortable. But that has nothing to do with you, only with me. But I know that I enjoy spending time with you. I think you're incredibly interesting and just around pretty adorable, to say the least. And you said, well, all right, continuing on then. Shall we cut? We're so mature.

[B]

Honestly, though, if. If someone objectively read this conversation, it would have been like, they're getting married.

[A]

Really?

[B]

For sure. Yeah. Because it's like.

[A]

It's so mature.

[B]

It's so, like, built on respect. It's not built on, like, anything trivial. It's just, like. It's just, like, good.

[A]

Yeah, we didn't, like. That's the thing about when we first started dating. We didn't have, like, that crazy, like, story where, like, you make out of the bar or, like, you have a crazy night a couple times. But no, we didn't. Not early on.

[B]

Not early on. Not early.

[A]

That's what I'm saying is, like, those first times when you meet each other and, like, you know, these, like. You dance on the date, like, our relationship was very, like, slow and steady.

[B]

But it was like, you know, it was like, yeah, I'm probably gonna marry this person.

[A]

See, I don't know. I kind of just felt like I was going through the motions.

[B]

No, for sure. You're.

[A]

You were. Yeah, I was just like, I got nothing else to do.

[B]

Yeah. You know, there was a point, like, probably for the first, like, three months, you were going through the motions, but then you went on that cruise.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then you were like, I'm gonna marry him.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I went on a cruise.

[B]

But you also confirmed that you were gonna marry me when you went to the kids club.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You remember the kids?

[A]

Oh, that guy tried to kiss me.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. A guy showed up at my door on the cruise that had been. He was just kind of like, the guy.

[B]

Which guys? I didn't know this until, like, last year. I was like, wait, what? And I kind of was, like, mad at you. And then. And then you were like, jordan, this is like, eight years ago. We have three.

[A]

Also had been dating for three months. So I was like, yeah, yeah, calm down, calm down. But I. So we had been dating for. We. I had been, like, talking on and off for, like, three months, and it wasn't like I said a very. Like. Like, oh, my gosh, I met him. I'm gonna marry him. Like, we had met each other, and even a month in, I tried to break up with you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you were like, give me another shot. And I was like, fine. And then, like, two months later, I was like, I'm going on a cruise. You know, so I go on this cruise.

[B]

No phone.

[A]

No phone. And.

There was, like, they had. You know, like, all the kids at night would, like, go out. And so when I say kids, it was like, college students, and we would all go to, like, this one place and dance and. And. But there was this one character on this boat. I mean, it's a huge cruise, but he was just kind of, like, always, like, the most outgoing guy. Like, he went and talked to everyone, and he, like, had, you know, that just, like, that personality that was just like.

[B]

You love that guy, though.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, he was like, that's.

[B]

That's. That's my arch nemesis.

[A]

But he kind of was like that. Like, almost like, in a gay best friend kind of way. Like, he would come up to me like, hey, Dana, girl. Like, you're some suit. Like, you look cute. Like, you know, stuff like that. Like, interesting, but. But not gay. But, like, just that type personality where he would just walk up to anyone. So there was never any, like, tension. Like, oh, I think I like him and know. So, like, a week into the cruise, we just are hanging out a lot. We're just around each other a lot. Like, I never, ever expected that. And then we go. Landon. We all go dancing one night, and he walks me back to my room, and then he tries to kiss me. I think he maybe did kiss me on my cheek or something.

[B]

Maybe on your, like, eye or.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know. It was, like, very, like. Like, you know, wholesome or whatever. And I was like, you said, no.

[B]

My husband's back home in the States.

[A]

I don't know. Like, I was just like, oh. And then I really avoided him for, like, the rest of the cruise. That's all I remember.

[B]

Interesting story.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Never spoke to him again.

[A]

No.

[B]

Wow. Should I call Landon to confirm?

[A]

He probably would remember. Landon wasn't there when he tried to kiss me, obviously. He was probably in the room. Me and Landon shared, like, a tiny, little sweet. So, like, Landon was definitely probably there. I think I did tell Landon and Landon was like, what? Because it was like so he almost thought he was like a gay best friend, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I almost was like, I almost like, when he did it, I was like, you don't really like me. Like, you're just kind of bored. Like, you know, like you're just, you want to, you're trying to like make something out of nothing because we're all just kind of bored here. But like we were. Yeah, it's just not a good fit. So anyway, we're married. Yeah.

[B]

We made it. Three children. One on the way.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know how we got into that, but it's so sweet.

[B]

It's so sweet.

[A]

We're so sweet. So December has this funny way of making life feel both magical and absolutely exhausting at the same time. Between the events, the kids schedules, the travel, the last minute gifting, by the time the house finally quiets down at night, I'm like, okay, I just need a minute to breathe. And honestly, that's why I've been loving cozy earth. It's the kind of gift that doesn't just sit on a shelf.

[B]

It's.

[A]

It actually changes how someone unwinds at the end of the day when everything else is hectic. Having bedding or loungewear that feels soft, calm and grounding just makes home feel like the best place to be. Their bamboo sheets really are such a standout gift. They're crafted from viscose from bamboo, so they have this buttery, soft feel that keeps you cozy while you still sleep cooler. It's perfect for those long winter nights when you just want to snuggle in, watch a movie and not overheat under the covers. And, and it's one of those gifts people talk about weeks later like, okay, wait, this actually changed my sleep. And if you want something that feels a little bit more like a treat yourself. Anything from their pajamas to their blankets adds that touch of everyday luxury. It's more than gifting an item. It's gifting those slow moments we're all craving around the holidays. The quiet mornings, the early bedtime, the reset plus cozy earth makes it totally risk free. You get a hundred night free sleep trial so you can try everything in your own home. And a 10 year warranty because the quality is genuinely built to last. Once you feel it, you get why people become obsessed. So if you're looking for a gift that's thoughtful and actually used long after December is over, this is truly one of my favorites. Give the gift of everyday luxury this holiday season, head to cozyearth.com and use my code Dani for up to 40% off. Just be sure to place your order by December 12th for guaranteed Christmas delivery. Listening after the 12th. Don't worry, my code still works year round for 20% off. And if you get a post purchase survey, be sure to mention you heard about Cozy Earth right here on D Influence Podcast. I have to say, one of the coolest parts of doing this podcast is getting to meet founders who are genuinely obsessed with doing things the right way. And that's exactly how I feel about EVLO. I spent time with Dr. Shannon, the founder, and once you hear her talk about the why behind Evolo, the science, the intention and the structure, you're like, oh, this is different. It gave me so much trust in what she has created. Evolo is truly one of the smartest ways to strength train from home. It blends traditional weightlifting with Pilates style precision to help you build muscle in a way that's joint friendly and sustainable. Everything is led by doctors of physical therapy, which makes such a difference. You're not guessing. You're not doing random moves. You're following a program that's actually designed to support your body long term. They release new 35 minute classes every week and they've got different tracks depending on whether you want to work out three, four or five times per week. You just pick your track, hit play and follow a structure that hits every major muscle group without burning you out. It's efficient, it's thoughtful, and it actually fits into real life. And if you're pregnant or postpartum, EVLO has dedicated programs for both. I think this part is so cool. With their prenatal track, you enter your due date and the app literally gives you classes tailored to your exact week of pregnancy. And they're taught by Dr. Shannon when she was in the gestation week. It feels personal and supportive in a way most workout programs aren't. I also love that members consistently say the same thing. They finally feel stronger and more energized without overdoing it. The workouts are low impact but high results and I feel like that's exactly what so many women are looking for. Visit evolofitness.com and use the code Dani for six weeks free. You get a free two week trial plus your first month at $0.

[B]

How are the holidays already here? I swear I blinked and suddenly were in full on hosting mode. Every year I tell myself I'm going to be ahead of these things. And then December hits and I'm like, wait, did I even finish the guest room? Do I even have a gift from my mom? It's the last minute scramble every single time. But Wayfairs has seriously saved me this year. When I realized we had family coming to stay, I hopped on the site and within minutes had everything I needed. New bedding, some pretty throw pillows, and the cutest accent chair for the guest room. It all fit our style perfectly and pulled the whole space together without me overthinking it. And their shipping is fast. Like, truly fast enough for people like me who decide to refresh a whole room two weeks before Christmas. Everything arrived on time, packaged perfectly, and looked even better in person. What I love about Wayfair is that it fits whatever mood or style you're going for. Whether you want cozy holiday decorations, practical hosting essentials, or gifts for literally anyone in your life, it's all in one place. I even grabbed a few kitchen items for hosting. A big serving board, some new wine glasses, and the prices were so good. And if you're still trying to figure out gifts, Wayfair has so many options for every budget, kids, room refreshers, home decor, kitchen tools for the foodies in your life. I was honestly surprised by how much I could check off my list all at once. This is the time of year where your home is full, things are busy, and you just want everything to feel warm and welcoming and. And Wayfair makes it so easy to pull it all together. Get last minute hosting essentials, gifts for all your loved ones and decor to help celebrate the holidays. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style, every home. What else did we do over Thanksgiving? Oh, we watched the Age of disclosure.

[A]

The new UFO document about the UAPs.

[B]

UAE. UAPs. Yes.

[A]

Unidentified aerial phenomenon.

[B]

You know what's so crazy is this. This documentary is like the new craze because all these, like, government officials basically come out and they confirm that there's. This has been going on for years and they've been researching these crafts and.

[A]

They'Ve witnessed all of these crafts.

[B]

So we're watching this. And then how about your mom is like, oh yeah, I saw a UFO when I grew up.

[A]

No. Okay.

[B]

And then your aunt was like, oh yeah, I for sure saw ufo. And then my dad says, oh yeah, I saw a UFO in Rockwall.

[A]

But hold on, no, my mom has always talked about how she saw one grand. My mom said, oh, I saw one last month. In Florida. That's what she said.

[B]

She did say that. But she also talks about how one hovered over her car when she was growing up.

[A]

Yeah, she. She's told me that story since I was a little girl.

[B]

Yeah. And then your aunt had the same.

[A]

And they were driving out by a ton of Air Force vehicles, places. And then my aunt had the same thing happen when she was with her best friend or something. They were driving in the middle of nowhere and this big light, they saw the ufo, this big light shown down on them. And then their car just started, like, turned off and all the buttons started blinking and, like everything stopped working. And then whenever it went away, everything was fine again.

[B]

Yeah. And then my dad. What's his sleeper? I don't know. He never told me. He just said it around the campfire. He's like, oh, yeah, I saw one in rock wall. I was like, what do you mean? And he was like, yeah, I saw ufo.

[A]

He didn't ever, like, need to expand.

[B]

He didn't expand.

[A]

That's so your dad.

[B]

He just said, so your dad just moved on.

[A]

Yes. You want?

Yeah. I mean, there's definitely something going on out there.

[B]

Yeah. I don't really know what, but. And honestly, I don't feel like the documentary was that great. It, like, didn't share anything new per se, but it had a lot of legitimate government officials confirming it.

[A]

It's just the. What the document, what the documentary does is if you're on the fence about whether or not you believe in UFOs or another life out there or something, you know, extraterrestrial, it basically just like confirms that very legitimate people have been seeing these things and trying to figure out what these things are for years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so, yeah, that's got to make people that have seen them before feel better. I've never seen a ufo.

I don't know why, you know, why don't the aliens like me? It's the same thing. Why? Like, you know, my mom says she has, like a stalker and he calls her every day and he's like, I want to see your panties. And I was like, how come I've never had a stalker?

[B]

That is true. She did say that at Thanksgiving. Your dad even told me. He was like, jordan, what do we. What do we do? We got this guy.

[A]

I'm like, we can't tell you. I was like. And then my mom's like, and it's so annoying. You gotta be careful on Tick tock. It's like, all men. I was like, oh, I have no men. That. Follow me. She's like, it's all men just making creepy comments. And I was like, yep, I don't know how that feels. And I have a couple of friends on.

[B]

Like, to be fair, didn't your mom, like, get kicked off Amazon Lives because she flashed her entire audience or something?

[A]

I mean, I'll flash my audience. Nobody cares.

Nobody ever makes a note about that.

[B]

It is funny. Danny was actually genuinely offended. She was like, I don't understand. Why don't I have stalkers? Which is so the response that I would have, too.

[A]

I was totally kidding.

[B]

No, I. It's okay if you weren't. But I would feel the same way. I'd be like, wait a second.

[A]

Wait. You guys all have stalkers?

[B]

I was like, wait, why does no one care about me?

[A]

No, I was totally kidding. And I really don't want soccer. That's actually really, really creepy. I have a friend who's on social media who actually does have a stalker. But basically what I'm saying is, it's like sometimes it is a blessing to be just average looking.

[B]

Babe, she does this all the time. She's fishing for compliments. You're not average. You're not average looking. You're beautiful.

[A]

I am not fishing for compliments, babe. I know the truth. And I don't care. I have a great personality.

[B]

You do have a great personality.

[A]

I know. I don't care.

[B]

I'm not great body.

[A]

Okay. I'm just telling you, like, I know I'm not ugly. We talked about this so many times, but I know I'm not stalkable. Okay, I get it. I get it. Nobody wants to stalk me.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. Your mom's not getting rid of this guy, though. He's calling for blocked numbers. I don't know what she's going to do about it.

[A]

Yeah. If y' all have any advice about that, let us know. It's this guy that's blocked, that it's always the same guy.

[B]

Did he say where he falls?

[A]

He's like, let me send him a picture. And he'll be, oh, gone. Poof. He'll never contact you again. Just a selfie. He's like, oh. Up next.

No. So anyway, we were talking about the UAPs.

Yeah. I don't know. I would love to know in the comments, like, what people? Have you seen a ufo? You UAP people? What do you.

[B]

I bet a lot of people. I bet a lot of people will comment back that they have, but no one feels believed by it. Like, so they just Kind of move on and don't talk about it.

[A]

Well, I saw a demon, so I'm.

[B]

Like, I believe everything, but are they one of the same? That's the question.

[A]

You know, I. So it's so interesting. I.

I don't get demon vibes from the aliens, but maybe that's what they're there to do, is not seem like demons.

[B]

The funny thing about, like, this whole.

[A]

I think anything demonic would be. Is very, like.

[B]

The funny thing about. And if they were demonic, why they shut down our nukes? Because they. They hover over the nuclear sites, and they're like, hey, don't. Don't kill each other.

[A]

They're like, we know how this. Historians. Yeah.

[B]

They're like, please do not do this.

[A]

They're like, we just. It's a bad idea. They're like, we did this 3, 000 years ago on our planet. Ended up poorly. Now we all have to fly around on these flying saucers. It sucks. Like, we're just trying to help you out. We don't want to freak you out or anything.

[B]

What was it gonna say?

[A]

Maybe because if we blow each other up, it hurts them in some way. You know, they're on, like, the defense.

[B]

Yeah. Like, they just want us all to be, like, happy galaxy.

[A]

Maybe it affects them in some way.

[B]

It's good.

[A]

I wonder how it would affect them.

[B]

I was gonna say something.

[A]

Maybe because they're demonic and they need us all to be alive so they can, you know, do bad things.

[B]

Hold on. I'm trying to remember what I was gonna say to you.

I lost him.

[A]

You know, speaking of the aliens, I have been watching that show Pluribus. I love it.

[B]

So I don't like it.

[A]

Oh, so good. You're just such a contrarian.

[B]

No, it's not that I'm trying to be a contrarian. I just. I was expecting, like, to love something as much as I loved Breaking Bad, and I just didn't like it as much.

[A]

I like it better, probably.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What do you like about it?

[A]

I like that it's like nothing out there on tv. I've never seen anything like this before. And I like the fact that when I'm watching it, there's so many times where I'm like, oh, I expect for this to happen, or I know what they're gonna do, or there's gonna be a jump scare, or there's gonna be a this or that, because that's how every other show is. And then it's just not like. It's just actually a Lot more like a steady of a show than you would think. So then it's like my blood pressure isn't spiking every single time. By the third episode, I'm like, oh, I can relax. Like, there's nothing that's going to like. It's just. I don't know, it's just different. Yeah, it's like. It's like a peaceful thriller.

[B]

What. What episode are you on?

[A]

I guess three or four.

[B]

How many are there?

[A]

They're coming out, like, every Friday. So there's like, another one coming out this Friday. It's. It's really interesting and like, I can't. I couldn't have guessed anything that happens.

[B]

We started watching It's All Her Fault.

[A]

There's so many good shows out right now.

[B]

Is it that there's so many good shows, or are we just kind of in a mood where it's like, I think a lot of people are December.

[A]

No, there's a lot of good shows because I think a lot of them come out during the holidays because people have more time to watch them.

Trust me.

[B]

Like, yeah, it's all her fault. How would you rank that in terms of your shows right now?

[A]

So my favorite is Pluribus and Pluribus. And then I'm watching the Beast in Me, which I really like. It's pretty good. And that one's like, also kind of like, I don't know what's going to happen and. But it's all her fault. Probably. Besides the music choices, it probably is, like, equal to the beast in me.

[B]

Yeah, it's all her Fault. Does a really, really good job at captivating and relating to women and moms. Yeah, like, brilliant.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like true crime meets plausible scenario that could happen to a mom. Slash, every feeling and emotion and mom guilt. A mom feels like, just nailed the audience.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. No, it is really good. Isn't there another show? We're watching Landman. Landman. See, there's just so many good things right now.

[B]

But you're behind on Landman.

[A]

I know. I see. I started scrolling on the first episode of the second season, Landman, and I'm just so lost now.

[B]

Well, you. You've been scrolling through a lot of our TV shows, and then every five minutes you pause and you say, wait, can you catch me up? And what just happened, like, last night was. I didn't say anything.

[A]

It's kind of annoying because you were.

[B]

Feeling pregnant and stuff.

[A]

But it's cyber. It's Cyber Week. That's why.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

So I'M shopping or I'm sharing sales.

[B]

Okay, well, that's fine, but every five minutes you were like, okay, wait, stop.

[A]

Can you catch me?

[B]

Catch me up.

[A]

What did he say?

[B]

Yeah, and that's okay.

[A]

I know, I know.

So, yeah, that's been good. A lot of shows and food.

[B]

So I've been thinking about gifts a lot this year. And not the usual stuff like gadgets or sweaters. I mean, the gifts that actually matter. And honestly, the older I get, the more I realize the only gift that really matters is more years with the people you love. That's one of the big reasons I chose Function Health. It's the only health platform that gives me data most people never get and the insights to actually start doing something about it. Inside function, you get access to over 160 lab tests annually. Hormones, toxins, heart health, inflammation, stress, literally everything you want to know about what's going on inside your body. And for an additional fee, you can add MRI and chest CT scans, all tracked in one secure place. It's the closest thing I've ever seen to a real 360 view of your health. And the coolest part, this isn't some random startup making big claims. Top health leaders like Dr. Mark Hyman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and Dr. Jeremy London are all behind function. When people like that are supporting something, it gets my attention. And honestly, I use this. And you should, too. Since it's December, I've been thinking about gifting. And function is such a meaningful one. Most gifts fade or end up in a drawer, but this one actually helps your loved ones stay informed and proactive. For the person who has everything, this is the gift they actually use. It gives them clarity, confidence, and peace of mind all year long. I'm personally gifting it to a couple people in my family because I want us to have as many healthy years together as we can. And I can't think of anything more valuable than that. Own your health for $365 a year. That's a dollar a day. Learn more and join using our link. Visit functionhealth.comdanny or use code Danny25 for a $25 credit towards your membership. You ever have that moment in December where you check your calendar and suddenly realize you've got people coming over tomorrow? It happens to me every single year. I'll think we're in the clear. And then, boom, family is on the way. The kids are asking what's for dinner? And I'm opening the freezer, like, all right, what are we working with? That's honestly why I've come to rely on Omaha Steaks, especially around the holidays. It's the easiest way to make hosting feel effortless. Their boxes show up packed perfectly, everything looks high quality and the food is actually good, like restaurant level good. From the USDA certified tender steak to the burgers, the chicken and even the desserts, they've basically got your whole spread handled. What really sold me though, is how consistent it is. Every steak is aged for tenderness and hand cut by master butchers. You can taste the difference and I'm a big believer in using products from people who really know what they're doing. Omaha Steaks has been around for five generations, since 1917. That's over 100 years of knowing meat inside and out. They also make gift giving ridiculously easy. We've sent boxes to family before and everyone loves it. It's practical, it's impressive, and you know they'll actually use it. The variety alone makes it perfect. Steaks, pork, seafood, comfort meals. There's something for every type of cook and every level of effort you're willing to put in. And if you're in a time crunch, orders placed by 6:00pm Eastern Standard Ship same day, which is a lifesaver for last minute planners like me save big on gourmet gifts and more holiday favorites with omaha steaks. Visit OmahaSteaks.com for 50% off site wide during their Sizzle all the Way sale and for an extra $35 off, use promo D Influence at checkout. Terms apply. See site for details. That's Omaha Steaks.com, code D influence.

[A]

So as my due date gets closer, I've had so many little things running through my head. The appointments, the planning, the do I have everything I need moments. Pregnancy is a whole emotional roller coaster and I'm trying to control what I can control. And for me, one of the things that gives me peace of mind is knowing I'm getting key nutrients to support this pregnancy. That's why I chose Ritual's Essential Prenatal. I love that Ritual is really intentional about what goes into their formulas. Everything is traceable, clean, and you can literally see the ingredients on their website with things like choline, folate and omega 3. It makes me feel like I'm supporting my body through all the changes happening right now. I've tried other prenatals and some of them were just rough, but ritual has this lemony essence that makes taking them so much easier. And it's gentle on my stomach. I don't dread it, which is saying a lot plus it's the number one best selling prenatal and they're the only leading prenatal backed by their own human clinical trial. Essential prenatal was shown to help deliver key nutrients including folate, biotin and vitamin D. And moms taking ritual had a lower overall cortisol level during pregnancy compared to a leading prenatal. I also love that they select bioavailable key nutrients designed for optimal absorption like their methylated folate which was clinically proven to be well absorbed and showed more efficient utilization versus a leading prenatal with folic acid. And the convenience is unmatched. It's HSA, FSA eligible so you can save when you shop with pre tax dollars and the subscription makes it easy to stay consistent. Don't settle for less than evidence based Support my listeners. Get 25% off your first month at ritual.comd influence. That's ritual.comd influence for 25% off your first month. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[B]

What. What's the update on Nashville?

[A]

I've been looking at the lands out there, the topography, you know, just getting a feel for when the.

[B]

Are we still at 60?

[A]

I don't know, man. I mean, I want to go back out there. There's like a couple of houses I really want to check out. We're applying to Stella to a couple schools that we're obsessed with. So. So we're gonna see what happens there and then. But yeah, we can't go out for quite some. A couple more weeks.

[B]

Are you not coming with me this weekend?

[A]

No.

[B]

You decided? No.

[A]

You know, babe, that's one thing about me. It's like I make a commitment, I stick to it. I'm either 100 or 100. I. There's. I have a couple commitments I cannot break this weekend. One of them is the Nutcracker with my girl.

And I'm telling you, we. We booked this probably two weeks ago. Okay. So me and the girls are seeing the Nutcracker and I would feel horrible if I missed.

[B]

What if you came back on Sunday for the Nutcracker?

[A]

No, because the number one reason is because the Christmas party.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

One of my other friends is having a fabulous Christmas party. She spends like all year, you know, and I wasn't able to go last year, so I will be there. Actually, I ordered a bunch of dresses I really need to try on. Kind of scared about that.

So. Yeah, I'm sorry.

[B]

It's okay. I have to. The main stressor that I have is that we have to take Stella and Stratton to the school for an observation. And I am very stressed about doing Stella's hair in the morning. I'm being honest. I don't.

[A]

I. I'm going to teach you how to just do a simple ponytail and hopefully she'll just let you. And like.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I'll get you some of this, like, waxy stuff and just, just slick it back.

[B]

Let's practice that tonight. Because he's.

[A]

He woke up stressing about it.

[B]

Well, and then I was like. I was like, oh, I'll just drive over to land and Olivia's. And Olivia can do her hair, but she's going to be here at this Christmas party.

[A]

Oh, yeah, I know. Can you ask Shawn Johnson.

[B]

I'm not going to show up at their house on why at 7:30 on a Saturday and say, can you do my daughter's hair?

[A]

She'll be doing all of like her other kids hairs.

Cute.

[B]

I mean, she probably would do it. She's.

[A]

She's Olympian. This is probably very easy for her.

[B]

She's always up at 5 working out.

[A]

I love following them.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

I've really been following them, like, closely lately and they're just amazing people. No, they, like, live life like Olympians.

[B]

No, they are.

[A]

I know. I know. She is.

[B]

Their kids are wild. No, I think they're so athletic.

[A]

But like them as a couple, too. It's just.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They're just a lead.

[B]

No, I'm telling you, if we move to Nashville, I feel like they're going to be our best friends.

[A]

I know.

[B]

I mean, I don't want to. I don't want to push that on them. But.

[A]

But like, for the first time, I don't know if I can keep up.

[B]

No. With them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No, no, don't even try.

[A]

No, I'm not going to. But like, even. Just like, the things that they'd want to do, I'd be like, guys, mama has to take a nap. You can't just go from lunch to pickleball to tennis to pickleball to dinner.

[B]

I don't think they do that. They. They don't nap.

[A]

No, I know. So I'm saying. And then they probably just like bring all their kids everywhere. And then their kids are just really talented at everything. And my kids are like, the grass. There's an ant pile. I just. I don't know.

[B]

I did take Stella and Stratton over to their house and like, their son was basically, like, riding the golden retriever dog like a bronco. And when our kids walked in, they freaked out over this dog. Like, they had to put the dog away because they. It was hysterical.

[A]

That's what I'm saying. It's like.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, I don't think we can keep up in that way.

[B]

Yeah, it's fine. Do. Do.

[A]

But the cool thing about them is, like, they're the type of people that, like, you hang out with and they make you better. Yeah.

[B]

One.

[A]

They're like, put your freaking sneakers on. We're going for a jock. We're doing the turkey trot this year.

And you're like, yes, best friend.

[B]

Honestly, we need some people like that in our life.

[A]

No, for sure, because I'm sick of being that person.

[B]

She's kidding. She's kidding.

[A]

Wait.

[B]

Oh, I'm so sorry. She's not kidding. You are that person. I'm so sorry.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. It's not that funny. Okay, Wicked is out. Haven't seen it yet. There's been some pretty interesting conversations about Ariana and. What's the other girl's name? Cynthia. Yeah, Cynthia.

Just not looking the healthiest they've ever looked.

[B]

Both of them.

Are we allowed to say they're odd? Like.

[A]

Like, outside of just.

[B]

Just like. Yeah, outside of anything. Like, they're just. They're just kind of odd people, right?

[A]

I think they're just, like. Kind of like.

[B]

Are they playing a character? Are they just, like, that weird?

[A]

I think they're just like. It's like the theater kids. You know, the theater kids are just kind of.

[B]

It feels like it's like delusions of grandeur. Like, they actually think that they're these, like, princesses or witches and. What is it? What's Glinda Prince?

[A]

I don't know. Arian always felt so relatable to me, and then now she just said.

[B]

And Cynthia, their dynamic, like, did they. Did they.

[A]

They. It's like they took a blood oath.

[B]

And are, like, 100.

[A]

It's like they're like.

[B]

Like, have you seen where people, like, touch Ariana and then she's like. Like, she, like, acts like she's, like, collapsing. It's like, what. Like, what is going on in your brain to where you think that normal people.

[A]

I don't know, they. They do seem very, like, weak and that they need each other. I don't know. Honestly, though, I. I don't really have a lot to say about this because I don't know what it's like.

You know, filming those Hours and performing the way that they do. Like, I'm sure you build, like, such a. Just like, insane bond with your people that you film with.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, so I feel like they probably have this, like, insane bond together now. But also, sometimes I just think about.

[B]

Like, could you imagine going to dinner with them?

[A]

Them.

[B]

It'd be miserable. It's like, what it. Like, they're just like. The whole time, maybe when the camera's all up, they're like, normal. They go out of character.

[A]

Yeah, I'm sure. I'm sure. I. Yeah, but people are more so saying maybe they're, like, feeding off of each other in a negative way because of their. Like, they just don't look like they're really taking care of themselves.

[B]

Like, what, skinny?

[A]

Yeah, they're just like, don't look the healthiest that they've ever looked. Looked. And so, you know.

[B]

Oh, I never saw that.

[A]

Oh, yeah. They just both look a little like. People are saying they're, like, emaciated.

[B]

Well, they're probably overworked.

[A]

Yeah. But I don't know. This looks a little.

You know, I don't like to comment on this type of stuff, but, like, it. I. It is a little scary.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Oh, so. Which is like, also, if they are struggling with something, it is like a mental. Like a mental disease. So it's like, you know, you just hope that people can get better because that can actually be really scary.

[B]

Oh, I'm sorry I was mean to them.

[A]

Yeah, no, it's okay. I. You didn't really know.

[B]

I didn't know where we were going, but.

[A]

No, but I know both can be true.

[B]

They can be emaciated and just a little odd and just weird.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, who knows?

[B]

Separate issues. Separate issues.

[A]

All I know is, like, I would. I just want them to be happy and healthy.

[B]

That's very kind.

[A]

Love. Send love.

So, yeah, I haven't seen that movie. I don't know why. I don't really feel like seeing it.

[B]

I don't either. I watched the whole first one and the only thing that got sent chills down my spine was the last scene.

[A]

You gotta see Wicked, like, on Broadway.

[B]

People say so. People say it's just.

[A]

It'll send chills.

[B]

I'll tell you this, the. The movie isn't doing me any favors of wanting to see the play.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I'll say that much.

[A]

That's okay. I feel like most people that had wanted. Wanted to see it had already seen it.

[B]

That's. That's fair. Like, they wanted it to be recreated on the big screen. Because they loved the.

[A]

Yeah, it's, like, seen the Broadway show and, like, it was time, you know, to come up with the movie and, like. Yeah, yeah. So. And they probably would. Made way more money from the movie.

[B]

Than the Broadway show.

[A]

Well, I don't know. They've had that Broadway show on for years, but now it's like. It's a huge thing. Look at this.

My favorite collab still is the base luggage. Wicked collab. Because pink and green, which are my two favorite colors, and so I got one of each. It's the cutest base luggage ever.

[B]

But you still want new luggage for Christmas.

[A]

Luggage is just like.

It's like shoes.

[B]

Okay. So, yes.

[A]

Not big suitcases, but the carry ons.

[B]

Yeah. You still want a new carry on for Christmas.

[A]

I like that. How do you say it? Ramoa brand. They have this, like, really bright, juicy red color, like a cherry red that I think is really pretty. But, you know, I don't really need anything.

[B]

But you want a new suitcase for Christmas?

[A]

Sure, babe.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

The only thing I really need and want are, like, massages. So if anybody out there wants to just. That's all I ever really want. Massages. And then more massages. I can never have enough massages. I take one right now. I'd walk out on this podcast to get a massage for Christmas.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Alrighty. Let's move on to our segments for today. Things that make you go.

Topic number one is having a boyfriend cringe. There's a Vogue article going viral that is definitely making us go. The writer claims having a boyfriend is becoming cringe and that being single is now the more desirable empowered status. She even argues that the whole traditional relationship model is a failed fairy tale that never really benefited women.

Sorry. People are just so stupid sometimes. The article blame social media. The article blames social media for making people feel embarrassed to show they're in a committed relationship. It says the Internet rewards the mysterious, independent image and treats anything sincere or stable as uncool or cheesy. The overall tone suggests that vulnerability and connection are weaknesses. I. I'm seriously like, are we in upside down world? Like, it frames posting a partner as something people avoid to protect their image, and it glorifies total independence as the new ideal.

[B]

I'm gonna be honest. I kind of agree with this article.

[A]

Okay, let me just. We got.

[B]

Yeah, keep going.

[A]

But quote from the article. Obviously there is no shame in falling in love, but there's also no shame in trying and failing to find it or not. Trying at all. And as long as we're openly rethinking and criticizing heteronor. Heteronormativity. Heteronormativity, quote unquote, having a boyfriend will remain a somewhat fragile or even contentious concept within public life. This is also happening alongside a wave of women reclaiming and romanticizing their single life. Where being single was once a cautionary tale, quote, you'll end up a spinster with loads of cats. It is now becoming a desirable and coveted status. Another nail in the coffin of a centuries old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to begin with.

[B]

Sorry, she lost me at the end. So is she saying.

[A]

Yeah, I'm like, wait, is she confirming what I believe or is not?

[B]

Yeah. Can you read the last part again?

[A]

Well, now she's saying, another nail in the coffin of a centuries old heterosexual fairy tale that never really benefited women to be begin with.

[B]

So she's against boyfriend, right?

[A]

Yeah, she's against boyfriends.

[B]

Oh, she's against boyfriends.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So she's saying having a boyfriend is cringe. She's not commenting on why people are not posting their boyfriends.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think it's a little bit of both. Okay. I think that's kind of her viewpoint because of the way society treats it. Okay, so what I was agreeing with is that I think that.

So I think females on social media are so interesting because.

I do think that there are these like, narrative arcs that like, no one actually wants to uphold, but they are upholding them. Like, for example, I could see females not wanting to post their boyfriends because they want to be perceived as like, independent or like, perceived to be part of the group. Think that like, men suck and no one's. All the men are non committal. And I do think that like, females do dogpile on some of these, like, narratives. Like, for example, like, let's take like Alex Earl and Braxton Berrios, for example. If they broke up, no shot in hell that Braxton is coming out looking for.

[A]

And we're all like, Alex Earle is.

[B]

Great no matter what happened. Like, she could have cheated, cheated on him. She could have been the cause and the reason. But like, no way that females are ever going to side with like, the truth. Because the narrative of like, men suck and he probably cheated is so much more powerful than like, but what happened.

[A]

With Blake Laveland just Baldoni. The opposite.

[B]

Yeah. But that's only because she has such a toxic reputation. She's the exception, not the rule. Like, everyone knew that she sucked, right? It's the same thing with like, something happened with, like, JLo. Like, they'd be like, yeah, she sucked. There are very few females out there that are polarizing where people are like, I hate her. But, like, in general, these female narratives are so strong that I actually could see females being like, I'm in a really amazing relationship with a boyfriend, but I don't want the Internet to know that or my followers to know that, because then it takes me out of this status.

[A]

It takes my power away.

[B]

Yeah, it takes my power away. Or it. I mean, this is like a maybe controversial take, but, like, it removes me from the victimhood status of like, oh, like, men are not always the problem. Like, I don't know. But it. I think females get so they're so careful with their images online that I could see why posting a boyfriend or being in a happy relationship actually works against the algorithm, not for the algorithm. Does that make sense?

[A]

Yeah, so, because. So I guess we're talking specifically about having a boyfriend online.

[B]

Yeah, having a boyfriend online. And I could see females not wanting to post that or hard launch that in a way. Like, it used to be like, that means that I'm choosable, I'm pickable. But now I feel like it means, like, I'm not independent, I'm not strong, I'm going against the norm.

[A]

But do you think that the reason why the Internet is loving this narrative so much is because the Internet, the females on the Internet overall are having a hard time finding a boyfriend?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So then they. They like the Modern Wisdom podcast that we listen to with. He had. I forgot who was on it, but he was like a song sociologist. And one of the quotes from it is, if you can't get what you want, you must teach yourself to want what you can get. So it's like if you are someone that, you know, always wanted to be wealthy, you always wanted to be wealthy, you always wanted a ton of money, but you couldn't do it then. You always have to now teach yourself that, man, rich people are unhappy. Like, I would never want to have that much money. I would never want to be successful like that. They have, they're just have frauds, they're fraudulent. Like, I'm so much happier being humble and not having enough. Like, you know, so you kind of convince yourself that what you wanted now, like, because you can't get it, you don't really want it anymore for sure. And so I think that there's a lot of females online that are having a hard time meeting men because Men now have a bajillion options with all of the apps and all of the social media, and men are just also, like, less committal. And so now I think secret, like, deep down, women are just angry at men.

[B]

Yeah, no, and I think that is true. And I do think men do suck for that reason. And I'm. I'm totally on side with that. But now it's become. You're in the minority if you have a boyfriend, that is a good, healthy relationship. And I think it becomes like, an identity issue in the weirdest way possible. Like, you used to be weird if you didn't have a boyfriend. Now you're weird if you have a boyfriend because the problem is so large.

[A]

It's like when Alex Cooper got married, I feel like that was her downfall. Like, now people do not like her.

[B]

At all because she's not relatable.

[A]

She's, like, not relatable. And I think that when she was single and talking about all these men, we're all like, she could do no wrong because she was talking about all these, like, stories, dating and da, da, da. And like, we, like, we were like, oh, man, she's the victim to all these crazy men that she's, you know. And now that she has this stable relationship, we're like, you're just entitled and annoying now.

[B]

Like, yeah, no, I. And that's what's crazy is, like, I think that that's a huge problem. If, like, the group think social herd mentality is like, independent men suck, don't have a boyfriend, then, like, people are less likely to post happy, healthy relationships. And because there's less people posting that, it just perpetuates the group think. And like, the social contagion of like.

[A]

I think another exception, though, are couples that share kind of not equally, but both share themselves online. Like, when you. There are some couples, like, I think of Arielle and Matt, like, because they both have a presence and because they both seem like they're supporting, supporting each other. I love them both. Like, and I'm like, oh, they're such a great couple. Like, I love to follow them. Like, even if I was single, I'd be like, they're just so fun and relatable. It's almost like when women have boyfriends that they don't post about or, like, they barely post about. And like, you don't really. You know what I mean? Yeah, they just, like, don't open their lives to it and then it just makes you. I would imagine it would make a lot of women feel insecure or jealous or like, so we, we prefer to. It's like when I'm pregnant, I'm like, yeah, sorry, I don't really want to go see like a movie with a bunch of girls in a bikini. Not that I don't. I don't. That I don't like you guys. Like, you guys are great, but I just. I'm really not in the mood. I just don't want to do it.

[B]

But the, the relatability for like an Alex Cooper, for example, like, then the relatability becomes like very self deprecating. It's like the relatability is like, men suck. I'm unhappy, I'm single. I'm perpetually single. And like, you're just trapped in your own cycle, right? Yeah, I don't know. Like, so what's the point? This author is making that, that men. That this is a problem.

[A]

So. Well, one of our questions is calling relationships cringe a luxury belief. So there's also like a whole nother.

[B]

So it can't be that deep. She's saying, okay, hold on.

[A]

It's a luxury belief.

[B]

Sometimes I have to take a deep breath and really process what some of these authors and journalists are saying. Okay, so she's saying having a boyfriend.

[A]

Is calling relationships cringe a luxury belief.

Luxury beliefs are something that you believe because you basically were raised in privilege. So you have this like, belief because. Cause you always had it. So this podcast that I listened to, one of the most interesting, like, points that it was making is all the majority of the women that are saying having a boyfriend is cringe have boyfriends secretly, and they are typically like, well educated, like above middle class, like educated, not wealthy, but like, you know, well off women that are making this, this.

[B]

Oh, so the article is basically saying like, this is.

[A]

The article is different. This is the podcast.

[B]

I know, but it's kind of the same because they're saying, like, in theory it would be a luxury belief because the people who are saying that having a boyfriend is cringe are people with boyfriends and committed relationships and they're influencing like the.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Huh. Why would they do that? Oh, you had a theory in the car. Remember.

Your theory in the car? I said, why the heck would they do that? Just to self sabotage.

[A]

So I think women are very territorial, especially when you start to feel like your.

Options or like your. What you need is becoming scarce. So you. It's kind of like when people are like, I want to become a blogger and like, we sometimes, like the OGs feel a little threatened so we're like, trust me, you don't. It's so hard. You would hate it. Like, it's the hardest job ever. Like, you don't want this life. Trust me. You should go be a teacher. You know? And, like, secretly we're like, it is hard and it is like, we just don't want more competition sometimes. I'm not saying I do that, Vicious. Oh, totally. Girls are so like this. I'm like, the girls are like, I want that new iPhone. The camera's not really that good. It doesn't really make a difference because I don't want you to have better pictures than me. Like, I'm just making this stuff up.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Like, I don't want you to get. I don't want you to know my secrets. So I think when it becomes something that is so, like, I don't know, just so innate within us, which is, like, to be chosen and for, like a. Like, find a man, and they feel so scarce, we, maybe the women at the top are like, you know, we all kind of feel competitive each other, so we're trying to influence women to be single so that we have more options ourselves, subconsciously. Yeah. It's not even really that subcon. It's just kind of a fact. Girls do that.

[B]

So. Yeah, you told me this in the car, and I was baffled by it.

[A]

I mean, I. I'm trying to get my mindset in. In that way.

[B]

And like, yeah, like, why was someone with a boyfriend would try and create this narrative that having one is cringe.

[A]

Because we want. Yeah, because it feels like it's something that is. What's the word? Scarce.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

It's like caveman. Cave woman.

[B]

What happened to women supporting women? Wasn't that, like, Yalls motto?

[A]

Yeah, we do that. We do that too. We do it all.

[B]

Do you really do it, though?

[A]

Yeah, it just depends on what type of day it is.

I heard Stella. This is so, like, off topic, but I heard Stella this morning do something so sneaky and manipulative. So she's been doing this a lot where she'll be like, hey, Bubba, go ask daddy. What did. What did Stratton come in and ask.

[B]

You about this morning if you could watch a show?

[A]

Yeah, So I heard her. She goes, hey, Bubba, I was talking to Mommy. Go ask daddy if we can watch a show. And you know, Stratton's like, hey, Daddy, can we watch a show? And you're like, no. And then Stella walks in and she. She goes, what'd you ask? What'd you Ask Daddy. Acted like she didn't know. What? She's five. She was acting like she didn't know what the whole conversation that you and Shannon had just had. But she's the one that sent him in there to say it. So she comes in and she's like, what, Bubba? We can't watch a show Silly.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Women are just. We're like, yeah, I try not to be that way.

[B]

No, you're chill.

[A]

I try to be cool.

[B]

You're chill.

[A]

I try to be honest, you know, like, if there's something I really want, like, you better watch out.

[B]

I, I. Yeah, I know. I know. I'm like, actually, my biggest revelation is not this silly author of this article. It's more just like me replaying the past eight years of our marriage and being like, oh, that's probably what was going on there.

[A]

But, no, there's something about women doing it to other women.

[B]

It's like, yeah, it's like the satisfaction's.

[A]

Higher when y' all are like, no, it's not that. It's just, like, so.

Innate.

I think the competition has always. It's always been there, because I think that. And I don't know why, like, what this stems from, but, like, I've always felt like girls had to be chosen, you know? And I think that's why a lot of girls in Dallas, like, end up moving when they're single in their 20s and stuff. They end up moving to other cities or they. They have a really hard time because there's so many beautiful, successful, single women here, and the ratio of, like, to men is, like, insane. So, like, the games they have to play to get noticed, it's like, it's hard, probably.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's survival of the fittest out there for you guys.

[A]

No, it is. That's why girls are that. That is the root of why girls are mean to each other. 100.

[B]

Well, I will say that, like, just watching your Internet career over the past six or.

[A]

Sorry, can I say one other thing? But don't forget what you're gonna say.

[B]

It's always women that are mean to you.

[A]

Because here's another thing I think that we know. And PTA moms, I think that we know to elevate because we're. We're not as weak. Oh. As strong as the male. Like, I'm not saying, you know, just, like, in general, you know, I think we know we need a tribe. Like, we know that we need other girls supporting us. So. But then it becomes like. But then there's also like, jealousy and competition. And so you're also trying to build your tribe, like, to help you succeed or to grow. So, like, that's why things get really manipulative with other women, too, or, like competition or, like, gossiping or, you know, all of that, because we know we can't do it alone, but we also don't want to compete with you. So it's like, it's kind of hard.

[B]

How do you survive?

[A]

Like, well, this is what I always did. This is what I always did. I always hung out with, like, the pretty girls because typically they attracted the normal guys, and I would always get at least, like, the fifth one down. And he was still pretty normal.

[B]

But even that is you competing to survive. You just had a different strategy.

[A]

My strategy was to be the cheapest house on the street.

[B]

The cheapest house on the street. You shouldn't say that about yourself.

[A]

No, it's okay. I'm telling you, it was smart.

[B]

The cheapest house on the street.

[A]

I hang out with all of the really expensive houses, and that means that my. My value is going to go up because I'm. I'm hanging out with a $2 million house, $3 million house, a 4 million. So I'm at least a million. But if I go hang out with $100,000 houses and I'm the best house on the street, I'm really just 300,000.

[B]

So if there's a million. If there was another female sitting in this seat instead of me, she would be like, yeah, totally. Like, she would understand everything that you're saying. Just as a female.

[A]

I think if she were really honest with her yourself.

[B]

Oh, that's the difference.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think women want to admit this.

[B]

You're just a truth teller.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I just.

[B]

You're breaking.

[A]

To be honest, I'm. To be honest with you, I don't.

I don't really feel like. I feel like I already got, like, the things that I felt were scarce and I was scared of. So I don't really feel like I have to be competitive with any. Anyone.

[B]

Oh, that makes sense. Like, you like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Like you.

[A]

Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I don't really. There's nothing that I feel competitive with now. I feel competitive over men sometimes. With men? Not over men. With men. Yeah.

[B]

Oh. Oh. So you're at the phase where you're, like, trying to break.

[A]

I don't know. I don't know if there's like, really, like a. Like a theory on this. I'm just saying there's nothing like, I'm not trying to find a husband. I am not trying to find a house. I'm not trying to find a job. I'm not trying to find, like, that security. Like, now I just, like, genuinely, like, one. Friends, like, I just want friends that I can like, grow and hang out with. And all of us are very, like, all my friends were very, like, confident in our relationships. So I don't think that we ever. Yeah. Like, it would be really hard to be one of those Mormon wives where you're doing all that swinging and stuff. There's probably. That's why you see so much drama between the group because, like, now there's, like, they're competing for the men with.

[B]

Yeah. Within.

[A]

So now they also have to take each other down. And it's like, within their little tribe. It's.

[B]

It's vicious.

[A]

It's vicious out there. So, yeah, I feel very. I feel very secure, like, in life. Yeah. My friend group. I don't feel like any of the wives are coming after you. Like, I don't feel like, you know, I don't feel threatened.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I don't feel competitive.

[B]

You better watch out. I might get some stalkers lately.

I'm like, hey, wants to stalk me.

[A]

And I'm gonna be like, okay, so what did you like about him? What was it? Was it his hair? This is a smile. He's still working on his back, Right. It's cute, right?

[B]

Oh, that's funny, man. I'm. That's wild.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, this. This conversation kind of go. We kind of went all over the place. Place with it because there's like, what are your thoughts on, like, this social media aspect of it? Why is the government focusing on clothing instead of fixing. Oh, sorry.

[B]

Yeah, I was like, change topics.

[A]

Why.

[B]

Why is man, like, raising daughters? Raising a daughter is going to be hard.

[A]

Does the Internet punish happy relationships? Influencer perspective on posting relationships? Is pretending you don't care actually the cringier thing?

Oh, those are good questions.

[B]

Yeah. This is just getting into, like, such nuanced, deep tracks. Like, I just.

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like if Alex Earl was posting like she didn't care, it would be.

Inauthentic. But I don't think people would see it that way. But I think that, like, deep down, I think that people, like, put up this front like they don't care because they care so deeply.

[B]

That's. That's what I struggle with. I think just, like, being around Content creators for, like, the past eight years. Specifically, like, female content creators. Like, I feel like being behind the scenes and, like, knowing a lot of the husbands. It's like watching this next generation of content creators create content and try and build this narrative of, like, who they are and what their identities are and all this kind of stuff, while knowing, like, probably what's going on behind the scenes has been so hard for me because I'm like. And then seeing the comments. That's why, like, I give this example of, like, you know, breakups that have happened or what have you. And, like, the guys are. There's just no way they're winning. They are just totally.

[A]

Like, when we were posting relationships, like, when we were posting dating, like, back in our people were happy for us. People loved the relationships. Like, if you didn't have a boyfriend, you weren't as interesting to follow.

[B]

And that's why I think it's a divide. It's almost probably, like, geographically in the US A divide. Like, I cannot imagine, you know, those couples accounts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, the Cordals or like, you know, the Matt Navy, whoever. Like, they get a lot of hate. But, like, whoever the couple account is, like, I feel like central Midwest, you know, audiences probably love those accounts.

[A]

Like, if you look at their Very aspirational. It's what.

[B]

It's what they want.

[A]

I remember. I remember being in, like, right out of college, and I started following. Let me think.

Oh, my gosh. Barefoot. Not barefoot. Blonde. Who's the girl that. Amber. Not Amber. Women. Sucks. Who's the girl that came out with Day?

[B]

Amber? Philip.

[A]

I remember following Amber. Phillip. And she had a boyfriend and she had kids, and she was like, my age, maybe a little bit older than me. And I remember right out of college. I don't. I wasn't even married. I started following her, and I loved following her because it was so like, I want this one day. One day. I want the husband, I want the kids. It was so aspirational. I. I pretty much only followed married women. Like, I did not follow any single woman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that was okay. Like, that was, like, the norm. And that was like, what we were all. So I think when we got married and our friends got married, everybody was like this. We, like, if you didn't post, if you posted a picture or anything with your boyfriend or your husband, it got way more engagement and people liked you so much more.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But then I think that it's just the conversation has, like, shifted. It's like the tinks of. Of the worlds and these, like, single Women.

[B]

Alex Cooper.

[A]

And then you have all of these, like, you know, elite, like, luxury beliefs coming in that, you know, maybe these women that have these beliefs, it's like, they also don't really need the security because they come from families that are already taking care of them. It's like, a lot of us, like, needed to get married to, like, take care of ourselves, too. And then you have these women that are, like, educated, supported by their dads, you know, never had to pay for colleges, never had to do anything. Like, they're fine doing it on their own because they're secretly supported in other ways.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It also is just, like, a statistical fact that, like, married women are so much like. And I don't know if it's women with families or married women, like, are so much happier.

And I think it's like, the rich women that are not married are the ones that are unhappy.

[B]

Rich, rich women who are unmarried.

[A]

Yeah. Like, I think women that don't have a lot of resources, like, want to get married. They don't want to have to carry all the responsibility by themselves. They don't want to have children by themselves.

But you have this luxury beliefs coming in because they're like, well, grandparents will take care of us, and da, da, da will take care of us. And it's a luxury belief. Like, yeah, you can be single because you can afford it, and it doesn't affect you as much.

[B]

Yeah, Alex. Alex. Earl kind of does break that barrier because she seems like she's in, like, a committed, healthy relationship, but she could so easily be, like, men suck. Like, you know that type of.

[A]

But I'm not gonna lie to you. There was, like, rumors that she and. She and Braxton broke up.

During Dancing with the Stars. And I read it, and I kind of. I'm gonna be honest. I kind of was like, he sucks. Good for her. Like, I'm excited to see what she does next.

[B]

Why? He seems like a great guy.

[A]

I know. I know. It had nothing to do with him. I was just, like.

[B]

Because you wanted her to be more independent?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Or you were, like, bored with her narrative with him.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it just, like, new content? Basically, yeah.

[A]

Maybe, like, it was taking it back to her roots.

[B]

Like, her old content because you want it, but, like.

[A]

Cause maybe her. Her boyfriend era just seems, like, not as interesting.

[B]

But see, that's. That's what's so sad is, like, just from the guy's point of view, like, let's say Braxton was a loyal, awesome, like, respectable, like, treated her well, husband material, dude. And y' all are like, nah, I'm bored with it.

[A]

Like, that's the thing. We like him. We like him. We just don't.

[B]

It's like, this is boring, but this is.

[A]

Yeah, it's like. It's just like, we wanna, like, if you can rewatch the love story, why not?

[B]

But this is part of, like, the danger of the social media contagion is like, everything is just like, your life becomes this, like, entertainment platform, when in reality, like, you know, the way that God designed it is right there. But the Internet, especially for females, like, because of envy and jealousy and all these things, it ends up prioritizing the story of the Internet, which we know is not the actual story of real life, but it's such a. It's such a driver for females in particular. It's like, it's everything, you know? And I think that that's why people are like, oh, like, boyfriends are cringe. Or people are, like, literally willing to not share their happily committed boyfriend relationship because they want to be a part of this narrative in this social proof that they get from other females more than anything in the world. Yeah, it's really messed up. It's like a giant social experiment that's playing out on the global stage and affecting, like, whether people get married or not or whether they want to be committed. And so, like, the guys on the other end are like, you know, I'm almost. I'm almost better being, like, a chaotic, bad dude because it's better for content and it's better for the entertainment value of the platform.

[A]

But I think men, like, historically have always. Not the good guys, but have always, like, wanted to keep their options open. Dated multiple women, like, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I feel like historically, it's always been like, it's fine because he's a guy so he can date, like, more multiple women. It's like, not a big deal. Go on dates with this girl and then this girl and then this girl. But if a girl does that, then. And so I think that's where the pendulum is swinging, because it's like, so Alex Cooper comes along, and she does the same thing, and we're all like, you know what? For the first time. And I'm not saying we like me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm saying, like, the Internet is like, you know what? She's doing what every other guy guy does. Why can't she do that? You know? And so then that. It's just like, the pendulum is, like, always swinging back and forth and. And, like, right now it's on this era of, like, female empowerment and, like.

[B]

Taking your power back. Like, oh, men did it. So, like, now we're gonna do it.

[A]

Yeah. Kind of.

[B]

Probably right. Yeah.

[A]

You know?

[B]

Yeah. I'm not saying it's fair, but I feel like.

I don't think the end state for females is going to end up in a happier place.

[A]

Yeah, I agree.

[B]

Just like you would tell any guy, like, hey, you sleeping around, you think it's going to make you happy. But every guy who goes through that era is like, man, I'm actually really lonely and unhappy and depressed. Right, right. And so.

[A]

But they never had to be held accountable for, like, all of the women that they hurt. So then that's when the women are, like, coming out of the woodwork, being.

[B]

Like, I'm taking my power. Yeah, I get it. I get it.

I think if you have a boyfriend, you should post them on the Internet.

[A]

I mean, it's the same thing with.

[B]

Like, get the content going.

[A]

It's the same thing with, like, Bill Clinton and what's her face with the blue dress. Monica came out as, like, the slat. And they both. Two takes, two to tango. And she came out as, like, the one that looks bad. And so now people are like, she's an icon, you know, because they're like, she's the one that got destroyed, but she did the same, you know, so there's just a lot of that where the pendulum is just swinging.

[B]

Right. There's one other point I was going to make.

[A]

It is so true, though. Like, I don't think I ever.

I don't think I ever, like, dated any playboys or anything. Wasn't really my type.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

But there might have been, like, a guy or two that, like, I really liked, and maybe I went on a date with him, and then, like, I didn't really, like, hear back. And then, like, you. He would text you three weeks later, and then you're like, is this okay? And. And it's just, like, so crazy. Like, I feel like sometimes what the girls were willing to put up with in order to get.

[B]

Just to be chosen.

[A]

Just to be chosen.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

And then you look back and you're like. But you kind of just feel like that's all that's out there. So. Yeah.

[B]

Back to your concept of scarcity.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And therefore, competitiveness, survival of the fittest.

[A]

I think the way I handled it was really smart.

[B]

Your. Your house.

[A]

Be the cheapest house on the street, but be, like, live in a really nice neighborhood. It's seriously so smart. Yeah.

[B]

But realistically, that.

[A]

And then you're not really competitive.

[B]

Realistically, that had nothing to do with why we got married, so. Yeah, it was. It's a great strategy. But realistically, like, I didn't know any of your other friend houses.

[A]

True. That's probably why I liked you, is because I felt like you weren't in the hood. Like, I was like, he's in a different neighborhood, different world.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, different.

[A]

And I didn't feel, like, competitive with anyone.

[B]

Right. So, I mean, my friend.

[A]

None of my friends knew you. It was like. Was like, this is an easy shot. An easy get. Yeah. It's like the deer standing right in front of me. I got an easy shot.

[B]

I'll take this so we can quote you on. Jordan is easy. Yeah, Jordan is easy.

[A]

Actually, it wasn't as easy as I thought because then he had this other, like, girlfriend. Ex girlfriend.

[B]

She had nothing to do with this, though.

[A]

Yeah, but she was, like, around sometimes.

[B]

Not really.

[A]

I saw her at parties and stuff.

[B]

Oh, you did? Oh, well, I didn't know that.

[A]

Yeah. Anyway.

[B]

Okay. Great talk. Great talk.

[A]

Yeah, I think we're probably done. You think? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Bye.

[A]

Okay. Love you guys. Bye.

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