← De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan
De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan
The Chaos of Influencer Friendships (and How to Actually Be a Good Friend)
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Foreign. The following podcast is a Dear media production. Hello, and welcome back to your favorite podcast, the Influence. That's right, it's me again. Another solo episode. I know you guys want Jordan to come back so badly. So do I. If he had social media, I would tell you guys to all go bombard him and tell him to come back. But he doesn't. Well, he does, but he, like, never really gets on it. So, yeah, if you see him in person, let him know he's kind of just off doing his own thing. He has a lot of projects and whatnot that he's been working on, and so he's a. He's a busy man. You know, I don't know, maybe I'm have to pay him more per hour to sit down with me. Just kidding. But I'm glad that you guys are here. That makes me happy. And I am still refining my skill of solo podcasting. Like I said, it's not for the faint of heart, but I really do enjoy it. You know, it's so funny because I always have, like, two or three topics I think I'm gonna talk about, and then I never end up talking about them because I go off on some other tangent. So I have some topics. Let's just see where the wind. Wind blows us. I do want to do a little catch up with you guys, because we haven't really caught up since I did the Janine episode. We kind of have, like, two weeks of catch up. You know, I'm kind of in that, you know, space in life where there's just not, like, a lot going on, which has been great. I cannot believe it, but it's like, October, you know, what's today? I don't know. It's like, first couple weeks of October, and I still have not put up my fall decor, which is like. I'm just like. I can't even believe it. But I'm kind of just thinking about, like, not doing it and just skipping to Christmas. It's a lot of work when you have to go from fall decor and then you clean it up so fast, and then you go to Christmas, and, like, Christmas is more than full. It's like, does anybody actually appreciate it? You know, that's how I feel. I feel like nobody ever walks in my home, and it's like, wow, I love your fall decor. And my. My kids don't say anything. In fact, they usually just throw up pumpkins around. I feel like Jordan gets annoyed because of the mess. So you know what? I'm just not gonna do It. I'm just not gonna do it. Maybe I will do it, though. It's like all it really takes is, like, one day of being bored and, like, having a burst of energy for me and then everything changes. So we'll see what happened, what happens. But, man, since we've chatted, the Taylor Swift album came out. The controversy with that one, oh, my gosh, if one more person sends me the alibast ducky, is that how you say her name Video about why Christian should not be listening to Taylor Swift? I am going to go crazy. Like, I. It is literally my whole DMS is filled with why I should not be worshiping Taylor Swift. And I'm like, I don't worship her. That's the thing. And, like, if you're really upset, just go listen to Opalite and then ask yourself, is this really that bad? Like, you know, it could be worse. We'll get. We'll get more into that later on in the podcast. But you do have to consider what we were raised off of in the 90s. Like, the amount of times that I said, it's getting hot in here. I'm gonna take off all my clothes when I was 12 years old. Look, I turned out okay. I still have my clothes on. We're good. Anyway, so it was crazy that I went to go see Taylor Swift her. Her Life of a Showgirl in theaters where they showed the music video and then they showed the behind the scenes. It's insane what that girl does where she's like directing, but she's also in the music video lip syncing to everything because they're always scared of her music getting late. Link or linked leaked on set. And so because there's so many people on set that it's really hard to keep, you know, track of everyone if all it takes is somebody hitting the record on their phone. So she dances and lip syncs to a metronome that's just like. And the dancers actually have no idea what the song sounds like. And so they have to make all these facial expressions even though they have no idea what they're dancing to. They literally are just dancing to a beat. So it's crazy. It was really neat to see the behind the scenes. She's very creative, so fun. And it's. It's wild to see, like, how many people actually go into creating something like that. So, yeah, that was good. I also saw Gabby's. Gabby's Dollhouse in theaters. You know, like Jordan was saying, he was like, you know, the critics are still not confirmed. But might be winning a couple of Oscars. It was. I actually, it was a lot cuter than I thought it was gonna be. Kristen Wiig is like the villain and she makes it so funny and so good and. And the music is kind of a bop. Like it's really catchy. And here's when you know is good. We took summit and summit paid attention the whole hour and a half. So if a nine month old baby likes it, I think you'll like it too. And you can pay attention too. But that was really cute to take. St. Stratton even liked it. He's just, you know, Stratton's just there for a good time. Know, I had another girl's. Oh, speaking of impeccable, have y' all ever tried cauliflower pizza? It's so good. My friend Ally gets these cauliflower pizzas just from like Tom Thumb. And you know, they just look like one of those things that would be healthy, but like, actually tastes disgusting. I'm not kidding you. It was better than real pizza. Like a real frozen pizza. It's so good. And I don't remember the. I think it was called like nature something and had like a big lime green. Like so good. Like I've been like craving it every single day. And it actually is healthier, apparently. So that's, that's good to know. What else has happened? We watched the UT game. They sucked. So that was bad. We were ranked and then now we're not. So that's a bummer. We played Florida and it was just a complete disaster. We planned a last minute trip to Nashville this morning. We actually planned it this morning. We're going to tomorrow with the kids. We're staying like just for 24 hours. We leave the next morning, really quick trip because Jordan has three plots of land that he wants to show me, like 10 acres each. And I'm. I still don't understand what I'm gonna do with 10 acres of land. Like, do I build a theme park? Do I build 17 tennis courts? Like, do I, you know, make a trail so that we can take a golf cart through the trail every day? Like, I don't really understand why people would want 10 acres of land unless you literally never want to see anybody ever. But I'm kind of in my extroverted era right now. Like, I play pickleball twice a week, tennis three times a week, and it's like, like, yeah, I like to see people. I like to go and see. See that there's other humans on this earth and so why would I want to live in 10 acres of land? Maybe if I wanted to farm. I'm deathly afraid of bugs and I really don't like the smell of manure. So that one, I've always kind of just been like, that's really not gonna happen. And I don't know. And, you know, I just. I get tired out in the sand too long. I just. I just feel like I'm not built for it. But you know what? I'm trying to just let Jordan lead us, see where. See where the chips fall. But at the same time, I've been very defiant in this process, but I also am trying to be very open minded. So we're going and we're gonna look at three plots of land and then three houses. So we'll see what happens. Jordan's still really excited about it. And I'm like. I said, I'm like, we'll just. I don't know. So that's what we're doing. This weekend we had Amazon Prime Day. That was big. What did I get for Amazon Prime Day? Oh, you know, the biggest thing that I got was a headband holder. I really wanted something to hold my new headband since I'm like, newly obsessed with headbands. Unfortunately, headbands are more expensive than I thought they were going to be. Well, the ones on Amazon you can get for like 16 bucks. But if you really want something special, like something real nice, I mean, these headbands can cost over $100. It's ridiculous. I'm like, I should start a headband business. I used to wear a ton of headbands as a kid. So much to the point where I think I have this, like, permanent indention on my head where headbands go. Like, you think I'm kidding? I'm actually not. Like, I really do have an indention. And I've always thought it was because, like, like I was the headband girl in high school and, or, you know, elementary school. But then I took a break. I had a headband hiatus. And I'm like, kind of back and I'm actually going to touch on that later on this episode. Because headbands are very Dallas. Like, there's kind of a Dallas uniform for, like, some Dallas girls. And it's like these, like, smocked, like, dresses headband and then like Tory Burch sandals or like a nice Chanel flat or something. And I always swore myself, I was like, I'll never buy those dresses. I'll never, never buy those type of Flats. And I'll never wear headbands. I wear them all now. It's like, it's just because the more you see it, the more you wear it. And so, yeah, I'm stepping into my headband era and I'm really happy because, like, things were getting a little boring around here. So just kind of spice it up a little bit. Yeah, Texas OU is tomorrow, which will be hard because we'll be in Nashville, but I'm sure we'll be watching from our phones and crying from the car in Nashville. Let's see what else. Oh, let me know if you have, like, any favorite restaurants in New York. I'm going to New York next week for. I'm doing, like this, like, little TV segment, like with Divvy. It's not like that big of a deal, so don't worry about it. It's just national television. Don't stress. That's actually why right after this, I'm going to get my nails done because I figure I probably. My nails are growing out pretty bad and I think I'm gonna go short. I'm thinking about just like chopping them all off and just going as short as possible. Like as short as you can go without bleeding at the, you know, cuticle is how short I want to go. And then I might go gel. I might go gel instead of dip. So I don't know. We'll just see you guys tune back in. I know you're on the edge of your seats about that one, but. Yeah. So it's been a pretty good week. Like I said, I. I said I've been saying no to a lot of things. I was supposed to go to Amazon Prime Creator Summit, which I was really excited about, but it's the same week as Stella's birthday and I really want. I'm doing like this whole thing on her birthday morning. And then the next day is my birthday. Not. I have literally no plans, not that it matters, but just says, and like, maybe, but he wants to surprise me with something. Like, I don't know, maybe I just need to be here. You never know. And then that weekend is Stella's birthday. So it's just kind of a lot. And I was like, I feel like I probably need to be here. And then what else? I don't know. The beginning of this episode, I thought I would start off with talking about, like, influencer friendships. Now the reason being is because every time I do a Q and A, I get asked about this, like, non stop. And being on the Internet for 13 years. You go through a lot of different stages of, like, friendships in this space. Not even just like, influencer friendships, but, like, industry friendships, people doing similar things. It's. It's hard because you. You grow so much, but, like, you meet some of these people, like, 10 years ago. Like, Laura Beverlin has been my friend for almost 10 years, which is so wild. And we've just always, you know, stayed in touch. We've always, like, you know, really met with, like, in different. Even though we're in different stages of life, we're always like. It just is so natural. But then there's some friendships that you kind of just, like, grow out of. And it's not even because anything happened. It's just like, you grow out of friendships, and that's just so normal. The only difference is, is that our friendship at one point was, like, highly documented. Like, like 24 7. And so then whenever you're, like, not friends with them anymore, it seems like it's this big thing. But, like, maybe it's not, or maybe it actually was. I don't know. And so the best thing about where I'm at in this space now with friendships is I have literally no one that I wouldn't call or text if I needed to. Even the people that, like, people assume that I'm not close with anymore. Like, I. I probably do text them at least, like, once every two or three months. And, you know, maybe we're not, like, best, best best friends, but, like, we're Virgil, and, like, we have, like, a relationship of some capacity. And so that's kind of, like, the best place to be, especially whenever you really try to start building friendships that are going to make sense for you, your kids, and, like, family long term. But I have had some, like, crazy encounters and crazy things happen that, you know, I thought I would just, like, kind of refer to. And if you're gonna try to, like, you know, do this puzzle and, like, pinpoint which friend did what, you probably not going to be able to because this is over the course of, like, 13 years. And so it's almost going to be impossible to be like, oh, I know what she's talking about, or, no, but, like, I guess I just wanted to talk about, like, I have had a lot of heartbreaks in this space. Like, and I think, like I said, I just think it's. It's natural, it's normal. You know, people's insecurities or people's struggles, even mine at sometimes are like, they just kind of conflict with, like, another person in your Life, and it's just like a. Not a healthy relationship. And sometimes it's just. It is what it is. But, yeah, I thought I'd go through that and then kind of just like, share what I've learned about friendships in my 30s. Because things really do change, and. And especially when you have a family, you have to approach them so differently. And so anyway, I wish I could do, like, a two truths and a lie, or, like a true or false. Like, and I read things and then y' all can tell me if you think they're true or false. But I'm here by myself, so. So just all these things are truths. But. So one of the first, like, craziest encounters that I had with the influencer friend was so I started off being with, like, I was friends with this person that also was posting content of some capacity, whether it was YouTube, Instagram, blog. I'm not going to tell you. But it got to the point. And this does happen in this. In this industry where sometimes, like, you're, like, the same level as a friend and, you know, you're both like, whatever, everything is, like, just seems very equal. But then one friend, they get, like, a spike or they get, like, they get a really cool interview or they do something, like, outside of the norm. Well, I had kind of gotten like, one of those spikes. And I have had a friend, a really good friend of mine, tell me that when I look at you, it makes me want to throw up. You disgust me. Because my posts were getting more likes than hers, and that's a really. That's a really tough place to be when a friend tells you that because you want your friends to be happy for you and you want to be able to, like, not be, you know, jealous of each other or you want to be able to support each other. And. Yeah, that's hard to hear. And how do you work past someone? Well, I always knew that it probably wasn't personal. It was probably coming from, like, an insecurity. So we were able to work past it. And I was like. And sometimes I make the joke still to this day, you know, because I know that it's just, like, coming from a, like, insecure place, or maybe they're, like, down on, like, where they're at in their life. And. Yeah, that. That one was, like, probably the first time that I experienced that, where I was like, wait. But I thought we were on the same team. I thought it was, like, all good. I also had a friend, so funny. Run away. Sorry, it's not funny. I had a Friend run away on a trip to a bus stop. This is. This is true, because we had, like, a group photo with, like, a bunch of friends, and I posted the photo, like, first out of, like, everybody. Like, you know, like, we're all, like, editing our photo. This is, like, a long time ago. We're all editing our photo. And, like, I've. I posted my photo first, and it upset them so much that, like, I got mine up, like, 10 minutes before theirs that they literally ran away on a trip to a bus stop and wanted to go home. And I had to chase them to a bus stop and ask them what was going on and try to convince them to come back to the hotel. And it was crazy. Like, it was so crazy because I was like, I. That was also at the time where I didn't know that 10 minutes made that big of a difference. Did it even really make the difference? I don't know, but that was another crazy situation. I've had other influencer friends in the space that, like, I thought we were, like, good with, like, tell brands, and this has happened multiple times, and it probably happens to a lot of people. Tell brands, like, they won't work with them if Danny works with them, or if, like, Danny gets this first or they get this first. The friend will say, hey, like, I will work with you as long as you don't work with Danny, or as long as you don't give Danny that code, or if, like, as long as you. You know. And the thing is, is that this stuff comes out, like. And I think people are trying to do it secretly, but it comes out. And so I have. And so it's hard because, like, I know, but they don't know that I know. You know what I mean? And so that's always hard because, like, I'm gonna be honest when I'm trying to negotiate a deal or something, I'm not even really thinking about other people. And I always feel like we all have, like, our own lanes, you know? So, like, I don't. I. I wouldn't have even thought that those things would have ever mattered. But it can be hurtful when you think that they're, like, kind of like I said, like, on your same team. I've had people try to steal my employees, like, a lot and say, like, hey, if you work for her, then Danny, like. Like, if you want to work for me, like, you can't work for Danny. I've had people I don't know, like, oh, I've had. Somebody was mad at me because I agreed to do a giveaway with one of their, like, arch nemes, like, their enemies. And that's hard because I'm just like, it's a giveaway. And, like, it's not like we're sleeping in bed together, you know? You know, and then I've had people stop, like, if you don't, you know, if you're not included in, like, whatever they're pursuing, then they just kind of stop inviting you around, and that's. That just happens. And that. That one was really hard for me because that was, like, back in the era, whenever, like, everybody was, like, always going to, like, Mexico and all these trips, and I was always invited, and then all of a sudden, I wasn't invited, and I was like, what the heck? And so that one was painful because I'm like, wait, I thought we were, like, real friends, not business friends. And so a lot of this stuff, it's hard because, like, I always want my friendships in this space to be, like, actually, like, we're friends outside of, like, influencing. But it does get in the way. Like, I. I've seen it how it gets in the way. It becomes, like, competitive, and it's. I've had, like, some friendship breakups also, because, like, I fall in love, like, fast and hard. Like, I'm like, if I like you, like, I. I want you, like, I want you around, and I will kind of put, like, 100 effort. And if I put that effort in, I kind of expect for us to be friends for life. And then when I found out that, like, we're not gonna be, it's. It is. It's heartbreaking. Like, it's. It hurts like a breakup. You know, I've gotten better at it. But that's why there was, like, also an era where I was like, I'm not being friends with anybody online. Like, I feel like I was, like, so hurt and, like, so that I was like, I'm just done. Like. But now I have really changed the way that I've. Because that's the nice thing. It's like, the best part about having influencer friends or people in the same industry. Like, friendships in this is, like, they just get it. Like, there's so many, like, unspoken nuances that I don't even have to explain to them. Because if I was, like, with a. With somebody that didn't, like, understand, you kind of just seem like you're being bratty. Like, I'm like, oh, sorry. Like, I just posted the story, and I put, like, the wrong hashtag and, like, like, somebody a Normal. Like, somebody would be like, okay, like what? That's so silly. Why do they care? But, like, if somebody has the same industry, they're like, oh, I get it. Like, I won't talk to you for, like, five seconds. Like, just do your thing. Like, repost it, you know? And it just seems silly and stupid to just be on your phone when it's like, oh, you got to get this thing up, or whatever. And so that's the nice thing about, you know, having people in the same space is, like, there's so much that you can relate on, and it's. There's just so many nuances that we just old. Like, we just see eye to eye. We get it. You can support each other. It's so much fun. But, yeah, there's a lot of, like, heartbreak, so. Which I think is just common in, like, any. This happens in high school. You know, I. I remember this happening in high school. That's why this one girl keyed my car in high school, because I made lieutenant of the dance team, and she thought I was horrible at dancing. And honestly, I tell everybody I was. I definitely was bad. And so she probably did deserve it more than me, but I don't think it was very nice to keep my car. Today's episode is sponsored by Shopify. And, man, do we love Shopify over at Divi. Divi would not exist without Shopify. Running a business doesn't have to mean burning yourself out. The smarter path is using tools that cut out the busy work and let you focus on what really matters. That's exactly what Shopify does for. For us. So when we first started Divi, we had no idea what we were doing. We'd never sold anything. Well, I had sold, like, things in person a lot. Like, my mom used to take me to San Antonio, and I used to sell fake cats on the streets, but I'd never sold anything, like, really online, like, legitimately. So we first we launched every. We had one sku, and Jordan was like, okay, we have to use Shopify. And what was so crazy is that, like, we still use, like, the same template, like, everything that we used from day one. I remember the day that we launched, and I was like, we actually out of town. We were on a trip. And it was so cool to, like, pull up the app and just see all of the orders coming in, like, from all over the country. It was wild. And so that's probably like, one of the things that I love the most is that we were able to run our business from wherever because we could do it all through this app or on the website. It makes it really, really easy for us to run our business. As a founder, I'm not in the Divi office often, so it's really nice to be able to see like how the sales are doing and everything is just like right on my phone. For me, the biggest win is being able to check live view from my phone and see where orders are coming from, whether I'm at home, traveling or the lake house. Shopify lets you run my business from anywhere. Um, they also pride themselves on all in one simplicity, so you can work smarter, not harder. Example, instead of juggling logins or piecing together apps, Shopify puts everything in one place. Website, payments, shipping, even selling across social platforms. That's hours saved every week. Shopify also has AI tools like Shopify Magic and Sidekick. They act like a built in business assistant. They help with directions, reports, editing images and even content ideas. So you spend less time guessing and more time just doing. Whether you're starting with just a side hustle or going all in on a brand, Shopify makes it simple. Simple. You don't need a big team, just you and an idea. That's true. Jordan and I started with just us too. Shopify replaces the need for a full staff when you're just starting out. Another thing I wanted to touch on, especially when you're first starting your business or launching your website, is it's so important to have good customer support because like, I remember when we first launched we didn't expect that much traffic and we had to like quickly upgrade to like another level or something. I, I don't remember exactly what it was, but Shopify had like the best customer support. We were in, I think we were in Mexico when we were launching and like they were available and responding to us like in real time. Which is always so nice to feel like you have, you know, Shopify on your team even though they're not technically a part of your business. So I just wanted to share that point with y' all as well. With Shopify, you can work smarter, not harder, with the tools that free you up to focus on your vision and not on logistics all the time. So if you've been sitting on the idea, whether it's merch products or even just testing something out, it's never been easier. Head to shopify.com jani and make it happen. Also side note, if and when we ever do merch for de influenced, which I'm so curious if y' all would even want merch, I would Love to. We will definitely be using Shopify. Let me just say, I am so ready for fall. Coffee, a cozy blanket, and maybe even a candle burning. That's just my happy place. Don't even get me started on fall clothes. Oversized sweaters, leggings. There's just nothing better. Especially since I'm pregnant. But here's the thing. Comfort starts underneath it all. And once I switched to me Undies, I realized how much difference the right pair can make. I tend to overheat easily, especially chasing my kids around or layering up for errands, so I need something breathable. Meundies micromodal fabric is on another level. It's less lightweight, stretchy, and insanely soft. Their breath line is my go to for fall. It has moisture wicking and anti odor tech that keeps me cool and comfortable from school drop off to pumpkin patch. And can we talk about their Halloween collection? I mean, adorable glow in the dark prints. Spider web lace. Cute little pumpkins. They're playful, festive, and still ridiculously comfy. They've got a style for everybody. Over 20 cuts in 100 colors and prints. So whether I'm in cozy mom mode or dressing up for date night, I know Meundies has me covered. I also know that they're sustainably made and partner with factories that treat workers well. And if you're not happy with your first pair, it's literally on them. No stress. Over 30 million pairs sold. Oh, that's a lot. Clearly, I'm not the only one obsessed. And yes, I wear them all the time. So this is me saying I use them and you should too. Right now, as a listener of my show, you can get cozy and spooky for less with deals up to 50% off. Just go to me undies.com/danny. Enter promo code dani. That's me. Undies.com dani. Promo code dani. For up to 50% off. Me undies. Comfort that's made for fall. You know, I always do when I go back on, like, friendship. I wanted to give some, like, tips for friendships and like, focusing on, you know, how to, I don't know, use your discernment and, like, who to really pour into. But I do feel like so much of friendships, even if, like, you, you aren't in the wrong and they are, it's still so much of, like, looking inward and not looking outward. Even whenever there's like, people that like, for example, like when the girl ran away to the bus stop and I had to chase her, like, I literally, I'm like, that's crazy. Like, that's crazy. Like, I didn't do anything wrong. But I think that if it's a friend that you really care about and you want to pursue a friendship with, like, even though you feel like you didn't do anything wrong, it's still okay to look inward and be like, okay, like, within, in, you know, with her insecurities and within, like, our friendship, like, what is the thing that I could have done different? How can I apologize? How can I also maybe say, stand my own ground and say, hey, Like, I'm sorry? Like, I think what you are asking me for is, like, unacceptable, and I'm not going to be able to be that type of friend. And maybe the friendship goes, you know, separate ways, but just always looking inward instead of just blaming the other person. Because I've had a lot of friends, too, that are, like, they get in these tiffs or these fights with other friends, and I'm like, hey, listen, I see both sides. And if you're not. If you're just going to be looking outward and blaming this other person for everything and not looking inward, you're not going to get anywhere. And so just for the friends that I truly feel like, it's really, I know their heart. I know where they're at. I always try to, like, look inside first. So when I think a lot of friendships end with jealousy, like, I really do. And I think it's very easy in this industry to be jealous of other people because your numbers and your everything is, like, just out public, you know, like, it's not like, I don't know. When you're in a lot of other spaces, a lot of things are private. Like, people don't know maybe if you got a promotion or they don't know, and maybe they do in some ways. But, like, in our careers, it's very public. A lot of things are very public. What brands you're working with, who you're with all the time, what friends you're posting with, how many likes you're getting. And it's really, now that more people are on, like, Instagram, you compare yourself a lot more. And it's easier now to become jealous of someone. And so what I always try to do is I try to, like, check the root of the jealousy. Like, if I'm feeling jealous about somebody, like, is it really about them? Is it. Is it because maybe I'm actually just insecure in what I'm doing? Or am I finding, like, am I finding my worth in my likes, or am I finding my worth in, you know, what brands I'm working with. I always ask myself, am I comparing myself all the time? Like, am I online too much? And I'm just constantly comparing myself and I'm never actually. I'm ever actually content with anything that I'm creating and anything that I'm doing. And I think it's totally fair and totally okay to take a step back. I've had to tell my friends because sometimes I've actually had friends come to me and say, hey, it hurts my feelings when you don't like my photos. Like, I've had that actually many times. Or, like, you never engage on my stuff or you never watch my stuff. And I have told them. I'm like, I just want you to know that this is like a personal boundary. Like, some days I take breaks from online and some days I'm like, totally at it. I'm on there. But to rely on me to consistently be like, liking and commenting on. I. I can't be that type of friend for you because I have to take care of, like, my mental health. And I had to say, hey, like, there's days, you know, where I'm just with my kids on a Saturday and I didn't even know that you posted, even though you're one of my best friends, like, I love you, but you're not on. I'm not putting on notifications. I'm not doing all of that. And please understand that it has nothing to do with you. It has nothing to do with the fact that I don't love you. It's just that, like, I'm taking care of my mental health, you know, and if a friend doesn't understand that and doesn't understand that boundary, then they're probably not a good friend. That's why I don't ever. I never get like, people always ask me, like, do you get offended when people share Nutriful or share other brands and share. No, I. I really don't. I mean, there's some where, like, I get a little confused because I know that they're using Debbie behind the scenes, but I really don't because first of all, I feel like there's space for all of us. And I actually have had, like two really, really good, sweet friends call me and be like, hey, Danny, like, Neutrophil just offered me like, X amount. Divi only offered me this amount. I think I'm gonna take Neutrophil. Are you okay with that? Which I thought was so sweet and like, so respectful and, like, they didn't even have to do that. And I have a lot of friends that just like, shared and like, support Divi because they want to support me. And that's like, so, so sweet and I so appreciate that. But I would never ask someone, like, to not to not, like, not to do what is best for their family or for like, their business. Even though I want, I want Divi to be able to afford everyone. Unfortunately, Neutrophil is just, like, way bigger than us. Like, they're like, I don't even know how much they're worth, but, like, they have massive influencer budgets and one day Divi might too. And so you better watch out. Neutral. Just kidding. We're actually kind of different. Like, you can use Divi and take Neutrophil. No, I, I, I don't take it personally. And I hope that, like, when my friends see that I didn't like, like their post or something, they don't take it personally because it's really, I don't think that social media is a complete reflection of, like, all of us. Like, of you, you wholly or like me as a person. Like, a complete reflection of me. Like, there's so much more, like, so much more complexities to a person than like, you know, just because they post with like five people on their Instagram doesn't mean that they don't have 15 other friends behind the scenes, you know? Like, I don't even think I post when I play tennis, but I play tennis almost every single day. But I don't post it because I'm playing tennis. I can't do both, you know, so we all have, like, very complex lives. So anyway, and then I think that the most important, like, or not most important, one thing to keep in mind is it is so attractive. Not even in a, like, loving or a romantic relationship, but also in a, in a friendship when someone is secure and confident. Like, when I have a friend that I'm like, hey, sorry, like, I can't come to Lake this weekend. I'm hanging out with Ashley. And they're like, cool. Like, next time you're like, call me. And like, and they're confident and they're like, not offended or hurt. It's so attractive. I'm like, that's so cool. Like, they're just so mature. But when you start getting butt hurt about everything and like, you cause a scene about every, it's, it's harder to be friends with someone like that because it just, to me, it lacks a little maturity, you know? You know, so my whole thing is like, check Yourself. Try to find your confidence, try to find your independence. Try to make yourself feel good about yourself in other ways than just like relying on everybody else's feedback all the time. You know, a big thing like with friendships, I think is to like also be grateful. I think people like to be around people that are grateful for what they have. Like, I used to hang out with people that had like way more followers or way more brand deals or whatever it was. And, and I think that, you know, I always try to be grateful for like I would maybe get 200 likes on a photo and they got 200,000. I'd be like, 200 is really good for me. And they'd be like, yes, go Danny. And they'd be proud of me. Even though compared to them it's nothing. But for me it was something big. And so I think everybody's just kind of like celebrating their little wins and they're being grateful for what they have is also very attractive in, in friendships, which al also, you know, kind of makes you reflect daily and be like, oh wait, I have a lot to be grateful for. And I just love hanging out with people that are like positive. I love it so much. It's just not wears off on me. It rubs off on me and I, it makes me a better person too. And I think whenever you get sometimes have you ever been like a group of girls and like they're all just complaining about like the food at a restaurant and then we all just talk about how bad the food is the entire hour and it's like, why did we waste our hour just being negative, you know? And so, so anyway, I think just being grateful and reflecting is also really healthy in friendships and then nurturing your identity and building your self esteem and trying new things and learning and reading and investing in your passions and your hobbies and journaling. Like just taking care of yourself will put you in such a good place to like, if you're pouring into yourself, you could be pouring out to other people and other friendships as well. And I think that that's why some of these friendships I've had have gone south where like people's jealousy or people's insecurities just like bleed out from within because they're so empty on inside. And like all their, they're putting all their worth on like a likes. The likes of their photo. And that's why it matters so much to them that I posted first or that I got more like, whatever. It's just a, it's a disaster. And so just nurturing Your own identity outside of that. Communicating your needs to a friend. Like I said, you know, I will. Like, there's been some birthday parties of, like, some of my friends, kids that I have, like, been like, listen, I love you. I love your children. Like, I want you to be in my life. But, like, I will not be able to go to, like, the birthday party because, like, I'm not in a good place. I'm in my first trimester. I'm feeling really depressed. And this has nothing to do with you, but, like, communicating your needs to each other and saying, hey, it would really matter to me, though, if you showed up for an hour. Okay. Okay. I can make the sacrifice. You know what I mean? And just, like, getting it all out there to prevent any type of, like, animosity. I think it's just really important to stay, like, in communication. Creating healthy boundaries, having the conversation. I have a very good. Like, my friend Sarah Rose is very confrontational, like, in a healthy way. And she'll be like, hey, you know, are you coming Tuesday? Why? Like, you know, and she just, like, wants to go to the. And it's very, like, helpful and very healthy. And then celebrating your friends because at the end of the day, we. We all are on the same team. Like, we. We really are. And it's so fun. Like, if you can just change. Change your perspective with your friends, and instead of being jealous of them being like, whoa, that girl is my friend. Like, that's like, she's mine. She's my friend. Like, and she's killing it. It's so much more fun to celebrate your friends when you're just like, oh, yeah, she's my baddie. She's my gal, you know? And, like, instead of feeling competitive with them because at the end of the day, nobody can be you and nobody can be her. Like, you are who you are. Like, I said, muting social media. Muting social media accounts. I have some of my, you know, friends on mute because I just know I don't want to, Like, I want my friendship to be with them. I want it to be authentic with them. I don't want it to be seen through the lines of social media, and I think that that's totally healthy. And I have some friends where I'm just like, you can put me on mute. I don't care. It's, like, not real. No. Social media is not always real. I've always told people to have, like, a secret life online that, you know, is sacred to you. Private moments that you keep private conversations. You keep private Friendships you keep, private, hobbies you don't have to share. 24, 7. It's just really, it's a really healthy way to kind of live your life. And then my other biggest thing when it comes to friendships is just like to continually like pray for your friends. Ask them like what they're needing too in their, you know, prayer life or what they're struggling with, being vulnerable with them not feeling like you always have to share just like all the, the good things. Because like, sorry, but like, nobody wants to hang out with somebody that their life is perfect all the time. Because nobody's life is perfect all the time. Another piece of advice, if you're struggling with just like making friends or feeling like you have a group, become the planner of your group. Like, dub yourself as like, I am the party planner and I will be the one to plan everything and you know, take the extra work on and make the effort to like plan events. It doesn't have to be really extravagant. Like, my thing is like, I always have PJ sweatpants pizza nights at my house. I order the pizza, nobody puts on makeup. We just all hang out and sometimes we'll play games. That is not complicated to plan. I have some friends like Janelle, who is like overachiever, amazing at planning. She loves planning things and so she will like make it a theme or like make it. And that's great for them. I love that. That's just not me. I'm not like that creative. I don't really enjoy planning events that much. And so, you know, kind of take like what you're interested in and you know, take it into like control and lead your group. And then what just happens is all this starts trickling down. Like then you're just, they start inviting you, you start building this group. It's like, yeah, you, sometimes you can't just wait around. Like, you gotta, you got to be the playmaker. I, I love creating like rituals together with my friends. Like Thursday morning walks or Tuesday, Thursday tennis or Bible study, Friday mornings. Like, those are all things that I do with some of my friends and they're just built into like the mundane parts of your life. Instead of feeling like you always have to be planning these like fun events, like just, you know, do a workout class together, do a Bible study together, do a cooking class together, go to the grocery store together, go on a walk together. Like, and it can be like a 45 minute thing. Like, you don't have to hang out with your friend all day long, but building some type of like weekly Ritual is amazing. Especially, like, that's why I love football season. Like, use things like football season to, like, make new friends. Because, like, honestly, I don't even think I really liked football at first. I just liked the fact that it was an excuse to come together and just like, hey, do you want to come over and, like, watch the football game? And we never actually even watched the football game. No, I do, but, like, is just use, like, cultural relevant things in life. Like, oh, the summer I turned pretty season finale, I'm going to invite girls over, or, you know, the Super Bowl. Let's do. Let's do a theme where we all dress up like our husbands for the Super Bowl. Like, just have fun with it, you know? And then, like I said earlier, just make sure that you continue to share, like, the unpolished parts of your life too. You know, be honest about your struggles. You know, find depth in your. In your friendship so you can, like, grow with honesty and don't feel like you have to, like, put on this Persona. If there's a friend that I feel like I have to, like, put on a show for, it doesn't usually last long for me. And if they're not really, like, willing to go to that next level for me, I'll still be friends with them, but it's just, like, not really worth it because we get older, like, we don't have as much time. You got kids, and it's like, if I'm gonna spend an hour with you, like, I need. We need to go deep. So, yeah, I mean, I feel like friendships, like I said, when you're 30, their friendships are always hard. I. I think my friendships were more challenging when I was 20 than they are now. Maybe it's just because, you know, we kind of mature and we grow. But friendships are so important. And feeling. There's nothing worse than feeling lonely. Like, I felt lonely for so many years when I first moved to Dallas because I was, like, so, so obsessed with work that I never put a lot of effort into my friendships. And when I ha. When I feel close to my friends, like, I feel like I can, like, conquer the world. I feel like I can do anything because I know no matter what happens, like, I'll always have this community to, like, fall back to. And I know these. I have these people that, like, really fully know me. And I think that's how God, like, really wants us to intend, like, to live our lives is, like, to be known and to have people supporting us. And so, yeah, if you're one of those People that just struggles with friendships just know that I've had a friend tell me that my face makes them want to throw up. There you go. So anyway, there was other. There's. This was like, an interesting. First of all, I asked on my Instagram, I was like, what do y' all want me to talk about on this podcast or dive deep into. And someone said pop culture. They really want to know more about pop culture. And I haven't been so into pop culture lately. But I do think this conversation about Bad Bunny performing at the super bowl halftime show is really interesting. So for those of y' all that live under a rock, Bad Bunny is set to. He agreed to perform at the NFL halftime Super bowl, which has been crazy because it has triggered a lot of kind of cultural backlash. So Bad Bunny is. He's a singer. He sings in Spanish. He's from Puerto Rico, which just, if you guys don't know that is considered, like, American. So a lot of people are upset because he sings in Spanish, and they're like, that's not very American. I'm like, yeah, but he's from Puerto Rico. So it kind of is. But. But yeah, he's kind of gotten, like, a lot of backlash. And I get it. He's very. I don't understand all the lyrics to his songs, but from what I do understand, they're pretty raunchy. So it is kind of weird that he's, like, performing at, like, a very family friendly halftime super bowl, you know, event. But, like, does anybody remember when Justin Timberlake, like, ripped off Janet Jackson's top? Like, that also wasn't very family friendly, but that happened. But anyway, so in response, Turning Point USA is organizing a competing All American halftime show, which I thought that there was other drama because if you guys follow Corey Ashbury and Forest Frank, Corey Ashbury is like, a. A big, like, Christian singer. And he posted, like, I don't know, maybe a week and a half ago or so about how when Bad Bunny was announced he wanted to build his own family friendly halftime show. And, like, Forest Spring said he was in, like, a bunch of, like, Christian artists were like, yeah, like, we're in, like, let's do it. And all they needed was, like, a TV network. Well, and, like, a lot of money to make it happen. So they had been kind of, like, throwing out this idea. And I was like, oh, my gosh, I love Forest Frank. I was like, let's do it. It'd be great. And then Turning Point usa, like, you know, a week later said that they were doing the same thing. So then it kind of like broke. It kind of like there was just more drama because there were, there were two halftime shows that were kind of competing for the spot outside of the. The real halftime show anyway. Don't we just love like Christian tick tock drama? It's just, it's crazy. But apparently Turning Point USA and like Corey and Forest Frank have all like decided that they're going to do something together. So would be great. So if you're not into Bad Bunny and you want to watch something more family friendly, that will be going on, which I'm actually really excited about because just personally I don't think my, my kids are going to be into Bad Bunny. They're feel like, who's this guy? They don't know any of his music. And so it'll be really. We play like praise and worship in our house every morning. So I think my kids will love it. You know, like us parents, we're all about family friendly, you know. But I just thought it was interesting like to. To think about or talk about how a lot of people were objecting to Bad Bunnies like musical style, his public Persona, his criticism of the president, his use of Spanish lyrics, his gender fluid style. Like a lot of people are, are just like upset about that. He, he decided not to tour in the U. S because his fears of ice, which also adds up. He has a lot of probably like Hispanic people that come to his shows since he sings. Sings in Spanish and so yeah, I think my biggest thing is that people don't understand that Puerto Rico's in the U.S. that part just like, really? I was like, guys, come on. But like I said, I did want. I think the best way to kind of decide these things sometimes because you have such opposing views. And I believed this with. I saw a post about how someone was really upset with Taylor Swift because she was advertising Target and they were like, she's leaning too much into consumerism and, and making people go buy this and buy that and then she sells this and then she sells that. I think the best way to decide these things is just to have an open market and let the markets decide instead of getting so upset about this or that. I feel like it's always going to be divided and there's always going to be like, we should do this. No, you should do this. My thing is like, let the markets decide. Like everybody put their best foot forward and like it would be if you really are so opposed to this type of person, like performing, then put your money where Your mouth is. And go watch the Forest Frank version of the halftime show and blow it up into something that we all think it is. So instead of saying, sometimes I feel like it's. It's not as helpful to just talk crap about one thing when we should just be, like, praising and, like, getting so excited about another thing. Does that make sense? It's like we. We spend so much time being negative and being upset about something when we should just be, like, talk about what we love, you know, like, do we really have to push something down to make something else greater? I don't know. Maybe. And I guess it depends. But. So, yeah, my thing is, I think it's really cool. What Forest Frank, Turning Point usa. What all they're doing with this halftime show, especially because it's gonna be family friendly and especially because I think there's gonna be a lot of Christian artists and it'll be airing, like, literally during the halftime show. So you can just switch over, go watch it, let your kids watch it, and then tune back in. So I'm. I'm excited about that. So I thought I would share that with you guys if you're looking for something more family friendly. Speaking of Taylor Swift, this album has gotten a lot of criticism. And there was one real or one tick tock. I saw that people were like, this is definitely bots, but I don't think it's bots. Taylor Swift album has gotten a lot of pushback when I personally think the album is very playful, joyful. It's like radio friendly if you take out the explicit words and catchy and goofy. Especially if you listen to her interviews, like her song would, which has these kind of like sexual innuendos, like wood, you know, or what does she talk about? I'm not gonna say, but you guys can go look it up. But like, for example, the morning that it. That it played or that it came out, I played it for Stella and Stratton. Or no, just Stella. And I listened to the whole lyrics. I had no idea it had. It had anything like, any innuendos. I just took it for face value. I had no idea what I was talking about. But people are saying that it's like, jarring. It's over sexual. It has essential lyrics to it. The innuendos are too much. I kind of feel like it's just goofy. Personally, I just feel like she's being silly. And if you watch the interview, she's like, I don't know how it got. It started out so innocent. And it really was about, you Know these superstitions. She was writing a song about superstitions, and then she. They just started having fun with the lyrics, and then it just got. It turned into what it is. The song actually. Actually romantic is a diss track. And a lot of people said it was, like, petty or mean or immature. They said it lacked emotional depth. I must be a dummy because I thought it was emotionally deep. My theory that I had on people not liking the Taylor Swift album was like, if you have a low iq, then you love it. And if you have a higher cue, then you hate it because it doesn't, like, challenge your intellect enough. Some other people's theories are that if you're a happy person, you love the album, but if you're an unhappy person, you hate it. I don't know. Father Figure probably had the most provocative lyrics that were a little cheap and risky. It interpolates George Michael on the song Father Figure. So a lot of people think that it has to do. It has to be about Olivia Rodrigo because she interpolated one of Taylor Swift's songs but didn't give Taylor Swift credit. Which interpolated is like, when you take a part of their song and then you build on top of it and you make it your own. And so because she interpolated George Michaels on Father Figure, they think it's all about interpret well, interpolation or whatever. And they're convinced it's about Olivia Rodrigo because Olivia Rodrigo used to be obsessed with Taylor Swift, kind of like her mentor. And then Olivia interpolated her song and Taylor got upset and made her pay her for it. And Olivia's like, why do you care? You're like this massive superstar, and I'm like, nobody. And why are we fighting over this? Cancelled is. I'm pretty sure it's about Blake Lively, but I don't think that they're, like, good. I don't think that they're, like, friends now. I think that she just kind of, like, wrote the song as kind of an olive branch, but I don't think they have any intentions of being friends. Wish list. People hate it because they just think it's so cringe. I think it's so cute and so relatable. Like, we needed some Taylor Swift songs that we could sing about our husbands, and we finally got one. You know, a lot of us are kind of sick about sick. Like, I can't relate to a breakup song I can't relate to. And so it's. At least we're singing to everybody now. So a lot of People said it was underwhelming compared to our old albums. That romance doesn't speak like heartbreak does, which is probably true. They said that the trajectory moved from introspect, introspection, folk and pop just all too soon. I just really don't care what they say. I thought it was great and I like love to listen to it and I don't get sick of any of the songs and it just puts me in a good mood. I think that for me, it's just really not that deep. You do have to think about, though, the lyrics that we were raised on and how we turned out. Okay, okay. Like Britney Spears, I'm a slave for you. Do you know, like, I started singing that when I was like 10 years. I'm a slave for you. And then like, we're all doing our belly dancing. Hit me baby one more time. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty bad for like an 8 year old to be singing. Like, I don't really think like Opal Light is that bad compared to like some of the Christina Aguilera Britney Spears songs. I'll take you to the candy shop I'll let you lick the lollipop I. The amount of times I've. I've sang that in like sixth grade, you know, not grinding, but like trying to grind on a boy and say it's. It's ridiculous and like, we're okay. To be honest, y', all, I didn't even know what it meant. I'm not saying that is okay, but I'm just saying it wasn't that deep. We all liked the beat. It's getting hot in here so take off all your clothes. That was a really good one. Yeah, by Usher. Yeah, we know what that was about. I want to make love in this club. We used to sing that all the time. So I just do want to remind us that. Were the 90s any better? I don't know. Just think about it, okay? Okay. Let's be real. People always assume I'm just so naturally tan. I wish. The truth is my natural color is closer to porcelain than post vacation glow. For. For years, spray tans have been my secret weapon. They give me that healthy, sun kissed look without the UV damage or hours of baking in the sun. And when it comes to this perfect spray tan, sugared and bronze makes it easy. They've got over 40 locations, which means whether I'm home or traveling, I can always find one nearby. It can be a lifesaver when you're in a pinch. 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Learn more and join Using my link in the description, Function is a near 360 view to see what's happening in your body. And my first 1000 listeners get a $100 credit towards their membership. Visit www.functionhealth.comdani or use gift code Danny100 at signup to own your health. So the last topic I want to talk about is something I was not intending to talk about. I actually was going to talk about if Cabo is safe because, well, it kind of goes a little deep. But essentially there were some, like, Trump had some, like, military strikes on these, like, boats struggling or smuggling drugs. And then two banners were posted by the cartel in Cabo, like, where people go visit, like, threatening Americans. So I just wanted people to know that just in case you're going to Cabo soon, like, just look it up. I don't know. I mean, I looked it up. It was real. But y' all just do your research. Because I think that they're mad that we are striking their drugs and they're having a harder time getting drugs into the country. So just not that I want to talk about the cartel on this podcast, but I just. You know how this podcast goes. It's a smorgasbord of just Danny's brain. So now let's talk about porn. Told you. So, I wasn't planning on talking about this, but a lot of what I mentioned on this podcast is just, like, what I'm learning or what I'm, you know, listening to over the week. And so Bonnie Blue was recently interviewed on Modern Wisdom, which I love that podcast. It's just if you're just, like, bored and you're doing something and you want to listen to. Modern Wisdom is amazing. He covers so many different topics, and you learn so well. He. She was being interviewed by Lewis Perry. Luis Perry. Sorry. And for those of y' all that don't know who Bonnie Blue is, Bonnie Blue, her real name is Tia Billinger, is a British adult film actress and content creator. So kind of like a porn star. She was born in 1999. So how old is she? Oh, my gosh. She's a baby. Jenny, if you're born in 1909, how old are you? 26. Are you born in 1999? Oh, weird. Okay, so you're 20. She's 26. The big thing that put her on the map, even though she's become, like, I think, a big. A big. I don't know if she's only fans or what she does, but she became pretty big online. I remember hearing about it in January. She slept with 1057 men in 12 hours, which. That's 88 men per hour. Wait, how's that even possible? You have to do it. Like, they each have, like, less than a minute. Oh, my gosh. Oh. Oh, Lord. That's just. It kind of makes you sick a little bit. But they did an interview with her because Louise Perry is a journalist, and she's very, like, conservative when it comes to, like, the sexual revol revolution. And she's really trying to kind of fight what. What's happening in. In just, like, society with, like, porn. And she's trying to, like, you know, advocate for a lot of this to be illegal. So you had really, two different opposing views. But when she interviewed Bonnie, you know, and she tried to understand if she had been, you know, traumatized at a young age or, like, struggle with mental health or why she does this. And, I mean, the only reason she said was really just for money. Like, she just. It's good money. She's like, I get paid. I don't care. I don't get grossed out. I'm not traumatized. I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Bonnie's whole point was, you know, if you're. Because something that they brought up on the interview was like, don't you feel like you're, like, ruining marriages? Because a lot of married men come to her and for content, and she's like, no, if you are struggling in your marriage or something is going on, like, that's between you guys. That has nothing to do with me. And the fact that he's there means that there's a bigger problem that I. Yeah, so that's kind of like, her reasoning. I'm not saying I agree with it. I'm just telling you. That's what I heard on the podcast. A big thing that they cover on this podcast is, like, just because someone has consent, does that mean that there aren't coercive forces like economic need, inequality, or gender norms that aren't influencing that choice? Because there probably are. Bonnie Blue's whole thing is that, like, sleeping with someone is a hobby. It's really not meant to be anything more. It's just a hobby. And I don't know. It. It kind of, like, just really scared me, like, listening to that whole conversation, because I know that the porn industry of porn is just so dangerous for a lot of men, families, women, relationship. What typically happens with, like, people or men or anyone that, like, you know, views that type of content is usually they. Each time, they need something more and more to, like, fulfill their needs, and so then they turn into, like, like, crazy fetishes and, like, weird things, and then it becomes Inappropriate and then maybe they're pushed so much that they're watching things that are illegal and it's like just a really bad slippery slope that a lot of men would probably admit to. I have some like crazy statistics. 64 also if you want to like if your kids are around, I, I don't know, maybe you don't want them to listen to this part. I'm not going to say anything like really vulgar. It's just all facts. But still, maybe you don't want your like children around so maybe just make them go to the other room. But 64 of men under the age of 25 really want like there to be more like stronger laws and regulation on porn, which is up from 51 in 2013. So they, they want to be more conservative. And the reason is, is because they know that porn is essentially like ruining their lives. Let's see. 91.5% of men from 18 to 73% consume porn in last month. That's 91. That's almost 160% of women did. Young adults 18 to 25 show high use, show higher usage probably because it's so accessible and they're probably more savvy than like an 80 year old man, which is sad but true. 57% of young adults are consuming it monthly. 20 of men use it daily. It's so accessible. One of the other crazier facts is Pornhub reported 42 billion visits in 2022. 42 billion. That's insane. It's so, it's so scary to think about. So I don't know, I just wanted to go through like cuz I with the sexual revolution. You just had all these people that were like, hey, it's not that big of a deal. It's not that deep. You know, it's like Danny listening to Taylor Swift. It has, it's really not that deep. You don't have to, you know, make. You don't have to like, you know, slap shame girls for this. You don't have to. You. This is empowering for women. This is just the norm. We shouldn't be so ashamed of talking about it. And I totally understand those arguments. If you don't have a faith then like why, why would you care? Like why it. Why would you care? You wouldn't have any morals. And I think that that's kind of the scary thing about people that don't have like values or faith is because there's really no boundaries to anything. Because if that goes then what's to say? Why can't we get married to animals or why can't. Okay, if we can be, if we can identify as a goat, then. If I identify as a goat, then I'm not a 17 year old kid. And then bestiality is okay, and then this is okay. And then you can marry this person or marry this animal. And like it just goes like so, so far that there's like literally no morals to anything and there's no limits on anything. So you kind of just can reason your way into whatever you really want to do. And you don't really have to be held accountable or have any consequences for anything. But just if you are one of those people, let's be interested in having values or having, you know, being interested in like what God says about sex. Because it's very clear about what God says about sex in the Bible. And I think it's the, I think the reason why God puts these, like, you know, not these rules, but like the way he builds it. The way that he builds it and intends for us to live that way is truly to like protect you. Like, I really think it's to protect us and to like help us live like the fullest life and not because he's trying to like take things away. Because God created sex. The Bible says sex is good. It's sacred. It's designed by God. It unites a husband and wife in love, intimacy and partnership. Sexual intimacy is for marriage, which is very clear in Hebrews 13:4, which I think is like also a big thing that like a lot of Christians hate to admit. They're like, they just, they'll follow all the other things in the Bible, but like, when it comes to waiting till you're married to have sex, they're like very. That one just goes in one year out the other. And. But I really think it's to like protect us and to have like the most fulfilling marriage once you are married. Because then you don't have comparison. You don't have. You know, it's not like these men come in with like these crazy fetishes because they've been having like doing all these other crazy things. Like, it's just very pure and it's really easy, easy to like connect with someone when you just feel both like very like honest and pure. You know what I mean? So I really do think he, he does. He like says this to protect us. He says in the Bible that sex is about love, intimacy and joy. It's not just about reproduction. It's not just about having kids. Like it really is to build, like, a deep connection. It's celebrated a lot in Song of Solomon. Like, if you want to hear crazy stuff in the Bible, like, you wouldn't even believe this stuff is in the Bible. Like, it's crazy. It's very sexual. But it's in Song of Solomon. You can go read it or don't if you. I don't know. Bible speaks about the misuse of sex. Like, protecting. Making sure that you protect your heart and trust and protect your family. And then also the fact that grace always wins. So if you do make a mistake, let. Just know that, like, God does have grace and, like, it's going to be okay. And we can always ask for forgiveness in everything that we do. So it's not like, oh, my gosh, you ruined your life because you didn't stay sexually pure. Like, that's. That's, like, any sin, we can always repent. And that's like, the amazing thing about Christianity is that, like, we all are sinners. We all do make mistakes. But I think the reason why God, like, planned things this way is because he wants the best for you and he wants you to live, like, the most fulfilled life. And so, I don't know, it just kind of goes back to the fact that, like, all of these things will probably always be available. As much as, I mean, I would love for porn to be outlawed and for it to be illegal and for, you know, Bonnie to, like, have a change in heart and for it to be less socially acceptable to, you know, post pictures of yourself naked online, like, that's crazy. But. But at the same time, it is a broken world. And, like, will that ever happen? I don't know. Like, we can advocate as much as we can, but as Christians, like, at least we have some guidelines. At least we have. We don't have to listen to society. At least we know that we're, like, called to a different standard. It breaks my heart because I know that a lot of men, like, get caught up in it, and, like, they don't want to be. Like, they don't want to be a part of that. They know it ruins their lives. They're like, man, I wish it wasn't out there. I wish it was harder to access. It's so easy to access now. And so I think for men, it's just really important for them to, like, be honest and, like, communicating with their community and other men and, like, talking to, you know, therapists or whatever, that they need to stay, like, off of that stuff, because I really do think it ruins Relationships, it ruins marriages. But that's something that they're gonna have to, like, pursue themselves, especially in the meantime, when this stuff is so accessible. And there's. As much as I want it to be, like, an excuse and to be like, well, it's the Bonnie Blues of the world that are ruining this, are ruining marriages. And it's the. It's the only fans and the porn hubs of the world. Don't get me wrong, it sucks, and I wish it wasn't out there, but at the same time, we can't just be blaming, like, the temptations. Like, we really have to, like, protect ourselves a lot from all of that. And, like, you know what's going to trigger you, you know, the spaces that, like, that's why, like, Jordan is so. He's very, like, careful about what he exposes himself to. Like, there's, like, this, like, website or app. I can't remember what it's called, and I wish I could tell you because it would be so helpful. But Jordan, like, learned that you can, like, install it to, like, Netflix or whatever. And it literally will just take out all of the sex scenes and movies. And so you. Sometimes you're watching, and it will just, like, skip, like, 15 seconds. And, like, you just know, oh, they just did it. Like, it's not like you. It doesn't, like, ruin your viewer experience, but it just kind of takes that part out so that you're not even really tempted with it. Because at the same time. The same time, it's like, we want to watch the Netflix show, you know, like, we want to watch what's going on, but let's. Sometimes that stuff, especially for men. Not saying it's not for women, too, but especially for men, it's just too much. They can't handle it, you know, and it's. At least. At least men know like. At least men know, and they're able to admit it and they're able to say, like, hey, I need to have these certain, like, apps on my phone that lock me out of this, and I can't get onto that. Or it did show. They were talking about in this podcast that I think recently it was only on. It was on only fans that you now. Or maybe it was pornhub. Like, you now have to, like, submit a picture of your, like, license or something. You have to, like, register yourself now when you do watch something. And it showed that it. It limited the viewership by 50%. So, like, anonymity is something that increases, like, porn usage. And when you are held accountable to your actions, it shows that it does decrease. So I'm really hoping that, like, more things like that happen where, like, you are going to be held to a higher standard. And, like, maybe it's like, it's made public if you are somebody that's consuming. I don't know. I don't know. But it's just so crazy because it just seems like this industry is so massive. It feels like we're fighting this uphill battle because it's like an addiction that a lot of men have. And especially as, like, Jesus and, you know, religion or whatever faith you have gets pulled more and more, like, further away from society, it just is, like, anything goes. And so it's really important for us to, like, stick to our boundaries and our values, because otherwise we're all gonna be marrying goats out here. That's all I have to say. So, anyway, you know, I've been talking. I've been just jabbering for an hour and six minutes, so I'd love for you guys to just. I don't know what you think about the episode. Just don't tell me about how you miss Jordan. I do, too. I know it. Okay, maybe you just tell me things. Maybe tell me about other deep dives you want me to do. Some people actually like it without Jordan. Just so you know. It's not a lot of people, but there are. There is a little niche out there that like these solo episodes. So thank you guys for that, too. Um, but make sure you check us out on Instagram at D influenced the influence podcast and TikTok at the influence Podcast. We love you guys and we'll talk to you later. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.