We Suck at Communicating Through Conflict

Summary

Episode Summary: "We Suck at Communicating Through Conflict"

De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan
Release Date: February 13, 2025
Hosts: Dani and Jordan Austin
Episode Title: We Suck at Communicating Through Conflict

---

In this candid episode of De-Influenced with Dani + Jordan, hosts Dani and Jordan Austin dive deep into the complexities of communication within their relationship, exploring how anger and resentment can impede effective dialogue. Drawing from over a decade of experience in the influencer industry and their personal journey through marriage counseling, the couple shares valuable insights, practical strategies, and heartfelt anecdotes to help listeners navigate their own conflicts.

1. Emotional Turmoil and the Suburban Move ([00:00] - [02:37])

The episode kicks off with Dani and Jordan expressing their heightened emotions, primarily anger and resentment. Jordan reveals his frustration stemming from their recent attempt to relocate to the suburbs, which was met with unexpected hostility from the local community.

Jordan Austin [00:30]: "I don’t think we can move to the suburbs. The suburbs genuinely do not want Danny and Jordan to live in them."

Dani reminisces about their excitement for a slower-paced life outside Dallas, only to face resistance that ultimately led them to abandon the move. This initial discussion sets the tone for the episode, highlighting the emotional strain they've been experiencing.

2. Gratitude Exercise and Underlying Resentments ([04:56] - [12:03])

To counterbalance their negative emotions, Dani and Jordan engage in a gratitude exercise. They each list three things they're thankful for, revealing both lighthearted and serious aspects of their lives.

Dani Austin [05:15]: "I am grateful for our chiropractor, Cynthia, who gave me a 90-minute massage..."

Jordan Austin [08:09]: "I’m thankful for the laugh I just had and being nominated for EY Entrepreneur of the Year."

However, this exercise also brings underlying resentments to the surface, prompting deeper reflections on their relationship dynamics.

3. Struggling with Communication ([14:00] - [42:44])

The crux of the episode revolves around Dani and Jordan's realization that they are "extremely bad at communicating through conflict." They discuss how their evolving selves have altered the dynamics of their relationship, making past communication strategies ineffective.

a. Lessons from Counseling ([14:00] - [16:08])

Having returned to marriage counseling, they identify their primary issue: ineffective communication during conflicts. Dani introduces six actionable tips they've learned to improve their interactions.

b. The Three V’s of Communication ([18:17] - [22:27])

Dani shares a pivotal concept from their therapy sessions about the components of communication: verbal, vocal, and visual.

Dani Austin [20:22]: "Words are 7%. They're basically nothing. Oh, your tone is 38%. Your body language is 55%."

This breakdown emphasizes the importance of non-verbal cues over spoken words, a revelation that reshapes how they approach conversations.

c. Practical Communication Tips ([25:07] - [42:44])

Dani elaborates on the following strategies:

1. Listen to Understand, Not to Reply ([25:07] - [25:48])

   • Instead of preparing a rebuttal, focus on truly understanding the other person's perspective.

   Dani Austin [25:02]: "Listen to understand, not to reply."

2. Set Goals for Conversations ([35:01] - [36:44])

   • Define clear objectives before engaging in difficult discussions to stay focused and prevent 'kitchen sinking' (introducing multiple issues at once).

3. Sharing Feelings vs. Sharing Thoughts ([40:00] - [42:44])

   • Differentiate between expressing emotions ("I feel lonely") and making accusatory statements ("You're always forgetful").

Jordan acknowledges his tendency to overfill conversation gaps, often leading to disconnects.

Jordan Austin [38:20]: "Just sit and wait. Truly embrace the silence."

4. Addressing Codependency and Personal Growth ([43:34] - [55:26])

The conversation shifts to exploring codependency within their relationship. Jordan discusses his decision to attend a healing retreat in Tennessee to address his codependent tendencies.

Jordan Austin [44:21]: "Codependency is, like, an example of... I want Danny to be happy. And if Danny is not happy..."

They examine how his attempts to support Dani sometimes inadvertently hinder her autonomy, leading to a deeper understanding of their interdependent dynamics.

5. Lighthearted Conversations and Pop Culture ([56:07] - [74:10])

After delving into serious topics, Dani and Jordan lighten the mood by discussing upcoming Super Bowl plans and engaging in playful banter about celebrities and pop culture events.

a. Super Bowl Plans ([56:07] - [57:09])

They talk about attending friends' gatherings and brainstorming snack ideas, introducing humor into their discussion.

b. Gen Z Personas ([70:28] - [74:10])

Jordan shares insights from an article dissecting Gen Z into three personas:

1. Neo Traditionalists (29%): Value stability and traditional lifestyles.
2. Fluid Pragmatists (33%): Seek financial independence and work-life balance.
3. Internet Age Explorers (38%): Embrace exploration and remote work.

Jordan Austin [73:17]: "There’s three buckets of Gen Z Personas. The Neo Traditionalist, the Fluid Pragmatist, and the Internet Age Explorers."

They challenge generational stereotypes, advocating for understanding and kindness across age groups.

6. Matt and Rachel's Breakup Discussion ([62:34] - [71:12])

Dani and Jordan delve into the breakup of Matt and Rachel, analyzing public perceptions and their personal insights into the dynamics that led to the split. They emphasize the importance of aligning life goals and maintaining open communication to sustain relationships.

Dani Austin [63:05]: "When I talked when I was around Matt, the one thing I will say is I just felt like he was kind of reminded me of my brother, like five years ago."

7. Closing Remarks and Final Reflections ([74:02] - [74:26])

The episode wraps up with Dani and Jordan encouraging listeners to engage with them on social media and teasing future discussions. They reinforce the episode's main theme: the ongoing journey to improve communication and understanding within relationships.

---

Notable Quotes:

• "Listen to understand, not to reply."
  Dani Austin [25:02]

• "Words are 7%. They're basically nothing. Oh, your tone is 38%. Your body language is 55%."
  Dani Austin [20:22]

• "Codependency is, like, an example of... I want Danny to be happy. And if Danny is not happy..."
  Jordan Austin [44:21]

• "We’re really trying to be supportive but sometimes end up taking away your power to solve your own problems."
  Jordan Austin [51:38]

---

This episode offers a raw and honest exploration of the intricacies of communication and personal growth within a committed relationship. Dani and Jordan's transparency provides listeners with relatable scenarios and actionable strategies to enhance their own interpersonal interactions.

Transcript

[Dani Austin]

Foreign podcast is a dear media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast, Influenced. Today is one of those days, babe.

[Jordan Austin]

It's a hard day. You know what I have in my bones right now?

[Dani Austin]

Anger.

[Jordan Austin]

Resentment.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, no, not resentment.

[Jordan Austin]

It's festered. It's festered from anger to resentment.

[Dani Austin]

What happened? You want to tell us?

[Jordan Austin]

Can I? No, can I? I want to try and explain it in the most vague way possible. I don't think we can move to the suburbs. The suburbs genuinely do not want Danny and Jordan to live in them. That's all I'll say.

[Dani Austin]

I have to say we. I was really excited ever since I took my break. I was like really excited for a slower pace of life. And, and so we were like, you know, we're like, let's get the yard. Let's move out to suburbs. We. We went and looked at a suburban area outside of Dallas. It is exactly an hour outside of Dallas. So where we live right now, we live 15 minutes from downtown. Like if we wanted to go to the American Airlines Center, Uber's gonna take us 15 minutes. So we live like in a neighborhood in Dallas. So this was like the true self suburbs. And we were so excited. We got out there, we filmed a little bit of the day. We like probably looked at like five or six houses.

[Jordan Austin]

The air felt different.

[Dani Austin]

The air felt. It was fresh.

[Jordan Austin]

Peace.

[Dani Austin]

Peace, right.

[Jordan Austin]

Calm serenity. And little did I know that is the opposite of what exists in these people out there.

[Dani Austin]

Listen, we had a. An interesting experience with one person out there, with one entity out there. It wasn't like the whole suburban area just because you have.

[Jordan Austin]

But this one entity turned the whole suburb against us.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, when you say the whole suburb, maybe it was like five or six other people, but babe, there's only five.

[Jordan Austin]

Or six people out there.

[Dani Austin]

No, you're being kind of. I think that the population. How many was it? Like 30,000.

[Jordan Austin]

30,000.

[Dani Austin]

I think you're being a little dramatic, babe.

[Jordan Austin]

I can never go there ever again and show myself it's at Cheesecake Factory. I could never do it. They. The.

[Dani Austin]

We're laughing because we were like, where's the live music? We're like, where's the live music out here? And we were walking around and there was like a. Like a Oneman Saxis playing in front of the Cheesecake Factory.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, no, listen, I was all in. I'm not going to say who wronged us, but I. This is a. One day, maybe we can tell this story, but it's a saga filled with cheese, crackers, Swedish fish attorneys, realtors. Square feet.

[Dani Austin]

Square feet.

[Jordan Austin]

Like the square feet of the house. Like. Like, I'm just trying to, like, tell. I wish. I wish so much in my bones I know that I could tell this story, because, honestly, Danny, I'm gonna. I'm gonna be honest. And maybe when I go on my healing journey, that next week, maybe I come back and I apologize for what I'm about to say. But, like, they bullied us out of the suburbs. Yeah, they. They. They came out with their pitchforks and they stabbed us and they ran us out of town, and. You know what? Fine. I'm not going to your suburb ever again.

[Dani Austin]

Honestly, I might be out there, like, once the dust settles. It's like everybody just needs to calm down.

[Jordan Austin]

They would eat you alive out there.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, but you know what? You get eaten alive anywhere. You know what I mean?

[Jordan Austin]

I know. But listen, I just ordered this coffee next level.

[Dani Austin]

It tastes like there's medicine in there. Taste that.

[Jordan Austin]

I don't want to. I don't really. I don't want to drink coffee from. Isn't that from Juice Land? Yeah. That's weird. No, it's been weird ever since you've gotten it.

[Dani Austin]

I'm not gonna lie.

[Jordan Austin]

Every time you get that piece of no. Classic, I'm like, why are you drinking coffee? You say it's coffee, but your tongue's orange, and I don't. I don't get it. So.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, he's just angry today.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm just. I'm.

[Dani Austin]

No, let me actually tell you. Juiceland has an amazing turmeric oat milk latte. That's why it's neon yellow. They put turmeric in it. No, it's delicious. Typically. But this one actually tastes like it has an antibiotic in it. Like I'm maybe poisoned right now. It's probably from that suburban mom.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, she probably laced it.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. Karen, Susan.

[Jordan Austin]

She went to the Juice Land, and she. She laced it anyway. She probably wants to kill us, to be honest.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, my gosh. Jordan.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm just saying.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, my gosh. Well, anyway, what have we been up to outside of looking at houses in the suburbs? We're going to continue a little house update. We've been looking.

[Jordan Austin]

You know, it really helped me. Right. Now let's both take a deep breath. What are three things you're grateful for? I need this exercise.

[Dani Austin]

What are three things you're grateful for? I am grateful for. Let's see.

[Jordan Austin]

It's tough when you're angry.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, wait, hold on. Let me think. I am grateful for our chiropractor. For Stratton. I mean, for Summit. Oh, my gosh, I can't stop. I can't. Our chiropractor, because I think he has a little tension in his neck. That's why he's been rolling over, y'all. Summit has been rolling over non, non stop. And it's. He's three weeks old and it's because. Or almost four weeks old. On Sunday, he'll be four weeks old. And I think it's because he has tension in the neck. So our chiropractor is amazing. I'm thankful for Cynthia. She gave me a 90 minute massage at Massage Envy the other night. I mean, talk about suburbs. Like, nothing makes you feel more suburban than going to a Massage Envy. And let me tell you, they're pretty good over there. I was like, wait, sponsorship?

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, but we'll never have it.

[Dani Austin]

We have a. We have a Massage Envy up the road. Okay, you're being such a drama king. And then I am thankful for. Oh, our podcast producer made me more sourdough bread, which I've eaten so much sourdough bread every day, I feel like I've turned into a piece of sourdough. Like, I. And then, okay, so she's made me, like, now it's her third loaf after the second loaf. Loaf. That's a funny word. After the second loaf. I went to the store and I was like, I'm gonna buy some sourdough. But I bought the one that comes like in like a plastic. You know, it's like, it's processed. It just wasn't the same.

[Jordan Austin]

It's not the same.

[Dani Austin]

But I tried. I tried. I bought some butter. I'd butter that stuff up. And I was like, man, all I really want is some sourdough. But here's the thing about sourdough. You can't ask someone to make you sourdough. It's like a thing. Like, it takes a long time. Like, how many hours does it take? Four or five hours. And has to sit overnight. So it's really like almost a 24 hour thing, right? Like, especially once you drive it over to someone's house. So I'm like, you know, you can't ask someone, hey, can you make me more sourdough bread? Like, it's not like, can you throw some cookies in the oven? You know what I mean? So you just have to wait. You have to wait around for someone to bring you sourdough bread.

[Jordan Austin]

Do you think there was ever, like a real Mrs. Baird?

[Dani Austin]

The bread. The bread lady the bread lady. I don't know.

[Jordan Austin]

Well, because she was. Just think about how much bread she made. She was just sitting and waiting for hours, and she had to go knead this bread, and she had to deliver. That's.

[Dani Austin]

That's someone I don't know anymore.

[Jordan Austin]

We should cover the history of Mrs. Baird's bread.

[Dani Austin]

Let's bring on one of the Baird family members.

[Jordan Austin]

What if they still are out here just making bread in their backyard? You're not well, just needing it.

[Dani Austin]

You're not well.

[Jordan Austin]

Isn't that what you call it? Need?

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. Yeah. So, yeah, that's what I'm thankful for. What are you grateful for?

[Jordan Austin]

I'm thankful for the laugh I just had. That's pretty funny. I'm also grateful for. Oh, we had a. I would say, breakthrough conversation.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, yeah? You want to tell people about it?

[Jordan Austin]

Well, I figure we will, but.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, okay.

[Jordan Austin]

Well. Right.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, yeah. It was, like, kind of deep. Like, I thought this was something kind of intimate, but no. Like, why not? You know, People know everything about us.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. I would say our breakthrough conversation. You know, like, when you're fighting and you're just, like, not getting anywhere, and.

[Dani Austin]

Then you just have that, like, you know, where I'm just, like. I just want to punch you in the face.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

You know, like, sometimes, like, I'm so angry at you. Like, it's just. It's unreal how much I feel that I hate you in the moment. Like, sometimes I feel that I'm, like, looking at you, and I'm like, how did I end up with this man?

[Jordan Austin]

And I'm like, I think she wants to kill me. I think. I think I should leave.

[Dani Austin]

No. I sometimes, like, kind of do a little bit, you know? I know, but I wouldn't. But that's not me.

[Jordan Austin]

Have you, like, you remember that, like, scene from. I think it's like, that movie this is Us or something. Or something. And it's like. She's like, sometimes I just want to, like, murder. And he's like, oh, how would you do it? She's like, I'd put you in a wood chipper. He's like, that's gross. Oh, man.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. No, it's okay.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, we'll talk about it. Because, you know, this. In our communication pep talk that we will give you, we will talk about how one of my demands was, I need you to see the best in me. Because I know in your eyes that you don't.

[Dani Austin]

But then you don't see the best in me sometimes.

[Jordan Austin]

True. We'll talk about a Second, I'm on my gratitude, so, like, let's not go trying to be grateful. Third thing I'm grateful for is. Oh, you know, this is kind of funny, but, you know, I went to the lunch today on your behalf. On our behalf? I guess I have no idea what you're talking about. Ey Entrepreneur of the Year.

[Dani Austin]

That's what. You didn't tell me about that.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, I went. It's okay.

[Dani Austin]

Why didn't I get to go?

[Jordan Austin]

You know, I.

[Dani Austin]

You didn't invite me.

[Jordan Austin]

I just honestly didn't think you'd want to go. It seemed like one of those things.

[Dani Austin]

It's not my era right now.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, no, I mean, you could. You could have come. They would like to have you.

[Dani Austin]

Here's the thing. I would appreciate the invite.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay. Good to know. I am gonna do that. And so anyway, I thought it was. It was a really fun time. We talked about a lot of cool things, and they know we know a lot of the same people.

[Dani Austin]

Cool.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Their kids are all in.

[Dani Austin]

Are we gonna win schools?

[Jordan Austin]

Huh?

[Dani Austin]

Are we gonna win it?

[Jordan Austin]

You know, I don't. I think it's more about the process.

[Dani Austin]

I mean, because, you know, like, it's my identity on the line.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Yeah, no, I. I alluded. I was like, hey, guys, listen, we're not gonna sign up if we can't win here.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

So I appreciate the nomination, but, like, so we were.

[Dani Austin]

If you missed last podcast, we were nominated for EY Entrepreneur of the Year.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. And different this time. We. We were nominated, which is fun. They want to do the husband wife duo, so. Yeah, I'm grateful for that. You know, I'm.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, yeah, it was there. That was. That. Was that three?

[Jordan Austin]

That was three.

[Dani Austin]

Was it? Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, I don't remember all three of them, but I definitely said three, I think.

[Dani Austin]

Was it three?

[Jordan Austin]

That was three.

[Dani Austin]

It's okay. Even if you said two, it's like, you know, baby step.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm trying.

[Dani Austin]

You're trying? You're trying.

[Jordan Austin]

This is a new exercise for me. I usually like to just sit in my resentment, anger.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, no, same. It's just I like to stew it up.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, I don't want to be happy. I want to be mad.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, Same. It feels so good sometimes.

[Jordan Austin]

It does, cuz, like, you know why it feels good?

[Dani Austin]

Tell me.

[Jordan Austin]

Cuz you're the victim.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, I love being the victim. I know it feels good, Susan. I mean, Karen.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

You victimized me.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Like I'm the one that's getting hurt here.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Karen.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Been Going.

[Dani Austin]

And the topic this week was resentment.

[Jordan Austin]

And this other guy, who was not in a group but was next to me talking about was so interesting, hearing how other men deal with resentment. And it's so funny how it festers in all of us so differently.

[Dani Austin]

How do some people deal with anger? Because resentment is essentially, like, another form of anger.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, well, for me, I just kind of bottle it up and then tell no one. But these other guys. These other guys were like, man, and this guy, this mother ever stiffed me. And he was like, oh, man, I wanted to murder him. And he's like, but I can't. And, like, that's what. That's what I've learned is like, I got to forgive that person who stiffed me. And I was like, whoa.

[Dani Austin]

He's like, I want to take a baseball bat to the car.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. No, slash the tires. Yeah. And I just. I. Man, that anger, she gotta get it out.

[Dani Austin]

Because I know sometimes, like, you know, I never was that kid that, like, punched the other kid, but, like, I wish I would have been at one point, because I bet it would have felt real good in that moment.

[Jordan Austin]

Is this you, or is this just your hormone set?

[Dani Austin]

For the most part.

[Jordan Austin]

Because it could just be, like, when you look at me with that, you know, that hatred that we talked about a second ago, I'm like, she didn't mean it. It's just her hormones.

[Dani Austin]

Anyway, we have been doing. You know what I think would be really helpful is we have been doing a lot of. A lot of marriage counseling. Not because we have had marital issues, but because I think we're both changing. Like, you know, they say people change, like, every seven to 10 years.

[Jordan Austin]

Oh, yeah. We are both evolving.

[Dani Austin]

Like, we're both evolving, and we're not the same people we were. And so, like, the things that used to work just don't work anymore on each one of us. And, like, Jordan's literally not the same person I married in a good way. And I'm probably not the same person you married.

[Jordan Austin]

No.

[Dani Austin]

Or maybe I am, and that's the problem. But anyway.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm like. I'm like, did we get that on tape?

[Dani Austin]

No, but I just. It takes me a little bit slower. I'm a little bit more, like, on my own pace, anyway. And so, yeah, like, I think that we were like, okay, we need to kind of learn how to deal with this newer, you know, better improved version of ourselves. So we started going to marriage counseling again. And the biggest thing that we learned, that we are. We're really extremely Bad at was, like, communicating through conflict, like, communicating our feelings, communicating when one person was. Their needs were not being met. Like, we. It started so many fights where we were just. We were just going back and forth, back and forth, just trying to make the other person understand our perspective and our feelings, but not, like, listening to the other person and understanding where they were coming from. And so it's been crazy because, like, now I don't even know if you know this. Like, even when we fight now, like, our fights are so, like, inspired by therapy now. Like, we fight, and then we'll be like. Okay, so to recap, what you're saying is. What you're saying is you feel, you know, like, we actually talk in a different way now.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Have you noticed that? I thought we could go over, like, some of the actual strategies, like, tangible things that we've been doing in our communication when we've been dealing through, like, working through conflict. Because it's, like, little tips and tricks that make a huge difference.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Do you think that my communication towards you has changed that much?

[Dani Austin]

A million percent. But, like, honestly, like, I'm 10 steps ahead of you for sure.

[Jordan Austin]

Whoa. Really?

[Dani Austin]

In the communication Health. Health of our communication.

[Jordan Austin]

Listen, I don't want to, like, just break up these 10 rules we're about to share right before we share them. But, like, see, it's so funny because I wasn't sure if my communication changed or just the way that you received it changed.

[Dani Austin]

You've gotten better, but you still have a little bit of work to do, and I definitely have been working on the way I receive it for sure.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay, so. So I could be. I could be both. Could be. Right?

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. You've definitely gone from, like, a one to a five.

[Jordan Austin]

Interesting.

[Dani Austin]

I'm like, an eight.

[Jordan Austin]

Before we get into all of our strategy and tips and tricks, what's the biggest trigger in my current 5 state of communication for you?

[Dani Austin]

Well, let me tell you what you used to do that, like, really was hard for me was like, I would be like, jordan, I feel like you don't give me, like, you have no empathy for, like, how much I'm staying up breastfeeding every night. Like, I have no. I'm so exhausted. Like, my body hurts so much. I feel like you do not feel empathy for, like, what I'm going through. And you're treating me like any other day when I'm, like, postpartum, and you would be like, danny, your feelings don't make sense. You literally would sit.

[Jordan Austin]

I never said that.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, my gosh. I Literally, like, it's all I journal about.

[Jordan Austin]

Let me.

[Dani Austin]

Jordan, you would be like, your feelings. Danny. Like, I. You would be like, danny, I did this, this, and this. So, like, I get that you feel that way, but your feelings don't make sense. Like, your feelings are wrong.

[Jordan Austin]

I don't. I think that. Can I just practice how I think I would have said it? I think what I would have probably said is, hey, Danny, like, I totally understand. Hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, I totally understand your feelings. But, like, you know, there's. There's a difference probably between, like, factually what's happening and then, like, how you feel about them.

[Dani Austin]

I. Look, I put quotes. I put quotes. When you say something, and I write it down verbatim, like I actually do, because I know that it will get to this point where you deny what you said. No, I quote you.

[Jordan Austin]

Let me see these quotes. No, I'll read the ones I'm comfortable sharing on to the interwebs. No, you can't. You can't blast me like this. Let me read my own quotes.

[Dani Austin]

No, these are, like, serious. They're like. It's too much. I quote you all the time. It's, like, one of my favorite things to do.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, obsessed with me.

[Dani Austin]

I know, but. Yeah, so. So anyway. But that was really hard for me because your feelings don't have to make sense. They're feelings. So let's go through. I actually have a really interesting one.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay.

[Dani Austin]

That is gonna maybe blow your mind.

[Jordan Austin]

Is this a strategy or a example of.

[Dani Austin]

So I actually wrote down six tips for communicating through conflict with your loved ones. Okay, so this one is super interesting, and I don't think you'll know this one. Also, like, shout out to our therapist, because he taught me a lot of these. He's gonna be like, these are my. This is my content. Okay, so. So when you're communicating with someone, what percentage? So you have the three V's. You have verbal, vocal, and visual communication. So verbal would be, like, the words that you're saying. Vocal would be, like, your tone. You know, like, how are you saying it? Your tone, you know, that's a. That's a tone. And then visual would be your body language. Like, how are you. What are you doing with your arms, your hands, your eyes, your whatever. So what percentage. When you're communicating with words, tone, and body language, what, like, how much merit do you put on each? Like, what? So, like, if it's. If it's a. If it's a hundred percent, how much do. Does words mean? How much does tone mean and how much does body language mean in the total of communication?

[Jordan Austin]

Am I supposed to guess? Yeah, I would say it's not equal. Split.

[Dani Austin]

That would be 33.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, 33.33 or whatever. I don't think it's equal. So I think words are probably 60%.

[Dani Austin]

Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

I would say tone is another 30%, and then I would say. What's the. What do you.

[Dani Austin]

Body language?

[Jordan Austin]

Body language is the last 10%.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, let me tell you what it really is. Words are 7%. They're basically nothing. Oh, your tone is 38%. Your body language is 55%.

[Jordan Austin]

Oh, yeah. Your therapist does not like my body language. She called that out.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. Because when you're talking to me, this is Jordan in our therapy sessions, you're not facing toward me.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay. Can I ask you something, though?

[Dani Austin]

Look at your body language right now. You know what your body language tells me right now?

[Jordan Austin]

Well, you just reamed me with my.

[Dani Austin]

Quotes, let me tell you. No, it says you're relaxed, you're confident, you're a little shut off from me. You feel a little defensive. Like, hug. No. What were you going to say?

[Jordan Austin]

Have you ever, like, you know, like, when you leave a voicemail or like a voice note to someone and then you, like, listen it back and you're like, that's my voice.

[Dani Austin]

Every. Every time we post anything on the Internet?

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, it's so. A lot of the times, it's so interesting. Would you call it 58% tone?

[Dani Austin]

38.

[Jordan Austin]

38. 38. Tone is so interesting because when I was growing up, everyone would always say I was so monotone. Even when I read ads, y'all are like, the way that you hear me saying it in the way I think I'm expressing it in my head, or what I hear in my head is so different. So isn't tone subjective? It's a genuine question.

[Dani Austin]

No, I think tone. I mean, it's literally like if you are yelling at someone. Okay, that's yelling. If you're whispering, then you're trying to be quiet. If you're. If you're sarcastic, maybe you get a lower voice. If you're laughing. That's tone. You know what I mean? Like, yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

So we're not talking about, like. Like, octaves. We're talking. Well, I know, but, like, sometimes I feel like it comes off more cold. Even when I'm trying to be super careful with my words with you. It's like, I think sometimes when I shut down in our communication, I'm like, okay, I Am.

[Dani Austin]

You know what you do a lot.

[Jordan Austin]

No, but tell me. You're gonna. Tell me.

[Dani Austin]

You say the word. You say Danny in the middle of their sentences a lot. It's extremely condescending, in my opinion. You'll be like, okay. But you'll be like, listen, Danny, Danny. And you're like, danny.

[Jordan Austin]

It's so funny because what. Oh, man, I wish that there was like another. I wish we had more male listeners. Because what I know is going to happen when people listen to this podcast and I can tell by our producers head shakes who's a female, just being like, yes, Queen. Yes, Queen. It's like, you're going to be like. They're going to be like, go off, Danny. Yes, yes, yes. I feel this is my husband all the time. And I wonder if the husbands listened, if they'd be like, oh, my gosh.

[Dani Austin]

No. Like, because here's the thing. Like, just don't be a jerk. Like, honestly, just be nicer, right? Like, just have some empathy. Like, females are hormonal. Like, we are sensitive. We are going through a lot. Like, we are postpartum. We are, you know, breastfeeding children. Like, I am sensitive. So to be sensitive.

[Jordan Austin]

But here's my question is, like, again, I'm just trying to present a counterpoint. I don't know, a single husband, of all the husbands that I know that's like, woke up and is like, you know what? I'm be a jerk today. I'm gonna be a jerk to my wife. That's what. You know what? I think it's gonna pay me dividends if I'm a jerk. Like, we all know for jerks, we're in the doghouse. Like, it's, you know how cold it is out there. Like, no one wants to be a jerk. And so, like, where I get so confused with these conversations, it's like, Like I'm like, you. You hear me being a jerk. And in my heart of hearts, I'm like, be sensitive. Be sensitive. You know?

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, maybe it's just.

[Jordan Austin]

That's why I asked about the octaves, because I thought maybe we were just off in terms of like. Like, you think I'm. You think I'm sounding like this? I really should be like, danny, I love you, girl. You know? Like, you know, it's just like, maybe if I, like, play with the octaves, like, we can get on the same page of hearing each.

[Dani Austin]

Not the octa. It's like. Okay, okay, no. Okay, listen, I'm being hard on you. I'm sorry.

[Jordan Austin]

It's okay. It's okay. What I'm doing is I'm over here just really trying to own my side of the street, okay? So you just let me know how I can do that better. I'm not, I'm not fighting you back. I'm here to own my side of the street.

[Dani Austin]

So you're saying that you're listening to learn. Listening to understand, not listening to defend.

[Jordan Austin]

No, this one you got me dead right on.

[Dani Austin]

No, I'm, I'm just, I'm kidding.

[Jordan Austin]

Is that tip number?

[Dani Austin]

That's tip number two.

[Jordan Austin]

So just explain it.

[Dani Austin]

So tip number two is listen to understand, not to reply so. So many times. And I would say this was probably what we did the most. This is what we did wrong. The most in our communication was we both would just get on the defense and try to prove and try to win the argument. So let's just say the argument is about did like I asked you to put the dishes away after dinner and you didn't put the dishes away, did.

[Jordan Austin]

It 15 minutes later? That also ends up in fights. It's like when you say, will you do the dishes after dinner? What you really mean is like, do it now.

[Dani Austin]

No, I don't care.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, no, it's okay, you do.

[Dani Austin]

Okay. Okay. So you know that it's like, that makes me feel like you don't care, that you don't care about me when you don't do the dishes. Let's just say for example, and then.

[Jordan Austin]

Or bring you coffee in the morning. Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

And then for example, Jordan was saying.

[Jordan Austin]

You told me that you told me you felt forgotten last Saturday morning. I, I also, the thing about our morning routine, or my morning routine is like. And I'm totally cool with this, like, I'll wake up at around 6:30 because Stella is like getting Cheerios or something crazy outside. So I'm like, okay, I have to wake up by 6:30 because if I'm not up by 6:30, I can't shower first. And if I don't shower first, then I'm kind of like moody and grumpy and groggy and so like my shower's my reset and it's like my signal that I'm like, okay, day started and then I. And then I go and make Danny coffee and then I get Stratton up. So there's three things I have to do in the morning. Okay? And what I've learned is that if I. Last Saturday morning I got up, I showered first because Stratton still was still asleep. And then I got Stratton. And then I made Danny coffee. And when I walked in there, she had her, her boob pumps on, and it was like this, like, low light shadow on her face from her cell phone. It's dark, the fan's going and it's silent. And I just say, hey, babe. And she says, feel forgotten. It's because I, I, I effed up owning my s. I effed up the series of events. Like, I should have pre made the coffee, gotten out of bed, rolled out of bed, gotten the coffee, brought it there. Innocent until proven guil. Guilty. After that, showered, then gotten Stratten. And it's like every morning, I can't get this series.

[Dani Austin]

Can I just tell you what's happening, though? Throughout the entire night is every two hours, I'm waking up the pump, and I look at you. I just, I look to my left.

[Jordan Austin]

Yes.

[Dani Austin]

And you're over there just snoring away. Sniff. Snoring away. Okay. And I'm just struggling. I'm covered in night sweats. Breast milk's flying everywhere. Every two hours, I'm getting up, I have to wash. Like, you know, we get the, all the parts. I have to get the new parts. And then it happens all over every two hours. All I really am looking forward to in the morning is that cup of coffee. And I think, you know what? The one thing he'll do for me will be that cup of coffee. You know, I'm feeding his child, I'm making, you know, food for his child that I birthed, that came out of my vajayjay naturally, you know, for sure. So I was like, you know, just that one cup of coffee will really just do it all for me.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Yeah. No, I feel that I've been waking up with, like, horrible morning anxiety. Like, I just did something wrong, like, truly, like, the past four days, because you just. And I, I like, I like. It's like, so crazy. I wake up with this morning anxiety, and I immediately, like, open my eyes. I'm like, what did I do wrong? What did I do wrong? And I've been trying to figure out.

[Dani Austin]

Like, Because I'm just staring at you all night.

[Jordan Austin]

No, for real. Like, I've been trying to figure out, like, where that energy is coming from. And I just think I identified. It's coming from your soul into my soul. Staring at me with hatred while you pump all night.

[Dani Austin]

It's not hatred.

[Jordan Austin]

No, it's not hatred. It's just low grade.

[Dani Austin]

No, it's not. It's not.

[Jordan Austin]

Oh, my God. Okay.

[Dani Austin]

Okay. So Anyway, my point was, what was my example that I had with the. We were just, I was talking about listening to understand, not to reply.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, okay. The dishes. Okay, so the dishes. Let's just say that Jordan didn't do the dishes and I say it makes me feel like you don't care about me when you don't do the dishes. And then maybe in the past Jordan would say, danny, that makes no sense. I did. I picked the kids up from school. I, you know, ironed your shirt. I'm making this up. He's never ironed a shirt in his life.

[Jordan Austin]

Sorry. I'm getting so roasted.

[Dani Austin]

Oh my gosh.

[Jordan Austin]

It is so funny because I'm getting so roasted and everyone's still going to be like, go off queen. You're the queen. You birth her. It's more important than ever to make sure our kids are getting the vitamins they need to stay healthy. One of my favorite kids brands is Haya, the pediatrician approved superpowered chewable vitamin. The founders are dads who were shocked to learn what ingredients were in most children's vitamins. They spent three years curating top pediatricians, nutritionists, scientists and parents to formulate a super powered chewable made with 15 essential vitamins and minerals while also including a blend of 12 fruits, fruits and veggies. The result is Haya, a daily children's vitamin that's supercharged to fill in the gaps and always with zero added sugar and zero gummy junk so you can be confident your kids are getting the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults. My fellow parents know getting your kids to eat their greens can be the biggest struggle. This is why I love Highest Kids Daily Green plus Superfoods, a chocolate flavored greens powder designed specifically for kids. Packed with 55 plus whole food ingredients to support brain power, development and digestion. Just scoop, shake and sip with milk or any non dairy beverage for a delicious and nutritious boost your kids will actually enjoy. I'm also a sucker for good packaging and Haya's branding is super cute and fun for the kiddos. You get these cool bottles plus stickers with your first order and then they send you eco friendly refills every month. We've worked out a special deal with Haya for their best selling children's vitamin. Receive 50% off your first order. To claim this deal you must go to hyahealth.com dannyaustin this deal is not available on their regular website. Go to H I Y H E a l t h.com dannyaustin and get your kids the full body nourishment they need to grow into healthy adults.

[Dani Austin]

Speaking of postpartum and getting my health back to normal after having summit, I want to talk to you guys about one of my favorite women's health products, OH Positive Supplements. OH Positive is on a mission to deliver innovative, clinically backed fun to take products that support women throughout every stage of their life. Whether you've just had your first cycle or first baby, O Positive is here to help you keep your hormones balanced. O Positives Uro Vaginal Probiotics is one of the top five supplements on Amazon and they have multiple number one products in Target for intimate care, pms, menopause and menopause categories. The URO Probiotic Supplement has clinically studied probiotic strains and prebiotic fibers that target issues like off PH level and more. With so many factors in our everyday life like tight clothing, sweat from working out, hormones and more disruptions ding our vaginal health and causing imbalances and discomfort, OH Positive makes taking care of your womanhood easier. It's truly become a staple of my routine and I love that it's science backed and it's so important for women to prioritize their health around every turn and this is a great way to do it. Plus, O Positive has something for every woman no matter what stage of life she's in. They are here to support you. Take proactive care of your health and head to oppositive.com dani or enter dani at checkout for 25% off your first purchase. That's O-P-O-S-I-T I V.com dani for 25% off it's a new year, which means new health goals. Well, something I've been seeing over and over again is how having a healthy gut is imperative for your health goals. That's where Just Thrive Probiotics come in. Did you know most probiotics die in your harsh stomach acid before they can do much good? Just Thrive Probiotic is the only probiotic clinically proven to arrive in your gut a hundred percent alive for you. That means better digestion, healthy immunity, great energy and easy weight management. This means metabolism that works for you, not against you and digestive comfort you can feel. It comes in a capsule or berry flavored gummy so there's an option for everyone in the family. Plus Just Thrive Probiotics are backed by an industry leading guarantee. Love the way you feel or get a full product refund no questions asked. Visit just thrive health.com and use code Danny for 20 off your first 90 day bottle. That's like getting a month for free. That's justthrive.com, promo code. Danny, here's to your best health with just thrive. Then you would be like, dani, that makes no sense. I did all these other things. Yes, but it's like it doesn't matter because if I feel that way, you can't take away the way. The way I feel.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, for sure.

[Dani Austin]

You know what I mean?

[Jordan Austin]

For sure. Oh, my gosh.

[Dani Austin]

Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

Can I just ask this question? I mean, what if I felt. I'm just gonna make some up. What if I felt like. Because, man, I'm just trying to think like, what if I feel something that's totally illogical? Because I feel like when I feel something that's totally illogical, I get put on trial.

[Dani Austin]

Well, okay, give an example.

[Jordan Austin]

I can't give an example because. But what I'm saying is, like, I feel like feelings are fact when it's a one way street, but if my feelings are not factual, then I don't know if they're heard right.

[Dani Austin]

So what are you feeling?

[Jordan Austin]

I don't know. That's the larger issue. I don't know. Let's move on. Okay. We'll get into double standards probably in some week.

[Dani Austin]

Okay. Okay. Number two, it's very helpful when you're having a conversation to set goals. Goals for the conversation. Before you get started.

[Jordan Austin]

We did this well yesterday, huh?

[Dani Austin]

The goal for a conversation is to get on the same page, figure out how to move forward in a healthier way and, you know, discern or, you know, we'll write down three things that we'll each do differently, you know, but having goals will also keep you, like staying focused on the. On the conversation and not. What do we call it, Kitchen sinking everything, which is very easy whenever you are angry with someone to just say, okay, you're upset I didn't do the dishes. Well, let me lay out 10 other things that you know I'm upset about to like or 10 other things that I did right that day to prove that you're wrong. That's what we call kitchen sinking. And that never goes well because then you just talk for hours and you just leave even angrier. So just staying focused on the conversation and setting a goal, that has helped us a lot.

[Jordan Austin]

Did you really. Did we really unpack the listening to understand not to.

[Dani Austin]

I don't. I don't know. Do you want to go back to that one?

[Jordan Austin]

I mean, I. I think it's one of the more helpful ones because I feel like I'm always listening to defend or reply. You know, I think I'm most guilty of that. And one thing I've learned from this, for all the, you know, our two male listeners, is, you know, you never. I never understood how much time these conversations really take if you want to do them right. You know, like, we process on totally different time frames.

[Dani Austin]

I would say they're shorter now. If we do it right.

[Jordan Austin]

No, because we don't loop back around. But the one trick of the trade I feel like I learned was when you're listening to understand and not listening to respond, I give you a really. I give you a long time to respond. Like, I would used to be like, if there was gap, and you were just kind of, like, processing and thinking, you know, those moments in our conversations where I'll be like, you know, I mean, here's how I feel about something, and you just are silent. I used to be like, okay, well. And then I would try and work it out for you. I'd be like, okay, well, so are you feeling this? Because I would want to kind of, like, move the. The conversation along, you know, And I just. I really underestimated how. How long that silence can go on. I, you know, don't record our conversations, but I do time them. And I think the longest silence we have had is about 2 minutes and 15 seconds.

[Dani Austin]

I believe it. From me.

[Jordan Austin]

From you? Yeah. Because you just take a longer time to process. But I've.

[Dani Austin]

Because you know that I'm thinking all the things I want to say that I shouldn't.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay, that's fair. I mean, you're clearly processing something. But I used to remember. I used to not listen, to understand. So I'd fill the gaps. And then what I did is I probably overwhelmed you more because I gave you, like, are you thinking this? Are you feeling this? Are you feeling this? Are you feeling this? Because I was just, like, trying to move it along, and so I just thought that was a really good trick of the trade. Might be particular to our relationship.

[Dani Austin]

Just. So just sit. Sit and wait.

[Jordan Austin]

Truly embrace the silence. I mean, do you. Do you honestly feel like that's helpful?

[Dani Austin]

I never thought about it.

[Jordan Austin]

Really?

[Dani Austin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

Oh, it's been a good thing that I feel like I've done.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, so maybe, like, bite your tongue. Just listen.

[Jordan Austin]

Just. I. I would say maybe understand that brains move at different speeds, and that's okay. Like, no, I'm not saying yours moves slower.

[Dani Austin]

It does. It's okay. It's like, it's okay.

[Jordan Austin]

You are a way slower processor than I am, and, like, that's totally okay. And I think that you used to say in therapy, I think the words were, she just talks so much, you know? Remember?

[Dani Austin]

She does.

[Jordan Austin]

No, you said that about me.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

Just talk so much.

[Dani Austin]

You. You. I would say that you would go off on rants.

[Jordan Austin]

Rants. Right, right, right.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

And so do you agree with that?

[Dani Austin]

Well, you don't. See, I'm getting curious here.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, I. I think I agree with it now because I've really understood just that silence, you know? Like, I think a lot of my rants were, like, me trying to fill the gap of the silence, which was.

[Dani Austin]

Necessary for you to process, was this number. This is probably number four. There is a difference between sharing your feelings and sharing your thoughts. A lot of times we get together and we're like, let's have a conversation where we can share our feelings and try to understand each other's feelings. Yeah, but really, you just get together. You recap the conflict. You recap the stories. You share your thoughts, not your feelings. Feelings are actually, you know, I wrote some. Some feelings down, and it's pain, loneliness, fear, anger, guilt, shame, joy. And so you can. Like, a lot of times you're just recapping story to get your point across, but you don't actually share. Like, hey, ultimately, when you didn't do the dishes, it actually just made me feel lonely. What? Why would it make you feel lonely? Because it makes me feel like you don't care about me. And I feel very lonely. And I want to feel like I have my partner and, you know, I'm just. I'm making this all up. But actually kind of like getting to the root of what you're feeling in it, I think can help create some more empathy between each party instead of just, like, going back and forth over the facts, because you and I just went. We typically just go at the facts, and we're like, both, like, little attorneys trying to, like, prove our point, you know? And, like, you really could be an attorney, so it's not easy to argue with you.

[Jordan Austin]

Thank you for that. Sweet of you. Yeah. No, I mean, and it's not about the facts.

[Dani Austin]

What's it about?

[Jordan Austin]

The feelings.

[Dani Austin]

There you go, babe. So good.

[Jordan Austin]

I mean, I am purple belt. Not black, not blue. Purple with one star.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, moving on. Number five. Oh. I put feelings are always valid, regardless of what is said or done. And then number six, try using I statements instead of you rookie.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, that's easy. It's like 101.

[Dani Austin]

What's an example of this?

[Jordan Austin]

Like. Like, you're mean versus, like, I feel like you are being mean.

[Dani Austin]

I think those are kind of the same thing.

[Jordan Austin]

No, because one's like, I feel in.

[Dani Austin]

My feelings, but I think it would be like your mean is one of them and then another. What? Like, instead of saying you're mean, you would say, I feel hurt or I feel sad or I feel angry when you don't do the dishes or something.

[Jordan Austin]

I feel lonely when you are being mean.

[Dani Austin]

Still going to work on this one.

[Jordan Austin]

No, I'm kidding. I'm messing with it. I'm. I'm just. I'm. I'm just roasting myself. I'm joking, guys. I understand the I versus you. I'm not an idiot.

[Dani Austin]

Jeez.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm a purple belt.

[Dani Austin]

A purple belt. I did. Okay, so, yeah, those are, like, some little things you've been learning in therapy. Anything else you've been learning in individual therapy?

[Jordan Austin]

Live, laugh, love. I can't just live, laugh love. Why are you so serious? Just live, laugh, love. Oh, gosh. I mean, I. I honestly. Listen, I can't answer that. Unless you want to open up a giant.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, okay. We won't. We won't.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay. Because, like, listen, I'm going deep into the woods of Tennessee next.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, yeah, Tell them about what you're doing.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm going deep into the woods of Tennessee to. I'm going after my black belt. I'm going to heal. I'm going to own my side of the street.

[Dani Austin]

So he's doing this. Like, they're. I'm not going to say which one it is. Yeah, because they're. They're. They have them all over the country. They have some in California. I mean, some in Texas. They're everywhere. And he's going for a week to a. It's like a healing retreat. Is it healing or like, it's like a therapy retreat, essentially. I want to do it, too.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. I. It's a lot of childhood trauma. No.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, sorry. I thought you were.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm not saying I'm going for childhood drama. Saying, like, that's what it's. It can help with that.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, it can help with anything.

[Jordan Austin]

Yes.

[Dani Austin]

We've had a friend that went for. Never mind. I won't say.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, I'm going for probably codependency. I think that's my sickness. Like, you are my sickness.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, God.

[Jordan Austin]

Codependency is, like, example of. This would be like, I want Danny to be happy. And if Danny is not happy. It's really hard for me not to be happy, you know? And so the. The shadow, which sounds like a really good thing, Trust me, it's wrapped in all great intentions. You know, we have a support group, me and the Instagram husbands. And, yeah, we're all codependent. And all we talk, all we sit about, what we used to sit around and talk about is, like, I don't freaking understand. Like, we love our wives. Like, we're good dudes. Like, we're. Yeah, we're trying to, like, help them and, like, fix all these things in their lives. And, like, the shadow side of codependency is that, like, I kind of wrap you in bubble wrap, and then, like, you don't try to. I take away your power to solve your own problem.

[Dani Austin]

It's good.

[Jordan Austin]

And then we hit a. What was last episode? How'd you define it? Rock bottom. So I'm going deep into the woods of Tennessee to own my part in this rock bottom episode.

[Dani Austin]

This. In this bubble wrap, even.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm actually kind of scared because it's. I've heard it's, like, pretty intense. I had a deep, deep.

[Dani Austin]

My friend therapy. My friend's husband did it, and he does it, like, a couple times. Like, he's done multiple. And they. People love it. You know, you're gonna be out there. You're gonna be, like, out there. You're gonna be out there with Aaron Rodgers just beating that drum.

[Jordan Austin]

You know, I'm not going to do Ayuaska.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. But, you know, it's, like, similar vibes. Like, you know, you singing Kumbaya and you're all just beating that drum, and you're like, have braids and no body pain.

[Jordan Austin]

I don't think it's gonna be like that.

[Dani Austin]

It'd be like that. No, it's not.

[Jordan Austin]

No.

[Dani Austin]

I bet you're gonna make some great friends. I want to go so bad.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

I want to go heal someone, but.

[Jordan Austin]

They take my phone, and I'm like, at this point, I'm like, I'll throw this thing into a pond. Like, you take it. So, yeah, we'll see how it goes.

[Dani Austin]

That's so weird. I just realized I won't be able to talk to you.

[Jordan Austin]

Right now.

[Dani Austin]

Are you scared about that? Oh, my God. We're gonna love each other so much.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, you know, like, distance speaks the harder 1,000%.

[Dani Austin]

Like, I just, like, I just want to miss you.

[Jordan Austin]

I know.

[Dani Austin]

Like. Like, just. We just need a chunk of time, like, a way where I just, like, miss you.

[Jordan Austin]

You're like. It's like so, like dawning on you that you're not going to be able to talk to me. And literally I've just been like, she's not gonna be able to talk to me. Like, I've thought about it for like.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, it's just now coming to me.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, it's just now coming to you.

[Dani Austin]

It. Yeah. What does it make you feel that you can't talk to me for a week? That means you can't check in? Isn't that weird? Like, what if there's an emergency?

[Jordan Austin]

No, babe, I went to the divi office, you know? Yeah, like, I. I went to the divi office for like an hour. For like an hour. And she calls me and she's like, the tires pop. What do I do? And I'm like, you know, part of my, like, codependencies. I'm like, you, like, I. I can't be like, you're smart. Figure it out. Like, I, like, I'm like, okay, well, like, don't worry, babe. Like, I'll dial the number. I'll like all three way in. And then like, you just like, you're like, okay, thank you. And then you're like talking to the agent. I'm like, okay, like, I gotta go and, you know, hang up. And so, yeah, I don't know what's gonna happen, but, like, I know that you're gonna survive.

[Dani Austin]

And just telling you, it's because I asked you to just send me the number. Also, like, anything car related, I feel like your husband should help you with.

[Jordan Austin]

Totally.

[Dani Austin]

Listen, my dad always helped me with my car.

[Jordan Austin]

Hey, listen, listen, listen.

[Dani Austin]

I took care of that one time when they. When they called the fire department on our house by accident and we didn't have a fire. And then I remembered the passcode and you didn't remember the passcode.

[Jordan Austin]

Danny, listen to me. If you. If you figure out the formula of codependency of when is healthy for me to be supportive, I. E. Fix your tire versus when is unhealthy. I. E. What's something unhealthy? I've done that. It's made you feel comfortable.

[Dani Austin]

Well, I know what the formula is. I can teach you. And I'll probably save you a lot of money. You don't have to go to Tennessee anymore, Danny.

[Jordan Austin]

Austin, I need to go to Tennessee.

[Dani Austin]

No, it's fine.

[Jordan Austin]

So important.

[Dani Austin]

Can I just get away? No, I just telling you. Can I just tell you though, something? Okay, I think the difference is, is when I call and ask for help.

[Jordan Austin]

I don't buy it. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Like, okay, for example. For example, you're thinking about making a change in your business. You know what I'm talking about? Okay. Like, you know the new person. You asked me to text all these people, and we're like, can you go back channel this other person for me? And I was like, what's back channel mean? Like, ask for references. Like, do y'all like, working with this person? You know, and stuff like that. And you asked me to do that, and I was like, my. My codependency spidey senses went.

[Dani Austin]

It's like our business, though. We're doing it together.

[Jordan Austin]

Right? But, like, I knew the reason I didn't do it is because I knew that if I would have done that task for you, you would have not felt bought in and felt ownership yourself over that decision. Does that make sense?

[Dani Austin]

No. I would have. I think I would. I would have appreciated it.

[Jordan Austin]

This is why I'm going to Tennessee. I don't understand the formula. The formula's F'd, guys. Like, I mean, I. I sit here and I try and I think about the formula. It's like, I'm trying to find a new element.

[Dani Austin]

Kind of like the same thing that a lot of moms and daughters go through. You know, whenever it's like, mom, like, I. It's like, I don't want you around because all you do is just like, try to give me advice and, like, tell me what to do and how to live my life. And it's like, mom, like, I'll call and ask. Like, if I call and ask for help, then that's when I want help. Otherwise, I'm, you know, 32 years old. I really am just now looking for, like, someone, like, another kind of friend. Like, I'm not, like, I'll call you and ask your help when we need it, but I don't need you to come, like, parent me all the time.

[Jordan Austin]

Right.

[Dani Austin]

You know?

[Jordan Austin]

Right.

[Dani Austin]

It's kind of like that. It's like, yeah, yeah, like, when we call and ask for help, and if you want to set your boundaries and say, no, Danny, I'm not going to do this, then that's a different story. But, like, I think the codependency is doing stuff for people when they're not asking for it, right?

[Jordan Austin]

Probably. Probably.

[Dani Austin]

So.

[Jordan Austin]

I mean, you know, the subtle shadow side of codependency is it is this kind of really mind f way version of manipulation and control. Like, because, you know, like, I Think part of your rock bottom, and you can correct me if I'm wrong or take this out, but part of your rock bottom was you had a. A team around you whose job is to reduce your stress and to make sure that you are happy and thriving, et cetera. Like, literally, it's their job in this weird world of Instagram, like, it is their job to support you. And I think celebrities go through this too, right? Where it's like they have everything not done for them, but, like, they at least have people who are trying to do everything for them. Okay.

[Dani Austin]

Protect them.

[Jordan Austin]

Protect them.

[Dani Austin]

Watch out for them.

[Jordan Austin]

Watch out for them, and plan everything, Read them, and even if they're not communicating and asking for help, like, reacting and being. Yeah. Fill gaps. And on top of your team that you had, you had a husband who thought it was his job to reduce any sense of friction that you had in your life.

[Dani Austin]

Can I give an example?

[Jordan Austin]

Great, go.

[Dani Austin]

So I. And I can't think. Sorry, I can't think of specific examples, but I can think of, like, themes that have happened. Like, there would be hate that I'd be getting online or narratives online, and everyone on my team would know about it except for me.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

So many times. And, like, everyone would be, like, talking about, oh, this is going on, or is she going to find out? Or does she know? Or whatever. And it's not doing it. They're not doing it out of, like, harm. They're actually trying to protect me, probably because they're like, man, she. They. Since they actually know what's going on in my personal life, they're like, probably like, she can't handle this on top of all of that. And so then, like. And then I would find out, like, two weeks later, I'd be like, what the heck? Why didn't you guys tell me?

[Jordan Austin]

Like, yeah. And then the belief was, oh, we didn't want you to feel stressed or you're so fragile or whatever the belief was. And it was like, good, right? Like, it's.

[Dani Austin]

It's. It's done out of a good place in your heart.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. It's like everything I've done the past two years, I think, has been because, like, I'm trying to be the best husband that textbook. I thought I was supposed to be. But, like, the shadow side of it is, like, you know, in some instances, I took away your ability to fail or to feel stress or to feel. Or to even feel anything and figure out how you feel about it. Right. And so in a crazy, counterintuitive way, like, that was, like, this weird form of me trying to make you happy so that, like, our home could be stable. Because I was like, if I don't do this, and if I don't protect Danny and if I don't get ahead of all these things and carry this giant burden of, like, wrapping this protective bubble around Danny, than, like, everything in our home and our family. And I'm not talking about our business. I don't care about that. It's more of, like, our home and our family is going to collapse. And what's crazy about your rock bottom and why I'm going to Nashville. Sorry, not Nashville. Why I'm going to Tennessee is like, my epiphany right now is that, like, Danny didn't lead herself to a rock bottom. Like, I had a partner.

[Dani Austin]

Well, how do we transition from that note? Really?

[Jordan Austin]

There was one other thing I was going to say. I don't remember.

[Dani Austin]

Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

I don't know, but you're not going to talk to me A week. I'm not being codependent for a week. Peace out, queen. And we're going to come back and you're going to miss me.

[Dani Austin]

Are you going to miss me?

[Jordan Austin]

Yes.

[Dani Austin]

Can you write letters?

[Jordan Austin]

My dearest Danny, my dear Stan, I've been gone for a 24 hour fortnight. I miss you so.

[Dani Austin]

It's February 15, 9, 14.

[Jordan Austin]

It's cold here, yet my soul is warm.

[Dani Austin]

Please write me romantic letters.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm going over Valentine's Day, so.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, he is. It's okay.

[Jordan Austin]

You wanted me to. We agreed on. We agreed upon these dates, everyone.

[Dani Austin]

We did. It's okay.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm getting slammed on this podcast. People are gonna hate me. It's fine. So hate me. Don't hate her. I'll protect my queen. I'm a codependent queen King.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, so we've been talking for about an hour. Should we move on to something a little bit more lighthearted? Just for a second? I think we should move on to things that make you go. You know, there's. We got some crazy pop culture things going on in today's days. The Chiefs are in the super bowl again. Are we going to be watching the Super Bowl? What's your plans for the Super Bowl?

[Jordan Austin]

I don't know. Probably the same as yours. D. What are our plans for the Super Bowl?

[Dani Austin]

So our friends are having people over, which will be fun, and couples are going. You know, we're going to have to bring a snack. I'm going to watch some of Macy Blackwell's, you know, Instagram and Get, like, a good, good super bowl snack idea.

[Jordan Austin]

We should have her on the podcast. She lives in a suburb. I would love to know. I bet the moms are mean to her. I'm. Listen, this is. I'm on your side. Macy. I bet she deals with some wrath.

[Dani Austin]

Macy's so sweet. She's, like, the sweetest.

[Jordan Austin]

I've never met her, but she seems sweet. She just likes to make her little sandwiches.

[Dani Austin]

Are you kidding me? Like, not little. They're, like, insanely.

[Jordan Austin]

She likes to make her crafts.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, they're. She's very talented.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Okay. So, you know, have you heard that it's Travis Kelsey's maybe, like, his. His last year. He might be retiring. How old is he? He's not that old.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, well, he's. Is he.

[Dani Austin]

I think he's like, 35. I could be wrong. Yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

His body might be falling. You know, he might be scared of. Is the.

[Dani Austin]

Oh, cte.

[Jordan Austin]

Cte.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah. Or maybe he's gonna get engaged to Taylor.

[Jordan Austin]

I bet, you know, he's probably gonna need to call us because he's gonna quit football and he's going to go through an identity crisis, and he's going to need to join the Instagram husband support group. And I think I'm the leader. I don't. I don't know, but I feel like the informal Godfather and so he can call me. Call me Trav.

[Dani Austin]

Do you know who's performing for this role?

[Jordan Austin]

No.

[Dani Austin]

Kendrick Lamar.

[Jordan Austin]

Really?

[Dani Austin]

Kayla? Mar. He's having, like, a year.

[Jordan Austin]

He's having a big year. He took down Drake.

[Dani Austin]

Right. A minor. Some people think that Taylor Swift might come out to Bad Blood with Kendrick Lamar.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, that be pretty dope.

[Dani Austin]

I mean, that would be.

[Jordan Austin]

But. But you know what? She's probably thinking because she's just such.

[Dani Austin]

A kind person, she doesn't want to spill the spotlight.

[Jordan Austin]

She's like.

[Dani Austin]

But I feel like that this is, like his third being in the super bowl through third. You know, if this was like, his first or even his second. This is third. And, like, you know, Travis is, like, begging Taylor Swift to do it. You know that. He's like, I want my queen up there. Like, he's like. He's so confident. He doesn't care. He's not like that. Like, he's not like that. Joe Alwyn, sensitive type. That's like, this is my movie. It's sad. Sad of my movie.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, Joe Alwyn's movie is, like four hours long.

[Dani Austin]

Why isn't Joe on Joe Alwyn in any good movies?

[Jordan Austin]

He's. He's a hipster. Let's just say it.

[Dani Austin]

I feel like he probably doesn't take, like, the. The popular mainstream roles. He's.

[Jordan Austin]

He's after. He's after an art film Oscar is what he's after.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah.

[Jordan Austin]

And I, you know, I was, like, gonna give him a chance. I think I've defended him a couple times on this podcast, and I was like, you know what, Joe? I've defended you. I'll go check out your movie. And I was like, four hours. I was like, I haven't been out of the house for four hours in years. Like, what? How am I going to watch this movie? And it honestly looks boring AF too, if I'm being honest.

[Dani Austin]

Like, rude, babe.

[Jordan Austin]

It just does.

[Dani Austin]

So what do you think? Do you think that Travis will propose to Taylor in 2025? I know you just released. He just licked his finger and put it out like he's testing the wind. I don't think he will this year. So, man, I mean. Okay, the one thing that I think would be interesting, moving on to topic number two, is if Taylor brings Blake Lively to the super bowl. Because she brought Blake Lively last year to the super bowl because, you know, they're like, besties.

[Jordan Austin]

Khaleesi.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, Khaleesi. But, man, Blake Lively is just getting, like, destroyed. Destroyed in this Justin Baldoni lawsuit. And whether you like Candace Owens or not, she's covering it, like, really to a T. Like, I don't typically follow her, but I followed her just to follow all of the details of this Justin Baldoni case. And she has, like, timelines, maps, like, everything. Like, it's insane. She's going all out. But, yeah, it's. And then, you know, Ryan Reynolds is being brought into it, and he's kind.

[Jordan Austin]

Of like, could she forgive him for that?

[Dani Austin]

I think that they're both complicit in this because Blake, a lot of, like, was what resurfaced online actually had nothing to do with, like, any PR firm or anyone. Like, it was just that old reporter that released that old interview from so long. Like, people are just releasing old content of Blake and kind of just all generally decided that they didn't like her anymore. And then. Then I think Ryan was the one that encouraged this whole lawsuit, which he thought was going to put Blake probably in this, like, really great feminist standpoint and, like, kind of along with, like, the Me Too movement. And then it just didn't end up, like, like, hitting that narrative. And so now it's just, like, a disaster. And what's really hard is all of the people that know Justin Baldoni personally, that know him really well, that are, like, speaking up on his behalf that are extremely believable. They're like his good friends. Like, he has really good friends and, like, really good community that are like, no, Justin Baldwin is, like, an amazing guy. I mean, you know, two things can be true. I think he probably did some weird stuff on set. Do I think he should have been sued for it? I don't know. Like, some of the stuff, like, I. I don't know. It's hard to say. It doesn't seem like he did anything, like, actually, like, illegal or. It just probably was, like, unprofessional.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

You know, but, like, it probably would have been best for Blake and Ryan to just, like, move on and not victimize themselves because, like, there's also this power imbalance with this lawsuit. It's like, you're. You guys are mega a list celebrities, and Baldoni is kind of, like, kind of a nobody. So there's, like, you know, taking the high road and just saying, hey, we're not going to work with him again. You know, he's a weirdo. Like, moving on probably would have been the best thing to do.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Because now people just want to defend the. The small guy.

[Jordan Austin]

I know. It's a mess. It's a true mess.

[Dani Austin]

It's a mess. It's the best out there.

[Jordan Austin]

Can I just end on one thing I learned this week? Oh, this is my new section. I think things Jordan read on the Internet.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, wait, we need to talk about. I want to talk about this really fast.

[Jordan Austin]

Okay. Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Matt and Rachel's breakup. I have been getting so many texts and DMS about Matt and Rachel's breakup. And the reason is, is because we spent the entire day with them. Actually a day and a half with them. They were on our podcast. I mean, we even did a freaking Instagram where we set up, like, a fake.

[Jordan Austin]

I actually forgot about that.

[Dani Austin]

Where she. Where it looked like he was going to propose to her.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm glad that we spent the day prior to that.

[Dani Austin]

I asked him point blank, are you going to marry her? And I'll talk about that in a second. But yeah, so I was just like, non stop and getting texts about this. So Rachel went on call her daddy. I have not listened to it. I'm gonna be honest. Yeah, I can't listen to it because they're, like, friends.

[Jordan Austin]

They're fam.

[Dani Austin]

Genuinely. I love both of them individually so much, and I just want, like, I want to hear it from Rachel, personally, when I talk to her, and maybe I'll listen to episode, maybe I won't. But we reached out to Matt and Rachel both to come back onto D influence and to. To talk, but, you know, who knows if they will? They're pro. They're going through a lot. And obviously she was just on Call Her Daddy, which is a bit bigger podcast, so it makes sense.

[Jordan Austin]

We're getting there.

[Dani Austin]

Two episodes back, but the couple was in Tokyo when they were butting heads. The fight ended up sparking an even bigger fight, Rachel said, stating it just opened a can of worms, which ultimately led to Matt deciding to end things. Rachel then got on a plane back home where she didn't have WI fi. Right before she took off, her phone started blowing up, and she saw that Matt publicly announced their breakup on Instagram. She said it seemed like something about marriage really scared him, but didn't want to speak for him. I will just say this one thing. When we spent the day with Matt and Rachel almost said Matt Navy. Oh. When we said the day with Matt and Rachel, I like. I said, like, genuinely, like, they are both amazing people. You know, I'm sure their relationship wasn't perfect. No relationship is. But when I talked when I was around Matt, the one thing I will say is I just felt like he was. He kind of reminded me of my brother, like, five years ago. Like, he. He's amazing. He has, like, a good heart. He wants marriage. It just didn't seem like he was, like, ready for that. Like, he wasn't, like, ready for that. He had. Has so many things he wants to do and so much he wants to accomplish. And it kind of felt like Rachel was more. It was just in a different place in her life that was like, the one. I wouldn't say I got, like, a red flag about it. That was just like the one, you know, assessment I kind of made is like, these two people are amazing. It just seems like the timelines are not adding up and doesn't seem like this. This is making sense. And so to be honest, when I heard they broke up, I was not shocked at all. Like, it did not. I was like, that makes a lot of sense because, like, I think that they were probably extremely compatible when you just look at them individually, but when you look at kind of like what they're wanting for the next five to 10 years of their life, it didn't seem like that part was aligned. And I think that they even said that they lived in different cities. Like, she lives in Atlanta, right? And then he like, lives in New York or Miami. He lives in Miami, but He was traveling 24 7, and she was in Atlanta. And I thought, that's so weird. Like, you know, like, this is the time. Like, if you're, like, madly in love with someone, I would want to be with them 24 7, you know? And so I just remember thinking, like, when I heard that they broke up, I was like, that just doesn't surprise me at all. It just seems like he wasn't ready.

[Jordan Austin]

Can we get mad on the pod?

[Dani Austin]

You can get mad, too. I just wasn't mad. But, yeah, you can get mad.

[Jordan Austin]

No, no. Can we get Matt on the pod?

[Dani Austin]

Oh, they said mad. I was like, if you want to get angry about it, you can.

[Jordan Austin]

No, I'm not. I'm not angry. I think that there's probably more to this story, and I think that Matt. See, I just probably.

[Dani Austin]

I just don't think there's. That people are searching, and I think that they want. They're, like, trying to destroy Matt. They are. Matt is, like, a good person, and so is Rachel. And I'm not saying he handled the breakup perfectly, but, y'all, how do you handle a breakup?

[Jordan Austin]

Well, can I.

[Dani Austin]

Is there a rulebook for, like, this is exactly what you should post when you post it. And, like, anything he would have done because he's a. He's a dude in this situation because he was the one that broke up with her. He's gonna get crapped on no matter what.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, let me just, like, fan fiction for a second. So I. You're Rachel, I'm Matt. I break up with you. We. We both mutually disguise.

[Dani Austin]

Ultimately, the worst. That's like, no matter what, you're gonna be the worst because you broke up.

[Jordan Austin]

I know, but if she would have.

[Dani Austin]

Broken up with him, she would have been the bad guy, right?

[Jordan Austin]

No, I think it's always the guy. To be honest. I think always the guy's always gonna be the villain.

[Dani Austin]

No, I think that. No, because if she would have broken.

[Jordan Austin]

Up with him, it would have been like, Rachel, self love. Do you.

[Dani Austin]

Girl, you're so wrong. You're so wrong. Like, because. No, because they both got hate in their own ways from these episodes, like, their own perspectives. And so it would have been like, that's such a good guy. Like, he loved her so much, and, like, she wasn't like, it. She would have gotten hate. It's. Whoever breaks up with that person. Then it's like, one person is the persecutor, one's a victim.

[Jordan Austin]

I just feel like it typically, maybe, maybe sometimes the aggressors usually assume to be the male. But anyway, if I'm Matt, you're Rachel, we break up amicably. Ish. In Tokyo, Rachel goes and get on, gets on a plane. What if I'm Matt and I'm texting Rachel and I'm like, hey, like we probably should talk about how like we're going to address the Internet and then you're Rachel and you just go dark on me and like Matt is like probably driving himself nuts and he's like, oh my gosh. Like I know we made the right decision for our private life, but like, are you about to destroy me? So then he posts that just to kind of like, because she's not responding. Didn't have WI fi. Not buying it anyway. Like she doesn't have wi fi, so she's not responding.

[Dani Austin]

You're in a plane like thousands feet in the air. You're not buying, like she didn't have WI fi.

[Jordan Austin]

What I'm saying, what I'm saying though is like what if he posted that? Which it wasn't like a bad post. It was like, please pray for us. Right?

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, okay, but sorry, that's one other thing that probably rubbed people the wrong way.

[Jordan Austin]

Well, yeah, so she's like, I didn't have WI Fi, but what if in her non responsiveness after a major life decision, he was like, oh my gosh. Like he made, maybe he made a wrong move, but he was like scared that she was like scheming against him or something.

[Dani Austin]

That's just not her personality and I think he knows that.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, but she wouldn't call her daddy.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, but she was like defending him, saying that he was actually a great guy. If I get asked to go and call her daddy, I'm going.

[Jordan Austin]

Me too. Yeah, no, I just think we should have Matt on because I, I, I bet what we discover is that they're both pretty great people and, and Matt's probably just we'd be a great podcast for Matt's side.

[Dani Austin]

Rip. We love them, we want the best for them individually or if they end up together again, but I don't think they will.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah. Wait, so we could have them both on? I was like really trying.

[Dani Austin]

I was like, like, are we thinking matchmaker? No, no, no, no. The old Danny's dead.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

Hello.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm just a mom that posts a couple times in feed every week. It's just lighter on stories. Like I'm just overall well balanced. Instant.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, let's move on to segment three. Things Jordan reads on the Internet.

[Jordan Austin]

It's quick, it's short, it's sweet, but it's hopeful. Do you want a story of hope? It's about Gen Z.

[Dani Austin]

Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

I found this article and as a millennial, it really gave me some hope about Gen Z.

[Dani Austin]

Okay.

[Jordan Austin]

Because here I am thinking, no offense to our producer in the room, uh, here I am thinking that Gen Z is all about TikTok and getting angry and fighting the patriarchy. All things I love and am supportive of with my whole entire heart. Um, but I thought that was all it was about. I was like, guys, we're going to have to grow up eventually and like, have families. And I was so shocked by this data from the survey. Do you want to learn about the different three buckets of Gen Z that I learned about?

[Dani Austin]

Desperately.

[Jordan Austin]

There's three buckets of Gen Z Personas. The Neo Traditionalist, the Fluid Pragmatist, and the Internet Age Explorers.

[Dani Austin]

Wow.

[Jordan Austin]

I'm going to read first.

[Dani Austin]

They sound like dinosaurs.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah, they do. You're right. It's very Jurassic Park. The Neo traditionalists making up 29. So this is the lowest group, but still 29. Danny, that's a lot.

[Dani Austin]

30%.

[Jordan Austin]

It's less meaningful than our tone and verbal communication, but more meaningful than the words we use.

[Dani Austin]

Yes, that's true.

[Jordan Austin]

29% they value stability, heritage and traditional lifestyle choices such as home ownership, suburban living and long term relationships. They prioritize financial stability and family. They're less focused on pursuing creative passions. And the report notes that 74% of of them dream of a stable employment employment and 93% hope for stable relationships. That's not the Gen Z I thought of, is it for you?

[Dani Austin]

Why do you think that some of Gen Z is like that?

[Jordan Austin]

I think that they went through what we call the pandemic of 2020 and they're like, whoa, that was really crazy. And all I want is stability in my life. That's my theory. The second, the Fluid Pragmatists they takes, they take a practical and moderate approach to life. They're realistic, prioritize financial independence, value mental health over physical health, and are open to renting and electric vehicles. They seek work, life, balance, and they are. They also want higher income. That's a little bit more like the Gen Z that I would think, but not bad. The way it spins it, I'm good with. And then the last is the Internet age explorers. 38% they have a desire for exploration, living in the city and trying new things. They're less inclined towards civic engagement and Prioritize a work life balance, valuing remote work. They have an impulse or they have an impulse to live life and have fun. Hold on, let me see if there's.

[Dani Austin]

Any notes that gives very. That sounds like Gen Z to me.

[Jordan Austin]

What I, what I thought, and a lot of people thought from this study was that we probably shouldn't be so cheugy and just be writing this generation off. Like, they're just a bunch of tick tockers. They work hard, they're. They're after the American dream just like any other one of us.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, of course. I mean, that's the same thing. People used to say the same thing about millennials.

[Jordan Austin]

Yeah.

[Dani Austin]

When I started my YouTube channel, it was like the same thing.

[Jordan Austin]

Like, yeah, it's like, oh, she just wants to post videos.

[Dani Austin]

Yeah, yeah. And it's like. But now people, like, respect millennials, kind of. Do they? I don't know, you know.

[Jordan Austin]

Well, millennials are now. We're in power and so we're now judging. Like we have the power. Yeah, that's what now we are. The millennials judging or the, the gin.

[Dani Austin]

Generation judging the Gen Z and genetics.

[Jordan Austin]

So I think the point of the study is like, don't judge a book by its cover and, you know, don't.

[Dani Austin]

Judge a generation by its letter.

[Jordan Austin]

Letter. Be kind to your Gen Z, your young ones, or, or be kind to your neighbor, because they very well could be Gen Z and they could be.

[Dani Austin]

Hiring you one day.

[Jordan Austin]

True.

[Dani Austin]

Okay, guys, well, that's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening. Make sure you check us out on Instagram and TikTok and we'll talk to you later. Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.