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Foreign.
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The following podcast is a Dear media production. Hello and welcome back to your favorite podcast, Influenced. We had a baby.
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He's here. If you're watching on video.
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B
Yeah, if you're watching on video.
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Smith laying right there.
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Baby Smith is in my arms. It's the best when they're this age. So he's like, what, five weeks old? Almost crazy.
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It's only been five weeks. It feels like a lifetime.
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B
Is it five weeks or six weeks?
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A
Who knows? She's counting.
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B
I know. Well, I figured you would be counting because six weeks is the mark.
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A
Oh, yes, yes, yes. I. I just.
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B
You know what?
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A
Don't think about it.
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B
You need to tell people what you're on.
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A
What?
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B
You tell them the shots that you've
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been taking my Peptides.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Oh, I'm on the Wolverine stack. Everyone knows about it.
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B
You need to tell them because you're. I can tell that you're tired. And you tell them why. Tell them what you did. Oh, well, so we're both just tired. But that's like, just like, you know, having a baby, it's more just like it.
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A
I'm not really that, like, fatigue tired. I feel like mentally I'm tired.
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B
Yeah.
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You know, like, I. How I feel is like there's like 700 things in my brain.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And I'm like, trying to figure out, like, what to prioritize. And with four kids, there's just no way to sprint at the same speed as, like, we were before.
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B
Yeah. So true.
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A
And so it's like, I feel like we're both kind of like, what's priority now, like, what's not. We've had great conversations around this.
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B
I feel like this baby has changed me.
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A
Like, oh, yeah, even your. Your chiropractor in their little Eastern. But, like, not. Not Middle Eastern. Like, they're like Eastern philosophy.
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B
Yeah. Yeah.
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A
Like, she was like, you didn't just give birth to a baby, you gave birth to yourself. And I was like, she really did.
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B
Yeah. This. This baby has changed me in. And I think it's probably like half postpartum speaking, but, like, I am so scared about missing a moment with every single one of my children. Like, which I've always been like that, but I've also always been like, well, I want to record the moment. I want to take a picture, I want to get a video, like, sell us her tooth, like, document it. You know, she's learning how to ride a bike. Take a video. And like, I still do here and there, but I am so scared of missing the moment that Like, I will put my phone away for like 48 hours and I can't even find it because I'm like, I just want to soak up every single moment with every single child. I think it's also because this is probably my last baby. And so my biggest fear is like getting like 5 years, 10 years, 15 years down the road and being like, oh my gosh, I was living on my phone, working, whatever, and not actually, like enjoying and being present. It's one of my biggest, like, fears right now. And so, so I feel like this baby has changed me because. I don't know, I also think I'm like, probably I have a little postpartum anxiety. Like, sorry, a little, A lot. Like, I have like a constant foam of anxiety over me. It's almost like when you like, look at a latte, like the foam on top, it's just a little bit, but it's there, you know? And I've never had postpartum anxiety. I've always had postpartum depression. And I don't feel depressed.
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A
What's. It's tough. What's. Which one's better? I would, I would go with the anxiety.
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B
I. I live with the anxiety for sure.
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A
Yeah, me too.
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B
Because the anxiety is like, at least I still have a purpose. At least I still want to be alive. You know, depression is like, so, so it's like, yeah, it's dark. It's a dark one. And it's so hard to like, know that you have it when you're in it. But anxiety, it's so present. I'm like, yeah, I have anxiety. Like, I can't take a deep breath.
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A
The only downside with the postpartum anxiety versus the depression is like, when you're depressed, like, we all know it. Like, you're just, you're in your room, you're sad. The anxiety, silent killer. Cuz it's like, I don't. I. I'm thinking we're great. I'm thinking everything's going fine. And then we, I look over and you're crying and I'm like, what happened? So it's like, it's harder to predict.
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B
But I've been, I've been telling you, most of the time, I'm like, he'll be like, yeah, let's go to the mall. I'm like, I have anxiety, but I am going to talk to my psychiatrist about it on Thursday.
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A
So part of me, I have this theory, you know, that you're actually on too many things.
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B
Well, I'm not on. I'VE only take two things.
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A
I know. Like the.
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B
So I've always taken Lexapro since I went through postpartum depression.
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A
Right. Which, like, who isn't?
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B
You know, like, you can get those from, like an M M candy machine these days. Okay. So, but what happens is when apparently, like, that can stop working and I take, like a very normal, average dose of that. And. But when I became. When I had my pre. What do you call it? Not prenatal depression, but, like, there's another word for it. And it basically, I got depressed in my first trimester and, like, all of those symptoms of, like, depression started showing up again. And so my medication, she was like, oh, this probably isn't working anymore. Let's add Wellbutrin to your stack, which is one of them is like an antidepressant and one is anti anxiety.
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The Wellbutrin's anti anxiety.
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I don't know.
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I'm pretty sure.
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I don't know.
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Anyway, whatever. When she first got on the Wellbutrin, it was like an upper for you. Because you remember, you, like, that first week, you were like, I'm back. And you were like, let's go to Mexico City. Let's go do this. And I was like, you're not yourself. And you were like, I feel great. But then it kind of balanced.
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B
Yeah, it. For the first week, it was kind of strong, and then it just kind of. You become, like, normal again. But anyway, so. But she said, she did say, like, once you have the baby and all of your hormones and all of that, like, you. Maybe I am taking too much now. Maybe I need to stop taking the Wellbutrin.
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A
Yeah. I mean, I'm not a doctor. Consult your own physician. But I would say that. Remember when Alex Clark came on our podcast? She is a very big proponent of. Of, like, SSRIs. Like, screwing up females, in particular females because of, like, just the hormones that females have over males and like, long term use of SSRIs like, having some lagging effect or diminishing return effect. And I'm just curious, like, but here's the question is, will your doctor tell you that? I mean, surely she's not making that much off of your, like.
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B
No, my doctor is, like, cool too.
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A
She, like, little bit more.
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B
She's a reproductive psychiatrist. She, like, specifically deals with, like, postpartum women. I was like, good. I've been postpartum for four years.
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A
Yeah, no, for sure.
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B
So I'm like her perfect client.
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A
Nothing. I would say this, nothing that you're Experiencing is out of the ordinary from the past five years of our life. Like postpartum.
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B
Yeah.
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So there's nothing, like extremely out of the ordinary. In fact, I would venture to say this is probably the best postpartum.
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No, my last one was the best. Summit.
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A
You think?
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B
I had nothing. I was like, perfect.
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A
Oh, yeah, you're right.
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B
That's why I did unmedicated again, remember?
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A
That's right. That's right.
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B
So I don't know. I mean, it may. It could be worse.
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A
It could be worse.
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B
It's a great way to look at life.
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It always can be worse. We.
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B
So true.
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We have realized that it can always be worse.
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B
It can always be worse. We. Well, yeah. So I had this baby, and he's pretty freaking cute, and I love him a lot. And it's so weird. Like, when he first came out, he looked exactly like Summit. And now he looks so much like Stratton to me. He came out with the blonde hair. Once again, not as blonde as Summit. Summit is like, a white blonde. This kid is like. He's still blonde. Blonder than our other babies. But he's such a good baby. He's so sweet. He. He's so cute. He's the cutest baby in the entire world.
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Like, truly, she loves him.
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I love him.
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I love him.
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I love him to death. I mean, seriously, the only thing that's, like, kind of been weird, too, is like, I can't remember the other babies at this age.
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No, she really can't.
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I was like. I. Like. I keep on, like, trying to bring up stories or she's like, did I
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love this other baby? What was.
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Was there anyway, Jordan? I don't think I loved the other babies as much as this baby. I like. And he's like, danny, you did? And I was like, no, I. I think when they cried, I didn't care. I told her.
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I was like, you're fine. You're a good mom.
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B
No. And you were like, no. Dan, you've always been really sensitive to them crying. But, like, I don't. Because, like, when this baby cries, I'm like, my stomach, like, drops out of my. Like, I'm just, like, so distraught. It, like, makes me so upset when he's crying. And I was like, I don't think I cared about the other baby's crying.
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A
I just. But it's. For me, it goes beyond, like, just the baby stages of our babies. Sometimes I, like, I don't feel like I remember the past, like, five years. Do you ever feel like that?
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B
I cannot Remember Stratton as a child, like, as a baby just showed up. I, like, I. It. It is gone. Like, when Stratton from, like, three months to probably two years old. I. Can you remember it?
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A
Little bit.
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B
Little bit. But I don't.
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A
I can't remember Stella as a baby.
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B
I can remember Stella's baby.
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I can't remember it. And then, like, honestly, with us having our fourth, like, sometimes we look at Summit, we're like, who are you?
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I'm like, why'd you get here? And he's, like, saying words, and I'm like, who taught you that one?
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It was amazing, because I feel like we've just been such a constant state. Like, you have your first, and then you're trying to survive 202 the first time, and then you have a third, and. And then you're like, okay, you two gotta, like, fend for yourselves. And then you have a fourth right after the third, and you're like, the
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B
third never got to grow up. Yeah, it's like, the third was never a baby.
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A
He's, like, raised on the streets.
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B
No, literally, that's. That baby has taught himself everything.
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A
He's good, too.
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B
No, he's like, great. Honestly. It's how we should be raising babies.
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A
Yeah. And then you think of, like, these, like, Ballerina Farm characters that have nine. Nine kids have nine.
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B
I. I can't even. Like, my brain can't compute. Like, it can't go there.
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A
My brain can't compute. Thinking of, like, going through the pregnancies nine times. But maybe she has, like, easier pregnancies than you.
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B
Yeah, probably.
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She probably does, but.
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B
Or maybe. What if she, like, doesn't, though?
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A
Then her. Her husband's the same. Oh, dude. He's the same.
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B
I mean, like, what if their pregnancies are hard?
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A
I don't think so.
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B
But you have to remember, a lot of these women. Ballerina Farm, they started years ago, right? Like, will you look up how old? Ballerina Farm. What's her name?
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A
Something?
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B
Hannah. How old was Hannah when she had her first baby? 26 with her first baby. So if you think about it, yeah,
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A
she's just been knocking them out.
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B
She'd been knocking him out, but, like. But more spread out, like.
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A
Yeah, let's see.
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B
How old does she know?
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A
But honestly, what I was saying is that if she doesn't have hard pregnancies, like, if you didn't have hard pregnancies, I'd be like, what's one more. Let's face it.
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B
She's 35 now. She started when she was 22. So she's been having babies for 13 years. Did I do that math right?
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A
I don't know.
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B
But my brain, it was good, right? Okay. 13 years. She's been having babies. I've been having babies for four years.
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A
I couldn't live in 13 years of this.
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B
Thirteen years.
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A
Could you imagine?
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B
I know, But I do think, how would we survive? Bam. Gonna move to a farm.
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A
No, truly, that's what got her to the farm. You're close.
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B
I. Honestly, you're close.
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A
I mean, last night, Danny said, I think I need to get a horse. And I was like, wow. The evolution is almost complete.
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B
She's.
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A
She's entering stage four.
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B
Stage four of your master plan.
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A
It's not.
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B
It's like you've been microdosing me with, like, these little, like.
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A
Yeah, no, it's. It's really not my master plan. I. I feel like it is God's plan that I have just accepted sooner than you. I'm going to be honest.
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B
Like, I'm like, we're going to get to Nashville. I'm going be like, we're like, we're going to live on an acre. And I'm like, I hate this place. It's so crowded.
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A
I really genuinely believe so. I genuinely believe so.
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B
It's possible.
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A
I think once you get that horse and you stare into that horse's eyes, you're going to say, listen, I don't want any more babies, but I want 16 horses.
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B
What do they call a Aquan therapy?
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A
Equine therapy.
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B
Equine therapy?
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah.
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A
No, maybe that's what you. What if you're. What if you go onto your call on Thursday with your. What are you calling? Psychiatrist? And she's like, listen, I recommend horses for you.
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B
She's like, then I'll be like, God, all right, I'm in. I'm your. I'm your next horse girl. Use me for thy will.
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A
When I went to. On site, they do equine therapy, which I don't get. Like, what's so special about horses?
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B
That's what we're about to find out.
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A
Like, why wouldn't you just do, like, golden retriever?
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B
Because apparently the horses, like, can sense you. Like, they know you.
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A
No way.
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B
Yeah, they, like, can sense when you're a certain way. I don't know if that's true or not.
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A
No, that makes sense, because I can sense you.
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B
So you're not a horse.
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A
No, but, like, that's. What I'm saying is, like. Right. And you don't want me to sense You. But a horse, you're like, okay. It's okay if you sense my.
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B
Well, and, like, I do feel like some dogs are smart enough to sense you.
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A
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
But, like, a horse, like, think about such a big animal sensing you.
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A
Yeah.
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B
It's a lot of animal.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Like, it's like this whole big beast is like, I know that you're sad, and you're like, wow, the biggest.
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A
I. I really do feel like we're about to enter into a curveball stage of our lives where it's like we're at that chapter of our lives where we thought it was going to go this one way, and it's about to just take a total left turn. And if the left turn is, you end up getting a horse, and then you write some crazy memoir about this horse that healed you. Oh, yeah, that'd be the best.
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B
Totally.
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A
That would be so good.
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B
So good. And then I have a horse farm.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And then I just raise horses.
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A
Yeah.
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B
I'm not a mother to many children. I'm a mother to many horses.
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A
No, truly.
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B
I would like to have a pony, too.
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A
Yeah. Like a little one.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Yeah. No, no, that's great. I mean, it's possible, really, at this point, we are so broken down.
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B
So broken.
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A
We're like. Like, any.
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B
Any.
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A
Any dream or any, like, idea that we had for our lives with four children is just gone. It's like, poof. It's like God has deconstructed us to a level where it's like, any plan that we have. He's like, huh? He's like, I'm gonna put you in a state of just pure survival, and then I shall rebuild this. Allegedly. Allegedly. He's a good God, and he rebuilds better than what we thought we wanted. I want to believe he's got great plans, but right now, it feels like survival of the fittest.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You know, we're blessed, though.
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B
So blessed.
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A
Our kids are beautiful babies.
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B
Beautiful, beautiful, sweet, smart babies.
- [15:28]
A
They just suck the living life out of us.
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B
I mean, he's talking about sucking the living life out of you, this guy.
- [15:32]
A
Truly.
- [15:33]
B
I mean, my. My nipples are not okay. Not that we need to talk about that.
- [15:38]
A
We can, though, okay?
- [15:41]
B
We. We can. It is our podcast. We could talk about whatever you want. I am still breastfeeding. I have made it five weeks. I was like, for this day, I was like, I'm going to do it a year. Like, that's probably not going to happen. So I was really, really hoping to breastfeed this baby, actually, solely just, like, latch him and not even do any of the pumping. That was hard. That's hard. So I am kind of, like, mixing with pumping, with latching and. But he's been. He's been great. I think he likes the boob better than a bottle.
- [16:15]
A
He 100% likes the Boo better.
- [16:17]
B
Yeah.
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A
Because when I, like, hold him like you hold him when you're breastfeeding, and I put the bottle, like, right here, he's like, great. He, like, thinks he's breastfeeding.
- [16:26]
B
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- [17:51]
A
At the beginning of every year, I feel like everyone starts thinking about their finances a little bit more. Paying off debt, saving more, planning for big life stuff like kids, education, retirement. All the things you know you should be thinking about but sometimes avoid because it feels overwhelming. For me, I realized I didn't just want to track where money already went. I wanted something that actually helped us plan where it should go. That's what I like about Monarch. Monarch is the all in one personal finance tool designed to make your life easier. It brings your entire financial life, budgeting accounts and investments, net worth and future planning together in one dashboard on your phone or laptop. What I personally like is seeing everything in one place. Instead of guessing if we're making a progress or towards goals, we can actually see it. It helps us be proactive instead of reactive. I also think it's helpful as a couple because money can be stressful to talk about, and having clear numbers makes those conversations way easier and way less emotional. If you're someone who wants clarity and a plan instead of just hoping things work out financially, this is a really helpful tool. Set yourself up for financial success in 2026 with Monarch, the all in one tool that makes proactive money management simple all year long. Use code danny@monarch.com for half off your first year. That that's 50% off your first year@monarch.com with code Danny. M O N A S I'll be honest. Before Danny introduced Branch Basics into our house, I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about what was actually in our cleaning products. If it cleaned, I figured it worked. But once you start learning how many conventional cleaners have harsh chemicals, especially when you have kids in the house, it does make you think a little differently about what you're using every day. What I like about Branch Basics is it's plant and mineral base and it's designed to clean basically everything with one concentrate counters, bathrooms, laundry, even things like produce and makeup brushes. From a practical standpoint, I love anything that simplifies systems like that, and I was honestly skeptical at first if something more natural would actually work as well. But it does. It cleans really well and gives peace of mind knowing we're reducing unnecessary chemical exposure at home. I also like that it's a refill system because it cuts down on waste and you're not constantly buying new bottles. If you're trying to make small changes that actually make a difference in your home environment, this is a pretty easy swap. Get yourself and your loved ones the best gift of all. The gift of Clean with Branch Basics. For a limited time only, our listeners get 15% off and free shipping on their premium starter pack. When you use code danny@branchbasics.com danny that's 15% off your order@branchbasics.com Danny with promo code Danny, please support our show and tell them we sent you.
- [20:34]
B
Oh I will say this Is definitely our gaseous baby. Yeah, for sure. He toots all day long and like loud. Yeah, yeah, he's a gassy baby. But. No, but breastfeeding has been going well.
- [20:49]
A
Question for you. I. I think that this happened. We were kind of like in a echo chamber cave. I think your birth went pretty viral. Oh, the reason I know that because people were like texting me about this birth and I was like, what do you mean? We filmed every birth, but this one went like really, really. It really popped off.
- [21:11]
B
I know, I know.
- [21:12]
A
Well, you know, you got the tick tock talking heads too.
- [21:14]
B
See, that's when you know you got viral. You know, I've never gone viral before, I don't think. No, no. I've been doing this like online stuff for like 13, 14 years and I've never gone viral. This was my first moment. Right. The only times I ever go viral is when I get canceled.
- [21:33]
A
Yeah, pretty much.
- [21:34]
B
And so like this was the first time I went viral for not being canceled.
- [21:37]
A
But you were like, you weren't really canceled this time. It was like kind of a lot of self righteous people, right?
- [21:42]
B
No, I wasn't, I wasn't saying I was canceled. No, it was just like. So the crazy thing about this birthday. Okay, So I guess people just handle pain differently. I personally scream when I'm in pain.
- [21:57]
A
Yeah, yeah.
- [21:57]
B
Or I say I'm like, ow, ow, this hurts. I guess some people, like internalize their pain, but that doesn't mean that one is more painful than the other. It's just everybody kind of deals with it differently.
- [22:07]
A
So were people mad at you for the way that you communicated your pain?
- [22:11]
B
I don't know. But here's the point. The funniest thing is we cut out all the bad parts.
- [22:16]
A
Yeah, we thought that was pretty tame.
- [22:17]
B
I thought the funniest part about the video that I posted is like, when we posted it, I sent it to the two girls on my team I always sent every video to and they were like, cut these three or four parts out because it's too much. So we did and then we posted it and people are like, this is too much. And I'm like, oh, you think this is too much? You should have seen what really happened. But no one will ever know. Yeah, so it went pretty viral. I think, like on TikTok, it has like over 30 million views. Like on Instagram, almost 30 million. I don't know. And I wasn't expecting that because I did. I've always shared basically everything in my life and I didn't really think this was, like, that crazy, But. But apparently it was. Apparently most women in the world just quietly give birth in a bathtub and don't say a word and just breathe, and then the baby just pops out magically.
- [23:11]
A
So were the talking heads. I'm just trying to understand. Cause I don't. I didn't really go down the rabbit hole. I didn't care. But the. The argument was that you were dissuading women from having an unmedicated birth through your pain videos, and it was irresponsible, I guess.
- [23:27]
B
I guess it was like. So then there was a trend that, like, kind of popped off after my video. And it was like, if you saw Danny's unmitigated birthday, here's me at 10cm pushing my baby out. And then it was like. Like a piece. It was like a video of a peaceful mom in a bathtub being like.
- [23:45]
A
Like, you know, were the comments like, thank you? I didn't read, like, thank you for being responsible.
- [23:51]
B
Yeah. But I think that everybody's like, yeah, it's a beautiful experience. Like, yes, it's like. And like. I mean, I guess it is, but it still hurts.
- [23:59]
A
Yeah.
- [24:00]
B
I don't know. And I'm also like, you're the only people that are going to post that are people that had peaceful births. Like, if you had a crazy birth, then you're not going to post that. That trend or that video.
- [24:13]
A
Right, Right.
- [24:14]
B
Unless you're like me. And so some people think. You know, some people also think that maybe it's tmi. Like, maybe Dani shares too much about her life. First of all, you might be right. Okay. I'm not gonna lie. Maybe you're right. But you have to understand, like, I was raised on these streets of the Internet. Like, I started doing this when I was 19. I don't know. A different way of life. And I don't really get embarrassed about sharing stuff. Like, I don't really feel like it's too much. The only thing that I ever would feel convicted about sharing it too much is if it, like, directly affects, like, people in my family or my friends, you know? But this was just about me. This is just my thing.
- [24:52]
A
The head. Just to be clear, the People headline was. I was so shocked to hear this. What did the headline say? It was about me.
- [24:59]
B
It was like, oh, but that was about naming the baby.
- [25:02]
A
They almost named the baby different because husband thinks name is weird. And I was like, whoa. First of all, what did I do? Like, I. Yes, I was the father. But come on. Like, write About Danny.
- [25:13]
B
Yeah. Well, yeah, we'll get to that in a second. But yeah. What was I saying? This is what happens all day. My brain. Babe, it's so bad.
- [25:24]
A
You were talking about the tick tockers. You were talking about. I don't really know.
- [25:32]
B
I was talking about unmedicated. Unmedicated births. Yeah. Oh, I don't really know what I was saying, but. But go. I'm telling you, the postpartum, like, brain fog is so bad. But yeah, I think that a lot of people were like, man, this is going to scare a lot of people from giving an unmedicated or doing an unmedicated birth because she. It looks too scary. And so when people were like, posting what their births looks like, I'm like, great. Like, we all can post what our births look like and like, you know, weird.
- [26:08]
A
It's a. It's a weird thing to be combative.
- [26:10]
B
It's great. Like, let's just all. We can all share and inspire people in different ways. Mine was like, this was my reality and that was your reality. And that's okay. You know, I'm so happy that we had different experiences and we can all come together and share it.
- [26:25]
A
Yeah, that's great.
- [26:26]
B
But yeah. Oh, I was talking about if I share too much online. Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
- [26:31]
A
Honestly, not anymore.
- [26:33]
B
You? No, I probably do. But, like, really?
- [26:35]
A
Like what?
- [26:38]
B
I don't know. I mean, I'm always like. Because we're experiencing new things in life, like our kids getting older or maybe moving or schools or lessons, you know, sports, whatever. Those are all new experiences in my life that, like, I've never posted about those things before. So I'm like, learning what to share, what not to share. It's always going to be evolving and changing, even when I'm a grandma one day. But I also just think it's really special, like, for some. I don't think that everybody needs to be, like, sharing everything and being totally vulnerable. Vulnerable about everything in their lives. But it's like if you. If you are, like, strong enough to share some of the crazy things and you know that, like, the outside feedback is. Isn't going to, like, hurt you, hurt your feelings or change your mind about something, then I actually think it's like, really cool when people post, like, vulnerable moments, you know?
- [27:35]
A
Yeah.
- [27:35]
B
Like, I actually think it can help a lot of people out and, like, they can look at it and be like, wow, like, I'm not crazy. Look, she experienced that too. And maybe it makes people feel like, I don't know, a Little bit better. So it's like, you know, I'm not saying everybody has to do that, but. And I'm not saying you have to do that for every single part of your life, but if there's something that you want to share that's just a little bit more real than the others, like, I don't think that it's a bad thing.
- [28:01]
A
Yeah, no, I don't either. Keep sharing, you know, Keep it going.
- [28:06]
B
I don't know. But, yeah. So I had a baby, and he was 7 pounds, 13 ounces. He really hurt when he came out. He hurt me bad.
- [28:19]
A
But you didn't tear.
- [28:20]
B
I didn't tear. Yeah. So I actually had a really good, like, physical postpartum recovery.
- [28:25]
A
Because we didn't fight.
- [28:26]
B
We didn't fight. Tell them why.
- [28:28]
A
Because I filmed everything.
- [28:30]
B
No,
- [28:32]
A
I thought it was the shot list.
- [28:34]
B
I did have a shot list.
- [28:35]
A
I was like, this is what I think. I thought I did my job.
- [28:38]
B
Yeah, we also, like, filmed so much content in the hospital that when I got home, I didn't post or film anything for three weeks.
- [28:46]
A
Wait, why else didn't we fight?
- [28:48]
B
Because you tell them. What? You learned
- [28:52]
A
to listen.
- [28:53]
B
No. You even said it this morning. I texted you a video this morning. And what did you say? Oh, yeah, he said, I don't take anything you say seriously anymore.
- [29:03]
A
Yeah, no, I really don't. I. He's like, I used to take things, like, so serious, so personally. Like, she would be like, I'm just really frustrated with you. And I used to be like.
- [29:13]
B
You used to be like, Danny, here's the 49 things I've been doing for you this week. You know? And I'd be like, it's not about the 49 good things. It's about this one thing that hurts my feelings. Then you'd be like, but you don't see all the good.
- [29:25]
A
Yeah, it would be like. Like, here's how I'd say it is. Like, you know, probably three times a day, Danny changes her mind about me.
- [29:32]
B
Like, oh, no, I don't.
- [29:34]
A
No, no. Like, what I mean by that is like. Like, oh, it's so sweet that you're doing this. And then the next minute it'll be like, can you please, like, not do this? And then it's like, okay, you make
- [29:44]
B
me sound like I'm, like, mean to you all day long.
- [29:47]
A
No, I don't think you're mean to me.
- [29:48]
B
I don't see it like that.
- [29:49]
A
No, no.
- [29:50]
B
Okay, I'll give an example. I'm like, he's Such a good dad. He, like, wakes up early, gets the kids ready for bed. I come downstairs, y'. All. He uses the bottle cleaner, like the sponge that is meant for bottles to clean off a plate of hot sauce. Okay. And then just leaves it all red like hot sauce. Okay. So I'm like. So then he walks by.
- [30:11]
A
It's not clearly labeled. That is a bottle cleaner. And it looks like it's literally a
- [30:16]
B
stick with a sponge at the end. You. And you've had four babies. You know what a bottle cleaner is. Do not gaslight me right now.
- [30:21]
A
No, I'm not. I just didn't know.
- [30:23]
B
No. Yes, you did. Babe, come on.
- [30:25]
A
No, I really did. I. Okay, here's the other thing is you always think I'm doing things to just. Just to pick a fight. Like.
- [30:33]
B
No, I don't think you were doing it to pick a fight. I just think you weren't thinking. But so then he. He walks by and I go, really? The bottle cleaner? And so I. That's the stuff that happens.
- [30:45]
A
Yeah.
- [30:45]
B
I've been doing a little spring reset lately. And not just around the house, but also with my closet. The older I seem to get, I try to focus more on quality over quantity. Just buying pieces that are versatile, really well made, and things I actually get excited to wear on a random Tuesday. That's honestly why I keep coming back to Quint. They make beautiful everyday pieces using premium materials like 100% European linen, organic cotton, and super soft denim. And a lot of their styles start around 50 $50, which honestly surprised me the first time I ordered. Their spring pieces are lightweight, breathable and effortless. The kind of outfits where you throw it on and instantly feel put together without trying too hard. I also recently looked at some of their accessories and their leather bags are made from 100% hand woven Italian leather and truly look like something you would spend way more on. And something I really respect about the brand is they work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality materials instead of brand markup. Personally, I've been eyeing their linen tops for a summer staple. The fabric feels substantial but also easy to wear. And the price genuinely makes me double check my cart every time. Refresh your spring wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.com jani for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. Go to q U-I-N-C-E.com Danny for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com Danny okay, I feel like everyone has that one candy they are obsessed with growing up. Like the one you hoped you'd get in your Halloween bucket or the one you'd trade everything else for at school. I was definitely that kid. That's why Unreal is such a fun brand to me, because they're basically taking those nostalgic chocolate favorites and reinventing them with simple ingredients in way less sugar. So you still get that really satisfying chocolate fix, but without all the artificial stuff. Some of their bestsellers are their dark chocolate coconut bars. So good, their dark chocolate peanut butter cups and their dark chocolate caramel peanut butter nugget bars. And I will say if you keep these in your pantry they tend to disappear quickly. What I also love is everything that they make is fair trade, certified, gluten free, non GMO and kosher. They don't use artificial preservatives, flavors or colors, and most of their products are even vegan. I like having these around for a little afternoon snack or honestly sometimes a little end of the day treat because they satisfy that sweet tooth without feeling over the top sugary. You can also find Unreal products anywhere cravings hit, including at Whole Foods, Target, Costco and other grocery stores. As a special offer to Our listeners, visit unrealsnacks.com Danny to get $2 off a bag of Unreal.
- [33:08]
A
Terms and conditions apply rch.com and enter code Danny to set yourself up for better financial success. One of the coolest parts about building our businesses over the years has been realizing how possible it actually is to turn an idea into something real. And for us, Shopify has been a huge part of that. Shopify is basically the platform we use to run divi. It's where you can build, grow and manage a business without needing to be some tech expert. And as someone who likes systems and efficiency, I appreciate how it simplifies things. What I like, but it's not my identity. Danny what I like most is that Shopify lets you actually own your business, your store, your customers, your data. It's yours. You're not just building on borrowed land. And from a practical standpoint, things like shop, shop, pay. That purple button at checkout make a big difference. Faster checkout means fewer abandoned carts, which as a business owner you definitely care about. They also have tools like Sidekick, which is basically an AI co founder helping with things like analytics, sales trends and optimization, which lets us spend more time focusing on growth instead of backend headaches. Whether someone wants to start a side hustle or build a full business, Shopify really removes a Lot of the friction that used to exist. Build your store, own your audience, and create something that lasts. Start now@shopify.com.
- [34:30]
B
danny, what do you feel is different about this baby? I don't know.
- [34:37]
A
Wow, Danny, great question. Let me answer that one head on. Like the baby itself.
- [34:41]
B
I don't know.
- [34:42]
A
Yeah. You don't have a plan for this question, do you?
- [34:45]
B
I didn't. I didn't.
- [34:46]
A
I can tell.
- [34:47]
B
Maybe you take my thought and then ask me a question.
- [34:50]
A
I think what you're saying is like, what is different about our lives after having four instead of three?
- [34:55]
B
Oh, maybe that's what I'm thinking. Yeah.
- [34:56]
A
Yeah, yeah. Um.
- [34:58]
B
Oh, did you hear the toots?
- [35:01]
A
Yeah, I just think that there's no, Like.
- [35:07]
B
Oh, I. I know.
- [35:09]
A
Yeah. What's different?
- [35:10]
B
Do you remember, like, how with Stella and Stratton, like, do you remember how strict of a schedule we were with, like sleeping, eating? Like we, like every. We calculated every single little thing.
- [35:21]
A
Yeah.
- [35:21]
B
Like their weight or what. We don't do that anymore.
- [35:24]
A
You can't.
- [35:25]
B
I know.
- [35:26]
A
I mean, we. We're pretty good at like the broad schedule.
- [35:29]
B
Like, oh, he looks healthy.
- [35:31]
A
Like, the broad schedule of like, you know, the kids get up at this time, they go to bed at this time, but if one of them misses a nap or is like late on a nap, we don't even know.
- [35:45]
B
Well, we.
- [35:45]
A
We're like, oh, you're tired. I'm so sorry.
- [35:47]
B
Yeah.
- [35:47]
A
Summon.
- [35:48]
B
Yeah. I'm so sorry. He's like, we forgot you were here.
- [35:50]
A
Like, the other two don't nap anymore. So can you not hang?
- [35:54]
B
Like, why don't you take a walk around the block?
- [35:56]
A
Um, no, I. I think that you. But all. Okay, here's what I think is the biggest difference. Babe, we are. There is nothing that can hit us in life that will stress us out.
- [36:10]
B
I don't like tornadoes. It's just.
- [36:12]
A
Yeah, your mother.
- [36:14]
B
Oh, no, no. A real tornado. Both tornadoes.
- [36:21]
A
No, but I would say truly, like the. The level outside of your anxiety, which is a whole separate issue. I just don't think I'm stressed about anything. Like, I could be holding a baby, taking a call, brushing Stella's teeth, and sending an email all at the same time. And I used to be. Remember how rigid I was?
- [36:40]
B
Yeah. And you get so.
- [36:41]
A
I would have been so frazzled. I'm like doing this and now I'm just like, okay, like, whatever. Like, I feel like if a 23 year old walked into our house and saw just what our day to day lives looked like, they'd be like, I will never have this.
- [36:57]
B
You know why? Because we live in Deluland now.
- [37:00]
A
I know.
- [37:00]
B
We're like, yeah, we're like on a different plane planet.
- [37:02]
A
We're on a different planet.
- [37:03]
B
And that's probably why people with more children are happier. Because we were more stressed out with one or two children.
- [37:08]
A
We really were. We really were.
- [37:10]
B
And now you just feel so out of. I think when you have one or two kids, you still feel in control. Like, you still feel like you can control the situation. You can get them into the right school, you can get them into like the right classes. When you have four, it's so out of your control that you kind of just release and you're just.
- [37:25]
A
So who's really living in delusion is the real question? Is the person who believes that they're in control and can perfectly architect their kids lives to do XYZ and perfectly plot their future and it just goes perfectly to plan. Is that delusion or is our complete surrender and being just broken down to the studs delusion?
- [37:45]
B
I guess we'll never know.
- [37:47]
A
No, we will know. Oh, well, I think. I don't know how to compare them. I guess.
- [37:50]
B
I don't know. I just.
- [37:51]
A
I think we're gonna be happier.
- [37:52]
B
Yeah.
- [37:53]
A
Without the control.
- [37:54]
B
Without the. Yeah. Cuz what I think that's. I mean, that's the whole thing is relinquishing control and just knowing it's not up to you when that's too much pressure to put on somebody.
- [38:03]
A
Yeah. No, and I mean, I feel like this is a very. Like this. Your question was like, how did the fourth, like change our lives? Pretty much.
- [38:10]
B
Yeah. Yeah. That's what I was asking.
- [38:11]
A
It's like, I feel like with the third, at least for me, I felt like with just three, I still had elements that I was in control. Like, I was like, oh, I can still have three kids and I can still be this person I want to be. And I can still do this. And I can still do this. And so. And now I'm kind of like, God, I have no idea. Yeah, like whatever you want. Because like I can't.
- [38:36]
B
Because these babies are raising themselves in the streets.
- [38:38]
A
No, I. I think that we are raising them and so everything else has to flow down for. From God's will.
- [38:46]
B
Yeah.
- [38:46]
A
You know what I'm saying? And I feel like that has become very apparent with four, at least for me, versus three.
- [38:53]
B
Yeah.
- [38:53]
A
Um, and it's kind of like I. I feel like what we're feeling in life right now is that it's completely reshaped our priorities and like our dreams and our goals. Because I think you and I are both on the same page that no matter what, the number one thing has to be like, not missing moments with them.
- [39:12]
B
Yeah.
- [39:12]
A
Because you don't get a do over. But I totally get like the, the, the quintessential like working professional individual who's like, I can just work and I can keep working and I can keep being successful because like, like I'm providing or I'm doing this and you can just get caught in this hamster wheel and you just completely miss all the best moments.
- [39:34]
B
Yeah.
- [39:35]
A
It's so easy. I, I honestly think with three, I would have done that.
- [39:39]
B
Really?
- [39:39]
A
Really. I, I. Not full tilt. Like, I don't think I would have been like an absentee dad, but I think I would have missed more of the moments with three than I would.
- [39:48]
B
Yeah, you've been very present. A very present father.
- [39:51]
A
No, I, and I wasn't like that with just one. It's kind of like, hey, Stella, your, your mom. Yeah, it's got you.
- [39:57]
B
Yeah. Even Jordan implemented the star system. She would tell about it.
- [40:01]
A
Oh, yeah. Skylight Calendar.
- [40:03]
B
Skylight Calendar. This is actually not a brand deal.
- [40:05]
A
No, it's not a brand deal. Skylight Calendar. It's a calendar system for like, it has your calendar, your meals, et cetera. And it, you can get a big frame, it's like a digital screen. And you can get one that's like the size of like a laptop screen or you can get one that's like a giant wall. And it's really good for kids with or for families with like multiple kids because their schedules get really complicated. So you can pull up the calendar and everyone can. Or if you have like a nanny or something, like, everyone can be on the same page of like what the day is going to look like for the kids and the individuals. You can put like what's for dinner on there. But the best feature that they have is when, since we have four, I was like, okay, I really need our big kids to start like stepping up. Like, we can't be like the police. Yeah, we can't be police for like, Stella, put your shoes on. Do this. So I literally implemented this calendar and they have what's called like the star system. So, so you can build out their task lists. And so like, for example, for our young kids, I was like, Stella and Stratton, if y' all make your bed, if you get yourself dressed, if you brush your teeth in the morning, if you Clean up. Each one is a star. And then I give them. I asked them, like, what they want, because they were also. Every time we'd go to the store, they would ask for something they also like.
- [41:19]
B
Yeah, they were always wanting toys. And then we never knew, like, the right time to buy the toy or the right time to say, no, save up your money. Quote unquote. Save up your money. But they're not earning any money. Or, like, we just didn't know the right amount of toys to give a child without making them spoiled or, like, not being a cool parent, you know?
- [41:36]
A
Yeah. So like now, for example, if we go to the store and they're like, oh, I want this LEGO set. I'm like, well, do you have enough stars? And they're like, I'll check for you.
- [41:45]
B
How do you. How do you convert the stars to money?
- [41:47]
A
I make it up.
- [41:48]
B
I know.
- [41:48]
A
I totally make it up.
- [41:49]
B
Okay. Yeah. It's like if something costs like, $25,
- [41:53]
A
I'm like, that's like 30 stars.
- [41:55]
B
Yeah, because like a one to one reason.
- [41:57]
A
Because if they have a perfect day where they. They do all of their chores and they obey everything, then they typically get. I think that they can get up to like, ten stars a day.
- [42:07]
B
And the greatest thing is, is, like, now instead of having to, like, punish them, like, like, Stratton this morning was like, laying on the floor. They needed to leave and get in the car. And I was like, okay, get up. And he, like, we have to leave. And he wouldn't get up. And I said, okay, I'm gonna count to three. And like, if not, I'm gonna take a. Away a star. And so he didn't. He laid there. So we took away a star. So now it's also like the discipline system.
- [42:27]
A
Yeah. And I mean, honestly, it's worse than a spanking.
- [42:30]
B
Oh, yeah.
- [42:31]
A
The getting away star, taking away. Because then he's like, I am so.
- [42:33]
B
So first of all, I do not give spanking.
- [42:35]
A
No, we. We don't. We don't spank. But, like, but so, so I implemented this system, and guys, I'm telling you, it's the craziest thing. They brush their teeth on their own now.
- [42:45]
B
Yeah.
- [42:46]
A
They get dressed in the morning by themselves now. They. When your kids get older, they drop the naps. And so we were like, oh, my gosh, like, with. With two small babies, we're basically. We were doing two under two again. I was like, I. I couldn't get them to, like, have a quiet time because, like, midday we need a break. Yeah, we need like just a break in terms of quiet. And now they like know it's quiet time. They get a star for it. They go into the rooms. They actually asked me this past weekend if they could have a of lot longer quiet time.
- [43:16]
B
How long is quiet time again?
- [43:18]
A
I usually do like 30 minutes, but like, I think I can probably push it up to an hour. And they just like Stella was coloring in her room. Stratton puts all his teddy bears to sleep and sleep sacks. That's his thing. And it's like the best behavior guiding thing I've ever done. It's the best.
- [43:37]
B
Touche, babe. Killed it.
- [43:38]
A
It's the best, everyone. And it's funny because they reached out to us. Skylight.
- [43:43]
B
I know. We need to. We need. They have a lot. We need to work with them.
- [43:46]
A
And they reached out to us a long time ago.
- [43:49]
B
I don't even know if they know that that's one of the best features.
- [43:51]
A
No, they knew. They.
- [43:53]
B
Oh, they did.
- [43:53]
A
They knew. But like, they. We weren't really great to work with them because we at the time we only had like two kids and they were like infants. Yeah, it's really good when all of our kids are going to be in sports. It's a top notch product. Highly endorse.
- [44:06]
B
Wow. Love. Love. Okay,
- [44:12]
A
we're back.
- [44:13]
B
We're back. We're back. Back in. Beautiful. And then there's me.
- [44:22]
A
Babe, stop it.
- [44:23]
B
It's okay.
- [44:25]
A
We're gonna. We're gonna go run.
- [44:27]
B
We are gonna start run vlogging together, guys.
- [44:32]
A
She's a good runner, though. She. She was born with a genetic l. More advanced VO2 max than I am.
- [44:39]
B
Yeah. And I also have that gene.
- [44:41]
A
The athlete gene.
- [44:42]
B
The athlete gene.
- [44:43]
A
I for sure don't.
- [44:45]
B
Stella has my gene, too.
- [44:48]
A
Yeah.
- [44:48]
B
It's okay. You're smart.
- [44:53]
A
What would you trade? I don't know. I don't know.
- [44:57]
B
Well, this has been really pleasant. Did you stop it?
- [45:04]
A
No, I didn't.
- [45:04]
B
Oh. I said this has been really pleasant.
- [45:08]
A
Okay. Bye.
- [45:09]
B
Bye. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.