Katherine (4:05)

Good morning, Chelsea.

Chelsea Handler (4:07)

Good morning.

Katherine (4:09)

Are you skiing right now?

Chelsea Handler (4:10)

I'm in Aspen. Yes, we're skiing. There's. Yes. The conditions are. Well, it's beautiful, so it doesn't even matter. There's no snow anywhere in this world, I don't think anymore. But, yes, I was hosting a gala. A gala. Oh, for children's oncology, like COSF in Aspen, where they were honoring Goldie Hawn, my mother. My illegitimate mother. And so I was the host, and so I brought some friends, and we

Katherine (4:36)

skied yesterday, and we're gonna ski today.

Chelsea Handler (4:39)

Then I have shows this weekend in Springfield, Massachusetts, and Portland, Maine. And Rhode is.

Katherine (4:48)

Oh, my gosh.

Guy Branham (4:48)

Sorry. Does Goldie know about your Private Benjamin fiasco?

Chelsea Handler (4:52)

Oh, yeah, she knows about it. And I did it in my. My whole monologue was about my Private Benjamin fiasco, where I pretended to be Goldie. Where I pretended I was playing Goldie Hawn's daughter in the sequel to Private Benjamin, but there was never a sequel to Private Benjamin, so. But I needed people in third grade to respect me. Do you know what I mean?

Katherine (5:11)

Absolutely. Absolutely. I spent the weekend going to San Diego to see my sister and nephew because he's looking at schools there. And I decided instead of driving the two hours, to take the train for four hours.

Chelsea Handler (5:24)

And how did that go? It was actually wonderful because it's the surfliner.

Katherine (5:28)

It goes along the coast. I got to watch the sunset. I, like, added a little whimsy to my life. I Was very excited.

Chelsea Handler (5:35)

Oh, nice whimsy. I like whimsy for a train. You know, I'm a Jew, so trains. And I have an allergic reaction to trains. It's intergenerational trauma.

Katherine (5:44)

Yes, that's totally fair.

Chelsea Handler (5:45)

Anyway, we have a very funny guest today. He's one of my old friends and you'll know him from Chelsea Lately. Among other things, he's on platonic. He's been on Hacks. He's a very, very funny writer. Comedian. I wanted to just have a nice time with an old friend. Please welcome Guy Branham. Brad looks disheveled today. He looks like something happened.

Katherine (6:08)

We're trying a new hairstyle. We're trying a new hairstyle.

Chelsea Handler (6:10)

Oh, I see, I see, I see.

Katherine (6:12)

We're in the grow out phase. Tell him you like it.

Chelsea Handler (6:17)

I told that to Cowboy too. I was like, cowboy had this hair where he had, like bangs and I was like. And I was like pushing his hair back. I'm like, you're gorgeous. Why do you have your hair in

Katherine (6:24)

your face when you're like 12? Also, I didn't realize you were 37. I love that for you.

Chelsea Handler (6:29)

Cowboy.

Guy Branham (6:29)

Cowboy.

Chelsea Handler (6:30)

Yeah. Oh, you didn't even know you that.

Katherine (6:32)

No, Possibly. But I forgot it.

Chelsea Handler (6:34)

I need a 37 year old. I can't go older now. I'm 51.

Guy Branham (6:37)

You need some life. You need some life.

Chelsea Handler (6:39)

I know. You need somebody also to keep you up to speed on things also.

Guy Branham (6:42)

And I said this to you before, but I honestly feel like if I were a woman, I would not want to date anyone who was raised in the gender reality that we were raised in. You know, I would want somebody with like a mom who was a little more politicized, you know?

Chelsea Handler (6:57)

Exactly. That's exactly how I feel. Exactly. Cause we were just talking about this. Yeah.

Katherine (7:01)

Getting the update.

Chelsea Handler (7:01)

Yeah. Getting the iPhone update. There are men that are over 50 that have not gotten the iPhone update where they don't understand gender, they don't understand racism. They haven't actually taken any steps to, like, disabuse all of the knowledge that they have been falsely fed.

Guy Branham (7:15)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (7:16)

And they don't get it. So, like, younger is better because anyone under. I was trying to say we were talking to Gaten Matarazzo from Stranger things. So he's 23. So he's with it. But like, I was trying to include Cowboy because he's under 40. But it's really under 30.

Guy Branham (7:33)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (7:33)

That people get it. Unless you're a person of color or gay or a part of the LGBTQ community. You know, like all of any of those things, but it's really.

Guy Branham (7:43)

And we all need our updates. There really are like, as I get older, realizing it's like, oh, I do have to just think about, should I be seeing this differently? And there are some things where the children. I am like, you're being idiots about this, but I will respect it. And there are other things where they're right. And it's like, okay, it's time to get with the program.

Chelsea Handler (8:00)

Yeah, like, you know the R word. Okay, I'm not gonna say it here. I don't think it's the most offensive word, but it doesn't matter. What if I think it's the most offensive word? It's offensive to people.

Guy Branham (8:09)

The hilarious thing is that, like, at shitty open mics now, the little boy comics are doing like a six minute walk to get a hilarious excuse to say the R word the way that they used to with F slurs or like, you know, the N word back in the day. And it is just sort of like it feels like progress that their bad boy activity is something like that, you know?

Chelsea Handler (8:33)

Right.

Katherine (8:34)

And they think they're being so original.

Guy Branham (8:35)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (8:36)

But with our word, like Yamaneika. Do you know Yamanika?

Guy Branham (8:39)

Yes, of course.

Chelsea Handler (8:40)

So she's opens for me a lot on the road. Right. And she's crazy. You know this. Right. Something's wrong with her. Hilarious. Yeah, hilarious and crazy. And I can physically take her down. I just want to say I do it every night. I fucking tackle her for somebody. The other night, we were in Cleveland and we were walking out of the car. She was staying at an Airbnb or a brothel, who knows? And she literally. The wind was so intense in Cleveland that she literally couldn't balance her. She could not stabilize her body. This woman is £100 more than I weigh. Okay. I had to get out of the car. Cause I saw the look of fear in her eyes. I was like, oh, my God, she doesn't think she can do it. She's blowing away the walk. It was like 50 yards. I get out of the car, I grab her, I stabilize her. I'm her ballast, and we get her to the door. And she's like, oh, my God, that wind is so scary. And then she's like, how the fuck are you so strong? And I'm like, I don't know. Do you feel your abs? Cause that's a center of gravity.

Katherine (9:33)

Right? Right.

Chelsea Handler (9:33)

I mean, it makes no sense. We were trying to figure out actually what happens when the wind blows that Hard and doesn't knock you over versus when it does.

Guy Branham (9:42)

I mean, is this an argument for chair Pilates? Should more of us be doing chair pilates?

Chelsea Handler (9:46)

Possibly. Yes, possibly. Or, or. Because like even when I ski and the wind is crazy, people aren't getting knocked over. So what, like mile per hour wind? Do you need to actually be knocked over? As a person who weighs 130 pounds?

Guy Branham (10:00)

I mean, it is very exciting when you have a wind that really does make you feel like.

Katherine (10:04)

Oh, like getting tossed in, leaning in,

Guy Branham (10:08)

tossed around by a wave. I love. But yeah, I mean, I think it's all about core. But like you're a big fan of like the core strength sports.

Chelsea Handler (10:16)

Yeah, I'm a big fan of being strong. Like I love being strong. Cause otherwise what am I gonna do? Just, you know what I mean? I can't have people like her thinking they can fucking beat me up or pick you up or whatever.

Guy Branham (10:27)

You've been going out on the road with Yamanika. You've been having Megan Gailey time. You've been having a lovely community of ladies around you.

Chelsea Handler (10:34)

Yes.

Guy Branham (10:35)

Who else have you been going out on the road with?

Chelsea Handler (10:37)

Rachel Feinstein has been opening for me a little bit. Amina Amani. Do you know Amina?

Guy Branham (10:42)

I'm not familiar.

Chelsea Handler (10:42)

She's really funny. She's out of New York. I'm gonna. I'm about to announce a new bout to date, so I'm gonna give her some too. Cause I can't put all my Yamanika and I. She slept with me twice this weekend. She double booked her hotels. She's so fucking disorganized. So I was like, you can sleep in my room. And after this weekend, I literally couldn't. I was like, I feel like I haven't slept in 36 hours. Yeah. So I can't put all my eggs in one basket with Yamanika. Do you know what I mean?

Guy Branham (11:08)

But you also love having someone to chit chat with in the hotel room.

Chelsea Handler (11:11)

I do, I do. I mean, I'm a girl, you know what I mean? I love it. I love it. So, okay. Guy Branham. We used to work together on Chelsea lately and Chelsea lately Days. We worked for I don't know how many years together.

Guy Branham (11:22)

Three years.

Chelsea Handler (11:22)

Three years. Okay. Feels like more. Yes, but okay. So then we saw each other a few weeks ago. We went out to dinner a couple weeks ago. I was on my way to do some set, I think at the Improv. Yeah. So it was really nice to catch up. And I was like, oh, I thought it would be great to have you on the podcast so we could shoot some shit like old times and fucking gossip.

Guy Branham (11:41)

Yes.

Katherine (11:41)

And I'm a big fan of yours, so I was very excited about it.

Guy Branham (11:43)

That's very sweet. That's very sweet. Like, I have such warm feelings. It really was like a family in all of the best and worst ways at Chelsea lately. But the best parts were getting to gossip and really getting to tear apart when Jamie Leen Spears got pregnant. When we all watch.

Chelsea Handler (12:03)

How's that going, by the way? Jamie Leen Spears pregnancy?

Guy Branham (12:06)

Well, she apparently was a little bit compelled in the keeping Britney Spears, like, under the conservatorship kind of thing, I think. But that. And then when we watched the Lifetime Hand Job Prostitute TV movie together, like, really one of the highlights of my life.

Chelsea Handler (12:20)

Remind my. Wait, wait, remind me. The Lifetime Hand Job movie?

Guy Branham (12:23)

Yes. It was, like, one of the girls from Party of Five. Not Lacey Chabert. The other one, Neve Campbell. No, maybe it was Lacey Chabert. The point.

Chelsea Handler (12:31)

Yeah, I think it was.

Guy Branham (12:32)

The point is, is it was, like, a prostitute who worked only with hand jobs. And I remember Cybill shepherd played the mom, and it was coming on, and we would have. It's also really funny. Like, the first time I watched RuPaul's Drag Race was for Chelsea lately, because there's a new show we have to when we watch reality shows and stuff, and it's been on for, like, 18 years now.

Chelsea Handler (12:50)

Have you ever been on RuPaul's Drag Race?

Guy Branham (12:52)

No.

Chelsea Handler (12:52)

Oh, well, you should be.

Katherine (12:53)

It's time for you to guest judge.

Guy Branham (12:55)

I am. I'm not allowed to talk about that subject right now.

Chelsea Handler (12:57)

Okay, I see.

Guy Branham (12:59)

But I am gonna be in the Drag Race movie that's coming out.

Chelsea Handler (13:02)

Ooh, nice.

Guy Branham (13:03)

Yeah. Later this spring.

Chelsea Handler (13:04)

Ooh, cool. And you've been on a bunch of TV shows since Chelsea lately?

Guy Branham (13:09)

Yes, I've been on Platonic. I've been on Hacks.

Chelsea Handler (13:13)

Platonic is a great show. Underrated. I love fucking Rose Byrne. She's so awesome.

Guy Branham (13:16)

Well, it was such an exciting night for Rose last night. I mean, she's like. She has a real rich, interesting career, but that doesn't always end up in, like, awards y things. She does funny things as well, but that she got such respect for. If I had legs, I'd kick you. And I was really hoping for her. But Jessie Buckley was gonna win.

Chelsea Handler (13:33)

I know.

Katherine (13:33)

Jessie Buckley was incredible.

Chelsea Handler (13:34)

What about Michael B. Jordan? And first of all, I'm so fucking happy Michael B. Jordan won, and I'm so happy that Timothee Chalamet did not.

Katherine (13:40)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (13:41)

Now listen. And I know that this is a sensitive topic because we're saying I had to look up when the voting ended for the Oscars.

Guy Branham (13:47)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (13:47)

I looked that up to find out. It started on February 26th, and it ended on March 10th. So his comments. Timothee Chalamet's comments about the ballet and opera had an impact for sure. Cause I thought, oh, maybe they voted on this months ago. Michael B. Jordan deserves this. Definitely. Hands down, Period, Period. He or Leo, I think, were the two best performances. And I would say Michael B. Jordan because he deserves it.

Guy Branham (14:09)

And he played two roles.

Chelsea Handler (14:11)

He played two. Yes. He played two people. That movie was so huge and such a blockbuster and got not like a modicum of the respect it deserves from the industry because the industry is so fucking racist. But by saying that Timothee Chalamet blew it, it's kind of taking away from Michael B. Jordan's deserving of the award.

Guy Branham (14:29)

But I think it's also interesting the way that we were all like, it's Timmy's year. He gets nominated all the time. This will be the one that he wins for. And then we were all like, is it. And I really feel, as much as the comments, I think people just being, like, a little bit annoyed with Marty Supreme.

Chelsea Handler (14:44)

Yeah. Cause he was acting like Marty supreme in his interviews. But that's. Is that Marty supreme or is that Timothee Chalamet? Is the question. It's just too much like watching someone. And I think I got. I did. I said something after the Critics Choice Awards. I was like, it's just really hard to watch somebody pump themselves up like this so much and pump their own movie. I understand you're campaigning to win an Oscar Wilde. We all understand how it works. You have to campaign. You have to do interviews. But to go out there when you're competing against Leo DiCaprio, who fucking deserves an Oscar for every single thing he does. When you're competing against Michael B. Jordan, who. People who are older than you and have been at this a long time, like, there should be a level of deference or humility. Like, I remember the one interview where he. Which is the interview I had commented on, and my PR team was like, oh, you kind of went after Timothee Chalamet for no reason. I'm like, yeah, I know, but he's annoying. Was like, I've been delivering a performances for the last seven to eight years of my life. Or the last seven, eight years I've been giving You a performances. It doesn't get any better than this. This is it. This is, like, a level. And you're like, okay, that's annoying.

Guy Branham (15:50)

Yes. I mean, the thing is, is, like, he's still young. Like, you know, he's got time. Delroy Lindo has been out there doing the work for, like, decades, and it was a little entitled. And there's also the way that, like, his brand pivot, I don't think helped. I mean, dating the Jenner girl and all of that does make you wonder. And, like, he's supposed to be our little Artie boy. He's supposed to be our Call Me by youy Name boy. And then saying the thing about the opera and ballet was just like, what are you doing, little Manhattan boy?

Chelsea Handler (16:21)

Don't you think, though, part of his rebranding is gonna be without Kylie Jenner?

Guy Branham (16:25)

100%.

Chelsea Handler (16:26)

Yeah, she's gonna. I don't think that's gonna be long.

Katherine (16:27)

We've been together for so long.

Chelsea Handler (16:28)

But now he has to rebrand. He probably devastated that he didn't win. You know what I mean?

Katherine (16:35)

Because he has no idea.

Chelsea Handler (16:36)

He knows he blew it. But I also am very sensitive to the fact that that is, you know, Michael B. Jordan. I do think he deserves an Oscar. He was fucking great in that movie. And I also think Hollywood has to be more conscientious and responsible to people of color. Like, it's ridiculous.

Guy Branham (16:52)

The other thing that was cool about

Chelsea Handler (16:53)

they are racist, that award.

Guy Branham (16:55)

Yes. Is that thus far, all of the guys who have won for, like, Black Men who have won for Best Actor were won after a long career. Like, people winning in their 40s and, like, having somebody who, like, look, he's been around since All My Children and, you know, Friday Night Lights. But, like, Michael B. Jordan being somebody whose best stuff is still ahead of him and having an Academy Award is exciting.

Chelsea Handler (17:19)

Okay, did you see that Nicole Kidman came out publicly with Simon Baker, that they're together? They've announced their own relationship. Yeah. Two Oscars.

Guy Branham (17:26)

Good for her. But also, like, this is a good move for Simon Baker. Cause I don't think he's in the Devil Wears Prada, too. And it's a great way of saying, how dare you not put me in the Devil Wears Prada, too?

Chelsea Handler (17:35)

Was he in the first one?

Guy Branham (17:36)

He was. He played the, like, nefarious. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. He played the.

Chelsea Handler (17:39)

He's hot.

Guy Branham (17:39)

Yes. He played the nefarious guy who she was Anne Hathaway was tempted by, but then didn't go with but, like, good for Nicole Kidman. I mean, ever since, I think they

Chelsea Handler (17:49)

must have replaced Simon Baker with Kara Swisher, because Kara Swisher keeps talking about being in a scene of the Devil Wears Prada. I'm pretty sure.

Guy Branham (17:56)

I mean, she is rakishly handsome.

Chelsea Handler (17:58)

Yeah, she is. She is. I love Kara. I love Cara. I listen to that podcast every week. Do you listen to Pivot with Scott and Kara Tuckock Alloy?

Guy Branham (18:05)

I only listen to it sometimes. I only listen to it sometimes.

Chelsea Handler (18:07)

I like to get my world updates from that. But that's. So anyway, Nicole Kidman obviously broke up with Keith Thurbin or whatever happened in that relationship, which supposedly he asked for the divorce.

Katherine (18:18)

That was what I read.

Chelsea Handler (18:18)

Well, it seems like he relapsed, didn't it? I mean, I don't know, obviously, so I can't say that he relapsed, but it seemed like he did. It seemed pretty drastic and, like, unexpected.

Katherine (18:28)

Yeah.

Guy Branham (18:28)

I like Simon Baker for her. I think having an actor who is not as famous as you as somebody to, like, accompany you to things who, you know, looks very nice, is a good answer, I think, you know, being half of a country couple was always a hat she was gonna wear, not like a life she was gonna lead.

Chelsea Handler (18:47)

Oh, interesting. I like that. Did you practice that on your way over? I think I found out, but I. This is a little bit of a sidebar, but why are country musicians so many of them Australian?

Katherine (19:00)

That's a really good question.

Chelsea Handler (19:01)

What is that? The Outback?

Guy Branham (19:02)

It is really interesting, but also last night at the Oscars, thinking about how many. The great thing about award shows is it lets Australians and Irish people use their real accents the only time. But it's like the sheer number of our A list actors who are Australian, and it's like, I get that because they're tall and strong, because all of the sunshine and, you know, rugby, but I did like, and I guess a

Chelsea Handler (19:25)

lot, they are tall and strong.

Guy Branham (19:26)

Rich, criminal genetics. Yes. But the country thing is so weird culturally. It is the other places that, like, country music really means something and connects. It's kind of strange, but it's like

Katherine (19:39)

they're not being country stars over there. They're being country star trees here.

Chelsea Handler (19:42)

Is there country music in Australia?

Katherine (19:44)

Because I kind of don't know.

Chelsea Handler (19:44)

I mean, that's what we have to get to the bottom of my concern

Guy Branham (19:47)

is, like, you're not getting a direct Sydney to Nashville. You know, that's a lot of having to connect.

Chelsea Handler (19:52)

Right, right. Well, I would like to know what happened with that relationship. It's too bad I'm not going to my friend's 50th birthday because Nicole would be there. This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Verasity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism ignite is safe for everyone, including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before Metabolism Ignites sells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code iheartra. This year I shared a lot of personal stories in my special and in my new book and one was about a lemonade stand that I had as a young entrepreneur, but I was basically selling spiked lemonade which was very profitable. It turns out I had always wanted to can my own vodka lemonade, but every time I tried to partner with a brand it just never worked. The lemon didn't taste real, they were too sweet. There was some weird metallic aftertaste. So I gave up on it for a while. And then one morning I met the founders of Owls Brew. Our first meeting was at 9am in my hotel room and they showed up with dozens of samples. They absolutely nailed it. I tasted it and I thought oh my God, I should have been working with women this whole time. So we made my Vodka Lemonade with Owls Brew. Real vodka, real lemon juice, clean ingredients and no fake stuff and the perfect hint of sweetness. They are absolutely refreshing. And because I love you, you can use code dear Chelsea for 20% off@theowlsbrew.com it's the lemonade stand fully grown. Cheers to us. Dogs aren't just pets. We know this Doug is one of the most important, if not the most important, member of my family and certainly the only man I want in my bed at the moment. Since I want the absolute best for my Chow Chow Doug, I am making the switch to Ollie. They offer fresh protein packed meals made with real human grade ingredients. A win for Doug's health. And they offer five tasty recipes all slow cooked for top nutrition. A win for his happiness. Your dog's well being starts with their food and that's why Ollie delivers fresh human grade food that your dog will love. So head to ollie.com Chelsea tell them all about your dog and use code Chelsea to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie. O L L I E.com Chelsea and enter code Chelsea to get 60% off your first box. Let's be real. We all want to look a little younger without a visit to a surgeon, lying about our age or pretending we suddenly drink more water. That's why Plexaderm is taking the beauty world by storm. Millions have tried it and not to mention it as a 4.0 review on Amazon. Why? It's because it works. So say goodbye to dreaded puffy under eye bags, wrinkles and crow's feet. With Plexaderm, your skin can look years younger in minutes and it lasts up to 10 hours. 10 hours? Seriously? Influencers rave about it, fans can't get enough and we are just obsessed. Elle magazine even gave it their Editor's Choice award for best Instant Wrinkle Filler 2025. Basically an official stamp of approval from the pros. The best part, the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles under eye bags dramatically reduced in 10 minutes or less. No surgery, no gimmicks, just results that last. So join the millions of users and try it now for only $14.95 with free shipping. Visiting plexaderm.com Chelsea that's plexaderm.com Chelsea where are you at with Blake Lively and the Justin Baldoni scandal? I want to know your stance.

Guy Branham (24:27)

Okay. It's fascinating when you have a situation where everyone Terrible. Like there is something. The thing that makes me mad about it though is it ends with us. Is like one of the few real successes in film in the last couple of years.

Chelsea Handler (24:40)

Yeah. Which has been ruined.

Guy Branham (24:41)

We need this town to not collapse. And they fucking destroyed it. But it really does. Every time I get a little bit of information about it. I went to a dinner party. Do you know John Marco Cerisi.

Chelsea Handler (24:50)

Who? What?

Guy Branham (24:51)

John Marco Cerisi is right?

Chelsea Handler (24:52)

John Marco Cerisi.

Guy Branham (24:53)

Yeah. He's a very funny comic. You would enjoy it.

Chelsea Handler (24:55)

Okay. I don't think I know anything.

Guy Branham (24:56)

I was at, like, a Shabbat where the only thing that was being broken down was this story. And I got so much information. But, like, every time I learn something where I'm like, maybe he's right, it's like, no, they are both terrible. And it really sounds like she and Ryan have been calculating and playing this very, very hard.

Chelsea Handler (25:16)

I agree with you. Something's wrong with the two of them. And they are like. It doesn't. Like, especially. It's like when a dam breaks and you're like, finally, you just don't have to look away. There's nothing that can be done. And you're like, we have too much information.

Guy Branham (25:34)

But also, I think there's something that's very interesting in LA of, like, when somebody fights so hard for control of a project that they end up wrecking the project. And, like, this is the rare situation where the project was successful, but they have ruined that success by making it impossible to profit from it from anyway.

Chelsea Handler (25:54)

And what do you think is the Taylor Swift of it all with regard to the status of their friendship?

Guy Branham (25:59)

Oh, I mean, like, I don't know. Like, I think that she is maybe our greatest politician, and I think that, like, she does a lot of presenting her friendships and relationships to us, but also, I think she goes away from controversy, you know?

Chelsea Handler (26:17)

Yeah, well, she doesn't have time. She doesn't have time for that shit either. You know, I mean, when you spend so much time working as hard as, like, you know, like, she does on her image and, like, her, like, what she's presenting, it's kind of like what you're saying. And, like, she's so thoughtful, planning things, like three and five years out, she's like, I didn't have time for this lawsuit. Like, this is not on my calendar and I'm not gonna participate in it.

Katherine (26:39)

But yet I feel like she's still been a really good friend to Blake. Like, those text messages that were.

Chelsea Handler (26:43)

Yeah, they were all very public. Very nice.

Katherine (26:46)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (26:46)

Good friend texts.

Katherine (26:47)

Yeah.

Guy Branham (26:48)

But the thing, like, the thing is, with some of these people who are, like, our industries, like, Taylor Swift is an industry, who are the women who were in the Mean Girl mom group? There was like. Was it.

Chelsea Handler (27:00)

Oh, that was Hilary Duff.

Guy Branham (27:02)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (27:03)

And Mandy Moore.

Guy Branham (27:05)

Yes. And it is just like Mandy Moore, one of Hollywood's great survivors. But, like, that she still makes the time to be incidentally cruel to people around her, I think reflects a balanced life, you know? And I just don't imagine that Taylor has the time for, like, messy girl talk, for, you know, ganging up on people the way that she used to.

Chelsea Handler (27:27)

Did she used to?

Guy Branham (27:28)

I don't know.

Katherine (27:28)

Yeah, the whole you stole my dancers and the Katy Perry thing and all of that.

Guy Branham (27:32)

I mean, the fucking track that she wrote about Charli XCX on the most recent album, I think is Delicious, by the way.

Chelsea Handler (27:39)

I do, too. That is actually a great song.

Guy Branham (27:40)

I mean, the thing is. But it's also like, it's pettiness that is going to, in the long term, make her a great deal of money. And like, that, like, that woman is, like, focusing her pettiness towards her greater brand. I'm like, if only I could, you know.

Chelsea Handler (27:56)

Like, when people have complaints about Taylor Swift, it's usually in the vein that she doesn't let other artists breathe or have the success that she does. How she re releases things. And I don't quite understand all of this. Cause I don't really understand, but how she, like, you know, has 16 or 17 different album covers. And then it's like, okay, this is available for a limited release, right? Or somebody will drop, like, a. Billie Eilish will drop a song, and then she'll drop one right after so that Billie Eilish doesn't stay at number one. Those are things that I've heard. Is that out there in the zeitgeist that that happens?

Katherine (28:28)

Well, definitely the, like, publishing a ton of different covers. So, like, the girls who love her have to go buy nine different, you know, 25 different covers. That definitely is a thing.

Guy Branham (28:36)

A man has never been criticized for trying to be cute, you know, and it is like, I think that so

Chelsea Handler (28:41)

much, it always kind of comes back to that.

Guy Branham (28:43)

Yeah. Like, our resentment is somebody who's, like, doing it too well, who is too in control. And there's a way that, like, we demand this kind of, like, messiness and vulnerability from women. Like, oh, there's a great line. There was this British art critic who said, men act, women appear. The notion that, like, men get to be agents, but women are always like objects. And I think as artists, we so frequently. It's like with Lena Dunham, we couldn't understand that she was an artist who was creating something and not just the mess. That was Hannah Horvath. And I think that that is something that we have a hard time understanding. That, like, you are an artist, not Just a human being sharing the messiness of your life.

Chelsea Handler (29:23)

Fill me in on this Rebel Wilson story.

Katherine (29:25)

So what you were saying about how a project can be ruined by all of this, like, behind the scenes stuff. So Rebel Wilson got basically in pissing match with her producer of her new movie, which is called the Deb. It's like an Australian movie. It's a musical. It's supposed to be this like, light, frothy, fun thing. But they've been in a legal battle over a credit that Rebel Wilson wanted on the movie. And, you know, she supposedly didn't earn it. And so they've been in this legal battle for like two years and now, like, she's using. Okay. Allegedly.

Chelsea Handler (29:57)

Because this, it's a little Blake Lively.

Katherine (29:59)

It is very much so. The crisis PR firm that supposedly she is using and her team are doing the same sort of smear campaigns online and these, like, websites saying that this producer, who is a woman, was like, sexually harassing someone on the shoot and, like asking her to sleep with her. That person has gone on the record and said, that didn't happen. That is not real. But it's the same, same PR firm that Justin Baldoni used. So it's very Blake Lively, Jessa Baldoni.

Chelsea Handler (30:29)

But from the other angle.

Katherine (30:30)

Yes.

Guy Branham (30:31)

I mean, the ways that our industry is getting wrecked by some of these, I think particularly publicists being too good at their jobs, I think.

Chelsea Handler (30:39)

Imagine opening up a crisis PR firm so you can just deal with fucking acrimony and hate and create it and stir it up and fighting all the time. It's like, oh, my God, how many crisis PR firms are there?

Guy Branham (30:52)

It does lead to the best possible moment in entertainment, which is when somebody's publicist fires them. Like, there is just sort of like, there's no clearer sign that, like, oh, they're just impossible to work with. But it's like, you're Rebel Wilson. Let your movie come out. Like you need something to be happening.

Chelsea Handler (31:09)

But also, we just saw this whole fucking thing for the last two years with Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni. So if you learn anything, don't. Yes, exactly. Nobody wants this. Like, if this is true, you know, to actively go after somebody to like, ruin their reputation, even if that person is a fucking idiot. You know what I mean? Even if that person sucks, what is the point of doing that? Right?

Katherine (31:34)

And, like, we don't know it was Rebel specifically pushing for this, but there was audio leaked of her team discussing these tactics to use against this person. Oops.

Guy Branham (31:44)

I mean, like, it's just rough and you really have to question, like, where are you putting your energy? You know, like, you're like, you're Rebel Wilson. Do, like, do something creative. Like, don't waste your time just being in a fight.

Katherine (31:58)

She got married at Disneyland. There's nothing creative happening there.

Chelsea Handler (32:01)

Disneyland. Oh, God, I wish they would shut that place down. I know how many people love it, but honestly, I do love it, but

Katherine (32:07)

I would not get married there.

Guy Branham (32:08)

I do love it. I do think anyone who purchases, like, that much of a packaged wedding without doing it hilariously is, you know, I question.

Chelsea Handler (32:18)

Yeah, right. What else is in the news? Ooh.

Katherine (32:21)

Well, you were just talking about Lindy west, your friend.

Chelsea Handler (32:23)

Oh, yeah. Tell us about your friend. She just published a book. What's it called?

Guy Branham (32:26)

It's called Adult Braces, and it's a really good book. And it's about her sort of like, coming to a midlife existential crisis. Do you remember the show Shrill on Hulu?

Chelsea Handler (32:35)

Of course.

Guy Branham (32:35)

It was based on her book. And sort of, like, the weirdness of having her life processed through a TV show, something you would know nothing about, and then sort of like, having, like, miscommunication. Not miscommunication, but, like, bad communication with her husband, which she had agreed to be, like, open, but wanted to not know about the stuff that he did that was open. And then he got a girlfriend, and she had, like, uncertainty and a lot of, like, questioning of herself about that. So she goes on a van trip down to the Florida Keys and back to sort of, like, get her head straight. And there's just been a lot of people. And I was there for her book launch, and a lot of people have been expressing a lot of opinions about her relationship without having read the book. And, you know, it's very frustrating for her.

Chelsea Handler (33:18)

And, like, what kind of opinions are they expressing that are hurtful to her?

Guy Branham (33:22)

Like, they were saying that, like, that's not a good way of going into polyamory. And they were just sort of saying, like, oh, this is sad for you. You don't actually want this. And she's like, no, I love this. I love Roya, my girlfriend. Like, this is a better situation that is more wholesome and healthy for all of us. That's the point of the book. And people are like, you can't have that opinion.

Chelsea Handler (33:40)

Ah, interesting.

Guy Branham (33:41)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (33:42)

I wish there were a way for people to not care about the feedback they get when they put out a piece of creative work.

Guy Branham (33:49)

It's really hard, though. And the thing is, you read the comments. Cause you want the people who Say that you're great, but then you see the stuff where people are critical. It is really hard. I wish I could be one of those people. And also, I think all the people who say that they don't care are lying.

Chelsea Handler (34:05)

No, but there's a level of caring about it. I understand that you have to care. It's what you put out. If I put a book out and it didn't do well, or if it, you know, I would care, but I don't know that I would. Like, just like, when you see 10 comments in a row telling you you're the greatest thing in the world, that gets old pretty quickly too.

Guy Branham (34:23)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (34:24)

Like, it's nice, but you're not gonna bathe in that. Like, that's not real. It's real. It's your impact, which is really important. Like, you know, the kind of. I think I always use the term domino effect you have on people. You know, to leave people like, you know, feeling good and like, to actually have an impact on them is important. But just, like, you don't sit there and read these glowing reviews about yourself. Like, I'm not gonna sit there and read bad things about myself. On and on and on and on. And like, it's not necessary.

Guy Branham (34:50)

Two things. The first one is just I've never really gotten to say it to you, but the number of times that I've been in some situation and somebody reflected back to me that seeing me and Ross on your show, like, helped them figuring out coming out of the closet or who they were always is so great. But my question for you is one of the things that's interesting about the book is Lyndy talking about sort of, like, the specter of her first book, Shrill, and the way that it made out of her as a fat person and as a feminist. And I just wonder for you after, like, what's the first book called? Horizontal Life.

Chelsea Handler (35:24)

Horizontal Life.

Guy Branham (35:25)

My Horizontal Life. Was it hard for you? Was it weird for you? Sort of like the Persona, But I guess it was a reflection of your standup Persona, which is like, you know, you were used to handling that. But was there anything with any of your books? Has there been anything weird about the way it made people see you?

Chelsea Handler (35:41)

No. I mean, sometimes people would be disappointed. Like, when I got very deep with, like, my book, what was it called? Life Will Be the Death of Me, I got really deep about my brother and a lot of people. And when I did a tour, I didn't do a standup tour. I did, like, a talking about the book tour. And I think I was just testing the water to see if I wanted to get back into stand up. Cause I had taken such a long break. But people were definitely disappointed that that wasn't like the old Chelsea, like the funny, funny ribalds and all that stuff, which.

Katherine (36:09)

It's so funny that you say that because we still get emails all the time that were like, that book did so much for me. That book changed my life. Thank you so much for sharing that. So it's like. So it's. It is totally different strokes for different folks. Absolutely.

Chelsea Handler (36:22)

And as do I. And I love that. I love that feedback. But I also, like, even when I put that out and people And I got some of that feedback, like, wait, this isn't the Chelsea we know and love. And I'm like, yeah, it's moving. Like, I'm moving well.

Guy Branham (36:35)

Yeah. The thing is, you have to evolve as an artist. And we've all seen people who got kind of trapped by just doing the thing that worked over and over and over again. And I think if you want to be somebody who is alive and has something to say, you have to evolve

Chelsea Handler (36:49)

what you're doing, and you have to be representative and real about what you're going through as an artist. Not every artist has to do this. Like, an actor doesn't necessarily have to share all of that. But as a comedian or as somebody who is playing myself, I'm myself. You know what I mean? It's insincere and disingenuous for me to act one way and be going through it another way. Like, I'm not faking it. I am actually on a. Whatever. For lack of a better word. Yeah, I'm getting the upgrade. A. And for lack of a better word, journey.

Guy Branham (37:18)

Like, you've been pretty transparent with social media, pretty transparent with comedy always. And I think that makes it easier to just sort of, like, keep these things flowing along. And I think for some people who are pretty famous, understanding what level of transparency, you know, understanding. I think also when you have kids and it's like, you know, because that weird thing of, like, this is my life, but also, like, I don't want people kidnapping them.

Chelsea Handler (37:43)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The kids. I don't have to deal with that problem. Another great decision by me.

Guy Branham (37:48)

But there's a really good passage at the end of Lindy's book that is basically like, a book isn't the truth. A book is sort of like your representation of where you are. And also just sort of like the idea of what I'm saying. Right now may not be true of me always, but I'm not gonna sacrifice the happiness that I have now in service of being right three years from now.

Chelsea Handler (38:09)

Yes. Right. Also. And it's important to know that if I said something in that moment, I meant it. You know what I mean? Like, somebody was like, oh, I thought you hate flowers. I'm like, well, I did. When they were. When I did. I did hate flowers at a certain point in my life. I thought that was kind of just like, not pedantic, but just like, ooh, I don't need flowers.

Guy Branham (38:27)

I love cut flowers, I love getting flowers.

Chelsea Handler (38:30)

I don't want roses, I don't want rose. I want flowers. You know what I mean? Thoughtful flowers. I'm interested in that. How's your dating life, by the way?

Guy Branham (38:37)

I mean, it's decentralized as always. I was in New York and I saw a guy who I see in New York. And before that I went to Quebec in February. Never a great choice.

Chelsea Handler (38:50)

Must have been for some dick.

Guy Branham (38:52)

Yes. So that kind of thing.

Chelsea Handler (38:55)

Do you like that?

Guy Branham (38:57)

Yes. Like the number of people out there. Like, I'm a very specific person. I used to have a joke about this. I am the sexual equivalent of a left handed oyster shucking glove. I'm not for everyone, but those who need it will appreciate it. And so I did have a long term relationship. 2016 to 2019. I've been doing a solo show where I talk about the complexities of it. Cause I'd never really been in a relationship before. But like, that was interesting. I think meeting somebody who was a right person for me made me much clearer about who isn't a right person for me, if that makes sense.

Chelsea Handler (39:33)

Totally makes sense. And how did, how was it being in a relationship for three years after not having had a relationship?

Guy Branham (39:39)

It was weird and it was scary and I didn't really know how to deal with it. And I didn't always make the best of choices. Neither did he. But I learned a lot from it. And I think just at the, like, he was smart in the right ways and kind in the right ways in ways that like, helped me grow up. And it was good. He's still a very good friend of mine.

Chelsea Handler (40:01)

Oh, that's good.

Guy Branham (40:01)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (40:02)

And do you think you want another relationship?

Guy Branham (40:04)

I don't know, because it's.

Chelsea Handler (40:05)

Because I kind of like what you're talking about. You know what I mean? And that's my vibe is like, bounce around lots of different people. You know, I'm not in that situation right now. But I like that well.

Guy Branham (40:15)

And I think for me, as somebody who like started out in a very gay way, just sort of like hooking up and stuff, understanding what emotions are appropriate and like really like letting myself treasure someone and enjoy someone is like, I think learning many different definitions of the word love is really, really useful and good for me, but also like my job and my creative process and the things that I do go in so many directions that like there is something nice about just like having a nice time with someone and then going off and doing my own thing.

Katherine (40:49)

Right.

Chelsea Handler (40:49)

Cause I was just saying to Katherine in our last episode, I was saying, like, when I work, I want to be alone. I don't want anyone in my house when I come back and I'm in LA or if wherever I am when I'm working, I need to be on my own thing.

Guy Branham (41:00)

Yeah.

Katherine (41:01)

Cause you don't like the check in texts, I'm guessing.

Chelsea Handler (41:03)

Yeah, check in, check in. We don't have to talk on the phone every day. I mean communicate. But you don't. I mean sometimes on the phone, fine, if you're in the mood. But like there's no. I don't like to be restrictive or be feel tethered. I need my space.

Guy Branham (41:18)

Well, I mean, in reference to Lindy's book, a line of mine that I have been repeating a lot is to me sexual fidelity is the least interesting kind of fidelity. Like there are so many other things that I want to know that I'm the first person that you tell about a very good restaurant that you went to. Like, I don't care who you're fucking, but like, you know those things that like really do matter, that somebody share those things with you. Like it is other things that matter to me.

Chelsea Handler (41:44)

Right, Yeah, I like that. Are we going to take callers?

Katherine (41:47)

Oh, we sure are. And actually I have some questions that align very much with what we've been talking about.

Chelsea Handler (41:51)

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Katherine (45:58)

Well, our one drink question that we'll start off with is Dear Chelsea, my ex and I broke up a year ago, but we've maintained a friendship. Shortly after the breakup, I found out he was hanging out with a certain guy, the one I was told not to worry about. I did some digging and found a tweet from that guy posted while we had been together that said something like, why do I always fall for guys 200 miles away? My ex is in NYC. That guy lives in DC. We were in an open relationship, so physical stuff wasn't the issue, but I realized he was probably emotionally cheating on me while we were still together. Now, even as just friends, every interaction brings that betrayal back up. I've thought about having a conversation with him about it, but I'm worried it might be too much. Do you think talking about it would bring clarity or just reopen old wounds?

Guy Branham (46:39)

Gabe, I think you kind of need to talk to him about it. Like in most situations, like, you know, I don't think you should reopen old wounds all the time. I don't think you need to get into everything. But it's like if you want to be friends with this guy, this is going to fester and you're going to get annoyed and it's going to turn into something bad or inappropriate. And I think like, we're mature, sophisticated gay guys who were able to have an open relationship and I think being able to have a lunch where it's like, well, tell me what was going on just so I can know. We'll let you decide how much you want to be friends with these guys and like, hopefully open you up so that you can like and appreciate them on their own terms and maybe have a three way eventually.

Katherine (47:20)

I love that.

Chelsea Handler (47:21)

Well, that's a nice spin.

Guy Branham (47:22)

Yes.

Chelsea Handler (47:22)

But the other, conversely, like, what are the chances this guy's gonna be honest about what he was doing when they were in a relationship? Knowing that's just gonna stir up, you know what I'm saying? Like, you're gonna ask my ex boyfriend asks me if I was cheating on him. And I was like, what's the advantage of being. You know what I mean? I'd be like, that's just gonna hurt him. I'm gonna keep that to myself. And you're probably gonna get lied to anyway. I mean, not 100%. I don't know these people well.

Guy Branham (47:44)

I mean, and that is the dangerous possibility is if this person lies to you, then you like have to resent them, you know?

Chelsea Handler (47:50)

Right. But also, you may never know that they're lying. Like, you may not really know. Maybe they were just flirting or who knows? My take on all of this shit as I've gotten older has changed and evolved, which is. It doesn't fucking matter. You're not with the person anymore. Whatever happened while you were with them doesn't fucking matter. You know what I mean? You were dating, you were in an open relationship. All the things are there. Now you're gonna be upset that he was an emotional cheater instead of a physical cheater. Like, the relationship's over, move on.

Guy Branham (48:17)

Well, and there's also some things to be said for, like, give it some space. Give it some space. Go. And I think it's really hard after the end of a relationship to like, you wanna be focused on that, but like, give it and then go back and then you can be friends on whatever terms those are two years from now.

Chelsea Handler (48:33)

Yes, that's also good idea to give it to me. Did he say he wants to remain friends with him? Is that part of it? Yeah, they're still good friends, but I think that we always want to like, control the situation. And the situation's over. You didn't control it. It's over. And like, the idea of controlling the outcome of something is very like, it's a false motivation you're never going to be able to control. Plus, it already fucking happened.

Guy Branham (48:54)

Yeah.

Chelsea Handler (48:54)

So I would say get, you know.

Katherine (48:56)

All right, you have two pieces of advice.

Chelsea Handler (48:58)

Let us know what you go with. Let us know what you go with. And how that goes.

Katherine (49:01)

All right, well, our first caller today is Leah. She says, dear Chelsea, I'm an actress and comedian in LA and I would love your advice on my current situation. After 15 years of building an online audience of 40k followers, my Instagram at Liakanaur was disabled. After I made an anti Trump joke that went viral and a mass of Trumpers reported it. I now have to start a new account, Iakanaour Xo from zero. I'm heartbroken and angry. So long freedom of speech, I guess. As an up and coming actress and comedian, my social media is obviously vital for promoting shows and booking gigs. As you know, I feel like everything I've built has crashed and burned at my feet and my career is over. What do I do? Have you ever experienced a major loss, professional or personal, that ended up being a blessing? I'd really appreciate your insight and encouragement, Leah.

Chelsea Handler (49:47)

Oh, I can't believe that they could do that. Hi, Leah. Look, we have Guy Branham here today. He's another comedian.

Katherine (49:54)

Hi, Guy. Hi, Chelsea.

Chelsea Handler (49:55)

Hi. How are you?

Katherine (49:57)

I'm okay. I'm happy to be here. I wish it was on in different circumstances, but I'm really looking forward to your advice.

Chelsea Handler (50:04)

Well, first of all, every disaster that happens or kind of like, I don't know how you want to. How you're framing this, but it's definitely. I don't understand how they are able to take accounts down like that. What do they. I don't understand how that works.

Katherine (50:18)

Yeah, I don't either. It's pretty crazy. No, but apparently this happens to a lot of people for all kinds of different reasons and sometimes no reason at all. And I'm actually speculating. They never told me what guideline.

Chelsea Handler (50:30)

So they just cancel your account?

Katherine (50:32)

Yeah, I just woke up one day and my account was gone. They didn't specify what guideline I broke or what post it was, but I'm speculating because I had a very viral anti Trump post. So I'm like, maybe that was it. And I think a lot of people reported it and then it just was down. And I feel. I'm like, yeah, I'm mad at myself. I feel like I ruined everything. Chelsea, I'm actually on a show with you tomorrow, so I'm very excited to meet you.

Chelsea Handler (50:57)

In what show?

Katherine (50:58)

At the Ice House.

Chelsea Handler (51:00)

Okay, well, I'll see you at the Ice House. That's great. I am performing there. I forgot I'm doing. Yeah, great. But everything that doesn't work out, there's always some blessing. You're not you may not find out about it in the next week or two weeks or six months, but you'll find out about it at some reason. You will have had some stalker that was gonna try and come over to your house and stalk you or kill you or something terrible that you avoided or averted by not having your social media account. So let's just assume that's true. Okay? Not the worst case scenario true, but just some scenario within that. Let's assume that something like that is true and this was a blessing in disguise. Rebuilding something is not nearly as difficult as you think it is. It feels like that in the moment. 40,000 followers, I know is a lot of people, but you can rebuild that in a second. You don't need like a. The thing that I'm most concerned about is your freedom of speech. And to be able to talk about this, you had something go viral where you were anti Trump. You shouldn't stop talking about how much of an asshole Trump is. So I'm more concerned about now them muzzling you. So where do you stand on that front?

Katherine (52:02)

Yeah, I do feel scared now to speak up and that's why I wanted to ask you, because you're very vocal about politics and I admit admire you both for that. But yeah, now I'm scared.

Chelsea Handler (52:14)

Well, then that worked. Do you know what I mean? Like, it worked. That's what they wanted you to be. They want you to be scared. You are scared. And you're probably going to edit your behavior in the future. So first and foremost, I would say not to do that. I think there's probably certain people that they target, right? Yep. That they know that they can get away with it because you have smaller followings or, I mean, even though 40,000 people is a lot of people. But I really don't think it's not as big of a mountain to climb as you think it is. You can increase your social media presence in weeks. You know what I mean? It's gonna happen. You just have to start again and actually maybe shift it and not necessarily away from being anti Trump. Wait until you've amassed more followers than 40,000 before you start talking out against him. Maybe because they're less likely to erase that. But I think you should look at it as an opportunity now you have an opportunity to create something brand new instead of looking at it as a loss. When we look at everything that we don't get as a loss, it kind of alters your state of mind and the framework within which you look at focus on something. And I think really successful people have an ability to, like, oh, you almost. Not that you're welcoming this. Cause it's not something that you would welcome, but it's almost like, oh, what a fun challenge. I get to rebuild my 40,000 people. And you guess what? You're gonna double that. You're gonna be way more successful. But just figure out how you want to change that in the right way. You know what I mean? Make some slight alteration, not towards being political, but make an alteration about, like, how you see your future as a performer. Right. Like, if you're talented, then there's not much that's gonna get in your way.

Katherine (53:51)

And I also think that, like, talking about your story, like, I got banned from Instagram for saying something about Trump. Like, talking about that on TikTok, I think would go viral also.

Chelsea Handler (53:59)

Yeah, tell your story. Yeah, you can. I mean, that could be your opening video. Like, okay, I was banned from. I'm rebuilding my social media and then talk about other things. So it's not totally centered around Trump, but that story is worthwhile because I'm sure there's millions of other people that are experiencing the same stuff, and maybe there's something good you can do together to make sure that they're not allowed to do that to people. You can't just take someone's account down. I don't understand how that happens, but I really just don't want you to focus on the loss and focus on the actual creative process of starting anew, you know, it's not the end of the world. I promise you. It's not the end of the world. You can act like you've never been on social media before and be like, how do I. How do I work this thing? You could have a whole angle about it. Guy, what do you think?

Guy Branham (54:44)

I think comedians can lose too much energy. When you have bumps in, bad things happen. I think that comedians have so much opportunity with social media to control and be able to, like, communicate with people directly. But also, we forget how much it is being filtered through these corporations that, like, really have infinite power to decide. You know, it's weird when you realize all of the speech restrictions that we accept on TikTok, you know, that, like, we just sort of take them. And so you have to take those two things hand in hand. But I think what Chelsea is saying is right. It will be a whole lot easier to get another 40,000 back. And I think one of the important things is, like, as comedians, the most important thing that we have is inside of you, skills that you have built what you have learned on this path to 40,000. They can't take that away from you.

Katherine (55:34)

Thank you so much. I really. It's very helpful to hear all of that from both of you. So thank you.

Chelsea Handler (55:39)

Yeah, so just keep on trucking, okay? Cause you know you're gonna have to, like, survive much more than this in the world of entertainment and in the world of rejection or what you perceive to be failures. But I really think the true sign of like a real powerful person is never to look at failure as failure. It's like, great. I'm glad I got that out of the way. Now. I'm one step closer to my next success.

Katherine (55:59)

Thank you. All right, Leah, will you keep us posted on what happens and I'll see

Chelsea Handler (56:03)

you at the Ice House.

Katherine (56:04)

I'll see you tomorrow.

Chelsea Handler (56:05)

I'll see you tomorrow. Okay.

Katherine (56:07)

Awesome.

Chelsea Handler (56:07)

Thanks, Leah. Awesome.

Katherine (56:08)

Thank you.

Chelsea Handler (56:08)

Bye.

Katherine (56:09)

Bye. So our next question comes from Steven. Steven says Chelsea, I love you. Love the pod. You're the best. Would love some advice. I'm a 48 year old gay dude who's never been in a relationship. I grew up in New England and being out in the 90s wasn't a thing yet. It was too unsafe to date the boys and I had no interest in dating the girls in college. It just never seemed to happen. I'm the happy fat friend that everyone wants to be friends with but not date. I look at someone like Ross Matthews who was dating Salvador for years when he was heavier. He's now in a loving marriage with Wellington. I see fat guys out there all the time who have boyfriends. How am I so unlucky that it doesn't happen to me? Everyone always says it will happen when you least expect it. Well, I've been waiting for over 25 years now and it hasn't happened yet

Chelsea Handler (56:49)

because you're expecting it.

Katherine (56:51)

I see people on My 600 Pound Life and they're all in relationships and I get so mad because they're fat and they found someone. So if weight is not an issue for them to find someone, what's so wrong with me that I can't? I firmly believe that I won't find a man to date until I'm thin. But that doesn't seem to be true for others. As I'm knocking on the door of 50, I just want it to happen at least once in my life. I want to know what it's like to be loved by another person, not just my family and amazing friends. Never having experienced romance before just drives me into a depth of pain that is real and can last for days. Feeling like damaged goods that no one wants. There are chubby chasers out there who find me attractive. But being found attractive for the one thing that you hate about yourself is a total mind fuck. How do I break the fucking cycle and put myself out there more?

Chelsea Handler (57:32)

Stephen, how do you feel about chubby chasers? I feel like, is that a bad thing?

Guy Branham (57:38)

I mean, like, it can feel weird to be a fetish. It can feel strange when, like, that's the thing that somebody's primarily engaging with, you know, Also, it can be hot if it's the right person, but. But it is that thing of, does this person like me? And also, sometimes there is, like, a power dynamic to it that is, like, creepy and not the most fun of being like, I'm a regular gay guy and you're a sad fat guy, but I will still be nice to you. And it's like, nobody needs that. I understand far too well where Steven is and where he's coming from. And I think part of it is just remembering how far we've come in our lifetimes. That, like, when guys like him and I were in high school, there was no expectation that any of these things would be possible and you weren't treating them as a reality. And I think, you know, and the guys that we're dating have a different understanding of what relationships are and what they are looking for. And so I think accepting that is really important. But also putting yourself in the spaces where there are more people who will, like, you going to Bear Week at Provincetown. If you live in New England, you know, it's like, go there. And there are ways, I think that immersion is a good thing. Some of these things that may feel uncomfortable or weird, like a chubby chaser or like, bear activities can feel weird. But then once you're there, you just. You get in the water and you realize it's fine.

Chelsea Handler (59:06)

Yeah. And you can. And then you're among more of your people. And also there's like, all these. You know, this is true for single people and whatever your sexual preference is or identity is. But, like, you can go online and look for gay activities in your city and look for people who are also looking for gay activities in your city without it being, you know.

Guy Branham (59:24)

But I think there's also a way that the way we have talked to fat people about fatness for such a long time is there will be a future time when you get to lead your life and be happy and, like, releasing that and just sort of saying, like, what needs to happen needs to happen with this me right here. And, like, I also think just doing things to be embodied. Like in Lindy's book, she talks about getting a tattoo and accepting that like this, like, I have ownership over my body. And I think, like, letting yourself own and enjoy your own body is a great way to, like, start accepting it. But also, and I should be lecturing two women about this, but, like, there's also a way that, like, we live in a society that has so many opinions about your body that being able to divorce yourself from what society tells you is kind of impossible.

Katherine (60:11)

Yeah, I do like what you say about, you know, Lindy, I think it's also helpful, Steven, to start observing media from, like, fat activists and storytellers and creatives. You know, listen to the Maintenance Phase podcast and like, put yourself in spaces where, like, your body is being talked about in a positive way, and it can really help undo some of the. The trauma there.

Chelsea Handler (60:31)

But I do agree with you. I do think it's like, I. I mean, I can relate to that so much. When I was a kid and like, you know, dealing with my weight or whatever, I was never fat, but I thought I was, you know, body dysmorphia. And I was always like, when I'm thin, when I'm thin, when I'm thin, that's when things will start to really kick off. You know what I mean? So I can relate to the idea that, like, one day in the future you're gonna da, da, da. But it is, I think it is really, like, when you don't accept yourself, it's hard to get another person to accept you. You have to start with self love. And as corny as that may sound, it seems to be the truth for so many people.

Guy Branham (61:05)

Well, and also accept and acknowledge the fact that, like, other people do have messed up heads about these things. And it's not about your failure. It's about a world that isn't great. And I think going into it with, like, understanding that that's part of the lay of the land is good. We can't fix it all in our own heads, you know?

Katherine (61:24)

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, Steven, put yourself out there and check in with us, okay.

Chelsea Handler (61:29)

And look up for some gay activities in the area that you live. Like, what are gay guys doing besides hunting each other on Grindr? Like, actually, like, stuff that you can do outside stuff or stuff that you can like, you know, events that you can go to, ballroom dancing, I don't know, whatever you're interested in, like hiking

Guy Branham (61:46)

or look, 10 years ago, the gay dodgeball really was the meat market of West Hollywood. Now it's all about pickleball. It's all about pickleball.

Katherine (61:53)

All right. Pickleball.

Chelsea Handler (61:55)

I saw this Instagram post the other night going, how much longer are we gonna let white people dominate pickleball before we fucking get in there and fucking show them how it's done?

Katherine (62:05)

Incredible.

Guy Branham (62:05)

Incredible. Somebody during the Winter Olympics, I forget who was like, once black people enter speed skating, it's over for you, fucker.

Katherine (62:15)

Okay, well, our last caller today is Amber. She says, hi, friends. So I'm in my early 30s and I'm ready to take the next step in my relationship with my beautiful girlfriend. I'm finally at a point in my life where I think it would be good to take the next steps and propose within the next year or two, I'm afraid, because her family, specifically her parents, are not supportive. And she's a super family oriented person. She's someone that would ask me if I got her parents approval before asking her. I feel so. I'm at a crossroads here. I'm not traditional by any means, and she definitely is traditional. Any advice for how to move forward that way? With love, Amber.

Chelsea Handler (62:49)

Hi, Amber. Our special guest is Guy Branham today.

Guy Branham (62:52)

Hello.

Katherine (62:53)

Hi.

Chelsea Handler (62:54)

Well, so you have a relationship and a woman that you love and that you want to propose to. That's exciting. And have you discussed getting married with her?

Katherine (63:02)

Yes, and she's very excited about it.

Chelsea Handler (63:05)

Okay. So do you think that she's expecting you to go to her parents and ask for permission?

Katherine (63:13)

I think that would be her ideal.

Guy Branham (63:16)

How long have you guys been together?

Katherine (63:17)

Almost three years.

Guy Branham (63:19)

Okay.

Katherine (63:19)

I don't know. I think in all realms, asking the parents, like, permission or approval feels so dated.

Chelsea Handler (63:25)

I agree. I feel like that is just. That's. It's just not the way the world should be working. Like, if they're not supportive of the relationship, at best you can get like a tepid. Okay. And that's just like almost puts a stain on the whole process of proposing.

Katherine (63:44)

Now, Amber, what is your relationship like with her parents? Have you met them? I've met them. They're cordial to me. They let me in their house. But it's not. They definitely don't accept us. It's not warm and inviting like they should be with their daughter's partner. No. I think they're in denial as well.

Guy Branham (64:09)

So that happens with parents. One of the things I'm obsessed with is that we are the first generation of queer people who get to have real legal marriages and that we get to build our own traditions along the way. And so much of the time we can feel like bound or constrained by the old school ways. And so I would say if you don't feel comfortable going and asking her parents permission, go to her best friend, go to her sister, Go to someone else who is like a person who respects her and your relationship. So when she does say, did you ask my parents permission? You can be like, I didn't know how that will go. So that's why I talked to Brian.

Chelsea Handler (64:47)

You know, I like that. I think that's great.

Katherine (64:50)

I like that soon I think I could go the sister route. That would be good.

Chelsea Handler (64:54)

Yeah, that's a great idea, guy. That's really, really good. You're right. You get to. That's kind of. I'm glad you said that. That this is the first generation of people who get to get married as gay people. And you should set some new traditions because that is antiquated. Asking a parent for permission. It's like, I wouldn't give a shit what my parents said anyway.

Guy Branham (65:13)

Like, I have been to a gay wedding where, like, parents sat there annoyed the entire time or just weirded out by it, But I still think it's important. I think one of the things that a wedding is about is showing your parents that you're a real adult who gets to make real decisions on your own. So, you know, I think invite them and let them be whatever kind of pills they want to be, but also maybe don't put them in the position of. Of being able to gatekeep this relationship.

Katherine (65:43)

Yeah. I wonder what you also think the two of you about after you've proposed and it's a yes, and everyone's excited, writing them a letter telling them how much you love their daughter, you're gonna take care of her. You're so excited for this new step in your life. How do you feel about that? And engaging them in that way? But it's sort of like you're giving it to them and they can absorb it.

Chelsea Handler (66:03)

I just kind of feel like, fuck you if parents are like that. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's just not helpful. You're supposed to love your child no matter what. How can you judge them based on who they're attracted to?

Guy Branham (66:14)

But I also think that there's the way that, like, when you have somebody, like, for so many queer people, being able to hold these things in the same space is really, really hard. And when you have somebody who is really close to their family, but has never been sort of like, aggressive about saying, like, you need to create this space. For me, it can be really hard. And you don't want that to be something that impairs your marriage, where your partner has to feel like she has to give something up to be in this relationship. And so I do think, like, sending a letter and keeping a door open isn't a terrible idea. But, you know, there is also a deep part of me that understands and respects Chelsea's. If you don't like this go fuck yourself perspective, I mean, it is nice

Chelsea Handler (66:57)

to send a letter and say, like, within that letter to be like, hey, listen, letting them know what's happening.

Katherine (67:02)

Yeah, it's not asking.

Chelsea Handler (67:03)

And also. And just saying, I didn't come to you in a traditional way because this isn't a traditional relationship. And it's been, you know, clear that you guys, you know, I think you should maybe not, like, call them out, but, like, I didn't feel comfortable coming toward to you, you know, like, I hope that can change in the future. I hope we can create a relationship or foster some sort of relationship. Like, if you wanted to say that, I can understand wanting to say that. I don't think it's fucking necessary. But I can understand if you want to really respect her relationship with her family. But I think asking the sister is a real great, Like, I think that's just a great suggestion.

Katherine (67:41)

Yeah, I like, I like that suggestion. I don't think either of our parents would attend, so I think the letter would, if anything would be just. I don't know, I don't know what that letter would look like, but I think it. I. I want to respect that she is so close to her family, but at the same time, I'm not looking for their approval, if that makes sense. Yeah, for sure.

Chelsea Handler (68:06)

Well, I think you cover all your bases with asking her sister.

Katherine (68:09)

Yeah, well, that's true. All right, Amber, will you send us pictures of the engagement when it happens? I will. All right.

Guy Branham (68:18)

Congratulations.

Katherine (68:19)

Yeah, it's really exciting.

Chelsea Handler (68:20)

Congrats, Amber.

Katherine (68:21)

Thank you. And thank you so much again.

Chelsea Handler (68:23)

Yeah, absolutely. This podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Focus Verasity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause of so many issues. With Verasity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try metabolism. Ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergies. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism ignite is safe for everyone, including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before Metabolism Ignites sells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iheart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A dot Health Co for up to 65% off. And make sure you use my promo code iheart. When I was a young entrepreneur opening up a lemonade stand, I realized pretty quickly I could make a lot more money if I spiked it. So that's what I did. Suddenly I was making so much money I started flying first class on family vacations while the rest of my family sat in coach. That's called leadership. Fast forward a few years. Okay, maybe more than a few. And here I am, still an entrepreneur. But this time I upgraded my spiked lemonade recipe and put it in a can just for us. Introducing my Vodka Lemonade with Owls Brew. It's made with real vodka, real lemon juice and clean ingredients. No fake sweeteners, no weird stuff, and nothing that tastes like a science experiment. Just crisp, refreshing, not too sweet and perfect for people who want their drinks to be grown up but still fun. And because I care about you, you can use code DEARCELSEA for 20% off off or find at a store near you at the owlsbrew.com the lemonade stand is officially open for adults. Let's be real. We all want to look a little younger without a visit to a surgeon, lying about our age, or pretending we suddenly drink more water. That's why Plexaderm is taking the beauty world by storm. Millions have tried it and not to mention it as a 4.0 review on Amazon. Why? It's because it works. So say goodbye to dreaded puffy under eye bags, wrinkles and crow's feet. With Plexaderm, your skin can look years younger in minutes and it lasts up to 10 hours. 10 hours? Seriously? Influencers rave about it, fans can't get enough and we are just obsessed. Elle magazine even gave it their Editor's Choice Award for Best Instant Wrinkle Filler 2025. Basically an official stamp of approval from the pros the best part, the appearance of fine lines, wrinkles under eye bag dramatically reduced in 10 minutes or less. No surgery, no gimmicks, just results that last. So join the millions of users and try it now for only $14.95 with free shipping. Visiting plexaderm.com Chelsea that's plexaderm.com Chelsea. You know that I'm always down for sexy lingerie, and Fleur du Mal never misses the female. Founded luxury lingerie and fashion brand, believes in the trade transformative power of sensuality. It is about confidence, a little mischief, and serious sex appeal. Even if no one else sees what you are wearing underneath. Fleur de Mal's bras, bodysuits and slip dresses fit like magic. The name literally means naughty flower, and the designs fully deliver on that promise. Think bias cut slip dresses in rich silk, decadent French lace lingerie and everyday styles that are equal parts beautiful, sexy, and actually comfortable. These are the pieces you put on once and then keep reaching for again and again. With stores in soho, Williamsburg and West Hollywood, Fleur de Mal has become a go to for women who want elevated essentials with an edge. You can shop everything on fleur de mal.com from lingerie and ready to wear to chic pleasure accessories that are beautiful enough to leave out. Fleur de Mal is the brand you turn to when you want to feel like your sexiest, most confident self. I just want to remind you of the call that we got like a couple weeks ago when they were like, we have a guy at work that clears his throat incessantly. I am that man now. I mean, I've always been that man. All I do is go like this. And I haven't even smoked weed. I did. I smoked one day.

Katherine (73:02)

I even asked her. I was like, did you smoke a twig?

Chelsea Handler (73:03)

Well, with Yamanika on Saturday, but what's today? Tuesday.

Guy Branham (73:08)

I was doing a bunch of colleges and so I was listening obsessively to podcasts of college classes. And there was this man, an amazing Greek historian, and it was the best class. And he literally could not go. More like he was like clearing his throat every third syllable. And it was so annoying. It's so hard.

Chelsea Handler (73:31)

I know, I know, I know. We literally got a call and like, someone in our cubicle and like my cubicle next to me just sits there and goes, she's like, we're so fucking annoyed. I'm like, you need to confront him. He has acid reflux.

Guy Branham (73:43)

Yeah, yeah.

Chelsea Handler (73:44)

Anyway, guy, it was a pleasure having you here.

Guy Branham (73:46)

It's good to be here.

Chelsea Handler (73:47)

It was fun.

Guy Branham (73:47)

It was so lovely to get to meet you, Katherine. And it's always a delight to get to see you, Justin.

Chelsea Handler (73:52)

I know, man. Likewise, guy. Likewise. Cheers. Cheers everybody. Goodbye. Okay guys, I am officially on my high and Mighty Tour. March 20 is Denver, Colorado. March 27, Portland, Maine. March 28, Providence, Rhode Island. March 29, Springfield, Massachusetts. April 10 is Chicago I'll be at the Chicago Theater. April 11, Indianapolis, Indiana. April 12, Louisville, Kentucky. April 16 is Albuquerque, New Mexico. April 17 is Mesa, Arizona. April 23 is Kansas City, Missouri. April 24 is St. Louis, Missouri. April 25 is Minneapolis, Minnesota. April 30, Nashville, Tennessee. May 1 is Charlotte, North Carolina. May 2 is Durham, North Carolina. May 6 I'm doing Netflix is a joke festival. I will be in Los Angeles May 15, Saratoga, California. May 16, Monterey, California May 17, Modesto, California and then June 4, Port Chester, New York. June 5 is Boston, Mass. And June 12 is Portland, Oregon. And then Seattle is June 13. I'm doing a second show at the Paramount Theater in Denver on Saturday, December 5, so suck on that everybody. Go to chelseahandler.com for tickets.

Katherine (75:16)

If you want advice from Chelsea, write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Dear Chelsea is a production of I Heart Media. Follow Chelsea on all socials elseehandler and find Catherine on TikTok ashcan. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brandon Dickert Executive Producer Katherine Law. Find full video episodes and minisodes now on Netflix and get tickets to see Chelsea live@chelsea handler.com

Chelsea Handler (75:43)

this podcast is sponsored by Veracity. Welcome to an all natural way to slim down, get energized and sharpen your focus. Veracity is revolutionizing health by tackling the root cause cause of so many issues. With Veracity's drug free, clinically proven and doctor formulated solutions, you can support your body's needs to live your healthiest life. If your goal is weight loss, try Metabolism ignite. The number one doctor recommended GLP1 booster and GLP1 alternative. Metabolism Ignite has sold out 10 times for a reason. No side effects, no allergens. Metabolism Ignite is a natural, safe plant based aid that results in an 85% reduction in hunger and is clinically proven to lose on average nine pounds in 90 days. And metabolism ignite is safe for everyone including breastfeeding new moms and women in perimenopause. So before Metabolism Ignite sells out again, make the switch to GLP1s the natural way. Head to VeracityHealth Co and use code iHeart for up to 65% off your order. Once again, that's V E R A C I T Y Health Co for up to 65% off and make sure you use my promo code. Iheart this year I shared a lot of personal stories in my special and in my new book and one was about a lemonade stand that I had as a young entrepreneur. But I was basically selling spiked lemonade which was very profitable. It turns out I had always wanted to can my own vodka lemonade, but every time I tried to partner with a brand and it just never worked. The lemon didn't taste real, they were too sweet. There was some weird metallic aftertaste. So I gave up on it for a while. And then one morning I met the founders of owls brew. Our first meeting was at 9am in my hotel room and they showed up with dozens of samples. They absolutely nailed it. I tasted it and I thought, oh my God, I should have been working with women this whole time. So we made my vodka lemonade with Owls Brew. Real vodka, real lemon juice, clean ingredients and no fake stuff and the perfect hint of sweetness. They are absolutely refreshing. And because I love you, you can use code dearchelsea for 20% off@theowlsbrew.com it's the lemonade stand fully grown. Cheers to us. TaxAct is here anytime you want to

Guy Branham (78:03)

easily file your taxes. TaxAct is here for the early birds who like to knock them out as

Chelsea Handler (78:09)

soon as the season opens and for

Guy Branham (78:11)

the procrastinators who like to wait until

Chelsea Handler (78:13)

the very last minute.

Guy Branham (78:14)

TaxAct is also here for the middlers who file right in the middle of tax season. No one ever talks about the middlers, but taxact sees you and Taxact respects you. Tax act let's get them over with.

Chelsea Handler (78:30)

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