Dating the Good Dad with Judy Greer

Summary

Dear Chelsea — “Dating the Good Dad with Judy Greer”

Podcast: Dear Chelsea
Host: Chelsea Handler
Guest: Judy Greer
Date: October 2, 2025
Episode Theme: Navigating love, family, step-parenting, sobriety, and core values, highlighted through candid advice and comic honesty.

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Episode Overview

Comedian and author Chelsea Handler welcomes actress Judy Greer for a wide-ranging, humorous, and heartfelt episode. They dive deep into the challenges of step-parenting, midlife, career pivots, marriage, and sobriety, responding to listener stories along the way. With Judy’s signature warmth and Chelsea’s irreverence, the pair offer both practical and emotionally honest advice, making for an engaging, relatable listen.

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Table of Contents

1. Opening Banter & Health Talk
2. Judy Greer’s Career Reflections
3. Stepmotherhood & Dating “the Good Dad”
4. Sobriety, Age, and Changing Generations
5. Listener Questions & Advice
   • Dating a Trump Supporter
   • Supporting a Partner through Job Loss
6. Judy on Family, Only Children, and Marriage Decisions
7. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
8. Timestamps for Key Sections

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1. Opening Banter & Health Talk

• Chelsea Handler describes her peaceful Canadian getaway, the all-female vibe, and her love of gloomy weather (03:51-04:10).
• She candidly shares her current struggles with menopause, hormone replacement therapies, and her vitamin and supplement regimen (04:27-06:20).
• Mental acuity, gratitude journaling, and lifestyle advice are delivered with comedic self-awareness.
  • Chelsea: “I have no estrogen and I have no testosterone. So there is a reason that... my words are not making any sense these days.” (04:27)

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2. Judy Greer’s Career Reflections

• Chelsea gives a lightning-fast rundown of Judy’s extensive film and TV credits, with banter about aging and prescription sunglasses (09:01-10:12).
• Discussion of "character acting" and longevity in Hollywood.
  • Judy: "I don't know [if I am a character actor]. Aren't we all character actors? ...I think that's a funny description. It just means that you're not the star, that's all." (10:30-10:41)
• They reflect on what it means to “make it” in the entertainment business, surviving and thriving as women in midlife (11:11).

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3. Stepmotherhood & Dating “the Good Dad”

• Judy delves into being a stepmom, navigating boundaries and familial roles (21:23-24:29).
  • Judy: “You have all the responsibility and none of the authority. ...Now my kids are old, but when they were young, you are like a babysitter extra sometimes.” (21:33)
• Her experience dating a “good dad” altered her own trajectory—she discovered fulfillment in being a stepmom, influencing her own stance on having biological children.
  • Judy: “It influenced my decision not to have one of my own.” (24:29)
• They both analyze societal pressure and the real motivations behind having children.
  • Judy: “Women who want their babies get their babies, man.” (25:13)
  • Chelsea: “...we always have [the thought] in the back of our minds because of like, society...” (25:23)

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4. Sobriety, Age, and Changing Generations

• Discussion about post-pandemic drinking habits: Judy is now sober, noting many have tried but returned to drinking (19:20-20:11).
• The pair comment on generational culture shifts—Gen Z and young people drinking less, and the impacts on social life and the restaurant industry.
  • Chelsea: “Gen Z is, like, not drinking at all... our generation, we're heavy drinkers, and then everyone is getting sober...” (20:55)

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5. Listener Questions & Advice Segment

<a name="q1"></a>Q1: Accidentally Dating a Trump Supporter (41:53-47:56)

• Question from Erica, a Canadian feminist in LA’s music industry, who discovers her promising new boyfriend voted for Trump “for economic reasons.”
• Judy and Chelsea discuss the realities of value conflicts, especially regarding family planning and long-term partnerships.
  • Chelsea: “I would hate to say you can’t date somebody that voted for Donald Trump, because I just feel like that is just so narrow minded. But right now... it’s just so ugly...” (43:36)
  • Judy: “If that’s what someone’s really looking for... how are you going to raise your kids together?... That would worry me.” (44:09)
  • Both agree: Fundamental value differences—especially on key issues—are likely a deal-breaker for serious relationships.

<a name="q2"></a>Q2: Supporting a Partner through Job Loss (48:13-66:41)

• Caller Charlotte describes financial stress as her wife, historically the breadwinner, remains unemployed for a year following her fourth job loss. Charlotte is conflicted, frustrated, and unsure whether to stay or go.
• Chelsea and Judy question the dynamics — is this circumstantial, or a repeated pattern? Judy notes four layoffs in eight years is concerning.
  • Chelsea: “She’s not lying around. She’s not a drug addict. She’s not a drunk... You have to figure out a different approach...” (54:46)
  • Judy: “You can’t control other people... If you want more money... you have to shift the focus onto yourself.” (56:50 & 57:36)
  • Both emphasize support, communication, exploring therapy, and changing mindsets—rather than abandoning the relationship, especially when kids are involved.
  • Chelsea: “Sometimes you’re going to be pulling the cart. Sometimes she’s going to be pulling the cart. You guys are doing this together.” (57:32)

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6. Judy on Family, Only Children, and Marriage Decisions

• Judy shares stories about being an only child, her mother’s resilience (including surviving a gunshot), family similarities, and Ohio roots (25:42-29:22).
• Discussion about differences in family dynamics, conflict resolution, and people-pleasing tendencies.
  • Judy: “I’m terrible at fighting. ...I think that’s wrong, and I think it shouldn’t be that way. But that, I think, is something maybe that is an only child thing.” (29:36)
• On marriage: Judy didn’t believe in “love at first sight,” but recounts the trajectory of meeting her husband—a “good dad”—and learning to appreciate chemistry without pressure to prescribe meaning or destiny (30:24-34:11).

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7. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You have all the responsibility and none of the authority." — Judy Greer on step-parenthood (21:33)
• "Women who want their babies get their babies, man." — Judy Greer (25:13)
• "Sometimes you’re going to be pulling the cart. Sometimes she’s going to be pulling the cart. You guys are doing this together." — Chelsea Handler (57:32)
• "I'm terrible at fighting...a fight means a fight, and it needs to be dealt with and talked about, and you have to go to therapy about it." — Judy Greer (29:39)
• "The best way to change people is by changing yourself." — Chelsea Handler (61:43)
• Judy recounts how Emma Thompson models kindness, boundaries, and not being “afraid of being disliked”—a role model for women who people-please (73:55-74:37).

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8. Timestamps for Key Segments

• Wellness, hormones, supplements: 04:27-06:32
• Judy Greer joins / aging & career: 09:01-13:13
• "The Long Walk" & new movie chat: 13:17-14:52
• Stepmotherhood and marriage: 21:23-25:13
• Sober living & Gen Z shifts: 19:20-20:55
• Only child & family dynamics: 25:42-29:36
• Dating and chemistry: 30:24-34:11
• Listener Q1: Dating a Trump voter: 41:53-47:56
• Listener Q2: Breadwinner wife unemployed: 48:13-66:41
• Closing reflections & Emma Thompson: 73:55-74:38

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Takeaways

• Judy and Chelsea bring sincere warmth, vulnerability, and humor to tough family questions.
• Step-parenting, sobriety, and reconciling life’s expectations are recurring themes.
• The advice segment is both practical and compassionate, never black-or-white.
• Memorable lesson: In relationships, when in doubt, focus on changing yourself and on clear communication—there are rarely simple answers, but there are always steps forward.

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Transcript

[Chelsea Handler]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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Oh, hello, Chelsea.

I'm fresh off of Canada. I went to Tofina for the weekend. It was so beautiful there, so nice.

And it didn't look like a man in sight.

There was. I didn't see a lot of men there. It was mostly women. I went with some girlfriends and we saw some other girlfriends while we were there and so gloomy and rainy, which I love. And on the beach and there was a surfing competition, peak something. And I ran around in my rain boots and bathing suit and we just had such a nice time. And Canada is so peaceful. Yeah, Canada is very, very peaceful. I just came from my OB GYN and apparently the estrogen pack that I've been taking is empty. I have no estrogen and I have no testosterone.

[Judy Greer]

Oh, great.

[Chelsea Handler]

So there is a reason that I. My words are not making any sense these days. I am overwhelmed with stress for my students. Stupid house. And I am not on the right hormones and I am in menopause so I have to get my shit together.

Well, at least you know now so you can get it all regulated. Yes, but people have been also asking about the supplements you use for mental acuity.

And I know there's ironic considering. Okay, so I do take NMN pills everybody. Those are good for your like, you know, nad. I was injecting nad, but my doctor told me not to inject nad that there was all these studies that came out that NAD causes cancer or there's like some correlation to NAD and cancer. So I'm not doing that anymore. I'm taking the NMN pills. The peptides I take are tessamorelin. I take GHK, Cu Copper and I take tirzepatide, which has a little NAD. So it's not an overwhelming amount of NAD. So that's what I do. And that's the like GLP1. Like that's for weight management, really. I know I'm not overweight, but I just take it to take the edge off of food so I don't go into my hotel room and eat out the mini bar. And not that I eat out mini bars, but I eat out of mini bars.

I did like that phrasing.

But something that's really good to take is Prodrome Neuro. That's something I take for mental acuity. I take iron every day. I take vitamin D every day. I take CoQ10, which is really important if you're taking any sort of statin, which I also take because I have genetically bad cholesterol.

It's good for heart health.

Yeah, it is. It's good for heart health and it's good for brain health. And then I take creatine, which is. You can get that anywhere. Like I take that from Erewhon. I think mine is from my brain juice. Is. It's just called brain juice. It's. Cause I don't really drink coffee. So I just take a shot of that when I wake up and throughout the day when I need a little pick me up. And then DHEA is important for its protein, to maintain protein.

I'm taking that.

Yeah.

And it can raise your testosterone levels.

Oh, can it?

[Judy Greer]

Okay, good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Cause I haven't really been taking that. And for the gratitude journal. I only use the gratitude journal in my. I know people are asking what I'm using. I use the one in my phone so that I. It's called. What is this called?

It just says journal. But you know what? I think this is something you can really just do on your own. You can put it even in your notes app. You can write it into a journal. I'll find a couple that are highly recommended and put links to them in the description. But yeah, it's really just about writing out what you're thankful for, what's bringing. I heard this recently too. Which is what's bringing joy into your life. Like what brought joy into your life today.

Doug. Doug had a handkerchief on when I came home from Tofino. So Ma Belle did that for me special and he was really ready to get down with it when I got home last night. And I was not ready to get down with it. I was ready to go to fucking sleep. And I got into bed at 7 o', clock, I took a Xanax and went straight to bed. So I'm trying to take less Xanax, but it doesn't seem to be working. So I don't know, you can follow my habits or not. I mean, you're on your own. Everybody.

And obviously everybody, talk to your doctor before you take any of these, you know.

Yes, I'm not a doctor, everybody. Even though I say I am, I'm not. I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting debuting my new material. Well, I've already started debuting my new material, but in an organized tour form in February of next year. So I'm coming to Washington, D.C. norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio. Denver, Colorado Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California Monterey, California, Modesto, California and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. Pre sale started last week, so tickets are flying. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these. So go get your tickets now if you want good seats and you want to come see me perform. I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Okay. Our guest today is in two brand new movies. She's in. Well, you know her from every movie. She's in so many things. Stephen King's the Long Walk and Dead of Winter with Emma Thompson. Please welcome Judy Greer. I'm wearing my sunglasses because I forgot my regular glasses and they're pushing me.

[Judy Greer]

I was doing that all day yesterday.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, we're 50. You're 52 now.

[Judy Greer]

I'm 50 and I had to do it yesterday and I was like, where? Oh, no, it was Sunday. I was getting a massage. So I'm like sitting in the massage room in sunglasses.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know sometimes I'm at a restaurant at night and all I have are my prescription sunglasses and I'm just like, I'm such a loser. But we're just 50 years old and that's the way our lives are now. I'm talking to Judy Greer, who has graced us with her presence today because she. Hello? Hello, Judy. How are you?

[Judy Greer]

Taking a sip of some Diet Coke. I'm really good. Good for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Good for you.

[Judy Greer]

It's all gone. I won't do that again.

[Chelsea Handler]

I just want to go through a list of your credits just because you're in so many things that I had to say. Okay. You've seen her in Jawbreaker, what Women Want, the Wedding Planner Adaptation, Just Shoot Me the Village, Elizabethtown, My name is Earl, 27 dresses, er, 13 going on 30 house, Archer, modern Family, the Big Bang Theory, Marmaduke Love and Other Drugs, Arrested Development. And it goes on and on and on and on. She has a total of 150 TV and movie credits to her name. And now she is here to promote two projects. One is called the Long Walk, which is a Stephen King movie based on the book. And the other one is called the Dead of Winter. I watched the Long Walk last night. You did? Yes, I did.

[Judy Greer]

I'm proud of you.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was dystopian.

[Judy Greer]

I know. That's good.

[Chelsea Handler]

How would you. How would you. First of all, congratulations on your career.

[Judy Greer]

Oh, thanks.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, you've been in so many things. I've known you since I was.

[Judy Greer]

When?

[Chelsea Handler]

From when I just started watching tv. You were always around. I mean, I've just known your face forever. I do.

[Judy Greer]

And you're like.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, you talk about being kind of a character actor, but are you a character actor?

[Judy Greer]

I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean. Yeah. What does that mean anymore?

[Judy Greer]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't understand, like, that. Aren't we all character actors? Aren't they all acting like characters? Like, I think that's a funny description. It just means that you're not the star, that's all. I ever. Whenever someone's like, oh, supporting. Oh, character. I'm like, okay, sure, I'll take it. But, yes. I've been around for a long time. We both have been around. We've been like, we. We made it.

[Chelsea Handler]

We did.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, we can say that.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's true.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're 50.

[Judy Greer]

We're 50.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we're alive. And we're still working.

[Judy Greer]

We're still alive. We're still working. I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's incredible. I'm still single. But you got married.

[Judy Greer]

I did it. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Were you dating somebody that I worked with for a while, so.

[Judy Greer]

Were you ever in a show called Girls Behavior? Yes, yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Judy Greer]

So one of the producers of that show, or writers of that show was a man, he still is named. I had so many comments. But I decided not to say any of them. Dumb comments. Okay. Nicholas Thomas, and he was one of. I can't remember if he.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is he a producer?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

On Girls Behaving Badly.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. And he wrote sketches for you guys to do. And I remember. I mean, nothing against the rest of the cast, but he would come home from work and talk about you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, I like that.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

He always talked about you. And he talked about how great you were and how special you were and how you were, like, really different and really special and really funny, but also, like, I don't know. I really hate when people say, like, you get it. She gets it. But he wouldn't have said it back then, because now they say it, but like, that you kind of. We're different in a good way. And so I feel like you've always been on my radar.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, well.

[Judy Greer]

Have we never met before? I can't remember because I'm 50.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, but you know what? Neither can I. I can never remember whether or not I met. So let's just assume that we have.

[Judy Greer]

I probably. I'm sure that we did.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sure I interviewed you on one of my talk shows at some point.

[Judy Greer]

Yes, I'm sure of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I like what you say about. I mean, I don't know when you said it, but you were talking about character acting and that saying that there are no small roles, which is, you know, which.

[Judy Greer]

I came up with that. I invented that phrase.

[Chelsea Handler]

But you did say if you do enough small roles. Well, enough that you are going to have a career.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And because the. The original line is, there are no small roles. There are only small actors, which is also, you know, a very old saying. There she goes.

[Judy Greer]

Did I ruin everything? Audio?

[Chelsea Handler]

Not at all.

[Judy Greer]

Okay, good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you happy?

[Judy Greer]

First of all, let's talk about lower to the ground. Yes, a little bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

Of course. Get as low to the ground as you want. You tell me, how do you describe the long walk?

[Judy Greer]

It's not a comedy. Sometimes if you don't know what you want, you can try, like, to figure out what you don't want. That's what I told my stepson the other day. I'm like, honey, sometimes if you don't know exactly what you want, you just, like, figure out what you don't want. And that's a good way in. So it's not a comedy. The long walk is. How would I describe it? I mean, it's. I feel like maybe it's a psychological horror movie.

[Chelsea Handler]

They're both a Little bit psychologically. Horror movies, both of them.

[Judy Greer]

Yes, they are. Yes. And they're. And I play really different roles in both of them. But the long Walk, I mean, I think it's really beautiful, actually. I don't know what your experience was. I don't know what it's like to watch it at home, because I'm assuming you watched it at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, like, you can kind of lose yourself in a theater. And I think it would be a little bit. I don't know, maybe it would be.

[Chelsea Handler]

Harder at home on humanity, on friendship.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. I mean, what was beautiful about it was the connection that they made these boys and sort of the grace with which they allowed each other to go and the fear of the future. And, you know, like, you could kind of like throw anything on top of that movie and get, you know, like, whatever you're feeling, you could probably pull that theme out of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. Are you attracted to movies like this? Cause they're both kind of in the same. Not the same kind of movie, same genre.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, I think so. I think I am. I mean, I'm excited to do, like, different stuff.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

And these were both really different for me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Have you ever been bored as an actor when you were doing something? I mean, you don't have to name a movie or a show.

[Judy Greer]

Well, then, yes, I don't have to name it then. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And what do you do when you don't feel, like, revved up for the part? How do you get yourself up? How do you get it up? So to speak?

[Judy Greer]

There's so many pills for that that I think. Well, I think I always have fun. I'm really not just saying that. I always have fun at work. And I always enjoy at least one person I'm at work with. There's someone on a set that I'm going to connect with that's going to be fun. Usually there's a lot of people on a set that I like, but sometimes you just have to pick your person, and then I make it fun for that. If the role's not fun, if the role's hard, if the role. Some of the people are hard, if the job is hard, like, I can find something to be excited about.

[Chelsea Handler]

Have you ever walked off a job?

[Judy Greer]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Judy Greer]

I mean, like, I think I would drop dead. I can't even imagine, really. Have you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. What, multiple times? I once was hosting this show. Steven Spielberg had created it. It was like a reality show, but it was created by Steven Spielberg, and it was about finding the next big like, filmmaker or director or something along those lines. Like, it was a cerebral version of a reality show. And they offered me, like, they just kept throwing things at me to make me host it. I'm like, I'm not a host of reality shows. Like, I'm a talk show host. It's not the same thing. Like, I'm taking the piss out of everything. I'm not here to be like, go, Jeremy, tell me, how was it? I don't have that Ryan Seacrest kind of vibe. You know, he has that, and he does it well. And then I did it, and it was a disaster. Like, I mean, it was like I had. Couldn't read a prompter and be, like, genuine.

[Judy Greer]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean? I have to, like, ad lib and I have to be myself. And then there was these big producers that worked for Steve Spielberg. And then, like, two weeks in, I was like, I have to stop this. I go, you guys have to replace me. I go, this is uncomfortable for all of us. I'm not good at this. I don't want to do it.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And they're like, you can't say no to Steven Spielberg. My reps were like, you can't. Da, da, da. I'm like, steven Spielberg is going to thank me for getting me. She wants me. Yes, yes, yes, yes. An out so he doesn't have to fire me. So that, yeah, I walked away from that job. But that would have been a humiliation if I had followed through with it.

[Judy Greer]

And did they reshoot everything with you that you'd already shot?

[Chelsea Handler]

I think they reshot it. Or maybe they used some of it. I think they used some of it. And then. I don't know. I wasn't really following it closely after I collapsed.

[Judy Greer]

And nobody knows what it is, so I know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't even remember what it's called.

[Judy Greer]

I did once get fired from something that I felt I was miscast. Like when I auditioned for, like, the. The female lead of the movie, and I didn't get it. But then they were like, oh, but we love you, and we want you to play this smaller role. And I was really young and I was starting out, so I was like, oh, my God, of course. And I just knew. Like, I knew without knowing because I was young. Like, now I would know, but I knew without knowing that I was wrong. When I got to set, like, the words were really hard for me to memorize. Like, the scene was really hard. Like, no one was happy on set. Like, we were all trying to sort of, like, figure it out, like, why isn't this working? And I knew it was me. And then I home that night, and I got a call from my agent that I was fired. And I was like, I had my ego. 10 minutes of like. Right. But I was like, thank fucking God. Because, like, you don't want to be bad in something, right? Like, no. Like, it wasn't meant to be.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, it wasn't meant to be. Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

And there's a scene, because I shot two scenes that day, like, my big, big scene. And then this, like, scene where I was just in a limousine with the main character. And. And so I'm still in the limousine. They didn't reshoot that. They didn't cut me out of that. So it just looks like the main character had as a silent friend. Like, if you watch an Extra. Yeah, I was at Extra. I was like, it's Toni Collette. She's in the limousine. She plays this movie star. And I'm like, I was supposed to be, I think, like her agent or the movie producer. I don't even remember. But now I'm just like one of Toni Collette's sort of passes.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's like a part of her coterie.

[Judy Greer]

Yes, right. Right in the back of the limousine.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I want to say congrats on turning 50, because I turned 50 this year. When's your birthday?

[Judy Greer]

July 20th.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, July 20th. So you're going to be 51 this year.

[Judy Greer]

No, I just turned 50. Because we're in September.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're in mid September. Thank you. Sorry. I keep asking what month it is. It's so confusing right now.

[Judy Greer]

It's really hard. And you've got your sunglasses.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's so hard to keep track of time.

[Judy Greer]

I know. Time is. It just changed during the pandemic. Like, it'll never be the same.

[Chelsea Handler]

Did you quit drinking after the pandemic? I read that somewhere during the.

[Judy Greer]

Well, 20. 22. So during.

[Chelsea Handler]

So during the pandemic. Because, I mean, everyone drank too much during the pandemic, and then they quit drinking.

[Judy Greer]

I know, but everyone I know went back to it. I did not.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. You know, I did the reverse. I didn't drink very much in the beginning of the pandemic because I was like, well, that's killing. I mean, I did mushrooms and other things. Yeah. I did lots of drugs, but no drinking because I was alone. And then when my family moved in, that. When I started. That's when I hit the bottle.

[Judy Greer]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hard. Yeah. When they started, when they morphed with me. But so many people have Gotten sober since the pandemic?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you sober or are you just, like, sober? Really?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, wow.

[Judy Greer]

I just decided to start saying that, actually.

[Chelsea Handler]

Really?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

That seems to be going around. And I'm not saying, like, saying it.

[Judy Greer]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not saying that it's trendy.

[Judy Greer]

I'm just saying that it's fine to be trendy.

[Chelsea Handler]

A lot of people are sober in la, and a lot of people are sober from the pandemic.

[Judy Greer]

Some people. Someone who was I talking to, someone I was talking to owns a pizzeria pizza place in LA and said that, like, so much of the business was drinks in a pizza place. And now that nobody's drinking, it's like restaurants are kind of getting fucked because they, like, made so much of their money. Like, I've heard this before when you charge like, 15, $20 for a cocktail, but it's like $15 for a pizza.

[Chelsea Handler]

But is it just LA or is it all over?

[Judy Greer]

I don't go places anymore.

[Chelsea Handler]

You don't leave la?

[Judy Greer]

I don't know. I. I don. But I mean, there is a definite.

[Chelsea Handler]

Younger generation that are not drinking. Like, they're. They're just.

Gen Z is, like, not drinking at all.

Yeah. Yeah, they don't drink. So that. That's definitely having an impact, too. Maybe because our generation, we're heavy drinkers, and then everyone is getting sober at a certain age. That's my experience. I'm not sober, though.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I have no intention of becoming sober.

[Judy Greer]

Don't do it. So nobody wants you sober.

[Chelsea Handler]

I want. That's right. Thank you for saying that. Thank you for saying that. So I didn't have to. I want to talk about your. You being a stepmom, because I feel like that's the clutch role. Like, if you're gonna.

[Judy Greer]

That's a real character.

[Chelsea Handler]

If you're gonna be. Yeah, seriously. If you're gonna be in a relationship with children, it's great to be once removed.

[Judy Greer]

I had a therapist at the time when I met them, who was told. She told me, oh, it's so hard. It's so hard. And I was like, okay, well, easy. And she's like, I'm a therapist saying that. And she said. She goes, because you have all the responsibility and none of the authority. And I was like, yeah. And I don't feel that now my kids are old. But, like, when they were young, you are like. You're like a babysitter extra sometimes. Like, I can't make them do right. But. But there was a lot of conversations at Night in bed, where I'm like, you need to do this. You know, Because I didn't really want to be the bad guy. It's not fair to make me the bad guy.

[Chelsea Handler]

Telling your husband that he needs to do so.

[Judy Greer]

Like, I had to force him to be the bad guy sometimes.

[Chelsea Handler]

And what was your situation when you guys were gonna. You guys met and then you did. You got married?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

We didn't live together.

[Judy Greer]

We had two houses, and we tried.

[Chelsea Handler]

Should keep. Yeah, I mean, everyone should have two houses, if you can.

[Judy Greer]

It was so great. But now we just have the one we live. I mean, we rent out. So we had his house, which was in Thousand Oaks, and my house, which was and still is in. In Hollywood. And so we kind of went back and forth, or there were nights where I just, like, stayed at my house. That was so great. But also, I travel so much for work that I'm already gone a lot. You know what I mean? Like, I wasn't, like, moving in and, like, okay, everyone, like, family time. Like, I was in and out so much that I think it would have been shitty if I was like, these are the new rules, people, and I'm gonna go for two months. So we would have his kids every other week. And so we would stay at his house in Thousand Oaks the week we had the kids. And then we would go to my house most of the time when we didn't. But in the very beginning, when we were just dating, I would be, like, excited for our weekend without the kids. And he would be like, not because of anything with the kids. Just, like, it's a new relationship. So then he. I would say, like, what are we gonna do this weekend? And he'd be like, oh, Lucas has a baseball game. And I'm like, yeah, but it's not your weekend. He's like, yeah, but I'm still his dad. And so I realized, like, oh, man, I'm, like, dating the good dad. Like, I'm not even d. I've, like, chosen a really, like, genuinely good person who's like.

[Chelsea Handler]

Which is sexy until you have them. You're like, I wanna. I wanna get it, you know, I wanna meet somebody who's a really good father. And then you meet them and they're not your kids. And you're like, well, whoa, this isn't how I imagined it.

[Judy Greer]

And then you're, like, so hungover at the soccer field, like, eating McDonald's out of the bag and then throwing up in the. Just kidding. I never barfed. Of course not at the game. But, yeah, it was crazy. Like, then the weekends, we didn't have the kids. We were like, we're still in. We're still going to those games. But we are definitely in dark sunglasses.

[Caller Charlotte]

Definitely.

[Judy Greer]

Like, whoa, here we are. Yeah. But it was. It was good. It taught me a lot about relationships and obviously parenting and. And his kids are so great. They still are so great. It influenced my decision to not have one of my own.

[Chelsea Handler]

It did. Influence.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. I was. I was never like, I've got to have a baby. I need a baby. Like, this life is a baby. But I was always like, well, like, I mean, isn't that what you do? Don't you get married and have a baby? I'm, like, really pretty basic. And so when I met him and his kids were great, and everything was going really well, and I was working a lot, and it was like, shit. My gynecologist was like, what's the plan, dude? Like, you're not. You know. So then I thought a lot about it, like, for two years. And then I was talking to this girlfriend on the phone, and she said. I was like, oh, I have to decide. I really need to figure this out or I need to freeze my eggs or whatever. And she was like, dude, you don't want a baby. And I was like, how do you know? You barely know me. She did, but she was like, women who want their babies get their babies, man.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly.

[Judy Greer]

They just do. She's like, you're married. You love him. You're crazy about him. You'd have two babies right now if you wanted a baby.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, Exactly.

[Judy Greer]

She's like, you don't want a baby.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's so funny that no matter how not present that thought is at the front of your mind, we always have it in the back of our minds because of, like, society, as long as we want something that we're basically arguing with, just a rule that was.

[Judy Greer]

Made, you know, someone else made it for other people that aren't us. It was hard for me to reprogram my brain into that. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was reading some stuff about you and your mom and that you have all these kind of weird things in common, Right? Like your mom was shot in the chest, and you have a scar where she was shot. Whose mom has been shot in the chest?

[Judy Greer]

I know. Well, she's from Ohio. What happened to her? So maybe a lot of people's moms in.

[Chelsea Handler]

In Ohio?

[Judy Greer]

Oh, no. It was a big old accident.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, no, obviously. But isn't it so. Well, yeah. I mean. And she survived and she survived.

[Judy Greer]

She was a grown bitch when she was 11 and her brother was like, I am with you. That's a terrible thing to say.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, it's funny. And. But then you have the scar on your chest.

[Judy Greer]

I do. I showed her once, and she was so freaked out. She wasn't like, oh, my God. She was like, oh, but is it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like a birthmark or did you have little.

[Judy Greer]

It's like, like, right. She was shot, like, right next to her heart. You know, they're. Oh, there's always this story, like, if it would have been one right half of a millimeter closer anyway, yada, yada. But my. Mine is like a tiny little. Little tiny. Just like hers. Like, little bump. Like a little round bump, like where the bullet went in. I have the same.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you believe in anything related to that?

[Judy Greer]

Like, that.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's.

[Judy Greer]

Yes, I do.

[Chelsea Handler]

What do you believe?

[Judy Greer]

I don't know what I believe, but I believe it's special. Yeah, but I don't really have, like, a. Well, it's because of this. Or, like, can I lay my stones out on the table? Like, I'm not that. But I do think, like, I have to. And I want to choose to believe that there's something bigger than us and that maybe it is special. I mean, it doesn't mean that she and I, like, don't fight a lot. Like, we got in an argument this morning on the phone because she's annoying, because she needs help and she won't ask for it. And I wouldn't say this because she doesn't really know how to listen to a podcast. I don't think so.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's too bad. This is an advice podcast. We're about to take callers and she could have called in.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. So part of the fun thing about getting older is that your parents are also getting older, and they also require things from us, too. So. So we were talking about that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is she in Ohio still?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, she's in Ohio. There was like, they. She's from Ohio. She and my dad got married. They had me. This all happened in Michigan. And then when they retired, they moved back to Ohio, and they live in this small town called Cary, Ohio. Go blue demons. And most of her family's is still there. So I have, like, loads of cousins and second cousins and aunts and uncles and, well, not as many uncles anymore, but they're all still there. And so it sucks that she's so far away, that my parents are both so far away, but it's great because there's family there. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you're an only child, right?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

How did you like that experience?

[Judy Greer]

I mean, it's awesome compared to growing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Up with a bunch of brothers.

[Judy Greer]

All I saw was my friends getting the beat out of them all the time. And I was like, how. But now at this age, I'm like, oh, it would be nice to have some siblings. Yeah. Yeah. What's the.

[Chelsea Handler]

The rap on only children? Is that they're supposed to be spoiled. Is that it? Spoiled or odd, right?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, I think so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Odd. I had a girlfriend when I grew up, Heather, and she was an only child, and I loved going to her house because it was, like, peaceful. It was so organized. Like, her parents were so, like, straight, you know? And my house was just a fucking hot mess of children and people running in and out. Food on the table.

[Judy Greer]

Humanity.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, humanity. Like dirty underwear in the living room. Just gross, you know? And I remember going to her house, and I think her mom was actually a librarian, and it felt like that. And I just would be like, God, this is so. And then. Yeah. And then, you know, a couple more times I went over and I'm like, mm, this is kind of boring. But it wasn't a reflection of her. It was just a reflection of the orderliness and that I kind of exist better in chaos.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. I enjoyed going to the chaotic houses. Yeah. I was, like, totally freaked out by them. Couldn't wait to go home, but, like, also kind of, like, sought it out. I was like, wow, like, you. You just punched a person like a human in the face.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

You guys are, like, laughing about a thing that mom said. Yeah, I don't. I. I'm not. I don't want to speak for every only child, but, like, I'm terrible at fighting. I'm really bad at conflict because I didn't have to have. I never had that conflict. And then you just, like, have to sit around the table and laugh afterward. Like, I. Like, a fight means a fight, and it needs to be dealt with and talked about, and you have to go to therapy about it and, like, all the things, like, it's a big deal to me. I think that's wrong, and I think it shouldn't be that way. But that, I think, is something maybe that is an only childy thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

You think what?

[Judy Greer]

You.

[Chelsea Handler]

The way that you handle conflict is wrong?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, I think it's okay to fight. I think we have to be allowed to, like, you know, get in fights and then get over it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And kind of recover.

[Judy Greer]

Right. And recover and move on and still, like, like, have love in your heart for that person.

[Chelsea Handler]

So do you remember the moment that you decided that you wanted to marry your husband?

[Judy Greer]

It was pretty early on, but I don't remember, like, exactly the moment.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it love at first sight?

[Judy Greer]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you believe in that?

[Judy Greer]

No.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Judy Greer]

I believe in lust at first sight or, like, a strong chemistry. But the older I get, I feel like. I feel chemistry with all kinds of different people. And just because I feel chemistry with someone doesn't mean that we have to be lovers, be friends, spend one extra minute together.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, well, that's another thing that we've been fed. Like, this idea of chemistry, lust, love at first sight. Like everything's some sort of romantic fairy tale.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's not like that at all. And it also doesn't give you a nuanced view of the world. Whereas you can have a soulmate that's your sister or your friend in the same sense that a soulmate can be a lover or your mother or something. Like, it doesn't. Everything is so. Always seems so wrapped up in, like, sex.

What does it all mean?

[Judy Greer]

You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

Everything is a means to an end. Together. Get to have sex. Yeah. To sex and love to get to have sex.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. Or, like, acceptance or something. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

So tell me about when you met your husband.

[Judy Greer]

What were you gonna say? Well, I was gonna say it wasn't. And he says the same exact thing, by the way. He's like, no, it wasn't love at first sight. I was happy he was tall because I wanted to wear high heels on our first date. And I did.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was a blind date.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, it was, like, super blind for me. Like, I opened the front door.

[Chelsea Handler]

Your mother also met your father on a blind date. Right.

[Judy Greer]

That's why I was like.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that's another thing that you got.

[Judy Greer]

Party with that. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Got it.

[Judy Greer]

I was like, well, I don't know. It works. It could work out. And he and I were talking on the phone, so, like, I knew kind of who he was. And then he felt bad because he's like, well, I know what you look like, and you don't know what I look like. Do you want me to send you a picture? Because I didn't have, like, Facebook or any of that bullshit. And I was like, nah, it's weird. I don't. If I look. What if I look at a picture of him and, like.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then get grossed out?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, I'd rather be grossed out. Right to his face when I open the front door. I'd Rather open the front door and. And have, like, my very non Poker face. Be like, oh, you're down there, right? Or whatever. Like, yeah. So I said, no, no, it's fine. I liked him so much. He was so nice and so funny and also, like, kind of dark and, like, enough dark and enough weird that, like, he's not boring, but also, like, nice. And he drove a Prius, which to me felt like, oh, he cares about the environment. And I liked that, too. And so we went on many fun dates and did lots of fun things. But it was probably about a month in when I was like, oh, I love you. And I kept saying, I have very strong feelings for you. I have very strong feelings for you, too. And then. This is a crazy thing. I had drinks and told him I loved him when I'd been drinking. Like, that's never happened before to anyone in the history of love. So I was the first person to get drunk and say, I love you first. And then he also was drunk, which was weird.

[Chelsea Handler]

Weird.

[Judy Greer]

And he said it, too.

[Chelsea Handler]

People especially drunk together is weird.

[Judy Greer]

I know. Like, two drunk people. Anyway, so then the next morning, when we were no longer drunk, I was like, I did mean what I said. And he was like, me, too. It was cute. And we did. We really did. Like, it was fast. And then even two months after that. So now we're dating for, like, three or four months. We went on a vacation to Italy together, and my girlfriend Janet was like, you better get a manicure. I'm like, shut up. Really? And she's like, get a manicure. I'm like, ah. So I get a manicure. And like, every day we're in a more romantic, beautiful place in Florence, and I'm like. And then it was, like, the last day, and we're sitting on this bridge over the river drinking, like, out of the bottle of Italian red wine. And I'm just like, you're not gonna ask me to marry you, are you? And he was like, no. What are you talking about? It's been four months. I'm a father. That would just be irresponsible. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Totally insane.

[Judy Greer]

And I'm like, well, it wasn't me. It was Janet. It was Janet's fault. He's like, have you been thinking that every time there's been, like, a moment? And I'm like, yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wonder what guys think about when they think about that pressure. Like, I was in Mallorca last summer, and I saw outside of my window on the beach, this couple and this guy proposing to her right and it was. They had. They were prepared. Cause there were photographers and stuff. And he's down on his knee on this, like, little rock, you know, Little rock thing. What are. The jetty. And then he got up, and I was about to do this interview for something. And I said, I wonder what a man feels like after he proposes and they say yes.

[Judy Greer]

Is he like, yeah, motherfucker.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, I. Like. I wonder what they're. Because women are so. We're so wrapped up.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

With regard to a proposal and our own thoughts and feelings. That we're never, ever thinking about what a man feels like or what the pressure that he must be under.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

He must be fucking freaking out. Or. Some men are hopefully wondering if you're gonna say yes or if you're gonna say no. And then when I got on the phone with this reporter who was interviewing me, I told him. And he goes, what do you think a man thinks about? I go, I've never thought what men are thinking about. It really never occurred to me to think about what men are thinking about. I have too much going on.

[Judy Greer]

You know, it's really busy. I feel the same way. When you were telling this story, I was like, are we supposed to be thinking about what men think about?

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't think so. They're certainly not thinking about what we're doing. I mean, some of them are. Not all of them. I mean, there are some very good men out there. And if you're a straight man listening, you're one of those people. Because our audience is not for straight men. But I'm glad that you found a good husband, and I'm glad that you've, like. I like the idea of a stepmother for the reasons we've already explained and for many reasons. Various reasons I've spoken about on this show. But the other thing that I love is having an influence, like a positive influence on a younger person is a very rewarding feeling. Do you feel that way? Do you feel like you've imprinted upon them? Some.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, they tell me I have in, like, really lovely birthday cards and Christmas cards and Mother's Day cards. Yeah, they definitely do. And I feel that. And I even, like, see it sometimes in little things here and there. Like. Like. I don't know. I'm really into tiny little dishes. And I see them around, like, I buy them obsessively for my stepdaughter. And I'll see them, like, around her apartment. And, like. I don't know. I. I'm not gonna, like, take credit for everything. I Want to, but, but like, I, I think it's in there. Yeah. I don't know. But, like, they also, like, their mom is great. Their grandmother is fucking awesome. Like, they're are. They're surrounded by some really great people.

[Chelsea Handler]

And has your husband ever said thank you?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

For.

[Judy Greer]

Oh, my God, For. Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Helping.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. Yeah, all the time. He's like, you made me such a better parent.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's. See, like, those are the kinds of things I love to hear about.

[Judy Greer]

It also made him a better dog parent because he never walked his dog.

[Chelsea Handler]

I should be just like, back, I never walked my dog.

Well, someone does.

I can't. Well, yeah, somebody does. Is it different? I mean, it is.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, but the dog. We have a dog door. I'm like, are you like, what's wrong with you? That's like, I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, that's what I like, is a big open door policy. You go in and out as you please. And I'll be open.

[Judy Greer]

If you hear the coyotes shattering about.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I always get dogs that are bigger than the coyotes and just hope for the best. You know what I mean?

[Judy Greer]

We're going to take a break.

[Chelsea Handler]

We're going to take a break with Judy Greer and we'll be right back. This episode is sponsored by better help. October 10th is World Mental Health Day. And this year, let's flip the script and focus the attention on thanking the therapists who have made an impact on people's lives. Seriously, thank you, therapists. You know how frequently I talk about the breakthroughs I've had in a therapist's office. And sometimes we know we need help. Other times we feel like we can pull ourselves up by our bootstraps. But talking to someone can help if there's something that keeps you up at night, Especially the right therapist can change everything. And BetterHelp has 12 years experience in matching people to the right therapist. BetterHelp therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US they do the initial matching work for you so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps identify your needs and preferences, and they typically get it right the first time. If you aren't happy with your match, switch to a different therapist at any time from their tailored recommendations. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com dearchelsea that's betterhelp.com dearchelsea.

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[Chelsea Handler]

Legends with a Z.com is a 100 free to play social casino and sports book spin slots, make live picks during the game and play live blackjack all from your couch. Slots, sports, original games. Legends has it all. It is free to play but you can win for real. Life's busy so take a break and dive into the fun. Legends with a Z.com legendary fun. Always free. Always so much fun. New users get a 100% bonus on their first purchase. Up to $100. No purchase necessary. Legends International void where prohibited by law 18 years or older Terms and conditions apply At Walgreens. We know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our flu info in a meditation keeping you calm.

[Judy Greer]

Just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do if you're a little needle nervous.

[Sponsor Voice]

So walk in or schedule an appointment.

[Judy Greer]

And Walgreens will handle the rest.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's the human kind of help.

[Judy Greer]

Walgreens vaccine subject to availability, state, age.

[Sponsor Voice]

And health related restrictions may apply.

[Chelsea Handler]

And we're back with Judy.

We're back.

[Judy Greer]

We are.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you ready to get down to business?

[Judy Greer]

Like I've always fantasized about this.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's this. It's a fan. It is. Yes. It's a true thing. And it's quite rewarding actually.

[Judy Greer]

I'm not saying, like I don't own the domain. Dear Judy Greer. I'm not saying that I don't own it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Were you a Dear Abby fan? Yeah, I loved Dear Abby. I loved it. And also that was only written, you know, like that was in the newspaper. It wasn't so there wasn't any way to expound. Cause you were. I was always, like, waiting for. I wanted more information. I wanted more back and forth and dialogue. So when we started this podcast, it was kind of in jest, and then it really actually became a serious thing. So now here we are giving bad advice to people all across the world.

Our first question comes from Erica. She says, help. I'm accidentally dating a Trump supporter.

[Judy Greer]

What?

[Chelsea Handler]

Dear Chelsea, I'm a Canadian living in in Los Angeles, and I'm in the music industry. I'm fiercely feminist and like Chelsea, have strong values and an even stronger relationship with the truth. Needless to say, it has been difficult living in America the last few years and especially the last few months. I've been single for a long, long time. A mix of prioritizing my career and dating and not finding the right or any eligible man. All of that changed recently when I started dating someone and there was a lot of promise. We have a great connection, and he was checking all of my boxes and everything was heading in the right direction. And then on Friday, we were on a date, and the conversation someh turn to politics. He told me that he voted for Trump last year. I was blindsided. There had been zero indication of this. I had a visceral reaction, but tried to engage in dialogue. I asked him why. He said he did it for economic and business reasons. When I asked him if he was in favor of equal rights, pro choice, etc. His response was an impassioned of course. We talked about immigration, women's rights, etc. And he said maybe he would feel differently if he was, quote, affected by those things. I asked him if he regretted his vote, and his response was no. To make matters even worse. Worse, he's Latino. I told him that this was difficult to digest for me because my values so strongly oppose those of the current administration and the Republican Party, which I widely regard to be a cult. I'm struggling to wrap my head around this. Well, I'm glad this came up before we got more serious, and I seriously had strong feelings invested. Good connections with men are few and far between, and there was something there. I'm struggling to reconcile the person I was getting to know with the person who would vote for Trump. So what would Chelsea do? Is this a walking red flag, and should I run as far as I can, or is there a way to move through this without abandoning my beliefs?

Erica, I mean, honestly, I would hate to say you can't date somebody that voted for Donald Trump, because I just feel like that is just so narrow minded. But right now, in the world that we're living in, it's just so ugly. This discourse, this. Everything that's happening is so unsettling and it's making life less pleasant, actively making life less pleasant. And I don't know, I don't know how you get around something like that when it's just such a value.

[Judy Greer]

But like, what is the end game? Is it like marriage and kids like we were talking about before?

[Chelsea Handler]

Sounds like it.

[Judy Greer]

Because if that's what someone's really looking for, then like, you have to really, like, put yourself like, cut to 10 years from now, and you've got like two kids at home and, and like, how are you gonna raise your kids together? Like, how are you. What values are you gonna instill in them? And that would worry me.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's one thing to have an open dialogue with somebody who disagrees with you vehemently and as opposed to you, when it's how divisive things have become. It's one thing to remain open to having a conversation with them. It's a whole other thing to be in a sexual relationship that is leading to hopefully a more serious relationship and possibly marriage and kids down the road. Then you kind of have to be like, well, a second.

[Judy Greer]

But what are your core values? What are like your actual, like, deep core values? And like, is he on a help podcast being like, oh my God, I'm so into this girl. And then I found out that she's a screaming liberal. And. But like, isn't this stuff on people's social media? Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Why isn't this still the first question you asked?

That's another thing. I mean. Well, not the first question. Did you vote for Trump? Is not a great opening.

[Judy Greer]

I think we're all learning something here about the questions. That's.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's true. You should, you should at some point, before things have gotten to the point they are, had a political conversation. So that's also, you know, kind of like something to think about moving forward. But yes, if you're looking for kids and family and a marriage, it's probably not this guy.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, there are those. There's a really famous political couple. What's the guy's name? He was on, like, Case talking.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know who you're talking about.

[Judy Greer]

He's on my husband's show a lot. I love him. A different version of Republican and Democrat. They're the old school version of conservatives and liberal. They're not Trump and everything else.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Judy Greer]

And I think there's a difference I think like having like liberal versus conservative values, I think that there's like a lot more conversation there. But like, for me it would be really hard to allow a person.

[Chelsea Handler]

And your reaction is. Your reaction, your reaction is that you felt like someone punched you in the gut like that. There you go. There's your reaction.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, if you're asking a question about it, then you're just like, maybe looking for someone to tell you it's okay because you know that it's not for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, maybe.

Yep. Let's move on.

Okay, Erica.

[Judy Greer]

I'm sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

Just like you need to move on, Erica.

Yeah, I know it's a bummer.

[Judy Greer]

Sucks.

[Chelsea Handler]

But there's so many. You know what? There are millions of people in this world and you will find another one that is, that shares the same values.

There's millions of people right here in Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah.

[Judy Greer]

It's hard to date here.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know it is hard to date in Los Angeles, but it's okay. It's hard to date and it's hard to date, period, for a lot of people.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, it was very like courageous of him to be honest with her.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was it? Yeah.

Maybe the thing for me is like, oh, I just didn't think about how it would affect other people. That to me is kind of a deal breaker amongst all of this.

[Judy Greer]

Or.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, that it doesn't affect me.

[Judy Greer]

Would you do it again?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like me then turning back. Roe v. Wade doesn't affect me because I'm fucking 50. It affects.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

People you care about.

Yeah, that I, you know, like I care about what happens to other women.

[Judy Greer]

But that's even like a bigger conversation because that is even like about the whole idea of women's healthcare.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Judy Greer]

So like Roe v. Wade, like abortion is one issue in the big, huge umbrella of women's health care that they like, can start to fucking chip away at. And that's why it is so scary. I think it's not just about, like taking away our right to an abortion. If you look at the statistics, I know at Planned Parenthood it's like less than 5% of what they do is that. But it's going to start to chip away at all the other healthcare that's provided for women who need it. And that's when it's really scary. And that's why it is. Small minded.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, small minded. You're not thinking about all the other things that go along with, with that.

[Judy Greer]

We could. Yeah, we could continue.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. I don't want to talk about it.

[Judy Greer]

You do what you need to do. But that's what we think.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Well, our next question comes from Charlotte.

Is this a caller?

This is a caller.

Okay, we need to put our headphones. Oh, gee.

[Judy Greer]

Okay. Do you know how to move?

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you know how to use headphones?

[Judy Greer]

I watched a YouTube video. Great.

[Chelsea Handler]

She says, Dear Chelsea, I could use some honest advice. I'm feeling like a bad wife, but I'm finding it incredibly hard to be a strong and supportive partner in my current situation.

This is another stronger.

[Judy Greer]

No, no.

[Chelsea Handler]

My wife and I have been together for eight years, married for six and we have a one year old daughter. She lost her job last year and has been actively searching and applying for any and all jobs, connecting with friends and family to see if they have any connections, recruiters or anyone in our network. I've even gotten her some interviews, but for one reason or another, nothing has worked out. She's always been the breadwinner in our relationship, proudly so. And she used to cover most of our expenses. Vacations, nice dinners, all of it. Now that she's not making money, her confidence has clearly taken a toll and I can see her losing motivation. I've tried to love on her and lift her up, but I'm feeling frustrated and burnt out. This isn't the first time she's lost her job or been laid off. This is the fourth time in our relationship with large gaps of unemployment. I'm 31 and I want to live. Right now we're living paycheck to paycheck on my income and while I can almost cover us, I don't want this to be our new normal. I love her deeply and don't want to leave, but I also feel like I can't keep living like this. I've even considered moving out temporarily to give us both some space. But that also costs money and I don't want to take her daughter away from her. Some other good info to have. She takes care of our daughter full time, except on Mondays and Wednesdays when I pay for daycare to give her time to job hunt. We have a 21 year age gap and we aren't getting any younger. And I'm dying to have another kid. I can't even think about that until she's working again. Please help me. Ladies. What do I do? Charlotte.

Hi, Charlotte.

[Judy Greer]

Hi, Charlotte.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is our special guest, Judy Greer. Say hello.

[Judy Greer]

Hi.

[Caller Charlotte]

Oh my God, this is so exciting.

[Judy Greer]

Except for your question is breaking.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I have a question. Why has she been. She's been fired four times.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. What's going on there?

[Caller Charlotte]

I'm not going to say fired. I'm going to say, like, laid off. There has been circum. There's been maybe one time. She's actually been fired for ridiculous reasons. I honestly, like, I don't know. She's, you know, she's at the C suite. She's been a coo. She's been a vp. She's been, like, the head of everything that she's ever done. So I, I, she's honestly one of the smartest women I know. She has a master's, two bachelor's degrees. She's very, very smart. So I'm not understanding. Now here we're at a year where she doesn't have a job. Why, like, why. Why can't she get a job?

[Judy Greer]

Did she get laid off from her last job or fired?

[Caller Charlotte]

It was, it was a mutual agreement.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. Mutual understanding.

[Judy Greer]

Is there a lawsuit involved?

[Caller Charlotte]

No, they signed. Signed something. Basically, she got laid off after maternity leave.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, okay.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah. So they basically signed something where I was like, all right, I will leave as long as you pay for maternity leave for three months. Like, pay for my maternity leave, and then I'll. I'll leave.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, it sounds like she's might be depressed.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you think that that's what's happening?

[Caller Charlotte]

Definitely.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Caller Charlotte]

She's trying every single thing. So how can I even, like, be like, all right, I'm gonna leave. Like, I can't do this anymore, when she's trying.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, but she's trying. In which, in which ways is she trying?

[Caller Charlotte]

She is constantly, constantly interviewing. She's trying to do this, like, furniture business now. Or maybe she can, like, refurbish furniture to make some money on the side. And, and, like, she's trying to make that happen. It's not exactly happening. She's been thinking about buying a business. She's, like, looked at businesses and possibly thinking, okay, maybe is this something that I can do? Like, she's trying every outline wet, and.

[Chelsea Handler]

You'Re losing your patience.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, I am.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it her attitude that is bringing, like, is she. She's so she's actively seeking employment and a job and a career path. But is what is bumming you out the fact that she hasn't attained one yet? Or that coupled with her outlook on life.

[Caller Charlotte]

Like, it sounds so terrible, but it says she hasn't found a job. Like, I'm just. I feel like I'm sitting here and waiting for my life to start again.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, I don't know what it's like to have you have a one year old.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

I get that you don't want to leave her, and I would never tell someone to leave their spouse, but I think you have to start your own life. Like what? Like what do you want? So the main thing you want to do is have another kid?

[Caller Charlotte]

I mean, yeah, I want to have another kid, but I also like, want to like, travel and like I'm creating this little girl's childhood and I want to do things with her. I want to take her on vacation, I want to show her the world.

[Judy Greer]

Right.

[Caller Charlotte]

And we just can't do those things right now. And it's like, now I need to figure out, like, how do I, like, get in a better headspace of it is what it is until something happens?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it's not. It is what it is. I don't know that you're ready to call it quits on your relationship. I don't. I'm not getting that vibe. I'm getting the vibe that you're very frustrated and you have every right to be. Like, she hasn't figured out a job yet. She hasn't gotten hired. That's also not her fault necessarily. Like, I don't.

[Judy Greer]

It does sound like she's trying really hard.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, it's not like, like she's sitting on her sofa for a year and just like, I don't feel like going on interviews. Like, that's the impression I got from your letter. And now speaking with you, it looks like she's really actively trying to figure something out. I do think you have to kind of figure out a different approach to this situation, how you're dealing it and possibly how she's dealing with it, you know, to give a little bit more grace to the period she's in. She clearly wants a job and she just doesn't have one. So it's like you're kind of with somebody for the good and the bad. You know, if this were a three year thing, it would be different. I understand. A year is a long time, but again, you have a small child, she's actively looking for work. And you're young and you're raring to go and you're ready to go. Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

She's quite a bit older than you, right?

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, just 20 years older than me.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Judy Greer]

That's a pretty big age difference.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you feel like that's going to be an issue for you in the future? Like, has that been an issue for you thus far?

[Caller Charlotte]

No. All of my friends are much older than me. All the people I'VE ever dated, have always been older. That's just how who I've connected with.

[Judy Greer]

Is there a world where, like, you could get a better job? Like, I don't know what you do, but, like, can you. Is there a world where your career, like, you could, like, both focus on your career and you maybe advancing in. In that way and. Yeah, kind of like taking over more of the breadwinner role so that she.

[Caller Charlotte]

I have thought about that and I have. I do absolutely love my job so much right now, and there is room for growth and I have grown a lot in my company. But, like, for me, it would be like a side gay. So I would be taking up the time that I. I would be able to spend with my daughter. I'd be making money. And then if I'm making all this money, I don't want to be supporting somebody that's just not who I am. Like, one of the reasons I like older people is because they have their shit together and they can help me, support me and help me grow.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm thinking just right off the top of my head, and I don't know how useful this is, but I just feel like there's gotta be a better way for you to support your partner during this time. She's not lying around. She's not a drug addict. She's not a drunk. She's not doing any of those things. Things. Right, right, right. And you share a child. Like, I think you should really try to feel like instead of looking at it in this way. You have every right to be frustrated, but you still want to be supportive and you want to be a supportive partner. Because if the situations or the roles were reversed, you wouldn't want somebody just going, oh, you haven't gotten a job in a year. I know. We have a family together. I know. We like, and I'm leaving. Like, that's just not the way it works. You have to have a little bit more room for things not to work out in the perfect way you want in the moment that you want. When you're dealing with another person, that's just the way it is. So I would say that you a figure out a way and even sit down with her and go, how can we. How can I help you? Like, how can I be more supportive of you? Because I'm starting to get frustrated and all I want to do is, you know, help you get back on your feet. So what are the tools in which we can do this? And possibly even going to, like, couples counseling to figure out a way Forward. And I know that sounds like, oh, that's just more money, but these are really good tools to have because it's not always going to be easy in your marriage, in your relationship.

[Judy Greer]

But do you like. But, like, let me ask you this. Do you want to be married to her?

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

You really, really do?

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, I love her. She's the, like, the best wife and even a better mom. And I think about that, too. And I'm like, all right, if I were to leave once she got back on her feet, like, I'd want to be with her again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. But think about what you're saying.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah. You're just saying, like, you're just saying.

[Chelsea Handler]

You don't want to be with someone while they're failing.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, you want to, like, you have to want to be with her, like, for better, for worse, and on the ups, like, okay, but I've been in.

[Caller Charlotte]

This position four times with her.

[Judy Greer]

With her.

[Caller Charlotte]

That's the issue.

[Chelsea Handler]

Over what span of time?

[Caller Charlotte]

Eight years.

[Judy Greer]

So, like, you cannot control other people. You cannot change other people. You can only control yourself. You can only control yourself. Like, it has to start with you.

[Chelsea Handler]

So.

[Judy Greer]

So if you want more money and you want a bigger lifestyle and you want to travel, you have to shift the focus onto yourself. If you make a good living, if you have a great job, you will be able to take time off and you'll be able to go on the trips with your daughter. Your daughter will benefit from having one parent at home all the time, which you thought was going to be you. Maybe it's going to be her now. Like, I think that, like, you can't change this other person no matter what. Like, you marry somebody, you're like, I don't know what the future has in store for this person, but, like, I'm hitching my wagon to you. And I think, like, you have to kind of start working on yourself and you have to be, like, start to get really honest about what do you like, how to get. How can you yourself get the things that you want out of life?

[Chelsea Handler]

And to Judy's point earlier, it's not necessarily about getting a side hustle. It's like maybe talking to your boss right now about a raise, you know, taking steps within your own career to advance your career. And I'll also say, like, she could get a new job tomorrow. Sometimes you're gonna be pulling the cart. Sometimes she's gonna be pulling the cart. You guys are doing this together, and I don't think it's between, like, well, I really wanna be with her and I'm leaving. There are other options and other ways too. And I think, like, couples counseling has to be next on the list.

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, for sure. I mean, if she was sick and she had to quit her job because she was very sick, you probably wouldn't feel this way. You know what I mean? Like, the circumstances are that you, I think you just, like, want a little bit more right now.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you want a little bit more. And you also, like, I think you have to really adjust your thinking. And how you do this is really just kind of. You can do it with a therapist. You can do it by, like journaling and writing, and you can do it by actually having an open conversation with her about your true feelings. Have you done that?

[Caller Charlotte]

We've had some conversations, yes. I feel like a lot of the times I feel bad telling her that I'm feeling this way because she's feeling it tenfold.

[Judy Greer]

Right.

[Caller Charlotte]

And so it just feels like piling on kind of. Yeah. Like, you think you're feeling bad. Like, I, I am this 50 year old woman that cannot get a job. Like, what do you think? You know, I can't provide for my family like I normally do. Like, what do you think I'm feeling? So it just feels like unfair to have those feelings.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think this is a you problem now. The more we talk about it, I really do. I think you have to adjust. I mean, listen, there might be. She might have her own set of problems, but I think you really have to adjust your expectations and what a relationship really means. Because it's supposed to be 50 50. And you even said she was the breadwinner for many years. I understand she's been let go four times or laid off four times, or fired somewhere in the, you know, middle of that, which is slightly odd. But you already said you love her, you want to be with her. You. You know what I mean? You're together. So you really have to figure out this is like a you inside job. You have to figure out how you're gonna be more supportive towards her without talking to her about it.

[Judy Greer]

And how can you get the life that you want?

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Judy Greer]

And do you both want the same life? You have the same long term goals together. Then you need to kind of figure out like, okay, with these circumstances right now exactly as it is, like, how do we start to achieve those goals now that we have these new facts? Maybe you might have to, like, move to a less expensive place. Maybe you might have to get a different job. Maybe you might have to go in and Ask for a raise or something. But I think maybe you need to. To take care of all three of you right now.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, I think I'm thinking back. What you said, Chelsea, is. It's just like, how do I change my mindset? And how do I be more supportive when I'm so frustrated?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, first of all, you should start journaling. And I don't mean journaling, like, writing everything down. You just get a girl, get one of those, like, inner presence. Inner. Now there's all these inner ones that.

[Judy Greer]

Start with inner journal every day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Gratitude, where you wake up every morning and write down, like, three things that you're grateful for. Think it sounds corny, but if you put it into, like, action, you'll actually start to have a better. Like, you're gonna be vibrating at a higher frequency, and you wanna be vibrating at a higher frequency because she's vibrating at such a lower frequency right? Right now. She's just in a rut. She's in a place that's not permanent. None of this is permanent. Even your feelings right in this moment aren't permanent. It's all temporary. And you have the power to adjust it. So you've gotta be the bigger person. You know Mel Robbins, right?

[Caller Charlotte]

Love.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay? You know Mel. Mel's book. She talks about. Her husband was the breadwinner for many, many years. They were in debt, hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt.

[Judy Greer]

$800,000.

[Chelsea Handler]

She was so depressed, she couldn't get out of bed. And then she created. Look what she's done with herself. She was upset with him and resentful of him because he wasn't earning the money.

[Judy Greer]

She's like, yeah, wait a minute.

[Chelsea Handler]

And she's like, wait, wait. Why don't I fucking get up and do something? And she did something amazing. But first, I understand what you're saying about your attitude and, like, that you want to adjust it because I could see it. And you do need to adjust it. You need to be more loving. You need to be more compassionate, and you also have to own it. Like, this is on you. You know what I mean? You have to change the station. You can't expect her to change the. If you change the station, the best way to change people is by changing yourself.

[Judy Greer]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

That's an expression that's also old and corny, but fucking true. So, like, I would really. I would download one of these apps. This isn't gonna solve all your problems, but it's taking a step in the right direction of positivity. Like, you wanna have a more positive vibe. You don't wanna dread having conversations with her. You wanna be bright and cheerful and lift other people up. Right? Especially her and your daughter. And you wanna just create a different vibe in the house and. And that chemistry alone by you doing that and taking those actions. Then you write down, like, three ways you're gonna make today great and what's something that could happen today that would change your day and make your day great. Those are the questions and prompts that they ask you on these apps. And just by nature, the nature of repeating those things and those sentiments you do kind of. It kind of buoys you and you start to understand and there starts to be more opportunity around you that you weren't seeing before. Cause sometimes we can get so narrow and, like, sunken and, like, victim like, that we don't really see everything.

[Judy Greer]

There's also, like, a shit ton of cool stuff you can do for cheap. You can drive away for the weekend. You know what I mean? Like, you can go camping for really cheap. Like, I know you want to travel and show your daughter the world, but there's still a lot of stuff you can do on a budget right now that will teach your daughter to be creative, to, like, go with the flow. Also, I think maybe, I don't know how often you talk about your wife's job, jobs, and, like, what she's doing for it. Maybe you both need to say, like, one day a week, we're going to talk about your job hunt. Unless there's real news, let's not talk about it every day. Let's talk about it on Saturday mornings over coffee. And then it doesn't become, like, every single day. This topic that is, like, hanging over you because you've decided unless there's really something to share, one day a week is the hour that we.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, we don't talk about it anymore unless it's, like, something really happening. We don't. Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

I mean, is that. How's that? Is that better? Maybe it's better to talk about it now that I'm. You're saying that.

[Caller Charlotte]

I'm thinking now that, like, I need to be more, like, yay. Like, you have an interview. Like, let's go. Like, instead of like, all right.

[Judy Greer]

Or do you guys share a calendar? You could share a calendar and then she could, like, kind of write on account, like, you could see what's going on. It would be a way to, like, share it without necessarily, like, having to say, like, how did the interview go? I remember when I first started acting, I started by telling my parents every Time I had an audition, and then every time I didn't get it, I had to then go and tell my parents I didn't get the part, and it fucking sucked. But, like, now I think, like, you know, they were so sweet, they cared so much, but I just ended up, like, cutting them out of that whole process completely because it was too hard for me. But I think, you know, in your situation, like, maybe if there's, like, a board where she could write down. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think you guys should both start this. I think you should do this as a couple, the journaling thing. I think you should do it together as an activity. You bring it up. Go, hey, listen, we want to get, like, we're not in the right vibe right now. Like, I want things to be better around here. I want to help you get a job. I want to be as supportive as possible. I called into Dear Chelsea, this is what we. Let's do this together. We'll do. You do it at night before you go to bed, and you do it in the morning when you wake up. And then you guys can do that. You have something like an activity that's kind of bonding together. And that way, when she has a job interview coming up, she can be putting positive energy towards that. And also, you can be like, what would make today great? The answer is my partner having a great interview, a great job interview today, my partner getting a job today, all of those things. But, like, in a very supportive way. You know what I mean? Like, an adaptive strategy rather than, like, a maladaptive one.

[Judy Greer]

She might also benefit from you asking her to help you try to get ahead in your career. Like, maybe it would make her feel good to start to, like, help you try to get a raise, get a promotion, get a. Like, climb the ladder, maybe get a different job at a different company. And what you're doing that you like so much, that's, like, a little bit. Maybe she would feel really good about helping you do that. I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't know about that, but. Well, she's 50. She's not 100. She's gonna get another job. You know what I mean? So just don't write her off. But I do think start with the small steps of just creating a better vibe in the house, because however you're feeling is something that you're emoting without knowing. You know what I mean? If you're having negative feelings about her situation and about her not bringing in money, I am sure she's well aware of it. So Just to change the channel and go, okay, we're gonna put on a nice, fun show for a little, you know, for the next few weeks, and we're all. And then it's also another line of communication between the two of you to kind of share that, like, experience of journaling. Like, oh, this is really corny. I don't know what to say. What am I grateful for? Your daughter. What are you grateful for? Your job, the house, the roof over your house, head, whatever. You know, the food that you ate that morning. You could be grateful for a good TV show. Just trust me to start doing that and just take little steps in the right direction. Instead of thinking I'm not getting what I want, think about how you're going to get what you want.

[Caller Charlotte]

Yeah, you can do that. That's easy. That's something you can do.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, check in. Check in with us in a few months, will you, and let us know what's happening.

[Caller Charlotte]

Okay, we'll do.

[Judy Greer]

All right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thanks, Charlotte.

Okay, thanks, Charlotte.

[Judy Greer]

Very brave.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, thanks.

[Caller Charlotte]

By.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's so interesting with couples not getting what, like, you want, but also knowing that you want to stay. You know what I mean? Like, saying, okay, this is.

[Judy Greer]

It was nice when she said that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly.

[Judy Greer]

Because it was like, she really did. And it's very easy like. Like, for someone who just, like, wants Chelsea Handler to tell them to walk away from their marriage. Like, you could tell that you were.

[Chelsea Handler]

The one who was about to do that. Judy, you were. You were quite.

[Judy Greer]

Because I was really honestly feeling like she was trying to get us to say to go.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't feel that way, though.

[Judy Greer]

I totally felt that way from her. I felt like she just wanted permission to go. And if that's the case, like, I just feel like people just go.

[Chelsea Handler]

Leaving this marriage will be just as hard as waiting out the joblessness. I feel like in this situation.

They also have a one.

[Judy Greer]

I feel like if that is our.

[Chelsea Handler]

But they also have a one year old.

That's not her to leave.

Right. I mean, you want to get up and leave that. That's like a big. You're.

[Judy Greer]

Sounded like she would be taking that child with her because she said, I don't want to take her daughter away from her. Right, right. Like, that's. And so she has thought about it. Well, she already has a scenario.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. But I think when you're very married to this idea of what your life.

[Judy Greer]

Is going to look like, that's tough, man.

[Chelsea Handler]

It becomes like, very.

[Judy Greer]

Like in Goodfellas when he comes home from jail and he like, walks into the apartment that she's been living in and they're all like in bunk beds in one room. And. And he's like, what the fuck? No. And she was just like, hey, you don't remember that? No.

[Chelsea Handler]

And she's like, hey, things have been going.

[Judy Greer]

She's like, oh, here we are. And he's like, what? But like, she didn't. She like signed up for like fancy mob husband, but she made it work. Right? And then she got rewarded for it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

Except for then they all went to jail.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, we're gonna take a break. We'll be right back to wrap up with Judy.

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Judy Greer]

Here we are, fourth quarter of the year. The clock's winding down and flu season starting up.

[Chelsea Handler]

So don't get caught off. Make your move to Walgreens and get that flu shot. They even know which other vaccines you.

[Judy Greer]

May need and when you need them. That's how you stay in the game.

[Chelsea Handler]

So walk in or schedule an appointment today to get up to date on all your vaccines. That's the human kind of help.

[Judy Greer]

Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age.

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[Chelsea Handler]

If you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious, but also a total crowd pleaser, let me introduce you to Josh Sellars. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines. From crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlots, Josh Cellars has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Josh Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week, you can't go wrong with their Pinot Grigio. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Cellars has something for everyone. Josh Cellars wines are made for sharing with those who matter most to you. And each wine is made to exacting standards. So no matter which varietal you choose, you can be confident it will be well balanced and delicious. Josh Cellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly. And we're back with Judy Greer. Judy, what a pleasure it's been. You're so entertaining.

[Judy Greer]

It's been really fun. I feel like I failed a little on the advice portion, but you did great. I'm very cerebral. When I was actually afraid.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, you're afraid.

[Judy Greer]

I'm afraid of, like, telling people what to do, even though that's all I want to do with my life, but I'm like, ooh. But yet you felt the fear and.

[Chelsea Handler]

You did it anyway.

A real therapist. A real therapist or a real psycho, like psychologist who doesn't. Doesn't. Or a real psycho doesn't really tell you what to do.

[Judy Greer]

They know. And that's why you were there for years. Yeah, yeah. Because, like, what if they are like, break up with him. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I would have loved for people to tell me that throughout the years with different relationships, even, like, in couples. I had once, once a therapist, as I was leaving with my boyfriend, grabbed my arm and said, get away from him as quickly as possible. And I broke up with him the next morning.

[Judy Greer]

Whoa.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, thank you.

[Judy Greer]

You got one more good night out of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, I had to get my things together. We were living together. I was like, oh, shit. But I was like, if a stranger told me that If a stranger grabbed my arm and said that someone who has no, you know, has nothing at stake, no skin in the game, and said that to me, I would be an idiot to not listen to her. Like, she knows better. You know, that's how I look. She's a professional, and she did. She was right. So on that Note, Judy has two movies that you can watch. Well, she has about 5,000 movies that you can watch, but two new movies. One is the Long Walk, and then the next one is called Dead of.

[Judy Greer]

Witch Winter, starring Emma Thompson.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, yeah. Emma, I love. Oh, my God, she's the best. I once went to a Bruce Springsteen concert with her in London. Not with her, but we were gonna say, wait, she needs to be. She's podcast. She's amazing.

[Judy Greer]

She's amazing.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's like Cate Blanchett level, like, those two. Oh, my God, I love both of those. I'm just thinking of other British actresses that I love, but all British people.

[Judy Greer]

Why? Because there's just them. Yeah, there's probably loads, but, I mean, she's is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Did you, did you have a good time with her?

[Judy Greer]

Yeah, yeah. She's so cool.

[Chelsea Handler]

She is so cool. Smart.

[Judy Greer]

She doesn't mince words. She's kind to people. Yeah. 49. I, I, I learned so much from her. I felt like I grew up just being around her for two months.

[Chelsea Handler]

What did you, what do you think you learned from her?

[Judy Greer]

Well, she's nice, she's kind to people, but she has a lot of integrity, and she treats people the way that she would want to be treated. But, like, she's not afraid of being disliked. She is patient until it's time to not be patient. And she's not a doormat. I guess it's because so much of, like, my psyche is, like, wrapped up in, like, I want to be liked, you know, like, I work set. People pleasing. Yes, yes, yes. And, like, I watched how she managed people and relationships on set, and it was really, it was inspirational because she was kind to people without being desperate to be liked.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

Wow.

[Judy Greer]

So I believe her. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Judy Greer]

I, like, really believed her in a way that sometimes when you're, like, you don't necessarily believe the person that's, like, so nice all the time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Judy Greer]

The end about Emma.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's our episode, guys. Dear Chelsea, we believe the word of the week is coterie. Noun.

A small group of people with shared interests or tastes, especially one that is exclusive of other people. Coterie. Also a brand of highly absorbent diaper. Coterie.

I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting in February of next year so I will be touring from February through June. I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will be to some of these. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelsea podcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching ear ChelseaPod Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert Executive Producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.

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[Podcast Announcer]

Iheart Hosts compensated for their time I used to play team sports and shared a locker room with a whole lot of women, plus 14 roommates in one college house. I still text, call or see so many of those women regularly. We talk about everything, even breast cancer, which has affected several of my friends. Breast cancer has impacted all our lives in one way or another, so we know talking about it is important to share, understanding and to keep everyone updated. If you or someone you know was previously diagnosed with HR positive HER2 negative early breast cancer and went through treatment, you might be surprised to learn that it could come back. That's why I want to tell you about a breast cancer treatment called Kiskali. Kiskali ribociclib 200 milligram tablets are taken with an aromatase inhibitor. It's for adults with HR positive HER2 negative stage 2 or 3 early breast cancer with a high risk of recurrence and it can help reduce the risk of cancer coming back. In a clinical study at three years, 91% of people taking Cascali plus an aromatase inhibitor were cancer free versus 88% taking an aromatase inhibitor alone. Individual results may vary. Kiskali may cause serious skin reactions, liver problems and low white blood cell counts that may result in serious infections. Life threatening lung problems and abnormal heartbeats can occur. Your doctor should test your heart and blood before and during treatment. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening cough, chest pain or dizziness before taking Kiskali. Tell your doctor all your medical conditions, medicines you take and if you're breastfeeding, pregnant or planning to be as it can harm an unborn baby. Common side effects include nausea, headache and tiredness. It's all about doing more today. To help protect your tomorrow, visit kiskali.com I know it's tricky to spell, so that's K I S Q A L I To learn more and ask your doctor if Kiskali is right for you.

[Chelsea Handler]

For you legends with a Z.com is a 100 free to play social casino and sports book, spin slots, make live picks during the game and play live blackjack all from your couch. Slots, sports, original games. Legends has it all. It is free to play, but you can win for real. Life's busy so take a break and dive into the fun. Legends with a Z.com legendary fun always free. Always so much fun. New users get a 100% bonus on their first purchase. Up to $100. No purchase necessary. Legends International void where prohibited by law 18 years or older. Terms and conditions apply. If you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious but also a total crowd pleaser, let me introduce you to Josh Sellars. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines. From crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlot. Josh Sellars has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Their Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week. You can't go wrong with their Pinot Grigio. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Cellars has something for everyone. Josh Cellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly.

This is an I Heart podcast.