Dear Chelsea: “It’s Me or The Dog” with Madelaine Petsch

Podcast: Dear Chelsea
Date: October 9, 2025
Host: Chelsea Handler
Co-host: Katherine Law
Guest: Madelaine Petsch

Episode Overview

In this lively advice-filled episode, Chelsea Handler and co-host Katherine Law are joined by actress Madelaine Petsch (known for "Riverdale" and "The Strangers" franchise). The episode covers Madelaine’s international upbringing, her career and mental health journey, and delves into listener advice queries on relationships, friendship boundaries, and navigating pet-parent dilemmas. The trio strikes a balance between heartfelt, humorous, and practical advice, with plenty of candid moments and memorable zingers.

Main Discussion Themes and Segments

1. Madelaine Petsch’s Background & Career (04:09–13:19)

• Upbringing and Dual Heritage:

  • Madelaine clarifies misconceptions about her South African background—parents are South African but she mainly grew up in Washington state, with regular family trips to South Africa.
    • “It's really interesting how interviews can skew the reality of my life so much.” – Madelaine (04:09)
  • Discusses cultural differences, especially around manners and social awareness.
    • “I think probably manners.” – Madelaine (05:57)

• Travel and Adventures:

  • Jokes about safaris and snake phobias, and stories about safaris in Durban, South Africa.

• Professional Projects:

  • Talks about recent movies: horror sequel “The Strangers Chapter 2” and upcoming romcom “Maintenance Required.”
    • Shares experience filming in Slovakia and her appreciation for Bratislava’s charm and the country’s atmospheric (and abandoned) locations.
  • Behind-the-scenes of horror filmmaking, including dealing with real hospital morgues and her love for the genre’s freedom.
    • “I truly believe right now the best movies...are horror because they're the only ones that are like, different.” – Madelaine (11:49)

2. Mental Health, Therapy, and Family Dynamics (13:29–21:17)

• Managing Anxiety:

  • Madelaine opens up about growing up in a dysfunctional household and discovering the physiological component to her anxiety—a copper imbalance—and how therapy is her most valuable tool.
    • “It was so validating to understand that at a real molecular level, like a physiological.” – Madelaine (14:56)

• Therapy Experiences:

  • Describes trying hypnosis (and pretending it worked), the role of long-term therapy, and why you shouldn't fake progress.
  • Emphasis on destigmatizing seeking help for mental health.

• Impact of Family on Life Choices:

  • Discussion about motherhood, maternal role models, and how loving mothers (and family dysfunction) influence choices around parenthood.
  • Katherine describes her own childhood and reflects on differing definitions of “normal.”
  • On societal pressure for women to have children:
    • “For the longest time, I think I just got so annoyed that society tells you as a woman your only real purpose is to have children, that I was like, go [f***] yourself.” – Madelaine (19:49)

3. Madelaine’s Personal Interests (20:24–22:47)

• Pets & Tattoos:

  • Talks about rescuing her dog Olive and having a tattoo of Olive’s teeth.
  • Also has a tattoo of her mom's loving phrase.

• Pole Dancing:

  • Took up pole dancing for a movie and now as a form of fitness (and bruises from it).
    • “It's really fucking hard. I had no idea how much arm strength you need.” – Madelaine (21:13)

• On Loving One’s Work:

  • The group expresses gratitude for careers centered on their passions.
  • Reflection on privilege vs. hard work in entertainment.

Listener Advice Questions

4. Dating a “Bad Texter” (26:25–33:13)

Listener: Jack, 26, NYC
Issue: Dating someone great who’s a terrible texter; worried intermittent communication will jeopardize the relationship.

Hosts’ Advice:

• Madelaine: Sees it as a green flag—less phone obsession suggests better in-person connection.
  • “This is not communication. Like, nothing about this is connection and communication.” – Madelaine (28:32)
• Chelsea & Katherine: Agree texting style isn’t a dealbreaker. Reset expectations; if the vibe in-person is strong, that matters most.
• On ChatGPT in Dating:
  • Madelaine’s best friend uses ChatGPT for guidance on texts.
  • Katherine warns of environmental concerns:
    • “Every time we use ChatGPT, it is like you have to go to...a lithium farm...terrible for the environment...” – Katherine (30:35)
• AI and Relationships:
  • Spirited speculation on future AI partners and human connection (discussions of movies like “Her”).

5. Dog vs. Boyfriend: The Pet-Parent Dilemma (34:12–41:28)

Listener: Alyssa
Issue: Her boyfriend, who’s moved in, wants more “dog-free” time and restricts bedroom access for her beloved dog, their COVID-era “baby.”

Hosts’ Advice:

• Immediate reaction is strong concern and skepticism.
  • “Let that man go.” – Madelaine (36:40)
  • “He’s in his car to avoid being around your dog. That is fucked up.” – Katherine (36:43)
• Nuance Added:
  • Would be different if boyfriend was allergic or had trauma, but here it seems controlling.
• Big Takeaways:
  • Pre-existing “family” (dog) should not be compromised for a partner, unless there are basic, reasonable boundaries. Adjust the conversation, reset the boundary, and advocate for your pet.
  • Use white noise or earplugs for the snoring, not exclusion.
    • “And get a white noise machine if he can't handle the snoring. Like, just, like, blast a bunch of fans in the room.” – Chelsea (41:03)

6. Navigating Changing Friendships (43:54–49:28)

Listener: Elle
Issue: Therapist whose close friend (also a therapist) pulled away after Elle set boundaries regarding alarmist news sharing and questioning of “safe space” in their friendship.

Hosts’ Advice:

• Self-Reflection:
  • Elle admits feeling drained by the friendship and acknowledges that boundaries shifted things.
• Key Guidance:
  • Apologize once; multiple apologies unnecessary.
  • Let the friendship take its new shape without forcing resolution—embrace the space as a potential blessing.
    • “Take the space as a gift...this is kind of like a little blessing in disguise.” – Katherine (47:08)
  • In-person connection may reset the dynamic. Let time and proximity bring clarity.

7. Supporting a “Late Bloomer” Friend (Virginity & Family Dynamics) (52:45–56:24)

Listener: Jamie
Issue: Concern for friend Miranda, 32, who’s never kissed anyone, has an overbearing (possibly controlling) father, and is struggling socially.

Hosts and Madelaine’s Advice:

• Do not jump to conclusions about sexual abuse or “past lives” without evidence.
  • “That's a pretty big leap.” – Chelsea (54:17)
  • “That's a little crazy.” – Madelaine (54:28)
• Address Current Dynamics:
  • The father-daughter dynamic is concerning—being told how to dress in her 30s suggests possible enmeshment or arrested development.
  • Gently encourage Miranda to seek therapy (“soft, gentle ways”) to address family boundaries and uncover potential sources of her struggles.
    • “It's also unusual that you've never been kissed...wondering if you should really have somebody who has no opinions about your life to bounce this stuff off of.” – Katherine (55:24)
  • Ultimately, it’s not Jamie’s burden to “fix” her friend, only to offer care and resources.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Therapy & Anxiety:
  • “I don't know if that's ever going to go away, but there are tools I can have to fix that or to help manage it.” – Madelaine (14:56)
• On Societal Pressures:
  • “For the longest time, I think I just got so annoyed that society tells you as a woman your only real purpose is to have children, that I was like, go [f***] yourself.” – Madelaine (19:49)
• On Horror Movies:
  • “I feel like fear is the only emotion you can't really manufacture because your body doesn't know the difference with fear.” – Madelaine (11:09)
• On protecting your “pack”:
  • “It's so unfair...to basically, it's like punitive. Like, this guy is setting the tone for how much time you spend with your dog. That was preexisting. That was a pre existing relationship that your boyfriend is now disrupting. That in and of itself is unacceptable...” – Katherine (37:12)

Episode Highlights by Timestamp

• 04:09: Madelaine’s real upbringing; debunking interview myths
• 05:57: Cultural differences between South Africa and the US
• 07:37: Details on filming “The Strangers Chapter 2”
• 10:09: Love of horror genre and industry insights
• 13:29: Madelaine’s mental health and therapy journey
• 17:43: Discussion on motherhood and parental role models
• 20:24: Revealing dog tattoos and stories of rescue dogs
• 26:25: Advice: How to date a “bad texter”
• 34:12: Advice: Navigating partner vs pet boundaries
• 43:54: Advice: Therapist friends, boundaries, and safe spaces
• 52:45: Advice: How to support an unusually sheltered friend

Tone & Style

Conversational, honest, witty, and occasionally irreverent—classic Chelsea style, with Madelaine’s candor and warmth pairing well. The advice is both empathetic and practical, blending personal anecdote with generalizable wisdom.

Quick Takeaways

• Texting does not define a relationship; face-to-face connection is key.
• Don’t compromise core bonds (with pets/family) for someone else’s comfort without serious discussion.
• Therapy, boundaries, and honest self-reflection are crucial—not just for individuals but for sustaining healthy relationships of all kinds.
• Support friends through suggestion and care, not by assuming or forcing psychological narratives onto them.

For more information, tour dates, or advice submissions:

• Write to dearchelseapodcastmail.com
• Follow full episodes on YouTube (search: DearChelseaPod)
• Follow Chelsea’s “High and Mighty” tour (details at chelseahandler.com)