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- [00:00]
Katherine
This is an I Heart podcast.
- [00:04]
Chelsea Handler
Ever crave something tasty but feel like you should eat something healthy instead? Welcome to my life. Wonderful Pistachios the Don't Hold Back snack. These are craveable, flavorful and totally addictive in the best way. I'm talking Honey roasted Chili Roasted Jalapeno lime. Bring the heat and the sweet. Each serving has 6 grams of protein and 0 grams of regret. Want the satisfying crack of the shell? Go for the classic. Prefer to dive right in with no mess and the no shells version has your back. Grab a bag of wonderful pistachios and snack like you mean it. Check out wonderful pistachios.com to learn more. You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Yep, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real and completely normal. That's exactly why Hill's Pet Nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance the tension between multiple pets. Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more Ready to let go of the guilt? Find the right food@hillspet.com iheart that's hillspet.com iheart from nursing and healthcare to business and it Rasmussen has a range of programs to fit your goals and passion no matter what your day to day looks like. Rasmussen's programs allow you to balance school with life while you pursue your degree. So if you're ready to pursue your education goals, Rasmussen is ready to help you take that next step. Head on over to Rasmussen. Edu and check out the opportunities waiting for you. Your future is a bright one. Rasmussen University can help you get there.
- [01:46]
Chelsea's Co-host
I used to wake up at 2am drenched in my own sweat. Not the cutest. Then I found pod 5 from 8 sleep and it changed everything. It's built with women's health in mind and helps with those brutal hot flashes. And it is a smart mattress cover that cools your body before a hot flash hits. And when I need an instant relief, I just tap the bed to use the app to activate Hot Flash mode. It's clinically proven to reduce hot flashes by over 50% and it even cools each side of the bed independently. So go to 8sleep.com Chelsea use code Chelsea and get $350 off. You will thank me later.
- [02:24]
Chelsea Handler
I just announced all My tour dates, they just went on sale. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be start debuting my new material in February of next year. So I'm coming to Washington, D.C. norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus and Cincinnati, Ohio. Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago, of course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque Mesa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri City, St. Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham, North Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California and Port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon and Seattle, Washington. I will be touring from February through June. Those are the cities that I'm in. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you wanna come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour. Hi, Katherine.
- [03:33]
Katherine
Hi, Chelsea. I probably shouldn't say this, but Happy Halloween.
- [03:37]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, God. Oh, God. I was trying to be flying on Halloween so that I wouldn't have to show up at any parties. I mean, I'm not going to show up at any parties. Somebody invited me to a party with like that severance logo and it was the bottom half of my head and the top half of severance. And I was like, I hope this is just the invitation for me and not the whole party. But no, I don't. You know how I feel about Halloween. I'm huge.
- [04:03]
Katherine
You're not a dresser upper.
- [04:05]
Chelsea Handler
No, not. Are you looking forward to it? I know you're dying for me to ask you so you can talk about it.
- [04:11]
Chelsea's Co-host
Well, I'm just going to have a.
- [04:12]
Katherine
Little party because Brad's birthday is around this time, so we'll be throwing a little party. So we're gonna have like a Halloween slash birthday party. And yeah, just, you know, still kind of cobbling together a costume. But, you know, I love Halloween.
- [04:26]
Chelsea Handler
I know. I know how you feel about Halloween. I want to remind listeners that I've added to my boycott of Home Depot because of companies that cooperate with ICE. Now we're adding Spotify.
- [04:36]
Katherine
I deleted Spotify.
- [04:38]
Chelsea Handler
I've deleted TikTok. I still have a TikTok account that my social media manages, but I don't scroll TikTok anymore. I think the government running that is a shit show. And I. So I'm boycotting Home Depot and I'm boycotting sp, Spotify and more to come.
- [04:53]
Katherine
Great, great. And I'm sure continuing on with the Target boycott after the removal of the da.
- [04:58]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, Target is over.
- [04:59]
Chelsea's Co-host
Which is the good store.
- [05:00]
Chelsea Handler
Walmart.
- [05:01]
Katherine
I don't know. I mean, they were always like the traditional evils Costco Is pretty good. Like Costco is.
- [05:07]
Chelsea Handler
Costco's good, right?
- [05:08]
Katherine
They do good things.
- [05:09]
Chelsea Handler
Costco, yeah. Cause I'd like to promote these good companies that do good things. And like for hardware stores, like, you know, local hardware stores. If we could all start. There's supposed to be some economic Blackout that starts November 25th through December 2nd. I saw Rosie O' Donnell posted about that. So that would be great if we can all get on board with that. No shopping, no restaurants. I mean, that's a little conflicting because I have a show on November 29th in Vegas. But I care more about the country than I care about my show.
- [05:35]
Katherine
Yeah, yeah.
- [05:36]
Chelsea Handler
Anyway, economic blackout, November 20th, something I'm gonna post about it. The only thing that anybody cares about is money. I can't. These ICE videos are so disgusting. This administration is so gross. Who's our guest today? Are they gonna cheer us up?
- [05:51]
Katherine
Our guest today is Nicholas Sparks. He co wrote his first spooky novel with M. Night Shyamalan. They made the story together. And his new novel, Romaine also is now a New York Times number one bestseller.
- [06:04]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, right. We have another author today.
- [06:06]
Chelsea's Co-host
We have.
- [06:07]
Chelsea Handler
We're back to back author weeks. By the way, I've read Malala's book this week and I've read Laura Lynn Jacksons, who are both an upcoming guest. Malala's funny. I'm into her. She's real funny.
- [06:19]
Katherine
Good.
- [06:20]
Chelsea Handler
Okay.
- [06:20]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yeah. So Nicholas Sparks is here today.
- [06:22]
Chelsea Handler
Another best selling, very famous author. I'm so excited to have him on and talk to him about his new novel. So let's get going. Nicholas Sparks, welcome to Dear Chelsea.
- [06:32]
Nicholas Sparks
Hey, I'm thrilled to be here. How fun is this?
- [06:35]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, my God. It's the king of romance.
- [06:38]
Nicholas Sparks
The king. That's what they say. Aren't you inspiring today? I appreciate that.
- [06:42]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, no. Oh, I'm here to inspire the whole world. We're in a dearth of inspiration, so I'm here and you're here to help. I was just going over the list of books that you've written. I mean, a lot of them have been made into movies, so a lot of them. But let me just read them out loud to you in case you've forgotten any. Counting Remain is the newest one. That's what we're gonna be talking about today. Everybody Counting Miracles. Dreamland, the Wish, the Return, Every Breath, Two by two See Me the Longest Ride, the Best of Me Safe Haven, the Last Song, the Lucky One, the Choice. Dear John At First Sight, True Believer. Three Weeks with My Brother, the Wedding, the Guardian The Nights in Rhodanthe. Yeah, yeah, Rodanthe. I've watched that a couple of times. I like Diane Lane and who's the guy in that? In the movie?
- [07:30]
Nicholas Sparks
Richard Gere.
- [07:31]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, yeah, of course. They were so hot together. They were in that. Yeah, they were in a couple of A Walk to Remember, Message in a Bottle, which was another classic. And the Notebook, which I think is probably the most popular of them all so far. So what's interesting, we're gonna get into your movies and your. Well, your books that were made into movies and your books that you've written in a minute. But I wanted to talk a little about your latest, Romaine, which you co wrote. Is this the first time you've ever co written something with anyone?
- [08:00]
Nicholas Sparks
Well, I did a nonfiction book with my brother years ago, three weeks with my brother that you. You referenced there. And so he and I were the co writers on that. And then for the Last Song, the screenplay, there was a. I worked with a co writer on that.
- [08:17]
Chelsea Handler
Okay, so what. Tell me about the difference in between that. Because this you co wrote with M. Night Shyamalan, who I used to call M. Night Chaka Khan until I could figure out how to pronounce his name properly. So now I can and I'm pretty excited about it.
- [08:29]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, this was very different. The way we worked together primarily was I gave him a long leash when it came to the film and he gave me a long leash when it came to the novel. And you really. The way to think about this is the two of us conceived this story together and then he did one side of the coin, the film side, and I did the other side of the coin, the novel side. And so I didn't really dig in and hammer down and give long detailed notes on the screenplay. And he didn't edit, for instance, the novel. We both decided to take this story that we put. Both came up with and I did my medium and he did his. It's the best way to think about it.
- [09:15]
Chelsea Handler
Did you guys check in with each other? Like what were. Did you have tent poles that you had to follow or any sort of storyline that you had to stick to so that they would be analogous to each other?
- [09:25]
Nicholas Sparks
Oh, yeah, here. So. So here's how it came about, right? It was a very Hollywood thing. In the original part, it was. I have people in Hollywood. He has people in Hollywood. My people got to with his people. I don't know, they were at a party or something, said, hey, we should get Nick and Night. They should do something, you know, I hear this from my Hollywood people all the time. Right. And 99% of them amount to nothing. Well, that was in early January 23rd. And then in March 23rd, my guy calls me and he says, you've got a meeting with Knight. It's going to be in Pennsylvania at Knight's place. And the goal for that meeting was I was going to come up with an original story that would work as both a novel and a film and that would satisfy my readers and his fans. And then he was going to do the same thing. So then we met in May of 2023, primarily to see if we wanted to work with each other, if we could work with each other, if it was going to be more hassle than it worth, because are we both prima donnas? You know, people can add stress to your life, and neither of us want where we've reached. We've been at this 30 years. We. We don't need more stress. Right, Right. So we had this great meeting. I pitched my idea, he pitched his. We decided jointly to do his idea. And we hammered out all of the or most of the specifics on the idea that eventually became remain. So then I didn't hear anything Until August of 2024, just a year ago August, so not that long ago. And he calls me up and he says, I think this is going to be my next movie. Which means he's going to write, direct and produce. And so I say, oh, then I guess I'm going to do a novel. Because I didn't know what. He didn't know what we were going to do. What, what, what were we going to do together? Was I going to write a short story and he would produce it? Was I going to do a novella? Were we going to do a TV show? We didn't know. Anyway, he said, this is going to be my next movie. So I decided to do a novel. So he works on the screenplay for about six weeks from late August till about October 12th. I talk to him two or three times a week. I'm cheerleading, I'm brainstorming, I'm doing whatever.
- [11:43]
Chelsea Handler
And are you guys making sure that you're on similar pages? No pun intended.
- [11:48]
Nicholas Sparks
We already knew what the story was. Cause we had hammered that out in May of the previous year. So then I get the script and I say, okay, this is great. This is exactly the story we talked about. But I'm in a different medium. I have more room for backstory, I have more Runway. I can hop into the characters heads a little bit more. So I set Aside the novel I was working on and started writing Romaine in October, all of a sudden, on a very big deadline. Finish it in January. This was just last January. Go through the editing process. Here we are, the book's coming out. The movie's already been filmed, and he's in the editing room. The novel's coming out, and the film will be out in 2026. Very fast.
- [12:31]
Katherine
That's such a tight timeline. You wrote the book starting in October, and it's coming out the following October, basically.
- [12:37]
Chelsea Handler
Why do you have any separation between the book and the movie coming out? Cause I would think it would be fun to have them both released at the same time.
- [12:46]
Nicholas Sparks
Primarily because you want to have a couple of lives on the book. Basically, you want to have a hardcover life and then a paperback life. So if you see the COVID of Romaine. Right. So it's really pretty, and it's a great book cover. But so we'll have that cover. That'll be the hardcover. And then when the paperback comes along. Well, now we're probably going to see Jake and Phoebe.
- [13:07]
Katherine
I see.
- [13:07]
Chelsea Handler
Right.
- [13:08]
Nicholas Sparks
On the paperback.
- [13:09]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. So Jake Gyllenhaal starring in the movie with Phoebe Dinevra. Right.
- [13:13]
Nicholas Sparks
Or Dynevor.
- [13:14]
Chelsea Handler
Dynevor. Okay, okay. The girl from Bridgerton. Who. Yeah, she's really good. Okay. So as a writer, I mean, first of all, you're responsible for so many broken hearts. I just wanna come out and say that. I don't know. I mean, there must have been so many couples that read your books or leave the theater after seeing these movies and just leave their boyfriends. They're like, where's my fucking message? In a bottle? You know, Like, I could only imagine, because I remember as a young person, when I would watch, like, when I would read something really, like, romantic. Cause these books aren't, like, lusty. I wouldn't. It's not, like, smutty. I mean, they're love stories. You're kind of known for writing. Romantic. No. And not all of them have happy endings.
- [13:59]
Katherine
Right, Right.
- [14:00]
Chelsea Handler
So it's not like it's just always the same formula. But I would imagine that you've gotten a lot of feedback about setting a measure of a standard of love and romance at a certain level that a lot of men probably can't attain or can't measure up to.
- [14:18]
Nicholas Sparks
I have heard such stories at my book signings. Right. They're like, where's my Noah? Or where's my John from Dear John? Or where's my Landon from A Walk to Rem? I Do hear those stories. And at the same time, I think in the course of my career, I've had seven marriage proposals in lines to sign my book, get up to the table, the doodle dropped to his knees, and I feel so bad for him. I'm like, dude, you're in a Walmart in Birmingham, Alabama. You really would have proposed at a Walmart in Birmingham or something like that. But it's happened. And I hear I get a lot of letters also from people who say that the stories either remind me of their love story or someone they love. I can't tell you how many people wrote, said the notebook is the story of my grandparents or the story of my parents, or I lost my sister, you know, or I lost the love of my life to cancer, or I was, you know, in love with a girl and she left me because, you know, I was deployed too long, like, happened in Dear John. And so, you know, you get a lot more of those kinds of stories then people coming up and saying, I've ruined men for them for the rest. Which I'm glad. I would feel bad if that was more common, actually.
- [15:34]
Chelsea Handler
No, that's what you come to dear Chelsea for, to get upbraided. Okay, so how did you begin your. Like, did you set out wanting to become a romance novelist?
- [15:45]
Nicholas Sparks
No, no, I was a regular guy. I was a good student. Right. I was. Well, let's see how far back I was. Regular suburban family, high school valedictorian. I was also a pretty good runner. I got a full scholarship to the University of Notre Dame for track and field. Broke the school record there. Still hold it, by the way, after 40 years. Wow.
- [16:05]
Chelsea Handler
No one's broken your record.
- [16:07]
Nicholas Sparks
Not for 40 years.
- [16:08]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, wow, that's lucky.
- [16:10]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yes.
- [16:10]
Nicholas Sparks
Look, you know, they've had the horse races. They just haven't had the horses. Right. That's what I like to say. And let's see, I spent the first couple few years after graduation trying to figure out what I wanted to do, and I was writing on the side. I wrote a novel when I was 19 and another at 22.
- [16:28]
Chelsea Handler
Was it a romance novel at 19?
- [16:29]
Nicholas Sparks
No. First one was a horror novel, and the second one was a murder mystery. Okay, so when we look at Romaine, right? Little supernatural, little mystery. See, Goes right back to my roots. Then I was selling pharmaceuticals, had a midlife crisis about 27 years old. What am I doing with my life? And I decided to give writing another shot because first novels had been unpublished, and I wrote the Notebook, and here we are.
- [16:55]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, God. Well, let's talk about that because I can't tell you how many times we've had callers come in that are working jobs that are dissatisfying and they wanna take a leap of faith and get into their creative zone and do something like write a novel or write a book. And they're always torn and betwixt in between. So let's just talk about that moment in time for you personally when you were a pharmaceutical rep and how you made the decision to just kind of take a huge leap like that.
- [17:22]
Nicholas Sparks
Oh, well, you know, thank you for giving me way more kudos than I deserve.
- [17:27]
Chelsea Handler
Well, you already pumped up your track record. I mean, I'm just trying to support. I'm trying to support the storytelling.
- [17:33]
Nicholas Sparks
I'm really proud of that track record.
- [17:35]
Chelsea Handler
We're all proud of you right now. Look at this.
- [17:37]
Nicholas Sparks
So at that time, I was married, I had two kids and my second son was real young. He was months old and he was not a good sleeper. So he was up all night, basically. So my wife at the time, Kathy, she was going to bed very early, you know, maybe 8 o' clock because she wanted to get maybe three or four hours because she knew she was going to be awake the rest of the night. So I was kind of alone. I would work my job during the day, but then I have a choice. It's 8pm I can watch TV or chase a dream. I said, you know, I'm going to chase a dream. So funny. Off goes the TV and on and then, then I begin to write. So I wrote that in evenings and maybe one morning on a weekend when the family hadn't yet decided what we were all going to do. Go to the beach or whatever. And over a period of six months while working, I finished the novel. Now get this, I finished it. Then I had to go do the agent thing and work with her and edit the book. And I sold it In October of 1995, a year before it came out. Sold it for the advance was really big back then. It's kind of big now. It was like a million dollars.
- [18:51]
Chelsea Handler
How did you get a million dollars for your first book?
- [18:54]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, a million dollars for the first book. It was the Notebook. Yeah, it's the Notebook.
- [18:59]
Chelsea Handler
I know, but like, was there a bidding war created? Like, how did.
- [19:02]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, there was a. Yeah, everybody wanted it and there was a bidding war. I get a million dollars and the book doesn't come out for a year. But at that time, yes, that's a great deal of money. But, you know, when I was pretty Good in math. And I was a business finance major. And you do the math. You're like, okay, after agent, you know, 15%, and then you're singing to the choir.
- [19:25]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I got it. Yeah.
- [19:27]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yeah.
- [19:27]
Chelsea Handler
It's not.
- [19:29]
Nicholas Sparks
And then I say, okay, I got enough to pay off my very reasonable $200,000 mortgage. I have enough to put money away for my kids to go to college. I got enough to maybe, you know, put some in retirement, but that's about it. You know, I'm. I'm 28 years old, and I'm going to have to turn on the lights and eat food the rest of my life. So I don't quit my job, and I don't even tell anyone at work that I've just basically won the lottery. Here I work for another year until October 1996. Now the book comes out, and now I have to tell everybody because I. I'm on, you know, CBS this Morning, and I'm in all the newspapers. My boss finds out. So I did not quit until then. I think the Notebook had been on the list for 14 weeks. It was February of 97 that I quit. And I didn't. I wasn't even willing to quit then, except Message in a Bottle was going very well, and the publisher had made an offer on that one, and it was more than I had earned for the Notebook. And I said, okay, maybe I can make a living doing this. So way less bravery than you give me credit for. I kind of played both sides, I guess.
- [20:44]
Chelsea Handler
So you were able to basically write two books while you were working as a pharmaceutical rep?
- [20:48]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, yeah. I was about half done with Message in a Bottle when it was sold.
- [20:51]
Katherine
But, yeah, I do think that's such great advice. And it is what we've told people in the past. You don't have to, like, quit your job and then go try to be an actor or whatever your thing is. Keep doing what you can do while you're still, like, keeping lights on, like you said.
- [21:06]
Nicholas Sparks
Well, and I had two children. Right. And my wife was not working at the time. We'd made the joint decision that she would stay home when the kids were little. So what was. Yeah, it just seemed like the logical choice. And you're writing a novel. Yeah, it's. It's a lot of work, and it's a challenge and this and that. But depending on how long it is, if you're not writing War and Peace, you know, I mean, it's reasonable. Like, when I sit down to write, I try to write 2,000 words. Well, a typical novel is 100,000 words. So it might take me, let's say, 130,000 to get the hundred thousand that I keep. Right? Well, that's 65 days of writing over a 365 day year, right?
- [21:50]
Chelsea Handler
That's good.
- [21:50]
Chelsea's Co-host
That's good.
- [21:51]
Nicholas Sparks
And even with a notebook, let's say the notebook wasn't even that. The notebook, I think, was about 50 to 60,000 words. So even if I'm only writing it a thousand words a day, of course I had time in the evenings, right? You crank out 500 words or a thousand words, eventually the novel's gonna get done. I think it's more because I had written a couple of novels earlier in life that were never published. I never went to the keyboard and said to myself, there was never the thought that I wasn't gonna finish. There was the thought, am I gonna be any good? Am I gonna be terrible? But there was thought there, but not the thought that I wasn't gonna finish. So. Hey, a little bit closer. Hey, a little bit closer.
- [22:33]
Chelsea Handler
Okay, now a real question. Do you cry when you watch your movies? The books that have been made into movies? Did you cry during the Notebook?
- [22:42]
Nicholas Sparks
Uh, yeah, of course. You gotta cry at the end, right? I don't think. Look, I'm not weeping and reaching for tissues, but I get a little teary, you know, I got teary at the Notebook musical too. I mean, they just did such a beautiful job.
- [22:55]
Chelsea Handler
What about when you reread your material at times?
- [22:58]
Nicholas Sparks
Sure. I'll get choked up sometimes. Sometimes. And of course, I don't reread all the time. I'm not that vain. But I'll pick up a book. When you first finish a novel, you don't want to see the thing for about five years. It's just like the worst friend ever. He just abused you for years and you're done with him, right? So you got to give it some space.
- [23:19]
Chelsea Handler
Well. And nowadays, when you publish a book, it's like, okay, you finish a book, it's a labor of love. Then you go through the editing process, which is less creatively fulfilling. Yes, yes. It's just kind of tedious. And I mean, it's an important part of the process, but it's not like, I don't know why I'm acting like I'm from Canada saying process. But anyway, it's an important part of it. But it's also. It's just not a fulfilling part. It's like, yeah, I like learning about language and sentence structure and making sure I'm using the right words and the most powerful words when that's appropriate. But also then you get. Then the book is done, then you have to shoot the COVID then you have to agree on a cover. Then they send you 10,000 book slips. Now this is the new thing where they send you 10,000 buck slips, which are the slips that are the first sheets that go into the book. And you have to sign 10,000 fucking copies. And that really takes the joy out of the entire process.
- [24:14]
Katherine
And it gives you carpal tunnel.
- [24:15]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, I've often joked about that. You know, people say, they'll say, what do you do? I say, I'm a writer. And they say, well, what do you write? I say, well, mainly I write my.
- [24:24]
Chelsea Handler
Name over and over, over and over and over again.
- [24:27]
Katherine
Yeah, I just got V E Schwab's new book. She did the Invisible life of Addie LaRue and she did 30,000 for her. I'm like, that's too many.
- [24:35]
Chelsea Handler
Somebody needs to many. The next time, I threw my back out twice, signing my last 10,000 batch of books. The next time I write a book, I need to be suspended from the ceiling, preferably a ceiling fan, in some sort of suspension gear where my back is not positioned in an awkward way. So I could just go like this. Cause, you know, you could stamp them, but nobody wants to do that. When you care about your readers, you want to, you know. So, I mean, it's not that you're pigeonholed in, like, romance novels, but you've kind of, sort of like you've kind of chosen to write those books. Do you feel at all like that's what you're supposed to write, or do you feel pigeonholed in any way?
- [25:14]
Nicholas Sparks
Look, I write because I want people to read them. And look, I know what my readers have liked. And so I try to write in kind of that, but there's less pigeonholing than you'd think because I try to make each novel very different, even though we know the idea is very simple. It's a love story, it's going to be set in North Carolina, but other than that, I want it to be as different as possible. So I'll write some in first person, some in third person, some in third person, limited, omniscient. I'll do some with A stories and B stories that collide in the end in a way a reader don't expect. I'll do epic novels. I'll do characters in their teens or their 40s or characters in their 80s. I'll have happy endings, bittersweet endings and sad endings. I'll have tragedy in other forms. With that said, I also vary the themes, so some might be love and danger. The one remain here is love and the supernatural. I've done love and mystery. So the great thing when you're just really writing about human emotion is I have a great ability to add the elements of all kinds of different stories. Right. I've had soldiers in my novels. I've had mysteries in my novels. I've had arsons in my novels. So all sorts of different things. So while it is pigeonholing. Yeah. It's a love story in North Carolina. Aside from Remain, which is set in Cape Cod, it's okay. What I would tell people is, even though it's those two things, it's different than anything else I've ever done. There's going to be other themes you don't expect, and you won't see the ending coming. And that's. There's. There's a lot of challenge in that. And I enjoy it.
- [26:55]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. I mean, I think one of the key things you said is instead of, like, you know, your wife goes to bed at 8pm when you had the little kids and you had a choice to sit on the sofa and watch television or shut the TV off and write a fucking book. And I think therein lies your answer. You know, you could be. I mean, I wrestle with this all the time. Yesterday I was reading my friend's book who's coming on the podcast, and I was like, I went to go turn on the TV and the TVs weren't working. I'm in this rental house and they weren't working. The cable was down, and I was like. And then I was like, well, I could possibly read a book, idiot. So I went and I got the book and I read a chapter, and then I saw the TVs come on. And I'm like, you have a choice right now. You can either continue reading, which is better for your brain, or be mindless. Like, watching TV can be so numbing. And it's very rare that there is an incredible show out there now. I mean, there's a lot of shows out there, but to get a really good one. But I think therein lies the difference. You do have to make the choice to do the work, you know, in order to take the chance to try something new, you have to put the effort in.
- [28:00]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah. And of course, these days you also have to put down the phone, which I think people. I think some people might spend more time in front of a screen than a TV screen. I don't know. I'm not. It seems like it especially. So you have to now put two things down, I guess to chase and drink.
- [28:17]
Chelsea Handler
How do you manage your phone, Nicholas?
- [28:20]
Nicholas Sparks
Oh, it's not a big deal, you know, once you get into. Look, I'll fart around on my phone just like everybody does. But I probably, you know, I work out a couple hours a day. I probably read two or three hours a day. I work five or six hours a day and I, you know, I'm on the phone talking to friends or visiting with friends. Not every day. I'm not that social. But enough in the, in the course of a week, so. And then, you know, you're sleeping and you're on your phone the rest of the time, usually playing games. I'm a big backgammon nut, so I play a lot of backgammon.
- [28:54]
Chelsea Handler
Okay, and so do you write five to six hours a day? Is that what you said?
- [28:58]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, it's about five on days that I write, but I don't write every day.
- [29:02]
Chelsea Handler
Do you write first thing in the morning?
- [29:04]
Nicholas Sparks
I write after coffee and after my workout.
- [29:07]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, okay, interesting. We talked to Mitch Albom last week and he writes first thing in the morning. And I was telling him about this book that I had picked up years ago called Daily Rituals, which talks about all these famous kind of authors, physicists, philosophers, and what their kind of work ethics were. And a lot of them just get up, you know, five in the morning and they work for three hours and then they're done for the rest of the day. Their creative juice is pretty much there. Just first thing in the morning. That's. I'm a first thing in the morning kind of person. That's when I get my best shit done.
- [29:38]
Nicholas Sparks
Well, I'm an early riser. I'm usually up about 4:30 or 5 most mornings. But I can't start my day without coffee. And I like to get my prayers in and get my dog out because I like my dog too. And I. Then I like to exercise, you know, I mean, I just. I know if I'm not after I'm done writing, I'm too tired to exercise. So I gotta write first.
- [30:01]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yeah.
- [30:01]
Nicholas Sparks
And you know, so I'm usually in the, you know, in front of the computer. Not late, about nine. And it's not five or six hours, usually three to five. Today I think it was like three. It really depends. Again, I don't write every day. Some days I edit and some days I'm just trying to figure out what I'm supposed to do next, so. And that it's not a faucet that you can turn on. I say with my way of describing writing a novel is you have to know what to write. That's part of it. And then you have to know how to write it. Now, if you know what you're doing, the how, you can always get through that. It may take more or less time than you think, but if you don't know what to do, man, there's no reason to put any words down at all. I think I spent three or four days trying to figure out what the next 500 or 700 words were in this novel and didn't do anything for three days or four days. And boom, 700 words came in like 20 minutes. I'm like. I literally. I'm like, this is ridiculous. I wish I could turn it on and off like a faucet, but I don't understand.
- [31:07]
Chelsea Handler
So you're saying the idea has to come to you and then you can put it to paper. You have to have a direction.
- [31:11]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, right, exactly. If you don't know what you're writing and what would work exactly best within all these other ideas about what the novel is supposed to be, not only what specific, like, how do I describe this thing, this particular passage of time, without being repetitive or boring, and knowing that I have to do this again in a couple of chapters where I am going to have to use this one way to do it, but what's the other way to do it and how can I do it, and what's a new way and what's going to be interesting and flow. I had no idea. I had no idea. It took a little editing on what I'd already written, and then, okay, I was ready to write the words, and they just literally poured out.
- [31:53]
Chelsea Handler
I love it. I love it. As somebody who writes a lot of romance novels, what is the most romantic gesture that you've ever done for someone else?
- [32:02]
Nicholas Sparks
Oh, gosh.
- [32:03]
Chelsea Handler
There's or one that's been done for you?
- [32:07]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah. You know, it's funny, when I was married, what my Kathy liked at the time, because we had children, right? We had two, and then we had three more. So we had five kids. So it was always a bustly busy house. And, well, what she. She really most appreciated were evenings off, like, where she could just. You take care of the kids. I don't want to feed them the whole bit. All the way into bed, you know, do this one soccer practice and do this with the others, I just want to sit on the back porch for a while. Then I want to take a long tub. Then I want to go lay in bed and watch brainless TV and then pass out. So I made a point to do those kinds, but she swore she wanted more than anything.
- [32:55]
Katherine
Yeah, I think that's real life romance.
- [32:57]
Nicholas Sparks
And she told me that was romantic.
- [33:01]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, no, no, no. I can appreciate that that's romantic. I mean, I'm not interested in getting flowers from a lover. Like, I find actual traditional and I don't even have children, but I find very traditional romantic things unnecessary. It's really those deeper meaning, like very thoughtful gestures that really actually make a difference in everybody's lives. When you really know somebody and what they need, that's real love and romance. Okay, we're gonna take a break and we're gonna be right back with Nicholas Sparks. From nursing and healthcare to business and it, Rasmussen has a range of programs to fit your goals and passion. No matter what your day to day looks like. Rasmussen's programs allow you to balance and school with life while you pursue your degree. So if you're ready to pursue your education goals, Rasmussen is ready to help you take that next step. Head on over to Rasmussen Edu and check out the opportunities waiting for you. Your future is a bright one. Rasmussen University can help you get there.
- [33:56]
Chelsea's Co-host
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- [34:03]
Chelsea Handler
And let me tell you, it is a game changer.
- [34:06]
Chelsea's Co-host
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- [35:10]
Nicholas Sparks
We know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our flu info in a meditation.
- [35:18]
Chelsea Handler
Keeping you calm, just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little needle nervous. So walk in or schedule an appointment and Walgreens will handle the rest.
- [35:31]
Nicholas Sparks
That's the human kind of help.
- [35:34]
Chelsea Handler
Walgreens vaccines subject to availability, state, age.
- [35:37]
Caller Keisha
And health related restrictions may apply.
- [35:39]
Chelsea Handler
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- [36:41]
Nicholas Sparks
You know, the wonders of technology, the wonders of the interweb, they never cease to amaze you.
- [36:47]
Chelsea's Co-host
I know.
- [36:47]
Nicholas Sparks
Zoom. I love it.
- [36:48]
Chelsea Handler
Whoever came up with Zoom and whoever came up with Docusign and whoever came up with an air fryer, I need to personally thank all of those people because those are three of the biggest game changers in my life in the last three years. Yes.
- [37:02]
Nicholas Sparks
All right. What do you put in your air fryer?
- [37:03]
Chelsea's Co-host
What do you do?
- [37:03]
Chelsea Handler
Anything.
- [37:04]
Chelsea's Co-host
Everything.
- [37:05]
Chelsea Handler
Everything. I can't cook, so I put anything in there.
- [37:08]
Nicholas Sparks
Okay, I like that. I like that.
- [37:10]
Chelsea Handler
I have one of those. It's like a toaster oven. Also air fryer. So you can turn it on toast or you can turn it on air fryer. I mean, I don't know how to change the settings, so it's always on air fryer.
- [37:21]
Nicholas Sparks
I Got you. Well, air fryers are great. They're especially great when it comes to reheating things.
- [37:25]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yeah, yeah.
- [37:26]
Chelsea Handler
That's usually what I'm doing anyway, is.
- [37:28]
Nicholas Sparks
Reheating, and literally that I will be using my air fryer tonight. So I'm with you.
- [37:32]
Chelsea Handler
There's nothing better than seeing, like, you know, if I love salmon, I love chicken. Like, putting it in just for two minutes and just hearing the sizzle to get the crispiness. I'm like, oh, my God.
- [37:41]
Katherine
Doesn't get a crispy. This is.
- [37:42]
Chelsea Handler
All I've ever wanted was crispy food. That's really my. That's what I want.
- [37:46]
Nicholas Sparks
Yeah, I agree. I agree. Amazing. And yeah, I'm with you on the others, too. I like Docusign and Zoom. They're very. They're very handy. I remember I used to get a lot of contracts that I used to.
- [37:58]
Chelsea Handler
Have to sign because I'm annoying.
- [37:59]
Nicholas Sparks
I'm published in, like, 50 different languages. I mean, so for every book, you're getting this. And then, I mean, I get. I get FedEx is this thick, you know. You know, just filled with contracts I have to sign.
- [38:13]
Katherine
Yeah.
- [38:14]
Nicholas Sparks
Now it's click, click, click. I love it. It's great.
- [38:16]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. Docusign is really the best. The best thing that's ever happened. I mean, not to have to sit there with somebody with a notary and sign contract. I'm like, oh, my God. And fingerprints. I'm like, no. And once you check into Docusign, it's like a commercial for Docusign. Once you check into Docusign and give them your first signature, that's it.
- [38:33]
Katherine
It just does it.
- [38:33]
Chelsea Handler
It's just over. I'm like, oh, my God. I just want, like, I want to perform for that person in some whatever way they want me to.
- [38:41]
Katherine
I will find the CEO of DocuSign and get you guys.
- [38:44]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you, Nicholas. This is the part of the show where we take questions from callers. Okay, great. Okay.
- [38:49]
Katherine
Yeah. Well, our first question comes from Keisha. She says, hi, Chelsea and Catherine and any other beautiful folks who read this. I'm a writer. I'm actually a sometimes part time, sometimes contract, sometimes unpaid, sometimes for myself, writer, and have been for many years. I'm in my 30s and make my money in a career that's not writing. That said, my writing has been published and I've been paid for my writing for over a decade now. Here's what I want to get a read on. Are any freelancers currently making it out there? Do you really have to have a whole Online Persona Read impressive Instagram or TikTok to get traction these days, the best luck I've had to make a career, I. E. Money is copywriting in my technical field. Subject matter. It's extremely sanitized, and I obviously can't put much of a stamp on anything. Should I just be grateful I'm getting paid to write at all? And why is this reading like a diary entry? Dear Chelsea, I'm interested in thoughts and advice to advance my writing career or perhaps to redefine it. Very, very best. Keisha. I thought about making this anonymous, but isn't that antithetical to my whole thing?
- [39:49]
Chelsea Handler
Yes, yes, you can't be anonymous, Keisha. But actually, we were just having this very conversation. This is our special guest. Nicholas Sparks is here today.
- [39:57]
Caller Keisha
Hi.
- [39:57]
Chelsea's Co-host
Wow.
- [39:58]
Caller Keisha
Nice to meet you.
- [39:59]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah.
- [39:59]
Nicholas Sparks
Hi there. How are you?
- [40:01]
Chelsea Handler
He was just.
- [40:01]
Caller Keisha
Just the person.
- [40:02]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, exactly. Nicholas, tell her what you were telling us, please.
- [40:07]
Nicholas Sparks
Well, when I first began writing, I ended up writing my novels in my spare time after work, usually in the evening. I would write from 8 o' clock to 11 o', clock or maybe even midnight, and then I'd work my regular shift. I'd also write one day on the weekend. I had a wife and I had two young children at home, and I really felt like writing was important to me. I wanted to chase a dream, so I made time for it. So I think I, if I was you, I were to really start and really answer the very first question is, what kind of writing do you want to do? Is it. Do you want to be a novelist? Do you want to be one of the people that, let's say, publishing houses call to write a famous person's biography? Do you want to be a, you know, an anonymous biographer? Do you want to be someone who publishes on substack and journalistic pieces? What kind of writer do you want to. And I think until you're clear about exactly the kind that you want to be, you're probably just better doing what you're doing and mastering the skills that you're developing, because, as you said, you know, you do some copy this, you do some writing on your own, you do some writing that gets published, and that's all great. All of writing is a skill, and you do need to practice it. And it's wonderful that not only do you get paid a little bit to do it, but you also make time to write what you want to write. So once you decide then what you want to write, then you have to break it down further. Can I ask what your Dream writing thing would be screenplays, novels, nonfiction, you know, what are you thinking?
- [41:56]
Caller Keisha
What I've really enjoyed that I've actually been able to do has been some short stories, some short format fiction. The problem is obviously like, short format as a medium is kind of shrinking. We'll see how that goes. But I have actually really enjoyed that. I kind of like those sort of colonel storytelling. It's very powerful to me. It's very fun. I do have like half a novel geared towards adults that I actually found not that fun. And then there's like some a little bit longer, maybe middle children age books that I have been really getting into.
- [42:34]
Nicholas Sparks
Okay.
- [42:35]
Caller Keisha
I have a little kid now and now I'm thinking about like sort of stories that I sort of tell her. And like, how would that change? Like when she's like in the second or third or fourth grade and how fun that would be. And I'm actually really enjoying sort of plotting that out. And I'm a morning person, so I like what you're saying about you would carve out your time in the evenings. Honey, I'm in bed. But what I do do, and I love that you said that, is I do tend to get up around 4:30 or 5 nowadays and everybody else is asleep till 7.
- [43:00]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [43:01]
Caller Keisha
I think I should make more of an effort to protect that. Right?
- [43:05]
Nicholas Sparks
Sure. That's a great thing. And you're right. Short story fiction is really tough these days. But it's been tough for probably 20 or 30 years. With that said, it's a wonderful way to develop your storytelling ability. What you might consider is maybe taking. And this is an idea, and feel free to throw this out because it's not good, but you think of some of these ideas that you're thinking about for your daughter, maybe in second or third grade, and fairy tales or whatever, whatever. Adventure tale or a mystery tale. Right. What if you actually compile those and you're not trying to just publish one story in an offbeat magazine, but you eventually try to publish those stories as a collection, an anthology or another option is to perhaps, and you don't have to take these ideas is to perhaps if you so much enjoy short story fiction, think of a broad story with multiple characters and somehow tell a dozen short stories that all come together at the end.
- [44:07]
Caller Keisha
I love that.
- [44:08]
Nicholas Sparks
So there's different ways you could chase your dream. But of course, you know, we only have so much time and good for you for really developing your skill.
- [44:18]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I mean, I think that's great advice. I was gonna say One of those things, not the second one, which is even better advice than the first one. I mean, you can combine all of those stories, and, I mean, make that a big book, or you can make one. You know, all of these stories within one big book. But you could have a book of short stories. You know, those are still relevant. And also, just like, I had this conversation with a group of women from, like, Silicon Valley last night. We had a tech kind of meeting. And it's kind of like, don't let. I hate letting, like, the market dictate what you're going to bring to it. Like, you know, when you have a talent and you have a desire, do what you love to do and bring it to the marketplace. Don't let whatever's popular or not popular dictate what you're gonna do in your spare time. You have the spare time. That's the first thing you need. You have the time in the morning, as you already mentioned. Just use that time, like, dedicate that time to really focusing on one of those two options that Nick mentioned. And I think, you know, like, in a couple months, you're gonna be farther down the road. Listen, children's books are always gonna be viable. They're always gonna be selling. People always want a nice parable or an. You know, that's something you can make more and more out of in success, you know? Remember Ramona? What was her name? Ramona. Those were the books.
- [45:35]
Katherine
Beasley.
- [45:35]
Chelsea Handler
Ramona Beasley. Yeah. Other than Judy Bloom, like, Ramona and. Yeah, the Cat Ate My Jumpsuit was Judy Bloom. But then there was another series with Ramona, who was always in trouble. And I love that. But, like, you know, when you're thinking about children's stories, like, that's something that's kind of always has the potential to resonate. So it's really about picking exactly, like, where you're gonna put your energy into and just. Just giving yourself that time every day and doing it.
- [45:59]
Caller Keisha
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think sometimes you just need somebody to say, like, keep going, keep doing it. And also, the whole thing about, you know, building a platform, I think that's part of where it does get a little bit rough, because it's like you're kind of going to the marketplace. You know, what's marketable? Am I marketable? It's like, cart before the horse. And so that can be pretty, like, kind of a bummer. But I like that you guys are like, don't even think about that right now.
- [46:26]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. And also, like, don't make it a bummer. Make it an adventure. Make it like, okay, fun. Okay, I'm gonna go online. I'm gonna go on my social media platform and ask people, what would they like the most? Would you like a short, you know, would you like a short story for your second or third grader? A book about being a young person or a young child? Would you like, you know, maybe you could get feedback that way, you know, but don't be worried about the response of anybody at this point. Just be worried about moving towards your goal. Because what you said in the letter is like, should I be satisfied writing this kind of sanitized stuff? Like, no, you shouldn't be satisfied with that. That's a way for you to make money. But you should go after your dreams. We only have a short time here. You might as well make them count for you.
- [47:12]
Katherine
I forget where I heard this, but recently I read something that said something along the lines of, your desires are what bring you toward your purpose. So, like, don't discount that. You do want more than that.
- [47:23]
Caller Keisha
And like Mr. Spark said, it counts. It's good experience. Like, I'm definitely learning. Self editing is a really big tool that I've learned a lot from copywriting.
- [47:34]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, Edit to amplify. Edit to amplify.
- [47:38]
Caller Keisha
Yeah, for sure. It's also just hard, you know, you start to get older and you start to think it all ties into sort of like youth culture and taking up these audience numbers on these sort of arbitrary formats that maybe that's not your thing. It's not really my thing.
- [47:50]
Chelsea Handler
No, but it doesn't matter. But also on the subject of age, like, that is, there's a million people that are your age. Who cares about what young people are doing? Focus on the people that you're going to be servicing. Focus on your group of people. Don't worry about what people who are 20 and 30 years old are doing. That's not relevant to you. So I just like, don't forget there's a bunch of other people. It's not like you have to be this new, young, fresh, hot thing all of the time. That's not real. That's just what we've been served up. So just enjoy, like, where you are in your life. Appreciate it. You have the passion and now you just need the commitment and the drive.
- [48:26]
Caller Keisha
I really appreciate that. And you're a great testament to that of you're not chasing anything. You've grown and developed sort of based on your interests, and that's been really powerful to see.
- [48:37]
Chelsea Handler
Oh, Well, I love that. Thank you.
- [48:39]
Katherine
Will you follow up with us?
- [48:40]
Chelsea Handler
Yes. Keep us posted.
- [48:42]
Caller Keisha
Absolutely. Thank you all so much. I hope you have a good one. Awesome.
- [48:46]
Chelsea Handler
Thank you. Good writing question for us. For our special guest today especially.
- [48:52]
Katherine
Well, this next question isn't about writing, but it is about a family secret. And I feel like you are someone who is a specialist in juicy secrets.
- [49:00]
Chelsea Handler
In fictional family secrets.
- [49:02]
Katherine
Fictional families.
- [49:03]
Chelsea Handler
Unless you have some real ones you want to spill.
- [49:05]
Nicholas Sparks
Necklace.
- [49:07]
Katherine
Well, our next question comes from Lynn. She says. Dear Chelsea, three and a half years ago, I rekindled my relationship with my older sister without telling the rest of my family. She was nine when I was born and as a little girl, I idolized her. My love of tie dye and the Grateful Dead come straight from her. In the 80s, when she was applying to colleges, there was a huge fight between her and my parents. My parents told her they couldn't afford to pay the tuition to the college of her dreams. There were some harsh words on both sides. It destroyed their relationship and she cut herself off from my family. Growing up, I asked questions about why I no longer saw her and basically was told it was her choice to be so selfish. Years later, her husband actually wrote me a letter and told me that she missed me and would like to have a relationship with just me. I hate to admit it, but at the time I was not ready for that. I was still under the impression that my dad was perfect and I told her as much when I called her. I was awful and so hurtful. After I had my own kids, though, it started to dawn on me that parents are just doing the best they can. In fact, I started thinking that it was my parents who fucked up more than my sister.
- [50:08]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, it sounds like it.
- [50:10]
Katherine
At 18, she was a child when the rift happened and it all just made me so sad. I felt like I was missing a piece for 30 years and I just flat out missed my big sister. So I reached out online and we agreed to meet. Over the last three years, we have become so close again. We have a ton of similarities beyond just how much we look alike. We're both teachers, same political beliefs. We love cats over dogs, even our mannerisms. We've become part of each other's families. Here is my problem. All of this has happened in secret on my side. I haven't told my parents or younger sister that I have a relationship with my older sister. And at first it was to protect the fragile relationship I was trying to form. But now it's just out of worry and guilt. She wants nothing to do with my parents or younger sister. And I worry about hurting my dad, who is in the early stages of dementia. I would keep this a secret forever, but now my kids have formed a relationship with my older sister and her family, too. We're very close with my parents, and my kids see them every day. I feel awful having them lie to my parents when we have plans with my older sister and her family. I don't want my older sister to be some guilty secret. Do I confess to my parents and younger sister? And if so, how do I do it in a way that's not going to hurt their feelings since I've been hiding this from them for years. Help. Lynn.
- [51:19]
Chelsea Handler
Hi, this is Nicholas Sparks, our special guest today.
- [51:22]
Caller Lynn
Hi.
- [51:22]
Nicholas Sparks
And. Yeah. Do you want me to answer this question?
- [51:25]
Chelsea Handler
Would you like to go first?
- [51:26]
Chelsea's Co-host
You're.
- [51:26]
Chelsea Handler
You're welcome to.
- [51:27]
Nicholas Sparks
I don't, I don't think I have the expertise to answer such a question other than to say, you know, if you're, if you're still close with your parents, I don't see how you can continue to lie to them. Right. What they do with information is going to be up to them. They might be reasonable, they might not be. But I certainly don't think it's good that your kids have now kind of get caught up into it. Not like, like they're lying to them, but when you're going to go see the sister and her family and they have to lie about that. I always kind of lead my life, and I really do. And most everyone who's very close with me would agree with this is, look, this is who I am. I'd rather you know the real me and choose to have a relationship with me or like me or dislike me after this. But here's the real me, and I don't try to hide that. And I don't recall ever losing someone with that kind of honesty. That was important to me. Now, I don't know your parents, and they might be that kind, but I would say you think you have a relationship with your parents, but they don't even know the real you. They have a relationship with a facade of you. And I'm older than you, so I, Yeah, I just don't really care anymore. What, here I am, and if you don't like me, you don't want to talk to me anymore. Okay, good on you. Wish you well.
- [53:01]
Chelsea Handler
Lynn, can I ask you. This all happened because of college because she, they had a disagreement over where she was going to go to college.
- [53:08]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yeah.
- [53:09]
Chelsea Handler
Are your parents religious? Or something like is there. I just can't believe, like one blow up. Yeah, one blow up. And they're so close with the rest of the family and they just extricate. She was like ostracized from the family for the rest of her life.
- [53:23]
Caller Lynn
So it wasn't that she was. Well, I mean, I guess she was kind of ostracized. So now I was nine. So this is. Yeah, I've piecemealed it back together a little bit and we've talked a little bit about it, but we've just tried to kind of move on. That was, I guess, the, the biggest argument that set her over the edge to be like, you don't even care about me going to college, therefore I'm going to do what I want to do and I want nothing to do with you. So she removed herself from the relationship and my parents just basically pretended she never existed after that, as did the rest of my dad's side of the family.
- [54:03]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I would just. I mean, honestly, it's really. That's. It's not your problem. The fact that you reconnected with your sister is beautiful. And that's exactly what you should do. And you should probably encourage your younger sister to reconnect with your sister too. Because anybody who can write their own child off at 18 years old is. That's not right. You know, And I mean, obviously that sounds like I'm passing judgment on your parents, but like, I agree with Nick. Like, you wanna be upfront. There's nothing wrong with what you're doing reconnecting with one of your family members who was kind of taken out of your life as a 9 year old. I lost my brother at 9. Like it's not the same circumstance, but I would do anything to be able to reconnect with him, to be able to have a conversation with him, you know, like, of course, that's a natural instinct. That's a natural way for a human being to relate to another person in your family. And your. Yeah. Your father is in the beginning stages of dementia. That's unfortunate. But it's also not your responsibility to take care of your parents feelings. You're an adult who has children that you want to set an example for.
- [55:04]
Chelsea's Co-host
Right.
- [55:05]
Caller Lynn
I completely agree. So I have intentions of telling my parents, like I feel bad that I've waited four years to tell them. I'm just trying to figure out at this point how to do it without hurting their feelings.
- [55:18]
Katherine
Dropping a bomb.
- [55:20]
Nicholas Sparks
I have an idea.
- [55:21]
Caller Lynn
Okay.
- [55:22]
Nicholas Sparks
It's the best way. Go over, have A nice day with them. And then when there's 10 minutes to go until you have to leave, send the kids the car, talk to them. You'll give them a hug, say, oh, before I go, you should really know this. Tell them, then go get in the car, let those two deal with it without you having to see their reaction. Okay. And then call, you know, a couple days or whatever your date, your call schedule is, say, hey, hey, mom, hey, dad, how are you doing? Or whatever you do. That's what I would do.
- [55:55]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, that's a great idea.
- [55:58]
Nicholas Sparks
And say, okay, we're gonna talk about this for the next three hours. No, this is more of a, you're not doing anything wrong, you tell em and then you let those two deal with it.
- [56:07]
Katherine
Yeah, that's great. I also think some of the guilt of this is coming from, like, how long it's been, I think get nebulous on that detail.
- [56:14]
Nicholas Sparks
Just say, look, I've reconnected with her and we've become pretty close. And I just thought that you should know that I just didn't feel, I felt it wouldn't be good of me to lie. I don't want to raise my kids, you know, knowing this lie. And I just wanted you to know that we've reconnected, we're really getting along. My kids like her kids, and I think she's a terrific, wonderful person. Don, walk to the car.
- [56:37]
Chelsea Handler
How do you feel about that, Lynn?
- [56:39]
Caller Lynn
Yeah, no, I, I, I feel like I, I could do that for sure. I actually had talked to my therapist about ways as well to try and just like drop the truth bomb and run. The funny thing is I don't actually, I'm horrible at keeping secrets. So the fact that this is a secret that I've been keeping is keeping me alive.
- [57:00]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, I mean, I would also just not. You don't have to explain every single detail. You know what I mean? You just kind of give them the information that's absolutely necessary and walk to the car and follow up with them a couple days later. And if they don't want to talk to you for a while, then they don't want to talk to you for a while. But it's better just to tell the truth, you know? And also for the sake of your children, you know what I mean? You just have to demonstrate how you want them to go through life. And lies are the worst, and they always come out. Everyone finds out about everything. So I don't understand why people continue to lie. But I mean, I understand your situation, but just you know you wanna live in truth.
- [57:35]
Caller Lynn
Yeah, I agree.
- [57:36]
Chelsea Handler
Okay, well, good luck with everything. Let us know how it goes. Okay?
- [57:39]
Caller Lynn
Yeah, I appreciate it.
- [57:41]
Chelsea Handler
Okay.
- [57:41]
Chelsea's Co-host
Okay.
- [57:42]
Chelsea Handler
Okay. We'll take a quick break and then we'll be right back with Nicholas Sparks. From nursing and healthcare to business and it, Rasmussen has a range of programs to fit your goals and passion no matter what your day to day looks like. Rasmussen's programs allow you to balance school with life while you pursue your degree. So if you're ready to pursue your education goals, Rasmussen is ready to help you take that next step. Head on over to Rasmussen. Edu and check out the opportunities waiting for you. Your Future is appropriate. Bright1 Rasmussen University can help you get there.
- [58:17]
Chelsea's Co-host
I used to wake up at 2am drenched in my own sweat. Not the cutest. Then I found pod 5 from 8 sleep and it changed everything. It's built with women's health in mind and helps with those brutal hot flashes. It is a smart mattress cover that cools your body before a hot flash hits. And when I need an instant relief, I just tap the bed to use the app to activate hot flash mode. It's clinically proven to reduce hot flashes by over 50% and it even cools each side of the bed independently. So go to eightsleep.com Chelsea use code Chelsea and get $350 off. You will thank me later.
- [58:55]
Nicholas Sparks
At Walgreens, we know flu season can feel a little chaotic, so we're going to give you our flu info in.
- [59:02]
Chelsea Handler
A meditation keeping you calm. Just like a certified Walgreens pharmacist will do if you're a little needle nervous. So walk in or schedule an appointment and Walgreens will handle the rest.
- [59:17]
Nicholas Sparks
That's the human kind of help.
- [59:19]
Chelsea Handler
Walgreens vaccines, subject to availability, state, age.
- [59:23]
Caller Keisha
And health related restrictions may apply.
- [59:25]
Chelsea Handler
If you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious but also a total crowd pleaser, let me introduce you to Josh Seller. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines. From crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlots. Josh Sellars has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Josh Sellers Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week, you can't go wrong with their Pinot Grigio. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Sellars has something for everyone. Josh Sellars wines are made for sharing with those who matter most to you. And each wine is made to exacting standards. So no matter which varietal you choose, you can be confident it will be well balanced and delicious. Josh Cellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly. How do you like our therapy session so far? Nicholas?
- [60:26]
Nicholas Sparks
Wow, these are tricky questions. Seriously, I don't know that I'd like to do this every like you guys do. I don't want to give people advice. I barely can handle my life, let alone trying to help other people with their lives.
- [60:40]
Chelsea Handler
No shit. I mean, I wish I gave the advice I give to other people to myself, because it's much different. What do we have to wrap up?
- [60:48]
Katherine
Well, we do have one last question. So Carrie says, Dear Chelsea, I've never really referred to myself as an artist, but I've always needed to outwardly express myself. I love to sing, dance, draw, and I was a gymnast as a young girl. I've been through a lot in my 56 years. My mother is white and Jewish and my father is black. Growing up in the suburbs of New York in the 70s and 80s, there were no other families that resembled mine. I grew thick skin and learned how to thrive in survival mode. I subscribed to the belief that we can all be happy, but we must do the work on ourselves in order to live a happy life. I have often thought about writing my story of resilience to share with others with the hopes of inspiring people who've struggled. Two years ago, my husband and I went to D.C. for his college reunion with a group of friends. We stayed in a big Victorian house and hung out. A few of us were in a transition phase and longing for something but not sure what it was or how to achieve it. One of our friends suggested we do an exercise. We had to describe our dream life five years from now as if it had already happened. I told them that my husband and I have been traveling all over the world. I blurted out that I had written a New York Times bestseller and I was currently on my book tour. I had toyed with the idea of writing a book but had never said the words out loud. When we got home, I committed to writing daily and began with essays about my childhood, adulthood, trauma, all of it. I kept at it and eventually there was a book. Here's my issue. I haven't reread the book since I finished it or taken the next steps to find an editor. I'm very proud of myself for this achievement. I know it's a big deal. I also know that my stories will resonate with so many as the struggles I've been through are not uncommon. And my basic message is that we can get through anything. I realize that it is the fear of revealing myself and being vulnerable that's holding me back. Do you have any advice on how to push through the fear and take the next steps?
- [62:30]
Caller Keisha
Carrie?
- [62:31]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, walk through that door, Carrie. You gotta walk. I mean, fear is there to face the challenge. I look at fear always as a challenge that I will overcome. If I am scared of something, I move towards it even more forcefully. Unless you want to keep this book to yourself, you're going to have to take the steps to get it read by people and to get some feedback and some direction. Nicholas, what's your advice for a first time author trying to get their stuff.
- [62:54]
Nicholas Sparks
Read, self edit, self edit. You know, if you haven't even read the book since you've.
- [63:00]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, you have to go back and read it.
- [63:01]
Nicholas Sparks
I cannot tell you guys how many times I edit everything that I write. I edit every fourth sentence. I go back and edit those four. I edit every clump of two pages. I edit every from the beginning clump of, of 10 pages. Then I go back and I edit from the beginning. Once I hit a section, then my agent edits, then I edit, then I edit some more. I would say every sentence in every one of my novels. I probably examined closely word by word and within the context of a page or chapter 15 times. And I did the same prior to trying to even find a, an agent or an, or a publisher for the notebook. If you're going to try to find an agent who are very selective because lots of people want to have books published or you want to try to get your novel published by a big publishing house who also have lot thousands and thousands and thousands of submissions. You're not doing yourself any favors by handing them, by not handing them the very best possible work that you could do.
- [64:12]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah, yeah, you have to reread your book also. Like, I mean, yeah, you have to go. Cause you're gonna. I know you think like, oh, you're done. You have a book. Everything he says is absolutely true. And also you can give it to a couple people, get some feedback that'll help you with your editing perhaps, but you definitely have to get it out there. Like the fear of showing it to people, you gotta get past that. You have to be open to criticism and constructive critique. Like you just have to be open to it. That's part of the process. So good luck to you and hopefully we'll hear about your book in the future coming out and being published. And that's our episode for today. You guys, everyone go out and get remain the novel by Nicholas Sparks with M. Night, not Chaka Khan Shyamalan. And it's gonna come out as a movie. So you wanna make sure you read the book before you see the movie. That's the order of business out here. Thank you so much, Nicholas. What a pleasure to speak with you.
- [65:07]
Nicholas Sparks
Hey, thank you for having me. And you did. You said his name exact. Listen, thank you, Shyamalan. That is exactly how you say it.
- [65:15]
Chelsea Handler
Wonderful.
- [65:15]
Nicholas Sparks
I'm telling you know how now.
- [65:17]
Chelsea Handler
Yeah. Please let him know, please. Okay. Take care, Nicholas.
- [65:21]
Chelsea's Co-host
Thanks so much.
- [65:21]
Chelsea Handler
Bye. Bye. I just announced all my tour dates. They just went on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be starting in February of next year, so I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now if you want good seats and you want to come see me perform. I will be on the High and Mighty tour.
- [65:44]
Katherine
Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earechelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com.
- [66:07]
Chelsea Handler
You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul?
- [66:12]
Chelsea's Co-host
Yep.
- [66:13]
Chelsea Handler
We've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real and completely normal. That's exactly why Hill's Pet Nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance the tension between multiple pets.
- [66:32]
Chelsea's Co-host
Pets.
- [66:32]
Chelsea Handler
Hill's pet Nutrition gets it because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more. Ready to let go of the guilt. Find the right food@hillspet.com iheart. That's hillspet.com iheart.
- [66:46]
Chelsea's Co-host
You know what's not fun? Waking up at 2am Drenched in sweat. Been there. That's why I started using pod 5 from 8 sleep.
- [66:52]
Chelsea Handler
And let me tell you, it is a game changer.
- [66:55]
Chelsea's Co-host
It's designed with women's help in mind, especially for those of us dealing with hot flashes. Pod 5 is this genius smart mattress cover that fits over any bed and pulls your body before a hot flash can mess with your sleep. And when I need an extra relief. I just tap the bed or use the app to activate hot flash mode. 30 minutes of instant cooling. It's like having a personal climate concierge. It's clinically proven to reduce hot flashes by over 50% and I genuinely sleep deeper and wake up feeling way more refreshed. I love that it's a non medical solution, but it's backed by real data and it feels totally natural. Anyone who listens to this podcast knows that I would like to sleep in a refrigerator and now I can. And if you sleep with a partner, Pod 5 cools each side of the bed independently. So no more kicking someone out for being a human furnace. You both get your perfect temperature from 55 degrees to 110 degrees. So go to 8sleep.com Chelsea use code Chelsea and get $350 off. You can try it risk free for 30 days. Trust me, better sleep starts here.
- [67:58]
Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway now through November 4th. Shop the annual beauty event and save $5 when you spend $25 on select beauty products. Shop in store or online for items like Dove Body Wash Native Body Wash, Cetaphil gentle skin cleanser, Dr. Squatch body wash, Neutrogena Hydro Boost Water Gel, Dial Liquid Hand Soap and Olay Body wash and save $5 when you spend $25 or more. Offer ends November 4th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.
- [68:29]
Chelsea Handler
If you're looking for a wine that's not just delicious but also a total crowd pleaser, let me introduce you to Josh Sellars. This California wine brand has over a dozen award winning wines, from crisp Sauvignon Blancs to velvety Merlots. Josh Sellars has the perfect wine for every occasion. Serving up a juicy steak at your next barbecue. Their Cabernet Sauvignon is the perfect pairing. Unwinding with friends after a long week, you can't go wrong with their Pinot Grigio. With so many delicious wines to choose from, Josh Cellars has something for everyone. Josh Cellars is a proud sponsor of Dear Chelsea. Visit www.joshcellars.com Chelsea and join the Wine Club to get 20% off. Please drink responsibly.
- [69:11]
Katherine
This is an I Heart PO.