Dear Chelsea – "Outta My House with Martha Plimpton" (October 16, 2025)

Episode Overview

In this episode of Dear Chelsea, Chelsea Handler and co-host Catherine Law are joined by acclaimed actor and activist Martha Plimpton. The show follows its classic advice format, fielding listener questions about relationships, boundaries, reproductive rights, and family. The episode’s core theme explores personal autonomy—whether in romantic relationships, family dynamics, or politics—with Martha Plimpton sharing frank insights about her career, her commitment to being "self-coupled," her activism, and her take on navigating life’s challenges.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up, Personal Updates, and Boycotting Big Business

[03:32 – 08:28]

• Chelsea checks in with Catherine, who shares an anecdote about her dog in Spain and reflects on civil disobedience regarding dogs on the beaches.
• Discussion on recent protests, especially the "No Kings" movement (Chelsea mentions a link will be in episode notes).
• Catherine announces a personal boycott of Home Depot and Lowe’s for collaborating with ICE and for privacy concerns.
  • "No one that lives in my house is going to be purchasing anything from Home Depot." (Guest/Caller, 05:45)
  • Both hosts emphasize buying locally and shrinking reliance on big corporations, referencing Neil Young’s call to action.

2. Welcoming Martha Plimpton: Acting, Relocation & Life Changes

[08:28 – 15:44]

• Chelsea likens Martha’s energy to her own: "You kind of remind me of myself. ... Ever since I saw you, that’s my personality right there." (Chelsea, 08:38)
• Martha discusses her role in HBO’s "Task":
  • Praises working with Mark Ruffalo: "He’s the loveliest, funniest, most dear guy. ... Just a great, great human being." (Martha, 09:57)
  • On her approach to roles: "It’s all in the writing, really. ... When you’re working with a guy like Mark or any of these terrific actors, it just feels very, very natural." (Martha, 11:02)
• Chelsea confides about being stuck in LA’s real estate limbo—echoed by Martha preparing to leave New York, her lifelong home:
  • "I’m selling my house in Brooklyn. ... It’s very heavy to know that you’re disconnecting from your hometown. It’s very jarring." (Martha, 13:13)
  • Martha is moving to London for a change of pace, craving kindness and civility she feels has vanished from NYC.

3. Reflections on Independence, Aging & Relationships

[19:08 – 21:43]

• Martha describes herself as "self-coupled":
  • "I’m in a committed relationship with myself." (Martha, 19:22)
  • Celebrates her single life, cherishing solitude and autonomy:
    • "I’m really happy. I don’t want anyone in my house farting, taking up space..." (Martha, 19:28)
    • On female independence after 50: "Anyone who gets divorced or isn’t in a relationship at this age is almost so turned off by the idea of it." (Chelsea, 20:02)
• Candid conversation on women’s sexuality, self-sufficiency, and the pleasure of embracing one’s own company.

4. Martha’s Past Relationships, First Love & Coping With Loss

[21:43 – 23:06]

• Martha recounts her young relationship with River Phoenix:
  • "You just love the person that you’re with. And, you know, I still love him. I miss him every day." (Martha, 22:21)
  • Emphasizes cherishing the experience rather than focusing on tragedy.

5. Upcoming Projects: "East of Eden" & Reimagining Classics

[23:06 – 26:57]

• Martha stars in a new "East of Eden" limited series alongside Florence Pugh and a star-studded cast.
  • Lauds Zoe Kazan’s adaptation: "She’s just done an incredible job adapting this thing...focusing really, on the whole entire life of Kathy." (Martha, 23:21)
  • Shares awe at discovering the novel’s depth: "It’s gotta be...my favorite American novel." (Martha, 23:25)
  • Filming took place in New Zealand.

6. Good and Evil, Forgiveness, and Setting Boundaries

[26:57 – 28:39]

• Philosophizing about whether people are "born evil," referencing public figures and parental influence.
  • "Are you good at forgiving people who have wronged you?" – "I’m good at forgiving people up to a point...But then when that line gets crossed...I say sayonara." (Martha, 27:43)
• Both Martha and Chelsea stress the importance of personal boundaries in friendships and relationships.

7. Bodily Autonomy: Abortion & Trans Rights

[28:40 – 34:19]

• Martha on the intertwined fight for abortion and trans rights:
  • "They’re completely intertwined...They always come in pairs." (Martha, 28:49)
  • "It's a core hatred of women...what they hate so much about a trans person is that person making their own choice..." (Martha, 29:27)
  • Urges listeners to recognize that abortion is still legally accessible in many states—and stresses community responsibility in ensuring reproductive freedom.
• Chelsea underscores the importance of helping women in states with restrictive abortion laws.

Listener Advice Segment – Notable Calls & Responses

1. Fear of Sex After Abortion

[38:57 – 42:33]

• Megan, happily married, fears sex after an abortion and political attacks on reproductive rights.
  • Chelsea: "It’s called birth control, Megan. Hello. Get some. ... Go and get the proper...birth control for you. Period. End of story." (Chelsea, 40:00)
  • Catherine suggests somatic therapy and meditation.
  • Martha: "Maybe it’s your husband’s fault, right? Maybe he’s not communicating...Don’t try not to blame yourself for all this. Blame it on somebody else. Blame it on a man. They never get any blame." (Martha, 40:48)
  • The trio encourages proactive steps—contraception, communication, possibly medical procedures, and emphasizes destigmatizing these conversations.

2. Surviving Living With Mother-in-Law

[42:39 – 52:33]

• Teagan, "resentment-swamp" confession after years of having her mother-in-law live with her family during a failed cottage renovation.
  • Chelsea recognizes her survival and advises: "Now is a great opportunity for you guys to even understand each other better by sitting down together...to give each other the right amount of space." (Chelsea, 47:15)
  • Suggests writing out the desired relationship dynamic, and jointly setting respectful boundaries—"pleasant boundaries."
  • Martha commends Teagan’s fortitude: "I'm over here applauding your fortitude, your strength...You're doing great." (Martha, 49:57)
  • Reframes the upcoming move into the cottage as a fresh start for the whole family.

3. Dating Patterns and Narcissists

[52:43 – 61:48]

• Dev, 25, repeatedly cheated on, struggles with attracting narcissists.
  • Chelsea recommends reading Attached and "It’s Called A Breakup Because It’s Broken," self-awareness, and a break from dating: "Write [red flags] down and put them on your refrigerator and on your mirror...the first red flag is the last red flag." (Chelsea, 54:41)
  • Martha ties attraction to narcissists to early wounds and affirms: "You're looking for something that is exciting and interesting and makes you feel loved...they're the ones who are disappointing, not you." (Martha, 59:26)
  • Emphasizes giving oneself grace and celebrating growth: "Don't bring yourself down...They're the assholes." (Martha, 59:24)
  • Dev demonstrates self-recognition: "I already had the epiphany that I was the common denominator in this pattern. ... And working on that." (Dev, 59:03)

4. Setting Boundaries With a Difficult Parent

[66:03 – 71:20]

• Ali, 30, feels her father’s needy, intrusive, misogynistic tendencies are sabotaging their relationship post-therapy and motherhood.
  • Chelsea’s advice: Send the exact letter to her father in writing: "It’s much more effective...to put something in writing, because saying it out loud, it can be obfuscated...He can reflect and look back on it." (Chelsea, 68:27)
  • Martha: "Once you’ve said it, you can go ‘OK, this is what I was talking about in that letter...goodbye.’ It's very cut and dried...especially with men—you give men an inch and they take a mile." (Martha, 69:40)
  • Both favor clear, unapologetic communication and refusing to argue or negotiate repeatedly.

Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• On self-coupling:
  • "I’m in a committed relationship with myself." – Martha Plimpton [19:22]
• On NYC’s changing vibe:
  • "It’s just mean...I don't want to walk down the street and have people like, shove me. I'm just over it." – Martha Plimpton [16:00]
• On acting and writing:
  • "It’s all in the writing, really...things just sort of fall into place." – Martha Plimpton [11:02]
• On bodily autonomy:
  • "They’re both based in a core hatred of women...They don't like anybody being able to have full self-determination and autonomy." – Martha Plimpton [29:27]
• On women not needing romantic relationships:
  • "Anyone who gets divorced or isn't in a relationship at this age is almost so turned off by the idea of it." – Chelsea Handler [20:02]
• On identifying narcissists:
  • "The first red flag is the last red flag. You don't need to go through this again, because life is about patterns." – Chelsea Handler [54:41]
• On boundaries with men:
  • "With men, I just feel like it’s very important not to leave them an inch. Not an inch, because they will take it...You give men an inch and they take a mile." – Martha Plimpton [69:40]
• On personal growth:
  • "I have not to toot my own horn, but such a bright light that I can share...it's their loss. Boss. Fully, completely, hard stop. He is such a loser." – Dev [61:10]

Other Memorable Moments

• Plenty of characteristic Chelsea sarcasm and humor, e.g., joking about alternative birth control (“melatonin (…) metamucil”) [40:01].
• Candid admissions about how even accomplished, independent women can get “stuck” (physically, emotionally) and the ongoing struggle for boundaries and forgiveness.
• Open discussion about the reality of aging, independence, and finding happiness solo.

Closing Thoughts

Dear Chelsea maintains its fiercely honest, humorous, and compassionate tone in this episode. With Martha Plimpton as a kindred spirit guest, the show underscores the importance of personal boundaries, bodily autonomy, and the power—and peace—of embracing one's single life. Deep advice is balanced with wit, and listeners are left with tools to address sexism, family tension, heartbreak, and self-care.

Segment Timestamps

• [03:32] – Chelsea and Catherine on Spain, activism, and boycotts
• [08:28] – Martha Plimpton’s entrance, reflections on acting and moving
• [19:08] – Self-coupling and solo contentment
• [21:43] – Martha on River Phoenix and first love
• [23:06] – "East of Eden" limited series discussion
• [26:57] – Forgiveness and boundary setting
• [28:40] – Abortion, trans rights, and activism
• [38:57] – Listener email: fear of sex after abortion
• [42:39] – Listener email: living with mother-in-law
• [52:43] – Listener email: repeated narcissists in dating
• [66:03] – Listener email: setting boundaries with a difficult parent

For advice, questions, or to hear more, visit DearChelseaPodcast@gmail.com.