Tio & Tio with Ross Mathews & Wellinthon Garcia-Mathews

Summary

Dear Chelsea – "Tio & Tio with Ross Mathews & Wellinthon Garcia-Mathews"

Episode Date: December 11, 2025
Host: Chelsea Handler
Co-host: Katherine Law
Guests: Ross Mathews (TV host/producer, author) & Dr. Wellinthon Garcia-Mathews (educator, Ross’s husband)

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Dear Chelsea" brings together comedian Chelsea Handler and her guests, Ross Mathews and Dr. Wellington Garcia-Mathews (recent children’s book co-authors and married couple), for candid, spirited discussions about relationships, growth, joy, vulnerability, LGBTQ+ family dynamics, and following your own timeline. The crew fields advice calls from listeners, sharing wisdom and wit about intimacy, creative burnout, and being seen for who you truly are.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Ross & Wellington: Life Changes, Openness, & Home

[06:02 – 11:30]

• Chelsea reflects on her long friendship with Ross, who recounts meeting Wellington in Puerto Vallarta and how a vacation romance led him to uproot his Palm Springs life and move east.
• The couple talks about finding home and redefining life together, with Ross noting:

  "You put a saddle on life and just see where it goes. And so that’s what I did. Yippee. And that brought me here." (Ross, 07:25)

• Discussion about becoming more settled (bedtime routines, liking the countryside, early dinners), and how aging means embracing the habits and quirks that fit you best, not fighting what feels right.
• On letting life surprise you:

  "I think people are so rigid in what they think they should be doing or who they think they should be...and that is exhausting to me." (Ross, 11:16)
  Wellington adds: "I’m all about just getting rid of all that and just doing what you need to do for yourself and whatever makes you happy." (Wellington, 11:58)

2. The Children’s Book: "Tio & Tio"

[12:30 – 16:57]

• The couple shares the inspiration behind "Tio & Tio," based on their nephews’ role as ring bearers at their wedding.
• Wellington (an educator) shaped the book to help kids understand their importance in the family, and added sophisticated vocabulary to spark rich parent/child and classroom conversations.

• "As a teacher ... it’s important to ensure that we have vocabulary in there ... the best way to get kids to motivated to actually read is teaching them background knowledge." (Wellington, 15:53)

3. On Changing Plans, Growth, and Being Open to Life’s Twists

[16:57 – 18:25]

• Wellington speaks about blending lives after Ross relocated, emphasizing empathy and authenticity in relationships.

• "It was important for me to have him really grounded...to feel like this is his home. I know how much he’s left..." (Wellington, 17:16)
  On Ross’s positive influence: "There’s a reason why he always makes me laugh, no matter what. That’s our love language." (Wellington, 18:25)

4. Positivity, Mood, and How You Respond to Life’s Letdowns

[19:01 – 20:44]

• Ross and Chelsea agree that keeping a sense of perspective and humor is crucial.

• "If something sucks, we can say it sucks...but right away, pivot to what can we do to make it better." (Ross, 19:01) "There’s two ways to handle everything...it’s hard to remember that sometimes." (Chelsea, 20:36)

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Listener Advice Calls

5. Call #1: Joey – Emotional Mismatch in Partnership

[35:29 – 41:50]

• Joey, a 39-year-old bartender and recovering addict, seeks help handling frustrations with his emotionally reserved partner, a firefighter.
• Key advice:
  • You can’t force someone to work on their emotions; you either accept them or recognize the relationship may be mismatched.
  • Chelsea cautions against "spiritual narcissism"—working on yourself doesn’t entitle you to demand the same from others if they’re content.
  • Ross’s relatable metaphor:

    "If you were renovating your kitchen...you wouldn’t go into someone else's kitchen and tell them they need to renovate it." (Ross, 38:54)

• On how ketamine therapy helped Joey see himself more kindly:

  "Ketamine just, like, disassociates you from yourself...you can see what other people see." (Joey, 39:40)

6. Call #2: Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong – Burnout from Drag Performance

[43:30 – 49:51]

• Heather, a cis woman who discovered confidence and community through drag, finds herself burnt out post-COVID and asks whether to walk away.
• Ross validates how challenging drag can be and affirms:

  "Drag has brought a lot into your life...what it brought you is still there, whether you're in drag or not." (Ross, 45:59)

• Chelsea suggests taking a break, describing how distance from stand-up comedy helped her find new creativity:

  "If you’re not feeling something, you shouldn’t struggle with it...take a break and walk away." (Chelsea, 47:44)

7. Call #3: Cassidy – Girlfriend’s Difficult ‘Coming Out’ Dynamics

[56:01 – 61:13]

• Cassidy’s girlfriend is coming out to family, but her oldest sister pressures her to keep the relationship secret from their parents.
• Chelsea encourages boundaries (don’t go as just a "friend," don’t catastrophize), but Ross advocates for a harder line:

  "If my very existence is an issue that you’re going to let your sister dictate, then we have a real problem here. It would be a dealbreaker..." (Ross, 58:20)

• Wellington echoes:

  "You have to be authentic...and the fact that she’s not allowing her to be part of the picture is problematic." (Wellington, 58:45)

• The group agrees: authenticity and dignity come first; don’t accept being "put on mute" to please others.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On getting older:

  "I've lived my life as an active senior since I was young. You know what I mean? I love a sensible shoe." (Ross, 10:10)

• Chelsea on personal strength:

  "When I turned 50 this year, that was like, OK, I’m a woman—a full fledged woman. There’s a different maturity. I’m not responsible for your feelings. I don’t overthink things. I’m unshakable at this point." (Chelsea, 32:42)

• On creative process:

  "You’re not just going to start doing something and be amazing at it. ... You have to put in the time to get the results." (Chelsea, 51:11)

• On being proud even when no one’s looking:

  "I like the decisions I make when no one’s watching. Like, I’m proud of who I am when nobody is looking or watching." (Chelsea, 33:33)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Ross & Wellington’s backstory and relocating: 06:02 – 11:30
• "Tio & Tio" book inspiration: 12:30 – 16:57
• Adapting, openness, and growth: 16:57 – 18:25
• Attitude and perspective on life: 19:01 – 20:44
• Joey's call: emotional mismatch in couples: 35:29 – 41:50
• Heather's call: drag burnout and creative process: 43:30 – 49:51
• Cassidy's email: coming out, dignity, boundaries: 56:01 – 61:13

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Tone & Style

The tone is blunt, warm, irreverent, and encouraging. Chelsea, Ross, and Wellington share honest, sometimes ribald humor while centering self-compassion and growth. They're quick to poke fun at themselves, swap stories about aging and quirks, and champion listeners to be authentic and keep moving forward, even if that means taking a break or changing direction entirely.

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Conclusion

This “Dear Chelsea” episode is a lively, relatable deep dive into love, change, boundaries, and self-acceptance. Through friendship, romantic partnership, and kaleidoscopic family structures, Chelsea, Ross, and Wellington remind us all: stay open, don’t settle for being muted, and if you need to pivot, do it joyfully—and maybe with some help from a good hypnotist or a great children’s book.

Transcript

[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Ross Matthews]

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[Chelsea Handler]

So let me get this straight. Your company has data here, there and everywhere, but your AI can't use the.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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[Katherine]

Hi, Chelsea.

[Ross Matthews]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

What's happening? I'm in Whistler.

[Katherine]

You are in Whistler? You know what? I feel very connected to Canadians right now because I have started watching Heated Rivalry. Have you heard about this?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I have not. Is this a Canadian show?

[Katherine]

It does feature hockey players, and it's.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've already lost interest.

[Katherine]

Truly, it is like a romance. It's, like, popping off everywhere right now.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is it stupid? It sounds stupid.

[Katherine]

It's a romance novel, but a TV show, basically, about these two gay hockey players.

[Chelsea Handler]

And she's steamy, like a Canadian gay telenovela.

[Katherine]

Yes, but not a lot of plot, if you catch my drift.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I catch it.

[Katherine]

It is.

[Chelsea Handler]

I catch it. It is very fun. I am in Canada. I represent Canada now. I'm going to be representing Canada in the Olympics with curling. That's a winter sport, and that's something that I excel at. So I just want everyone who's listening to look out for the Winter Olympics in. I think they're in Cortina. So, yes, I'm in Whistler. I haven't skied yet. I think we're going to venture onto the mountain today and just find out where the freezing level is. Yeah, me and the girls. Because I've spent about the last 48 hours watching movies in my cozy, cozy, cozy cabin. And guess who comes up on the couch with me here? Doug. He doesn't do that. He does that here. We went for a huge hike yesterday. Fucking loved it. And he came home, and he was like. He fell asleep in my lap. Wet, Soaking wet.

[Katherine]

I feel like Whistler is his happy place, but also your happy place. Yeah, it's, like, cold, and he's got all his friends there.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I love to bundle up.

[Katherine]

Mm. That's so lovely. Well, I mean, if you can't ski today, at least you can. Apres.

[Joey (Caller)]

Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Well, that's right. That's the girl. That's always an option. Okay, so we have two very special guests today. We have Emmy award winning host and producer, Ross Matthews, and educator and professor, Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews, who is married to Ross. They have a children's book that is out and Ross has also executive produced a short film called Poreless, which is currently shortlisted for an Academy Award nomination. That's exciting. Please, Ross, welcome Ross Matthews and Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews. Hi. I'm sitting here with my good friends Ross Matthews and Wellington Garcia Matthews. They are a very handsome couple. Very handsome gay couple.

[Ross Matthews]

Sorry, ladies.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, they're both taken. Ross we know from. Well, we go way back from Chelsea lately days. And then Ross lately. Yeah, and then Ross lately. And Ross, you know now from. He's on the Drew Barrymore show, he's on RuPaul's Drag Race, and his husband is a professor. What is your title exactly? You're a professor of education.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Oh, well, there we go.

[Ross Matthews]

He's like, he's super smart. He has his doctorate. He, you know, is in schools.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's got his shit together.

[Ross Matthews]

Like a real job.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wellington has his shit together. I can attest to that. Yes. And you guys were living in LA and then you moved here?

[Ross Matthews]

Well, I was living in la. I met Wellington on vacation in Puerto Vallarta back in 2020.

[Chelsea Handler]

On a gay cruise.

[Ross Matthews]

I wish.

[Chelsea Handler]

I. I wish too, if you were.

[Ross Matthews]

On a gay cruise one day. I was landlocked at the time. I was at the Pinnacle, which was a resort in Puerto Vallarta. And I ordered a breakfast burrito at breakfast and then out walked Wellington and he was on vacation too. And then we got married and so.

[Chelsea Handler]

He was your breakfast burrito.

[Ross Matthews]

Ding, ding, ding.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

That's why it's Wellington. Beef Wellington.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh, God.

[Chelsea Handler]

He didn't. It doesn't seem like he did know that.

[Katherine]

Actually.

[Ross Matthews]

No, I knew anyway, that's true. I ordered breakfast burrito and we met and then I moved to New York or I came to New York to see him and then the Drew show happened and I've been here for five years now.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you still have your place in Palm Springs?

[Ross Matthews]

No, we're full East Coast.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, you're full east coast because this was an unexpected transition for you. You were never going to move to New York.

[Ross Matthews]

I had no plans. No. I was Palm Springs. I was calf tan. I was happy hour. I was. I was there and I was happy. And then, you know, you. I say you put a saddle on life and just see where it goes. And so that's what I did. Yippee. And that brought me here.

[Chelsea Handler]

And now you love it.

[Ross Matthews]

I do love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you have a house in Westchester.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. So we were here in the city. But you know me, I've always been like a little like more, more Palm Springs in la. I've always been a little removed. So I like the farmland up there. I love the country. We're in the middle of nowhere. It's like wooded.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's like you're turning into Martha Stewart Ross.

[Ross Matthews]

That's what I mean. Can I tell you something? We live near here. We were just invited to the house. We went to look at the peonies.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, oh, oh, did you? Okay.

[Ross Matthews]

So you dance? Yes. Not even a joke. We live near her and we see her.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, she's very social. She likes active.

[Ross Matthews]

Can I tell you something? She is out and about all the time.

[Chelsea Handler]

Absolutely. You have to be at that age. Listen, if you don't fucking get your shit together and wake up every single day and move around, you're gonna fucking fall apart.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

You're right.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have to get more active. The older you are.

[Ross Matthews]

You active.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like. I prefer day outings and I like to be home at night.

[Ross Matthews]

I like to, for sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't need. I like to drink, have cocktails during the day. I don't love to drink at night and then be hungover. You know what I mean? Like I like daytime events, socializing and then being in bed at a reasonable hour.

[Ross Matthews]

Okay, what time do you make a dinner reservation? Like what is your dinner time?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it depends where I am in the world. If I'm in Spain, then I go out to dinner at 8 o' clock at night. At night if I'm in LA, I can have dinner. I'll turn it into happy hour. Do you know what I mean?

[Ross Matthews]

Absolutely. We like a 5:45 reservation because then we can like dilly dally at dinner and we're still home by 7, right?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

You know, still daylight.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes, yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

But like I was in Ibiza for a couple nights and of course I had dinners at 9pm God, that would.

[Ross Matthews]

Give me anxiety all day.

[Chelsea Handler]

But then you're on a different schedule, like, and then you also wake up at three in the afternoon because you're out till five in the morning. You know what I mean?

[Ross Matthews]

It's a whole different when you get older though. Like my wake up time is 5:30 and I can go to bed at 9pm Or I can go to bed at midnight and I wake up at five. Oh, that's you know what I'm saying?

[Chelsea Handler]

That's aggressive.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, it is aggressive. So I'm very specific about bedtime and at dinner time. And I don't. I don't go outside the. I don't color outside the lines, Chelsea.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's funny, as we get older, like, all the things that kind of either cement into habits or don't. Like, I went through a phase where I would wake up. Like, I'm an early. I'm definitely a morning person. And most people would think the opposite is true. They think, oh, she'll be up at night for a long period of time. I would wake up every morning, 6 o', clock, 6:30 in the morning, wherever I was in the world.

[Ross Matthews]

It doesn't surprise me because you achieve a lot. And I think people that do that wake up early.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, thank you. You're welcome. But now I'm going through this phase and maybe it's because I'm a little jet lagged and I've been traveling, but now I'm going through this phase where I just like getting up early. Like, I will get up early, but I have to set an alarm. Like I never have to set an alarm. Like I just know when it's time to go.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, but like, I would. I crave sleeping in same. Like, I want to sleep in till like 10 or 10 or 11.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Nothing past that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Because then I get a little anxiety.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, that's never going to happen. I accept that. I have lived my life as an active senior since I was young. You know what I mean? I love a sensible shoe. I walk.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you take Boniva?

[Ross Matthews]

Not yet, but fingers crossed. And who doesn't love a Werther's? I love a hard candy, a caramel. But I also.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you still allowed to have hard candies? I thought older people are not allowed to have hard candies.

[Ross Matthews]

Take the dentures out, Chelsea. It's easy.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's nice for a couple of other things, too.

[Ross Matthews]

Taking the dentist.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you know what that's called when you're called a blowjob?

[Ross Matthews]

Do you know what that's called if someone takes a denture out and gives you one? It's called a velvet rub. I learned that in Palm Springs. Oh, yeah? Yeah. You like that? It's true. You're welcome.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's pretty. It is pretty and romantic.

[Ross Matthews]

No, but I never enjoy. Anyway, the point is this. I love the way I live my life. Isn't that funny when you get to a certain age? For me, it was like right now, like, mid-40s is like, I always thought, God, I should be living a different way. And I realized, like, no, this is how I live it. And I really love it.

[Chelsea Handler]

From afar, watching your maturation and like, life since I've known you for over 20 years.

[Ross Matthews]

Weird.

[Chelsea Handler]

I think it's great that you've adapted to all of this stuff. You kind of have just gone whichever way the wind blows and, you know, and that's the way you should live life.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. I don't wanna fight it. I don't wanna fight the universe. I think you should just sort of pay attention to what opens. And if I think if you're present and you make the most of it and you pivot, that it can take you. Life can take you extraordinary ways. I think people are so rigid in what they think they should be doing or who they think they should be or who someone wants them to be. And that is exhausting to me.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

How do you see it, Wellington? Like, how do you look at, like. Cause I think this is an interesting conversation, especially for our listeners. Cause so many people are so rigid with their goals and they're, this is what's gonna happen by the time I'm 25, and this is what's gonna happen. And then I'm gonna be married by the time I'm 30, and then I'm gonna have a baby by this time. And da, da, da. And I find all of that rigidity and to be very hostile. Well, it's also. It's narrow. It's narrow minded.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. And I think you miss out while you talk.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

I totally agree with you. I think it's limiting, you know, because then you're ultimately just caught between a. A little box that you're trying to, like, check off all the time. And so, you know, I'm all about, like, just getting rid of all that and just doing what you need to do for yourself and whatever makes you happy. Right.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. I do think it's important to be goal oriented, but then I just think you will miss stuff if you're not paying attention to every everything and open to anything.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Being open, though, like, you don't have to. Plans can change and even goals can change.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. And by the way, you can change and you can change your mind.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right, But. And how do you feel? Well, you guys just wrote this book, first of all, congratulations.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Called. Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's called Tio and Tio.

[Ross Matthews]

So cute. It's. Which means uncle and uncle, Right? In Spanish.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yes. Because you're.

[Chelsea Handler]

Diaz Anos.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Oh, wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

Pero no hablo perfectamente. Pero esto e prendiendo.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

No. Muy bien.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Jo probog todos los dios.

[Ross Matthews]

So, yeah, fill me in.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I'm just trying, like, I try really hard to learn the language. I'm not there yet, but I get better and better. My issue, I mean, I take classes all the time and I go through phases where I'm just constantly immersing myself in Spanish.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

I.

[Chelsea Handler]

But my problem, I can understand it, I can read it, I can write it, but I can't speak quickly back and forth.

[Ross Matthews]

I love that you're doing this.

[Chelsea Handler]

The one thing I could do in English, that's like the easiest thing in the world. It's like because I'm such a grammarian, I have to say everything perfectly. And as soon as I get into a conversation and it goes too quick, I'm like, so you can write it.

[Ross Matthews]

Because you can delete and perfect?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, I can write it because I am looking at the whole scope of things and I can really take my time. So if I were talking, I have to say, speak like, jotengo necesitar hablar despacio. Like I have to speak slowly to get all the words right. So I can't just like math it up.

[Ross Matthews]

I think it's so hot that, you know, I love that he knows Spanish. When he speaks Spanish, it's so fast.

[Chelsea Handler]

And good and I'm totally lost. That's where I'm going to get at one point. I'm never giving up, so I'll get there.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Well, I'll be your private tutor.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you.

[Ross Matthews]

I appreciate it.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Anytime.

[Ross Matthews]

I can't even roll my R's. Do you know that? I believe that that's as good as I can do, so.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, ain't it not hot? Well, wait, first I want to talk about the book.

[Katherine]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

So Tio and Tio. It's two uncles. You wrote it for little children who have two uncles.

[Ross Matthews]

Well, it's about. It's not even about us. It's about our nephews. It's a true story about our nephews who were our ring bearers at our wedding. And Wellington saw them doing something at our wedding day and told me after. And do you want to tell them?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yeah. So they were literally so nervous walking down the aisle, like practicing rehearsing. And I saw my brother in law kind of just saying, you know, we have to rehearse, we have to practice. And they were just literally, no lie, just nervous out of their minds, like.

[Ross Matthews]

Practicing, like how do we walk? How do we do it? And the fact that they wanted to take it so seriously and wanted to contribute to the wedding in, like, a profound way, like, they really wanted to do a good job for us. We just thought that was, like, kind of a great lesson for kids, that no matter your age or the impact that you're allowed to have as a kid, you matter to your family in a big way. And taking that role seriously, we thought was a great lesson in Wellington as an educator, that there's a lot of meat on this bone in terms of having a conversation with kids about their importance and their value and.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, not only of their importance and value, but it's also nice that they cared so much about it.

[Ross Matthews]

Right, Correct.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, that's also a good lesson. To care about something means. Or to be nervous about something means that you do care about it.

[Ross Matthews]

Exactly. And that it's okay to be nervous and it's okay to take it seriously. And that, you know, you can have an important role no matter what. What age you are or whatever role you play in the family. And it was great to write it. And, you know, he's, like, really smart at what he does. And so when we decided to write the children's book, I was like, I know how to write a story. Let's go. And I was missing out on so much. When he would read what we wrote, he's like, there's a lot more conversations you can have in terms of.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Well, like, as a teacher, you know, as a primary teacher that I used to be, it's important to ensure that we have vocabulary in there. Right. So that way our kids are exposed. So the best way to kind of really get kids to motivated to actually read is teaching them background knowledge. Right. And also bringing up vocabulary. And so in the book, I made sure to, like, use big words so that way the parents can actually have a talking point, you know, or teach us to have an actual talking point. So a lot of things are in there, especially, like, even science terms that I put in there about whales and Ballenas. So those kind of things just come alive in the story. Especially the illustrations that Tommy Doyle did. They're just phenomenal, honestly. The colors just. They just sing.

[Ross Matthews]

Are you, like. When he talks about kids, it's. Right. I don't know how to talk to kids at all. I get anxiety. You know what kids always say to me, are you a boy or a girl?

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, my God.

[Ross Matthews]

All the time. I know. So I'm always like, hi. I try to butch it up. For kids, you know, so they're not confused.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but you're butching it up is.

[Ross Matthews]

Basically like an angry woman.

[Chelsea Handler]

Doris Day, right?

[Ross Matthews]

No, I turn into Bea Arthur.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Praise be.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wellington. Tell me about, like, to circle back to what we were talking about, about, like, taking life and being open when there are changes. Tell me about, like, your relationship with Russ. Did that happen for you? Did that change any of your plans in life? Because you had your career before you met him, you were already living here.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

So it was very serendipitous that he actually got that show to come here.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yeah, it really. I mean, it worked out in terms of my life and what's changed. I still, you know, have the same kind of like nine to five kind of schedule. I work all year round, so not much has changed. The only thing that has changed is that we've been relocating, you know, in terms of finding that place that we can really call home, you know, and it was important for me to have him really grounded, you know, and to feel like this is his home. Cause I know how much he's left behind in order to bring himself here. So I wanted to make sure that that was just part of the equation. And so he's just phenomenal, as you know. He's genuine, the sweetest person I've ever, ever have encountered in my life. And that's. And I'm not lying. He's hysterical. Hilarious. Ross Matthews. There's a reason why he's always. Always makes me laugh, no matter what. You know, that's our love language, honestly. And I think that's what really keeps us together. And he's so positive. And honestly, I thought that it was all, like, a gimmick, but no, this is him. This is him 100%. And I really do enjoy that.

[Ross Matthews]

Wouldn't it be. That's so sweet, baby. Wouldn't it be fun, though, if I was awful, like, when it all turned off?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sure some people are, though. I'm sure some people are acting nice. I mean, hello.

[Ross Matthews]

We're, like, nodding, because I think we know.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I mean, everyone knows that, you know, there's a big facade that people put on. So it's really nice to know that there is a genuineness, that you can actually be an upbeat person and mean it. You're not faking it, you know?

[Ross Matthews]

Totally. And not a Pollyanna. I don't want to be a Pollyanna. If something sucks, we can say it's sucks, you know, but, like, right away, pivot to what can we do to make it better. You know, I've always. It served me well to always sort of vibrate in a place of happiness. It's just always.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

It's really us.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. And by the way, he does too. And I think it's important to me to be with somebody who is very handsome. That, you know, that's always number one. Good looking. No. But really is fluid in their energy. Does that make sense? Like somebody who's, like, really rigid in who they are and want it their way. And that's not fun. It's not for me. It's not. Because I like to sort of say, like, how do we feel about this? Let's talk it out and work it out. Oh, God, you would hate being with me, Chelsea. You would hate it. I think.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I forgot I wanted to. Yeah.

[Ross Matthews]

I mean.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I don't have the attention span for that.

[Ross Matthews]

Do you think if I was straight back in the day that you and I would have hooked up?

[Chelsea Handler]

I can't even imagine that possibly.

[Ross Matthews]

You can't. You never thought about it late at night?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's very hard for me to suspend my disbelief in such a way.

[Katherine]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

All right. But I mean, I do appreciate. I do appreciate having the attitude of, like, not the attitude of gratitude.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

A.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's. That. That is true. Life is better when you're in a better mood, period.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

As soon as you're in a shitty mood, everything goes wrong.

[Ross Matthews]

And you can control that a little bit. You can perspective, a couple breaths. You can decide how you react to things.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, if you, you know, you missed your flight, like, there's two ways to handle that. If you fucking want to throw a fit, then you're gonna be for a long time. You're going to affect other people in a negative way. You're going to, you know, or you can be like, whoopsie doodle, I missed my flight. Now what?

[Ross Matthews]

Let's go to the bar.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let's go to the bar. Let's go get a book. Or, let's go have a good day at the airport.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, so, like, there's two ways to handle everything. But it's hard to remember that sometimes.

[Ross Matthews]

It is, it is. But I don't know, it's really served me so well, I think, in life.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, absolutely. As we can see. And so what was your biggest thing that you. Was there anything when you guys got together that you had to overcome that was like, that's fun.

[Ross Matthews]

Trying to think, what do we fight about? Like, what's our biggest Wellington's big penis?

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

And Your children.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Oh my God.

[Ross Matthews]

Was that a big fight?

[Chelsea Handler]

Was that a fight? I'm sorry, we're talking about a children's book now.

[Ross Matthews]

Madam, do you know the worst thing that I do?

[Chelsea Handler]

What?

[Ross Matthews]

So I have a small chihuahua, of course, Audrey. She has bold eyebrows. She's named after Audrey Hepburn. And I take her out for poopsies and pee pees every day, multiple times through the back door. And I lock it when I leave, when I bring come back in, you know, because I, I am a protector and I want to make sure everyone's safe. And so whenever Welly goes out to the pool, I lock the door, you know, and so he tries to come in and multiple times a week he's pounding on the back door to be let in because instinctually I just lock it. That is the most annoying thing that I do.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

It really is.

[Chelsea Handler]

That is annoying.

[Ross Matthews]

That is annoying.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm like, it's just us, seriously, right?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

What is wrong?

[Chelsea Handler]

So can you stop doing that?

[Ross Matthews]

I tell myself to stop doing it and he doesn't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Maybe you can get hypnotized. That's my new answer to everybody who's got problems.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh my God. I would get hypnotized all the time. I don't want to do it like on a cruise.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's a hypnotist for everything.

[Ross Matthews]

But I have to, I would want an independent party watching me get hypnotized. I don't be alone in a room with somebody hypnotizing me and then wake up. What happened? I want it filmed. I want you to.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm sure there's that too. You could probably hire a third party person that watches you get hypnotized so that you don't get like finger blasted while you're getting hypnotized.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Oh my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know what I mean? There has to be.

[Ross Matthews]

Do you know how long since I've heard the term finger blasted? I want to thank you for bringing it back.

[Chelsea Handler]

No problem.

[Ross Matthews]

Single handedly.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know.

I was with this woman the other night, this German woman who was telling me that she had this adult onset fear of flying, that she's flown all over the world and she's never had an issue. And she's like, and now I'm scared to death of flying. And I'm like, you have to go get hypnotized. And she's like, hypnotized?

[Ross Matthews]

What do you mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm like, there's hypnotists all over the world that help you with flying, especially if it's an adult onset thing. Like, if it just started. The sooner it start. Like, the sooner you nip it in the bud, the sooner you can get rid of it, is my philosophy.

[Ross Matthews]

Sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

I would think, if you all of a sudden have this crazy fear that you can. Anyway, this woman emailed me this morning, and she's like, oh, my God, I found a hypnotist in Germany.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

I'm going.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's three sessions, three separate weeks. I have to go for three weeks in a row. And she's like, thank you so much. I had no idea about hypnotists. And I'm like, really? I'm like, are we just only getting. Are there only hypnotists in Los Angeles?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Apparently, I've never heard of.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, what about Switzerland? They've gotta be up to some shit like that, too.

[Ross Matthews]

But it's not the first place I go to to think hypnotist. Have you had a hypnotist experience that really worked for you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, for smoking. I mean, now I'll smoke once in a while, but I did smoke for 10 years.

[Ross Matthews]

And the hypnotist did it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, three times. I went to Dr. Carrie Gaynor in.

[Katherine]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he was for smoking, but I'm sure he did planes, too. You know what I mean?

[Ross Matthews]

Can I ask a question? When you're hypnotized, do you feel what's happening? Are you aware of everything as it's going? I was, but you are involuntarily responding to them.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're in a very relaxed state. So while you're, like, going, okay, 10, 9, 8, you're going down the stairs. You're going down another set of stairs. They're just getting you to the most relaxed state. And you're still conscious. Like, you're aware of what's going on. You're just trusting the technique. Like, you're just. Like. It's not like he could have fucked me and I wouldn't have known I was awake. But choosing to go along with it. Like, I was like, there's no way this is gonna work. But it did. And on the third time. The third time is the time where you're done. Like, then you quit smoking. Like, the first time, he tells you about how disgusting smoking is, blah, blah, blah. You're gross. You're polluting your lungs. You're putting. You might as well be, like, breathing in carcinogens. You're like, oh, my God, I feel like such a dirty whore.

[Ross Matthews]

The second time, you're gross.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then on the third time, he's like, okay, you won't I'm like, can I hang out with my friends that smoke? Do I have to avoid them? He's like, no, no, no. You'll never want to have a cigarette. And for 10 years I really did it. Wow. Now once in a while, if I'm in Europe and people are smoking, I'll smoke a cigarette here and there.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, that doesn't count.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I don't think you can get cancer in Europe. At least that's what I keep telling myself.

[Ross Matthews]

This is fascinating, Chelsea, that you did. I want to try it.

[Chelsea Handler]

But you could do it for all sorts of things. Like if you people have, like, I have arachnophobia or I don't have arachnophobia. I have snake. I'm scared of snakes.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. I don't like that.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I'm not going to a hypnotist about that. Cause it's not like I'm running into snakes all the time.

[Ross Matthews]

Exactly.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Who are you?

[Ross Matthews]

Steve Irwin? It's not happening, right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, I've actually been to Irwin. Okay. So are you.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh, wow. Okay. I love that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I relate most to her.

[Ross Matthews]

Understood.

[Chelsea Handler]

Out of the family. You could go for, like, if you're a picker, you know, you pick your skin and your nails and you need to get hypnotized for that.

[Ross Matthews]

I would do it.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's all sorts of bad habits, basically.

[Ross Matthews]

I wonder if they have a hypnotist specifically for people who lock the door behind their Chihuahua. You know what I'm saying?

[Katherine]

I think you just need to hide a key for that.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Good point. I think we need to change some key card.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or you could get a collar for Ross to wear. And every time the door is locked, you zap Ross.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yes.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like a Chihuahua collar so that you don't go out of bounds. That's actually much quicker way to get to the point because I bet you he won't make that mistake more than twice.

[Ross Matthews]

Or I'll just keep making it because I like it a little bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

Or you put the collar in a different area and.

[Ross Matthews]

But I would try hypnosis. That sounds fun.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I think. Well, now ozempic or whatever, GLS5, whenever anyone's on, I take Tirzepatide. But now those things kind of cut out all of the bad habits too. So if you have, like, if you're a sugar addict, if you're an alcoholic, if you're a drug addict, a lot of people take those and then they don't. They don't have, like. I know.

[Ross Matthews]

For reals.

[Chelsea Handler]

When I started taking Ozempic I completely could not drink vodka. I was so grossed out. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not gonna stop drinking. Like, I'm gonna find a workaround.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, get this medicine out of me.

[Chelsea Handler]

So then I started drinking gin tanquera, and I was like, oh, I can drink this, so I'll drink that.

[Ross Matthews]

Really?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. So it kind of like changes your appetite for things.

[Ross Matthews]

Interesting.

[Chelsea Handler]

But if you're an addict, it can make you really not want anything.

[Ross Matthews]

Fascinating.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that's good. You know, I mean, people, that's the biggest problem, I think, is the food, alcohol, drug, sugar addiction, all that shit. Right.

[Ross Matthews]

Thank God I shared that riveting Chihuahua locked door story that brought us all the way here.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. You know, it's a full circle moment.

[Ross Matthews]

What a risk I took. And it paid off.

[Chelsea Handler]

Time to take a Chihuahua break. We'll be right back with Tom. We'll be right back with Tom Brokaw, everybody, and Tom Selleck. Okay, we'll be right back with Tom and his Chihuahua.

[Katherine]

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[Chelsea Handler]

It'S gotta be Tide. Make your home smell as good as it looks with Purifor, the smart fragrance diffuser that lets you control your scent from anywhere. Choose from hundreds of premium fragrances, schedule your favorites, and set the perfect mood for every moment. And right now, get yours free when you subscribe to 2 cents for 12 months. Don't wait. This limited time offer won't last. Try it risk free for 30 days [e-mail] youm know what's not done? Waking up at 2am Drenched in sweat. Been there.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

That's why I started using pod 5 from 8 sleep.

[Chelsea Handler]

And let me tell you, it is a game changer.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

It's designed with women's help in mind, especially for those of us dealing with hot flashes. Pod 5 is this genius smart mattress cover that fits over any bed and pulls your body before a hot flash can mess with your sleep. Sleep. And when I need an extra relief, I just tap the bed or use the app to activate hot flash mode. 30 minutes of instant cooling. It's like having a personal climate concierge. It's clinically proven to reduce hot flashes by over 50% and I genuinely sleep deeper and wake up feeling way more refreshed. I love that it's a non medical solution, but it's backed by real data and it feels totally natural. Anyone who listens to this podcast knows that I would like to sleep in a refrigerator and now I can. And if you sleep with a partner, Pod 5 cools each side of the bed independently. So no more kicking someone out for being a human furnace. You both get your perfect temperature from 55 degrees to 110 degrees.

[Chelsea Handler]

Go to eightsleep.com Chelsea use code Chelsea and get up to $700 off Pod 5. You can try it risk free for 30 days. Trust me, better sleep starts here. From nursing and healthcare to business and it Rasmussen has a range of programs to fit your goals and passion no matter what your day to day looks like. Rasmussen's allow you to balance school with life while you pursue your degree. So if you're ready to pursue your education goals, Rasmussen is ready to help you take that next step. Head on over to Rasmussen Edu and check out the opportunities waiting for you. Your future is a bright one. Rasmussen University can help you get there. Since I want the absolute best for my chow chow Doug, I am making the switch to Ollie. Your dog's well being starts with their food and that's why Ollie delivers fresh human grade food that your dog will love. So head to ollie.com Chelsea and use code Chelsea to get 60% off your welcome kit when you subscribe today. Plus they offer a happiness guarantee on the first box. So if you're not completely satisfied, you'll get your money back. That's Ollie. O-L-L-I-E.com Chelsea and enter code Chelsea to get 60% off your first box.

And we're back.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

We are back.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, we're back with Wellington and Ross, who are a happily married couple. How many years have you guys been married now?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

I got three years now. Oh, we've been together five years?

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh. Feels like longer than that.

[Ross Matthews]

It does. It feels like. I mean, it doesn't seem like a short time, five years together, but I do feel like life really began when I met Wellington. For me, really in terms of it all coming together and being myself and finding home. Yeah, really finding home. Great way to say it. Really.

[Chelsea Handler]

I feel that way too because when I think of you, I always think of Wellington like you're a fixture. You're like a cup. You know, it's not one or the other. You guys come Together as a package. And I understand what you're saying when you say life began with him, because I think a lot of people who are in really healthy, grounded relationships do feel like that's when their life began. I remember being young and not thinking my life was gonna begin until I was successful. Like that, for me, was a marker. I'm like, oh, this is all just practice until I begin my real life.

[Ross Matthews]

Totally. And that's not to discount who we were before we met each other. All of that was important. We mattered. We were there. But in terms. I mean, RuPaul told me one time that life begins really when you're 40. And I didn't understand what that meant until I was 40 and I happened to meet Wellington then as well. And it really is about you. You have made all the mistakes, you know, and so you've touched the stove, you know, it was hot. You're not gonna touch it again. You stop doing the.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, most of us.

[Ross Matthews]

Most of us.

[Chelsea Handler]

Some people don't stop doing anything.

[Ross Matthews]

Well, when I think that's when you become a grown up.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Like, blocking doors.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. When you start doing. Stop doing the shit that hurts you, that's when I think you really become a grownup.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I feel like when I turned 50 this year, that was like, okay, I'm a woman. Like, a full fledged woman. Like, you can't tell me. Not that you could tell me what to do before, but there's a different maturity. Like, I'm not responsible for your feelings. I don't overthink things. I'm not overanalyzing anything. You're not gonna break me. I'm too strong and fearful.

[Ross Matthews]

So what is that? You describe what it's like, but what does it feel like to be in that place, to have that sort of power?

[Chelsea Handler]

Just feels so strong. Like, I just feel like muy fuerte, you know, like. Like. Like a tree. Like, I just feel like a real, like, sturdy tree. Like, I can be annoyed, I could be tired. I can get bad news. I can be all of those things. But you're really like, I'm kind of unshakable at this point. And not kind of. I am unshakable at this point. Like, you're not gonna get me. You know what I mean? You're not gonna knock me over. Before I felt like, oh, I could go through phases where I was weak or I was emotional, or I would be fragile, and it's like, no, no, no, I'm not. Even if I'm experiencing one of those things. That is just a little bl. Like it's not going to affect me.

[Ross Matthews]

No, it doesn't mean. No, it's not a point of weakness or someone could shatter something. It's just you're feeling it, but it's in the strength. I get it, what you're saying.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I notice it now more than I feel this way when I meet people who are very fragile or seemingly vulnerable. More vulnerable. I'm like, oh, I hope this woman gets to that place where she understands her essence and your worth and yeah, your worth. Like there's enough. You've gotten so far in this life and it's because of your actions.

[Ross Matthews]

Absolutely. And I think if people are listening to this and they're feeling weak or fragile, like, just know that that's not a state that they have to be in forever. You will eventually get to a place of strength. Right.

[Chelsea Handler]

And you also start making like, I like the decisions I make when no one's watching.

[Ross Matthews]

Ooh, that's good.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like I'm proud of who I am when nobody is looking or watching. That I do the right thing, that I'm morally correct, that I'm actually doing what's best for everyone, that I don't lie, that I don't try to get out of things by lying. Like I'm always up front and I respect myself because of that.

[Ross Matthews]

Uh huh. I know what I mean. It's like when I see a piece of garbage or something and I pick it up and no one's around and I think, God, I'm good. I. Yes, so good.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's right. That's exactly the kind of shit I'm talking about.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Your deed of the day.

[Ross Matthews]

What?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Your good deed of the day.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. You know, but it really is. Those little things matter even if nobody's looking, you know, in terms of what kind of person you want to be.

[Chelsea Handler]

I guess maybe in my head I feel like somebody's looking, so I'm.

[Ross Matthews]

Maybe somebody is. You're looking?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I guess my. I'm the one who's looking. Like, I'm always like, oh, okay. Cause I'm like, God, you know, when you think about that, I think there's a period of time in your life where you're starting to. You wanna be accountable, but you're like, who am I accountable to? And I think the answer is you're accountable to yourself. Really?

[Ross Matthews]

It's so true. I do that all the time where I tell him something that I'm doing. Because if we're out and we go to dinner, I Have a martini. We come home and I have like, I don't wanna hang over tomorrow. So I'll pour. Just, I just want like sparkling water with lemon. But I'll say to him, I'm not having a drink. I'm just having sparkling water with lemon. He's like, okay, okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Do it.

[Ross Matthews]

Why are you telling me to do it?

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

To live on the edge. Go ahead.

[Ross Matthews]

But I was like, I need to say, like, look, I'm doing the right thing. Isn't that annoying?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, first of all, you can tell it's not a drink. Cause there's no fucking ice in it, right?

[Ross Matthews]

Well, no, I still put ice in everything.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you do?

[Ross Matthews]

I don't like a hot beverage ever.

[Chelsea Handler]

No, no, no, no, honey, you don't have to tell me twice.

[Ross Matthews]

Thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

But when it's cold sparkling water, that's the only thing I don't need ice in. If it's really cold sparkling water, I don't need the ice. Cause I find that the ice dilutes the bubbles.

[Ross Matthews]

Fine with it. Add more. You know, I can be in the middle.

[Chelsea Handler]

I respect it.

[Ross Matthews]

Of a blizzard. And I'm having an iced Americano.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't want. Listen, I just got back from Europe. You don't have to talk to me about it. Ice. You want to bring your own? I want. Yeah, the icebergs are melting and my big idea is to turn those into fucking ice cubes.

Okay, what do we have going on?

[Katherine]

Katherine, we have a couple great callers. Our first caller is Joey.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Katherine]

He says, dear Chelsea, I'm listening to your podcast while doing my ketamine therapy dog walk and I'm wondering if you have any advice for me. I'm a 39 year old bartender and recovering drug addict and my partner is a 35 year old firefighter, paramedic, slash walking, Excel spreadsheet. He doesn't seem to be interested in getting in touch with his quote unquote feelings. And I've been pushing him to connect and all that to benefit our relationship over the past six years. But how do I, an Audi hd, emotionally unstable piece of swamp trash, convince him, a successful and literal lifesaver of the importance of emotional vulnerability and connection? He has literally said, it just sucks that the thing I need to work on, quote unquote, happens to be what makes me so good at my job.

[Joey (Caller)]

Job?

[Katherine]

Am I crazy? He thinks that being a dismissive avoidant has given him a leg up in his career. I think he's robbing himself. In the long run, this man is Amazing. And I love him to death. However, I can't seem to gain any traction with the idea that emotions are important. I'm not asking him to cry while he intubates a patient. I just think he could be a better human partner, medic and leader if he were able to allow himself to feel with boundaries instead of not at all. I don't know. Maybe it's the K. Should I lace a smoothie with lsd? Cheers, Joey.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi, Joey, how are you?

[Joey (Caller)]

Good. How are you?

[Chelsea Handler]

Good. Ross and Wellington are here today.

[Ross Matthews]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Eric and Bethlehem.

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. Hi.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Hey, guys.

[Ross Matthews]

Hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, well, they can speak to being in a couple, but, I mean, it's really not your job to get somebody else to figure out what their emotional mindset is or their growth mindset is gonna be like. Everyone has to kind of come on to that in their own way. And if they decide to do it. Some people never do it, but it's really hard to be told. You have to get better with your emotions.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, right. Listen, I think it's great that you have sort of said to your partner, like, hey, this is what. I think you'd benefit from this. But it's kind of up to him to be who he or him or I guess him. Right? Yeah. I just assume, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

We don't have any straight men calling.

[Ross Matthews]

Into this podcast.

But it's up to them to be who they are. And, like, the truth is you kind of have to, like, decide that you just love them as is, too. If they don't have any growth, you know, you can encourage it, but you can't dictate it.

[Joey (Caller)]

Yeah, I like, work on myself so much. And so when I see someone who's just like, nope, I like me the way I am. If you want someone more emotionally available, you know, go find them. I'm like, really?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, there's also this thing with, like, a spiritual. Like, I'm not saying you're a spiritual narcissist, but there can be people, when they're working on themselves, they can kind of have a superiority complex thinking, oh, look at all this work I'm doing. You're taking ketamine walks with the dog. You're in touch with yourself emotionally. Like, oh, why you. You need to work on yourself. It's kind of like you don't get to tell somebody else what. What work they need to do. If you're gonna be in that relationship with him, you can leave him and then be like, oh, yeah, you're not mature enough or spiritual enough or emotionally in touch. With yourself enough. But if you're in the relationship and you're choosing to be there and you're doing your work, if anything, you should be focusing on your work, and that's it. And that's gonna lead you to a place of either acceptance or you're gonna be like, oh, I reject this relationship. I need somebody who's more in touch with their emotions.

[Ross Matthews]

It's almost like. Like, just to relate it to something. If you were, like, renovating your house and you were really proud of your new brand new kitchen, and you went into somebody else's house and kitchen and told them they needed to renovate it, it's just not fair, you know what I'm saying? Like, that's their kitchen, and they've got their choice with how to decorate. And so, you know, I think take care of you and decide if you can live with somebody like that.

[Joey (Caller)]

Yeah, no, that. That makes sense. I hear you on that. For sure.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. I. I like your kitchen, by the way. I can see it.

[Joey (Caller)]

I've done tons of work on my kitchen.

[Ross Matthews]

You don't need to do a single thing.

[Joey (Caller)]

You can leave.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, understood.

[Chelsea Handler]

How long have you been taking ketamine?

[Joey (Caller)]

Probably like a year.

[Chelsea Handler]

How frequently do you take it?

[Joey (Caller)]

Maybe twice a month.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, well, that sounds good.

[Ross Matthews]

How has that helped you? I'm not. I don't know the benefits of it necessarily. Can you tell us?

[Joey (Caller)]

So, for me, like, I've always just hated myself a lot. And. And you get these lenses that you built up, and ketamine just, like, disassociates you from yourself. And all those lenses that you have, like, idiot, stupid, whatever, whatever you've got that you see yourself warped, you know, it takes them all away. So you can see what other people see, I guess. And it can be really powerful.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, that's beautiful. Wow.

[Ross Matthews]

I'm so glad you're able to see what we see. We've known you for 35 seconds, and I. I don't think any of those words. Okay. So just so you know, I'm glad. I'm glad you can see that.

[Joey (Caller)]

I appreciate it. It has come to that point where I have to either accept it, accept this man, which I. I always have. It just does get frustrating because I'm like. I go to therapy every fucking week and, like, look for things to fix about me.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Right, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

But that's you. And also, like, some people don't run into that roadblock at the time that you want them to run into that roadblock. Like, people only do the work on themselves. When they realize something's not working for them, they're not just gonna go. Like, if everything's going great for him and his boyfriend is saying, oh, you need to go to therapy. That's. That's not enough of a reason. Unless there's major problems between the two of you. And then he would have a choice about whether or not he wants to go talk about it. But, like, it's really not up to us to tell other people what to do with their emotions.

[Joey (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Ross Matthews]

I think you could suggest once or twice. But then we just have to love people who they are. You know, It's.

[Joey (Caller)]

It's when it, like, you know, pops up. Say, like, intimacy, Right. Is really hard if you're not willing to be vulnerable. So. So I crave that intimacy. And that's whenever I kind of end up mentioning something about God, like, I just want you to be.

Here, present, emotionally vulnerable.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Joey (Caller)]

And he has a really hard time doing it and.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Joey (Caller)]

And he doesn't want to change that because he's an amazing hero.

[Ross Matthews]

Wow. Well, I mean, it's also. Maybe you define vulnerability differently, you know, and you can't dictate that for somebody else. So I would just work on maybe. Maybe just seeing him for who he is and value him for that.

[Joey (Caller)]

Yeah, I know. I do love this person. I just. I knew that I needed some outside perspective, so.

[Ross Matthews]

Well, I hope we gave it to you.

[Joey (Caller)]

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay. All right. Thanks for calling, Joey.

[Katherine]

I feel like there often is, like, one partner who is a little bit more emotional and one who's less emotional, like my parents. My dad is much more emotional than my mom is. I'm more emotional than my husband is.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, definitely there's different levels of emotion, but there's also being intense with your emotions. That's true certain people, because that's a total lack of intimacy too. Before I went to therapy, I didn't have any intimacy with any of my partners. There was no intimacy because I wasn't vulnerable. I was invulnerable. So, like, those things do go together. But some people go through life like that, and that doesn't seem to be a problem. I mean, for them, you know, you have to hit a wall of some sort.

[Ross Matthews]

You do. You absolutely do. I mean, well, that's life, right? That's what we were just talking about earlier in the show is the. You making those mistakes, you learning those lessons and becoming who you wanna be. Do you feel totally vulnerable now? Are you able to go to that place when you're with somebody?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. But I mean, I could go to that place with somebody that's a non romantic partner, but I'd have to really be. Yeah, I can go there with anybody.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Really.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I don't have to be in love with somebody to be like vulnerable or like. Yeah, but I'm also. I'm just not that vulnerable.

[Ross Matthews]

Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. That's why I'm saying you have to define it for each individual.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't want to.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, if I think about my desires, about connecting with a man, it's not on. It's not that level. Like, I don't need to be looking into your eyes and you telling me how much I love you and I say it back, you're in the room. That's a totally different vibe for me.

[Ross Matthews]

Exactly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is love.

[Ross Matthews]

I think so too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah. Like I don't need to be sobbing in your arms and weeping as we hold each other.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly.

[Ross Matthews]

To be intimate.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That's a bit much for me.

[Ross Matthews]

I'm good.

[Chelsea Handler]

And for most of us, quite frankly. What else we got, Katherine?

[Katherine]

Well, our next caller is Heather and she says. Dear Chelsea, I started doing drag in 2014, a few years after moving to San Francisco from the south. Perpetually a late Bloomer, I was 39 when I started and it took that long for me to realize I could be a drag queen as a CIS woman. I quickly joined a weekly show at midnight on a Tuesday at one of San Francisco's oldest gay bars, the Stud, as well as other gigs as I could get them. It was never my full time job, but it did use a significant amount of my time and creativity. In return, I discovered my sexuality, sense of gender, a great group of friends, a newfound confidence, wild creativity, and a best friend who became my wife, now of over five years. When Covid hit, both my wife and I stopped doing drag almost entirely. In 2022, we moved to Portland, Oregon, a place with lots of drag opportunities. Both of us miss what drag brought to our lives, so we sought out some easy opportunities to perform, primarily at a community center, which has a great big audience but is low pressure. But some things changed. The problem, I'm finding is that shows now cause me complete overwhelm, exhaustion and a feeling of burnout. Since I'm doing just one show every few months, one of the big hurdles is the makeup. You know when you do bat winged eyeliner every day and it's so easy, then if you stop for a while, it's a hot mess. Imagine that. But a Whole face that takes one to two hours. I also get too involved in helping run the show, which leaves me exhausted rather than invigorated. I love going to group rehearsals and thinking of numbers, then preparing. And during the show, I have anxiety and a sense of dread. Is it time for me to let go of drag entirely? I'm forever grateful for all it's given me. Even the few shows I've done in Portland have led to friendships and community. Meeting people in the dressing room of a drag show is my favorite way to meet people. Love, Heather, AKA Bamaslamading Dong.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, this, Ross, this is over to you.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh, well, hi.

[Chelsea Handler]

Ross is our drag. Yes, our in house drag expert.

[Ross Matthews]

Well, I've seen a lot of great drag on RuPaul's Drag Race up close. Hi, Heather, how are you?

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Hi. Big fans of all of you.

[Ross Matthews]

Thank you. I love that you do drag. Drag is for everybody, and it's such a beautiful art form, but it is a lot of work. You know, these queens we have on Drag Race have spent years, some decades, perfecting the art, and it still takes them forever to do their makeup and think of the numbers. And so much goes into it. Listen, I think I. Well, I know that drag has brought a lot into your life and you've loved it, you've enjoyed it, but the truth is, it is an extracurricular activity for you. Right?

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Right.

[Ross Matthews]

And so those are meant to bring you joy. So if it's not bringing you joy right now, I think you have to adjust how you're approaching it. If you're liking the picking the songs and that maybe you're helping out at drag shows. You know, there's the people that are so integral to those drag shows and drag brunches who help out in the backstage or carry the tip jar around or help the queens. There's ways you can be involved with the art form. If the actual art form itself isn't bringing you the joy you need, what it brought you is still there, whether you're in drag or not.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Right. And I have tried that. I've done stage manager and things like that. At the end of the day, the spotlight is important, you know, So I guess I'm trying to figure out. Yeah. What is the next step where I can still be involved? I see other drag queens do stand up comedy or move on to other things. Music, all that takes effort, too. So it's hard to put into words what drag brings to you. You know, it brings such a power and a different element.

[Ross Matthews]

Can you tell us what it Brought to you, like, what did it feel like when you were in that spotlight in drag? What were you drawn to?

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

It just. It multiplies confidence, you know, so much, and you get to live out every fantasy of, you know, look like Barbie, look like an alien. That kind of. Of extreme creativity. I do love. I feel like, that it'll be figured out. And I do agree with you. There's plenty to do to support the shows.

[Katherine]

Chelsea, you've talked before about, like, having to take a break from standup when it was, like, not feeling life giving to you. Can you talk a little bit about that and what brought you back to it?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I just feel like sometimes if you're not feeling something, you shouldn't struggle with it, you know, don't, like, fight it to the death. Take a break and walk away. And sometimes you get a fresh perspective. Not sometimes. Almost every time.

[Ross Matthews]

It's almost like writer's block a little bit. You're having drag block.

[Katherine]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, maybe you are. I like that. I mean, that. That there is truth to that. I think it's always healthy to take a break. I mean, if something's not giving you the same vibes that it gave you, then, yeah, there's nothing wrong with taking a break. And it doesn't have to be like you're broken up. It's just like you're taking a break.

[Ross Matthews]

You know, art is work, but it also should bring you joy and pride, you know, and so maybe a little distance would help that.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

If you miss it in a few weeks or a few months, you check in with yourself. Do you miss it? Do you want to go back? Do you feel the urge? Do you want to go see a show and not participate in one? Or do you want to be in one and just check in with yourself, even write about it, journal about it at night before you go to bed. Do I miss drag today? No, I don't. What am I feeling today? How. And just kind of keep it an emotional kind of record of how you're feeling, and that'll give you all the indicators you kind of need to know. I think a lot of us are just not in the practice of listening to ourselves as well as we should. And if you really are with yourself and you give yourself time to digest something and to think about something and really, like, okay, I have an hour free today. I'm gonna think about how I feel about drag. Really dedicate the time that it deserves to be thought about and considered and contemplate it. And then you'll come up with your answer, whether or not you're ready to give it up or you want to go back at it fully or in a different way.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Yeah. I've had a lot of stress in my life over the last year, and one thing I am looking for is that kind of escape and outlet.

[Chelsea Handler]

So release. Right.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

What you're talking about. I think it also give me an opportunity. Try other things.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sure, yeah, absolutely. And it should be fun, right? You need a release. You need to have a good time. It should be fun, whatever you choose to do and how you spend that time. Sure, sure.

[Katherine]

All right, Heather, thanks so much for calling in.

[Ross Matthews]

Thank you, Heather.

[Chelsea Handler]

Good luck, Heather.

[Heather aka Bamaslamading Dong (Caller)]

Thank you.

[Ross Matthews]

Is there an art that you wish you were like, that you could do, you know?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, of course. Anything. I wish I could do anything. I wish I could sing. Oh, for sure.

I could sing. I wish I could dance.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wish I could be a good dancer.

[Ross Matthews]

This one can move. Like, the way I've seen you dance.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've seen you dance, Wellington.

[Ross Matthews]

I would. This summer, I was like, I love drawing. I was like, I really want to get good at it. I want to become like an artist, you know? And so I got. I bought, like, the markers and the pen and the paints and the things. And I'm just terrible.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

No, he's not.

[Ross Matthews]

I sit in my room, and then I crumple it up, and I'm like, that is awful. And I throw it away.

[Chelsea Handler]

What are you doing? What kind of art? What do you mean?

[Ross Matthews]

Markers? I want to. Well, I saw this woman on TikTok who. Who is so incredible what she can draw. And I said, what? I messaged her, right? The total stranger. I said, what do you use? She told me, the pens. And I said, do you have any advice? Cause I would love to draw like you. And she said, just start. So I was like, oh, shit. So I went and I got it, and I am just. I'm so bad at it. But I look at the way. Well, I thank you, but it's really. It's not coming out the way I want to do it, you know, because.

[Chelsea Handler]

You'Ve never done it before, and you're over 40. You got to keep at it.

[Ross Matthews]

I guess so. But I got visions in my head. And in that, the execution is just.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, but you'll get there. You have to. You're not just gonna start doing something and be amazing at it.

[Ross Matthews]

That's how it should be. That's what I want.

[Chelsea Handler]

But think about that.

[Ross Matthews]

You know what I mean?

[Chelsea Handler]

If that were life, then we'd all just be doing whatever the fuck we wanted all the time.

[Ross Matthews]

True.

[Chelsea Handler]

You have to put in the time to get the results.

[Ross Matthews]

I guess you're true.

[Chelsea Handler]

So don't give up on yourself yet.

[Ross Matthews]

Okay. But to Heather's point, like, it is frustrating, this art that I love. I do find it also very frustrating. So I was relating to Heather when she was talking about drag, and I just think, but if you wanna love it to your point, you gotta get it.

[Chelsea Handler]

That's how I feel about sp. It's so frustrating to me that it's taken me so long to become, like, fluent fluent. But I love it. I'm not gonna quit. And I'm not there yet. And I have to always go, you're learning. Like, even when I fuck up or I'm taking a test and I'm like, oh, I got eight answers wrong out of 20. And fuck, at least I learned. Like, you learn something with every mistake. Okay, so, like, we're gonna make sure.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

We give you the tio and tio in Spanish because it comes out in Spanish as well.

[Ross Matthews]

We'll send you a Spanish one.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Esperalo actually wrote the forward.

We've translated it for her as well. And I read the audio in Spanish and he does the English version.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, nice.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

So T o and T o. I'll.

[Ross Matthews]

Send you a picture too. I'll draw you.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Oh, my God.

[Ross Matthews]

They're good markers too.

[Chelsea Handler]

Catherine, do we have a time for another call or what? What's our story with your markers?

[Katherine]

We can take a break and I have one more question.

[Chelsea Handler]

All right, we'll take a break and we'll be right back.

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[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

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[Chelsea Handler]

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And we're back with to and to.

Remind me to send Ross a new magic Marker set for his for his journey. And I'm going to use markers in my Spanish, my Spanish workbook. Also I'm going to tell you send you these markers.

[Ross Matthews]

They're beautiful markers. They have a great.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are they thin markers or thick markers?

[Ross Matthews]

Yes. Uh huh. It's about how you angle your hand. There's a fine point and then you get a yes.

[Katherine]

Well, our last question comes from Cassidy. This is just an email. She says, Dear Chelsea, I've been with my girlfriend for a year in gay fashion. We often talk about the future marriage and what to burn in case of sudden death. For the last few months, she's told me for her birthday she wanted to tell her family about me. She has four sisters. One I know and is fully supportive and the second is deeply Catholic and not a factor we care about. The other two, however, are a different story. She told her youngest first, which was easy. She was curious, supportive and kind mind. Then she told the oldest after a long silence, she asked that their parents not be told. Since her mom is, quote, a worrier, My girlfriend's plan is to bring me around as her, quote, friend. I declined this option. She deeply needs her older sister's approval for most things in her life, which is my main concern. I am, in other people's words, fiercely independent. Admitting these recent events made me incredibly sad was difficult. She swears it's not if, but when. I want to be with her, but how do I feel better about this? The reasoning seems trivial and like, it's not her decision, but her sisters. What else will be up to her sister in the future? For context, she's 37 and I'm 32. She's never brought someone home and they weren't aware she's gay. I get it. Coming out is hard, but why am I so sad about it? I'm writing this on my couch as she's at dinner with her family, the one she planned on bringing me to as her girlfriend. Am I catastrophizing them?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, you are catastrophizing it a little bit. I think. I think that you should just because this happened, a, you don't have to go to be with her family. As a friend, you don't have to do that. Like I get that. But like, assuming that her sister's gonna make every important decision in her life is not true. Like just because her sister gave her this answer, you didn't like that Answer. It's unfair to you. It's not ideal. It doesn't mean that's the way the rest of your life is gonna go. This is a very important decision for your girlfriend too, and it's gonna weigh on her. I'm sure at some point that she has to get her sister's approval for almost everything. And then she's gonna start to consider, is she willing to go through life like that? She can't live a lie. So while I would stand your boundaries and not participate in be pretending to be her friend, when you're more than that, I get that. I wouldn't do that either. I don't think you have to, like, throw in the towel and think, oh, my God, her sister's gonna be the arbiter of our relationship.

[Ross Matthews]

I disagree.

[Chelsea Handler]

You do?

[Ross Matthews]

I do. I think. And I just think if my very existence is an issue that you're going to let your sister dictate, then we have a real problem here. It would be a deal breaker. Your sister is going to tell you to tell the world that I'm your friend. I would like to simply exist in your world as your partner. And if. If that can't happen, then that's okay. That's you making that decision, not me.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

I agree with that as well. You agree with that too, because it's, you know, you have to be authentic. You have to be yourself. And the fact that she's not allowing her to even be part of the picture is problematic.

[Ross Matthews]

I don't think it's too much to ask to be exist and acknowledge that you exist.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it's also. Yeah, it's hard when it's your own sister that you look up to, kind of saying, like, her sister knows she's gay, so there's not a lie there.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

That's true.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, she knows she's gay. She's just telling her to mute the thing so that that's where the problem comes in. But she's not living a lie. She's just not allowed to live out loud is what we're saying.

[Ross Matthews]

And don't you think that that is simple human decency to be able to live out loud?

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Right.

[Ross Matthews]

I hear what you're saying, and maybe it's because, you know, we spent a lot of time when I started on television, it was back in 2001, and there was a lot of fighting for equality and insisting on equality, and we matter.

And that was important. I no longer have that fight within me. If you don't want to give me equality, God bless. I Just.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Ross Matthews]

I'm not going to fight. So the fact that she's now having to fight to be recognized is exhausting to me, and I would tap out of that fight. Okay, that's fair.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I mean, yeah.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Dignity, you know, just having.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Personal dignity. That's right.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

It's not.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, for somebody to put you on mute is not a good feeling.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

But I also agree with you that, like, you know, she sisters probably won't be the one, you know, making all those decisions.

[Ross Matthews]

No, but she's letting her make this decision, and this is a big one, but.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Right. But she should stand her ground and say, no, I'm coming. I'm coming to the stupid party or whatever.

[Ross Matthews]

I think this could be. Oh, that's a great point. This is. Rather than being a red flag deal breaker. Buy bitch. This could be a No. I think this would make you better. Me better, Your sister better, mom better. And I'm gonna fight for it and get to a better place. Yeah, that's good. See why he's better than me? I do.

[Chelsea Handler]

I do. See?

[Ross Matthews]

Well, you thought we walked in.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, well, there you go. There you have it. My advice was wrong. I think theirs was right. I am reconsidered. No, no, no, I think you're right. You guys are right.

[Ross Matthews]

I didn't think you were wrong. But I just.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I felt your neck crane as soon as I started talking. I'm like, what's his problem? And now I know.

[Ross Matthews]

Oh, God. Really? I just. It is a pet peeve of mine. It is. Like, I just. I had family members tell me to tone it down or something perfectly.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I think that's beautiful. You actually. I mean, you said it.

[Ross Matthews]

You're right.

[Chelsea Handler]

Nobody should exist and should be denied. Especially now. It's like, come on, this fight has already happened.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah, we already argued this out. It's already been litigated. It's exhausting that people want to take it back.

[Chelsea Handler]

So anyway, send a copy of this to her sister.

[Ross Matthews]

I love you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Send her a link so her sister can listen to this and realize that she's being inappropriate and she needs to let her sister live out loud.

[Ross Matthews]

And also, mom lives in this world. Even though she's a warrior. She. She's not. What is she in a bunker? She's fine.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

She'll be fine. My parents were, you know, very Catholic as well. And they're all fine.

[Chelsea Handler]

And they're all fine. Everyone survives.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

And then I married the gayest human.

[Ross Matthews]

Ever, and his dad spent the weekend at our house. And we were in the pool. We love each other and we've never had our.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

We've actually never had the discussion of we're gay kind of thing. It's just like, this is my husband.

[Ross Matthews]

Yeah.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Get used to.

[Ross Matthews]

Or maybe he doesn't know.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Or maybe he doesn't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

Maybe he's a true woman. Maybe he's a woman.

[Ross Matthews]

Whatever.

[Chelsea Handler]

It works.

[Ross Matthews]

I'm fine with it.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, and that's your episode of Dear Chelsea for the week, everybody. Thank you, callers. Thank you, listeners. We'll see you next week. Thank you, Ross. Thank you, Wellington. What a pleasure.

[Dr. Wellington Garcia Matthews]

Thank you. We love you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love you. I love you guys.

[Katherine]

The word of the week is grammarian. Noun. A specialist or expert in grammar. Grammarian. Chelsea is known to be something of a grammarian, which is why we do this segment. Grammarian.

[Chelsea Handler]

I just announced all my tour dates. It's called the High and Mighty Tour. I will be touring from February through June. So go get your tickets now. If you want good seats and you want to come see me perform, I will be on the High and Mighty Tour.

[Katherine]

Do you want advice from Chelsea? Write in to dearchelseapodcastmail.com Find full video episodes of Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching earechelseapod. Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert Executive producer Kathryn Law. And be sure to check out our merch@chelsea handler.com foreign.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

You know what's not fun?

[Chelsea Handler]

Waking up at 2am drenched in sweat.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

Been there. That's why I started using pod 5 from 8 sleep.

[Chelsea Handler]

And let me tell you, it is a game changer.

[Pod 5 User / Advertiser]

It's designed with women's health in mind, especially for those of us dealing with hot flashes. Pod 5 is this genius smart mattress cover that fits over any bed and pulls your body before a hot flash can mess with your sleep. Sleep. And when I need an extra relief, I just tap the bed or use the app to activate hot flash mode. 30 minutes of instant cooling. It's like having a personal climate concierge. It's clinically proven to reduce hot flashes by over 50% and I genuinely sleep deeper and wake up feeling way more refreshed. I love that it's a non medical solution, but it's backed by real data and it feels totally natural. Anyone who listens to this podcast knows that I would like to sleep in a refrigerator. And now I can. And if you sleep with a partner, Pod 5 cools each side of the bed independently. So no more kicking someone out for being a human furnace. You both get your perfect temperature from 55 degrees to 110 degrees.

[Chelsea Handler]

Go to 8sleep.com Chelsea use code Chelsea and get up to $700 off Pod 5. You can try it risk free for 30 days. Trust me, better sleep starts here. From nursing and healthcare to business and it Rasmussen has a range of programs to fit your goals and passions no matter what your day to day looks like. Rasmussen's programs allow you to balance school with life while you pursue your degree. So if you're ready to pursue your education goals, Rasmussen is ready to help you take that next step. Head on over to Rasmussen. Edu and check out the opportunities waiting for you. Your future is a bright one. Rasmussen University can help you get there. You know that feeling when you come home late from work and those puppy dog eyes just pierce right through your soul? Yeah. Yep, we've all been there. Pet parent guilt is real and completely normal. That's exactly why Hill's Pet Nutrition exists. They understand that being a pet parent means being human. Hill's science led nutrition helps you give more love than humanly possible. Whether it's those long work days or trying to balance the tension between multiple pets. Hill's Pet Nutrition gets it because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more more Ready to let go of the guilt. Find the right [e-mail] iheart that's hillspet.com iheart the holidays are here which means I am stressed, over, committed, slightly buzzed and pretending I know how to cook. But at least my dog Doug is thriving. He's eating just fresh from Just Food for dogs. Real human grade food with none of that processed junk. It's shelf stable which means I can toss it in my suitcase when I travel or shove it in a cabinet next to my tequila. And honestly, lastly, Doug's living his best life. His coat is shiny, he's got energy and when guests come over, he's the only one not complaining about their food. Meanwhile, I'm over here eating takeout and calling it festive. So this holiday season, give your dog something better than table scraps. Give them just fresh real food. For dogs who have better taste than we do, go to justfoodfordogs.com for 50% off your first order. No code, no hassle, and thank God, no cooking required.

[Katherine]

Did you know that 95% of divorces never go to trial? I'm Erin Levine. I spent 20 years as a divorce attorney and I built hello Divorce to be different. Smart technology to simplify every form and filing plus access to lawyers, financial experts and mediators. With over 15,000 divorces. Hello, divorce is 90% cheaper, 2/3 faster, and the highest rated online divorce platform on Trust Pilot. Find your way forward@hello divorce.com iheart this is an iheart podcast. Guaranteed human.