Money can shape adult friendships in ways we don’t always talk about openly. Who pays for dinner? Who can afford the group trip? Do you need to attend the wedding AND the bachelorette party and wedding shower? What happens when your kids start noticing how other families spend money? And how do you handle it when your own financial situation changes before your friendships catch up?

This week on Dear Nina: Conversations About Friendship, I’m joined by Heather Boneparth, financial professional, former lawyer, and co-author of Money Together. Heather works with individuals, couples, and families around the emotional side of money—and she has strong opinions in the best possible way.

We get into the layered and emotional realities of friendship and finances, including:

Splitting checks when one person clearly ordered more
Traveling with friends who have very different budgets and expectations
Expensive weddings, bachelorette parties, and how to say “I can’t do this” without shame
Parenting differences around spending, takeout, Starbucks, and what kids notice
What happens when your own financial situation changes and your friendships shift too
Why empathy matters more than assumptions when it comes to money

One thing I appreciated about Heather is that she doesn’t reduce every issue to “just communicate better.” She acknowledges that these conversations are uncomfortable, emotional, and tied to much bigger beliefs about money, fairness, identity, and belonging.

And throughout the episode, we come back to one important reminder: you almost never know the full financial story of another person’s life.

LINKS MENTIONED:

Episode #108 was the previous episode on the topic of money and friendship with Mia Brabham Nolan
Heather's newsletter with her husband, Douglas: The Joint Account
Heather and Douglas on social media: @averagejoelle and @dougboneparth
And their book, Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team

MEET HEATHER BONEPARTH

Heather Boneparth is the director of business and legal affairs for Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. A former corporate lawyer, she's now a rising voice at the intersection of money, relationships, and parenting. She is the co-author of Money Together: How to find fairness in your relationship and become an unstoppable financial team, which she co-wrote with her husband. The couple helps 15,000 subscribers talk about money each week through their newsletter, The Joint Account. You can find her perpetually online: @averagejoelle.

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