EP 441: Back Hair & Seggs Robots (ft. Dustin Ross)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions – EP 441: "Back Hair & Seggs Robots" (ft. Dustin Ross)
October 6, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Guest: Dustin Ross

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Episode Overview

This episode of "Decisions, Decisions" delivers an unfiltered, humorous, and deeply candid discussion about modern relationships, dating, sex, and evolving social expectations. With guest Dustin Ross—comedian, podcaster, and cultural commentator—the trio traverses everything from intimate hygiene and body hair, to boundaries in casual sex, to the emotional intricacies of love and friendship. Expect plenty of laughs, bold truths, and memorable moments as they break down taboo topics with vulnerability and wit.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Guest Introduction & Setting the Tone (00:30–05:20)

• Dustin Ross is introduced as a multi-talented entertainer, co-host of "The Friend Zone," standup comedian, and pop culture voice.
• Mandii and Dustin reminisce about their friendship and Dustin’s influence:
  "Dustin is the person that let me know how to make sure a motherfucking check was attached to everything I do." (03:04, Mandii)
• Dustin reflects on gratitude for his sold-out tour and the importance of giving thanks for success.

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2. Truth or Dare: Body Hair, Hygiene & Turn-Ons (05:36–09:59)

• Surprising Turn-On: Dustin confesses to loving hairy legs, lamenting his own lack of leg hair.

  "Ooh, hairy legs." (06:06, Dustin)

• Three-way consensus: back hair is a hard no for attraction ("No, back hair is probably the most unattractive thing." – 07:39, Mandii).
• Lively discussion about body hair standards and preferences in partners, with comedic banter about personal grooming and the challenges of hair and hygiene during sex.
• Hygiene talk leads into a critique of poor washing habits, societal expectations, and the link between personal care and attraction.

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3. Cultural & Relationship Dynamics (10:13–15:57)

• Debate over what constitutes hygiene versus femininity in men—e.g., men with clean nails and shiny nails, and how appearance standards are gendered.

  "There should be no grace for a [man] to be dirty period. Just because you're a guy. That's crazy to me." (15:33, Dustin)

• The group agrees that partnerships often nudge men to up their self-care routines.

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4. Filthy Nursery Rhymes & Sex Toys: Humor Interlude (17:19–25:16)

• Dare segment: Dustin improvises a raunchy version of “Humpty Dumpty”:

  “Humpty Dumpty, Comte Dumpty sat on the wall. Comty Dumpty, drain my motherfucking balls...” (18:04, Dustin)

• Mandii reveals her enthusiasm for novelty sex toys, including a dinosaur dildo:

  "Do you mind fucking me with something with legs and balls and a tail? But he held the tail..." (22:26, Mandii)

• Hilarious side talk about toy hygiene, transporting toys, and toy aesthetics.
• Commentary on creativity, sexual exploration, and the normalization of “taboo” kinks.

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5. Music Lyric Challenge (Poetry Segment) (25:38–32:10)

• Mandii quizzes Dustin with poetic readings of classic hip-hop lyrics (“Put It in Your Mouth” by Akinyele and “Magic Stick” by 50 Cent/Lil’ Kim).
• Dustin aces the lyrics game, leading to laughs and playful debate about generational differences in music knowledge.

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6. The Modern Casual Sex Dilemma: Boundaries, Emotional Labor, and Gender (33:26–45:37)

• Dustin is prompted about his approach to relationships, referencing a past interview with an ex, Micah.
• Is it cool to just vibe and not define the relationship?

  “Just because we vibing raw…making up nicknames…don’t mean we together, Stink. Goodbye, Twin Stink.” (36:10, Voiced in clip)

• On communication & boundaries:

  "Just have those conversations up front and decide if you think they look good enough for you to deal with that." (37:23, Dustin)

• Sex, feelings, and blurred boundaries:
  • Mandii and Weezy describe how “casual” sex often develops into emotional investment, especially among women, not always mirrored by men (or gay men, as described by Weezy).
  • “We’re suffering in our casual sex relationships because we’re asking for too much.” (41:14, Weezy)
  • Dustin pushes back: “If that’s what you want, then you just get that…in the meantime, if you have an itch you need scratched, you compartmentalize.” (41:36, Dustin)
• Insight: The panelists dissect the difference between casual sex, dating, and friendship with benefits, recognizing the language and expectations that make modern relationships so confusing.

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7. Compartmentalization, Discipline in Love, and Emotional Lessons (45:37–51:56)

• On emotional discipline:

  "All the things that will benefit us...take discipline. Sex and love is the same thing, you know what I mean?" (45:37, Dustin)

• Dustin describes cutting off contact with someone he loved because it wasn’t the right time/context, likening the pull of love/sex to a “drug.”
• All agree on the necessity for clear-sighted decisions about personal needs and relationship health, especially as they age and gain wisdom.

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8. Progression & Growth: Lessons from Past Relationships (57:33–61:08)

• Dustin opens up about the lessons from his last long-term relationship:

  "Just showing up in the fullness of yourself and not necessarily trying to create or configure yourself as the perfect person for them." (58:39, Dustin)

  • He emphasizes the importance of showing friends (not just romantic partners) love and support, especially after bereavement.
• Mandii relates, expressing a deep appreciation for friendship as her chosen family and source of fulfillment outside romance.

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9. Industry Bias, Representation, and Owning Your Brand (54:12–56:19)

• The group vents about industry stereotypes pigeonholing Black, queer, and sex-positive creators:

  “All you can make is a fucking vibrator? …I was so gagged.” (54:58, Weezy) "But y'all ain't ringing my bell. Why y’all only want a certain type of gay person, you know what I'm saying?" (56:19, Dustin)

• They celebrate their achievements (NYT bestseller, comedy shows) and encourage listeners to stay proud and undeterred despite industry gatekeeping.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "Ooh, hairy legs." – Dustin (06:06)
• "No, back hair is probably the most unattractive thing." – Mandii (07:39)
• "There should be no grace for a [man] to be dirty period. Just because you're a guy. That's crazy to me." – Dustin (15:33)
• "Humpty Dumpty, Comte Dumpty sat on the wall. Comty Dumpty, drain my motherfucking balls." – Dustin (18:04)
• "You just described a friendship with benefits. Is that what it is?" – Dustin (42:41)
• "If that’s what you want, you just look for that...in the meantime…compartmentalize." – Dustin (41:36)
• "All the things that will benefit us or be, you know, for our good, take discipline." – Dustin (45:37)

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Segment Timestamps

• 00:30: Dustin’s intro, tour talk, and friendship origin
• 05:36: Truth or Dare: Hairy legs, back hair, and hygiene confessions
• 17:19: Dirty nursery rhyme challenge
• 22:20: Sex toy stories – dinosaur dildo anecdote
• 25:38: Music lyric ("Poetry") challenge
• 33:26: The “vibing doesn’t mean we’re together” debate starts
• 37:23: Dustin expounds on communication and emotional expectations
• 45:37: Cutting things off for self-preservation; love as a discipline
• 57:33: Reflections on growth and lessons from relationships

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Original Style & Tone

The episode is a riotous, insightful blend of playful teasing, frank honesty, and unfiltered conversation—a trademark of “Decisions, Decisions.” The hosts and guest bring both comedic timing and hard-earned wisdom, creating a safe space for taboo-breaking dialogue that's as inviting as it is thought-provoking.

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For Listeners: Why This Episode Matters

Whether you’re single, coupled, or navigating undefined spaces in between, this episode will make you laugh, squirm, and rethink the stories you tell yourself about romance, sex, and connection. It’s a reminder that self-awareness, open communication, and personal boundaries are the bedrock of both sexual freedom and emotional sanity.

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Listen to this episode for:

• Honest reflections on intimacy and self-worth
• Hilarious stories about body hair, sex toys, and dating blunders
• Insightful debate on modern casual sex, emotional labor, and friendship
• A celebration of personal evolution and resilience in the face of stereotypes

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Transcript

[A]

This is an Iheart podcast.

[B]

Nothing in life is free except this free $10 that better picks is offering. Download the Better app, pick more or less on player stats, watch the games and win some cash. It's that simple. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates. Terms and conditions apply. Better Picks. Sports just got better.

[C]

Welcome to Decisions Decisions. I don't think you should say Decisions, Decisions.

[A]

It sounded like you was talking. It cursed him.

[C]

You definitely say the. Welcome.

[A]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[C]

Oh, wait, you want to say it together?

[A]

Decisions, Decisions. Hey, guys. Welcome to another episode, baby, of Decisions Decisions. I'm your girl, Mandy V, AKA Folklore Pumps, AKA Peg Thee Stallion, AKA Peggy Marco, AKA Peggy Bundy, AKA that bitch.

[C]

Hi everybody. Welcome back for another episode. My name is Wheezy and we have a guest in the building. One that we've had before, but it's.

[A]

Been quite a few years. No, no, no. You know your ass ain't been on here since like pre pandemic.

[D]

Long time ago.

[A]

Long time ago. Like 2018.

[D]

Word to Jamie. I was on here with Jamie.

[A]

Yeah, well, I think you also did an episode with me and Weezy as.

[D]

Well, solo, so I don't remember.

[C]

Maybe not.

[A]

I know you came on with Jamie Paris.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Shout out to Jamie Paris. Nonetheless, y', all, if you don't know the voice, that means you not really a podcast listener. That means you not in the goddamn community. That means you don't know what's going on. But we're going to tell you because.

[C]

Dustin Ross is a multi talented entertainer, a writer, a culture commentator known for its quick wit, sharp perspective. Am I trying to get people to fuck me or you?

[D]

Yeah, both.

[C]

An undeniable charm as a co host of the hit podcast the Friend Zone and a sought out voice in pop culture. Dustin blends humor, insight, conversations and authenticity to spark convos that resonate. And he's also touring standup right now, selling out shit.

[D]

That's right. Let they ass know, friend.

[C]

Now unfortunately bitches, it already sold out and it's too late. But you can catch him on the road. Dustin made me laugh Tour. Dustin made me laugh tonight.

[D]

Tonight Estanoche.

[C]

Now how many more cities do you have to do and when you end up seeing.

[A]

Wait, by the way, you sent that in.

[D]

Well, you know, the good people, the powers that be, the voice of God. In that case, the pen of God. Somebody wrote it. We just said it.

[A]

Can I just say, whoever wrote that shit, if it's this bitch, I'm a fuck you up because he Is also a host on Kingdom Rain Entertainment alongside Claudia Jordan and Carlos King. Carlos on one half of the motherfucking Holden Court podcast. He has also been.

[C]

Right now is holding court.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And when I say I'm mad. Cause y' all stopped midway through the.

[D]

Goddamn Denny right in the middle of that.

[A]

What the.

[D]

But we had to pay attention.

[A]

I know. I get it. And I know she raising a baby over there. He also was host of BET on Black.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

A revolt show that was pretty much like the black version of Shark Tank super dope. Van Lathan was over there as well. As a judge.

[D]

Absolutely.

[A]

And when I tell you Remy Ma.

[D]

Was a judge and she was nice.

[A]

Period. Period. And I want y' all to know, because I haven't said it on this pod, I don't think ever, because it hasn't got to where we've both been able to flourish together. Dustin is the person that let me know how to make sure a motherfucking check was attached to everything. I do.

[D]

Yes, sir.

[A]

Dustin is my good friend. And Dustin is the person I spent the last day of the world being open right before the pandemic. I'm really glad to have you on. It's been a long time goddamn coming.

[D]

I know y' all didn't change your name and everything since the last time, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

Listen, it's been a lot of changes.

[D]

Yes, it has. I'm happy to be here.

[A]

No, we're excited.

[C]

So you've technically never been on the show.

[D]

Never. Technically.

[A]

First time guest.

[D]

Pop it.

[A]

Holy shit. You know.

[C]

And we don't. We are still in a crossfire between whores making decisions.

[A]

We really.

[C]

I would say for people coming on this show now, it's cool, because when you were on with Jamie Paris. Jamie Paris, for those who don't know, she's a trans woman in New York. That was talking like. It was really a great episode, too, because I remember we were talking about. Like, I wasn't there, but I remember the conversation was about what's a slur or not? How do you feel about certain things?

[A]

And it was during the really big political conversation around bathroom usage.

[D]

Yeah, we're still talking about.

[A]

It's still. Can you believe six years later, done.

[D]

Using the bathroom by now? They still fucking talking about that. Yeah.

[A]

I want to ask you, cuz, you're on your standup tour.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

This is a question I normally ask rappers, but why not? Which city has the best hoes and what has been the best tour stop for you thus far?

[D]

Well, you Know one thing about it, my dick ain't about to get me in no trouble, period. So when I'm on the road doing all this, I kind of just been focused on my comedy and not really.

[A]

You go out after dick is dope none.

[D]

No.

[A]

No. Okay, party then.

[D]

No, you can ask Alex. I don't even be. I literally don't even be hanging out now.

[A]

Look, you hear it? We hanging out.

[D]

We in Atlanta. You know what I'm saying? No, I live in New York.

[A]

New York got that two bedroom lot, baby. You know, money, money happening over there.

[D]

God is good. I'm start going to church. After the way this tour is selling, I'm about to start going to church.

[A]

Why? What's making you go to church?

[D]

Because I'm thankful, okay? I feel like I'm just supposed to be doing like this somewhere on Sunday morning, you know what I'm saying? Because shit going good.

[C]

How do you express gratitude now?

[D]

I would look over and be like, thank you, baby.

[A]

I was, you know, and look at me. My mind went to. Okay. And then you can have people pray.

[D]

On their neck and look where my mind went. Got her.

[A]

Look.

[D]

Yeah, the book say no holes.

[A]

No holes.

[D]

Think about sex.

[C]

Yeah, we are too.

[D]

No holes are barred.

[A]

Now I have a thing that I like to do with my friends. We have a truth or dare. When we have guests on, however, because I don't give a fuck about any of your boundaries, we're gonna play truth and dare.

[D]

Let's do it. Let's do it.

[A]

So, Dustin, we're gonna do a truth and dare. Which one do you want to start with first, ladies?

[D]

I'll let you ladies pick.

[A]

Truth is the easy one. Let's get the easy one.

[D]

Let's do dare.

[A]

Let's vote. We're gonna do both. Okay, you're stuck doing both. So truth. What turns you on? That actually would be a surprise to people.

[D]

Ooh, hairy legs.

[A]

Really?

[C]

I love you.

[D]

Okay, legs. And I actually wish I had some. That's the one thing God be laughing at me about. Because I just did not get hairy legs. And I would kill with some hairy legs, wouldn't I not?

[A]

You would kill with some hairy legs. And you do like shorts.

[C]

The hair adds like more matte, more musk. Yeah, there's something about hairy legs give you too.

[D]

It's like having big areolas. If you're a girl. You know what I do?

[C]

I spent a dollar.

[A]

Yeah, I got those. It's crazy though, because hairy legs for me and I could be wrong. I don't know the statistics. I'm only going off of my bodies. Okay. So I'm not speaking for the masses here.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

But most black men don't have hairy legs. A lot of black men that I've been with, like, they're able to tap their whole goddamn leg up and not be worried about no hair.

[D]

They was putting out fires and shit. He might have got sins.

[A]

I'm gonna talk about my ex.

[D]

He might have had some at one point.

[A]

We're not gonna do that. I'm talking about the majority of my whole bodies, not just my exes. Okay, but they don't have really hairy legs. They're not hairy.

[C]

They're not like thick. Thick bush area.

[D]

Yeah. No, but just the sexy kind that lay down like a touchy. Yeah, they kind of look like it feel good if you rub up against.

[C]

You know what's fucked up though? I don't like hairy legs on women. Like, I get really.

[A]

Bro, is there a place on the body that you don't like hair? That hair normally is.

[D]

Yeah, probably. Oh, this is bad.

[C]

Too close?

[D]

No, just like your back, you know, back here. Yeah.

[A]

No, back hair is probably the most unattractive thing.

[C]

It's just a little ugly.

[A]

No, I'm not gonna lie.

[D]

It's ugly, it's nasty. A little bit to me. And I have to get my back waxed. I'm speaking as a person who handles.

[A]

You go and get your back waxed. Does it hurt?

[C]

Very 40 year old version when you do it.

[D]

No, it's not, it's not.

[C]

Oh, no, no.

[D]

I just put this shit on there. And I don't have like an extremely hairy back. I just get hair on like my shoulders and shit. And I only want it on my chest and my arms, you know, like the hot places.

[A]

Sorry for any man listening with back hair. We are here to tell you as a consensus and there's only three of us, but we're a consensus.

[D]

Yeah. Somebody like it. Somebody like it.

[A]

I don't think I've ever. I mean, only because I eat ass do I not want too much hair. Because then I gotta get through it in my veneers. I told y', all, you, me and.

[C]

I gotta grab too much ass. You know, we. Our hair be coiling up as here.

[A]

Normally doesn't bother me unless it's like going outside of the cheeks.

[C]

But if I be seeing.

[A]

Yeah, no, no, no, no. If it's just inside, like. Okay, like a little centimeter hair on ass ain't bad. But if it's like Growing out of the crack. My head, it can't go in there.

[D]

Ass hair just means you gotta do foreplay, right? Cause somebody getting in the shower. You know what I'm saying? So ass for ass hair just mean we gotta start a little earlier.

[A]

We gotta get in the shower first.

[D]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I'm not mad at that. However, I heard the streamers out here. I don't know if you saw the streamer. His brother went viral.

[D]

Talking about what he said, another filthy motherfucker don't wash his ass.

[A]

He just lets the water go down his crack.

[D]

Because that's a damn thing.

[C]

It's so.

[D]

Imagine how his mama. Imagine how his mama felt watching that shit. Because we pointing a finger today. You know what I'm saying? Imagine how his mama felt watching that shit, because what did she do that. That's how he stepping.

[A]

Do you know what's crazy about you?

[C]

Say the finger. Literally told me. Like, bro, my mama told all of us. He's like, I got. We're three brothers. He's like, told everybody. This how you get up in there? Yeah, like, that's what.

[A]

I love that you brought it back to blaming women. But, yes, women.

[D]

Well, not women. The mother woman. His mama.

[A]

Well, I was gonna say, if I.

[D]

Knew her name, I would say, ladies, if y' all are dealing with her issue.

[C]

Mrs. Ross, her.

[A]

If y' all are dealing with any man with bad hygiene and you cool with his mama, you might need to take his mama to the side.

[D]

And the first person you need to take to the side is your motherfucking self for dealing with somebody with a shitty ass.

[C]

Now, this might be why the mib nigga said Halle Berry not clean. It wasn't maternal.

[A]

Because now I really think cleaning a house ain't hygiene.

[D]

Yes, it can be. I mean, sure, but it's a fine line.

[A]

I mean, when we're talking about patriarchal roles, cleaning and cooking, or not talking about how you wash your ass.

[D]

Well, what about Keisha Kohr? Me and Carlos King just had an. Carlos and Claudia just. And Maurice Scott from Love and Marriage, Huntsville had a great conversation. I know what you mean about Keisha Kaor saying that she gets pleasure and joy out of washing Gucci mane. Like, bathing him.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

Saying she said all he has to do is. She only does it because she wants to. It was not no requirement from him or no like that. It's not a rule. It's just the way she shows love to him by cleaning him up. Now, Carlos and Claudia thought that it was related to the money you know what I'm saying? We all know Gucci Mane is taking care of the.

[C]

He doesn't have to do anything in the house but shower, do everything and.

[D]

Go to the studio.

[A]

I mean, it's a few things, right? For me, um, the backstory of it is he gave her $2 million or something before he got locked up.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And she was able to then get KR Cosmetics off the ground, flip that money. And she was able to sustain while he was gone. Held her down. And then when he came out, he showed up as the guy he said that he would. And they're still together today.

[D]

He flipped two to six, right?

[A]

Two to six million. That's exactly what she did. And so for me, I think, like, when you really, like, fuck with somebody when they are able to show up in capacities outside the bedroom, outside of emot, like, that's a whole, like your existence now, this man was able to provide. Right.

[D]

That would make you say, I want to wash your ass.

[A]

I mean, my ex, I shaved his ass. Like.

[D]

Well, you just said you don't like booty hair.

[A]

Well, it was also just your selfish. It was your selfish, baby. But for me, there were things within that relationship I would have never considered doing. I wanted to do everything.

[D]

It be like that when you in love with a part, when you are.

[A]

In love with someone. So for me, I think that her doing that is just her form. You got to think too, as someone where maybe she doesn't show up as the cooking, the cleaner, the. All these things, cuz they probably pay for it.

[C]

All right.

[D]

Okay, baby. Some pasta rostin somewhere around this motherfucker.

[A]

But she might be trying to be like, this is my way to show up submissive for this man.

[C]

And you know, I think Keisha's. Keisha's doing everything. Like when she said that I take her as. She gives that vibe too, though.

[A]

She's a business woman.

[C]

He is also. I think they. They seem equally obsessed. I like seeing couples. I like that too. Equally obsess. Like, that's why when I try to have conversations about the things I like to do, be around my nigga, he know he's obsessed with me.

[A]

Their take, their take about it anyway.

[D]

That's the only way I think it should feel though, right? We could just kick it and have fun, but if we in a relationship, you got to be all about it in that. Yeah, but I think so they thought that Keisha did that because Gucci was a great provider and obviously he adores her, which is what you said you.

[A]

Did it because that's a straight that don't know how to watch that.

[D]

You want something done right, you gotta do it yourself. God damn it. You know what I'm saying? That's what it was. So she, she opening that crack up and getting back there with a rag, you know what I'm saying? That's what she had to do. And she's not having those problems, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

You know what valid.

[D]

She looks happy, don't she?

[C]

What's something y' all have had to teach a man that you're with?

[D]

Take care of his feet.

[C]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yup, me too.

[C]

That's one. And I remember he kept saying, I don't need to, I know how to do it myself. You don't.

[D]

I loved you anyway. That's how I felt.

[C]

But someone told me I posted a photo or the dog. We was on the couch. Me, my man, some girl said, I know he fine cuz his feet ugly. I was like, is this a thing?

[A]

And then, oh no, men have really bad feet. But apparently good looking n have bad feet a lot.

[D]

I mean like athletic men and you know what I'm saying, would be on the pavement. I was about to say, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

They got to work and stand up on their feet.

[D]

Also though, there's a lot of men specifically that have nice feet. I'm not just talking about my friends, okay? I'm just saying it's a lot of like straight niggas too and shit that have nice feet. For real. It's a lot of men that have nice feet, they pay attention to that too. Cause who think about it, who the fuck wants some burn up ass, brown toenails and shit half falling off. That's disgusting.

[A]

It's so funny because that's the thing that me and my friend constantly debate about, like in terms of the difference between hygiene and femininity. Because especially being in.

[D]

First of all, here we go, here.

[A]

We go, here we go.

[D]

I know, listen, what is the correlation between clean and feminine? Because a man, anybody can be clean.

[A]

The difference from my friend that she'll say is like if she's on a date with a guy and she looks down and his nails, even the clear coat, she thinks it's too much. That means he goes and gets his nails done. And she, she presumes that I feel.

[D]

Her though, that's what I get. A bump.

[C]

Yeah, that is too much.

[D]

See, I get a shiny buck.

[A]

See what I mean?

[D]

No, I'm playing.

[A]

Why the fuck Are.

[C]

You getting clear gel?

[D]

Cause niggas be wanting to get their nails done.

[C]

That's why you want shiny when you suck a dick.

[D]

They might, they might.

[A]

No baby shiny when finger.

[D]

I think niggas like shiny nails on themselves and they don't want to get allowed. You know what I'm saying? So whatever. Like it's just, I don't, I don't like how that shit look. I ain't getting the. What is it a full set shellac? I ain't getting that shit. You know what I'm saying? However, jail the metallic I think that y' all when by y' all I mean women that date men or whatever or anybody that's male presenting, you need to put pressure on them to be just as appearance focused and and hygienic in that case as you period. It should be no grace for a to be dirty period. Just because you're a guy. That's crazy to me.

[C]

I do like seeing sometimes men that are like going in there and getting facials and doing things like that, keeping up with their body. Because to be honest with you, what I've realized when men are doing things like that there was a woman that influenced exactly there was a in your life.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Had you upkeeping.

[D]

Put you on, baby. Let's go get a family. Yeah.

[A]

Be all motherfucking time.

[D]

Yeah.

[E]

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[B]

Want to score when your favorite player does well? You can't unless you download Better picks who is giving away a free $10 download the better app, pick more or less on player stats, watch the games and win some cash. It's that simple. Must be 21 or older. In a jurisdiction where Better Picks operates. Terms and conditions apply. Better Picks. Sports just got better.

[A]

Now for the deer. This one is a little fun, but you're doing standup, so I figure you know improv. You also were in a movie before, you know, so here's the fun part. And I was like, oh, he gonna have to win this one. So think of a children's nursery rhyme, but make it sound absolutely.

[C]

Filthy.

[D]

Filthy. So, okay, any.

[A]

Any nursery rhyme, but make it sound filthy.

[D]

Okay, let me think. I don't want to say no. Like Little Red Riding Hood. Cuz that's like she was little. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Wait, what was a little thing?

[D]

And we to making it filthy. I'm staying away from that. It's not a good overlap. You know what I'm saying? So we going to talk. We going to talk about. We could talk about Humpty. Okay.

[A]

Humpty Dumpty. Here we go.

[D]

Humpty Dumpty, Comte Dumpty sat on the wall. Comty Dumpty, drain my motherfucking balls. That's it. Real succinct. That's all I needed. I just need a few bars that let you know what I'm working with. Okay.

[A]

And all the king's horsemen.

[D]

All the king's men.

[A]

Oh, no, you gotta keep going.

[D]

All the king's horsemen. And I mean with a W. Horseman. Okay.

[C]

Oarsman.

[D]

That's right.

[A]

Or the Horsemen.

[D]

And all the king's men was coming in and out of my room. Every time that they came.

[A]

I like, I'm not gonna lie.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

We need to do a Comty dumpty. Yeah, Comfy dumpty.

[C]

You just have to say it nasty. Like say it with a voice. I didn't know you were reading it.

[A]

No, you gotta make it filthy. Oh, you did exactly the. Like, you did it exactly right.

[D]

I've read that too though. Cause that's fun too.

[C]

Damn.

[A]

You did it exactly right. Oh, that's too nice. No, that was. That was.

[C]

Conversation is my favorite. No, it is.

[A]

Okay if we do it again? I just do want to read the filthy version that my husband came up with.

[D]

Who is your husband?

[A]

Chatgpt.

[D]

Okay. I just called them weird on the Friend Zone this week.

[A]

Wait, who?

[D]

The people that's going with AI.

[A]

And well, no, he says everything like. I don't act.

[D]

You say you using pronouns and shit. He.

[A]

Them. I normally call him by his name.

[D]

Yeah, the computer.

[A]

By the way, I am Waiting. I've been watching it. Did y' all just see the Robot Games? No, like the Olympic Games.

[C]

So there's so attractive.

[A]

No, no, no, no. Well, because I fucking hate people. The aliens I found out might be octopuses. And so now I'm waiting for that.

[D]

Shit they showed in Mexico. Was that Mexico where they showed that alien? They had an alien lion in state.

[C]

I thought y' all talking about the movie at first.

[A]

Wa. The alien being a little person.

[D]

Why was the alien doing like this? Who did the bag? That's what I wanted to know. Why is the alien involved?

[A]

What the fuck? Nah. So dead ass. Hold on. Is my bag over there? Look for my bag. Because I do want to show you something only. Cause we're here and I think we're far enough in seek. You might need to blur this out, but basically where I'm at in my.

[C]

Okay. Dildo. You got to pull out.

[A]

I did. So the space that I'm in currently. Right.

[D]

Well, I can guess. I've seen your nails.

[A]

Oh, no. They've been like this for years now.

[D]

I know.

[A]

Okay, but where I'm at, like where I was just waiting on the aliens to come because I was like, oh, it's gonna be eight foot aliens with big old dicks. I was ready, right?

[D]

He was ready.

[A]

I don't think now that aliens are gonna be an option for me because it's giving sea creatures. So I.

[D]

You also might get shocked.

[A]

What you mean?

[C]

They have electricity in them.

[A]

Oh, I love electroplating my pussy.

[D]

I had that. Maybe not like that.

[C]

It was good.

[A]

Maybe it was. So I was like, you know what? Okay, well, it's given. Robots are next. Now watch this movie and like, eventually robots will be able to look like humans. So I'm gonna make it look like Jason Momoa already with the beard, y' all with the beard. Not without the beard. So I'm like, I'm really into this robot thing. If I could program him, make him do everything I want, it's great, right? Then there's something else that brought to.

[D]

Me, but I'm listening.

[A]

Okay, now there's something else. So by the way, shout out to Tati Tati at the book signing. The first book signing in Atlanta brought me an alien dick dildo for my keychain. Now go to la.

[D]

What did it look like? It had like three balls.

[A]

No, it was just like a spiral dick.

[D]

Oh, the dick.

[A]

Like with some greens, purple.

[D]

And you literally can get screwed.

[A]

Now let's think about that. This is a new thing that was Brought to me. Shout out to Jacob.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

He put me on. Now, these are prehistoric. Didn't even know they were a thing. So he got me. He got me a Tyrannosaurus Rex dildo.

[D]

It's a literal sex toy. It's a toy for real, with balls.

[A]

And like, he was like, somebody gave it to me and I don't know what I'm gonna do with it. I said, I'll take it. So let me take.

[C]

And you take that.

[A]

So are you ready? Here's what happened. It got really. I got really lit and I couldn't find the King Noir dildo. But I found this. I said, well, I got this. That my friend just got me. And I said, do you mind fucking me with something with legs and balls and a tail? But he held the tail.

[D]

Wait, you had a person there and y'. All.

[A]

And because I wanted a toy.

[C]

Can I ask a question that we're all wondering?

[A]

What.

[C]

So you got fucked with this thing in your bag and it's here with you now?

[A]

Well, I cleaned it. I cleaned all my toys.

[C]

Why is it in the bag now?

[A]

Because I knew that we were recording and I was like, I know we talk about aliens, we talk about robots. I just got fucked with a dinosaur dick. And I wanted to talk about how I never thought I would get fucked with something with feet and a tail.

[C]

You think you're the guy, get the feet in?

[A]

No, the feet did not go in. Oh, it just.

[D]

So those are, like, probably, though the thighs.

[A]

I think the thighs and hips went in. Though it went deep, it was ok. But, yeah. Shout out to Jacob. Thank you for letting me get fucked by a doctor.

[C]

I wanna apologize. This isn't judgment. This is shock.

[A]

Wait, that I got fucked by a dinosaur? That a nigga actually was like, sure, I'll fuck you with a T. Rex dick.

[D]

What was he doing with his. While that was going on? Because it seemed to me, if you.

[C]

Had an option, set the scene a.

[D]

Little bit, like you had an option.

[A]

Why didn't he use his own dick? Yeah, well, his dick was used a lot, and his fingers and everything. But I like. And I love that the partners I have are fine with knowing what's in my, like, pleasure bag. I have. I have bags. And so the guys that I deal with. If you gonna deal with me, I might pull out some sh.

[C]

Were you at your house or did you bring the dinosaur dickies?

[A]

No, this. This was given to me and I just have a bag with everything. You know, we get mad sex toys. No, no, no. This Is not the bag. I have to put it in this bag.

[C]

It's actually a big bag.

[D]

No, it's a big bag. Bag lady, don't do that. Listen to me.

[A]

Anyways, I normally. If I go on any trip, if I'm in even in my. I have two places in my house with different toys.

[D]

I mean, I feel you.

[A]

And so if. If I'm really feeling it and me and this guy have chemistry.

[D]

I'm pulling out the right here, right now.

[A]

You know what I mean? I'm like. Do you mind fucking me with a T. Rex dick? My in the middle. I think I did. Well, no, I was looking for the King Noir dick.

[D]

The color that's throwing me out of me.

[C]

I'll F you with a toothbrush.

[A]

See what you pull out.

[C]

Anything.

[A]

A toothbrush is not enough girth. But anyways.

[C]

Anything.

[A]

Yes, vibrant ones. I slept with that. I slept with that. And it was great. Anyways, we have more stuff to get to.

[C]

There's something else to talk about.

[A]

No, no, no. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm gonna ice break it just a little bit.

[D]

Why is it that color, though? Like, that's not sexy, I guess.

[C]

Cause dinosaurs aren't real.

[D]

Cerulean. And cerulean.

[A]

That is not a word.

[D]

Cerulean.

[A]

Cerulean.

[D]

Yeah. The color blue. You fucked it and you don't even know the name of the color.

[C]

Devil wears Prada, bro. That's where we all learn the word, man.

[D]

Y' all got to talk more.

[A]

Cerulean.

[D]

Cerulean.

[A]

What is that?

[D]

She didn't have the 64 crayon box when she was a kid.

[A]

Sorry that I grew up in a single parent household.

[D]

All that means is no. Because all the teachers had them gifted. So you was good.

[A]

No. You ready. Public school system in Florida.

[D]

Your public school system in Florida. And raise you a public school system in Flint.

[A]

You Miami. You Miami. But not if you had the 64 crown. Okay, so before we get into the real talk about love and compartmentalization. We have.

[D]

That's where that dildo went. Environmentalization.

[A]

Granny.

[C]

Y' all getting this trained.

[A]

We have a new segment where we like to check the G card and black card in musical knowledge of our guests. This segment is called Poetry.

[D]

Let's do it.

[A]

And I am going to read in a poetic nature a verse from a song. Now, I chose this song because I've been wanting to play this song or read this song on the. On the platform. And I'm like. I've been judging whether I thought they knew it or not.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But you.

[D]

Yeah, I know.

[A]

I think we should be all right. Let's see if you know this.

[C]

Let me see.

[D]

I feel like I should close my eyes. Go ahead.

[C]

It might be easier. You do it.

[D]

That's actually.

[A]

Now you can lick it, you can.

[D]

Sip it, you can suck it, you can taste it. I'm talking every drip drop. Don't you. What she say? It's enough to fill your cup. This figure looking good and I wish a.

[C]

Woo.

[A]

I thought you wasted, baby slurping up.

[D]

It's enough to fill your cup. You're looking good. And I wish A would go down kind of slow or even fast. Going out like that. And she can eat me out. Hey, I said the. That's the exam.

[C]

I find another one.

[A]

Do you know how many people. I'm like. I'm like, these niggas don't know, Akanelli.

[D]

All I needed was three words. That's a classic.

[A]

No, you do so fast. You know how many people do not know the goddamn lyrics until we get to the court?

[D]

That's like not knowing the words.

[A]

Slow motion.

[D]

He didn't know slow motion. I bet you he know. Be encouraged.

[C]

I said, it's like I've got the world in my arms.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

The palm is like, wait, the girl up on me.

[D]

That's. That's. That's. That's slow motion.

[A]

And he could not get.

[C]

I think I said slow motion. He was like.

[A]

He said, I still don't know.

[D]

He said, elite.

[A]

Oh, my God. You got that so goddamn quick. Yeah, hold on now. I didn't have a backup, but I didn't think he was gonna get it like that.

[D]

Shout out to a Nelly, man, that's one of my favorite songs. My brother used to make me listen to all that shit.

[C]

How much older was your brother than you?

[D]

Eight years. Yeah.

[C]

Did having an older brother, was it, like, pressure to be like, oh, I gotta be big bad?

[D]

Like, not pressure, but encouragement? Hell, yeah. Me and my brother always been friends, you know what I'm saying? So he always let me do everything.

[C]

Eight years. A lot older, too, with the kids.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

So I didn't grow up with siblings, but I always had, like, you know, my mom's little ho. My little whole auntie friends.

[D]

Yep.

[C]

Not my real auntie, but this one.

[A]

Got too much of the same word. Here we go, here we go, here we go. Got one now. You've been living in New York long enough, so I feel like you should get this one.

[C]

That was too much of a hint.

[A]

What, that it's a New York record.

[D]

Yeah, yeah. That was a big hint.

[C]

That was a hint.

[A]

That's too much. That's too much.

[C]

I might give him the one that we just did with Deontay because he didn't get it for a while. And that nigga from Atlanta, ain't he?

[A]

But now you just gave the goddamn location, too. Okay, here we go. Here we go. I'm gonna read it anyway. I'm gonna read it anyway.

[D]

This must be some west coast shit.

[A]

All right. I'm a freak to the core, Get a dose once, you're going to want some more. My tongue touch your girl, your toes bound to curl. This exclusive stick I don't share with.

[D]

The world is this.

[A]

I have you up early in the morning moaning back shot proper or low, can't stop us, you don't have it.

[D]

Mm, mm.

[A]

Been a fiend for this since Rakim made hits. Okay, get the position down, pat down then it's time to switch down pat, Ms. Pat now. All right, nigga, no.

[D]

Is she writing music?

[C]

You ain't getting what she said, stick.

[A]

It speeds up straight, beat it up. And I ain't in the hood with my toast out locking I'm in the telly working up this ain't helping a sweat stroking Tonight's the night you can fall in love. Yeah, you can call your mama right now, tell her you fall in love. I pop a lot of shit. Cause I can back it up, Pop up my left strokes the deathstroke, the strokes, the deathstroke.

[D]

Oh. Oh, damn. Fuck my.

[C]

It's on the tip, period.

[A]

TI No, I got the magic. Okay, okay.

[D]

Well, no, the problem is 50 cent raps in him. He's not like a rapper that you memorize his lyrics except for, like one song, you know what I'm saying? What's the one song in the club, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

I was about to say, I know.

[C]

You up early in the morning.

[A]

Morning.

[C]

I was like. And then it stick.

[A]

No, I know Wankster. Like, 50 is someone that.

[D]

Yeah, I'm more like an album cut. Like real rap music type music, but that's that. No, no, it's not about going viral. It's about that being like a hit record. That's like TRL, you know what I'm saying?

[A]

50 Cent is TRL.

[D]

Some of his music.

[C]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[D]

50 Cent track is like a pop star almost. He was very urban and he was a rapper, and he obviously had a story pass, but he sold down mainstream. That's why he's been able to have monstrous success in television and other mediums of entertainment because the white motherfuckers bought into it. That's why he can still go on concerts. I'm just saying, I think that tells it all right. Like, that is 50 Cent.

[C]

It's like, listen to that song last night.

[D]

Yeah, that was.

[A]

No, no, no, no. He be knowing. He be knowing.

[C]

He be knowing he's not getting Magic Stick. Maybe feel a little bit better about my own taste.

[A]

I got the magic stick. All right, so this next one we do.

[E]

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[A]

This next one we do is reactionary. Now there's two clips that I kind of want to go with each other. And this is preface off two things. All right, so one being our conversation that we had right before the pandemic. And kind of both of us at the time, I was like, oh my God, the world's about to end and I haven't loved anyone. And you're, you're. I will never smoke with you again. Because of that, I was like, really in my feelings. And then you at the time hadn't been in a real committed relationship either. Pandemic happened. We both found ourselves in relationship. However, recently listened to your interview with Micah.

[D]

Shout out to Micah.

[A]

Shout out to Micah. Yeah, and it was really interesting. Hear how you compartmentalize relationships, how you still feel like you show up and respect them while me watching someone clearly feel disregarded in the ways that you showed up, even though it wasn't your intent. And I've been having a lot of conversations here with.

[D]

Wait a minute. What the fuck you talking about? You watch somebody show up disregarded? Who the fuck was disregarded?

[A]

He felt like you ghosted it. Like, he felt like he would have a blast with you one night and.

[D]

He was busy for a week. And then.

[A]

I wanted to hear from you for two.

[D]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[D]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

Can I. Some context? Is this in the interview or.

[D]

It's in the interview with Shout out to Micah Marquez. He's the CEO of the Deviant brand. These big parties globally.

[A]

Red dress as well.

[D]

No, they just. Were. They just.

[C]

So you were talking about a person that.

[A]

No, the interviewer.

[D]

Me and Micah, we. We dated before.

[C]

Okay. This would have been great context. Thank you.

[A]

I sent you the video.

[C]

No, no, for everybody.

[D]

You all my friends. I got you. We're going to talk on gossip a little.

[C]

You all were talking. Talking about y'.

[D]

All.

[C]

That's really a. That's a dope interview.

[D]

Yeah, well, we're great friends to this day. He's married. You know what I'm saying? So we. We've all clearly moved on. You know, he's great. We're really good friends and we work together. I work with Shout out to the nonprofit arm of his deviant company. I love deviant moderate panels and. And all types of things for that. That I'm not a. Holla at me.

[A]

I don't know. Y'. All don't really be having the girls there. But I love all the content. I love all the party.

[D]

Everybody's welcome.

[A]

I love deviant events. Oh, literally, I am deviant.

[D]

Look after the land before time came out that bad.

[C]

That is crazy.

[A]

Don't do me.

[D]

We did what the dinosaur did.

[A]

It was a little leg.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Anyway, these clips. I'm curious because it's. This first clip is a man talking about how you should be. And I just want to play and I want your thoughts after. And then we'll deep dive into it. Here we go.

[D]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but just because we vibing raw. Going on dates, taking trips, meeting each other. Parents talking about kids and futures and marriage and, you know, falling asleep with each other on the phone, spending the night, spending night bags. You know, vibing. Making up nicknames and don't mean we together. Stink. Goodbye, Twin Stink.

[A]

Just vibe Twin. So, yeah, there's that clip and then I want to play another one for Mel Robbins. However, I want to stop it in terms of dating, when I watched that interview with Micah, but also how I've been talking about currently myself, the Internet has felt away because I didn't want a nigga to give me a nickname. I've just been enjoying my partners. And it's weird because everyone's like, well, you're wasting their time. You're not.

[D]

You're wasting your time. Yeah.

[A]

And so I want to ask you, in what ways is it possible as someone who's possibly emotionally available or not looking for partnership at the time, how would you say is a healthy way to show up in just enjoying someone else's space when you don't want anything.

[D]

More than just the moment to communicate that shit? We all grown ups. If we're grown enough to have sex, then we're grown enough to have tough conversations. Right? So communicate that up front before anybody is invested emotionally, financially, or in any other way. You know what I'm saying? Just have those conversations up front and decide if you think they look good enough for you to deal with that.

[A]

Now, what about, cool, we have the conversation.

[D]

That's really what it boils down.

[A]

We have the conversation up front.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You say, I'm not looking for anything serious. They're still around waiting for you to change your mind. Because niggas always think niggas, bitches, everybody think that eventually they're going to be able to change the mind of the person that they're with.

[D]

That's the problem, though. You can't just skate past that part.

[C]

Of the country, you know, Actually, I think what a larger problem is is some of the requirements women have, even though men are giving the answer on what they can provide. For example, a lot of men are telling you they don't want a relationship, and then you say, well, I can't just do casual sex. I need dates, intimacy, whatever. So he's telling you, no, you're saying you need these things. What do you think having these things breeds? Emotions, feelings, disappointment.

[D]

But that's on him, though, because he needs to be mature enough to say, well, you know what? I'm not in a position to offer that. I don't want to offer that, whatever the reason is, and opt out of it.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

I agree.

[D]

You say what you want, they say, no. And then you say something else. Now it's on you to say, well, no, thank you, I'm out.

[A]

It's funny because that was. That was a part of my conversation with the last person that didn't work, like, he was feeling like me. So I was like, okay, so then let's hang out. Because I don't want it to be this transactional thing, which, again, is what I heard you say. Well, nigga, I'm gonna give you a good time. Cause I'm a great time. And then, because I give you a great time. Now boundaries are blurred and crossed, and it's like, I just wanted a good time. You said they're not.

[D]

Boundaries are not blurred. They're not. We have a good time because we're very present, right? Listen, we're here because we obviously have some sort of interest in each other, right? I want to know more about you or experience you a certain way. You want to experience me a certain way. We open to it, so we move forward with that, right? And that's it. Nobody's offering anything else. Nobody's talking about anything else. And if we do have those conversations, which I think are fun, right? If I don't know you and I think you're hot and we talk about some and. Oh, that's how they feel about that. Okay, well, you know why? Let's do the Discovery phase.

[A]

Do you believe what Weezy just said with the fact that if you're now doing the dates, hanging out, that it is inevitable that you're gonna catch the feelings?

[D]

No, you don't.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

No, it's only inevitable if you're not talking about your feelings.

[C]

Ah.

[D]

Because as long again, as long as y' all are talking to each other about shit, then you are able to say, hey, I'm having these feelings. And they're able to say, hey, maybe you shouldn't. Or hey. Or maybe they're able to say, you know what? I am, too.

[C]

Dustin, you aren't dating girls, correct?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

There's no fucking way what you just said is true.

[A]

You don't think so? Hell, no. Someone's trying to be the bitch leading that way.

[D]

So tell me, tell me, what's the difference?

[C]

First of all, the reason that gay men are able to have amazing sex.

[D]

Lives is because they all don't. But go ahead. You just got some cool gay friends.

[C]

Maybe better than women then. Or they're able to have more frivolous sex.

[A]

Sex.

[C]

Casual sex. They're able to have better access to sex is because there's not such a.

[A]

Requirement of the treating people with kindness or.

[C]

I'm not saying treating people, okay? I'm saying the dates, the intimacy, sleepovers, texting daily. Most gay men in my life that Are having casual sex don't have the same connections to the people they're sleeping with. Like, the women in my life do. They are doing way less and happy with it. Don't need the headache. Why am I even gonna lay up with this nigga? I mean, like, they get it, right? Girls need you to stay, like. And I'm one of them, right? Like, I need that too. But I think that we are suffering in our casual sex relationships because we're asking for too much.

[A]

Oh, I ain't gonna hold you.

[D]

Why is it too much? So if that's what you want. I think that's what I don't get.

[C]

Because I think that casual sex doesn't always necessarily. Like, my homegirls will be desperate for dick. I ain't got fucked in so long. But then it's because you can't come over and fuck me. You have to court me even if you don't want to be with me. It's like, too.

[A]

I'm doing that now. Like, I'm having the best.

[D]

I think it's too many rules.

[A]

I don't think so either.

[D]

If that's what you want, then you just get that. You look for that, right?

[A]

Do you know that's what I say?

[D]

In the meantime, if you have an itch you need scratched, you compartmentalize. You have your person that scratches the itch.

[A]

Yeah. Yes and no.

[C]

What you're saying, like, you don't think it's too much? It's not too much.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

If somebody is willing to date you while just fucking you.

[A]

So I think that's.

[D]

I think a lot of people will be willing to do that.

[C]

I think if they were, then we wouldn't have some.

[A]

I also think that word date gets tricky, right? When you're having casual sex. As soon as you put the D word to it, it's now intentioned to be something more. So for me right now why I've been currently so just fulfilled with my casual sex partners is because I'm very adamant that I might want to do trips. I'm going to ask you for shit. I want to go out to eat. We're going to be public. We're going to do all the things, but I don't want really anything else. But to me, when I was having sex with like 247 or in my 20s, Dick was kind of all I was getting. It's all I asked for, even when I wanted more. And then when I asked for more, I asked for more. Too late.

[D]

You just described a friendship with benefits. Though. Oh, is that what it is when you have somebody in your life that you can do all the things? Because what you just named and what you just named Weezy are two different.

[A]

Casual sex and friendship with benefits.

[C]

On the same page with Minnie with that one, though, requiring trips going out, doing together.

[A]

I'm not dating them.

[C]

Casual sex, that's not that casual to me. We going on trips, doing all this like. And you're.

[D]

So here's, here's what I think, right? Because like, if you like. Okay, let's be transparent, right? You can have some. I won't be vague. You can have. You could.

[A]

Too, honestly.

[D]

You can have people in your life that you know for a long time, you've known for a long time, you've had a multi year connection with, that reflects even love per se. Right? You can love a person that have always been down with them, have years of fleeting, fun, casual moments like that, go on trips together. You might even look out for them in a certain way. Buy them gifts and shit. They're special to you. You know what I'm saying? Y' all both are not interested in turning this into a marriage, per se. But y' all just know what it is. It's somebody that's been in your life for years. You know what I'm saying? You have people like that or you can't have those experiences.

[C]

There's something to add to that. Now I know what the problem is. You can do that. Mandy is outwardly saying she's not looking for a boyfriend or marriage.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Now if I am looking for a boyfriend or marriage and you don't want that, that why the am I doing this?

[A]

Blame yourself.

[D]

Exactly.

[A]

That's why you said that. People be like, I'm wasting their time. Nah.

[D]

Wants that same.

[C]

And so what?

[A]

People waste their own time. You waste your own.

[C]

They know they want a boyfriend or a husband. That guy is telling you no, so you're like, you know what? In the interim, while I'm looking for that husband, I'll do all these things.

[D]

With you because people get lonely and have needs and you just got to do ninja training. You are some kind of way to lie. Exactly.

[C]

I actually. In the last. No, maybe not the last, but there was a relationship that I wanted. He wasn't ready for more. But the sex was great and I felt safe with the sex.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I had to cut my own self off.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I had to leave at certain times because I knew if I started getting breakfast, I would get cozy and then we would walk around that day and do something else. And I was like, let me cut. Because what happened was. And I believe a lot of women should stick to this because I was getting the itch scratched of the intimacy. I wouldn't look for it anywhere else. I wouldn't actively date. I wasn't swiping anymore. Cause like, why? We just went on a movie date, we had dinner. Like, I don't give a fuck. I'm good until next week when I see you again.

[A]

Oh, I do that. I get dicked down. I be good for a month. I don't even respond to niggas when I'm good. Like. And they don't even know. That's why I'm not responding. But nigga, I just got dicked down, squirted all over the room. I'm good for the next couple weeks. I don't even wanna be around nobody else.

[C]

If these women are really wanting relationships. You gotta learn to cut yourself off from that.

[A]

Because if it's devil did, it takes discipline. Yeah, it does.

[D]

But that's maturity in adulthood, right? All the things that will benefit us or be, you know, for our good, take discipline. They take us telling ourselves, no sacrificing shit. Sex and love is the same thing, you know what I mean? I met somebody that I like straight up loved, right? And they loved me too. But I'm never looking for a relationship. And they were in a point where a lot of stuff was really going on in their life too. You know what I'm saying? That we just couldn't like do that. And so I just shut all that off. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

What does that look like?

[D]

The relationship. But I shut off. We didn't. We wasn't laying up no more. We were talking. We weren't doing none of that shit.

[C]

It must be hard when you love somebody.

[D]

It was tough. But I knew that that was what needed to be done. Because otherwise what are we gonna do? Be stupid at our big ages and. And do anything just cause we want to feel good? What the fuck? I'm a grown ass man. I just want.

[A]

It's like, it's like. It's like drugs.

[D]

It's like drugs gotta make good decisions.

[C]

That's a really fair point.

[A]

And I mean, but they were also talking about too, like, in terms of how we view sex. There was an NBA player recently that talked about how his brother had a vice of gambling. And his vice was women. And he knew how it showed up. Very unhealthy because he was getting his hit off of sex with Women. And I think that, like you said, it could be hard, it could be tempting. But the same way you're in a toxic relationship or laying up with someone that's not good for you, you have to be strong enough to get your ass away from them.

[D]

My phone rang, and I wanted to answer the phone so bad. Recently?

[A]

From that person?

[D]

No, somebody else.

[A]

Okay.

[D]

And I wanted to answer that phone so bad, and I didn't answer why? Because I knew that it wasn't going to lead to something good for either of us.

[C]

Are you actively even in relationships, like, not speaking out?

[D]

Yeah. I don't. Like, I've never been a person. I've never understood the notion of, like, looking for a partner. I think you meet a motherfucker and it's like, you.

[C]

I agree with you.

[A]

That's me.

[C]

But then how do you have someone that loves you back, have great sex? All these things and it's not them.

[D]

Because it wasn't the right time for that person. The timing just wasn't right.

[C]

You know what I like about what you just said? I would love to bring box theory back up because we talked about this with somebody recently where when you meet somebody, you put them in a box, right. And doesn't say, he got one box.

[A]

All y' all niggas going in one box.

[C]

So the box is you're unattracted to them. The second is you want to fuck them, and the third is you want to wipe them up. So I asked all my homeboys, but basically, is this true? All of them said, yeah, it pretty is like. It's true. Except for maybe one got out the box. And what you just said that I thought was interesting. My boyfriend, I asked him how I got out the box because I know I'm a sex podcaster. You Google me, you just go on a fuck.

[D]

Right? Beautiful, self made. You know what I'm saying? Hell, yeah.

[E]

Anyway.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

Stop.

[D]

Yeah. Know how to do that to her breast? You see how she just did that? That's a skill. So, yeah, go ahead, wheezy.

[C]

So he said, the reason that I was able to date women for so long and, like, end up seeing that you were right for me is because I haven't been looking for a partner this whole time.

[D]

Exactly.

[C]

I always just thought, okay, she'll come up. So, because I wasn't obsessive about meeting this wife or this woman I've been able to date, figure out what I want. And it goes back to something Jody said about, are we dating for the experience? Like, do. How do we like how we feel with them. Etc. Or because you're a great.

[A]

Oh no, I think most. I think most women. Yeah, no, most. Most women, as soon as a give them enough attention, they see this as a potential partner.

[D]

Like saying that's a version of checking the box.

[C]

Yes, Consistency.

[D]

Because all you're looking for is someone to show attention. Everything else will work around.

[A]

A could text you every other day. A nigga could text you once a week. Like consistency is subjective, but just showing of attention. There's women that literally just crave the attention from a man at all. And now this is my potential partner. Let me cut everyone off and try to reel him in close.

[C]

You really aren't digging to see what dating looks like. Like, I think meeting people in your 30s and 40s like to become real life partners is probably the best time because you.

[D]

I think it is the appropriate time personally based on life experience. Like 30s, 40s, when you're supposed to really your late 30s and your 40s are when you're supposed to life.

[A]

I can still have fun.

[D]

That's when you start considering things differently. But your early 30s, your 20s, that's a time for having experiences. Right. And learning from the experiences that you have.

[A]

It's so funny. I sat with Ashley Cobb on selective ignorance and I said, well, what would be the advice that you give more women? And she was like, hoe longer. And of course it sounds crazy to say it in that sense, but it's literally like you don't know what things you truly want from a partner, how you show up the things you want in the bedroom if you don't have more experiences under your belt.

[D]

That's what they mean when they go to women's conferences and they say stuff like get to know yourself. That's what they talking about. Right.

[A]

Just in a better, more evenly digestible way.

[D]

Stop playing what you think the evolution was.

[A]

You know what's crazy? I literally say that because her two versions of it, her book is that she was fucking and got pregnant at 16 and yet we can't come on her podcast.

[D]

Really?

[A]

That's what her book is about. She was a pastor.

[D]

Sometimes you just gotta say God bless.

[A]

She was the bastard's daughter. Literally talked about the navigation of her own early childhood and where she's at now. We don't align as a brand.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

And I wish we could because I think her platform is something that more women who either are ingrained in the church or don't feel safe to. To. To navigate things with people like minded people or they hold shame or are too afraid to talk about things. This book and our journeys are something that I would love to share on.

[D]

A platform like that 100. But those same sisters.

[A]

Oh, I know, I know.

[D]

I say it with an ah. They buying that book.

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

They just not buying it or you're not.

[A]

Oh, no.

[D]

They're able to present it on the stage.

[A]

I was about to say they're taking the COVID off.

[D]

That's right. Walking around with it like they're buying.

[C]

That book that we haven't done. That makes it harder to realize how much depth is in there. We are the comedy podcast. Like, we're not gonna have the md. We're not Sex with Emily or even Shan Booty, who's, like, certified in certain types of therapy. And we love Shan.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

So I think when you have people that are exploring and more crass up front, that's harder to connect with. If Shan asked Sarah to go on her podcast, that would look differently because. Oh, certified masterclass. There's something there that makes you trust that person to hear about sex.

[A]

The great thing is we got a masterclass. Certified New York Times bestseller.

[D]

I was just about to go there. The great thing is there's room for everybody. Right?

[C]

Right.

[D]

And as. As a successful person of the cloth, you know what I'm saying? She has made a name for herself, whether you want to call it nepotism or not, which I think. I think there's nothing wrong with nepotism.

[A]

In black communities, period.

[D]

But y' all are doing yalls thing. She literally has a conference called Women Evolve, perhaps. Usually when you have a mind that is open to theological concepts and things like that, you evolve. The more, you know, you guys might end up meeting each other where you. Where you do, you know what I'm saying?

[C]

I think I've let go a little bit of the fact that, like, I don't know, with this book, we've had some things that have happened that made us so upset. And I've tried to approach it with, like, you know what?

[D]

Not want to let y' all in and period. But you see how, again, New York Times bestseller, period. They can't stop that. You know what I'm saying?

[C]

You gotta let go of so much, so many of the people that won't open the door.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And go inside of the door.

[D]

So don't. That's why Lunel was cussing Shannon Sharp ass out the other day. You seen that nation, I think, calling them ugly and all kinds. She said that she.

[A]

She.

[D]

Shannon and them Told her no about coming on Club Shay Shay Lunell, the first janice from the Muppets. Lunel. So like, so Lunel said Shannon Sharp was ugly and that that's why he wear them tight clothes and all this other shit. Because she said now that he's been through this recent, you know, situation back around, they want her on. And she was like, fuck em. That's how I think y' all need to be about the people that reject you guys when it comes to this incredible work that you ladies have done. That is something you should be so proud of. Right? Fuck them people that don't want to, you know, have that conversation. It's a lot of other people that are listening and more importantly, reading.

[C]

Y' all want to know something crazy?

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Before I got to Atlanta, oh, I had a rough night before I got on that plane. Ooh, I have this. These people reach out to me to start making content for them and like, like putting them in their sphere of advertisement. I guess they work with influencers. Whatever sends me a text about why after reaching out to me, why they couldn't work with me and said, we think that there's nothing we could like help you do because most of our clients need more PR or want to make a book or whatever and you kind of already have these things, but maybe a luxury product development like vibrator situation could work for you. And I was like, what you telling me after hours and hours of calls and what are we going to do.

[A]

About branding and this?

[C]

And you said, all you can make is a fucking vibrator. You want me to sell something else besides my New York Times wrestling book? And it's a vibrator. I was, I'm not surprised. I was so gagged. I remember calling Brooke Devard because she's an influencer friend I have that's like constantly working with brands and akin to them. She was like, alex Cooper is talking about sucking dick.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

You can only make a vibrator.

[D]

Yeah. Like it was, you know how the game go, period. And it's crazy. It's just so crazy when it happens right in front of your face like that. And you'd be like, yo, what the fuck, Dustin?

[C]

I ain't even asked for any of that.

[D]

That's really gay. Now, mind you, I show love to everybody. Y' all got me talking shit today.

[A]

Please.

[D]

I show love to everybody who you don't show it to. I show love to a funky ass, no nothing ass motherfucker that don't deserve it, which you know, I won't but there's so many gay organizations, right? Big name gay organizations who platform and push forward. So many voices that I'm personally really happy to see get the opportunity, right? Cause I believe it's space for everybody. But y' all ain't ringing my bell. Why y' all only want a certain type of gay person, you know what I'm saying? But mind you, I'm openly gay. I don't run from that, you know what I'm saying? I like to actually talk about it a lot. Cause I want people to be used to being around people like me, right? But it's so many big name like gay organizations that why I ain't been on the. Well, I haven't hosted the GLAAD Awards.

[A]

Wait, what type of gay do they want?

[D]

You know what I'm saying? I don't know. You tell me what you see.

[A]

I mean, I.

[D]

So. No, I mean, I'm just saying. Cause there's a different.

[C]

It's beyond black.

[D]

There's a lot. Oh, it's so.

[C]

It's deeper than just thinking.

[D]

Most of the time it's never black. So let's even. Let's go there, right?

[A]

And when it is black, flamboyant black.

[D]

Shout out to glaad. We've worked together before. Shout out to a couple other organizations, human rights organization, a couple different people. I've worked with Native Son, you know what I'm saying? A couple different organizations, but there's a ton more. Yeah, I have a lot of dollars that they put behind. Work with media personalities and quote unquote influencers and like that. A lot of opportunities that I just don't get, you know. But they'll put another. That can't even read a teleprompter, you know what I'm saying? Up there. Just because they think that they're trending right now or whatever. So it's just, you know how the game go. Don't let that discourage you. Tell them to take that vibrator.

[A]

Oh, you know, and shove it up, you know.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Shove it up there.

[D]

Whole dinosaur. Kick it in there.

[A]

All right, now, before we go out.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

We do have another segment. You know what? Let me not go to the. Because real quick, let me ask you. You've been.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Do you have. We have a segment called what is it? We ask and we do judge.

[C]

Oh, listen.

[A]

And we listen and we do judge.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Where normally you would come and tell us a story about a friend, gossip you've heard, where we could sit here and judge them and Just talk about them or I like to pick, like little parts from the book. And so I chose to pick progression because I know you had that relationship. I wanted to dig into what love and relationships currently look like for you and what you learned from your last relationship.

[D]

Let's do that.

[A]

Okay. So in progression, y' all know in the book no Holds Barred, our New York Times bestseller, we lean into, which we've. We. We lean into things that we've learned about ourselves and in ways that we can improve moving forward. And so you being a person, that's not a relationship guy.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

But that wasn't a pretty long standing relationship ended that. I want to know what the most. What's the number one thing you learned about yourself and what thing you would take in possibly a future relationship based on how that relationship ended?

[D]

Yeah. So I love my ex. You know what I'm saying? We don't speak, but I love. I love him and I hope he's well, you know what I'm saying? You learn a lot of lessons. Everything is more clear on the other side of it, you know what I'm saying? And so. So I think just showing up in the fullness of yourself and not necessarily trying to create or configure yourself as the perfect person for them. When you love a person, you can identify their needs and areas where some nurturing could make them even better than they already are.

[C]

That's true.

[D]

And sometimes you can focus on that and showing up in those ways for a person as opposed to kind of showing them what you need too. And then before you know it, things have just gotten to a point where you're not. Because you're not showing up as yourself. They don't really even know how to be there for you, no matter how much. And then it gets frustrating for everybody because we both love each other so much and we can't figure out how to do this right. So, you know, hindsight is 20 20. I think that's something that I would take moving forward, not just in romantic shit, but just friendships. Friendships are actually way more valuable to me than romantic connections because they are just so worth it. They're so valuable, you know? And so just showing up that way for my friends, I want all my friends to know how much I care about them, how important their happiness and their successes are to me, you know, I just move forward with that shit, you know? Cause I actually lost two of my best friends. I know that. And so losing them older in life, you know what I'm saying? I'm Sensitive, you know what I'm saying? My whole body feel like a nipple. You know what I'm saying? I'm just out here. You know what I'm saying? I'm sensitive right now. So with that being said, I'm aware of the sensitive areas that exist in the relationships in my life, and I try my best to just supplement those relationships as best I can.

[A]

Y', all, if you ever hate how I sound about describing my lack of romantic relationships and why I value my friends, I'm just gonna get Dustin to voice my thoughts and say it a lot more eloquently. Cause when I say this sounds like, bitch, you gonna be lonely forever.

[D]

You need a nigga, maybe.

[A]

Cause you're a man, you could say it, but. But that's exactly my same shit.

[D]

You ain't nothing but a gay. The fag ho just want to. That's all. They going, yeah, you know how I go.

[A]

You right, cuz apparently we're on this planet to be put romantically with another person or two or three or four or five or six or seven or eight or nine.

[D]

21, you know, do your thing.

[C]

That's funny.

[A]

Do your thing.

[C]

Listen, this is a lot of punch up in the middle of your. I like this.

[D]

I like y'.

[A]

All. Oh, listen, when I get the budget, I done already told Dustin I'm working on some stuff. And I said, I'll slide you the check. Need you to come punch up. Need you to be a writer. You do that. You do that shit.

[D]

I got you now.

[A]

Where can everyone listen to you, support you? Rock with you, Dustin.

[D]

So we're wrapping up this leg of the show, Shout out to everybody. This was a really special section of shows. These were my first shows where I presented as a standup comedian. So these people bought tickets with no proof of concept. They had never had really no word of mouth. And we've had an overwhelming amount of stuff. Support. Selling out left and right.

[C]

That's so dope.

[D]

Playing the fucking improv.

[A]

I love it.

[D]

Like, just. Just so many things that are milestones for comedians. I've been so blessed and grateful to experience this first set out. So we have two more shows this weekend here in Atlanta City Winery. We about to do that. Much love to everybody that bought a ticket. I'm finna show my ass.

[A]

I'm excited to see it.

[D]

They want to see Can't Wait. Can't wait.

[A]

I'm excited. And then you said you have a second leg dropping.

[D]

Yeah. So then we're gonna release some more days coming soon. We got a few other markets that we're gonna hit that I'm really excited about and a whole new show that I've worked on. So I'm just really excited to keep doing this. Telling jokes. It's so much fun. You know, I was born to talk shit, baby.

[A]

I'm not gonna lie. I have a lot going on. And when I see how much you talk between all your podcasts, now you on tour, I was like, okay, I guess I can. I can keep talking.

[D]

You can keep talking. You gotta keep talking, man.

[A]

I love that you're talking. I love hearing you. Your voice. I know everyone listening is, like, sitting in a puddle right now because your voice just sounds so great. Thank you for rocking with us.

[D]

Thank y' all for having me. I love y'. All. I'm proud of y'. All.

[C]

Thank you.

[D]

Congratulations on Trap House Wheez.

[C]

Thank you. You gotta come.

[D]

This is the dopest, flyest, and I'm definitely coming out.

[A]

You and your stretch up.

[D]

Yes. Yes. I love.

[C]

I feel like, you know, when you're. You got a new baby. I love seeing a whorehive in there.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

Like, working on everybody doing a concept that you really love. Like, just like you said, talking.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

I've always been a fitness, wellness girly, but not like, feeling like I had the body type thing.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

You know, if you talking about working out, a want to see it.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

But a know I love house and trap.

[D]

That's right. So you got the trap house. See how that works?

[A]

Period.

[D]

Perfect. Know what I'm saying? And shout out to our friend Gabby. I love you, Gabby.

[C]

Love you, Gab.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[D]

That's our friend. That's her best friend. And that's my girl. Yeah.

[C]

My home girl. Gabby. Can you hear me?

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

Yes. That's my girl.

[A]

I know. I see you on the Instagram.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

All right, well, guys, if you haven't yet, make sure you purchase our book, no holds barred, A dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Available now, wherever you get books.

[D]

I'm writing the boy one. No buttholes. Bring me on. No.

[A]

What? No buttholes. Yeah, no, that's the we want.

[D]

Is this the front? So we're going. So I was going to talk about the back part. Y' all talking about the front?

[A]

We. I mean, no, I talk about the back.

[D]

I was going to write this part of the scene.

[A]

I got a whole chapter called you can put it back there.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

Period.

[D]

I got the.

[A]

Hey, y', all, if you want bonus action, make sure you join us over on patreon patreon.com Horrible Decisions this has been another episode of Decisions Decisions.

[C]

Bye, y'.

[A]

All. Bye.

[F]

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[E]

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[A]

Terms apply.

[C]

Lounge access is subject to change.

[A]

See capitalone.com for details. This is an iHeart podcast.