EP 447: Finding Love & Sharing Results (ft.Danielle Campbell & Raheem DeVaughn)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Decisions, Decisions – EP 447: Finding Love & Sharing Results (ft. Danielle Campbell & Raheem DeVaughn)

Release Date: November 17, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B & WeezyWTF
Guests: Dr. Danielle Campbell (HIV researcher & advocate), Raheem DeVaughn (R&B singer and HIV awareness advocate)

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Overview

In this candid and educational episode, Mandii B and WeezyWTF dive deep into the stigmas, myths, and modern realities surrounding sexual health, HIV prevention, and testing—especially within Black communities and among women. The hosts, alongside Dr. Danielle Campbell and R&B singer/advocate Raheem DeVaughn, challenge outdated notions of sexual health, discuss personal journeys with PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis), and provide practical tips for empowering sexual health conversations in relationships. Through humor, vulnerability, and crucial myth-busting, they create a safe space for listeners to get real about getting tested, advocating for themselves, and shedding stigma.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Challenging Stigma and Normalizing Sexual Health

• The hosts reflect on past confusion and myths around STDs and HIV, highlighting ongoing learning over more than a decade of podcasting.
• Dr. Danielle Campbell joins to clarify misconceptions and emphasize the importance of knowing one's status:
  • “You have to feel empowered to ask folks about their sexual health history. It's important. It's an important component of empowerment, and it's just something that we should normalize as we talk about sex.” (Mandy, 07:10)

2. PrEP Access and Experience

• Mandy shares her journey to starting PrEP, noting new injectable options and providing resources for NYC listeners (05:11).
• Discussion of PrEP's stigma, especially among Black women, and efforts to normalize conversations outside LGBTQ+ communities.
• “We have men who aren't able to live in their best selves, and Black women are a part of that because we don't provide a safe space for them to live.” (Mindy B, 16:20)
• “HIV prevention starts with you.” (Weezy, 18:37)

3. Making Sexual Health Conversations Less Awkward

• The hosts and Danielle role-play how to ask new partners for test results—normalizing direct requests for health information.
• Barriers highlighted: Many are unaware of platforms like MyChart, and even among sex-positive individuals, requesting results is stigmatized (08:00-09:23).
• The importance of regular and comprehensive testing, not just with symptoms or new partners.

4. Comprehensive Testing & Anatomy Education

• Advocacy for full swabbing/testing (throat, vaginal, anal) depending on sexual practice—providers often miss this (21:23-22:38).
• “Wherever something goes, a swab should.” (Mandy, 22:24)
• Clarification of what STIs can live in the throat—chlamydia, gonorrhea, and syphilis—and why sex workers often use condoms for oral sex (24:03-25:03).

5. Navigating Stigma with Humor and Honesty

• Lighthearted “Would You Rather” reveals it’s easier for most to confess to being on weight loss drugs (Ozempic) than on PrEP, due to deep-rooted stigma about sexual health among women (16:05-18:04).
• “I really do believe telling someone you're on Ozempic versus telling them you're on prep would make them, quote, unquote, judge you less.” (Weezy, 26:24)

6. Dating, Regional Stats, and HIV Prevalence

• The hosts share the “Top 10 Cities for Black Singles to Find Love,” juxtaposing these with cities’ HIV rates (28:44-32:38).
• Seven of the top ten cities also rank highest for new HIV infections, highlighting the need for targeted conversations in high-risk areas.

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Memorable Quotes

• On “Dirty” Language:
  “We are not using the word dirty...but, you could still have something because they didn’t do all the swabs.” (Mindy B & Mandy, 21:14)
• On Testing Rituals:
  “Once I put that little peacup through that window, I be like, how long gonna be? Don't let me do it on a Friday and these bitches don’t get back to me till Tuesday.” (Weezy, 20:43)
• On Normalizing Sexual Health Care:
  “Sexual health care should be standard across the board. Wherever something goes, a swab should.” (Mandy, 22:24)
• On Empowerment:
  “If my virus is suppressed, I have virtually no possibility of transmitting HIV to someone else.” (Mandy, 51:28)
• On Stigma:
  “This is a crazy stigma...that it's only for gay people or, you know, LGBTQ.” (Raheem DeVaughn, 68:53)
• On Relationship Realities:
  “There are folks out here that don't know what HIV is, which is crazy.” (Raheem DeVaughn, 63:24)

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Notable Segments & Timestamps

| Segment | Content | Timestamp | |---------|---------|-----------| | Opening & Context | Hosts set the tone—pushing boundaries, sharing personal growth, intro Danielle | 01:52–03:41 | | PrEP: Myths, Stigma, & Access | PrEP journey, bisexual male partners, risk at sex clubs, NYC resources | 04:26–06:07 | | Normalizing Test Results Conversations | Role-play asking partners for results, importance of consistent testing | 06:09–10:46 | | How To Get Fully Tested | Debate on swabbing all orifices, what to ask providers | 21:23–23:12 | | Would You Rather: Ozempic vs. PrEP? | Exploring medical vs. sexual health stigma | 16:05-18:04 | | Dating Survey and HIV Risk | Top cities for Black singles, overlap with high HIV rates | 28:44–32:45 | | Myth Busting with Danielle | HIV transmission, “Girlfriends” TV episode, social determinants | 40:37–54:15 | | Raheem DeVaughn on Advocacy | Personal story, how his doctor raised PrEP, educating sons, discussion on Black men, relationships, and stigma | 57:44–76:57 | | At-Home Testing & Support | How Raheem navigates new relationships, using at-home tests | 76:29–78:36 | | Final Reflections | Empowering listeners, resources, healthysexuals.com | 83:13–84:45 |

---

Resources and Call-to-Action

• Where to Get Tested/Get PrEP:
  • Planned Parenthood
  • Local state health departments
  • Pharmaceutical resources (provided on episode's page)
  • HealthySexuals.com
• Comprehensive resources and NYC-specific PrEP shot locations are linked in the episode description.

---

Tone & Language

• A mix of frankness, humor, and deep honesty (“bitch, Trick be out here tricking you!”, “we demure. Y’ all go over to preach.”)
• Normalizes mistakes and learning—hosts and guests admit past confusion and incorrect language, always striving to get it right.
• Encourages empowerment and self-advocacy without shame; challenges assumptions through real stories and vulnerability.

---

Key Takeaways

• Stigma regarding PrEP and HIV remains high, especially within Black communities and among women, but open, honest conversations can break down barriers.
• Consistent, comprehensive testing—including all relevant body sites depending on sexual activity—is essential.
• PrEP is for everyone, not just LGBTQ+ individuals; heterosexual, monogamous, and married people could all benefit.
• Knowing your status is empowering, not shameful; treatment and prevention options are effective and increasingly accessible.
• Practical tips are provided for starting these conversations in friendships, families, and relationships—plus guidance for teens and adult men.
• Access to testing and prevention remains unequal, especially in areas with high HIV rates and reduced funding—advocacy and awareness can bridge gaps.

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If you take away one thing: Sexual health is health. Owning your status, advocating for your safety, and pushing through stigma are radical acts of self-love and community care.

---

Episode Guest Plugs:

• Dr. Danielle Campbell: HIV research & community advocacy
• Raheem DeVaughn: Love Life Foundation (HIV & youth empowerment), HealthySexuals.com

Hosts: @fullcourtpumps, @weezywtf
Find more honest, boundary-pushing conversations each week on Decisions, Decisions.

Transcript

[Mandy]

This is an Iheart podcast.

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[Mindy B]

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[Raheem Devon]

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[Raheem Devon]

For a great price.

[Mindy B]

So that means a half day. Yeah, give it a [e-mail] Save upfront.

[Weezy]

Payment of $45 for three month plan.

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[Mindy B]

Speed slow after 35 gigabytes of networks.

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[Weezy]

Cmintmobile.com welcome to Decisions Decisions.

[Mindy B]

I don't think you should say Decisions Decisions. It sounded like you was talking. It cursed him.

[Weezy]

You definitely say the welcome.

[Mindy B]

Welcome to the new podcast.

[Weezy]

Oh wait, you want to say it together?

[Mindy B]

Decisions Decisions. Hey guys. Welcome to another episode of Decisions Decisions. I'm your girl, Mindy B. I'm Weezy y'. All.

[Weezy]

We have a great episode for you today. Over the years you heard us talk about and fuck up a lot of conversations about std. We fucked him up man. Bitch. We've had some confusion, but you know what we've learned? It's been almost a decade and we're still learning so this episode, I'm actually excited to, like, get my myth busted. But y' all have heard us also talk about Gilead. I've been doing the risky dinners with them for the last five or six years. Mandy and I came with Gilead to essence, and they actually introduced us to our guest today. Let me give you the real intro, sister. I want to make it feel like you want a real daytime TV show. I'll be doing.

[Mindy B]

And you better look at us. You over there looking at yourself on the monitor.

[Mandy]

Nobody's there where to go.

[Mindy B]

We're right. Stop looking like, damn, you wanna watch this on tv? We right in front of you, girl.

[Weezy]

Here we go. Dr. Danielle M. Campbell is an HIV prevention treatment and care researcher and community organizer for the hiv, AIDS and sexual and reproductive health rights justice. Bitch, no, you did a typo on this.

[Mandy]

Maybe not.

[Weezy]

Anyway, she know a lot and we are so glad to have you. You do a lot of awareness policies and campaigns. And so, yeah, we would love to have conversations just about the stigmas around hiv, the stigmas around std, learning how to get prevention, learning how to get it and not be told no. As we heard Mandy, her experience years ago.

[Mindy B]

Yeah, years ago. I'm now on that, on that thing. But also just a couple weeks ago, if you guys tune into our Wednesday drops, you got decisions. When Asante came on with me shout out to Assante, we had a listener write in and say that she found the prep medication in her boyfriend's medicine cabinet. And it was just really interesting, the conversations that shout out to our patrons that dropped below because there was a conversation around it being that he dealt with men or was promiscuous. And so there was just. I really loved the back and forth conversation around why someone may want to get on it. Y' all know me, I'm still waiting for my bisexual husband. So I'm fine with, you know, everybody loving everybody.

[Weezy]

He's probably watching right now, but him and his boyfriend aren't sure.

[Mindy B]

No, no, no, no. Well, or he with his girlfriend and maybe they just suck a little dick together. You know what I mean? I don't know. But for me, being super in and, like, open to dating a person who's fluid, I think going to sex clubs, I think also being very aware of casual sex and how many people just out here don't want to use condoms. I'm very. Just aware of everything. And so Prep has been something that I've talked about on this pod now for a few years. I'm so happy to now I'm on it now. I'm waiting for the goddamn two shots that I hear is out here.

[Mandy]

You have to keep us updated on your journey to get it.

[Mindy B]

Yes, because. And I actually. And I'll talk to you off of here. And I wanted to share it. Guys, if you are listening to this episode, go to the description. If you're in New York City, there are now two shots and I'm going to share the four locations that were given to me that are giving them out. So look in the description of this episode, if you're curious about getting it, we're going to put it there.

[Weezy]

And also even just beyond, I feel like we all know condom, but even beyond that, I think that's why the prep conversation is so good. Because absolutely one people forget condoms can break. And at the end of the day, sometimes we're lit. They don't happen. Whatever the case is, if it's not 100%, at least you've got this backup. And I love having the conversation about prep because for years we've heard our male gay friends talk about it and now we get to have the conversation for our number one demo, black women and all our other sisters in there, 27 Caucasians.

[Mindy B]

Okay.

[Mandy]

Oh, Lord, not the 27 Caucasians.

[Weezy]

We've been joking. We got 27 white listeners since year one.

[Mindy B]

That's about. But it's way more than that now.

[Mandy]

I think so.

[Mindy B]

Oh, it's way more than.

[Weezy]

No, it's 35. So. All right, we're going to do a little practice with the both of you. Okay. So Mandy actually had just said to us on an episode, she was basically saying this guy was like, all right, how many times until we fuck to not use a condom?

[Mindy B]

Oh yeah.

[Weezy]

And I think we need to do a little role play on even before nigga gets there. So here we go.

[Mindy B]

Both of you.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Weezy]

God. Scenarios on how to make asking for test results less awkward. So previous partner you've had in the past spins the block before in the past, you guys have shared results. He says, baby, you just got tested though, you good. I ain't been with nobody anyway, so I'm good too, right? What is your response?

[Mandy]

Can I see your. My chart?

[Weezy]

Can I see your. My chart?

[Mandy]

Uh huh.

[Weezy]

Just immediately.

[Mandy]

Can I see your. My chart?

[Weezy]

No.

[Mindy B]

Ok. Yeah. Okay.

[Mandy]

Off. Tease up. We would have had a conversation. We. You have to have a conversation, right? You have to feel empowered to ask folks about their sexual health history. It's important. It's an important component of empowerment and it's just Something that we should normalize as we talk about sex.

[Weezy]

I agree with the. My chart, but I actually, Mandy has said she was like a year ago, so I'm like, if you don't know what my chart is, like, you ain't got the language. And I kind of agree because across.

[Mandy]

The city, it would be very telling.

[Weezy]

I'm being a little empowered. Spirit empowered, I would say. Everybody pretty much knows my chart.

[Mindy B]

You know what's crazy? No, no, no.

[Weezy]

I mean, like, for the lifestyle people.

[Mindy B]

For lifestyle people. And I think for the people that are not. A lot of my friends do not get tested.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Mindy B]

So a lot of men. A lot. Majority of our listeners, I would even say, don't know what my chart is. The casual sex person, the person who's in relationships, the person who's not in the lifestyle, I don't think gets tested as often. I don't think they know what my chart is to just ask it like that. I shared last year, I was wanting to be a unicorn, and I dated a couple and we all went out and they were like, well, recent test results are necessary before we play, mind you. Also, when I did end up playing with them, condoms were used still. But before we all, literally, me, the guy, the woman, we all had to share our recent results. And when I told my friends that, oh, the conversations were like, what do you mean? So, like, y' all were vibing and y'. All. You didn't go back with them because they wanted your results. Do they think you're dirty? Do they? And that's always the conversation, too. But when I was telling my friends, oh, we're gonna plan to play after we all get tested, when I tell you those conversations were like, what, bitch? Like, I know as sex positive as I am, as long as I've had this podcast, my closest friends, I can say my chart. And they would say, what is that?

[Weezy]

Wow.

[Mandy]

So even aside from conversations around sexual health, your lab results, your plans of care, all of those things are part of your MyChart.

[Mindy B]

You know what's crazy? They know whether they need fibroid removal. Like, a lot of them that would be in your. My chart on their reproductive health. But I. And I guess when they go and get checked for that, sometimes they get checked for the other things as well.

[Mandy]

Sometimes it's fucking wild.

[Weezy]

Sometimes a year is probably the average of most women because of they're getting their results when they get their pap. Right?

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Mindy B]

But even Pap's.

[Mandy]

Even recommendations around pap. Yep. Have changed. So it's not annual, but part of the conversation we should be having around sexual health. Reproductive health is just what we're saying, normalizing.

[Mindy B]

It doesn't matter if you had only one. One sexual partner in the last three months. Like, I'm. It's every. Every three months. And if I do a little too much, I'm like, ooh, let me. A little too much like hedonism.

[Mandy]

Okay, okay.

[Mindy B]

So I went and was like, let me make sure everything is. Is in the clear, but good job. It's crazy because one of the questions asked, especially when you. I go to Planned Parenthood. Trump, you fucking orange Cheeto bitch. You better stop fucking with the goddamn funding. God damn it. I love Planned Parenthood.

[Weezy]

Shit.

[Mindy B]

I think that's. Is that where I got my abortion when I was 16? I don't know. But for everything that I get done, one of the questions asked often is, do you have any symptoms of any STDs? Like, what is your reason for coming in? And it's crazy because having that conversation with the provider yesterday, I'm an open book. But I can understand how kind of, like, alarming a lot of the questions are. They ask, like, men, women, how many partners, how often do you have sex? A lot of the questions, even for me, when I was putting, I was like, damn, bitch, I just want to eat it. I'm putting like, oh, I did.

[Weezy]

But problem sex treatment, now, that's the first thing that we don't judge depending.

[Mindy B]

On how many people could be like, not want to share those questions. And so if. And this is just me telling you, if you don't even have symptoms, if your pee is right, you ain't itching, you ain't scratching.

[Mandy]

That's it.

[Mindy B]

Still go and get tested because there are a lot of us who can be asymptomatic where you don't know. And another thing too, because I always have to request it when you go and get tested for the things you have to ask for. Trick. Trick is one of the tricky ones, y'.

[Mandy]

All. Damn it, Trick.

[Mindy B]

Trick be out here tricking you.

[Mandy]

I see.

[Mindy B]

But is it trichinosis?

[Mandy]

Trichomoniasis.

[Mindy B]

Trichomoniasis.

[Weezy]

Yo, there's both right or we just saying it wrong? It's.

[Mindy B]

It's trich. Trichonomyosis. It's trichonosis.

[Weezy]

Oh, we just been calling it trich.

[Mandy]

What is trichinosis?

[Mindy B]

Oh, wait, let's. Girl, get the.

[Weezy]

Hold on.

[Mindy B]

I just know Trick, and it's Trick with a ch. Uh huh. But the rest of the word trichotillomania.

[Mandy]

Nope, not sure what that is.

[Weezy]

That's like a theme park, right?

[Mindy B]

What is that? Oh, a disorder that involves recurrent irresistible. Oh. Or just a pull out body hair.

[Mandy]

Oh shit.

[Weezy]

That is something completely not kink of the week.

[Mindy B]

That is giving kink of the week. What is going on? It's trichonomiasis, bitch. We've been saying it wrong.

[Mandy]

That's okay.

[Mindy B]

See what I mean y'?

[Mandy]

All? That's okay.

[Weezy]

They knew. T R I C H. You got it. See, that's why we got Danielle here now.

[Mandy]

You got it. You got it. We listen and we don't judge. I want y' all to take a moment to educate. I smooth aside.

[Mindy B]

Ask for the trick test though, y'.

[Mandy]

All.

[Weezy]

Yes, and let me tell you the HIV test too, because they ain't gonna touch you with that.

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[Weezy]

Let's. Let's dig into it a little bit. Would you rather.

[Mandy]

Okay, let's go.

[Weezy]

Would you rather tell the public you're on ozempic or the tell the public you're on Prep?

[Mandy]

Prep.

[Mindy B]

I'm not gonna lie. It's easier to tell people a weight loss drug than prep.

[Mandy]

Damn.

[Mindy B]

Especially at.

[Mandy]

Why?

[Mindy B]

Because, like, first off, I say it all the time. We have men who aren't able to live in their best selves, and black women are a part of that because we don't provide a safe space for them to live.

[Mandy]

Oh, that's inflammatory.

[Mindy B]

I don't give a fuck. They don't. And so are you saying all black women?

[Mandy]

Because you said black women.

[Mindy B]

Like, I mean, I would say majority.

[Weezy]

Definitely not black women. I wouldn't say it.

[Mindy B]

No, not all, but majority.

[Weezy]

Okay, but I know you talk about your friends all the time saying that. Like, and this is a conversation too. When we were getting into it, I'm like, I feel like it's the majority. I feel like the majority aren't having the conversation. I feel like the majority are blaming gay men. And I know you haven't had many of those experiences because of your friends.

[Mindy B]

Oh, no, no, no, no. They are. Oh, no.

[Weezy]

You said my friends are in a lifestyle. My friends.

[Mindy B]

No, they not. Like, a lot of my friends are not. A lot of my friends don't know what my chart is. I'm in the lifestyle. But when I talk about my friends, my circle of non lifestyle groups of people. No, I said most of my friends don't know what my chart is and judge me because.

[Weezy]

No, no, no. I was talking in regards to the conversation of like, we're saying safe Space.

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

And we've even had this conversation like a year ago where you're like, I'm not having this experience for me over the last few years of working with Risky and Gilead in a room full of influencers. So if no one's heard me talk about this, it's a dinner where we invite a bunch of black women influencers to pretty much educate them and the public and their followers on HIV prevention for black women, specifically. Doing this in cities where the rates are high amongst black women.

[Mandy]

At your next one, I want you to ask people about my chart and bring it back.

[Weezy]

And that's a good one. I don't know if we've ever done.

[Mandy]

It right, but I'll pull my chart.

[Mindy B]

But you would rather tell people that you're on prep over saying you're on a weight loss drug.

[Mandy]

Yep, yep.

[Mindy B]

I just think we've normalized weight loss drugs now. And unfortunately, like we just talked about my chart, there's not a normalization.

[Mandy]

I think there's. It's culture dependent.

[Weezy]

But. So this is why I wanted to go to this dinner.

[Mandy]

Go for it.

[Weezy]

The reason I think that it's a lot easier for the weight loss drug is 90% of the time at these dinners, the conversation surrounding HIV prevention is geared towards women that are sexually promiscuous and or living in a city. Oh, y' all should have seen the Atlanta dinner.

[Mandy]

Oh, shit. It was like. I can imagine.

[Weezy]

It was like, well, these niggas out here lying. Every single one. There is someone blaming the men they're sleeping with. Well, duh, bitch. He ain't gotta be fucking another man. If you fucking a man or you fucking a woman, and you end up getting it. Like, are we just under the accusation that black women are only sleeping with men that have sex with men, which isn't true. HIV prevention starts with you. And also keeping it clear to anybody listening, we're encouraging you to get tested. This is so you know your status.

[Mandy]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

It's not a death sentence. We have so much language around it today. Let's just figure out. And know that way you're not getting sick. That way it's not turning into something else. Like, knowing your status is the most powerful thing. And we've all heard someone be like, I don't wanna get tested yet. I don't even wanna know. I don't wanna ruin my week.

[Mandy]

But there's the thing, though. We have to provide the framework for people to get to a place that they can.

[Weezy]

Right.

[Mandy]

You just described challenges that you've had in the healthcare system around getting tested and access to prep. Imagine as an advocate who is out and about and in the streets and empowered.

[Mindy B]

I'm in the streets. Bitch, go home.

[Mandy]

You said you was in the streets. You literally just said you was a Hindu. Okay, and the sheets in the streets.

[Mindy B]

In these streets. But the girl, I got four boyfriends.

[Weezy]

Girl, you on a boat. You was telling us shit last night.

[Mindy B]

We demure. Y' all go over to preach. Are we demure? First off, I had other bitches suck the dick. I stop sucking the dick.

[Mandy]

Oh, wow.

[Mindy B]

Anyway, go to Patreon and hear the story.

[Mandy]

But yeah, is right. We shouldn't assume that people are empowered enough or educated enough about these systems of care that can put them in a place to be tested. So as we talk about testing, we have to talk about all the other systematic structures that are in place that prevent people from getting tested.

[Weezy]

I think they just don't.

[Mandy]

Stigma is the thing.

[Mindy B]

It sounds crazy, but from a psychological standpoint, I will say huge. I now go get tested. Like when I first was getting tested with my little ho ass, I used to be nervous. I used to think about, okay, which bitch, which nigga gave me something? One of these gonna be, oh, I don't care.

[Weezy]

I'm nervous every time.

[Mindy B]

No. Oh, I was gonna say, I'm not nervous anymore.

[Weezy]

I could have sex with nobody new, and I'm still. There's something about knowing you gotta that white coat.

[Mandy]

You know, you have to atone, bitch.

[Weezy]

Once I put that little peacup through that window, I be like, how many times? How many? How long gonna be? Don't let me do it on a Friday. And these bitches don't get back to me till Tuesday.

[Mindy B]

Let's beat it up. You should have seen me yesterday. I actually had fun doing my little swap. Y' all know when you used to have to get swabbed in your nose, bitch, I took that little Q tip in my pussy and I said, oh, let me. I was just twirling in.

[Mandy]

See, I talked about that. I was like.

[Mindy B]

Okay, so we gonna talk about that. Apparently she telling me, bitch, you could still be dirty.

[Mandy]

So I think I said the word dirty.

[Mindy B]

No. Well, sorry, we not using the word dirty.

[Mandy]

We are not.

[Mindy B]

But, bitch, you could still have something because they didn't do all the swaps.

[Mandy]

What I said was, there should be three swaps.

[Mindy B]

Mind you, I have never been swabbed three times. So we had the conversation last night.

[Mandy]

Interesting.

[Mindy B]

Tell me the correct way, because apparently I got the wrong way. But what is the correct way or what we. What should we advocate for when we go and get tested? Because you let me know something new, right?

[Mandy]

If you're doing the things and putting things in places, there should be a swab for all of the place you put something.

[Mindy B]

Now, I haven't put nothing but a butt plug in my ass, so I'm good for my ass, right? I ain't had anal sex.

[Mandy]

This now. We haven't had a test run, so I can't confirm or deny.

[Mindy B]

God damn.

[Weezy]

She said.

[Mindy B]

I've never tested my asshole.

[Weezy]

So I sure haven't either.

[Mindy B]

I just found out I'm going there.

[Mandy]

Tell them, put a swab in your body.

[Mindy B]

The swab should go. You said in your throat, in all of your holes, essentially.

[Mandy]

Correct. Everywhere something could go.

[Weezy]

I've never had a throat swab. Only blood and urine and the culture swabs.

[Mandy]

You put penis in your throat?

[Weezy]

No, I'm literally saying. I've actually never been offered the throat swab.

[Mandy]

Yeah, that's part of the issue that we're saying. When you talk about differential care, care should be universal. Sexual health care should be standard across the board. Wherever something goes, a swab should.

[Weezy]

That's great to know.

[Mindy B]

Well, and even.

[Weezy]

Have you ever had someone offer.

[Mindy B]

Well, I. I know that that's been the conversation recently.

[Mandy]

Is that stigma?

[Mindy B]

Well, chlamydia has been being found in a lot of people's throats now, and, baby, you going to the doctor thinking you got strep. Strep ain't coming, Covid. Ain't coming. It might, and I don't think you're right. I think there's a lot of healthcare providers that don't even think to.

[Mandy]

It's their own patriarchy. It's their own perceptions about what women do. It shouldn't be about your presumption, but if you suck at a penis that went in a butt.

[Mindy B]

Okay, hello. Let's watch the throat. Let's wax tonight. That's my favorite porn.

[Mandy]

Okay, I'm not trying. We don't. We listen and we don't judge. All I'm saying is follow up the.

[Weezy]

Asshole, I'll be judging, period.

[Mindy B]

What other STDs can be found in the mouth? Like I said, I only know of chlamydia. But what are.

[Mandy]

Just swab, friend. Just swab. Just ask questions.

[Mindy B]

What else could live in your throat that maybe you would test positive for?

[Mandy]

I think so if you're not testing or if you're not swabbing your oral cavities right, then There is a possibility of STIs to live in those places.

[Mindy B]

Right.

[Mandy]

I think that's the message.

[Weezy]

Okay, so let's advocate brushing isn't enough. Brushing your teeth after is not enough. Brushing your teeth.

[Mandy]

What people say you used to just do a little throw mouth. I mean, a little mouthwash, and then run it.

[Mindy B]

By the way, I did look it up because y' all know I love my husband. Shout out to Chet. Uh, oh, so in your throat, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis, the main ones that you get tested for. Those are the main things.

[Mandy]

Except trich.

[Mindy B]

Trich can. No. Trich actually rarely infects the throat. And microplasma, also very rare, too.

[Weezy]

And this is also why sex workers put condoms on penises during oral sex, too. A lot of times I was reading that like it was up to comfort. But when documenting at a brothel, was it Moonlight, Maybe? I'm getting that from Cat House back in the day. But anyway, what's Cat House, girl?

[Mandy]

What's Cat House?

[Weezy]

One of the best television shows of all time. Tell me, tell me, Tell Me so covers a brothel. Is it recent in Nevada? No, it's not.

[Mandy]

Oh, shit. Okay.

[Weezy]

And the owner died. He would have definitely been a Trumpito. But anyways, when covering this brothel, I only went two years ago.

[Raheem Devon]

Cat 1.

[Weezy]

It was Cat House.

[Mandy]

Cat House. Okay, I'm on it. Okay, go.

[Weezy]

So I covered this brothel on sex sells, and they basically talked about how no matter what condoms are used. Back in the day, they used to say, okay, oral sex may be without. Someone can pay a certain price, but always condoms during sex. But they're like, no, because we're talking about open sores here. Stuff that we can't see on the penis. They do what's called DC's dick checks. So basically, before taking a client, they're, like, looking at the penis to ensure there's nothing on it. But that's still not enough of these.

[Mindy B]

We all got to do dick checks, bro.

[Weezy]

Yeah, we do need to do the DCs. Oh, my God. And I did. But with the visual infection, y', all, it was crazy. Okay?

[Mindy B]

She was showing. If you about to put it in your mouth, your eyes is right there.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Mindy B]

You should be looking at, by the way. You know why we really need to look?

[Mandy]

Tell me.

[Weezy]

Because HPV is really genital warts, but for some reason, it just sounds a little better. Hsv, right? No, no, no. Genital warts is different. HSV talking about the mouth. So HPV turning into genital warts. Now, because men can't get tested for hpv, right? So women can. And the problem with that is that they really don't know their status, but they've been fucking all these women wrong, as we know.

[Mandy]

But there's the assumption, if you clean, then I'm clean.

[Weezy]

And guess what?

[Mandy]

But that's the responsibility on the woman.

[Weezy]

That'S no ingrown bitch.

[Mandy]

Oh.

[Weezy]

Oh. So back to the Ozempic thing.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Mindy B]

Yeah.

[Weezy]

This conversation, right? It's always getting chaotic. It's always turning into this thing. I'm telling you right now. If we hosted a dinner on keeping fit and weight loss, bet you no one would bat an eye and scream about Ozempic. It is something that we have all felt like is understandable at some point. Everyone struggled with their weight, their mamas, somebody. We have the weight conversation throughout our life as women, hormones, whatever. When it comes to sexual health, that's the one that we're quiet about. And I really do believe telling someone you're on Ozempic versus telling them you're on prep would make them, quote, unquote, judge you less. You getting judged either way.

[Mandy]

Yeah, you did it. I did the weight loss one, though. Like a lot of my homegirls, and I'm, you know, I'm gonna speak generally, a lot of my homegirls would rather or would rather not take Ozempic. I had a homegirl who did the sleeve. She was 100% anti ozempic. Same for me. I've struggled with weight loss, and recently I was. I've been on my. On my shit. But it was weight loss associated with the dissertation. I'm not even going to hold you.

[Mindy B]

You said school was stressing me out. Oh, my God.

[Mandy]

Took me to within inch of my life. But folks are just not pro. Let's do this Ozempic thing. Because when you look at all of the potential negative health outcomes that have not been studied in women, we know more about prep from the science than we do Olympic. And you see a lot of folks when this shit started really popping off with Ozempics who were lying like, oh, this is me. This is the gym. And then 30 minutes later, they're on the podcast or on a news segment talking about, well, it actually was the Ozempic and the jam.

[Mindy B]

Oh, yeah, we saw Oprah go from Weight Watchers, so.

[Weezy]

So let's get into an Essence article. Cause it's cuffing season right now. It's getting a little chilly.

[Mandy]

It is.

[Weezy]

And it's time to cuddle. Mandy got four Niggas to cuddle with.

[Mindy B]

But.

[Weezy]

What are you bitching?

[Mindy B]

No, I don't. It's all long distance. You know everybody. I ain't got not nan nigga in Atlanta. We are. Why not?

[Mandy]

I thought you said you was looking for bisexual bae.

[Mindy B]

You know I am. What happened? You have a Mexico babe, but I ain't found one in Atlanta I like yet.

[Weezy]

I'm very picky. I would love someone local.

[Mindy B]

I would love someone local, but right now, everybody is scattered, and we travel to each other.

[Mandy]

Okay. All right.

[Mindy B]

But, yeah, no, I ain't. I'm going to be cuddling with Bodie. I'm going to be cuddling with my cat this fall, so. Drinking my pumpkin spice.

[Weezy]

Here are the top 10 cities for black singles to find love. So we going to go. We going to give you these cities, and then we go tell you what. HIV rates are actually the highest, which is kind of crazy.

[Mandy]

Okay.

[Mindy B]

Because they're almost. You're starting with the top 10 cities that's best for single black women to find love.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mindy B]

Okay.

[Weezy]

Black singles. Doesn't seem like black singles. So number 10, bottom of the list. Dallas, Texas, I believe that. Nine, Philly, eight. Detroit.

[Mindy B]

Detroit. Got some. They be generous in Detroit.

[Mandy]

Damn.

[Mindy B]

Oh, my God.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy]

Generous in which regard they be.

[Mindy B]

They be no generous with the money. Okay, okay. They about to pull out the furs, y'. All. Detroit got them one.

[Weezy]

And you know what else, too?

[Mandy]

Noted.

[Mindy B]

First place.

[Weezy]

The house, too. They got it.

[Mandy]

Okay, okay.

[Mindy B]

Follow up to Detroit, Detroit, Detroit got them ones.

[Weezy]

All right, so Atlanta, number seven. I think you know why they say that? I think there's just so many black people in Atlanta. But I ain't gonna hold you.

[Mandy]

I'm interested.

[Weezy]

My homegirls that found love in Atlanta, they found them in other cities. My homegirl Rashida's driving to get her man in Birmingham.

[Raheem Devon]

Dang.

[Mandy]

Brought him out the backwoods.

[Mindy B]

Oh. Not only that. The thing about that is, if you find love in Atlanta, you sharing him with somebody else.

[Weezy]

There's too many beautiful women. They don't know how to be. It's hard. You walk down the street, you go to a cafe. Like, you know, I love shits and gigs, but they were wrong.

[Mindy B]

In Atlanta is shits and gigs, girl.

[Weezy]

No, they said that the girls weren't in Atlanta. But I'm gonna tell you this.

[Mandy]

You talk about people who don't even live here commenting on it. I get in my face.

[Weezy]

Because there is a club culture of Atlanta. There is a subculture of Atlanta, of the loving, hip, Hop attitude with men and women. But you walk down the street in Atlanta, you're not gonna not see a bad bitch. Number six, Baltimore. I actually really believe this one. Baltimore, bitch.

[Mindy B]

Baltimore to Chrisean Rock. Why? Everything I'd have seen out of Baltimore is tricky.

[Weezy]

But let me tell you this. DC is number five, because I like dc. They end up going to Baltimore to buy their house, okay? And they ready to wife you up.

[Mindy B]

Now, them hoes go to Virginia. They go to Maryland. When you get up to Baltimore. Maryland, Maryland.

[Mandy]

Maryland.

[Mindy B]

Maryland.

[Weezy]

Maryland. So number four is Charlotte. What?

[Mindy B]

Number three, Charlotte got some ones. I follow some niggas on Instagram from Charlotte, but they friends. And I'm like, which one? They in a little run club.

[Weezy]

Maybe it's too.

[Mindy B]

They cute in Charlotte.

[Weezy]

Number three is New York, which I do. I believe it. I'm not gonna hold you. Choplet dating in New York now, it might get tough because there's a lot of volume like in Atlanta, but there's a lot of motherfuckers in New York.

[Mandy]

Wow.

[Weezy]

Bitch, go outside. You've had the summer. If you wasn't at a block party, what the fuck was you doing?

[Mandy]

Probably sleep.

[Weezy]

Get your ass out the house. Wake up. Number two, Chicago. And number one, Chicago.

[Mindy B]

Got them ones, too.

[Weezy]

Houston, Texas. Now, what's crazy about Houston, Texas, is I remember going to Risky over there. And they said that was some of the highest rates for black women with hiv. And, like, Florida didn't make the list.

[Mandy]

At all for black singles.

[Weezy]

For love? No, bitch, for black singles.

[Mandy]

We all conducted this survey.

[Mindy B]

Where would you think black singles in Florida?

[Mandy]

I don't know. Maybe Miami.

[Mindy B]

No, they all speak Spanish.

[Weezy]

Seven of these cities have the highest rates of HIV in the country, by the way. That's because the dick is good and you forget to put the condom on. So let me tell you, the cities.

[Mandy]

That don't, they're also Republican. They also have no comprehensive sex, like, let's say all of the things.

[Weezy]

So Charlotte, Detroit and Dallas are the only ones with the low rates in from that list, which is crazy when you think about it, because it's like Texas to me, especially with, like, the reversal of Roe v. Wade. People just not wanting even to walk into a Planned Parenthood, all of that shit. I know a lot of them aren't really getting tested. The rates have gone down in Texas as well, so. But Dallas maybe because more white people.

[Mindy B]

Oh, I love Dallas.

[Mandy]

You just.

[Weezy]

Really? Why?

[Mindy B]

I really have. I just love Dallas.

[Weezy]

We have a lot of fans. I want to shout out, I Love.

[Mindy B]

I love just this shout out to Dallas. I go every Thanksgiving, even though I might not go this year for Thanksgiving because she got a baby and might be at his house anyway. But just love Dallas out of these.

[Weezy]

Oh, sorry.

[Mindy B]

Oh, wait. Shout out to Wolf. You from Dallas, right? We talk. We've talked about.

[Weezy]

Oh, wow.

[Mindy B]

And he got a cowboy shirt on.

[Weezy]

Now, where out of these cities have y' all had some luck in dating all of them?

[Mindy B]

I had a nigga in every last one of them cities.

[Weezy]

I think I've had everything.

[Mindy B]

Detroit, Chicago or Philly. Detroit, Detroit. Men. Is that Philly?

[Weezy]

I'll tell you this, though.

[Mindy B]

Oh, wait, I'm not gonna. I've never had a Philly guy.

[Weezy]

You get you a little roots picnic type of that. Read over there in Philly. Shout out to Uncle Bobby's.

[Mindy B]

They be reading in Philly.

[Mandy]

Wow.

[Weezy]

They have a Now they don't like rapper vibe too.

[Mindy B]

Yeah, that's why I don't like it. I told y' all, I ain't doing the Muslims no more.

[Weezy]

Why not? Oh, my God. What?

[Mindy B]

What happened? They just give up.

[Weezy]

We have different types of Muslim men in New York. Okay?

[Mindy B]

Yeah, they're like the Malcolm X ones. Okay, so they're like the ones.

[Weezy]

Malcolm was fine though, period.

[Mindy B]

Malcolm was very fine. But they're like the ones that converted through prison.

[Weezy]

You said you would put a heat drop on for Kevin Gates.

[Mindy B]

Let us not forget, by the way, that was entertainment. But my problem is, and I think.

[Mandy]

This is why Kevin Gaye's got somebody else now though. So I don't know if he's.

[Weezy]

Hold on, let me see who I was.

[Mindy B]

Can have. That's the thing. Muslims can have multiple wives.

[Weezy]

I don't know, bitch, if I started wearing a burp, I'd have my ass out. Something gotta be balanced.

[Mandy]

Your face is out, your hands will be out.

[Weezy]

You gotta learn how to deal makeup.

[Mandy]

Once you get Muslim baby makeup, down face beats, I can't do it.

[Weezy]

We had a tour once. Excuse me? We had a show on tour once where a Muslim girl walked in the door. And I didn't know. Cause you know, you book a makeup artist, I don't really know what they look like. This bitch came to my hotel room. I said, I know this shit gonna be good, girl. Go ahead, get the lashes out. Cause I know you got em. Shit.

[Mandy]

You said that it was gonna be good.

[Weezy]

By the way, I would love one of you little Easty baddies to come in here and we could do Anonymous.

[Mindy B]

Tell us how you be hoes cause.

[Weezy]

My man was telling me when he was ramping in the streets, he was like, I fucked all them holes in the heat, y'.

[Mindy B]

All. Damn.

[Weezy]

He said they was ready. What did he give em, right? Honestly, I think it's like he's like, yeah, they are religious but like they be wanting to fuck. He's like, I'm never there first. He's like, they just be ready to go. He said they all be everyday people. I'm pointing at the bitches. Sorry.

[Mandy]

Pointing at Wolf. I was like, is it Wolf too?

[Mindy B]

I was like, not only is he.

[Mandy]

From Dallas and a cowboy, he has people with hijab.

[Mindy B]

Oh God. I can't keep up with.

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[Mandy]

Limu Gaypaw and Doug.

[Mindy B]

Here we have the Limu Imu in.

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[Mindy B]

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[Weezy]

Fascinating.

[Mindy B]

It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug.

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[Weezy]

Liberty.

[Raheem Devon]

Liberty Savings Ferry.

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[Mandy]

Excludes Massachusetts.

[Weezy]

Okay, now we're gonna get into poetry. Okay, this is where you're gonna guess a song lyric. Mandy, don't guess it. You're gonna know from the first word I say. Okay, Danielle, this is for you. This is almost too damn easy.

[Mandy]

Okay?

[Weezy]

I'm trying to pull, like, a verse from it that you may not get. Slow head, show me so much love. The best head comes from a thug. The dick good, thick, big and long. Slow thumping till the crack of dawn.

[Mandy]

Oh, damn it.

[Mindy B]

On the X.

[Weezy]

Making faces and stuff.

[Mandy]

Girl, what?

[Weezy]

Through the night Making so much love. Dead sleep when the sun comes up. You still ain't getting it.

[Mandy]

Uh, well, I bet you I got it in my mind. Go, go, go, go.

[Weezy]

So lick it now look it good.

[Mandy]

Lick it.

[Mindy B]

Because he just like.

[Weezy]

Keep going.

[Mandy]

Now, I don't know the name of the song, but I know what you're talking about.

[Weezy]

Yes, you do.

[Mandy]

I don't.

[Weezy]

Right now. Lick it good. Huh?

[Mandy]

Made in my mind. Huh?

[Weezy]

Lick this just like you should.

[Mandy]

It was just on the commercial now.

[Mindy B]

Now we get my back Was just on a commercial?

[Weezy]

Yes. What commercial?

[Mandy]

It was on some commercial. I walked before I walked.

[Mindy B]

You know what's crazy? You know she said that song Keep Her Paid.

[Mandy]

Yes.

[Mindy B]

The way they sample and put that.

[Mandy]

Song every month, and it was about a gym or something.

[Mindy B]

Like, wait, what?

[Mandy]

Yeah, they. You know how they put the commercials and they'll take the song and then they remix it? Yeah. She was like, all the women out there, get ready to go to the gym.

[Mindy B]

I was like, what the fuck?

[Mandy]

And then you hear the beat in the background. I just walked out, like, wait, you live in this?

[Mindy B]

You live in la. This was for something in la.

[Mandy]

Around the corner in New York than your town.

[Weezy]

This is your town.

[Mandy]

This is New York.

[Mindy B]

My neck My back for a gym is fun. Tea.

[Weezy]

I mean, I do.

[Mandy]

Honey, get your bread. Get your bread.

[Mindy B]

I know that's right.

[Weezy]

Let's talk about it. Let's do some myth busting. Tell us a little bit about some of the people you've interacted with and maybe some of the craziest misconceptions you heard when they've come to you for HIV prevention and health. Or maybe just being confused around their status. Like, I just kind of want to get into what you do and the people you've encountered with your work.

[Mandy]

I've done a little bit of everything. So I started out wanting to understand more about how HIV affected black women specifically. I was in a class once in. This instructor was talking about how black women are disproportionately affected by hiv. And I'm like, why is this something that we do that makes us more prone to. Is it biological, is it genetic? What is it? And so, girl, I started to unpack all of the things both social, structural, policy related. So I started to volunteer on a mobile testing unit. Unit. And so mobile testing units, before they were not a thing where you would go to like homeless encampments, college campuses, anywhere you could drive. We will pull up, pop the tent, be outside. And then people would just come up to us and ask us for HIV tests.

[Mindy B]

I don't see them as often anymore.

[Mandy]

No, I think so. So some.

[Mindy B]

Maybe funding.

[Mandy]

It could be funding. I think part of his funding. Part of it is that people who are in positions of power believe that it's more practical for someone to walk into a clinic, then walk to a corner where I can hop on them.

[Weezy]

In my early 20s, I was getting tested, I'd say annually, like. Like that. 19 to 24 age.

[Mandy]

Yep.

[Weezy]

I was getting tested whenever I went to a doctor. Right. But HIV specific testing was always a bust.

[Mindy B]

Always.

[Weezy]

Actually, always a bus. Like, it was almost like, oh, one will pop up if that's when I'll know. Like, that was really just me, you.

[Mandy]

Know what I mean? In community, you can go on a van with people who are trained in sexual health who can administer you a test, give you results in 20 or 40 or one minute. And you're about to.

[Weezy]

Yeah, I'm gonna need that one minute.

[Mandy]

You don't have to go in and check in with somebody at the front desk who got an attitude cause they at work. Or wait 37 million minutes to see a provider. Boom, shake, swab your mouth, poke your finger, and you are out.

[Mindy B]

The poking of the finger. I remember even getting it done as early as high school because I used to be able to get out of class for the blood drives. But in order to be a part of the blood drive, they would. It would be the same thing.

[Mandy]

School based health centers, you can go right to the back. Boop, boop. And they can't tell you. You can't walk off campus. Go to a school based health center. It's part of.

[Weezy]

They can't tell you.

[Raheem Devon]

Mm, mm.

[Weezy]

So one of my craziest tests I ever had was during a music festival. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. And shout out to Vinny. I always remember his reaction. I was 21. Maybe got on this bus. I don't know what they was giving out. They must have been giving out something. Cause why else was I wearing a tutu and getting an HIV test?

[Mandy]

Damn.

[Mindy B]

I was probably.

[Weezy]

Fuck, they might have tested me for drugs and hiv.

[Mandy]

Well, where were you going with the tutu though?

[Weezy]

I was at a raid at the music festival. So when he saw me getting on the bus and I came off, I was like, I have to wait 20 minutes. He goes, but what if you have it? Why would you do this to us? We're trying to have a good time. And I was like, shit.

[Mindy B]

Oh, my God, no.

[Weezy]

But he was right.

[Mandy]

Not okay, bitch, go get your sexual health together.

[Weezy]

Oh, think about it. You had a concert. And he's like, bitch, now what if you got it? We finna leave.

[Mandy]

We paid $400. Oh, my God.

[Weezy]

And I was like, this is gonna ruin the money.

[Mandy]

You shouting him out.

[Weezy]

Vinny's our tour manager too, okay? I'm telling you.

[Mindy B]

Thanks, Vinny.

[Weezy]

I stood there, we were waiting, and the guy was like, sorry, it's taking too long. Now he's looking at me and he was like, bitch, you really did this to us, y'. All. We are sitting there with four other friends. When the guy came off the bus, they shared our results with us on site. It was like, yeah, isn't that great?

[Mandy]

Where you can get your results? And then if you would have tested positive, you would have been connected.

[Weezy]

They would put me back on that bus.

[Mandy]

You would have been connected to care.

[Weezy]

Now tell me one of the craziest stories you've heard or one of even something that is a little bit darker. Said, whether it be a married woman, something like that, like that. You found out had HIV and had to tell.

[Mandy]

I was downtown skid row in la.

[Weezy]

And I already know this. About to go.

[Mandy]

Oh, yeah. So you see some of the most disparaging human conditions that you've ever seen. And we were downtown skid row, and there was this guy I'll never forget was the first positive or preliminary positive result I've ever had to give. And you're in skid row. It's a bunch of tents. People are parked at a park. They're just kind of vibing. So I found this guy. He came on, we were doing like, $20 subway cards. He got his test, and you have to find the person and administer the test result. But you bring them back on the van, and then you connect them to CARE as best you can. But before you go back and get that person, you have to have your things in a row. So if they test prelim positive, you want to be in a position where you're not fumbling, looking for resources. You have your care plan lined up so that person is immediately warmed off. Warm handed off to an HIV care specialist so that they can take further test results and then get in care. So I found this man, and he was, like, just standing on the street and a bunch of guys, and it's already awkward. They know you work on the hiv, right? So you're going back down and interrupting this group of guys vibing, and you're like, can I talk to you for a minute? And so everybody looking at him, and so it's awkward. So you're all. You're automatically putting him in a position to make people in his circle wonder. That could be dangerous for someone who lives on the street.

[Mindy B]

Oh.

[Mandy]

You know what I'm saying?

[Weezy]

I would have never thought of that.

[Mandy]

Oh, absolutely. So you're at. You're interrupting this social dynamic, asking him to come back to the test. Why? People are going to ask why. So I felt that I had put him in harm's way by giving his result the way I gave it. He didn't wait at the mobile unit, so I have to go find him. He had already tested prelim positive. So my responsibility is to connect him to care immediately so that he can get on HIV meds, get his viruses suppressed, and then get access to any other social services that he may have needed.

[Weezy]

So how do the meds work? Because I want to talk about specifically prep, and the meds, because they work.

[Mandy]

The same way, interrupt the. So for people who are living with hiv, it interrupts the ability of the HIV virus to replicate.

[Weezy]

You take it daily, right?

[Mandy]

It could be daily. Or if you're taking a shot, it could be less frequent than daily. It can be monthly, quarterly, six months. The science is moving at rapid pace.

[Weezy]

Because we just know Magic Johnson and everybody always used to say, he must be rich. He must have the thing to make you get rid of it. Have to live this on.

[Mandy]

Magic was just in D.C. the other day at the largest HIV conference domestically. He was on the stage saying that he takes it to HIV meds like everybody else who was diagnosed with hiv.

[Weezy]

And what exactly is we keep saying? Prep. Prep.

[Mandy]

Prep.

[Weezy]

What is it? Is it a shot? Is it pills?

[Mandy]

It's both. It's both. And depending on your sex assignment at birth, you have access to different options of prep.

[Weezy]

Now, the girlfriend's episode about being undetectable.

[Mandy]

Yes.

[Weezy]

Tell us a little bit about that. Can you, like, bring back that episode, the HIV conversation and it. Can we relive that moment with you? Tell us about it.

[Mandy]

So you talking about where she was using a knife and then she bled, and everybody was like. And it's like I was sitting there like, girl, get a grip. And so I have nieces who are like, my babies. I have to know me is to know how I am about my family. So we were watching this episode, so I oriented them to, like, 90 sitcoms. And so we would like Netflix and just kind of vibe out. So there was this one episode, and.

[Mindy B]

They all know they pulled that episode, right?

[Mandy]

I don't give a damn. You can find it anywhere.

[Weezy]

Did they really?

[Mindy B]

A lot of it's so I know a lot of.

[Weezy]

Because, you know, girlfriend's on Netflix.

[Mindy B]

Well, a lot of episodes from the 90s that had, like, problematic things because we now are in a very, you know, sensitive. They can find it. But a lot of. A lot of episodes around certain topics and just how it was handled. I want to say, I thought it was.

[Weezy]

Well, we gonna find that clip so.

[Mindy B]

Y' all can see it today.

[Mandy]

Find it.

[Weezy]

So with that whole. With the whole slicing thing, etc, how is. How does transmission work outside of sex?

[Mandy]

So HIV transmission we talked about yesterday, right. Is spread five different ways. Two from him, two from her. When you share. And so if there is a biological fluid that is being exchanged, then there's a possibility of HIV transmission. It can be a greater possibility or lesser possibility.

[Mindy B]

So what are the two from him, two from her?

[Mandy]

Semen, precum.

[Weezy]

Semen, precum.

[Mindy B]

That's him.

[Mandy]

That's him. Blood is one you share.

[Mindy B]

Ok. Everybody's got blood, right?

[Mandy]

And then her vaginal secretions. Breast milk.

[Weezy]

Oh, got it. Got it. Everyone.

[Mandy]

Two from him, two from her, one you share.

[Mindy B]

And so not from spit at all.

[Mandy]

We had this conversation.

[Mindy B]

I know, but I'm bringing it on here because I thought that spit at one point was.

[Weezy]

So can I swallow semen? And that person has hiv. I'm now at risk.

[Raheem Devon]

Are you.

[Mandy]

Are they undetectable? Risk for what? Okay, so you have to qualify. Not risk, but possibility. Risk is a very stigmatizing word. Okay, so what's the possibility of what?

[Weezy]

Getting hiv.

[Mandy]

Getting HIV from swallowing?

[Mindy B]

Yes.

[Mandy]

From swallowing semen.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy]

But you just looked up and it's. You looked up. You googled or you used your friend chat. And what did Chad say about HIV or other STIs in the throat?

[Mindy B]

It does say you could get HIV there.

[Mandy]

It's a possibility. Okay, so you need to consult a medical provider.

[Weezy]

Okay. Now, what is the number one way men and women, heterosexual couples are contracting.

[Mandy]

Hiv do sexual contact? Penetrative sex. Unprotected. And partners could potentially be unaware of one one's status. And one person could be virally. Could not be virally suppressed.

[Weezy]

Is that through cuts? It's not through a cut. You're saying it's secretion? I feel like we always thought it was a viral blood disease growing up. So it's like. Oh, and that's why anal sex made so much sense. Oh, of course. Because anal tearing. So men and women having vaginal penetrative sex.

[Mandy]

It's not. But you. You missed one point, though.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mandy]

Let's take us back to this. U equals you are undetectable equals untransmittable. So if my virus is suppressed, I have virtually no possibility of transmitting HIV to someone else. Now, if it's not, then there is the possibility. Right? So if absent this unsuppressed viral load, anal tearing means what? You address a different issue. It could be related to size. It could be related to technique. It could be related to activity. So it isn't anal sex that increases possibility for HIV possibility. It's the undiagnosed and untreated virally not suppressed HIV that could create the issue. It's not the sex act itself at all.

[Weezy]

Damn.

[Mandy]

It could be through vaginal sex. It can be through anal sex, whatever type of sex you want to have. We want to encourage people to do all of the things, do all of them, including getting tested, taking, prep if you want to take it, but taking your meds as prescribed if you are someone who is diagnosed to reduce that risk of transmission of HIV to your sexual partners. It's about being aware, not someone. We don't want to lay the blame at the feet of someone living with hiv. Regardless, you and I had this Conversation a couple, like about a week ago. It's about empowerment, knowing your status and then taking the necessary steps to protect yourself thereafter to the best of your ability.

[Weezy]

Is there anything you'd want to leave our listeners with who may not be. I don't know, just in the know on where to get prep. Don't feel like they've got community enough to discuss this with there they.

[Mandy]

And that's sad that that blows me sometimes because I know we talk from a place of privilege. Knowledge is power. We know about prep. We know about all the things. We feel empowered to advocate for our sexual health. But some women are not. Some women are not. I've heard stories from women who are in abusive relationships, who have partners who do horrible things to them sexually that they don't always have control over. But you want to encourage people to find a community and answer your DMs?

[Weezy]

Okay, will do. And also, is there any website just for where someone in the country can, like, figure out how to get it done, where to get it done? Just get more info.

[Mandy]

Ah. So let me try to think. There are tons of different resources. Planned Parenthood, as you mentioned. I know you love a good Planned Parenthood, so Planned Parenthood has resources.

[Weezy]

Me, it's just the easiest. I will say that Planned Parenthood is.

[Mindy B]

The most easiest in your local state health department.

[Mandy]

It depends on where you live.

[Mindy B]

Depends on where you live.

[Mandy]

Depends on where you live. But also some pharmaceutical companies have amazing websites related to the drugs that they manufacture.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Mandy]

But I would start with a good Instagram of Planned Parenthood. They have diagrams, they have memes, they have videos, testimonials.

[Weezy]

They are not just the abortion place, y'.

[Mandy]

All.

[Weezy]

Okay? They're the birth control place. They're the HIV prevention place. Just go over there.

[Mandy]

Gender affirming care place.

[Weezy]

Ooh, great place.

[Mandy]

How about that?

[Weezy]

There might be a little bit of crazies outside with the signs. I give them a nice little girl.

[Mandy]

Walk right past them and do your business.

[Weezy]

Jesus loves you, bitch. Sorry he sent you out here today with the whole spiel.

[Mindy B]

Well, thank you so much for joining us on the podcast today and having this conversation.

[Mandy]

Thanks for having me.

[Mindy B]

And hopefully we encouraged and urged you and gave you the Zhu Zh to go and get tested because it's not as scary as y' all goddamn think.

[Weezy]

What are you waiting. It is.

[Mindy B]

We're all human.

[Mandy]

Sometimes we're afraid of the things.

[Weezy]

I don't care. I'm telling Everybody. Get tested. 48 hours. I can't have a good time it's.

[Mandy]

Definitely not 48 hours anymore, though.

[Mindy B]

Oh, it ain't. And HIV is immediate.

[Mandy]

That's correct.

[Mindy B]

HIV.

[Mandy]

Not for eight hours.

[Mindy B]

I was still waiting for the provider and my HIV result was in my. In my. We had a great time speaking to Dr. Danielle. We are even more excited to introduce our next conversation with R and B legend Raheem Devon. He is known for his soulful, love centered R and B. But what a lot of people do not realize is how deeply involved he is in his advocacy, especially around HIV prevention. Raheem has been doing the work of educating black men about the importance of getting tested, knowing their status, and having real, honest conversations about sexual health. He's also been using his platform to spread awareness around prep the HIV prevention medication and to normalize brothers taking control of their health without shame or stigma. We are really excited to. To continue this conversation and without further ado, please enjoy our conversation with Raheem Devon.

[Weezy]

Hey, everybody, here we are with Raheem Devon. We are out of the studio in person, and we just had to join because y' all know I love niggas with dread. So that's really what. Sorry, I mean singer, songwriters. But here is what I pulled up on Google. Raheem Devon is an American R and B singer, songwriter, a Taurus known for smooth vocals and romantic themes. Do you want to know what ChatGPT's got for you?

[Mindy B]

Raheem?

[Weezy]

Influenced by his father's music and his mother's vinyl collection from the dmv and also a radio personality, Philanthropic. We love all of that. I almost couldn't say that word. I got braces. But everybody welcome Raheem. Yay.

[Raheem Devon]

Hey, what's going on?

[Mindy B]

Can I also say shout out to anyone that had a vinyl collection? Because I thought that was going to be, like, my little cheap hobby I did. Had no clue them motherfuckers were like 60 to $80 a piece. That is an expensive hobby.

[Weezy]

Maybe it wasn't back then. Was it that expensive back then?

[Mindy B]

No, back then I thought they were 10 cents. I thought I was about to get vinyls for 10 cents, honestly.

[Weezy]

Are you a vinyl?

[Raheem Devon]

No. You know, you know, anything cost more.

[Weezy]

Now, but vinyl niggas got an esthetic. Like when you go in somebody's house and they got vinyls, I'd be like, wow, he is so, like, deep.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, check out my vinyl, baby.

[Mindy B]

Inflation has hit the vinyls. Well, Raheem, really excited to have you. We're going to be talking about a lot of things today, but what we're really excited to have the conversation with you about is you being an advocate for prep and continuing the conversation, specifically as a heterosexual black man and the conversation around prep. So I guess before we start, can we talk about how you got involved with, with this specific campaign and why it's so important for you to talk about it?

[Raheem Devon]

For sure. Well, I started my foundation, the Love Life foundation, back in 2012. So one of our major initiatives has always been HIV awareness and among other things, domestic violence and textbooks, scholarships for the youth for kids in my area here in the dmv. So I always been doing things as it relates to community. But how I found out about prep was my primary care physician, who I've had for a few years now. At the time, a little after Covid, I was searching for a new doctor, stumbled upon Dr. Hodge, who's out here in my area in the DMV. And one of the first things probably asked me, like, leading into the conversation as we were talking about sexual health, and, you know, he's drawing my blood and doing, you know, the necessity of the first physical, primary care physical, you know, we getting acquainted with each other. He says, are you on prep? And, and I said, and I said no. And, you know, at the time, I mean, I want to say maybe I had heard about that there was a medication but didn't quite know what it was, you know, and with all the different types of stigmas out, you hear all these different thing. So, but it was the first time that, that, you know, I had a primary care doctor, you know, or where they just blatantly just like straight up asked. And, you know, he went on to tell me about statistically what's going on in D.C. and how, you know, HIV was about going to rise. He asked if I was married. He asked a lot of questions and he strongly suggested me trying, you know, I, I quickly asked about the side effects. You know what I mean? I don't consider myself like, outside, outside, but if, you know, if you're outside, you're outside, you know, think about hiv. Is that anybody could be HIV possible, Everybody's HIV possible. Meaning? Meaning if you don't do the proper things, had to have to, you know, get tested regularly, had the, you know, sexual health conversations you need to have with your partner. So I said, I'll try it. I've been, I've been on there ever since, you know, Raheem, one moment, I.

[Mindy B]

I, the question will not leave my head and I have to ask you, and it's going to be completely ignorant. I lean into my ignorance because I have questions that maybe other people are asking.

[Raheem Devon]

Well, lean with it.

[Mindy B]

Oh, so did your primary care physician tell you or ask you or educate you on prep just because you were in a city with high rates like D.C. or did they ask you first? Hey, are you having sex with men? To my knowledge, prep for a long time was only offered to men having sex with other men. So not to, you know, super ask you about your sexuality, but how did your primary care physician straight up ask you without knowing your sexual history?

[Raheem Devon]

No, they definitely asked my sexual history. Like, okay, you know what I mean? You know, you gotta get a prostate check and a physical. You gotta all the things. So, you know, I was as honest and transparent as I wanted to be. You know, we got hippo law, all that kind of thing. So I felt comfortable, you know. And of course, it wasn't like that my first physical or visit to a doctor's office, you know what I mean? But honestly, I think it was purely out of just like, genuine concern and sexual health conversations, you know what I mean? That he was letting me know, like, hey, there's something out here that can kill you, and there's something out here that can save you, be a great. It can save you, be a preventative measure, you know, like, it's not. It's not the green light to go raw dogging it. You know what I mean? Like, just. Just not. Not at all like that. Because obviously it's. It's a. It's a long list of other things that. That.

[Mandy]

That.

[Raheem Devon]

That are out there that we don't want, you know, STIs and stuff like that. So, I mean, he really broke it down. He made me feel very. He made me feel very comfortable to have a conversation. You know, me. Me particular, I was looking for a black doctor. This is me in particular, you know what I mean? At the time. And we immediately, like, hit it off and had a. And, you know, and I didn't feel like it was coming from a place of, like, who I am or what I do, you know what I mean? Because I've been, you know, being a public figure can be. It can be. I won't say annoying, but, you know, I've been in places where, like, I'm not trying to. I'm not trying to dap you up in the restroom, homie, or literally getting, you know, getting an HIV test. And it's like, can I get an autograph?

[Mindy B]

And I'm like, that's crazy.

[Raheem Devon]

Are you kidding?

[Weezy]

I mean, that's crazy.

[Raheem Devon]

You Know. Yes. So. So, you know, so. So, yeah, again, you know, Dr. Hodges, he's. He's amazing. You know, I had. I. I did have a lot of questions. I, too. I, too, have heard. Have. Have heard, you know, and.

[Mandy]

And.

[Raheem Devon]

And now that I know what I know, that, yeah, like, you know, this is not a. You know, HIV is not a LGBTQ thing. HIV is a global pandemic epidemic that. That. That is back on the rise. You know, I come from a. I come from an era where there was a lot of messaging, you know, and you just don't see that anymore. You know what I mean? So, absolutely, you can. You know, there are. You know, they are children. My oldest son is. My oldest son is 20. You know what I mean? So his brother right behind him, is 17. So, you know, there are folks out here that don't know what HIV is, which is crazy.

[Weezy]

You know, I really wanted to tell y', all, you just had me thinking of this. I completely wanted to share this story, but forgot this was the perfect time. Last week, I got tested, and for some reason, I was nervous because, you know, it don't. You cannot fuck for a year, still be nervous. And the doctor saw me being nervous, and she goes, have you heard about prep? I said, yes, I have, sister. And you know what? I appreciate you saying that.

[Mindy B]

I don't know what I'm giving off.

[Weezy]

And just how Mandy asked you, did the doctor assume you might have been gay or sleep with men? I was starting to think to myself, because we all have that stigma, no matter who we are, even though we're all advocates. I was like, does she think I'm a hoe? Or she just saying it? Cause I'm nervous, and it's like, we actually have to get over. And it's me here, right, wanting to tell everybody to get on this thing. But I was also like, damn, I can't believe that even came into my brain. So I can't imagine those of you listening that are, like, maybe feeling a little pressured to get on prep or feeling like you don't need it. Cause you ain't out here. But it's the pool, the dating pool that we're in, right? You could be with one person, but when rates are as high as they are, that one person can be affected. But speaking of one person, I wanted to play a little icebreaker again with you. Mandy and I love to do this with our guests, and I feel like you're gonna have some good answers. So we'll play smash your past, but it's Smashed out. So even out to honesty, their past sex and long distance relationships. Okay, so she's a 10. But you find out by scrolling on her IG before the date that she's been to a bunch of your shows before, even though she says she's never heard your music. You gonna smash or pass?

[Raheem Devon]

I'm probably gonna pass.

[Weezy]

And she's a 10, man.

[Mindy B]

Depending on what she look like.

[Raheem Devon]

Nah, I'm gonna pass.

[Mindy B]

Cause he said she's a liar. Out the gate, she's a 10.

[Mandy]

Out.

[Raheem Devon]

I mean, so you gotta factor in the lying. You know that. Why lie about something like that? Lie about the little things, lie about the big things.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Raheem Devon]

And then there's a lot of other things that come into play. Like, what's the agenda? Like what?

[Weezy]

You know, to get your money.

[Raheem Devon]

What's the alternative?

[Weezy]

Okay, for the past, she's a 10. But five years ago on Twitter, she said, damn, Donald Trump. Really starting a new wave. I'm in.

[Raheem Devon]

Five years ago.

[Weezy]

Five years ago.

[Raheem Devon]

Meaning? Meaning like we going. Meaning like. Meaning like we are. We. We're already together. And then. And then like one day I stumble upon an old.

[Weezy]

You didn't smash yet in old tweet. But you saw the tweet.

[Raheem Devon]

I smash it.

[Weezy]

So you gonna smash or pass based on the tweet? It was five years ago, though.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, I'm gonna probably pass.

[Weezy]

Yeah.

[Mindy B]

I'm smashing. And we're having a conversation and debate.

[Weezy]

How fine you are.

[Mindy B]

I mean.

[Raheem Devon]

I mean, let me say this. It ain't gonna be. It wouldn't be just upon that that I'm gonna base my decision on either. So. So there's an elevator. There's a few other dynamics that are involved, but I don't, you know, maybe be there. How about this? I smash and I'm good. And I'm there for a good time.

[Mindy B]

Not a long time.

[Weezy]

Cause why else are you on? Okay.

[Mindy B]

All right, hold on.

[Weezy]

Please attend your dream celebrity crush. You've been liking all her photos on ig. She says, hey, Raheem, I'm in Australia on set. I can't leave, but I want you to come and see me. Are you gonna blindly fly out to Smash?

[Raheem Devon]

Oh, hell no. They got all kind of face recognition of.

[Mindy B]

Wait, what?

[Raheem Devon]

They got all kind of. I'm not. You said. You said I'm not. You said, am I flying out or for the.

[Mindy B]

You're not going to Australia to meet your celebrity.

[Raheem Devon]

Not without confirming that it's really.

[Weezy]

They're writing you back.

[Raheem Devon]

Assume they're having this confidence well, we're having this conversation on. You want me to assume they're real, though? We don't live in an era. We don't live in an era where.

[Mindy B]

You can assume anything.

[Raheem Devon]

You gotta fact check everything now.

[Weezy]

Ten thousand dollar flight or not.

[Raheem Devon]

Oh, oh, for sure. Oh, for sure. Like, depending on what? Yeah, absolutely.

[Weezy]

It's my dream celebrity.

[Raheem Devon]

No, absolutely, Absolutely, absolutely. And back there it is.

[Mindy B]

Man, I'll go to middle America. What are we talking about? Australia. I go to date in Ohio. What are we talking about?

[Weezy]

I'm thinking Australia is like, okay, she's a 10. But. And this is the final one, the sex related. She thinks prep is a little gay now. Do you use to educate? Do you still. I'm not.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah. So. So one, I'm not insecure about my sexuality. You know what I mean? So. So, yeah. So I'm, I'm. That's an opportunity to educate. You know what I mean? Like, I've.

[Mandy]

And.

[Raheem Devon]

And ironically, you know, I, you know, I, I've dated and since being on prep, I've had to have a conversation, hey, I'm on prep. And it was, it. It's. It's a, it's. It's amazing the amount of people who still think, you know, which is. Which is a crazy stigma that it's only for gay people or, you know, lgbtq.

[Mindy B]

But me, I mean, I can imagine explaining it as a, as a man, like, because even as a woman, I was just telling my boyfriend about it and he was like, so does that mean you have sex with guys that have sex with guys? Like, what does that mean? And we're open, so we have sex with other people. And the conversation literally went to educating that especially as someone who goes to sex clubs who has other partners, it's just like, mind you, and I use condoms with everybody, but boy, do I just not trust anybody for real. And again, like, kind of like you said, h. HIV is, you know, it's. It's possible for anybody. It doesn't care who it attaches itself to. It literally can be for all of us.

[Weezy]

You had a QR code before they could meet you to learn about prep.

[Raheem Devon]

Well, to learn about HIV, to learn about sexual health, to learn about PrEP to. To know the statistics of what was going on. Statistics of what's going on.

[Mandy]

So.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mindy B]

So I love that you bring that up because, like, so many people have a negative thought on celebrities who get involved, say, with, you know, the voting and elections and getting into politics. I love that you're getting into this space and we've seen other artists recently talk about prep as well. I know Tamar has talked about it. Dua, Lipa, Cardi B. I want to ask you, however, though, taking the celebrity out of it, how do you have this conversation with your male counterparts, with your friends? I don't know many other men advocating for this at this moment, celebrity wise or just influencer wise. So I would like to know, how does this conversation start or begin with your male friends? Like, are you also educating them outside of black women? We know that that's who we're trying to reach, but we also have a lot of black male listeners here as well. What do those conversations look like?

[Raheem Devon]

Absolutely. Absolutely. Having a conversation. I mean, for me, it's, you know, it's easy. You know, most of my male friends, most of my, my closest inner circle that I can think of, everybody's married except for me. You know what I mean? And which, which, by the way, taking it back a step with Dr. Hodge, he, he, he mentioned to me at, when he was, when he was telling me about Brett, you know, that was one of the things that kind of stood out to me, I think, in that conversation that day, is that he has married couples that are on prep, but for a number of different reasons as well. So.

[Mindy B]

Okay.

[Raheem Devon]

You know what I mean? So that gave you, you know, so.

[Weezy]

He didn't tell you?

[Raheem Devon]

No, he was just. It was just that he was just telling. He was just being like, really raw and honest. Just. Just what he's seeing on a, on a day to day, you know what I mean? The fact that, you know, people are stepping outside of their relationships, you know, maybe they. What one partner thinks is a monogamous relationship while living a poly lifestyle, like, just so many things, not being honest about their partners, about, you know, their sexual health or what it is they're into, you know? You know what I mean?

[Mindy B]

Raheem, when you talk to your homeboys, and we know homies share, like when they have side chicks or when they're stepping out, like, are those moments that you. That you would bring up prep to your friends, like, again, like, I know the importance of bringing this to public platforms and going on tour with you, but I think it's important also to talk about how these conversations can be had in the group chat or over a spades game or at a cookout. Like, how are you bringing this into your personal life?

[Raheem Devon]

Absolutely. I mean, for me, like, again, it's an easy conversation because I'm not, you know, if any conversation that can save you Know my life, my homies life. Like, I'm gonna have a conversation, right? But I had a conversation with my 20 year old son and my 17 year old in particular. You know what I mean?

[Mindy B]

Tell me how that works.

[Raheem Devon]

I mean, we're out and I mean, I'm just. I'm one of those dads. It's like we have like warped sense of humor anyway, so. So that. So that allows us to be able to kind of like tie into, you know, conversations about sex. I mean, I think, I think, I think, I think it never be. I don't know if it ever becomes comfortable for your kid to like, want to talk to you about, like, what they got going on sexually, right? You know, dating, you know, you know what I mean? And coming and coming to you for advice here and there. But. But I like to always. I like for them to always know that the door is open to having conversations, you know? So, you know, my oldest, he's in the. He's in the military. He's an airman stationed out in Arizona. So I know, like, I'm pretty certain.

[Mindy B]

He'S, you know, you. No, my sister and my brother are army veterans.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, I know. He gets so sticky. Icky, yucky. And I've been on a base or two in a lifetime.

[Weezy]

Baby. Boom.

[Mindy B]

Now.

[Weezy]

Oh, I want to hear something crazy. We had a risky dinner that I be doing with Gilead. And y' all probably seen it. It's the whole red thing. So one of the women at the dinner starts the conversation by saying, yo, like, I can't have children anymore due to a sexually transmitted infection I had. So I'm telling y', all, make sure you protect yourselves. This is like first five minutes of the dinner, right? So everybody judging her. Hour later, we start getting to the real thing. She's like, I was on the base with my husband. You gotta get tested to even obviously get into the military. She said while being there, her man.

[Mindy B]

Was such a hell.

[Weezy]

She found out when she got her next annual that he ended up giving her something. And because she wasn't able to check because, like, you know, they were busy, they were doing anything. They're not getting tested as often. She literally. They had to remove her fallopian tubes. And he said to me and the rest of the women at this dinner, like, y' all are married at this table. Not realizing that this protective conversation also has to do with you. It ain't just me, it ain't just the other single bitches here. Like, we're all included in this. And when you think about how so many people in relationships feel safer, like, oh, I'm not on them streets no more. I'm good. Like, this conversation is for everybody, not just the three of us who are outside. You know, like, sometimes Mandy and I are talking about things, our open relationships and the fun, crazy things we do. And I really feel like people be listening to us or, you know, a mean comment saying, like, oh, they wow.

[Mindy B]

They this.

[Weezy]

I'm not doing it. I'm not putting myself at risk. That man be outside with his friends, huh? Like, it's the same.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah. And that. And that was. And, and that was. And you know, and that was the conversation, you know, that I had with the boys. It was just like, just like, hey, just so you know, there's something out here called HIV that can become aids, you know what I mean? And it can kill you. And, you know, it was interesting because they, they don't. It's not being talked about and you know, amongst, amongst their. Them and their crews and, you know, their age bracket. You know what I mean?

[Mindy B]

So, Raheem, are you single or are you dating or single dating or. That's the same thing. I only ask because I want to know how you bring this conversation to any of your partners. As a man, how do you say, let's get tested together? Do you have any stories of how that conversation happens while dating?

[Raheem Devon]

Update. I've dated and I've dated and had. I've been in multiple situations where I've dated and where we sat down and like, got tested, like before we did whatever we did. You know what I mean? So I've been. So I've been. Yeah, but so I've been like, like literally. You know what I mean? And the first time, it was. It was. It was. If it was. It was awkward for me. But it was refreshing, though.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Raheem Devon]

You know what I mean? Because. Because of course there's like a, there's like a, you know, there's like a woo side that happens like after the fact, right? And then, and then I can't deny, like, you know, there's a period where you're waiting. You're waiting for the, you're waiting for the results. You're sitting there, you're waiting for the results with your partner, and you're like, what if it comes back? What if it comes back positive, you know?

[Weezy]

At home test.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, tell us about it. Yeah, at home test. Yeah. So. So, so at home test. And I definitely was 17 with the at home test, you know what I mean?

[Mindy B]

I mean, That's a majority. That's very mature.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah, it's definitely back in it. This is definitely within the next. We could say the last decade. You know what I mean? For sure.

[Weezy]

Okay.

[Raheem Devon]

Yeah. And.

[Mindy B]

And where are you getting these? At home tests.

[Raheem Devon]

Let's.

[Mindy B]

For anyone wanting to test the same.

[Raheem Devon]

As you, they got at home tests everywhere. Cvs, he said, go on Amazon. Same place you go. Amazon, they do home delivery. Same place you go. You know, Same place you go. You know, to get a pack of.

[Weezy]

Magnum xl just to give y' all the brand. The ones that I've used are Aura Quick, and they're like $30, I think, at Duane Read. I know, like, Quest has some. But the ones that I've seen in the store is Aura Quick. And it's quick, and it's not even blood, it's spit.

[Raheem Devon]

So. Yeah, so.

[Mandy]

So.

[Raheem Devon]

So that. So there's that period of time where you're like, what if my test come back positive? Oh, shit. What if she could. What if her test comes back positive? You know what I mean? Like, you know. But yeah, I mean.

[Mindy B]

Okay, wait, wait. Now, what would you do if the test did come back positive?

[Raheem Devon]

You know what I mean? I mean.

[Mindy B]

I mean, not his test, but the other person.

[Weezy]

Right, Right.

[Mindy B]

Yeah. What would you do?

[Raheem Devon]

You know me, I'm a human being. So the first thing I'm. The first thing I'm gonna do is try to be consoling or I'm probably gonna. If you talk like this. Listen, real. It's a. Yeah. I mean, obviously they just got some news that is, like, life changing. Right? Life changing. Right. Do I just burn up the road and just leave? Like, absolutely not. Like, you know, I'm gonna. You know, on a serious note, I'm gonna be as helpful as I can be. And. And, you know, I'm.

[Mandy]

I'm.

[Raheem Devon]

I'm assuming, like, this is somebody that I don't know that well. Right. And maybe this is our first time. Maybe we've been hanging out, we've been on a few dates, whatever, and we decided that we about to be intimate. And then we get that news. Like, I'm not gonna just like. Like, just roll out. Like, you know, I'm trying to. With. With. With. Now. I got. And of course, I got cheat code advantage that I can call somebody, literally, from Gilead or, you know, or somebody from my team. I can call and say, like, hey, in confidentiality, I have a friend.

[Mandy]

And.

[Raheem Devon]

And, you know, and. And it's. Try to be there. Like, you know, that's. That I would imagine that that would be like. I can, I can imagine.

[Weezy]

And luckily, you know, it's not a dead right, because at the end of the day, there's a path of health forward, regardless of your HIV status. Like, there's prevention. You're already on prep. You know what I mean? Like condoms, like the, the thing I, I think that people don't understand when we're all trying to force them to get tested. I feel like sometimes I'm screaming. It is because the only problem is not knowing if you have it, you can control it. You get on medicine, you live life easy.

[Mindy B]

But not only that, we see Magic Johnson and Cookie. Yeah, baby. You know what I mean? So there's also a path for relationship and romantic partnership and all of these things, you know, with, with, with medication and things.

[Raheem Devon]

But, but, but, but respectfully though, when we talk about Magic Johnson, the Cookie, we talking about a different generation, you know what I mean? Like, there's a whole nother. There's a whole nother set of demographics, you know, from what, 14 to 28, that may not. They may not. Either they may not know or they. Or they don't care, you know.

[Mindy B]

Oh, I'm not gonna lie. I think at one point, especially seeing how long Magic Johnson has lived, there was quite a bit of time or an era where the conversation around HIV literally ceased to exist. It's almost like they thought it just disappeared.

[Weezy]

Nah, I thought he was lying.

[Mindy B]

So I can definitely dumb.

[Weezy]

Back then, I was just like, ain't no way he paid somebody. Like, he got the magic.

[Mindy B]

Well, even I would say the generation under us, I think we definitely had enough education to know how it was. I actually lost an aunt to the virus. And so, you know, it's interesting just now seeing that the conversation is coming back to the front, which I think is very important, because you're right, Rahim. I do think, like this younger generation right now just isn't have the. Having the conversation. And even though they're having less sex, I think with the sensationalizing of raw sex, I think these conversations go hand in hand for sure.

[Raheem Devon]

It makes, it makes for. It makes for a very dangerous time. You know, when you think about where we are, you know, on this political climate, you think about what it's potentially about to happen in terms of, like, with insurance going up and healthcare and like all of these things and the defunding of Planned Parenthood, it's like the perfect storm.

[Mindy B]

Yeah. I do want to also remind you guys that we did in fact have an episode this was maybe within our first year. We did have an episode where someone was born with hiv. So I'm going to make sure to link that episode in the description here. But we spoke to someone who literally, their mother had it and contracted it prior to being pregnant, and they were born with hiv. So I'll be sure to link that episode as well in the description of this bio. Well, Raheem, I do want to thank you so much for having this conversation with us. I guess if you could leave with a final word, I would love to know your final thoughts to getting tested and also just speaking to our male listeners as well.

[Raheem Devon]

Again, you know, anybody, is HIV possible? You know what I mean? So, you know, have the conversations you need to have. You know, learn about prep, you know, see if it's for you. Talk to your primary care physician about it. You know, educate yourself about it, on it and see if it's for you. And then, of course, for, like, all the things that we've been talking about, you can go to Healthy Sexual or Healthy Sexuals with the s dot com, you know, to get more information. Yeah, it's something that, you know, that. That we continue to fight and, you know, create awareness about. You know, I thank y' all for having me on the platform. I look forward to coming back and having more of a raw conversation.

[Mindy B]

Yes. Raw but protected. Raw, but protected.

[Raheem Devon]

Okay. Raw but raw, but protected.

[Weezy]

Ready?

[Mindy B]

Thank you so very much. And, guys, we will be putting all of the resources and links in the description of this episode. Make sure you also join us over on patreon.com backslash horrible decisions where we're going to continue the conversation, but also provide you with those links and resources so that you can educate yourself on prep. The year is almost over, but you definitely want to go into 2026 knowing your status. So make sure you go ahead and set up those appointments to get tested. We highly encourage it and we want to thank you guys for being educated and edutain while listening to this episode. Thank you so much.

[Weezy]

And we will see you next week.

[Mandy]

This is an I Heart podcast.