Episode Overview

Podcast: Decisions, Decisions
Episode: You've Got Decisions: He Gave Me Herpes! How Can I Trust Again?
Hosts: Mandii B and WeezyWTF
Release Date: January 7, 2026

This episode tackles a difficult listener question about betrayal, trust, and sexual health after contracting herpes from a partner who withheld the diagnosis. Mandii B and WeezyWTF provide candid, empathetic advice on disclosure, stigma, dating with HSV, and regaining trust in partners and oneself—all while keeping their signature blend of honesty and humor.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting the Tone: Appreciation & Reader Letters

Timestamps: 01:08–03:28

• The hosts kick off by reading a thoughtful appreciation email from a listener, Maya, who praises both the podcast and their book, No Holds Barred.
• Maya shares: “Tuning in each week... has felt like having trusted companions along my journey. You make me laugh, reflect, and sometimes challenge myself…” (01:35)
• Mandii and Weezy emphasize the impact of listener feedback, noting that these stories inspire their content and underscore the value of vulnerability in their work.

2. The Main Letter: Betrayal, Diagnosis & Dating Fears

Timestamps: 04:11–08:53

• Listener (“Lonely Lover Girl”) details losing her virginity at 22, then being pursued by a much older coworker (41). After a period of trust and sexual exploration, he infects her with herpes—knowingly, and without disclosure.
• The emotional fallout: devastation, broken trust, fear of future intimacy.
• A later dating attempt ends in shame when a casual partner reacts harshly after she reveals her HSV status—further deepening her anxieties about vulnerability and self-worth.
• She asks: “How do I navigate dating when trust was broken for me really early…? I’m scared no one will want me the same way. It’s like I was tainted before I ever got the chance.” (07:44)

3. Responses & Strategies for Healing and Disclosure

Support Resources, Stigma, and Advice
Timestamps: 08:24–11:03

• Mandii shares: "A friend of mine who realized she had HSV during her pregnancy... she joined a support group in New York and... there's one in each city."
• Offers the National STD Hotline: 800-227-8922 where one can “role play” the disclosure conversation for confidence and language tips (09:13).
• Emphasis on seeking community and resources to handle the emotional impact.
• Weezy explains HSV’s prevalence and biology—highlighting it as a skin disease and challenging the stigma:

  “Literally, you could get herpes with the use of a condom. Also, there’s HSV1, HSV2... you could have HSV in your fudgeing armpit. HSV can be in different places on your body.” (10:35)

• Discussion of HSV1 “rebrand” as a common cold sore, noting that oral-to-genital transmission is possible, and that it’s far more common than people realize.

4. Addressing Risks, Relationship Realities & Emotional Intelligence

Timestamps: 11:03–15:30

• The hosts debate dating with HSV, with Weezy advocating for emotional and sexual maturity in prospective partners:

  “This kind of conversation leads you to be with someone who is sexually intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and has no fear in communicating about what’s happening with their bodies.” (12:46)

• They clarify that herpes can be transmitted even without visible outbreaks, due to “asymptomatic shedding” (14:05).
• Reassure the listener: “While herpes is very common, it’s often mild, and many people who have it don’t know they have it. But transmission risk is manageable…” (14:55, Weezy)
• Address the prevalence of HSV and the possibility of fulfilling relationships for those who are positive.
• Mandii normalizes the diagnosis sharing a story where a woman discovers HSV during pregnancy, but the couple is able to maintain intimacy and trust.

5. Encouragement, Disclosure Tools, and Community

Timestamps: 15:30–18:36

• Hosts stress the importance of paying attention to the body’s warning signs (tingling, itching, pain), staying on top of outbreaks, and using antiviral meds to reduce risk (16:07).
• Weezy provides reassurance on self-worth:

  “I hate that you feel like you’re like trash now, like that no one’s gonna want you… that’s just not true. 80% of the fucking global population has some form of herpes… Life goes on.” (16:35)

• Advice to join local support groups to see examples of thriving, happy people with HSV.
• Reference to a past episode with a guest who openly discussed her journey with herpes (17:34), suggesting listening for further guidance.
• Direct encouragement:

  “You are love. You’re deserving of love. And herpes ain’t gonna stop it. There’s a lot of niggas that’ll still fuck through the herpes.” (18:13, Weezy)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On stigma and dating confidence:
  “Anyone with any kind of infection or something that’s incurable, they need to know… life goes on, and there’s support.” — Mandy (17:34)

• On emotional maturity:
  “You want to be with someone who is sexually intelligent, emotionally intelligent, and has no fear in communicating about what’s happening with their bodies.” — Weezy (12:46)

• Candid affirmation:
  “You are deserving of love. And herpes ain’t gonna stop it.” — Weezy (18:13)

• Empowering advice:
  “Find someone who is mature and having conversations around sex in general.” — Mandy (11:03)

Important Timestamps

• Appreciation Letter / Podcast Reflection: 01:08–03:28
• Listener’s Story & Main Dilemma: 04:11–08:53
• Support Group & Guidance: 08:24–09:18
• HSV Facts & Transmission Risks: 10:14–15:30
• Emotional Support & Disclosure Tips: 16:07–18:36

Summary Takeaways

• You are not alone: There’s a vast supportive community of people who have been through similar experiences and are living full lives.
• Empathy and maturity matter: Seek partners who can have open, mature conversations about sexual health.
• Stigma is often based on ignorance: Herpes is common and manageable; many live with it without knowing, and transmission risk is often overblown.
• Disclosure is difficult but empowering: There are resources (hotlines, support groups, and roleplay exercises) designed to help individuals confidently and safely disclose their status.
• Self-worth is not defined by diagnosis: “Life goes on, and you are deserving of love.”

If you or someone you know is navigating sexual health challenges, consider reaching out to support groups, hotlines, or communities for resources, solidarity, and empowerment.