You've Got Decisions: Is He A Certified Freak Or Is He Being "Careful"? (Ft. Eddin)

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Decisions, Decisions" Episode - "You've Got Decisions: Is He A Certified Freak Or Is He Being 'Careful'?" (Ft. Eddin)

Release Date: June 4, 2025
Hosts: Mandii B and Guest Eden

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Introduction

In this episode of "Decisions, Decisions," host Mandii B teams up with guest Eden to tackle a listener's intricate relationship dilemma. The episode delves into the nuances of modern relationships, emphasizing safety, communication, and self-care amidst non-traditional relationship dynamics.

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Listener's Concern: Bri's Dilemma

At [04:58], listener Bri reaches out with a complex issue:

"I've been fucking with this guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like, he's just hot and cold with me... one day he showed me his medicine cabinet... I look in the cabinet and I see doxycycline and PrEP... I asked him about it, and he said he doesn't take PrEP; he just gives it to his friends..."
— Bri [04:58]

Bri is perplexed by her boyfriend's erratic behavior and the presence of medications like doxycycline and Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP) in his medicine cabinet. This situation raises red flags about his sexual health practices and commitment level in their relationship.

---

Hosts' Analysis and Guidance

Challenging Assumptions About Mental Health

At [07:10], Mandy B addresses Bri's initial assumption that her partner might be bipolar due to his "hot and cold" behavior:

"Not you thinking this nigga might be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass, girl. Maybe he's just not that into you."
— Mandy B [07:10]

Eden reinforces the importance of avoiding premature mental health diagnoses:

"He could be engaging in more risky sex, which makes me believe..."
— Eden [09:17]

Understanding the Medications: Doxycycline and PrEP

Mandy B clarifies the purpose of doxycycline, dispelling Bri's concern that it relates to bipolar disorder:

"Doxycycline is a broad-spectrum tetracycline antibiotic commonly prescribed to treat various bacterial infections..."
— Mandy B [08:09]

She further explains that the presence of PrEP is significant:

"PrEP is associated with preventing HIV, which could imply he's having multiple sexual partners."
— Mandy B [09:43]

Assessing Relationship Health and Safety

At [10:22], Mandy B advises Bri to prioritize her health by requesting her partner's sexual health test results:

"I would say you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him but you're not together. So it's not exclusive. And if you see that this is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's any reason to shame him... ask for test results."
— Mandy B [10:22]

Eden emphasizes the importance of self-preservation over appeasing a potentially unreliable partner:

"Be selfish. Take care of yourself."
— Eden [20:13]

Identifying Red Flags and Making Informed Decisions

The hosts discuss the implications of Bri's partner's behavior and medications as potential red flags:

"Hot and cold is definitely a big red flag."
— Eden [23:17]

Mandy B adds:

"His hot and cold could literally also be her realizing that she's not getting what she wants out of this relationship."
— Mandy B [23:46]

They collectively stress the necessity of Bri evaluating whether she is comfortable with the uncertainties and potential risks posed by her partner's actions.

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Key Insights and Takeaways

1. Avoid Jumping to Mental Health Diagnoses: It's crucial not to hastily label a partner's inconsistent behavior as a mental health issue without evidence.

2. Understand Medication Purposes: Recognizing the use of medications like doxycycline and PrEP can offer insights into a partner's sexual health practices and risks.

3. Prioritize Personal Health and Safety: Always ensure personal well-being by seeking transparency in sexual health and not compromising one's safety for the sake of a relationship.

4. Recognize and Act on Red Flags: Inconsistent behavior and unexplained medications can signal deeper issues in a relationship, warranting careful consideration and action.

5. Effective Communication is Paramount: Open and honest discussions about sexual health, relationship expectations, and personal boundaries are essential for fostering healthy connections.

6. Self-Care Over Appeasement: Taking care of one's own mental and physical health should take precedence over maintaining a potentially unhealthy relationship dynamic.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Mandii B and Eden provide Bri with thoughtful analysis and practical advice, urging her to prioritize her safety and well-being. They highlight the importance of clear communication and self-care in navigating the complexities of modern relationships, especially when faced with ambiguous behaviors and potential health risks.

"Stick to the safer route. Accept the hard truth with your safety."
— Mandy B [23:57]

By addressing Bri's concerns with empathy and expertise, the hosts empower listeners to make informed decisions that align with their personal well-being and relationship goals.

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Additional Resources

• Book Mentioned: No Holds Barred: A Dual Manifesto of Sexual Exploration and Power by Mandii B.
• Tour Info: For live discussions and deeper engagements, visit nhbtour.com.

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing a comprehensive overview for those who haven't tuned in while highlighting the pivotal moments and advice shared by the hosts.

Transcript

[Mandy B]

This is an iHeart podcast. ATT has a new guarantee because most things in life are not guaranteed like getting through self checkout by yourself. Not guaranteed in a world where nothing is guaranteed at and T is bringing something new to the table at and T is introducing a guarantee with connectivity you depend on, deals you want and service you deserve or or they make it right. Learn [e-mail] guarantee@ connecting changes everything. Terms and conditions apply. Visit att.com guarantee for details. Hey guys, you need to check legends.com today. Legends is a free to play social casino and sports book with all of the games that you love. They have hundreds of slots, a full sports book and even have live dealers for table games. That's L, E G E N D Z. The best part is you get free coins to play with every day and redemption to your bank account is instant and new players get an exclusive welcome bonus. Join thousands of players on legends with a Z.com today. No purchase necessary. Legends International Void we're prohibited by law. 18/ terms and conditions do apply. Join thousands of players on legends with a Z.com today. It's me, Andy B. From the Decisions Decisions podcast and my friends in the US Virgin Islands want you to experience the beautiful islands of St. Thomas, St. Croix and St. John. USVI is hands down one of my favorite spots. And the best part, if you're traveling from the us, you don't even need a passport. I'm all about the food, the people, the culture and those beaches. They are absolutely beautiful. Head to visit usvi.com to start planning your next vacation. That's visit usvi.com usbinaturally in rhythm.

[Eden]

I'm Rodney Williams. And I'm Travis Holloway. Welcome to the wealthbreak podcast, a real conversation about finance. Let's be honest, building wealth. Life doesn't look the same for everyone.

[Mandy B]

I feel like sometimes being broke is a cycle and that we might have.

[Eden]

To revisit that and we're not stopping at success stories.

[Mandy B]

What happens when it doesn't go right? How do you cope with it?

[Eden]

Because wealth isn't just about money. It's about creating a life where you thrive and help others do the same. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartRadio app.

[Mandy B]

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what? You've got decisions. Welcome to another episode of you Got Decisions. It's your girl, Mandy V. And I'm joined this week with Eden.

[Eden]

Hello.

[Mandy B]

Yes, Eddy, we are taping this in the A. So Wheezy is not here today, but it's okay. It's okay because I'm actually going to lean into a very special piece that I have over on Patreon called Mandy on the hotline. So this week for you got decisions, you. You're actually gonna hear a voicemail and I'd love to receive more voicemails from you guys. So if you'd like to call in and leave a voicemail, you can go ahead and call 973-932-0227 and you may hear your voicemail here. But for sure, over on Patreon on our very special bonus content, Mandy on the Hotline. If however you want to send in where they send it a letter, you could always email decisionspodmail.com. we will answer your questions here and hopefully help you out with your life.

[Eden]

Do you have a book coming out soon?

[Mandy B]

Don't do that. Don't do that.

[Eden]

Oh, you do.

[Mandy B]

You know I do. If you haven't yet, make sure you also purchase our book, no holds barred, A dual manifesto, sexual exploration and power.

[Eden]

I thought. I thought she had the bruises.

[Mandy B]

Baby, what happened there? It's the drink. It's the drink. Drink. It's the drink, baby. Listen, it's been a long. It's been a long day. It's been a long day. Also, we're going on tour starting in July and we want to see each and every one of you there.

[Eden]

Yes, ma' am.

[Mandy B]

So please, please, please head on over to NHB tour.com and get your tickets for the tour. And of course, purchase no holes barred wherever you get booked.

[Eden]

Make them New York time bestsellers, please.

[Mandy B]

And then you gonna help me with this question we got.

[Eden]

Let's do it. Come on.

[Mandy B]

What's crazy is this one just came in.

[Eden]

Oh, yeah.

[Mandy B]

Fresh. This a fresh one. So let's see what she talking about. It looked like a lot. Bear with me. This one's two minutes, right? Two minutes. It's okay because she got a lot. She gave us details. And I appreciate that. You feel me? All right, so here we go.

[Bri]

Hey, Mandy. Hey, Eddie. My name is Bri. I'm from Kelly. But I'm gonna keep it short. So I've been fucking with this guy for like six months. Sometimes he's like, he's just hot and cold with me. Sometimes. Sometimes. But one day he showed me his medicine cabinet. I was like, oh, okay, interesting. And then like few weeks later, I was cooking at his house and he had left for a minute but the medicine cabinet was open, so I was like, oh, let me see if he's. If he's taking bipolar medication because he needs. So weird. Anyway, I look in the cabinet and I see doxicillin in prep. And I. My heart like literally sank to my stomach. But I had to get myself together. I was like, maybe he's just like extra careful, whatever. Because, you know, we just. We just. But anyway, he had like side bottles of each of them. But anyway, the next day I asked him about it and he was like, oh, I don't take prep. I've just been. I just got it. So I was able. So I could get the doctor fill in. I was like, so you acted gay so you can get Dr. Filling. He was like, it's just. You take it. Like I think he said 36 hours after. After you have sex and you think you've been exposed to somebody. So he was like, I don't take prep. I just. I just give it to my friends when they need it. And I'm just like, I don't know. I don't know what to think about it. I tried. I. I'm believing him at the moment, but it's still like, damn, damn. Like, you're really a freaky ass to have doctor in prep and this amount. But I also was like, maybe he's selling it. I don't know. But he lives in la and I just wanted to know what you would think if you saw that and.

[Eden]

Yeah, thank you.

[Mandy B]

Okay, first off, not you thinking this nigga might be bipolar because he hot and cold with your ass, girl. Maybe he's just not that into you. First off. And clearly you might think that already because now you think he gay, but you thinking that he bipolar of. Of him being up and down with his moods with you or hot and cold is crazy, right? I love too. That we just love. Or in the space of mental health where we just are diagnosing because let's be very clear, my friends. No, I was quick to figure that out. Nah, she. Well, for the audience, Doxycycline. I don't even know if this time is it even do.

[Eden]

We'll cut that out. Do it. No, I'm kidding.

[Mandy B]

Doxy, Cylin, Cylin, Cyclin, Cyclin, Doxy, Doxy. There you go. Doy is broad spectrum tetracycline. Another goddamn word.

[Eden]

Damn.

[Mandy B]

I'm not antibiotic. Commonly prescribed to treat various bacterial infections.

[Eden]

Right.

[Mandy B]

And certain parasitic infections. So bacteria infections include anything from. And here. This is what's important. Anything that causes respiratory infections so like pneumonia and bronchitis, skin infections like acne or cellulitis, UTIs, and then sexually transmitted diseases like chlamydia and syphilis. Also tick borne illnesses like Lyme disease. But it's also a common treatment for acne and rosacea. I say all of that to say none of those things are probably it because PREP was right next to it. But that particular one could be used for anything else. Now, the fact that he said he has it and had to get the PREP in order to be diagnosed with this one. My concerns are. Hold on. My concerns are if he knew or claims that this antibiotic.

[Eden]

Right.

[Mandy B]

Clears up or saves him from getting something like a chlamydia or a syphilis within 36 hours, I would be absolutely concerned for my health because that means he's more probably out here not using protection. I do like the kind of preventative measure of getting this antibiotic.

[Eden]

Yes.

[Mandy B]

However, I would be concerned with how he is having sex with other people. Now, you didn't say that this was your partner. You said that this is a guy that you've been fucking with for six months. To me in the fact that you're also saying that he's hot and cold. He probably hot and cold should be dealing with other people. Oh, not, not that what you were saying with you he could be more.

[Eden]

Hot with others and colder. Will you.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean? The only way I think you should consider maintaining this situationship if you like him.

[Eden]

Okay.

[Mandy B]

Would be to ask for test results. Because I would say you're clearly in a position where you're fucking him but you're not together.

[Eden]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

You're not in a relationship with him. So it's not exclusive. And if you see that this is the medication in his cabinet, I don't think there's any reason to shame him or call him a hoe or.

[Eden]

No.

[Mandy B]

But he could be engaging in more risky sex, which makes me believe it should be easy. If he, if it was this easy for him to talk about why this medication isn't. Is in his medicine cabinet, this would actually be probably a really good candidate for someone to be like, hey, that's dope. I see like you got preventative measures in your medicine cabinet. Do you mind if we share results? And because he has the medication, I would say on a monthly basis.

[Eden]

Do you think after six. I mean, not. I'm not saying that he can't nor should she ask. Right. I mean his initial reaction from after six months to be asked results it's gonna be.

[Mandy B]

I mean, I'm not gonna lie the way he. Whether he was lying or not, his reaction was. Hey, I only have the prep. Which prep is still associated to gay men. Yes, A gay man drug to keep them from getting HIV. We've talked about PrEP. If you haven't yet, we have a whole episode too, speaking about it with sex with Ashley over on Patreon. But prep by a man, I would automatically assume you're also dealing with men.

[Eden]

Right?

[Mandy B]

Let's be very clear. And then the other one. For him to so nonchalantly say it's something I could take if. In case I'm exposed, embarrassed.

[Eden]

Maybe he's not comfortable enough. Sure, David, I'm going to say this real quick. It doesn't matter that they've been fudgeing for six months. He still might not be comfortable. So let her know that he is into men and it is what it is. We as men could be very insecure about our own sexuality.

[Mandy B]

Absolutely right.

[Eden]

That's why I don't care about what the fuck I say sometimes. I'm like, dude, I know who I am. The truth, or at least safety comes with a hard truth.

[Mandy B]

It does. Oh, that's a bar.

[Eden]

Because the reality is that if you want to know, and I think you're being frank in one of the best way possible, which is ask for those results. Because the reality is, is that you're saving yourself and even him. Because it could really be either way at one point, right? Someone could be doing something wrong. But here it's. There's a misunderstanding.

[Mandy B]

There's something.

[Eden]

And there's something that seems a little off to you, and you shouldn't take a risk with your body if you're.

[Mandy B]

Feeling to appease this man, I agree.

[Eden]

It's not worth it. There's mad other dick, right? Mad, mad other dick.

[Mandy B]

Mad, mad bad.

[Eden]

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[Mandy B]

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[Eden]

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[Mandy B]

VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a [e-mail] Switch upfront payment of $45 for three month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate, first three months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] but clearly you like this one. I mean, yes and no. I mean, the hot and cold, him being that way. Here's the thing, too. Ask yourself, would you not want to deal with him at all if he admits to dealing with men?

[Eden]

He also might not be bipolar. He might be fucking other people.

[Mandy B]

No, no, no, no. I just. Yeah, he just means.

[Eden]

No, I'm saying that's a. Yeah, he does.

[Mandy B]

May not know how to juggle multiple people, right? So his communication and moods are there.

[Eden]

He say women, multiple people.

[Mandy B]

He. He may just not know how to navigate being on all the time, juggling so many different people. So, yeah, I think you have to ask yourself first off, okay, he's expressed to me already that he has this antibiotic in case of exposure, which means, clearly, you're not exclusive with each other, which means you both are dealing with people possibly unprotected. That's just the truth. The fact of the matter now, you have to deal with yourself or look in the mirror and ask yourself, would it bother me, truly psychologically, to know that this guy that I've been dealing with for the last six months also engages in acts with men or acts in general?

[Eden]

Do you think she knows both? I mean, you think she knows that if he's other women, maybe.

[Mandy B]

The only reason why, the fact that she said she was cooking at his house makes me think, oh, she. I mean, that it might be a little bit more than casual because you cooking a meal for someone. Okay. And this could just be me projecting. Y' all know me.

[Eden]

Yeah, you cooking a meal for me.

[Mandy B]

Cooking a meal for someone is very intimate. Um, you're also cooking it at his house. So I do think that there's a comfortability factor there where she may be progressing to really like this man. And I think that if that's the case, you have to look at what the hell is what that potential feature.

[Eden]

Looks like, what he's doing.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean? Like, is this something that you would be okay with? Like, he ain't got bipolar medicine. He got prep. And then now you're thinking, she thinks.

[Eden]

She thinks he knows.

[Mandy B]

No, let's be very clear. Can we talk about the delusion? She went down the rabbit hole of believing that. Well, maybe he just selling it. Maybe he's slanging that prep in these streets, girl, you got to take prep every day. Girl, you just ain't Selling appeal to these. They're not getting high off prep. So I need you to not think that he out here slanging prep pills. Okay? Like, so I think you have to be real with. Does this really bother you because you believe he may be dealing with other men? Have you created a safe space for him? To be honest with you, like, did you immediately.

[Eden]

That's the big one or something?

[Mandy B]

Did you immediately see that prep and be like, oh, nigga, oh, you gay.

[Eden]

Right?

[Mandy B]

Like on some bulldogs voice type shit. Nigga, you gay.

[Eden]

You actually kind of smoked that.

[Mandy B]

Or are you someone that could just be like, hey, we can suck dick together?

[Eden]

I mean, first of all.

[Mandy B]

First of all, too extreme.

[Eden]

Just because he's gay doesn't mean he wants to suck dick with his girl.

[Mandy B]

He doesn't. But I'm just saying, like, what level of comfortability have you created? To me, there's a level if he's showing you his medicine cabinet.

[Eden]

But did he.

[Mandy B]

You know what? I think she's. Maybe she looked. Well, no, no. She said she snooped while he was gone. But he. One day he showed me his medicine cabinet, and I was like, okay, interesting.

[Eden]

First of all, that's what she claims. Showing was probably like, like, he opened the. And then she's like, oh, yeah, I.

[Mandy B]

Didn'T know this mural. Yeah, I got this.

[Eden]

That prep. And then, like, then it was fine.

[Mandy B]

Okay. Valid. You might be onto something. He just went in there to grab something. He went to grab salt and medicine bottles.

[Eden]

He got flawed. She's at the front. Yeah. Like, she ain't fooling him.

[Mandy B]

Like, it.

[Eden]

But I respect it. You know, I think it's tough. I think, regardless. And I was just having this conversation with a friend of mine, and just in general.

[Mandy B]

Yes.

[Eden]

Be selfish.

[Mandy B]

Ooh.

[Eden]

Take care of yourself.

[Mandy B]

Yeah.

[Eden]

Notice at the end of the day, no matter what he's taking, even if gracefully, it could be a preventative measure. Ask for the results and protect yourself, because really, at the end of the day, you don't want to get caught. Lucky in any sense at all. And then he says, and it's not. Maybe it's not out of malice. Maybe he's doing his best to try to protect him regardless if he's with men or not. Even though, like you said. Right. The reality is that something happens to you, you're gonna have to deal with it. I don't matter what's in his medicine cabinet. It's about what's going to be in your medicine cabinet. If you don't deal with that, you don't handle it very responsibly. It's not about you being in the upper hand, is not about him doing some wax shit. It's about you figuring out and making sure that you're okay at the end of the day.

[Mandy B]

Yeah, I agree. I agree. I also think it's just like, I love what you just said about being selfish. I think as women, we often bite our y' all.

[Eden]

Y' all take care of us so much.

[Mandy B]

But. But also, we're not to the ball. And the risk of ourselves being in.

[Eden]

Danger and being extra delulu sometimes, I.

[Mandy B]

Mean, oh, women are very delusional. But I think when it comes to sex and talking about our health, that becomes difficult because we weren't taught how to do that. Our dumbasses, millennials, and I don't know what Gen Z sex education looks like now, but we literally were just taught abstinent or else you're going to get pregnant and die. So I think that there wasn't enough conversation about how to realistically, without shame and without judgment, have a very real conversation about health. Like, if you are going down on a man and you see something that don't look right, bring your head back up and be like, hey, what is this? I mean, maybe not like that.

[Eden]

Yeah, don't say that.

[Mandy B]

But, okay, but like, just maybe, hey, you don't want anything. So maybe just be like, this isn't the right time. This isn't the right moment and have the conversation later. Ask for results. Ask for test results to feel comfortable with these people. And again, medication is there to help. But do you want to have to be. Do you want to have to take medication for the rest of your life with something else?

[Eden]

Stop thinking about his medicine, guys.

[Mandy B]

Stop thinking about you.

[Eden]

Think about what might have to be in yours if you don't take the right procedure. Because at the end, even though he might still be safe, it could be a preventative measure. You could find yourself in a really tough spot. Unfortunately.

[Mandy B]

Unfortunately, you don't want to do that. You do not want to do that. I'm telling you now.

[Eden]

Yeah.

[Mandy B]

So look out of his situation and really be selfish like Eden said, and only care about you whether you like him or not. Gerda's MO Dicks in the sea. There's more coochies in the sea. There's more. There are more options for you out here than to be with someone who a may not be forthright about his health or whatever else he's doing when.

[Eden]

You'Re not around that hot and cold shit. Is definitely a big red flag.

[Mandy B]

No, I agree.

[Eden]

A big red flag. The biggest red flag.

[Mandy B]

Yes or no you don't date men. N is hot and cold. No, that's a normal. When you're just dating someone or you're. Or you have a situationship or you're just having sex. Mind you, a lot of women often find it difficult to communicate what type of relationship they want from a man. So they're willing to just take whatever. Oh no, I'm talking about communicating that they want more.

[Eden]

No, I'm talking about them. But I'm talking about that he might be just putting his attention to other women.

[Mandy B]

Or.

[Eden]

I mean, I don't gotta say it.

[Mandy B]

You know what I mean?

[Eden]

It's in the cabinet.

[Mandy B]

But that's what I'm saying. His hot and cold could literally be also her realizing that she's not getting what she wants out of this relationship.

[Eden]

Interested in you.

[Mandy B]

I said that from the top.

[Eden]

Yeah, you're right. You did.

[Mandy B]

I said that from the top.

[Eden]

Might not be that interested in you.

[Mandy B]

And it might not be.

[Eden]

That sucks for you. But. And do just stick the safer route. Accept the hard truth with your safety.

[Mandy B]

Accept the hard truth with your safety. That's our advice to you, hun. Now make sure. If you'd like to send in a letter to you've got decisions, email us y' all. We need to help y' all. Email us decisionspodmail.com or if you'd like to submit a voicemail, send it on over to 973-932-0227 and we will help you out with your life, baby. We gonna help you out with your life. Anyways, thank y' all. If you are new here, I'm Mandy B. You can follow me everywhere and at full court pumps. And also check me every Tuesday on my other podcast, selective ignorance. But if you want to see my words onto paper and not really sounding like this, it sounds way more eloquent. Make sure you purchase no holds barred, a dual manifesto of sexual exploration and power. Available now for pre order wherever you purchase your books and get your tickets to come see us on tour. NHB tour.com cannot wait to meet you all. Cannot wait to hug you all. Cannot wait to feel you all Pause.

[Eden]

No, that didn't mean.

[Mandy B]

All right, all right. Anyways, thank you guys. It's another episode of you got decisions. See you guys next week.

[Eden]

Peace.

[Mandy B]

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[Eden]

I'm Rodney Williams. And I'm Travis Holloway. Welcome to the wealthbreak podcast, a real conversation about finance. Let's be honest, building wealth doesn't look the same for everyone.

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I feel like sometimes being broke is a cycle and that we might have.

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To revisit that and we're not stopping at success stories.

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What happens when it doesn't go right? How do you cope with it?

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Because wealth isn't just about money. It's about creating a life where you thrive and help others do the same. Listen to the Wealth Break podcast on the iHeartradio app.

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This is an iHeart podcast.