Wheezy (2:44)

Okay.

Mandy (2:44)

So you can do it for money and you can do it for your teeth. Like, you're going to fucking last. Like, don't think that you're not going to do it. You paying this money, you are going to finish. See the finish line. And I really am like, dictating it all back to love. Because I just have been meeting people that are happier in their situations, and I think all of them have that attitude. Anyone I know right now that's happy in love is happy about their. Was happy about their life, their circumstances, being alone. I want to say that a hundred times, being happy alone. And I don't mean being happy that you're single. I mean being happy when you're alone.

Wheezy (3:22)

That's all I've been talking about, bro.

Mandy (3:24)

It's a real thing.

Wheezy (3:25)

I'm glad. I'm just to a point where like, even, like the fun I've been having with my roster, my partners, my lovers, knowing last year I was crying or being triggered by even being touched by men, like, the trauma from getting over that last relationship. I'm in such a weird place right now. And I just wrote, I just actually made a post on it on Instagram and so many girls were like, girl, I'm in the same place. I want to read the three things that my mind went through where I'm at right now with, with love. Especially hearing you talk about manifesting love. Okay, I said, welcome to the slideshow of my current hypocritical takes you may hear on current or upcoming episodes. Number one, I'm single only because I find it really hard to even like someone. But also, I want a serious relationship. But I'm also having a lot of fun being single. Two, I really like my alone time. So while I'd love a boyfriend who is close because I want to cuddle during my free time, I also want someone long distance so I don't have to have them around all the time. Number three roster is currently full of people that I don't see myself being in a relationship with. Although I'm seeking a relationship, a serious relationship. However, since my roster is full, I'm not interested in dating or getting to meet anyone new.

Mandy (4:38)

And I was really, like, a crazy girl.

Wheezy (4:39)

No shit. So, yes, I. A serious relationship would be nice. I know. Like, we've even been talking, like, Triple D, that's going to be his nickname, y'. All. So Triple D, who was from my past, who I really liked, but he had a person at the time, he got single, then I got in my relationship, then he disappeared off the face of the earth. Just found him immediately. Bitch. The day we found him, he said, come tomorrow. Came two days later because I already had someone planned. So I went two days later and literally stayed with him for two days. And I was like, this is. We're like. We're just there. And immediately, even though I'm in my mind, like, ooh, I like this nigga. I'm like, primary. I'm immediately like, I would love for this to be maybe my primary, but not.

Mandy (5:23)

I don't want primary. Mandy.

Wheezy (5:24)

No, no, no.

Mandy (5:25)

No relationship talk. You know how every time you click on TikTok and it's like a bitch on there and she's like, your man is going to be intentional. He is going to come to you and say, I want. You're going to be this. He is going to let you know where you stand. He's going to, da, da, da, da. Let me tell you something. This is 2024. This is a new era of dating. Niggas just don't know until they fudgeing start to know.

Wheezy (5:47)

I mean, so every woman.

Mandy (5:48)

No, no, no.

Wheezy (5:49)

Every. Honest, though, that's what I'm not into right now. Like, to me, if I am, which is why I'm looking at everyone that I feel like, no, I'm not into waiting for someone to tell me I'm theirs or their.

Mandy (6:03)

I'm not talking about waiting, but let me just. Yeah, clarify. Clarify that, because when I say niggas don't know until they know, I also mean women, too. We kind of. Kind of go through these motions. For example, before you fuck somebody, it's this weird representative like, we've been talking about, right?

Wheezy (6:18)

Me.

Mandy (6:18)

Well, I believe that on the first few dates, I think most people. I think men are nicer, more consistent in communication and talking. I literally talk about this in the book. I said, before the pussy game, everything is all good, right? And then once they get the pussy, things start to, like, mellow out. Men are so focused on getting pussy, and the whole time we're so focused on making sure they're worth the pussy. I think it takes a little bit of time to figure out if someone's a fit. And I think that we put so much pressure on what that time looks like. For example, we are not dating around because we are so focused. We as a women are not dating around because we're so focused on making sure that guy is good, that guy's dating around and kind of still learning how to see what women, what woman out of those women are someone that's more special. You are saying you don't like that. That seems like a waiting game. But in reality, we all do that. I realized I was going out in most relationships I was in, I was happy with the person I was dating. But every time I went out, I kind of looked for something better. I don't know why I was always back there. I probably did that with everyone but scissors. And right now, everyone, even when obey I would look at go out and be like. And I kind of just compare them to my partner. And I really don't know why, but my brain was always looking. I just don't think that intentionality is exactly black and white. I think there's a point when intentionality starts. I think we all are dating. We're all on these apps. There's a lot of people. This is not fucking 1964 when you went out with one person and even if they were just okay, you pushed it forward. I think we've got to kind of like, like, really wait and see if this is a fit first. And there's so many rules that we're putting on top of these people and dropping them if they don't fit.

Wheezy (8:02)

So that's the thing, and that's where maybe and I don't know where my tribe is of women that feel the way I do. I'm me and my friends do not actually operate that way.

Mandy (8:10)

So I like all of dating around.

Wheezy (8:13)

No, no, no. You said women. We focus and we allow men to do that. No, like, my friends bitch every time we get on the phone. We like, bitch, I can't keep up. What's his name? Dallas.

Mandy (8:23)

That's what I'm telling you. That's what my friends and I do. I do not think that's the average woman. No, I think the average.

Wheezy (8:28)

One day you just got a little taste of the horrible decisions. Patreon. But why stop there Tap in for the full, uncut and way nastier episodes over on patreon. Go to patreon.com horrible decisions and unlock all the messy tea, wild stories and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's you've got Decision.

Mandy (8:52)

If you would like to have us answer your questions. If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible thruffle, guess what?

Wheezy (9:01)

You've got decisions. You've got decisions.

Mandy (9:07)

Welcome back, y'. All. We are here with another person's dilemma. Another person's. And just so you guys know, YGD are you got decisions. You're maybe listening to it on audio. If you would like to see the full video, it's available on Patreon, where horrible decisions is patreon.com backslash horrible decisions. And if you want to send us all of your drama and trauma, first priority goes to the Patreon DMS.

Wheezy (9:33)

Yeah.

Mandy (9:33)

Second priority goes to decisions gmail.com.

Wheezy (9:39)

That'S right. That's right. And you are listening to this just a week after we did our Summer Walker side chick breakdown. Also this week is our town hall, but really excited because, boy, is Summer Walker not the only person having a side chick dilemma. So the letter sent in this week is called side chick ship.

Mandy (10:07)

Oh, here we go.

Wheezy (10:10)

Mind you, we have upgraded at the end of 2025, going into 2026, buck a situationship. Side.

Mandy (10:18)

Side chick ship.

Wheezy (10:19)

Side chick ship is a new word. I love it. Damn you, girlies. All right.

Mandy (10:24)

Are you happy, sister?

Wheezy (10:26)

By the way, I love it because I saw a Patreon comment wey. Where someone was like, are y' all new here? I feel like they be answering the same questions all these years. They didn't answer this before I saw that too. It's like they don't care.

Mandy (10:41)

They need they situation.

Wheezy (10:43)

And this is giving. You just want to vent to us. But, girl, we gonna tell you about yourself. Because literally the first line is, ladies, I feel like I know the answer, but I'm just seeking confirmation. That is how the email starts. Ladies, y' all bitches know when y' all doing some bullshit. But it's okay, bitch, if you know the answer.

Mandy (11:02)

Never mind.

Wheezy (11:03)

Weezy and I are here to confirm your thoughts. Okay, here we go. I met this man on the BLK dating app. No full disclosure up front. He told me he was married and I didn't care at the time. I had just moved back to my hometown to a new management position and was dating two other guys. I didn't foresee any problems as he was just a little something to get my feet wet. Okay, fast forward two years later, he applied pressure and edged out the other guys, and we are stupidly locked in. This is not a conventional side chick relationship. However, we be outside. I've met his family, including the mama and the sister.

Mandy (11:53)

Oh, you see how she said that?

Wheezy (11:55)

I hang with them on the weekends when we're in town. We go out of town at least two weekends a month. He spends the night every weekend. Weekend starts on Thursday and at least two days out of the week. Birthdays, holidays, we're always together.

Mandy (12:15)

Okay.

Wheezy (12:16)

He pays bills and even bought me a car. Burying the lead here. But the wife knows about me. She found out about me three months into quote unquote us. Hell, we're on a three way text group.

Mandy (12:34)

My bad.

Wheezy (12:36)

We're on a three way. Wow. Next trip. When she can't find. When she can't find him, she texts us. The problem. The longer this relationship lasts, I am being engulfed in guilt if someone posed this scenario to me. As an outsider, I take the position of the married individual owes the fidelity. I'm not in charge of another woman's happy. Sorry.

Mandy (13:04)

Married individual.

Wheezy (13:05)

Oh, oh, oh.

Mandy (13:05)

So, like, don't cheat on me.

Wheezy (13:07)

So, like, the married individual is who owes you to be faithful to. Not me. She said I'm not in charge of another woman's happiness. That being said, I never go out of my way to hurt another black woman. And the thing is, she's not that smart. I have never confirmed.

Mandy (13:26)

Where's that lady girl?

Wheezy (13:28)

She says I have never confirmed that I'm sleeping with her husband. I usually just let her scream it into the void. She found me on Facebook. We're both in our 40s, and she started calling me out. Had to block her. I could really destroy her world. But why would I? She's done nothing to me.

Mandy (13:45)

You kind of sound like a bitch already, buddy.

Wheezy (13:47)

Right?

Mandy (13:48)

I don't want to destroy anybody, but she's dumb.

Wheezy (13:52)

I've also never asked him to get a divorce. I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper. And for that matter, a ring on my finger. Been married. Got the T shirt. No thanks. It seems like the only way out of my guilt is he gotta leave her or me. Ooh, not him. Not she. Putting it in his hands. But she did feel guilt since she knows about him and hasn't kicked him out. Sorry. So long, but sorry.

Mandy (14:23)

Wait, should I even.

Wheezy (14:24)

Oh, she's asking, should she even be guilty since she knows what he's doing and hasn't kicked him out. So what's crazy is, girl, you have finessed your mind to be like, well, he got to choose between me and her. But also, the wife also hasn't kicked him out, so why do I feel bad at all? It's up to them to figure out what they got going on. That's how I read that. And look. Oh, y', all, if. If you are not on the Patreon, Weezy just rolled her eyes into abyss. Go ahead, girl.

Mandy (15:01)

Are you not embarrassed?

Wheezy (15:03)

No, she's not. Because she says she'd been married. Got the T shirt. No, thanks. She don't want to marry this man. But she's also, like, the thing, though. Guilty. Because I know I'm absolutely, like, making this black woman unhappy because she's blocked me on Facebook. She's birated me on Facebook, whatever. But also, she's like, either he got to leave you or he gotta leave me. Or, bitch, if you really that upset, you gotta leave him. But basically, she's saying she gonna be around until y' all decide what y' all finna do. This is the thing I don't like. Okay. Why you say okay?

Mandy (15:44)

This the thing I don't like. I understand. You may not want a nigga, like, or you may not want the marriage.

Wheezy (15:52)

A husband. She doesn't want a husband.

Mandy (15:54)

And I actually can believe it. But you are semi enjoying whatever perks of the relationship you're getting because you gloated a little bit about meeting the family and being on the group chat. And to me, okay, I could tell you this from experience. My homegirls that really don't want a nigga wouldn't even tell me all that. Like, I have homegirls that's fucking with married that just be like, well, you know, he don't really fucking with her. And they be trying to put the wife down kind of like you did. And the other ones are like, girl, I hope she keep him happy, because I don't want that nigga coming over here. I want my space. I want him when I want him, and that's it. You don't give that sister. You don't.

Wheezy (16:33)

Well, that's the thing. She absolutely wants a man, which she has. She has the relationship, and she's admitting that she doesn't want the ring.

Mandy (16:41)

But she would have a headache.

Wheezy (16:43)

She's content. No, she feels like she is. There's a level of guilt because she knows this other woman is now unhappy. Like, yeah, I'm saying, like, relationship, though. Like, if she's. But that's fucked up. What part is fucked up? And I'm only asking you because me, as a woman who doesn't want marriage as my end goal either, if she's saying, I get him every other weekend, so I get my space, but I also get holidays with him, I get birthdays with him, he pays my bills, I'm not going to lie. Like, what is making you feel like she's not being honest? Because she actually seems like she's getting everything she wants out of this relationship and she don't want the. That another person is being hurt for this relationship that she's in and you're.

Mandy (17:32)

Going to continue to feel guilty. We can't just, like, pretend that you aren't a part of the cycle of a marriage being broken up just because you don't want somebody. So, like, admittedly so, the only people I think that are exempt from this are sex workers. Because I only want to have a job to do. You met a on a dating app.

Wheezy (17:51)

Who was misleading that you knew was married out the gate.

Mandy (17:54)

That you knew was married out the gate. He was misled. Like, you already know you're jumping into mess. To me, sex workers are the only ones that have a true detachment, which is why I don't think they ever should be someone who's held accountable for the cheating. They provided a service. It's not their business. The marital status, you're, like, really engaging. Meeting family, doing all this stuff. So, yes, you know, you're hurting this person. So the reason I was like, I don't really believe her is because, like, but you're doing all this extra stuff. You know what I'm saying? You're growing more intimate feelings. Like, you're. You're like, this is already the feelings. Like, you're growing in deeper relationships. Like, no, you're not just doing it for cash because you enjoy doing all this other stuff with him. You, like, want the company. You want him to stay over. You even mentioned Thursday to this day, like, no to.

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Wheezy (19:00)

Run a business and not thinking about radio. Think again. Cause more people are listening to the radio and iHeart today than they were 20 years ago. And only iHeart broadcast radio connects with more Americans than TV, digital, social, any other media, even twice as many teens than TikTok. And that reach means everything. Just think about the universal marketing forum. The number of consumers who hear your message times the response rate equals the results. Now let's get those results growing for your business. Radio's here now more than ever. And iheart's leading the way. Think radio can help your business. Think iheart streaming, podcasting and radio where the reach is real. Let us show you@iheartadvertising.com that's iheartadvertising.com or call 844-844 iheart one more time. Just call 844-844, iheart and get radio working for you. Okay, devil's advocate here. Because even when we talked about Summer Walker, we talked a lot about Summer, we talked a lot about Tori, very little about Rich. And we're doing it here. If women are willing to stay, if women are willing to feel guilty, if women are willing to feel upset but stay to. What responsibility does the man have in this at all? Because it seems like if there's a group chat between them again, everyone's. There's honesty somewhere.

Mandy (20:39)

Group chat between who?

Wheezy (20:40)

There's a group chat. She said no, she said that there's a group chat between the wife and her. She said the wife knows about me. She found out about me three months into us hell, we're on a three way text group. And when she can't find him, she texts me. And so it's weird because you're waiting for him or her to leave. I don't know why. Or for her to break up with him because it's a mess.

Mandy (21:13)

That's why she needs someone. It's not a situation that works. Right. That's why I'm saying like I believe she kind of wants him because why does the ending. What was her last question?

Wheezy (21:24)

So I think, I think you're. I think you're right too. And I think that that's the reality of it. Women want the one up. So she said, I've never asked him to get a divorce. I don't give a fuck about a divorce paper. She said, it seems the only way out of my guilt is either he gotta leave her or me. But should I even feel guilt since she knows about what he's doing and hasn't kicked him out?

Mandy (21:46)

Yes, you feel guilt because you're participating in the cycle. Now, are you the real issue? No, you're not the real issue.

Wheezy (21:53)

It is the real issue. Let's talk. What is the real issue here?

Mandy (21:56)

Oh, he made a promise to a woman to stay faithful, to do whatever, to be there for him, whatever their loyalty looks like. And he disobeyed, dishonored it, whatever, clearly. But you also can't. I just don't think that the mistress, so to speak. Like, I don't know. I know what I'm doing when I participate in fuck shit. So it's like, is a drug dealer really wrong? Because somebody gonna buy the crack anyway. Like, yeah, you still selling it, bitch. You're still fucking with the nigga. If you really, you know, yeah, you should feel the guilt. So it's just. To me, it's like, does it. Is he worth it or not? Is your clear conscious worth it or not worth it or not? And I also have a really big feeling about shit starting fud up and ending fud up, like, my most successful.

Wheezy (22:39)

By the way, that's what they were saying about Tory. So Tori allegedly was the mistress with Rich, the kid when he was with his former. Khloe Kardashian with Tristan, Chloe Kardashian with Tristan.

Mandy (22:50)

And it's really just like, your relationship started with this, like, bad juju on it. And. And when I say start up, it may not even be in a cheating sense. Like, there's this thing in no holds barred, not to sell the book, but to sell the book. And in no holds barred, I was like, oh, when I found love, I was coming from a fully healed place. He was coming from a fully healed place. If my relationship ended for whatever reason, it was still successful because we had something blossoming. Right. I could say the same with scissors. When we're in a place of feeling angry or insecure or, you know, feeling down about ourselves or missing an ex that's starting something up. This isn't a clean slate for these two people. That ex wife will always come around if they end. If he break up with that ex wife today. I mean, with the wife today, babe. And I'm talking to you and y' all moving together and everything. Cool. One day he gonna stay late to a bar with his friends, and you're gonna be like, that's that you used.

Wheezy (23:43)

To do to Michelle.

Mandy (23:43)

You ain't gonna do it to me. She'll never die. She'll never die. So.

Wheezy (23:48)

But also, you both know the type of man that y' all are dealing with at this point.

Mandy (23:51)

Unless it's suing for money or sex, which is not. It's feeling.

Wheezy (23:55)

I also hate, too, that. And that's the Thing, though. And this is the reality that we have to deal with, right? She said he gotta leave.

Mandy (24:05)

Her or me, Y' all both want to get chose.

Wheezy (24:09)

I feel like he's where. I feel like the person who wrote this letter may genuinely be fulfilled in what they're getting from this relationship with this guy. The wife isn't, however, you know, who's probably super fulfilled with what's happening. He is. So, no. Why would he feel like he has to choose either of you when both of you women are choosing to stay?

Mandy (24:32)

Because he got his face and he eating it and eating it too.

Wheezy (24:37)

A man ain't never gonna leave the side chick that's fine with being the side chick, or the wife fine with knowing that he got a side chick.

Mandy (24:43)

I was listening to my homeboys have a conversation one time. There was a girl.

Wheezy (24:48)

Ah, I just hit my knee.

Mandy (24:50)

Everybody okay?

Wheezy (24:51)

Oh, my God.

Mandy (24:52)

There was a girl in la. We were all out and she was getting super emotional in this club. And I was like, holy. And you, I don't know if you ever had this happen to you where like your homeboy be doing some to the girlfriend and the be calling you crying. I felt like that was me. We all having a good time. The girls in the corner, like, he just does this to me, wheezy and da, da, da. And I was like, oh, my God.

Wheezy (25:11)

So.

Mandy (25:12)

So we're all out, me three guys, we end up at the fucking breakfast after. And I'm like, can I ask y' all a serious question? Is it that the pussy is so good? Is it that it's a power trip? Why do you keep fucking with these bitches that you, you know, you're making sad? Like, don't make feel sad in bed. Like, don't you really be, like, at some point, no.

Wheezy (25:38)

Apparently it's not until you're 42. Like the game where you lose sleep over wasting women's time. Like, yeah.

Mandy (25:45)

And I would say these dudes were around 30s and 40s. Okay, no 20 year old, but one of them said, and I'm not quoting exactly, but he was like, I'm almost so used to just my whole life, high school, college, adult after marriage, just always kind of in my dating life. Even if I say I don't want a girlfriend or wife right now. Always needing and wanting more from me. I'm always used to a girl making me feel like I don't give her enough. So whether she's just complaining in text about my time or crying in my face, all of it balances out to the same. And I'm never gonna leave a bitch till she leave me. Because I feel like it's almost a woman's job to complain to me. I feel like there's always gonna be something that they want, and there's never a moment where I'm looking at tears and thinking, oh, I'm the accountable one for this. Just because you want a man and I can't give it to you if you're still here, you must like something I'm doing. And all of them niggas was like, yeah, pretty much. Ooh.

Wheezy (26:52)

And I think that that goes into what I brought up in the book, too. Like, in terms of self worth or getting what you want out of a man, if. If. If a man is not giving you what you want, it's. It's. It's up to you to leave and go find somebody who will. There will always be somebody who will. Yo, even with the Janae Aiko Big Sean thing, girl, you've been begging to get married for years. If he wasn't willing to give it to you, you should have left him years ago, bro.

Mandy (27:17)

My nigga said to me the other day, I sent him this girl's hair I liked. He's like, oh, shit, I fucked her. It's his influencer.

Wheezy (27:23)

I was like, she's cute.

Mandy (27:24)

I was like, damn, how you fucked that up? And he was like, she wanted something more consistent, and I couldn't do it. So she had self worth. I was dying, bro.

Wheezy (27:32)

I'm sorry.

Mandy (27:32)

I was going to bitch at me. He's like, they was telling me back in the day how text him enough, and I don't do this. He's like, some of the girls never leave.

Wheezy (27:38)

Some of them did.

Mandy (27:39)

And the ones that leave, he said, any girl that it ended with real quick, they was like, I ain't putting up with your shit. Yeah, right. When you're a single nigga and you got girls, it's like, I'm good, I'm good. He's like, yo, let's be very clear.

Wheezy (27:51)

I was on the phone with this football player. This football nigga been on my. Been on my goddamn line for about years, but he not that cute to me. But I was like, okay, let me give him a little try. But, like, last year, we tried to talk, and he gave a little attitude, and I ain't got time for that. So he came back on my line recently saying he want to see me or whatever. So we on FaceTime and we get into, like, a spat about, bitch, the government shut down oh, God. But it was like so dumb that. Mind you, mind you, mind you. Let me tell you real quick too, how he just don't listen. So we on the phone and I was like, I don't want no pen pal. He heard pimp. I said, nigga, I didn't even say pimp. But he got so irate cause he don't even know how to listen right. So then he goes talking about the government shutdown. I correct him, it's something that he said wrong. And girl, he got into this whole, man, it ain't even that serious. Ain't even that serious. Bitch, I clocked, I clicked on him and he started texting. Bitch, I blocked him immediately. I was like, bro, I don't want no weird ass nigga who don't know how to communicate. You already don't know like. And literally I was like, bro, I don't care that you make millions that you in the NFL. I'm not pressed. What I know I'm not going to put up with is a nigga who doesn't know how to communicate effectively and a nigga who got an attitude. And so I'm gay block, not interested. So I think, yeah, when you as a woman get to a point where you not going to put up with bullshit and you deserve or you feel like you deserve to be with a nigga who going to show up how you want them to show up, then you gonna do it.

Mandy (29:26)

Otherwise, why would I stick around? If you're not feeding, like, if a.

Wheezy (29:31)

Man not giving you what you want and I do, as long as y' all gonna take them crumbs, a motherfucker gonna feed you crumbs.

Mandy (29:40)

And I agree with the fact that like, women should absolutely be telling a man, this is what I won't put up with and leaving right after. If you stay, you can't bitch to a nigga and be like, I don't do this, I don't do that. And you never go, girl, you at least got a fake go, you better do something, bruh.

Wheezy (30:07)

Don't fake go, fake go. That don't once you fake go and come back enough.

Mandy (30:11)

Yeah, you motherfucker really just got on some on some T shit.

Wheezy (30:15)

And by the way, a motherfucker will tell you to your face, you ain't going nowhere. Oh, a man loves to tell a.

Mandy (30:24)

Oh, when Summer Walker said to the.

Wheezy (30:26)

Story a few weeks ago, you got some self worth. A man will humble you real quick.

Mandy (30:31)

And be like, you never gonna leave anyway.

Wheezy (30:34)

You never gonna.

Mandy (30:35)

I was like, and you know it, you know. Anyway y', all, if you want us to berade you next, I'm just go to decisionspot gmail.com and just fill us your tea. Mandy also has Mandy on the hotline. We can respond to your voicemails in.

Wheezy (30:54)

And yeah, thank y' all so much. See y' all next hump day.

Mandy (31:00)

Bye everybody.

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Mandy (31:44)

Look, I'm standing out front of a.m. p.m. Right now and well, you're sweet and all, but I found something more fulfilling, even kind of cheesy. But I like it. Sure, you met some of my dietary needs, but they've just got it all. So farewell.

Sponsor/Ad Voice (31:57)

Oatmeal.

Mandy (31:58)

So long, you strange soggy.

Wheezy (32:00)

Break up with bland breakfast and taste AM PM's bacon, egg and cheese biscuit made with K tree eggs, smoked bacon and melty cheese on a buttery biscuit.

Mandy (32:08)

AM PM Too much Good stuff.

Wheezy (32:11)

This is an I heart podcast. Guaranteed human.