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This pendulum swing effect is not actual pattern opposition is not actual healing. Pendulum swinging to some sort of wild radical opposite that wasn't intentionally calculated and that wasn't actually embodied in the right steps is just another form of dysfunction and imbalance. We can't be living our lives in these wild radical opposites. We need to be able to find ways to create balance and structure and understanding and empathy and. And when you look at what happens to us both politically, socially, in our communities, with religion, this very rarely happens. Your brain is wired for deception. But here's the truth. Patterns can be broken. The code can be rewritten. Once you hear the truth, you can't go back. So the only question is, are you ready to listen? We are back for part two. What does healing and healed look like? Last week we were taking it from more a micro perspective of what that looks like in an individual's life. Today, I want to expand the way that we're thinking of it and think about it out in a macro sort of container. We always hear that the micro mimics the macro and vice versa, right? This is a repetition of structures. And if you think about it again from perhaps more of a spiritual or quantum mechanics sort of perspective, there's a creative blueprint of something, right? There's whether you want to call that the thumbprint of God, the thumbprint of the Creator, I will leave that to you. But there tend to be these structures that repeat no matter how big or small a system is. This can be seen in things like the toric field, the Fibonacci sequence, etc. So. So when we're thinking about how something looks on the scale of one person, we can kind of keep that same structure and keep expanding it out bigger and bigger and bigger. My family unit, my community, my country, the world, right? Any larger group, you can kind of expand that same rule set or framework. As we were talking about the signs of healing and the signs of somebody actually really embodying that work and not kind of like 10 steps forward, 10 steps back, but consistent, marked progress, where the ratio of doing it right to doing it wrong is actually. Is going in their favor, right? So an example would be if somebody's in the healing process and they haven't really fully embodied the work, which I know sounds so pretentious, whatever the work is that you're doing, there's so many different ways to do this. Obviously, break method is one of those ways. When you've fully integrated and embodied the break work, hypothetically, if you look again year over year over year. How often you make mistakes or act out should be less and less and less so. Right. You should have more peace, more empathy, more understanding as things go. That doesn't mean that if you're not doing it 100% of the time, you're a fraud. That was a very raw summary of last week's episode. The same is going to be true when we're looking at the macro scale. But one thing that we now have to bring into the mix, because now we're starting to talk about larger groups and society or even groups of religion. Now we kind of go back to a previous episode on normalization, because now we also have to factor in this sort of deviation normalization spiral, where naturally, once we go into larger groups, there tends to be this sort of pendulum swing effect. There's healing that takes place. And if not done correctly, instead of it being a calculated middle, people can pendulum swing too far to the side. So to make it hit home on a micro scale, somebody might come into work like break really angry and rageful. And then instead of actually finding the true pattern opposition in the middle, where they're able to spend, speak up authoritatively, but do it in early stages and do it with an openness and curiosity so that the other person can engage and potentially collaborate with them or help them see another perspective so that they can move forward together. Maybe now the pendulum swung too far to the other side, where now they're just staying completely quiet and shut down, implicating and people pleasing when that actually wasn't the pattern opposition, that was a pendulum swing. So to take that sort of micro and now magnify it out to the macro scale, this can happen with swings from extreme conservatism or fundamentalism back to progressivism. And this has happened in our world since the dawn of time. We swing and a miss, we go too far. People start to, little by little, ask more questions, start to adopt more socially deviant behaviors. Little by little, you descend into chaos. And then once you've descended into chaos with something like something that has been pushed more liberal or progressive typically, then you look over time and you realize that you've pushed it so far that now people are seeing that the only way out is to pendulum swing the other way into hardcore conservatism and fundamentalism. So you can see evidence of this over the millennia. You can also frankly see evidence of this in the United States if you just look back at the last 50 or 60 years. In essence, this pendulum swing effect is not actual pattern opposition. Pendulum swinging is not actual Healing and pendulum swinging will just get you to another version of toxicity. In other words, pendulum swinging to some sort of wild radical opposite that wasn't intentionally calculated and that wasn't actually embodied in the right stages. Steps is just another form of dysfunction and imbalance also not healed. We can't be living our lives in these sort of wild radical opposites. We need to be able to find ways to create balance and structure and understanding and empathy. And when you look at what happens to us both politically, socially, in our communities with religion, this very rarely happens. And perhaps in smaller chunks of the macro, it may like maybe a church, for example, starts to within their church body, ask some harder questions and then realize, maybe we aren't as aligned with maybe an organization that we were originally affiliated with. So that might be those initial questions start to kind of push the paradigm or push the edges, and then they realize, oh well, maybe we're not as aligned with this macro organization that we originally aligned with. That could be an example of natural deviation where people are just as they're grabbing the breadcrumbs and they're seeing things differently, they're asking different questions which are leading them to maybe piece things together differently. That is very different than, for example, what we've been experiencing socially, politically over the last 10 years. What we've been experiencing socially and politically is something that does appear to be much more of an organized PR campaign style sort of effort to influence our thinking so that we essentially turn on our own potentially moral compass, our compass of humanity and so on, that is different than natural deviation. Let's take it back to the micro because I think again, it's important for us. Sometimes it's easier for us to understand things in the context of our individual life. And then once we understand that, then we can again reflect this back into the macro scale. Let's say if you look at 20 year old version of yourself versus 30 year old version of yourself, arguably, even if you did no mental health work, you took no programs, no courses, you likely learned some lessons about yourself through trial and error. Hopefully, maybe not hopefully though, some of us are naturally able to see where some of the behaviors that we have are not quite what we want and are not quite what we are understanding will get us to the goals that we want. So we may start to adopt some of our own subtle shifts. Maybe we learn, oh well, when I say it like this, they respond better. So we kind of adopt the sort of like, you know, intentional opposite to get ourselves better results. That would be an example of natural Deviation where we realize like, huh, this thing that my parents taught me or that I was told to put on a pedestal of always being people pleasing and always treating my elders with respect. What if that's not always true? As I'm an adult now, I'm realizing adults don't always know better than me and I do actually need to ask some questions. So that would be on the micro level, an example of this more natural deviation and naturally occurring through experience and questions, arriving at some bigger questions. And as we know, just like mo money, mo problems, mo questions and then mo questions again, right? It is the paradoxical nature of self understanding. The more we know about ourselves, the less we realize we'll ever really know about ourselves. Because really, once you descend into that process, nothing's very concrete. Which I say from the perspective of somebody who obviously maps data as it pertains to brain patterns. So the data is something that can be mapped. The data is concrete. But how we experience in terms of emotion, feeling, sensation, somatic, how we experience that data that gets complicated and gray, just like memory, for example, is incredibly gray. You can be encoded with a memory of something that didn't actually happen to you in objective reality. How is that possible? It's possible because we are experiencing something through our sensory experience and our sensory experience itself is not concrete. Whatever we experience, even if that doesn't match the objective record, will be encoded into our body as if it was real. This is why, for example, looking at little kids, I know we're coming into like scary movie season. Good lord, please don't do this to your kids. Don't do it. When your kids are watching a movie, it doesn't matter that it's not actually their life. When you're experiencing it from a sensory perspective, like watching the movie, hearing the sounds, people are jumping, right? Your nervous system is firing. It can't tell the difference between life and movie. So you're effectively encoding those experiences into your child. And I've had so many adult clients whose lives were virtually ruined all the way into adulthood by parents making bad choices and what movies their kids were allowed to watch. So I know I always throw my husband under the bus here. I'm pretty sure my husband like slept at the end of his parents bed for a really long time because he watched the movie Scream. So if it can happen to my super tough masculine husband, it can happen to your kids. So be careful because that process of memory encoding again is very gray, very slippery, and your body can't really discern the difference. Back to this idea of our self understanding being paradoxical in nature, because the more information we seek, the more we realize we know nothing at all. Concretely. That can be a really freeing experience. And it's something that often comes as a byproduct of healing and all the way into that space that we've been trying to define as a healed place. A healed place is a place where you're maybe you're able to kind of back off on things that maybe previously you would argue with somebody about until you're blue in the face. And if somebody is saying something about you that's not true and that is based on assumption and it's not taking these other things into consideration, maybe that's a time and space where when you get to that place of being healed, you pick your battles and you're like, I, I can have empathy for this person who's struggling and in deception and without fighting with them, right? Instead of like sitting there and angrily trying to prove my point, I can just, you know, say my piece and then also be like, but also like, if this feels real for them, then this feels real for them. And I understand, because I've done a lot of work, that this whole process is very gray and not concrete. And some people might not see that that is a positive sign where you don't feel the need to defend and fight the whole time. You can actually sit there and be like, huh, Okay, I disagree. But also, I get it. You're entitled to your opinion. That is empathy and collaboration, right? Instead of hearing somebody side and immediately just being like, angry, like, how could you think that? Why would you think that you're wrong? When you're acting that way, it's usually a strong sign that somebody is not actively engaged in that healing work. Because even if somebody is saying something that is awful and wrong, I've literally had groups of people try to convince other people that I'm a clone. Which, guys, side note, I love a good conspiracy theory. I do. And if you look on the Internet, it doesn't take that long to find those little clips of people being like, you know who the real clones are. You can just look at their hands. This has now become an inside joke with me and the people that work for me because I'm like, well, now I actually have a way to prove that I'm not a clone. Like, as if I really had to prove that. But guys, look at these. These stubby little, stubby little sausages. These are not the hands of clone, my friends. So carry on. Do you you can do what you want. I don't think it helps the thing that you think you're doing. But I got these little short stubbies. They're certainly not clone hands. But my point is, when you can watch people kind of, like, rise up around you and try to create these sort of false narratives and then kind of like, get everyone on the bandwagon and be like, by the way, I think she's a clone. If you can honestly watch that, look at that, and not even feel your heart rate elevate and instead just be like, wow, I actually really feel for them. That would be a really challenging place to be operating in. And surely when they present that publicly, people will know the truth. And I can actually sit with that and be okay with that. That is a positive sign of healing. Instead of having to get on my phone and be like, well, I'm going to explain, expose you, like, come on, that's not what we do when we're healed. You pick your battles. And if you're coming from, again, a biblical paradigm, which I certainly am, that's a battle that you let God fight for you. That's not something I don't have to do anything about that. But again, that's another positive sign of healing. When you know when to speak. And when you're like, that's not worth it. That's not worth anybody's time, and it's not gonna do anything. Some people just have to go through their process, and you take ownership for what you can. And the things that aren't honest that you don't want to take responsibility for because you feel convicted about them, then you rest on that, and then you kind of move on with your life. So now let's take that experience that I just shared, and let's magnify it out to a macro level. Think about a group, for example, that may think that they have a lot in common with each other. A lot of times one group is pointing fingers at another group and they're kind of warring back and forth. It's fairly common that the group that doesn't, like, take to the airwaves and try to radically defend themselves and create all this conflict, they end up looking more healed. And as a result, people are like, huh? They're really trying to push your buttons, and you're kind of not fighting fire with fire. So, like, maybe there's something here. Can I tell you that one of the hallmark signs of true healing, and in fact, in my opinion, being in a healed state is being able to show mercy Mm, Yeah. Knowing that you have the power to say the thing or do the thing to maybe air quotes, defend yourself, but choosing to pull back because it's not your battle to fight, or because you don't want to literally, like, destroy somebody's life or embarrass them, like, actually try to protect their dignity. This is something that I have tried to lean on in my life as much as humanly possible. Not, like, take to the airwaves and try to embarrass somebody. That is. I don't think that is the sign of a healed person. A healed person doesn't say, oh, my God, I have to expose this person. Nope, I'm sorry, but that's not a healed state. A healed state is having a conversation. A healed state is actually maybe even asking yourself questions and showing up to it with curiosity. Like, am I assuming. Am I letting other people convince me that I'm seeing something that maybe, like, the actual factual record doesn't really check out with? Am I taking these three times and making them seem like something really big and like this profound pattern? Those are all the things that you really want to watch out for. Because that is how the world works. That is how these groups or this sort of, like, macro experience can try to influence your thinking. This is bandwagon material. This is why if I even look back at something that happened to me like, seven years ago, I can't even believe it was seven years ago. For the one to two year period following this thing, most weeks, somebody would reach out to me on DMs and just say, busy. I'm mortified. Will you ever forgive me? I don't even know why I said that. I know that stuff wasn't true. And I'd just be like, yeah, no sweat. Thanks for being honest. I appreciate it. It means a lot to me. They're like, you know, how did you stay so calm? Like, you never once did X, Y and Z. Because it's not a battle worth fighting, you guys. A state of healing and being healed is, again, knowing when to pick your battles. And some battles are absolutely not worth fighting. Battles that are worth fighting are typically things that have more to do with, like, moral conviction or on the topic that I said we were gonna bring back today for your kids. I am much more likely to be a assertive mama bear when it comes to my kids than I am about defending myself personally. That, to me, is also a sign of healing in a world right now. Especially that kind of. You know, in some states, there's this literal push to basically think of kids as like not your property. And not that children are property, but they certainly shouldn't be property of the government or the state. If they were anyone's property, they should be yours. But only in so much as you are their designated caretaker who should have their best interests at heart. But in some states right now there's question about this. Do kids belong to you or do kids belong to the state? They sounds like a dystopian sort of like communist socialist hell conversation. I can't even believe that we're having this conversation in the United States in 2025. But we are. Your brain isn't broken, it's running. An old code break method is a system that maps your neurological patterns, decodes your emotional distortions and rewires your behavior fast. No talk therapy spiral, no getting stuck in your feelings, just logic based rewiring in 20, 20 weeks or less. Head to BreakMethod.com and see what your brain is really up to. If you think of your kids as I don't know why my brain was just going with the word Kuleana. I have lived in Hawaii for too long. They're your duty and responsibility, right? That is something that was entrusted to you until. Or if somebody takes that away from you, that is your job. So some people have been able to kind of transcend their own patterns and their own faults because of their kids. So it's kind of imagine a world where maybe, you know, in my relationship I'm like this and in my career I'm like this. But all of a sudden, like if you cross me with my kids, I'm a mama bear. Some people can transcend their pattern just because of the maternal instinct of having to protect your kids. This is something that as we're looking at these sort of macro patterns over time, I think is a really interest topic to look at because parenting patterns have shifted drastically over the last, you know, forever. But certainly if we look at like millennial kids to now, there are a lot of shifts. There are significant data streams supporting that kids are becoming significantly less resilient. Parenting styles in how they pendulum swung became more enabling. This new generation was raised on technology where some of us millennials are the last generation that weren't completely raised with technology. I know when I was in like fifth grade, we had AOL chats where you'd come home from school and you'd be excited to talk to your friends, as if you weren't just talking to them all day at school. And you know, I had a Cell phone where you had to like pull up the cord and it was this big. In high school, I had a pager, right? So we had kind of low tech tech. It's the difference scenario. And we had those phones. I just immediately caught all these visuals. Remember the phones that were see through, where you could see all the circuits? Oh, I couldn't wait to get one of those. I loved it. You had like a real phone with a real cord. You had to wait for people to call you. This idea that you have to kind of be patient and wait for communication. I mean, let's take it back long before that. Let's go 40s and 50s. When you were in love with someone, you sometimes had to wait for a letter. Okay, so now it's like this instant. Like, I text him. Why isn't he texting me back? Whereas your granny's generation, it was like sending this letter. You had to wait in the mail, check the mailbox every single day. Then you get the letter and you're like, oh, my God, he does love me. And then you write this, you know, sweet letter back because you guys are courting each other. That's gone. That is completely obliterated. And with that, our ability to be patient, our ability to build really secure attention or secure attachments, our ability to be resilient, to get through those moments of waiting, all of that's out the window. And you can see that evidenced in this pendulum swing of our parenting behaviors. Everything is like, but, mommy, I want it now. I want this snack. I want that snack. Back in the 80s and 90s, it was like, there is no food. Go figure out something in the neighborhood. Eat the berries off the bushes, drink from the hoes. You'll be fine. What, are you gonna starve? That was how many of us were raised. And I mean, I was raised in a lot of wealth on the east coast. And still, to some extent, it was still tough like that, even though obviously there was access. It wasn't like I grew up in poverty, but there was a toughness and grit that was still ever present in parenting. On the whole, that is completely gone. And now you can see articles online and through even traditional outlets that are talking about what new parents are starting to do now. And I saw this thing about fafo parenting f around and find out parenting where essentially there's been again, this pendulum swing from attachment parenting to now fafo parenting. I think my point here is, again, those are pendulum swings that don't quite get this sort of thread of healing through correctly without creating Another scenario where we're going to have to pendulum swing again. If we're constantly overcorrecting, overcorrecting, overcorrecting, then we'll just keep doing this forever. That's what makes the pendulum keep going back and forth, right? It generates its own momentum. It will never stop. True healing will make it stop, but it's very strategic. You do have to factor in data. You do have to move beyond your feelings. You do have to hold yourself accountable, you do have to give yourself some tough love. But you also need to simultaneously find empathy and understanding for people that are hurting you. You have to be able to see big picture for what you want in the world and be willing to babysit these incremental steps that might be really uncomfortable. That's that resilience piece and how it comes in. And if you're not taught to do these things as a child, it's hard when you're an adult. I see so many clients who end up on the right side of the brain pattern spectrum because of the way that they were parented and becoming patient and resilient and knowing when to step in and when to hold back and how to choose peace, all of that stuff is incredibly challenging. The people that tend to have an easier time doing some of that work are the people that are maybe a little too tough, a little too hyper independent, a little too logical. Where then both sides end up kind of being at war with each other. Because one side is like, but my feelings and emotions and I'm hurt, then the other side is like, that stuff's not real. Why are you causing so many problems? This is why I'm going back to this idea that for our society, for our family, for any of our group and for ourselves, healing is the strategic, calculated middle way. It's not on the far left, it's not on the far right. It's not in these pendulum swings that are not intentional. It's in very intentionally understanding. Where do we want to go as a society? Who do we want to be? What do we believe that we're capable of fundamentally? So if I take that now to a micro scale, I could, you know, come into work like break, let's say, as a 25 year old. And I could sit there and say, you know, I told you guys all about my anxiety and stuff the last last week's session. I want to do this and I want to do that, but I can't do this because of that and I can't do this because of that. Then it's Like, I've decided on this destiny point where I'm like, I want to get there. And because I want to get there, I can now reverse engineer and see all of my thoughts and behaviors and emotional experiences that are preventing me from ever getting to that location. Now I have essentially a prescription for where I need to very strategically pattern oppose to get to that place. Let's take it back to the macro. One of the biggest issues that I think we are having today as a society is we don't agree on where we want to go. We don't agree on who we think we are. We don't even agree on what we think our history was. These are all issues that we cannot get around. So I propose in keeping pulling this thread of what does healing and healed look like for us as a human civilization, as a country, as a group of people? We have to be able to have some difficult conversations and unite around who we really are. Right? Which I know there's a lot of distortion, there's a lot of deception, and there's not really any consensus. I mean, there are consensus around. I'm going to call them normies. But I think outside of the people that just immediately believe the mainstream media without any question, there's actually a lot of conflict and division in the group of everybody else. And I think that if we can get past that division and that conflict and actually truly ask these questions in an organized format and get really clear on who we are and who we are not just as people, but as spiritual beings, as beings that maybe are capable of so much more than we're currently engaging in in our everyday life. Examples would be, I've talked about this on previous episodes. I think we have so much spiritual technology that we've not learned how to harness, and we're certainly not prioritizing it through scientific research because that's not something that they in air quotes, want us to know about. So we do have to know these things. Who really are we? Where did we really come from? There's so many things like evolution that you can prove somewhat up to a point. But then there's always something that I call the 3% rule. It's like, yeah, this is a reasonable hypothesis, but then we can't explain this and this and this. I would love to see us when we're pursuing healing for the world and healing for humanity. We have to do the work and come into agreement on who we actually are, what we want our destiny to be, and what we want that to actually look like functionally, because then and only then can we reverse engineer what has to change about what we're doing right now. Because life is in complete chaos right now. The world around us is completely falling apart. You have religious people that are kind of sitting back and they're like, just let the prophecy play out. We already won. And then you have other people that are going the other side into, like, fear and terror over World War Three. And I think many of you guys know I am a Christian. I had a radical encounter with Jesus when I was 19, being raised a Jew that thought that believing in Jesus was like believing in Santa Claus. So I am coming from a perspective of being a Christian when I say this, and perhaps also being raised Jewish with the understanding of tikkun olam. I can simultaneously be aware of what prophecy says while also being darn sure that I am doing my part right now in this moment to roll up my sleeves and make the world and humankind a better place. I'm not just going to kick back and be like, well, we already won. You know, this is just. Just let prophecy play out. I don't think that is what any of us are called to do, is just kind of sit back and watch the world burn. I firmly believe that many of us were given tools, diagrams, skills, even just, you know, blueprints for some of us on what we can do to change the course of humanity, to make human beings kinder, more empathetic, stronger, more resilient, to help our children become adults that don't need something like break method. We have these gifts and abilities, but if we sit back and we're either afraid of World War 3 and we go hide, or simultaneously, we sit back and we're like, just let prophecy play out. We already won. We're going to miss all of these opportunities to drastically change the world in which we live, how we live, and how we experience life. Because I do believe that it is a gift to be in a human body. And so many people try to meditate out of this experience because it is challenging and it is dark and it is full of messy people and people that want to point fingers. That's hard. And I understand why you might want to try to meditate out of that. But at the same time, I do believe that we can learn through all of these really intense experiences and challenges. And frankly, many people can't learn without that. That is the pressure that helps us build skills. In fact, even today, when I was talking to a client who's getting close to graduation, and this happens really consistently, people will get Toward the end, and they're like, it's so crazy. All of these things that were like ideas or things that I might have feared or been worried about that were just kind of hanging in the balance all of a sudden. It's like, now that I'm graduating, they're all rapid fire happening right now. But now I'm actually able to engage them with the tools that I have. I really believe that when we're doing work right, I'm gonna put work again in air quotes. Like you're learning something. You're reading a book. A lot of times, hypothetically, we get it right? We're like, yeah, if I were in that situation, I could do that. But then as soon as the heat turns up, as soon as life is happening, all of that knowledge can go completely out the window. In other words, you can learn something, and hypothetically, you could be great at it. But when the real situation happens, you're not doing any of the things that you learned how to do. I think we learn through the pressure. We learn through the challenge and the fire. If we have the right skills and the right understanding first so that we are equipped and we are equipped for battle. And that when we're actually on the battlefield experiencing the challenge, experiencing the hardship, we're able to generate a different outcome. That's what then gives us the evidence that that pattern opposition worked. That is precisely why, at the end of my book, your brain is a filthy liar. I designate all these areas called rebellion zones. There are l places where, from a pattern perspective, you keep repeating the same things and the same assumptions keep driving the same behaviors. And then sometimes you get a blind spot and you can just double down on that. I've seen that with people who honestly have done the work for a while and they get themselves into a rough spot in their life, and all of a sudden, it's like all of that awareness and understanding and increased empathy just flies out the window because now you're in your feels again. We need to be able to step into these rebellion zones and actually generate new outcomes. But because we are not in agreement about who we really are, what we're truly capable of, and where we want to go, we can't even reverse engineer the rebellion zone. So I think I want to leave you guys with this today. And we will continue pulling this thread because I think this is a really interesting thread to keep on think about this. Who are we? Where do we come from? Are we. You know, I've heard people be like, I think we're really the Aliens. Where do we come from? Who are you really? What is the purpose of humanity? Were we from somewhere else? Is our history exactly what they tell us it is? What do we think we want to do with our lives? What should humanity look like in the future? These are all things that I want you to be thinking about. Because only when we think about these things and organize around those things. Can we figure out where we really have the work to do. Otherwise, we're just kind of spinning our wheels. And then everyone's in quantum conflict with each other. I think it's this way. I think it's this way. And guess what? That is a recipe for pendulum swing. Pendulum swing. Pendulum swing. And it will never stop. And I personally, I wanted to stop. I do feel like I have a really good understanding of who we actually are, what we are capable of, and where we should be going. I'm not gonna just sit here and tell you that my way is the right way. But I certainly have done this thinking. And I feel like I've landed on something concrete. But I want you to do this thinking. I want you to work through this and come to your own conclusions so we can talk about it. Because we are going to go into some conversations around what is mental illness? What is mental illness spiritually? Because we're going to take this in a few directions. That maybe go outside of the scope of where we have been previously. You know, what is something like schizophrenia? And when we're talking about schizophrenia, what does this look like in a more multidimensional string theory sort of way? I think these are questions that we have to ask ourselves. And it can be challenging for some. Because then we kind of dip our toe off the concrete edge. And now we're kind of swimming in the intangible. But I will do my best to be a good steward and guide for these discussions. So that we don't just completely descend into chaos. But we use this thinking in a way that is with intention, for our best good as humanity. And that we only use it in a way that we can become more accountable, more responsible, more resilient, and more empathetic. Because if you don't grow all those things simultaneously, you've already lost the plot. And you're not healing at that point. You're somewhere in that pendulum swing. So if you are enjoying this topic and you want to participate a little bit more. We are organizing a new group. It's going to be on Telegram. Telegram just seems to be an easier way for everyone to kind of chime in. So the telegram group should be up on the show notes this week. I hope that you will jump over there. It's obviously, of course, free, and we just want to kind of hear your opinions on what you're liking on the episodes and just engage in conversations like this, like, who are we really and what are we capable of? Because I want to hear your thoughts before we go into the next episode. So thank you so much, everybody. I hope you enjoyed this episode. And let's keep it going. Your brain is wired for deception, but here's the truth. Patterns can be broken. The code can be rewritten. Once you hear the truth, you can't go back. So the only question is, are you ready to listen?
Host: Bizzie Gold
Episode: Pendulum Nation: Why We Mistake Extremes for Healing
Date: October 24, 2025
In this thought-provoking episode of Decoded, Bizzie Gold explores why swinging between extreme positions—what she calls the “pendulum swing effect”—is often mistaken for real healing, whether in personal lives, families, or society at large. Expanding from individual psychology to broader cultural and societal dynamics, Bizzie challenges listeners to recognize the difference between authentic growth and reactionary over-correction. She urges a more intentional, data-informed, and empathetic approach to both personal and collective transformation, advocating for a strategic middle path rather than perpetual oscillation between opposites.
On Pendulum Swings:
“Pendulum swinging to some sort of wild radical opposite that wasn’t intentionally calculated…is just another form of dysfunction and imbalance.” — Bizzie [00:10]
On Memory:
“Whatever we experience, even if that doesn’t match the objective record, will be encoded into our body as if it was real.” — Bizzie [13:35]
Empathy as Evidence of Healing:
“If you can honestly watch that, look at that, and not even feel your heart rate elevate and instead just be like, wow, I actually really feel for them…That is a positive sign of healing.” — Bizzie [18:51]
On Parenting Changes:
“With [instant communication], our ability to be patient, our ability to build really secure attention or secure attachments, our ability to be resilient…all of that’s out the window.” — Bizzie [30:42]
On Healing as Middle Path:
“Healing is the strategic, calculated middle way... not these pendulum swings that are not intentional…” — Bizzie [34:33]
On Collective Direction:
“We have to be able to have some difficult conversations and unite around who we really are…Because only when we think about these things and organize around those things can we figure out where we really have the work to do.” — Bizzie [47:08]
Bizzie Gold’s central message in this episode is that true healing—whether for individuals, families, or society—cannot be achieved through knee-jerk reactions or wild swings between extremes. Authentic, lasting change comes from an intentional, strategic pursuit of balance: knowing who we are, where we want to go, and working diligently (and empathetically) toward that vision. This requires deep reflection, collaboration, and the courage to hold uncomfortable conversations—both with ourselves and others—while resisting the temptation to react impulsively or follow societal overcorrections.
Listener Invitation:
Bizzie encourages listeners to join the show’s Telegram group to reflect on profound questions about personal and social identity, as these conversations will continue and deepen in future episodes.
“Patterns can be broken. The code can be rewritten. Once you hear the truth, you can’t go back. So the only question is: are you ready to listen?” — Bizzie [53:18]