Podcast Summary: Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Episode: Knowing God as Father (S24E7)
Date: December 1, 2025
Host: Pastor Joby Martin
Guests: Charles Martin and others

Episode Overview

This episode concludes the “Stand Firm and Act Like Men” series with a deep exploration of biblical fatherhood and the radical invitation of Jesus to know God as Father—Abba. Pastor Joby Martin and Charles Martin discuss personal experiences as fathers, the theological revolution Jesus brought in calling God “Father,” and how understanding God as Father can transform faith, relationships, and personal wounds. The episode weaves together biblical exegesis, vulnerable storytelling, and practical encouragement for parents, particularly fathers, but it also offers comfort and challenge to all believers pursuing a deeper relationship with God.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fatherhood as God’s Title & the Weight of Influence

• Being a Dad: Joy and Heaviness

  • Joby confesses the great joy of seeing his now older kids pursue Jesus and the bittersweet responsibility:

    “The primary imprint of God on my children will be me…in the creation order I’m going to be the greatest influence on those two humans’ lives. And I love them so much and don’t want to mess it up.” (03:12 – Joby)

• Tenderness & Affection

  • Charles recounts the affection from his own father and the intentional way he’s passed that to his sons:

    “My dad kissed me 10,000 times...I just didn’t want them to ever feel like I was withholding emotion or affection.” (04:04 – Charles)

2. Experiencing God’s Love Through Parenting

• Moments in Harship

  • Both share their deepest realization of God’s love came during seasons of their children’s suffering. Joby’s perspective transformed as a father:

    “My whole Bible changed when I became a dad…Of course you run after your child…lay in the pig pen if that’s what it took to get him home.” (05:51 – Joby)

  • Charles shares powerlessness during his son’s medical emergency:

    “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do…but I can’t fix it. So I just had to lean into the Lord…those moments of hardship sort of come back because…they bring it out and test you.” (07:02 – Charles)

3. Jesus and the Scandal of “Father”

• Why Was It Radical?

  • Jesus calls God “Father” (Abba) over 165 times, breaking religious convention:

    “It’s the first time a rabbi has ever used the word father for God. The people looking at him are like, ‘Who—you’re nuts.’” (10:08 – Charles)

  • In the Old Testament, “Father” was only used corporately, never personally.

• Abba vs. Pater: Language of Intimacy and Obedience

  • Abba conveys both intimacy and obedience, not mere description:

    “Pater is a description…but Abba, there’s an intimacy and a knowingness…Every time he says Abba, what he’s actually saying is, ‘Father, I will obey you.’” (14:33 – Charles)

4. Barriers to Seeing God as Father

• Imperfect Earthly Fathers Are Not the Template

  • Joby clarifies:

    “Your Earthly father is not a reflection of the Heavenly Father…God is the perfection of what the word Abba means.” (17:11 – Joby)

  • Many transpose wounds and disappointments from earthly dads onto God. Charles encourages listeners not to make an idol of those wounds—real, yet subject to Christ’s healing.

• Cultural and Generational Drift

  • “We assume upon God as Father based on our earthly experience, especially our Western experience…We expect God to owe us happiness or health...That is a misguided Western way to see the sovereign King of the universe who also is Father.” (17:32 – Joby)

5. Healing Father Wounds

• The Holy Spirit’s Role

  • “The only one who can get through that and heal that is the Holy Spirit…Just ask the Holy Spirit…He’s faithful.” (30:36 – Charles)

• Don’t Let Wounds Define You

  • “The problem with the father wound is you make an idol out of it…nail it to the cross…you’re allowing the enemy to have the loudest voice instead of Jesus.” (32:12 – Joby)

  • For those who’ve experienced serious abuse: “Go see a pro…so you can live a healthy, mature life full of forgiveness and close relationships.” (32:24 – Joby)

6. The “Why” Behind Jesus’ Mission

• Restoring Us to the Father
  • Charles gives a powerful biblical overview that all of Jesus’ work—atonement, victory, redemption—leads to one outcome: restoring us to the Father’s love.

    “The reason Jesus came is to return us to the Father and restore everything that was lost and fractured in the garden.” (34:44 – Charles)

  • The Father’s love for us is undiminished:

    “His love for us is the same love He has for His Son...there’s no drop off.” (39:36 – Joby)

7. Obedience Rooted in Trust

• Sons, Not Slaves
  • “Every single time we trust him as a son trusts his dad, we’re taking steps of obedience in the direction of abundant life…He wants for us, not from us.” (44:24 – Joby, quoting his book)
  • True obedience and abundant life come from knowing God as Father.

8. Vulnerable Story: Broken Backs and Calling Dad

• Charles’ Football Injury and His Father's Response
  • Charles shares an emotional story about a career-ending back injury in college and calling his dad:

    "I said, Dad, I can't play football anymore…Without skipping a beat, my dad said to me…'Son, if I leave right now, I can be there by supper.'” (50:44 – Charles)

  • Ties the story to how men carry wounds but resist reaching out to the Father:

    “Most of us are walking around with broken backs and we are not on the phone with our Father.” (51:45 – Charles)

9. Learning as Fathers with Grown Children

• New Seasons, New Lessons
  • Joby: “My job is simply to be one of the people that helps create an environment for [my son] where he can hear from the Lord and then do what the Lord calls him to do.” (53:46 – Joby referencing Charles’ wisdom)
  • Charles: “You’re trying to keep your boys from walking into the desert that I’m calling them into…every man that I’ve ever used, I’ve brought into the desert.” (57:39 – Charles)

10. Encouragement for Wives, Mothers, and Single Moms

• For Women (Wives, Mothers):

  • "Very few dads are drunk on encouragement…they are starving for a little bit of ‘way to go’...what the dad needs from mom is just a little bit of cheerleading.” (61:26 – Joby)
  • Celebrate when dad gets it right, and be allies, not critics.

• To Single Moms:

  • “Mama, you got it. The Lord has given you everything that you need…Lean into the Father. He has not left you alone.” (63:04 – Charles)
  • The church family can help where the ideal isn’t realized: “Where the ideal is unrealized, grace abounds.” (63:27 – Joby)

• To Fathers:

  • “Repent when you’re wrong…Let your children see you talk to the Father…show your son affection…Most of us are walking around with broken backs and we’re not on the phone with our Father…when we bow to the Son, the Father raises us up.” (63:35 – Charles)

Memorable Quotes & Moments with Timestamps

• On God’s Title:
  “He allows us His title.”—Joby (03:12)
• On Affection:
  “When I hug my boys...they have this tenderness that I love, and they all say, ‘Hey, Pops.’”—Charles (04:04)
• Father’s Love in Hardship:
  “I want to do…there’s nothing I wouldn’t do. But I can’t fix it. So…I just had to lean into the Lord.”—Charles (07:02)
• Jesus’ Radical Message:
  “It’s the first time a rabbi has ever used the word father for God.”—Charles (10:08)
• On Abba’s Significance:
  “Abba…much more [than ‘Daddy’]…Every time he says Abba, what he is actually saying is, ‘Father, I will obey you.’”—Charles (14:33)
• Earthly Dads Aren’t the Model:
  “Your earthly father is not a reflection of the heavenly Father…God is the perfection of what the word Abba means.”—Joby (17:11)
• Healing and the Holy Spirit:
  “The only one who can get through that and heal that is the Holy Spirit…he’s faithful and he will lead you.”—Charles (30:36)
• Why Did Jesus Come?:
  “The reason Jesus came is to return us to the Father and restore everything that was lost and fractured in the garden.”—Charles (34:44)
• God’s Love—No Drop-Off:
  “His love for us is the same love he has for his Son...there’s no drop off.”—Joby (39:36)
• Broken Backs and the Heart of the Father:
  "I said, Dad, I can't play football anymore…'Son, if I leave right now, I can be there by supper.'”—Charles (50:44)
• On Encouraging Men:
  “Very few dads are drunk on encouragement. They are starving for a little bit of way to go.”—Joby (61:26)
• Final Encouragement:
  “…when we bow to the son, the Father raises us up. There is no path to the Father that doesn’t go through the Son, but there is a path to the Father, and it does go through the Son. And when we bow, the Father lifts us up.” (65:57 – Charles)

Notable Timestamps

• 01:38 – What do you love about being a dad?
• 05:27 – Moments when fatherhood reveals the love of God
• 10:08 – The scandal of Jesus calling God “Father”
• 14:33 – The meaning of Abba vs pater
• 24:55 – Evaluating our earthly fathers and understanding God as Father
• 30:36 – Healing father wounds and the Holy Spirit’s role
• 34:44 – The reason for Jesus: restoring us to the Father
• 44:24 – Living as sons, not slaves; obedience out of trust
• 50:44 – Charles’ story of his broken back and his father’s response
• 53:19 – What you’re still learning as fathers of grown children
• 61:26 – How women (wives/mothers) can encourage men as fathers
• 63:04 – Encouragement for single moms
• 63:35 – Final practical advice for dads
• 66:31 – Closing prayer

Tone and Takeaways

The episode is deeply personal, blending scriptural exegesis, vulnerability, practical advice, and encouragement for everyone—fathers, mothers, men with deep wounds, and those longing for intimacy with God. The invitation is to know God as “Abba”—Father—not as a concept, but as a lived, daily reality marked by intimacy, trust, and grace. Practical steps include honest prayer, demonstrating affection, giving and receiving grace, refusing to let wounds define your future, and rooting obedience in the assurance of a Father’s love.

Related Quotes for Reflection

• “Every single time we trust him as a son trusts his dad, we’re taking steps of obedience in the direction of abundant life because that’s what he wants for us, not from us.” (44:24 – Joby)
• “Let your children see you talk to the Father…show your son affection…Most of us are walking around with broken backs and we’re not on the phone with our Father.”—Charles (63:35)

For further deepening:

• Read John 17 (the High Priestly Prayer)
• Meditate on Romans 8 and Galatians 4 (The Spirit’s cry: “Abba! Father!”)
• Take practical steps of giving/receiving encouragement and grace within your family and spiritual community

End of Summary