Podcast Summary: Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Episode: Lust and Anger will Kill You - Matthew S2E3

Date: February 23, 2026
Host: Pastor Joby Martin (with multiple co-hosts and guests)
Theme:
A deep-dive into Matthew 5 in the Sermon on the Mount, exploring Jesus’ radical teachings on lust, anger, forgiveness, and relational reconciliation. The episode aims to challenge surface-level readings of Scripture, emphasizing the heart issues beneath external behaviors and calling listeners to Christlike lives that honor God and others.

1. Jesus’ Authority and "You Have Heard it Said" (04:00–06:00)

• Key Insight:
  Jesus isn't abolishing the Law but fulfilling it, raising the standard from mere behavior to heart posture.
• Pastor Joby (C): “He is upping the ante on what they knew as the law… It's not just the law written on stone tablets. This is the law of God written on our hearts. This is a heart issue, not an obedience issue.” (03:01)
• Jesus corrects misapplied or misquoted Old Testament laws (e.g., “love your neighbor and hate your enemy” which isn't a direct Scripture).
• Quote:
  “He teaches as one with authority, that authority was given to him by God the Father… You guys are making stuff up. You’re adding to what God said.” (03:54)

[Relevant Segment]

• Jesus as the greater Moses (02:00–04:00)
• The difference between word-for-word commands and “heard it said” traditions

2. The Letter vs. Spirit of the Law; Heart vs. Activity (05:07–06:00)

• Righteousness is not about external legalism as with the Pharisees, but deep, internal transformation.
• The call: Not just outward cleanliness, but an internal change compelled by love for Christ.
• Quote:
  “Let’s not just talk about the external letter of the law. Let’s talk about the heart. That’s why I love that verse, that the love of Christ compels me.” (05:53 – Joby)

3. Application of Old & New Testament Commands (06:39–08:12)

• Importance of proper application: Some commands are for individuals or the church, not for nations/governments.
• Example of misapplying generosity by politicizing it rather than acting as individuals.
• Quote:
  “It’s real easy to be generous with somebody else’s money… we are commanded to be generous individuals.” (08:09 – Joby)

4. Anger: From Thought to Action (09:11–11:18)

• Anger in the Heart:
  Christ equates anger with murder in terms of spiritual impact, though legal consequences differ.
  • Joby: “The legal applications are not the same as the spiritual distance you create between you and God based on those internal realities.” (10:19)
• Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation:
  • Forgiveness is one-sided (required of all who follow Christ), while reconciliation requires both parties and repentance.
  • “Forgiveness is unilateral because Christ has forgiven you… Reconciliation requires both parties… and repentance must be there in both parties in order for them to be reconciled.” (11:18)
• Practical wisdom: If you’re the offender, Jesus calls you to take the initiative to reconcile.

5. The Dynamics of Judgment, Intentions, and Relationships (14:39–17:37)

• Horizontal (person-to-person) and vertical (to God) relationships cannot be separated.
• The tendency to judge others by their actions but ourselves by our intentions (“fundamental attribution error” – 16:16).
• Nugget: “Careless words stab like a sword… Even if I didn’t mean to, there could still be a scar.” (16:33)

6. Anger and Its Roots (17:37–19:19)

• Insight: Anger is a protecting instinct—good when used to defend what pleases God, bad when protecting ego or insecurities.
• Joby: “Anger is protecting something... when used to protect things that please the heart of God, then it’s a really good thing that stirs us to action.” (17:52)

7. On Unforgiveness and Bitterness (22:39–23:58)

• Unforgiveness keeps you imprisoned; reconciliation should not be delayed.
• Joby: “If you harbor unforgiveness, you are going to be a prisoner of that. That’s it, bro. It’s going to rule and reign your life...” (22:52)
• You must “cancel the debt” because the person can never truly give you what was lost.

8. On Lust—Severity, Pathways, and Freedom (24:19–35:03)

The Pathway of Lust (24:47–27:15)

• Sexual sin doesn’t happen in a vacuum—"it’s a pathway, not a snapshot." (24:47)
• Objectification and pornography deeply damage both the user and their relationships.
• Science confirms: porn use rewires the brain, akin to addiction.

Shame and Restoration (28:04–30:52)

• Shame is the devil’s tool to enslave; freedom is found only in Christ’s forgiveness and coming into the light.
• “If you feel unwanted, oftentimes it plays itself out in sexual immorality because you don’t know how valuable you are.” (28:59)

Freedom and Confession (31:05–34:19)

• Total confession (to God and another trusted person) is essential.
• “If you’re not willing to be honest, you’re never going to be free. This is one you need to tell someone for the sake of your soul.” (31:06–31:36)
• Healing requires a holistic approach: heart, soul, mind, and strength.

Encouragement:

• Hundreds have found healing—freedom is possible for all, no matter how trapped you feel. (34:19–35:11)

9. Salvation, Lordship, and Perseverance (35:58–39:22)

• Ongoing, unrepentant sin is evidence of not knowing Christ, not just a lack of willpower/submission.
• Lordship means Christ is “the boss”—true conversion includes surrender, not self-rule.
• “If you tell him what you are going to do regardless of what he has said to do... by definition you are the king of your life and he is not.” (37:58)
• Conviction is a sign of God’s work; it’s not condemnation but an invitation to new affections and intimacy.

10. Conviction as a Warm Blanket (39:22–44:10)

• Conviction is not just pain—it’s an invitation into intimacy, a signal to draw near to God.
• “Conviction for sin... is a warm blanket to the soul. It’s God’s kindness that leads us to repentance.” (39:35–41:25)
• The pain of mourning over sin (Beatitudes) is actually the beginning of healing: letting the Great Physician “touch the wound so it can heal” (44:10).

11. Pastoral Sensitivity & Divorce (44:37–53:29)

• Real stories: compassion for those affected by divorce, awareness of its far-reaching pain.
• Jesus’ teaching: divorce is never ideal, only permissible under certain situations (abuse, abandonment, infidelity), but even then, reconciliation is the hope.
• Quote:
  “If the tomb is empty, anything is possible... God can breathe new life into a broken marriage.” (46:50)
• Clean conscience: strive to say, "As far as it was up to me, I tried to live at peace."

Practical Guidance (52:12–53:51)

• Avoid unhealthy echo chambers—seek support in healthy, Christ-centered community rather than only among those in similar struggles.

12. Turn the Other Cheek: Insult, Attack, and Boundaries (54:22–63:19)

• Jesus distinguishes between enduring insults (turning the other cheek) and defending against real harm (especially for those under your care).
• “If you’re attacking me, I owe it to my family to stay on that wall... If you’re insulting me, I don’t get to swing back.” (54:57)
• Boundaries, not walls: “A boundary is not a wall. It’s like a fence with a gate, and you determine what you’ll let in and out.” (63:10)

13. Loving Enemies—Mercy Over Judgment (63:19–67:04)

• The heart of Christ: treat others as God treated you—mercy, compassion, empathy, and humility.
• “How did God treat you? That’s how I want you to treat people... By the grace of God, there go I.” (63:55)
• Learn to see the humanity behind others’ story—compassion grows from understanding.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “We always want to be judged by our intentions, but we judge everybody else’s actions.” (15:47 – Joby)
• “It’s real easy to be generous with somebody else’s money.” (08:09 – Joby)
• "Shame is such a powerful weapon of the enemy to terrorize the conscience and the mind of the believer." (28:06 – B)
• “If you harbor unforgiveness… you will not be free as long as you harbor unforgiveness because that begins to turn into bitterness…and bitterness will make your whole life stink.” (22:52 – Joby)
• “Conviction for sin... is a warm blanket to the soul.” (39:35)
• “If the tomb is empty, anything is possible.” (46:50)
• “A boundary is not a wall... it’s like a fence with a gate, and you determine what you’ll let in and out.” (63:10)
• “How did God treat you? That’s how I want you to treat people.” (63:54)
• “It's by the grace of God ... that I've made some decisions that have landed me where I've landed.” (65:33 – quoting Foxworthy)
• “Father in heaven...would you give us eyes to see ourselves the way you see us? And ... a spirit filled ability to love others the way you have loved us.” (67:12 – closing prayer)

14. Final Thoughts & Pastoral Encouragement

• Eleven22 is celebrated as “fertile soil,” encouraging difficult conversations and honest engagement with Scripture.
• The episode ends with a prayer for God to help listeners see themselves as He sees them and to love others as they've been loved by Him.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:18–01:39: Warm-up, personal anecdotes, transition to Scripture
• 02:00–04:00: Jesus’ authority, “You have heard it said...”
• 05:07–06:00: The heart of the law, righteousness
• 09:11–11:18: Anger, forgiveness, and reconciliation
• 14:39–17:37: Horizontal vs. vertical relationships, judgment, intentions
• 22:39–23:58: The prison of unforgiveness, bitterness
• 24:19–27:15: Lust, pathways, the seriousness of sexual sin
• 28:04–30:52: Shame, restoration, the gospel and sexual sin
• 31:05–34:19: Freedom, confession, holistic healing
• 35:58–39:22: Salvation, lordship, evidence of true belief
• 39:22–44:10: Conviction as invitation and comfort
• 44:37–53:29: Divorce, pastoral care, community wisdom
• 54:22–63:19: Turning the other cheek, boundaries, self-defense
• 63:19–67:04: Loving enemies, mercy over judgment, humility

Conclusion

This episode walks listeners through the challenging teachings of Jesus on anger, lust, forgiveness, divorce, and loving one’s enemies. Pastor Joby Martin emphasizes the gravity and seriousness with which Jesus treats sin—not merely for legalism's sake, but as matters of relational and spiritual life and death. The conversation is raw, candid, and pastoral: lifting up a gospel of grace even as it calls for deep personal transformation and true Christlike love—both vertically and horizontally.