When Men Stand, Families Flourish - S24E3

Summary

Podcast Summary: Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin

Episode: S24E3, "When Men Stand, Families Flourish"
Host: Pastor Joby Martin
Guests: Dr. Pastor Matt Carter, (co-hosts/staff voices not fully identified)
Date: November 3, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Pastor Joby Martin and Dr. Pastor Matt Carter unpack themes from the latest sermon in the "Stand Firm, Act Like Men" series at The Church of Eleven22. The discussion focuses on the spiritual and practical importance of men standing up for their families, the significance of spiritual warfare, intentional parenting, and how both men and women can fight for their homes and communities. The tone is candid, vulnerable, and passionate, blending biblical exposition with anecdotes, challenge, and encouragement for churchgoers—especially men—to take up their role as protectors, servants, and spiritual leaders.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Influence and Responsibility of Men in Families

• The episode opens with light banter and a personal story about the influence of Pastor Joby's teaching on a family road trip—teasing out the topic of defense and protection of one's household (00:31).
• The conversation quickly deepens into men's responsibility as protectors, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally, referencing Ephesians and biblical manhood.

Notable Quotes:

"In this series on Stand firm and act like men, remember, our founders believe that those rights came from God." — Pastor Joby (01:33)

• Prayer and intentionality are highlighted as critical for effective spiritual leadership at home.

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2. The Spiritual Battle and the Role of Prayer

• The enemy is described as "not a nuisance, but a lion," drawing on a sermon quote about taking spiritual warfare seriously (03:22).
• Prayer is explored as the first line of defense not only against physical threats but the spiritual ones attacking families.

Notable Quotes:

"Prayer will actually reveal what you think about the enemy and the intensity of the battle you’re in...if you don’t have the soul-searching puddle of tear on the floor—chain breaking prayers ever—what are you doing? You’re not in the battle." — Pastor Joby (03:56)

• Powerful personal stories and analogies underscore the intensity with which a father would fight to protect his family.
• The recurring illustration of ancient soldiers standing side by side with shields interlocked—families fighting together—grounds the spiritual concept in practical imagery (07:16–08:38).

Notable Quotes:

"We’re in a fight right now with the enemy that makes that [ancient battle] look like a trip to Disneyland." — Matt Carter (08:38)

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3. Parenting with Intentionality

• Intentional parenting is central: fathers are urged to proactively engage their children's hearts (15:06–18:34).

Timestamps:

• [15:06] The challenge of connecting with children whose "hearts are elusive".
• [17:22] The wisdom that parents really have until age 16 (not 18) to lay their foundation.

Notable Quotes:

"When they’re 16, 17, 18, you have seven or eight significant touch points a year." — Matt Carter (17:22)

• Pastor Joby's strategy involves focusing on heart, soul, mind, and strength—the Shema—as a relational filter for conversations with his kids (18:34).

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4. Fighting for Families and the Church Community

• Protection isn't just physical; it's spiritual and emotional—standing on the "wall" for spouses, kids, and the church body.
• The role of elders and spiritual leaders is emphasized, with several stories of accountability, support, and practical provision. Pastor Joby recounts how his church elders provided financially to help his wife become a stay-at-home mom during the church launch (28:04–29:23).
• The interconnectedness of families and church members is celebrated—"fighting for another generation" and for the spiritual health of the whole church family (29:24–31:06).

Notable Quotes:

"This sermon isn’t just about fighting for your family. It’s about fighting for your church. It’s about fighting for another generation." — Pastor Joby (29:24)

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5. The Enemy’s Schemes & The Need for Vigilance

• The enemy is actively plotting like a military general, seeking strategic weaknesses in families (22:36).
• Success itself can be a snare, drawing men’s attention away from their families (23:58–24:51).

Notable Quotes:

"God, I mean, the enemy may give you sweets or bitters, he cares not as long as it gets your eyes off the Savior." — Pastor Joby, quoting Spurgeon (23:37)

• A football analogy captures how the enemy seeks out vulnerabilities—"How cool would it be if Satan...talking to his offensive coordinator...goes, 'Joby Martin? There is none.'" — Matt Carter (26:15)

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6. The Importance of Accountability & Spiritual Community

• Elders play a strong protective role for the pastor—and, by extension, the church (27:02–34:04).
• Modeling transparency, Joby describes accountability practices with his elders, who even review his tax returns to guard against common ministry pitfalls.

Notable Quotes:

"It’s out of love. At one point, they told me to sell the house I was in and buy a bigger one...They walked us through that." — Pastor Joby (32:08–32:26)

• Everyone is urged to seek out spiritual mentors and community, regardless of position or marital status (32:51–33:09).

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7. Practical Ways to Fight for Others

• The "armor of God" from Ephesians 6 is presented as a framework: prayer, scripture ("it is written"), knowledge of the gospel, identity in Christ, and serving others are tools for spiritual protection (35:49–37:32).
• Dads are urged to affirm their wives and children against the lies of the enemy—especially regarding identity and self-worth (37:32–40:04).

Notable Quotes:

"Nobody talks about my girl like that in that house, all right? You trust me, I got good taste. You’re my taste." — Pastor Joby (39:03)

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8. Bringing Peace into the Home

• Men are challenged to bring peace, not fear, when they walk in the door (40:05–42:45).

Notable Quotes:

"Does peace walk in with you?" — Pastor Joby (40:21)

• Joby and Matt discuss practical marital communication, transitioning from work mode to home mode, and negotiation to meet each other’s needs (44:00–44:19, 44:38, 45:58).

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9. Encouragement for Single Mothers & Women Without Male Support

• Grace abounds where the ideal is unrealized. Biblical examples (Mary, mother of Jesus; Timothy's mother and grandmother) show God’s ability to use single mothers powerfully.
• The church's commitment to support and fight for single moms and women is reiterated (49:20–51:29).
• Fostering community: Pastor Joby and his wife intentionally invite singles—especially single women—into their home and family life (51:29–53:27).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [03:56] — "Prayer will actually reveal what you think about the enemy and the intensity of the battle you’re in." — Pastor Joby
• [08:38] — "We’re in a fight right now with the enemy that makes that look like a trip to Disneyland." — Matt Carter
• [17:22] — "When they turn 16, they get a car, they get a job, they get a boyfriend or girlfriend, they start..." — Matt Carter
• [23:37] — "God, I mean, the enemy may give you sweets or bitters, he cares not as long as it gets your eyes off the Savior." — Pastor Joby
• [26:15] — "How cool would it be if Satan...goes, ‘Joby Martin? There is none [no weakness].’" — Matt Carter
• [40:21] — "When you walk in a door, does peace walk in with you?" — Pastor Joby
• [49:20] — "Where the ideal is unrealized, grace abounds. So a little bit of encouragement to the single mama: at some point Jesus was raised by a single mom." — Pastor Joby

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Physical and Spiritual Protection: 00:31–01:54
• The Role of Prayer & Spiritual Warfare: 03:22–04:30
• Shield of Faith Analogy: 07:16–08:38
• Intentional Parenting / Limited Years with Kids: 15:06–18:34
• Accountability & Elders' Protection: 27:02–34:04
• "Armor of God" as Practical Battle Plan: 35:49–37:32
• Affirming Identity in Family: 37:32–40:04
• Ensuring Peace at Home / Practical Marital Insight: 40:05–44:38
• Wisdom for Single Parents & Church Family as Support: 49:20–53:27
• Final Charge & Prayer: 54:01–54:41

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Takeaways for Listeners

• Men are called to actively protect and spiritually lead their families: by prayer, intentional presence, and providing emotional/spiritual cover.
• Prayer is the front line against spiritual attack: more than a ritual, it's evidence of one’s engagement in spiritual warfare for loved ones.
• Parent intentionally, maximizing limited formative years: prioritize connection over activity; ask deeper questions.
• Create a culture of spiritual accountability: find and invest in spiritual mentors, elders, or trusted mature believers.
• Fight for identity and peace in the home: speak life and truth over spouses and children, and ensure your presence brings calm, not fear.
• The church family must stand in the gap for single parents and the vulnerable: extend hospitality, mentoring, and practical support.

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For Reflection

• Men: Do your prayers and presence reflect the spiritual battle for your family? Does peace walk in when you do?
• Parents: Are you maximizing your intentional touch points with your kids, aiming for heart-level connection?
• Everyone: Who are your spiritual mentors or elders? Are you linked arm-in-arm with the family of God in battle?

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Closing Prayer:
"Fight. This is not an illustration. This is an actual event...the enemy is trying to take out this generation, dude. And we have to stand on that wall and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight...our weapons of warfare are not of the flesh, you know, but God has equipped us to go to battle. That’s it. Let’s pray. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, we love you. We thank you that we can fight because you fought for us. May we never forget it. In Jesus name, Amen." — Pastor Joby (54:01)

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This rich conversation is a rallying cry for men and women to fight for faith, family, and community—with prayer, intentionality, humility, and the support of the church body.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to Deepen with Pastor Joby Martin. The Church of 1122 is a movement for all people to discover and deepen a relationship with Jesus Christ. And we're praying this message helps you deepen your relationship with him. Now let's dive in.

[B]

All right, well, welcome, everybody, please, to the Deepen podcast with Pastor Joby Martin.

[C]

Tell everybody who you are and who are you?

[B]

I'm Matt Carter.

[D]

Doctor. Pastor.

[B]

Doctor. Pastor Matt Carter.

[C]

Okay.

[D]

So.

[C]

So I was not here last week. We were on vacation. And fancy. We're. Yeah, it was really fancy. We're in the car, driving. This is how I know Pastor Joby, you have had an influence on my husband. We've been a part of this church for over 10 years. We're driving up to North Carolina. He says, do you think we should get a gun?

[B]

I love it.

[D]

I'm like, yes.

[C]

I'm sorry, what did you say? I know. And we've been talking about how the only line of defense. I feel, of course, like him. But, like, what he's going to, like, just fight someone. Someone. Like, he's not really a fighter. And he would. If the adrenaline, you know, of course, if someone was coming for us.

[D]

What if it was two someones or three someones?

[C]

Right.

[B]

And better have an AR15.

[C]

And, like, he was out of town for a couple nights, and I was just home alone. And I was just thinking, like, I have no line of defense other than the power of persuasion with. I mean, I can try. I did go to sales school, so.

[D]

Not against demons.

[C]

Yeah. So I just want to thank you for. I just want to thank you for your positive influence on my.

[D]

You're welcome.

[C]

In this series on Stand firm and.

[D]

Act like men, Remember, our founders believe that those rights came from God. So I think.

[C]

Yeah, I have no. We neither of us have ever had anything against.

[D]

And what's great about this church is I can point him to the person to get it from, to be trained, all the things right here. We have a lot of connections scaled.

[B]

I can. Can. Before we get started, can I tell a quick, funny story?

[D]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[B]

Because. And this is funny because, bro, you and I go way back.

[D]

Way back.

[B]

I mean, what, 15 years?

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And, man, back in the 2010s, I was kind of a big deal.

[D]

Huge.

[B]

You know what I'm talking about? Still a big deal back in the day, but. But my sons are now in college, and you're a big deal. And, like, you're their hero. Check this out. This is hilarious. So my Son is a sophomore at Texas A and M and he's in this fraternity called Aggie Men's Clubs. It's cool. Men's Christian fraternities are huge. And they were doing a concert at A and M the other night with Midland, which is a Christian. Not a Christian, but a. A Western, like a country band or whatever. And we were up near the stage or whatever and I could sort of see out of my left this, this kid looked like maybe he was a junior senior in college was staring at me. I kind of looked over at him. He goes, hey, hey, man, are you Matt Carter? And I was like, don't you love it? Yeah. I was like, I look at my wife. I'm like, I told you, I'm kind of a big deal like that. And I swear my mother's dead body. He goes, you wrote Pastor Jovi Martin's for let's go. I swear that's what I started. Dying laughing. I'm like, that's the first time I've ever been. Been noticed for writing a Ford. But I did. You can check it out right here in this.

[D]

Wow.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

That's my pastor Joey.

[D]

Great forward too. It's really great.

[C]

Well, we're really glad that you're here and that you wrote that. Forward.

[B]

It was fun. Honored.

[C]

Yeah. So we talked about stand firm fighting. A lot of fighting language tonight. Cause we have an enemy that we have a tendency to treat more like a nuisance rather than a lion. And you read that quote by Gretchen in the sermon tonight talking about prayer and how sometimes we treat God the Father, like when we're talking to him instead of war, like we're walking in the park. And I think the same parallel is true for how we treat the enemy. We treat it like you'll use like just a lap dog instead of the roaring lion that he.

[D]

Prayer will actually reveal what you think about the enemy and the intensity of the battle you're in. I mean, there are times to pray like you are walking in a park with your dad, right? But if you don't have the soul searching puddle of tear on the floor, like she's talking about chain breaking prayers ever. What are you doing? You're not in the battle. I mean, this is like we're at war and you're back at camp just hanging out, making brownies. What are you doing, man.

[B]

By the way? Go ahead.

[D]

Well, I, you know, Gretchen asked me to like, proof that all of her deal, all of her. Her devo. So I was reading them a long time ago and when I read that part. I was like, hey, I need copy this. Send this to me. Because when I talk about prayer, I want. I mean, this is fire. I want to bring it back up. Yeah. So. And if there's men that haven't plugged into the devos from her, it says it begins, ladies, but it's to everybody. I mean.

[C]

Yeah. And it's just. It really is. You know, I sat in the sermon tonight, and I'm listening to you call men to the fight. And I had just read, like, a couple hours before service, I had just read her devo from today, which talked about her making the decision to go stay home and the shame and guilt she felt from that. And she was affirming women in whatever their calling is. And it's like, you just have these two things that. It's just a beautiful picture of what we're trying to do, this series. And so it really is. It's a really helpful resource.

[D]

It. It. You ought to see women's faces. When I go, ladies, you're. You're getting lied to on both ends of it. Because it is true. All the moms that go to work, they get this whisper like, well, you're not enough mom. And then all the moms that stay home, they're like, you're not enough woman, because you're not. What are you doing?

[B]

You don't have a podcast.

[D]

Right. And the. And the enemy is just killing them on both sides. And the key is you got to do what Jesus called you to do. Now, regardless of whether you work or not, your kids and family are the priority over your work. But some women are called to work and some aren't. No problem. Biblically speaking, that we have evidence of both.

[C]

Yep. Yeah. And there's that line she said. I said it in the connect moment tonight, but she said, my house is my mission field, and everyone that enters and exits the front door is my ministry.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

And I thought, wow. And it's like, kids, babysitters, friends of kids, friends of ours. Like, it's everyone. It's not. It's not just your kids, you know, it's everyone that comes in your house. So anyway, I just love that we have both. Were you. You were going to say something?

[B]

I mean, you know, this sermon was. I hate to say it was so good or whatever, because they're all good.

[C]

We're about to. You're about to run up there.

[B]

I'm just telling you something.

[C]

Flags waving.

[B]

Something clicked in my brain tonight, and I've been listening to preaching for a Long time. I preached a long time. I heard you preach for a long time, Pastor. Here's what hit me. The. It's when you were talking about the shield of faith and you were given the illustration of the, the Spartan Felix and the Roman and their shields and how they would put them together. And, And I didn't know that, but you're right is they would put your son beside you, they'd put your father on the other side of you. Because you know the way that the. Why don't you just tell that real quick and then I'll. I'll take the point that I took away from.

[D]

Yeah. The way they would design it so the shields were built in such a way they would link together. We've, we. A lot of people know that. If you've seen the movies, you'd know that. But what I didn't realize, I think Kyle Thompson is the one that, that shared this reality of history with me. They would line you up by family so that your family members, your brother and particularly sons would be next to your dad's uncles, that sort of thing. Because what, I mean, you just fight different if your boy is standing next to you. And so that they know that they know you would not run. You wouldn't run because if he goes down, you were going to do everything it takes to protect him with your shield.

[B]

And so I had a moment right then when he said that that I just imagined what would it be like, you know, if two, three, 400 years ago, back when people fought like that and I got one of my sons on one side, one of my sons on the other, my father by him, my son in law by him. There would be an intensity. We'll take my asses off for this. There would be an intensity that I would fight right in that moment that I wouldn't. If it was just me. I mean, one thing, I'm sure I'd get into it if my life was on the line, but I'd fight like a rabid dog, no doubt to protect my sons. And I would fight with everything I had. And the thing that hit me is we're in a fight right now with the enemy that makes that look like a trip to Disneyland.

[D]

Yep.

[B]

We don't fight, we don't take it seriously. And I think the biggest weapon that we have in that fight is prayer. And I think if we really got a glimpse of the real fight that the Bible says we're in, I don't think we'd stop praying. And so that's what hit Me? Yeah.

[D]

Amen.

[C]

And where do you think we can grow in our prayer life? Like, where are we maybe censoring our prayers a bit or bringing these, like, weak prayers to God? Like, how can we pray? A little grittier, a little. A little dirtier.

[D]

Well, remember when John Tyson was here for the men's event when he was living a fool? His dad just went all charismatic and would, like, write Bible verses on his pillow and anoint the doorpost with oil and cast out demons and. Dude, that's the. That's what you got to do. Listen, if and when you see me at the altar, 99 of the time, I am praying for my children. That's most of the time what it is. And I mean, like, to. Tonight for me was my family sitting on the front row, you know, And I have. I have raised my boy to be a fighter. And he is, like, literally a fighter. That's what he does. He's, you know, trains jiu jitsu and mma. He is a protector. I travel a lot. I am. I feel very comfortable with him being able to step into my role while I'm out of town. In regards to protection. He. I mean, Reagan said, like, when. When JB was a senior and she was a freshman, she's like, dad, I just, like, people were terrified of him. And I'm like, that's what. Perfect. Perfect. She said. It was. It's very different once he graduated and was not around. You know, even now, though, that there is a boy that is interested in Reagan, and he just called the dude up. So. Hey, we're going to the gym today.

[B]

Let's go.

[D]

Just. I didn't tell him to. He just took him to the gym. You know, let's go. Then comes home, begins to give a little report. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's gotta be like, one of the proudest days of your life.

[D]

I mean, I was out of town, I was in Texas speaking at an event, and I. I just hear this is happening. I mean, and. And this kid is a great kid. I mean, comes from a godly family, and he's one of our youth lead, you know, like a leader in the youth as a youth and all that stuff. But still, my boy's like, resumes don't matter around here. We meet people.

[C]

That's right.

[D]

We meet eyeball to eyeball, and I love it, man. I mean, he really is a protector, and I've raised him to be.

[B]

And. And there's something, I think, powerful about raising sons to be a protector.

[D]

Right.

[B]

Like, I. I think We. We take that for granted. We don't instill that in our sons. But I did. And, you know, you made me think of something I hadn't thought about in a long time. But back when I was at my second church, this guy ran into the church one day in the middle of the week and. And screamed out, I'm gonna kill Pastor Matt and his family, and ran out the door, got in his car and started driving. And my. My two sons just happened to be home. And I'm running to my car as fast as I can get there, and I pick up my phone and I get my son, J.D. and I said, J.D. i said, this is what just happened. Lock the doors, load the guns. If he comes to the front door, you put him down. And my son goes, yes, sir.

[D]

Like that.

[B]

And I got home as fast as I could, and my two sons were sitting there with shotguns in their hand, guarding the front and the back. And that made me proud. And I love telling that story because that's something that we instilled in them from the time that. That they're little. You are the protector, correct?

[C]

You.

[B]

You get on the front and the back of our family and. And you fight if you have to. There's something about raising boys like that I think is powerful.

[D]

And listen, the hope in prayer, I mean, is that I never have to have a physical altercation in my entire life, you know, but. And if I don't, praise God, but I have the ability to do. And if you don't have the ability to. To protect. There's nothing virtuous about you. You're just weak. And weakness is not a virtue. But this is what it means to be meek. A bit. A bit bridled horse that you have the strength of the thoroughbred, it's just in the hands of the Satan.

[B]

Under control.

[D]

That's it, dude. So, yeah, man. And, you know, we were. We were actually. We were at the retreat center a few weekends ago. The whole family was there, and we had some trespassers, people, like, breaking in. And. And dude, I just. I didn't think about it. I just immediately grabbed my 30 30, hopped in the can am and hauled it out. And the JP's like, where you at? I was like, we got trespassers. He's just like, I'm coming. I'm like, come on, you go around this way. We'll catch him. We called him. We got him arrested. No doubt. 100%. So.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[D]

You know, the elders don't love it that I grab a gun and go running. However, we don't. Men don't get the opportunity very often anymore to stand out on the homestead and protect your kids from the grizzly bear and the wolf. But we've still got to go to war for the heart, soul, mind, and strength of our family and our friends and our community. You know what I mean? And we've got to be just as, if not more vigilant to immediately do that, you know, Because I can imagine Gretchen sitting there thinking, okay, great, there he goes, cowboy in. But does she also feel like I'm fighting for her heart and her identity and I'm fighting for her walk with Jesus, and you know what I mean? Like, do I. Are my feet fitted in the gospel of peace, those kind of shoes, so that when I walk in, the temperature actually settles down. Nobody has to pucker up because, you know, dad's home to demand stuff. But it's the other way that it's a gospel of peace that I bring.

[C]

Pastor Vincke, who typically hosts Deepen, he said something today to me. We were talking about kids, and I have just. I was just sharing with him that I'm kind of having this perspective of how many years I really don't have with my kids. Like, it just. It starts to go fast. And he said this statement. Our kids hearts are elusive when they're young. They don't know how to put words to what they're feeling when they finally get old enough to. You feel like you're constantly losing them and you're trying to fight to get them back. And I just think that's a good picture of kind of what we're talking about. Like, their hearts are elusive. Like, you have to fight to know your kids and to know and to fight for their identity and fight for their hearts.

[D]

So one of the things I talked about it a little bit, especially when my kids were young, I tried to ask more. You know, I'm not like a big feelings person, but I tried to ask way more feeling questions than activity questions, because what did you do today? Whatever. How did that make you feel? What? Those. I wanted them to be able to try to associate words, what was going on in the inside of them and train them to understand. I'm a safe place to kind of work that out.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And yet, even though I try really hard to do that, they still are 10 times more likely to talk to Gretchen about what's going on than me, you know, so there is this real complimentary role that we have.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But the key point is that you were Intentional about it, though, tomorrow.

[D]

I've been traveling way too much, and I was supposed to be here this weekend. We're gonna spend the whole weekend together, but I can't. And so Reagan, she's skipping school all day. And, I mean, we don't fly out tomorrow until 2, and so she's gonna run around with me, and I'm. I'm just. I have to fight for time with her. She's 16, too, and so, you know, she's got a lot. Like, she used to just always be home. Now she's not at home as much when I am, and so I've got to fight for whatever time. And she sent a text early and was like, hey, any way I can miss tomorrow? I've got straight A's. I've only missed this many days. It's Halloween.

[B]

Twist my arm.

[D]

And I'm like, I, I, I was. I always do the. Well, you got to put us on the group. Text me and mom, and then I'll see. And then I side text G, and I'm like, listen, can you please let her. Because I know you see the big picture. So cover all the bases so I don't screw something up here. But it. That would be great.

[B]

I want to talk about that, because I had a buddy that said something along those lines years ago, and it. And it crafted the way that I parented that.

[D]

He.

[B]

He made a statement to me. He was a. A man that was probably about 15 years older than me, had had high school sons, and I. I would. One of the things I did when I was a student pastor, before I even had children, is I would go to the parents of the students that were godly young men.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And I would take them to lunch. I'm like, all right, what you do? And he said to me something I've never forgotten. He said, matt, you think you have until you're eight, till your kids are 18 to raise them. He said, you don't. You have till they're 16.

[D]

Yeah, you told me that.

[B]

That's right. And he goes, when they. When they turn 16, they get a car, they get a job, they get a boyfriend or girlfriend, they start hanging out at church, they start hanging with friends, and you never see them again. And then he said this. He said, when they're. When they're 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years old, you have seven or eight significant touch points a week with them. He goes, when they're 16, 17, 18, you have seven or eight significant touch points a year. Like, how many times have you gotten to do what you're doing tomorrow with Reagan, it's rare.

[D]

Rare.

[B]

And so his point was, from the time that they can pay attention to you till the time they're 16, you're in the car with them all the time. Every time you get a significant touch point, whether it's in the bathtub when they're little, putting them to bed, when they're a little bit older, in the car, when you're driving them like a chauffeur all day long and all day night and all night to what they're doing. Be intentional in the way that I was intentional, Pastor. Exactly what you're saying. I wouldn't be like, how was your day? I would ask him an intentional question like, man, what are your friendships look like right now? What's the biggest struggle you have with your, with your walk with G? Like, I would ask intentional questions and then just let them talk, man. Be intentional.

[D]

The filter I use in my conversations with my kids and my wife is the shema. So I ask heart questions about relationships, like friends, you know, boyfriend, girlfriend, all that kind of thing. I ask soul questions about Jesus. Like, and I try to ask them in so many different ways that they don't know I'm asking heart, soul minded, strength. I ask him, what lies do they believe in? What's a podcast they're into? You know, some things, like, what's the input? What, what are some of the untruths that I know that are getting in there that we got to battle against? And then physically, I ask them physical questions, you know, like, how you feeling? How you sleeping? Having any weird dreams, you know, all these kinds of things. And you're right. And I've found as the dad of a daughter, I've got to fight harder for it. Like, JP's working here right now and he's off this semester. Well, I just decided you're going on three hunting trips with me. You go hunting, play golf, bro, that one's. It's just kind of easy. So with Reagan though, you know, we don't have those built in activities, so I just move around my schedule and just take her out. And like, I told her today, I was like, all right, listen, I got a podcast in the morning and I got early breakfast. You'll be asleep by the time we get home. And we're either going to run errands together or we're going to go work out together. Cuz she'll work out with me, which is fun. And even when we work out, honestly, dude, I Push her. Absolutely zero. The only goal when I was working out with jp, I was like, you know, because I don't care. I just want her to want to come back with me. Does that make sense? And so not so good. We'll eat what she wants to eat. She'll probably. We'll probably work out. Then we'll have to go to Taco Bell. That's what she loves, which is. I'm not eating that, but you know what I mean? I'm just trying to build memories.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And in the process, you're. You're for. For the. For your boys, you're giving an example of what a man looks like. And for your girls, you gave an example of what a godly man looks like.

[D]

Amen. Amen.

[C]

Okay, you said something I hadn't heard before. You explained that divides, which is in. Was that from Ephesians? You were saying that that divides means. That was from Luke. Okay. It means has his own way with. So the enemy wants to have his own way with your wife, your kids, and everything good in your life.

[D]

It's a similar word. It's a similar word to the curse that God puts on Cain. He's like, evil is crouching at the door to have its way with you.

[B]

And his desire is for you, bro.

[D]

It. It's like totally like a sexual abuse kind of connotation. That's what that means.

[C]

Like, pits a pit in myself.

[D]

Like plunder, you know? Like when you hear about the pirates plundering, that doesn't mean they're. They're like ruffling through your coins. That's what it means. It means to sexually abuse. I mean, that's the connotation, and that's what the demonic wants to do to the household that is not protected by the strong man.

[C]

Yeah. I heard Jenny Allen, she got up to teach at a conference, and she started off the conference kind of emotional. And she said, I've noticed lately that the deeper I go in on what God's called me to do, the more my family gets attacked by the enemy. And she was getting emotional saying, like. She just got off the phone and, you know, she's doing these big events, seeing revival. I mean, she's baptizing people on college campuses. And she said, the deeper I go in, the more my family gets.

[D]

Yeah. Her and JP Palute are tip of the spear right now.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And they're speaking at saturated next year. Those two things are not.

[C]

I know.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

And listen, that. That's the thing, you know, you. You fired up a lot of men tonight. And I think a lot of men were listening. And I think for the folks listening to this podcast, that's the thing you got to understand about the enemy. If you're just some normal dude living life, no desire to live on mission for God, no desire to fight for your family, he probably going to leave you alone. It's like the seven sons of Skeev.

[D]

Is like, who are you? Yeah.

[B]

I can't even know who you are.

[D]

Right.

[B]

But you put a stake in the ground and you go, I'm going to. I'm going to stand firm. I'm going to act like a man. I'm going to fight for my family. I'm going to point my family to Jesus. The enemy's going to come after you.

[D]

No doubt.

[B]

And. And you know that verse, you alluded to this pastor, in your sermon, But I believe it's. It's 1st Peter 5, 8. It says, Be sober minded, be watchful for your adversary. The devil prowls around like a roaring lion. We've all heard that. Seeking someone to devour. You actually talked about this, but I looked up earlier this week, in preparation for this, that word seeking. And you remembered the Greek term which I was impressed with, but I don't remember the word, but I remember what it means. That word. Seeking one is an ongoing action. So the enemy is constantly watching. But here's what he's watching. That's actually a military term, scheming. Like in the same way that a general would draw up a battle plan to attack a foreign army to find its weakness. That's the word that's being used right now. He's not just going to come at you full frontal assault. He's going to study you and he's going to come up with a plan to take you out. And so you better be ready.

[D]

Yeah. Gretchen quoted Spurgeon in one of the devos this week. And in. In the quota Spurgeon, he says, God, I mean, the enemy may give you sweets or bitters. He cares not as long as it gets your eyes off of the Savior. What's crazy is the schemes of the enemy could be success.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

To just lull you to sleep because you're fighting so hard for that next pay raise. And you know that you've got your eyes off your family. Meanwhile, they're being discipled by demons, by TikTok and YouTube. But you think everything's okay because, you know, they're not like drug addicts and they're doing pretty good in school and they got decent friends and he could just put the pacifier of, of the pursuit of happiness and actually let you attain a lot of it to the demise of future generations that come from your house. That's a scheme. See, because if the devil manifested himself in the, in the demonic in your front driveway, I don't care who you are, you've seen enough horror movies. You're calling a pastor. You're getting, you know what I mean, like swinging some smoke. You're like, where's Charles Martin when I need him? Come help me, Charles Martin, you know.

[B]

Get a spray bottle. Right?

[D]

We're doing right. You would actually run to our enemy's enemy, which is the Lord. So he doesn't want you to awake to the realities of the spiritual warfare. He wants you to be numb and asleep to them. Or he wants you to think the self inflicted wounds are a result of the enemy so that you think you're not the problem.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And to think about one way, just tell a real quick story. I don't think I've ever told you this, pastor, but I was on an airplane one time flying somewhere and this, this older guy looked like he was maybe in his 60s and, and his son, who, look, he was 20, sat beside me and lo and behold, it was the, the offensive coordinator and the quarterback coach for the fight in Texas. Aggies.

[D]

Oh wow.

[B]

Which I, I went to A and M and, and so, you know, and I was coaching football at the time and I was an Aggie pastoring too. But I ended up talking to the young man the entire flight. We hit it off. I ended up doing his wedding. But I'll never forget a story he told about Alabama football because the Aggies were about to play Alabama. And this was the year that I can't remember the year, but it was one of the, one of the years that Alabama was just, you could not touch them. And because I was an offensive coordinator and he was offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach, I said, man, how do you attack Alabama? I was like, how do you do that? How do you get a game plan against Alabama? And he said, well, what we typically do in any given game is, is we sit down and we start watching film and we look for weakness. He said, that's the first thing we do is we find out whatever weakness a team has and then we start figuring out a game plan where we attack that weakness and then everything else falls behind him. And I said, all right, what's Alabama's weakness? And he looks at me, goes, they have none. And of Course, A and M got the, you know, the snot kicked out of him. How cool would it be if Satan, when he. When he finds out your name and he's talking to his offensive coordinator, demon guys on how he's going to come at you? That guy goes, joby Martin. There is none. There is no weakness. That's what we're going for.

[D]

I think a big part of the reason of the blessing of my current life is the protection of the elders who have stood in the gap for me. And all of them have been severely attacked in a lot of different areas. And the. I'm not calling this a vision, you know, like a biblical kind of vision. This isn't like a future kind of thing. But the image I have in my head, nobody's gonna be able to see this. But, you know, it's like I'm standing this way, preaching, and then you've got these giants standing behind me. And as the attack of the darts are coming, it's their shields that are taking them. Wow. So that I can do what I get to do. I mean, Gretchen talks about how important it. It was for her to come home, and there's no 1122 without her, dude, I'm just telling you. And if. If. And if she wasn't able to come home to just help be the CEO of Martin Manor, there's no way I can pour in when I get to pour in.

[B]

No question.

[D]

The way that first started is as we were launching the elders, and the elders knew that Gretchen's heart was to come home. She didn't want to work outside of the home. And they came to me, bro, this is going to blow your mind. Churches pastors is going to blow their mind. They came to me and said, hey, we think that Gretchen should come home in the summer before we launch to help you be ready to launch the church. And I was like, no problem. You're right. And I. And I just kind of mumbled. I was like, well, you know, we just need to go through the budget, make some cuts to be fine. They hand me a stack of cash. We don't have a 1122, doesn't have a checking account yet. You know what I mean? Like, and they just were like, we figured out what she would make between now and then. And out of their own pockets, they just said, here, right? That's Dan and Rusty and Dr. Paul and Petey. Just out of their pocket, past the hat. You know, it's a few thousand dollars. They're like, here. And I go home with an envelope of Cash and say, babe, quit your job. She's like, well. And I was like. And I just slid this wad of money over, and I was like, the elders think it's a good idea for our church if you're at home. And there you go, dude. The. To this day, when the elders walk in the room, you see her. Peace walks in.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

In her eyesight. You know what I mean? Like, you see her. Her shoulders, the tension just kind of goes. And then I remember later that summer, we're leading a mission trip in Jamaica, and it costs so much money to hire these drivers to deliver the food. So I was like, we'll just do it. You know, we'll just. We'll just do that, and it'll save money, and we can get to see all the sites and whatever. And so every day, we would go drop everybody off, and we would go back and make the peanut butter and jellies. And then she and I would get in the car, and we'd drive all over Jamaica delivering these things, these VBSs and stuff. And at one point, I'm like, babe, what if this whole 11:22 thing, I just made it up. Like, honestly, you ever think about this? Like, what if this is not the Lord's plan and will? But I'm just so egotistical that I thought, you know what? Jacksonville needs me, you know? And she's like, well, you trust the elders, don't you? I'm like, yeah. She goes, all right. If. If this wasn't the will of God, don't you think he would have. And. And you totally missed the boat on it. Don't you think he would tell them and they would tell you? And I was like, I do. So that's. So this is. This sermon isn't just about fighting for your family. It's about fighting for your church. It's about fighting for another generation. It's about fighting for your brothers and sisters in the faith on your left and your right. This is about an army of single people gathering together, going, we're in the family of God. We. We do have a family. Is this church family? You know, it's about all of. It's about my family fighting for your family and your family. And it's about the older people fighting for the younger people, not fighting with each other. It's not about our church fighting with another church about how church ought to be done. We ain't got time for that junk, man. We got an enemy, and we need to link arms together.

[B]

And you think About. So for any elders listening to this, Pastor Joby, when those elders did that, what did it do in your heart towards them?

[D]

The trust level, the. It's one thing for somebody to give you some lip service, to say, we're for you, will do anything for you, but to just actually do it, say, we have taken action, you know, So I had decided, like, there's a couple of things that have taken guys in our position out. Monies and honeys are two of the biggest, you know, and so I. I had wanted to put some protections in place, like, say, around money. You know, how easy it is since the day we started, like, to give the elders, like, they get my tax returns. They know every dollar that comes to the Martins and where every do dollar goes. Think about that.

[B]

But it's because you trust them and they have earned that trust in your life. And it's not because they're trying to keep you humble or keep you in line.

[D]

They.

[B]

It's out of love.

[D]

At one point, they told me to sell the house I was in and buy a bigger one.

[B]

Right?

[D]

I was like, what? They're like, yeah, and your house is too little and we can't even eat dinner at your house. How about get a table big enough for one other person besides the four people live at your house? You know what I mean? And I was like, well, okay. And they did. They walked us through that, you know? And I mean, even now, I just met with Petey, like three weeks ago about. I mean, I'm 52 now. You know, you make different decisions when you're 52. And I was like, hey, man, I got some decisions to make. I want to run this stuff by you. I want to get your insight, you know, there's nothing burning, nothing pressing. I just want to be wise. And I know you love me and care about me, and you're smarter than me. So what do you think? We could all have that in our life. You don't have to pastor church to have elders.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

You can just get some people. Just find. If you're a dude, find an old guy with a worn out Bible and a smiling wife, you know, and just get around him. If you're a girl, you find a lady with a Bible with a million tabs in it and a husband that loves God.

[B]

That's it.

[D]

And just say, I want to be around you.

[C]

Yep, that's Stacy Brown for me. Is one of those.

[D]

She's a giant in the face.

[C]

I mean, giant. And just. Yeah, everything she does is bathed in Wisdom and experience. And then Megan Phillips. Megan and Lonnie Phillips. Oh, yeah, yeah. Those are two women. For me, like, they could seriously. I tell Megan all the time, like, we've given her and Lonnie permission to speak into our life. And I tell her all the time, like, if you told me to do something crazy tomorrow, I would do it. That's the permission I've given you. It's the trust thing. And it go to the fight like, we're not meant to do it alone. And why. Why not take advantage of people who have been worn a little from the world to. To be able to better prepare for what we have ahead of us?

[B]

And those men are. Aren't just doing it for Pastor Joby. They're doing it for the whole church.

[D]

Right?

[B]

I. I want. Man. Pastor, probably my favorite thing about working here at this church, besides just seeing God do exceedingly, abundantly more than we could ask or think, and being friends with you and watching you do your thing, man, has been the elders.

[D]

Yeah, bro.

[B]

I get a. I get a call from at least one of them every time I'm here. They. They have pursued me. I went to lunch with Rick today. Rick Graham. Brilliant. And. And, man, he just was loving on me. He's asking about my family. He's asking how we're doing financially. He was just being an encourager to me. And by the way, he said. I said, man, what's it like being an elder? You know, Talk to me about that. Explain to me. He said, man, my number one goal besides just protecting this church is. He said, I believe part of my calling is protect Joby, Pastor Joby. And he literally said, I'm going to stand in front of him. I'm going to stand behind him. I'm going to stand to his right and his left, and I'm going to take the darts for him. He said that today at lunch. So I don't know how you found these dudes, brother, but they're amazing.

[D]

I really just, you know, you don't really grow elders as much as you discover. Like, you just get really close to what the Bible says an elder is and look for somebody that is that.

[B]

That's doing it.

[D]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So kind of in line with that, how do we fight? So it's important to have, yeah, maybe older people in your life. But you talked about this, you know, when we've talked about fighting this year, it's been, how do we get in the fight? And tonight was a lot about how do we fight against the enemy on behalf of someone else. So what we've talked about prayer. What are some of the ways that we fight on behalf of others?

[D]

Yeah. As I. As I walked through the armor of God, that. That's a pretty good lattice by which to say, am I fighting in these areas? You know, so prayer is one. The word is a big one, man. I mean, if you're. If you don't have. It is written that you are speaking out loud over your family all the time. That's one you could do today. You can start writing these things and just putting them on sticky notes and putting them on the window, on the mirrors of all the people that you love at your house. Right. You could ask people, what's your number one struggle? And then go to the Google machine and be like, what's a verse about that? And you can find. And it is written for them. One of them is the helmet of salvation. Like, dude, does your family know what the gospel is? This is a really big deal. You care so much about what their SAT score is. Do they know the gospel? Do they know where it is in the scripture? Heard this great thing during the men's conference. Willie. Willie Robertson was here. He just comes to the whole thing, dude, he just wants to be a part of it. He comes to the whole thing and he go. And. And afterwards he's hanging out and, you know, everybody wants to talk to him. And guy's like, man, I just. I just feel. I'm gonna go into ministry. I just feel like God wants to do something big. And the guy. And Willie goes, do you know the gospel? And he goes, well, yeah, I mean, you know, Christ, life, death and resurrection. You know, I go to this church. I hear it a lot. And he goes, cool, show me it in the Bible. This is Willie Robertson to some random guy right? At our church. And the guy's like, well. And he goes, you're gonna want to learn it and where to find it in the Bible. And then let's talk about where your ministry is.

[C]

Wow.

[D]

Willie, bro, let's go. Okay, well, and then I thought, well, we should be doing that with our family.

[B]

100, 100%.

[D]

The big one is the. The breastplate of righteousness. So that's about identity in Christ. One of the biggest ways to fight is you gotta fight against the people in our. In your family or your roommates or the people who. All the people you love. They're going to be lied to about their identity. Okay? Your race is not your primary. Primary identity. Your sexual attractions are not your primary identity. The Way you vote is not your primary identity. Jesus is your past isn't. Your hobbies aren't. Right. And then in particular, my experience, not, not just with my two children, but also with being a youth pastor forever. And this is that oftentimes the boys are getting caught up in performance. All of their identity is wrapped up in performance. It could be art, it could be academics, it could be sports. You know, a lot of the girls, it's going to be like all these body image issues that the enemy just. Bro, dad, your. Your words weigh a million. Listen, this is the craziest thing. I can't. I can't preach about it too much. My wife is so pretty. She's not normal pretty. She's extra pretty. It's just true. And there I have to fight with her against the enemy about buying into the lies of her self critique about her. The way she looks physically. And I'm telling you, I'm not kidding. I haven't been like, hey, shut up. She's like, what? You don't tell me up. And I'm like, nobody talks to my wife that way. That didn't make sense. I am your wife. I'm like, right, you. You don't even get to say those words. Cuz if you say them, your ears hear them. Your brain might believe it and your heart might feel it. And that's a freaking lie. So nobody talks about my girl like that in that house, all right? You trust me, I got good taste. You're my taste. It's. It looks real good. I'm being serious. You know, watch your mouth. Watch your mouth, cuz. Cuz it's just true. And that's what I mean, you know, or. And all kind of stuff. Like she gets lots of encouragement for the devos. I got to make sure that I'm not. She also, you know, you know how it is. You put anything out there in public and somebody's going to be like, well, you know, say, that's right. I'm like, these people don't know what they're talking about. Shut up. You've got to fight for her identity, E. Even if the devos weren't good, God still loves her all the way, you know? And you've got to fight against the performance and the pretending.

[C]

Yeah, man.

[B]

I love kids.

[D]

Your wife.

[B]

I love what you said about the. The gospel of peace and that you bring up. Bring her peace. I think to me that was one of the most powerful moments of the sermon because you called men. How did you word it, Pastor? When you Walk in a door.

[D]

Does peace walk in with you?

[B]

Does peace walk in with you? And then you challenged, you challenged men to talk to their wives and ask them the question, you know, when I walk in a door, are people afraid? Are they nervous or do they bring peace? I think that's very important. I lived in a home that, that I love my dad, but peace didn't walk in with him. And, and I think, and I thought it was brilliant too, that you challenged the men that let your wife talk and shut up, let her talk about that for.

[D]

Well, I learned it firsthand because I've asked Gretchen, so what is it like to be on the other side of me? Like, when I walk in, does peace walk in with me? And very graciously, she's just said, sometimes, which means and. And often it's not just a full yes or no. And what she's helped me realize is if I've been in a lot of meetings and I am lead pastor Joby, that's the primary hat I need to. I mean, I still need to, like, be kind and gentle and peaceful there too. But, you know, I am demanding people and we hold people accountable and we're trying to reach, you know what I'm saying? And one of the code words that we've come up with when I walk in and I'm still treating everybody like an employee, and she will just simply say, have you been in a lot of meetings today? And honestly, it is a kind reminder that I need a minute. Yeah, listen, this ain't great. This is why happy hour was invented, because before dudes would get home, they would have to take off their boss hat. And I'm not suggesting you need to go drink a whiskey before you go home. That's not what I am suggesting. But the idea of a bit of a cool off period for you to shift gears and dad and husband and boss ain't the same thing. You were not the boss of the house. You were the husband. You're the lead servant. You know, these are not the same things. And so it's been a very helpful thing. And she will just say it. And then it did. And I'm like, oops, I gotta shift gears. And the other thing, she knows if I do walk in the house and walk up to her, give her a kiss and high five the kids and walk straight out back and sit on the couch on their little back area for a minute, she'll be like, just give him a second, you know, because I'm trying to, like, not just bring that in yeah. It's also helped me, Matt, like, get my junk done before I get home.

[B]

That's right.

[D]

The amount of times I'm sitting in the driveway finishing a call or finishing a text or an email and not.

[B]

Bring it in, not being present.

[D]

Right. And. And she has helped me with that. You know, she's helped me that. And then the other thing that I've asked, I've asked for her. I'm like, hey, listen, you want to help me? Greetings. Mean the world to me. The, the initial words, and I don't know why, it just sets me up for winning or failing. Like, first words in the morning. And, And I mean, if I walk in the door and nobody even looks up from their device and the dogs just run up to me, like. And no even is like, sup? I'm like, what the heck, man?

[B]

Do you feel that way in other rooms you're in, or is it just in your. With your.

[D]

It's only at home.

[B]

Only home.

[D]

And the sad thing is, well, what's crappy is I, I don't hardly ever walk to another room where people aren't like, oh, hey, you know, I mean, like, the grocery store or whatever. But, you know, and what you're saying, I just want them to acknowledge, like, oh, wow. Because I also know. I mean, I do have a very busy schedule, and I'm gone, so I can't simultaneously hear, well, you're not here there very much. You know, you're not here. And. But when I am there, nobody's talking to me, so what the heck? I could go get work done, you know?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So this is, this is what sometimes we got to say. Here's. Here's where I need some help. Like, I, I, I appreciate the feedback, and I'm sorry, and I want to do better. Here's a way you could help me be better, too. And this is just like, good marital negotiation.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

You know, because wives, I mean, we can also ask that question. We should ask the question. Okay. What is it like to be on the other side of me, too? Because sometimes what we think is helping is not. And it's helpful to hear that. So I think asking for feedback. It's not just men, you know, Women have to do it, too.

[D]

Yeah. And so in those good negotiation conversations, what I've learned is both JP And G, they, they. They are more like a diesel engine. Like, I don't know if you know this. Like a diesel. You turn it on, it's got to warm up before it gets going. And so, like, even When I get home tonight, JP's like, he'll probably still be up. He's not going to come running up to me and give me a hug. But what he is going to do, he's going to come and sit down next to me, and in about 15 minutes, it's rolling. Well, what used to tick me off is when he was in high school or before he could drive, and I would go pick him up, and he'd get in the truck and I want to talk to him, and I'm peppering him questions, and he's like, I'm like, what the heck, man? I'd be so mad. Well, Gretchen helped me understand, like, hey, he needs a minute. So if you'll just sit there and shut up for a little while when he gets warmed up, then he'll keep going. And then she's the same way. So first thing in the morning, I mean, I'm like a puppy. I'm like, oh, you're up. Hey, what, do you want to hang out? Yeah, look at me, look at me, you know, and she's just like, can I get a little coffee? And I got my Galatian study, and so I'll just sort of kind of hover in the vicinity. And then it just ready. And then all of a sudden. Yeah. And then now she's running the conversation and won't be quiet, you know, but that, that's a learned skill in our relationship. Reagan is the other way. Reagan walks in, the door, passes everybody, sits in my lap and hugs me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Praise God, man. That's cool. You know, what you're talking about is actually biblical, because so much of this series has been about language around fighting. Stand firm, endure, fight. But then we're going to get to Ephesians 5. And what does fight look like in Ephesians 5? Fighting means you love.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Fighting means you serve. You know, Pastor, and I was thinking about it. One of the things that Paul's going to say, he's love your wife. Like Christ loved the church, and then the next part's key and gave himself up for her. You know, part of being a godly husband and part of fighting for your wife and your kids and your family is knowing what you got to give up in order to love your wife better. You know, for me, man, I had a temper for a long time, and, and, man, I, I, I would yell at my, my sons, especially kind of out on the football field. And, man, I just had an epiphany on the football field and, and at home, because my wife Just folds up under unkindness, that I cannot love this woman well. And I can't cultivate a home of peace if I'm unkind. And then my son, I'll never forget this, I think he was about sixth, seventh grade. I'm out on the football field with him because I coach just like you did. And man, I just laid into him about something and this is a tough kid. JD's a tough kid. And I looked at and he was crying and he never cries. And something broke in me and it hit me, man, I'm like, that kid's going to grow up, be a man. And he's going to have people yelling at him and critiquing him the rest of his life. And I refuse to be that in his life right now. So I still coached him, but I was an encourager and I made a decision real closely in my marriage and also in my parenting that I'm going to be a kind man. And it was a, it was an active decision that I made. And if you go talk to my, my children and you go talk to my wife, they go, yeah, he is kind. And man, that's the best compliment I've ever been given. And man, I just want to encourage guys. If you listen to this sermon that Pastor Joby preached and you're like, you know what? I, I don't think my children would, would describe me that way. I don't know. My, my wife would say, I'm. That peace follows with me. I want you to get on your knees tonight before the Lord and you ask him to change your heart. And you change that tonight, you'll never regret it.

[D]

Yeah. And kindness is a fruit of the spirit, so that does not have to be a thing you manufacture. But you draw near to Jesus and ask him to do in you what only he can do, which is produce love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You are a kind man.

[B]

Thank you.

[D]

You are not urger, but you're strong and clear and sure, you know.

[C]

Okay, last question for the women listening. I just, in my mind I can think of some single friends that don't have good relationships with their dads. They don't have a lot of men in their life. I think of divorced women who are raising kids who they don't have. They maybe don't feel like they have anyone fighting on their behalf. What encouragement would you have for them right now?

[D]

Yeah, man. Where the ideal is unrealized, grace abounds. So a little bit of encouragement to the single mama. I would give you is that at some point Jesus was raised by a single mom. Like Joseph just quits being mentioned in the gospel because he gone, he must have passed away somewhere between 12 and 30. Right. Timothy was raised by a single mom. And that dude, it was a mom and a grandma. Only the nationality or ethnicity of his dad is mentioned. But what Paul does is Paul kind of adopts him in the faith. And so part of the reason, I mean man, this church is here to help. This church is here to fight for you, especially the single mom. Do everything you can to root your children in our kids and student ministries. We work really, really hard to make sure we have some godly male role models in our kids and student ministry. You talk to me. Anybody our age, what person in kids ministry had dudes? Yeah, it was all women teaching Sunday school, which is great. We need them running bbs and all the things. Right. But we also need some male role models. And so I am telling you as a first hand testimony of an intact godly marriage and I love G and all that still. Probably the primary influence in JP's life was his small group leader. Because when he hit seventh, eighth night was more about ninth grade. And he ain't talking to dad about the stuff anymore. He's still talking to his group leader, Josh. They still meet every week for Bible study. JP's 20 years old, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

And so we are here to help. We're here to help and, and you just know that, that God will give you everything that you need to accomplish everything that he wants to accomplish in your child's life. And this church is fighting for you. And every single one of those men that stood up and said, you come against me with sword and spear and javelin, they were fighting for you too. We're not just fighting. I'm not just fighting for the people that live in my address. I'm fighting for the people that attend this church because we're in this family together. And so we're, we're fighting for you.

[C]

And you know, one thing I've seen you and G do and we try to do is like adopt a single person, especially the single girls. I know. Yeah, and we really try to do that too. You know, if we're just having a normal family dinner, I'm like, let me just invite someone who maybe isn't sitting with the family at dinner tonight. And I think that's how the church can show up, particularly for the single women who don't have kids yet. And the desire to be married and desire to be in family, bro.

[D]

We've had them live with us. We've had them. I mean, you know, a bunch of them have been your buddies, and just watch Gretchen disciple them and. Yeah. And I mean, I'll tell you, I can remember at one point, I remember I came home. I think it was like, Halloween or something, and there was, like, six single girls at our house, and our kids were little. And I was like, no, it was. I remember it was Valentine's Day, because I remember that's it. It was Valentine's Day. And I remember thinking, what the heck is wrong with Christianity? Age 18 to 25 right now?

[C]

Because this is it.

[D]

What are you guys doing? This is the cream of the cry. Anyway. And I remember one of the greatest compliments I feel like we've ever gotten as a family is one of the girls was like, peace lives here. Yeah, Peace lives here. And so, yeah, we. We've constantly done that. You know, whether it's open up a room or just kind of open up our lives. And even if you come to our house, like, especially in the summers when it's like, backyard season and pools and all that kind of stuff, there it is a normal experience for the beat. Everything from infant babies all the way to the petey's in their 70s. And ev. Literally every generation represented. Yeah. Single folks, young families, teenagers, children, babies, twenties, newly married, and everybody's there, and it just feels like, yeah, man, these are all our friends. Yeah, the little babies are our friends, the elders are our friends, and everybody in between.

[C]

Because isolation is a tactic of the enemy. But particularly with single women, I feel. And so, yeah, just throw out the invite when you can and just have them join in whatever you're doing, you know, anything. You'd have to.

[B]

I mean, simply just don't underestimate, Especially if you're a single mom, don't underestimate the power of a godly woman in a young man's life.

[D]

No doubt.

[B]

You know, both my sons are just. I'm blown away at how they've turned out. And I'm gonna tell you, their mama had a bigger influence on them as anybody in the world.

[D]

No doubt.

[C]

Any final thoughts, Pastor Joby? And then will you pray for us?

[D]

Fight. This is not an illustration. This is an actual event. Listen, just because the war is spiritual doesn't mean it's not actual. And I'm telling you, the enemy is trying to take out this generation, dude. And we have to stand on that wall and fight, fight, fight, fight, fight. But our weapons of warfare are not of the flesh, you know, and. But God has equipped us to go to battle. That's it. Let's pray. Our good and gracious Heavenly Father, we love you. We thank you that we can fight because you fought for us. May we never forget it. In Jesus name, Amen.

[C]

Amen. Thank you for listening to the podcast.

[A]

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