Chapter 23 - Sometimes You Gotta Die A Little

Summary

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Desert Skies – Chapter 23: "Sometimes You Gotta Die A Little"

Podcast: Desert Skies
Host/Creator/Performer: Jared Carter
Date: October 6, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged return to the astral plane, the Desert Skies team grapples with reunion, unresolved grief, and difficult decisions about leaving their familiar home for a mysterious new journey. The episode is centered around Cash's (also known as Lily) return from the physical plane, the questions and pain her absence left behind, and her insistence that to move forward, sometimes you have to let go—even if it means dying a little to truly live. Themes of love, friendship, trust, secrets, and the bittersweet comfort of home permeate the story, setting the stage for a leap of faith by all.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Reunion and Tension

• Cash (Lily) Returns: Cash is welcomed back by Mac, Corson, and Nani after time spent on the physical plane, appearing changed—more integrated, human, and carrying secrets she can’t (or won’t) share.
  [07:57]

  "You're the same, but you're different somehow. There's still something under the surface. The storm. But it's muted. Kind of beautiful in a way."
  — Cash (Lily) to Corson

• Bittersweet Embrace and Humor: The friends greet each other with playful affection, layered beneath a current of unresolved pain and longing.

• Underlying Tension: The group presses Cash for answers about what happened on the physical plane. Cash cannot reveal everything, leading to frustration and arguments within the group. [12:17]

  "We have to go back."
  — Cash (Lily)
  "Back where? Home. What does that even mean?"
  — Corson (Mac)

2. Secrets, Grief, and Leadership

• Cash’s Burden: Cash struggles with not being able to tell her friends about her transformation, what she learned, or even secrets critical to their identities—even when pressed by Corson and Mac.
  [14:31]

  "I can't tell you what you want to know. I can't tell you who you are. I can't tell you your name or how you died. I can't. There's a reason you're not supposed to know, and that's that."
  — Cash (Lily)

• The Weight of Suffering: The loss and the pain from Cash's absence are made clear. Mac and Corson, especially, articulate their ongoing ache and anger. [14:10]

  "Do you have any idea how many tears I cried over you? How much time I spent thinking about you, worrying you wouldn't come back?... There's a grave?"
  — Corson (Mac)

• Leadership & Trust: Through conversations with Nani and Tendi, the nature of leadership, responsibility, and the pain of carrying others' burdens are explored. [18:57]

  "One thing about being a leader is leaders have to be able to lead with their hearts exposed. You got no more robo armor, robo girl. Just whatever passes for flesh here."
  — Nani

3. The Decision to Leave & What Home Means

• Desert Skies as Home: The station isn't just a pit stop—it represents comfort, identity, and shared history. The prospect of leaving brings sadness and nostalgia, especially for Mac. [36:50–38:55]

  "Just when you think you're done grieving... Goodbye, microwave. ... You've been the backdrop of all my favorite memories. ... You made me a better man. So long, Frank. It's been a gasp. Gas. That's good. Goodbye."
  — Mac

• Packing for the Journey: The group negotiates, in both comedic and poignant fashion, what they can take with them—realizing the impossibility of packing home into a trunk. [33:33]

  "You packed Desert Skies to take with us. Like the station. The whole station."
  — Cash (Lily) to Mac

4. Love, Family, and the Nature of the Astral Journey

• Found Family: The bonds between the characters are affirmed as a kind of found family, a motif woven through both conflict and reconciliation. [32:31]

  "That's what families do, Corson."
  — Cash (Lily)

• The Meaning of the Astral Plane:
  [31:25]

  "The astral plane isn't just some weird collection of odd spirits and beautiful locations. It's a journey that's meant to remove the weight of darkness travelers accumulated throughout their time on the physical plane. Meant to equip them for the next life. I think maybe it might equip us for the first one."
  — Cash (Lily)

• Letting Go: Cash delivers the episode’s resonant thesis:
  [31:58]

  "Maybe sometimes you gotta die a little before you can truly live."
  — Cash (Lily)

5. Resolution & Forward Motion

• Trust Rebuilt, If Not Complete Understanding: Although full answers aren't given, the group decides to trust Cash’s vision. Mac, in particular, expresses a hard-won willingness: [30:29]

  "Look, I'm not the smartest man, but you are... But love plus smart, that's a combination I'm willing to get behind."
  — Mac

• A Final Goodbye: Mac takes a somber, personal moment to officially say goodbye to the station and the memories it represents.

• Setting out: They finish preparations, say their goodbyes to Greg and Betty (now charged with running the station), and take a moment at Cash’s grave—a symbol of love, loss, and continuity—before finally departing.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Love and Arrival:
  [04:28]

  "Oliver, look at me. ... You're safe now. And you know why? Because I love you with my whole heart. I've been waiting for you my whole life. ... There was this big old hole in my heart. And guess what, Oliver? It was shaped just like you."
  — Stella

• Cash’s Real Name Reveal:
  [26:39]

  "That's my name. It's short for Lillian."
  — Cash (Lily)

• About Secrets and Protection:
  [29:01]

  "As hard as it is, I'm not keeping secrets from you, Mac. I'm keeping secrets for you. And if it helps, try not to think of them as secrets. Maybe think of them as a microwavable revelation that's meant to serve you at the appropriate time."
  — Cash (Lily)

• On Family and Emotional Risk:
  [32:24]

  "Because you love me."
  — Cash (Lily)
  [32:31]
  "That's what families do, Corson."
  — Cash (Lily)

• The Farewell:
  [36:50-38:55]

  "Just when you think you're done grieving. Alright. Goodbye, microwave. ... Goodbye, soda dispenser. ... Goodbye, desert skies. I'm gonna miss you. ... You made me a better man. So long, Frank. It's been a gasp. Gas. That's good. Goodbye."
  — Mac

Humorous Banter and Warmth

• On Burritos and Enjoyment:
  [11:13]

  "Speaking as someone who choked on one of these things for a very, very long time, it's an unpleasant experience. One of the only times I wish dead people could die."
  — Corson (Mac)

• Packing Gone Overboard:
  [33:06]

  "It's one of every item we keep in the store. About 6 gallons of Shack juice, 4 of each. Burrito packed on ice. A portable microwave. My book of childhood memories. My favorite rock."
  — Corson (Mac)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment Description | Timestamp | |-----------------------------------------------|-------------| | Cash greets Oliver and Stella | 04:28 | | Reunited friends reflect & exchange affection | 07:57–10:45 | | The secret Cash carries & friction | 12:17–14:43 | | Nani and Cash discuss leadership/feelings | 18:57–19:57 | | Greg and Betty’s surprise at Cash’s return | 21:09–22:20 | | Corson’s grief over Cash’s absence | 24:00–26:15 | | Cash’s real name revealed (Lily) | 26:39 | | Cash reframes keeping secrets | 29:01–30:53 | | The metaphysics of the spheres explained | 31:25–31:53 | | “Sometimes you gotta die a little...” | 31:58 | | Packing for the journey—comedy | 33:00–34:38 | | Mac’s emotional goodbye to the station | 36:50–38:55 | | The last visit to the grave | 39:43–40:50 |

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Tone & Style

The episode is suffused with humor, warmth, and sharply-drawn characters—but also a profound sense of melancholy and anticipation. Moments oscillate between laughter, gentle ribbing, and deep emotional vulnerability, staying true to Desert Skies’ signature blend of the cosmic and the intimate.

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Summary Takeaway

"Sometimes You Gotta Die A Little" is an episode about transitions—between worlds, states of being, and stages of grief. In the liminal comfort of the Desert Skies astral station, the characters face the hardest questions about love, truth, and letting go. Trust is both risk and reward; “home” is both a place and the people you choose. With one last look back, the travelers at Desert Skies step forward together onto whatever comes next.

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Transcript

[Commercial Narrator]

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[Corson (Mac)]

When did making plans get this complicated? It's time to streamline with WhatsApp, the secure messaging app that brings the whole group together. Use polls to settle dinner plans, send event invites and pin messages so no one forgets mom 60th and never miss a meme or milestone. All protected with end to end encryption. It's time for WhatsApp Message Privately with everyone. Learn [e-mail] hi friends, it's Jared. Welcome to the third season of Desert Skies. I can't tell you how good it is to be back with you. Can you believe it's been 10 months? Isn't that wild? A few very quick things before we start the episode. First, I want to invite you to join the wonderful Desert Skies community of fans who I affectionately refer to as Skylarkians in the many places we exist online these days. I'm currently active on Instagram, Blue Sky, Facebook, and you can also join our Discord community. We take turns watering a digital tree there. His name's Piney. Find links to all of our socials in the show notes. Second, if you want to learn more about the show, visit desertskiespodcast.com and while you're there, sign the guestbook. I love it when people sign my guestbook. Third, I'd encourage you to join Club 86. It's a great way to support the show and depending on the tier you join at, you get new episodes early as available. You get access to exclusive episodes and mini series including Game Night and the Grief Train. You can also get ad free episodes of Burrito, Cookbook, commentaries and more. Just visit patreon.com desertskies or find the link in the Show Notes below. And last, this weird little announcement. I get so many wonderful Spotify comments on episodes and I read them all. I cherish them. Some of them are so heartfelt. But I can't reply to or publish them if they contain spoilers. So just please keep that in mind when you're leaving a comment because I hate to leave anything out. That's it. I'm Done talking. Welcome back to the astral plane. Enjoy. Chapter 23. Sometimes you gotta die a little. Previously on Desert Skies. It won't hurt anything if you humor me by just trying to go to the register, will it?

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm in the register. This is impossible.

[Corson (Mac)]

You can step out of the frame, any frame. Is it a good ending? A marvelous one.

[Cash (Lily)]

You said that friendship was one of the three greatest powers in existence. What are the other two?

[Corson (Mac)]

The love of a mother and the bond of siblinghood.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm coming.

[Corson (Mac)]

Cece. She's banished herself to the physical plane.

[Cash (Lily)]

Here it is. Your favorite place.

[Corson (Mac)]

Is that a house? Cash, why is there a house in your memories?

[Cash (Lily)]

It's not from here. It's from the physical plane. Olena said that I'm either dying or I'm waking up. Which is it?

[Corson (Mac)]

A little of both. Olenas, I hand over my responsibilities to you. You are the mover of the eight sphere. Seven. Snake, rain. Rabbit. 019. 0079 mm 115. The gate opens. Forge and Flora.

[Cash (Lily)]

Forge and Flora.

[Corson (Mac)]

You have an invitation that needs delivering. Don't just leave her laying here. We gotta help her. She's not here, Mack. What do you mean, bolts and thunder? Is that. I don't know that I did her justice, but yes, it's meant to be. Her travelers don't usually start with the hug. Why are you smiling like that? Cash? For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended.

[Cash (Lily)]

Hi, Oliver. It's so nice to meet you. Sweetie, I know you're scared and angry and that's okay. I've been scared and angry, too, but. Oliver, look at me. You don't know me, but I'm gonna tell you something, and I want you to believe it with your whole heart. Do you want to hear what I have to say? Yeah. You're safe now. And you know why? Because I love you with my whole heart. I've been waiting for you my whole life. Isn't that crazy? I didn't even know who you were, but there was this big old hole in my heart. And guess what, Oliver? It was shaped just like you. My name is Stella. And you can call me Stella or Mommy or stinky butt dork face. Oh, wow. What a handsome smile you have. I'm gonna take care of you now. And I'm gonna take care of you forever and ever. Oh, sweetie. It's okay. Come here. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. There. Come on. There's someone I want you. Come here. Don't be scared. She won't bite. Now would you believe it? She Just came here yesterday. And you know what? I think she came here cause she knew you were coming. Look, Oliver, she likes you. Do you want to hold her hand? It's okay. There. Would you look at that? She thinks you're gonna be a great big brother. Do you think she's gonna be a good little sister? You do. Lily and Oliver, you two are gonna be good friends. Come on, sweetie. Let's go to the kitchen. I made cookies. Oh, you want to stay here? Well, that's a. Okay. I'll bring him to you. Oliver, Sweetie. Welcome home. Home, home. There's a way home.

[Corson (Mac)]

Cat.

[Cash (Lily)]

Sam.

[Corson (Mac)]

Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

Let me look at you. You're the same, but you're different somehow. There's still something under the surface. The storm. But it's muted. Kind of beautiful in a way.

[Corson (Mac)]

What are you talking about? Ow. What did you do that for?

[Cash (Lily)]

Did it hurt?

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm not sure I can even lift my arm now.

[Cash (Lily)]

Don't be such a baby. Come here. Closer. Lean in. I love you, you big dork.

[Corson (Mac)]

I. I love you, too.

[Cash (Lily)]

Where's my hug, Robo girl? It's right here. Oh, Nani. Thank you for being there for us exactly when we needed you. For loving us the way you do. There's no one like you, you know. I mean, I assumed. Thank you, Cash. And you. Cash, it's me, Mac.

[Corson (Mac)]

But you don't look or sound like Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm no longer an amalgamation of soul and processing. You.

[Corson (Mac)]

Yep. Your Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

And you're the sweetest man who ever lived. And you always have been. Someone tried to beat it out of you, but they lost. They didn't count on how strong you were, Cash. I know, Mac. I can see it. The transition from grief is difficult to navigate. Take your time. I know you're happy to see me. Come here. I always knew you'd be cuddly.

[Corson (Mac)]

Like Winnie the Pooh on steroids.

[Cash (Lily)]

Exactly, Mac. Exactly. Like that.

[Corson (Mac)]

Right on. Are you bitches ready to play or. Who's this? Da da da da da yor yor.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm your friend, Corson. In the flesh. The bitch is back.

[Corson (Mac)]

My dear. May I?

[Cash (Lily)]

May you what?

[Corson (Mac)]

Forgive me.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'll coarsen my cheek.

[Corson (Mac)]

You're really home. You're home. This isn't a game.

[Cash (Lily)]

I thought you like. You loved games. Can I give you a hug?

[Corson (Mac)]

I hate hugs. But for this, I'll make an exception.

[Cash (Lily)]

Thank you.

[Corson (Mac)]

That's long enough.

[Cash (Lily)]

Okay.

[Corson (Mac)]

Would you care to join us for a game of Baldash?

[Cash (Lily)]

There's something I have to do first. Something very important.

[Corson (Mac)]

What is it?

[Cash (Lily)]

Follow me. Oh, my God. These Breeders videos are amazing. I can't believe this is what I've been missing out on.

[Corson (Mac)]

I can't believe I'm the one that's saying this, but maybe slow down a little. Speaking as someone who choked on one of these things for a very, very long time, it's an unpleasant experience. One of the only times I wish dead people could die.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'll try to slow down. Mac, they're just so good.

[Corson (Mac)]

And it's so good to see you finally enjoying them.

[Cash (Lily)]

Which one should I try next?

[Corson (Mac)]

I think you're ready for Lawrence and Debbie. Salty and sweet. And even better when you toss on a little thought sauce.

[Cash (Lily)]

You mean hot sauce.

[Corson (Mac)]

I do not. You know about thought sauce, Cash. Helps you remember where you left your keys. But also deliciously caliente. Cash, as much as your chewing sounds disgust me, I, too, am enjoying witnessing your enjoyment.

[Cash (Lily)]

Same.

[Corson (Mac)]

But, Cash, as you can imagine, we have a lot of questions.

[Cash (Lily)]

I can imagine. So do you think maybe you can answer them? I. I already know what you're going to ask me, and, Well, I can't tell you. You just have to trust me. Okay, wait.

[Corson (Mac)]

So that's it? You spend all that time on the physical plane, and you come back and we're just supposed to, what, not care what happened? What you learned?

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm not saying you shouldn't care.

[Corson (Mac)]

Then what are you saying?

[Cash (Lily)]

We have to go back.

[Corson (Mac)]

Back where? Home. What does that even mean?

[Cash (Lily)]

I. The physical plane. We're supposed to go back. The prime mover gave me a message. Tindy. You told me where to take it.

[Corson (Mac)]

I did.

[Cash (Lily)]

You did. Forge and Flora. It helped me find them. The sisters.

[Corson (Mac)]

You found Xochilloquy and what's her face.

[Cash (Lily)]

Siwa Kotl. Guys, I know what you're doing. You're just gonna keep asking questions, and I'm just gonna have to keep telling you. No. You need to stop. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Cash, nobody's trying to make you do anything. We're just. Yes, you are. You're trying to make me tell you something. And I already told you what you need to know.

[Corson (Mac)]

And we're just supposed to what, eat a couple burritos and then waltz our way down the road and back into life? You just got here. And I don't know if you noticed, but this place is pretty great. We're all together finally. Corson's here, too. Why would you want to leave? Well, aren't you gonna say something?

[Cash (Lily)]

I already said what I have to say. Cash, sweetie, what's Going on? What's going on is we need to go home.

[Corson (Mac)]

I ain't going nowhere.

[Cash (Lily)]

Fine. Then just stay. Stay here. Just stay here and ruin everything.

[Corson (Mac)]

Cash, it's okay. If we did go back, how would we even do it? Are you serious? Tandy, this isn't okay. This isn't okay at all.

[Cash (Lily)]

Just trust me.

[Corson (Mac)]

That's not a fair thing to ask. You're acting just like him.

[Cash (Lily)]

Like who?

[Corson (Mac)]

You know who. The prime mover. Secrets.

[Cash (Lily)]

Well, maybe he knows something you don't.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, you think? Do you have any idea how many tears I cried over you? How much time I spent thinking about you, worrying you wouldn't come back? How much time I spent sitting next to your grave, wishing I could bury myself with your frames?

[Cash (Lily)]

There's a grave?

[Corson (Mac)]

Yeah, Cash, there's a grave.

[Cash (Lily)]

It's just a soldier in humanoid frame. That's not me.

[Corson (Mac)]

Yeah, maybe it's not. Those frames were my friends. Those frames didn't keep secrets from me.

[Cash (Lily)]

You have no idea how hard this is.

[Corson (Mac)]

You're right, I don't. Cuz I don't keep secrets from you, Mack.

[Cash (Lily)]

No, he's right. I can't tell you what you want to know. I can't tell you who you are. I can't tell you your name or how you died. I can't. There's a reason you're not supposed to know, and that's that.

[Corson (Mac)]

That's that. Got it?

[Cash (Lily)]

Course. Then where are you going? Stop fighting until I get back. I'll talk to him. No, I'll talk to him. I don't want to be in here anymore anyways. Cash.

[Corson (Mac)]

Well, that was interesting. That's not Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

Yeah, it is. And I'm gonna talk to her. And when we come back, you're going to apologize.

[Corson (Mac)]

For what?

[Cash (Lily)]

For lashing out at her like that.

[Corson (Mac)]

She's being mean.

[Cash (Lily)]

Yeah, she is. And we don't know why. And you're being an ass. And we do know why. Uh, because you're mad at her for leaving you here. You blame her for all the grief and heartache. You couldn't be mad at her when she was gone without feeling guilty. Now she's back. And you better find a better way to deal with that feeling. Cause Robo girl is hurting. Or did you not see it?

[Corson (Mac)]

God, you work me sometimes. Go talk to her and I'll reflect. Okay.

[Cash (Lily)]

Good. Have some candy.

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm not a kid.

[Cash (Lily)]

Yeah, you kinda are.

[Corson (Mac)]

I hate when she acts like that. Acts like what? You. Oh, go to hell. Tandy, hand me those Skittles. Here you go, Mac. Don't eat too many. You don't want to ruin your supper. Oh, you mother.

[Cash (Lily)]

Whoa, whoa, whoa there, sister. What is it, Nani? I need to find Corson. Corson will be fine. You want to tell me what's going on? Nothing's going on. I'm just trying to help. If Mac doesn't want to listen, that's fine. What do you want me to say? I don't know. What do you want to say? Nothing. Cash. I hate keeping secrets. I learned so much on the physical plane, Nonnie. So much. And I can't tell you guys any of it. Why? I can't even tell you why. I would settle for even the tiniest little why. Like, why, Junior? Like lowercase Y. I can see it. See what? Your. Your souls.

[Corson (Mac)]

What?

[Cash (Lily)]

Get out of town. How? What's mine look like? I bet it's adorable. And a little scary. Like a kitten with a lion's mane and a pack of cigarettes rolled up in its sleeves. You have a beautiful soul, Nani. You all do. But it hit me when I got here, when I saw Mac and Tendi and even you, I understood. Understood, Little Case. What? Why he's doing what he's doing. Who? The prime mover. And I hate it. I hate it because it requires that something stay hidden until the right time. I hate it because it makes it where people get hurt, even though I know revealing everything would only hurt them worse. You hate it because it feels like playing games with people. Like we're pawns and you're the cruel chess master. Yes. You're so cool. What? You're so cool. You're all mysterious and stuff, and you're navigating the murky waters of the human heart, and it's just. Well, I'm very impressed. It doesn't feel impressive. Well, that's because you're humble. I hear that's actually a really nice character trait. I might try it sometime. But now's not the time for humility. It's also not time to be a little snarky punk. I mean, you look like a teenager, but. I'm not trying to be a snarky punk. I'm just trying to. Protect yourself. I don't want anyone to be mad at me, but what can I do to stop? Nothing. That's what I was scared you might say. I can't think of anyone I'd rather have playing with my soul, Cash. You know why? Cause you're a good leader through and through. You're a leader, Nonnie. I'M just an assistant. Uh. What? First off, Me? A bossypants? Yes. A leader. A little. But I don't like to be in charge. It's not fun. Too much responsibility. And it takes a fun far more serious mind than my own. A mind like yours. Why not Mac? Why not Tindy? You know why. Every one of us has a little growing up to do. But you. I think maybe you were born grown up. I. Maybe you're right, Kash. One thing about being a leader is leaders have to be able to lead with their hearts exposed. You got no more robo armor, robo girl. Just whatever passes for flesh here. You can't just tell us what's what and then get mad when we don't like it. And if everyone's mad at me. You think that going back to the physical plane is the right thing to do in your heart of hearts, is it what's best for us? It is. I know it is. Then let them get mad. Let me get mad. Let us think you're making a mistake. We'll get over it. And eventually we're gonna that. You were right. I wish you could see it now. And I wish I'd worn a more comfortable outfit when I died. But here we are. I love you, Nonnie. Of course you do. I'm amazing. You go talk to Corson now. And Cash, maybe you can tell him a little more than you told us. It might do you some good. Yeah. Yeah, maybe so. Thanks, Nani.

[Corson (Mac)]

This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of making something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, There's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and old number seven are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. Limu emu. And Doug, here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty Liberty. Liberty Savings Ferry Unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance Company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. Hey, Corson, are we gonna start this game or not? My tea cooled off ages ago. I'm ready to Boulder Dash.

[Cash (Lily)]

Jeez, what's with the silent treatment? Hi, guys.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, hey there. You're probably Looking for the gas station. It's across the highway there. You can't miss it. Big neon sign. That's not a traveler, Greg.

[Cash (Lily)]

What do you mean, not a traveler? You're not even looking at her, Miss. Don't pay any attention to him. He's in a mood.

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm in no mood, Betty. That's not a traveler. It's Cash. Wait, what?

[Cash (Lily)]

Hi, Craig. Hi, Betty.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, my goodness. Jesus Murphy. Heaven. The Betty. Bless my lucky stars and pour me a bloody Caesar.

[Cash (Lily)]

Don't mind him. He's just having a stroke. Oh, Cash, it's so good to see you. I looked everywhere on the physical plane for you. You're so young. I am. And I'm not. It's so good to see you, Betty. You too, Greg.

[Corson (Mac)]

Gosh, it's good to have you back. And look at you, little lady. Ain't she just the cutest, Betty?

[Cash (Lily)]

Oh, she's a beaut.

[Corson (Mac)]

It's been so long, Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

Not for me. It's only been a week. Time is strange here. I can't wait to catch up with you guys. But I need to have a word with Corson.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, okay. We'll skedaddle. Come on, Betty. We can wait at the station. Love you, Cash. Glad you're home.

[Cash (Lily)]

Thank you. Well, I wish I could hug Corset. This is unbelievable. Is it the sign? Bolts and Thunder. It's beautiful. Why?

[Corson (Mac)]

Why what?

[Cash (Lily)]

Why Bolts and Thunder. I'm honored. I'm beyond honored. It's quite possibly the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me.

[Corson (Mac)]

I had hoped.

[Cash (Lily)]

Hoped?

[Corson (Mac)]

Do you know why I play games, Kash?

[Cash (Lily)]

You love them more than anything.

[Corson (Mac)]

One might assume so. I mean, I do love them. But I don't love them more than anything. I don't love them more than my friends. Games are fun. They're creative, challenging. But games are also a way to escape. Escape the feelings of being alone, of being unwanted, of feeling abandoned. Everyone assumes that Boats and Thunder was built as a monument. A monument to your memory. And why wouldn't they? It's the. The only thing that makes sense to them, I suppose. And I concede they're correct on some level. But I'd always hoped. No, Believed. Believed that you would come back to us. And that perhaps.

[Cash (Lily)]

Perhaps what?

[Corson (Mac)]

You would want to work here with me.

[Cash (Lily)]

Corson, I would have loved nothing more.

[Corson (Mac)]

Really? You've been back but for a moment and already you plan to leave again?

[Cash (Lily)]

I. We have to.

[Corson (Mac)]

Nonsense.

[Cash (Lily)]

I don't think you understand.

[Corson (Mac)]

How long were you gone, Cash? How long was it There.

[Cash (Lily)]

Six, maybe seven days here.

[Corson (Mac)]

It was ages. Ages. He wouldn't burden me with this. But it nearly broke Mac. And had I not had Olenez to help acclimate to his new role as Sphere Mover and had not had the construction of this place to keep me busy, I too may have broken. If you leave now to go back to the physical plane, you'll be gone for longer. Much longer. I'll be alone.

[Cash (Lily)]

Until we finish our lives properly. Finish them. No matter what happens, we'll be back. And we'll find you.

[Corson (Mac)]

How do you know?

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm sorry, Corson. If I had a choice.

[Corson (Mac)]

You always have a choice.

[Cash (Lily)]

Not this time, Corson. You won't be alone. Betty and Greg will be here. You'll have Weiwei.

[Corson (Mac)]

No one has seen that coyote in ages. And Betty and Greg are fine people. But may I show you something?

[Cash (Lily)]

Of course. A game.

[Corson (Mac)]

Open it. It's you. Olenius, when he still called himself Grim, destroyed your register frame. It had to be replaced. The attendants and Nonni. They buried you.

[Cash (Lily)]

Not me. My frames.

[Corson (Mac)]

They held a service and everything. They thought they'd buried this along with your humanoid frame. But I took it from the box when they weren't looking. I've been slowly reconstructing it. I don't know that it will ever turn on again.

[Cash (Lily)]

Why did you keep this?

[Corson (Mac)]

You were my first real friend. You didn't treat me like a threat. You made me believe I could be more than a villain.

[Cash (Lily)]

Place it on the table.

[Corson (Mac)]

Why do you think you can fix it? Why are you closing your eye? My stars. How did you.

[Cash (Lily)]

It's a gift.

[Corson (Mac)]

You can move without a body.

[Cash (Lily)]

Carson. I need your help. We need your help. We can't do this without you.

[Corson (Mac)]

Do what?

[Cash (Lily)]

Go home, Cash.

[Corson (Mac)]

This. This is your home. You've been here so much longer than Lily. I'm sorry.

[Cash (Lily)]

That's my name. It's short for Lillian.

[Corson (Mac)]

Lily. Your name is Lily.

[Cash (Lily)]

And you can't tell anyone. Not yet.

[Corson (Mac)]

Then why? Why tell me?

[Cash (Lily)]

To help. You realize, Corson. Cash is Lily. Lily is Cash. But I'm not this boss. I never was. It was just my home for a while. And before it was home, I was just a girl on the physical plane and.

[Corson (Mac)]

Say what you need, my dear.

[Cash (Lily)]

And something happened, Corson. Something terrible.

[Corson (Mac)]

What was it?

[Cash (Lily)]

The less you know, the better. Just let me say this. It can be undone. It has to be undone. Or else.

[Corson (Mac)]

Or else what?

[Cash (Lily)]

Just please trust me.

[Corson (Mac)]

Of course I trust you. But.

[Cash (Lily)]

And please help me. Help us.

[Corson (Mac)]

But how can I help you're? Going back to the physical plane. I cannot follow.

[Cash (Lily)]

Come on, Corson. Let's go back to the station. I'll explain there.

[Corson (Mac)]

Maybe it's just a coincidence that.

[Cash (Lily)]

Cass, you're back. And you brought a friend. Hi, everyone. Listen, I'm sorry for.

[Corson (Mac)]

Don't you dare apologize. I'm sorry, Cash. I know you got your reasons for not telling us everything. Doesn't mean it feels good. It doesn't. But you've always been such a good friend to me. You've never given me a reason to not trust you. I think there's just. And I know this isn't fair. It's stupid. I think there's just a part of me that's still mad that you were gone so long. And another part of me that's mad that you just got back and you're already telling us we need to leave. The first part wasn't your fault. And the second one probably isn't your fault either. It's just how I feel.

[Cash (Lily)]

I think that's a perfectly normal way to feel, Mac. Thank you for telling me. Listen, when I got here, I gorged myself on so many burritos that I'm still a little sick to my stomach.

[Corson (Mac)]

As am I. From witnessing it.

[Cash (Lily)]

Thank you, Corson. What I'm trying to say is this. Imagine what it would be like if you'd started out here with every burrito there was and ever would be.

[Corson (Mac)]

Sounds awesome.

[Cash (Lily)]

Does it? Because, Mac, I was here to witness the excitement you experienced when. Whenever a new flavor arrived. I mean, we were all a little sad when someone tried to go back and ended up microwavable. But that was soon replaced with your delight. Delight at tasting a new flavor. These moments have been interspersed throughout your existence here. They arrived at the right time and have only increased your joy over time. As hard as it is, I'm not keeping secrets from you, Mac. I'm keeping secrets for you. And if it helps, try not to think of them as secrets. Maybe think of them as a microwavable revelation that's meant to serve you at the appropriate time. If you feel angry about that, that's okay. I understand. It's a burden I'm willing to accept. Just know that I love you guys more than anything. And that I would never do anything to hurt you. I've seen what can happen if we go back to the physical plane. And it's. Listen, if it's too hard knowing that there's things I'm keeping from you, I'll walk over to that new cash unit and Write a protocol that makes me forget everything. Everything I learned. Everything. I can leave some simple instructions. No, cash.

[Corson (Mac)]

I don't want you to do that. Look, I'm not the smartest man, but you are. I mean, not a man, but it's gotta be hard to ask us to step out in trust. And if I didn't know how much you care about us, I wouldn't even start to consider it. But love plus smart, That's a combination I'm willing get to get behind.

[Cash (Lily)]

Thank you, Mac. So what's the answer? How do we get back? I don't know. But I think the answer's out there.

[Corson (Mac)]

Really? I can get it. One sec.

[Cash (Lily)]

Not outside the station, Mac. Out there. As in on the astral plane. We have to find it together. Oh, me and Gray can help with that.

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm pretty good at getting around.

[Cash (Lily)]

And we got the plane too.

[Corson (Mac)]

Should I get her prepped?

[Cash (Lily)]

Thank you. For? For being willing, but no. We need you here. Greg. Tendi. Remember what the prime mover said? The purpose of the spheres?

[Corson (Mac)]

Yeah. Refinement.

[Cash (Lily)]

I've seen the spheres, guys. I know them intimately. And it's true. The astral plane isn't just some weird collection of odd spirits and beautiful locations. It's a journey that's meant to remove the weight of darkness travelers accumulated throughout their time on the physical plane. Meant to equip them for the next life. I think maybe it might equip us for the first one.

[Corson (Mac)]

So you're saying we gotta go forward before we can go back?

[Cash (Lily)]

Maybe sometimes you gotta die a little before you can truly live.

[Corson (Mac)]

So what now? You leave and we never see you again.

[Cash (Lily)]

Corsen, come with us. We can use your help out there.

[Corson (Mac)]

Can you really?

[Cash (Lily)]

I want you with us.

[Corson (Mac)]

You'd ask me to be complicit in actions that lead to your departure?

[Cash (Lily)]

Yes.

[Corson (Mac)]

How can you ask me to do that?

[Cash (Lily)]

Because you love me.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh. Why do you keep breaking my heart?

[Cash (Lily)]

That's what families do, Corson. Okay. Tendi and I visited the coyotes. They know what to tell Weiwei whenever he comes back here. At least I think they do.

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm sure they do. I'm all done here. Cass, your skylark is ready to depart. Gas tank is full. Windshield wiper fluid is also full.

[Cash (Lily)]

Should we put some supplies in the trunk?

[Corson (Mac)]

That is also full?

[Cash (Lily)]

With what? Uh, pop the trunk. Mac.

[Corson (Mac)]

Um. No.

[Cash (Lily)]

Mac.

[Corson (Mac)]

Fine.

[Cash (Lily)]

Okay. Explain.

[Corson (Mac)]

It's one of every item we keep in the store. About 6 gallons of Shack juice, 4 of each. Burrito packed on ice. A portable microwave My book of childhood memories. My favorite rock.

[Cash (Lily)]

Mac, I'm sorry. You're gonna have to put something back.

[Corson (Mac)]

But why? We're gonna get hungry. We're gonna crave a particular snack. We're gonna need a drink to take the edges off.

[Cash (Lily)]

Mack.

[Corson (Mac)]

What?

[Cash (Lily)]

Mack.

[Corson (Mac)]

What?

[Cash (Lily)]

I know what you're doing.

[Corson (Mac)]

What am I doing?

[Cash (Lily)]

You packed Desert skies to take with us. Like the station. The whole station.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, come on, Cash.

[Cash (Lily)]

Then what's that?

[Corson (Mac)]

That is for. It's.

[Cash (Lily)]

It's the hose mechanic from one of the pumps.

[Corson (Mac)]

We might need it for. Yeah, I guess we don't need it. Okay, I've brought my. What in the devil is all that? What in the devil is all that? It's some of my favorite board games. Do you really need five of them?

[Cash (Lily)]

Five?

[Corson (Mac)]

You must be joking. I still have 25 more back in the store. You're bringing 30 games? Cash, speak some sense into this human.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm sorry, Corson. I think you're gonna have to leave some behind. How many? 25.

[Corson (Mac)]

I can only take five games.

[Cash (Lily)]

And what's in the bag?

[Corson (Mac)]

The bag is non negotiable. The bag is huge, Corson. It's my wardrobe.

[Cash (Lily)]

I'm sorry, Corson. There's just no way.

[Corson (Mac)]

Just take some of these snacks out. We are not taking some of the snacks.

[Cash (Lily)]

Yes, we are.

[Corson (Mac)]

No, we're not.

[Cash (Lily)]

Fine.

[Corson (Mac)]

I'm not going. I'm not going either.

[Cash (Lily)]

Then stop it, Mac. Ten snacks, one styrofoam ice test with your favorite burritos, one gallon of shack juice. Gas pump, hose out. Courson. Five games, three of them small and two outfits, tops.

[Corson (Mac)]

But if that's it, we have enough room for at least three more styrofoam coolers.

[Cash (Lily)]

Perfect. That's how much space I.

[Corson (Mac)]

What are the blazers for?

[Cash (Lily)]

You'll see. Don't worry, it's compactable.

[Corson (Mac)]

Okay, Greg and Betty have the rundown on running the station and using the radio. I cannot believe we're gonna get to run a gas station. Betty.

[Cash (Lily)]

I know. It's like the one thing we've never done before.

[Corson (Mac)]

Orson, don't worry about your game store. We'll put it to good use. You're not stepping foot inside while I'm gone. Noted. I guess that that's it.

[Cash (Lily)]

Not quite. Do you guys mind waiting here while Mac and I put some stuff back in the station?

[Corson (Mac)]

I told you that was too many snacks. Mac.

[Cash (Lily)]

Tendy.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, sorry, Mac. It's fine.

[Cash (Lily)]

All right. That's everything back in its place.

[Corson (Mac)]

Yeah, I guess it is. Come on, let's go.

[Cash (Lily)]

No, not yet, Mac.

[Corson (Mac)]

Why? What's left?

[Cash (Lily)]

You've been here longer than any of us. I think it's perfectly normal to feel sad about leaving.

[Corson (Mac)]

You're not?

[Cash (Lily)]

I spent most of my time in a cave, looking out through a register. But for you, this place has been like an extension of your body. I'm gonna miss it. Maybe not as much as you. And besides, I can't shake this funny feeling.

[Corson (Mac)]

What?

[Cash (Lily)]

Something tells me we're not done with this place. I can feel it in my bones. I. I have those now. But listen, Mac, it doesn't matter how I feel about it. It's how you feel. I'm gonna go outside now and give you some time to yourself.

[Corson (Mac)]

For what?

[Cash (Lily)]

To say goodbye. Take all the time you need, huh?

[Corson (Mac)]

Just when you think you're done grieving. Alright. Goodbye, microwave. You remember the time I put a burrito in you and I went to put 2 minutes, but accidentally added that extra 0? Smoke started pouring out of you and I could swear I heard that little piece of a traveler's soul scream out in pain. Tendi said you were broken, but I told him no. Took you outside, gave you a good scrub down, let the smell of smoke fade a bit. You were good as new. Thanks for all the good times. Goodbye, hot dog warmer. You always flew above your station, you know that? Hot dog warmer? You were in everything warmer. The way you could soften up an old twin hootsie roll or make a licorice rope so flexible you could knit with it. Good times, man, good times. Goodbye, soda dispenser. When I'd heard that fizzy sound boiling up in my cup, it put me at ease. I've never heard the sound of the ocean, not that I can remember. But I bet it doesn't hold a candle to the fizz that only you can make. Goodbye, desert skies. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss the smell of your freshly mopped floors, the weird sounds that came from the storage closet. The pitter patter of Courson's rain on your roof. You've been the backdrop of all my favorite memories. You've been the place where I made all my closest friends. And now I'm gonna go with them. And we're gonna get a chance to live our lives again. Maybe. We'll see. I don't know what's gonna happen to you. But I know one thing. You made me a better man. So long, Frank. It's been a gasp. Gas. That's good. Goodbye.

[Cash (Lily)]

And you can say that I'm crazy that you think you're not ready But I'm telling you, baby get up and.

[Corson (Mac)]

Get out get up and get out get up and get out get up and get in get up and get.

[Cash (Lily)]

Out get up and get out hey, Mack. You all right?

[Corson (Mac)]

Yeah, I'm okay. We ready to go?

[Cash (Lily)]

There is one more thing. Follow me in your grave.

[Corson (Mac)]

Why'd you want to come here?

[Cash (Lily)]

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone. When I look at this grave, it tells me how much I'm loved. I'm sorry that I was gone for as long as I was. You had no control over that. Yeah, I guess for me, it's just been an instant. And now that I'm back, I'm asking you to do something incredibly hard. In a way, I'm even asking myself. But I know it's important. We trust you, Cash. You can trust yourself, too. Thank you, Nani.

[Corson (Mac)]

Why tell us here, Kash? This sad, morbid place. Don't get me wrong, I love the vibe.

[Cash (Lily)]

But there's one more thing I think we should pack.

[Corson (Mac)]

Her eyes went empty. Cashew in there. What in the blazes is that sound?

[Cash (Lily)]

I thought this might come in handy.

[Corson (Mac)]

Oh, hell yeah. This episode was written, produced and performed by me. Jared Carter. The show's executive producer is the mover and shaker, Michael Freiberg. Thanks for listening. Glad to be back. Safe travels.

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[Corson (Mac)]

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