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I always tell my own children, go to school, enjoy yourself, have good friends, make sure you do good things, work as hard as you can. I don't expect you to come out first. I just expect you to do as best as you could have, the best you could have done, and that's it. You come back home, you say, dad, you know what? I just got 70 for maths. I'll say, well done. Did you enjoy the subject? Was it nice? Did you make some good friends? Did you enjoy the company? How did you develop yourself? Alhamdulillah? Those are more important things than one mark or two marks. Don't stress, don't stress. Don't ever be depressed by the fact that you got two points less of an A. I know people who've got one point less than an A and they are so depressed because of that one mark. Come on, come on. You did so well. Think about those who lost their parents through the year and had to go into those exams without parents, without siblings, with people whom they've lost, people who had armed robberies at home, people who were shot at and have limbs that are perhaps not there anymore and they had to go into the exams. Think about those. Think about the people who didn't even make it to those exams. Think about others who've already passed on and something happened and their parents couldn't afford the fee or whatever it may have been. Wallahi, there are people in worse off scenarios than you. Do not be depressed and despondent. Thank Allah you're okay. Allah has you exactly where he wants you. The only question you need to ask yourself, did I work hard? If the answer is yes, then don't blame yourself. If the answer is no, you share a portion of the blame you do, but not in order to become depressed. In order to learn a less lesson that I need to work harder next time and take things seriously.
Episode Title: Mufti Menk's Advice to His Children
Host/Author: Digital Islamic Reminder
Release Date: February 18, 2025
In this heartfelt episode of Digital Islamic Reminder, renowned scholar Mufti Menk shares profound advice directed towards his children. Drawing from personal experiences and Islamic teachings, Mufti Menk emphasizes the importance of personal development, resilience, and gratitude. His guidance is not only timeless but also universally applicable, resonating with listeners striving to balance worldly pursuits with spiritual well-being.
Mufti Menk begins by encouraging his children to prioritize a well-rounded education. He advises them to "go to school, enjoy yourself, have good friends, make sure you do good things, work as hard as you can" (00:00). The focus is not solely on academic excellence but also on building character, fostering friendships, and engaging in meaningful activities.
A significant portion of the discussion centers around redefining success. Mufti Menk states, "I don't expect you to come out first. I just expect you to do as best as you could have, the best you could have done, and that's it" (00:30). He underscores that personal effort and satisfaction in one's endeavors hold more value than merely securing high grades.
Beyond academic achievements, Mufti Menk stresses the importance of enjoying the learning process and developing oneself. He probes his children with questions like, "Did you enjoy the subject? Was it nice? Did you make some good friends? Did you enjoy the company? How did you develop yourself?" (01:00). This approach fosters a love for learning and personal growth rather than a pursuit of grades alone.
One of the most poignant parts of Mufti Menk’s advice is his encouragement to maintain perspective during challenging times. He urges, "Don't stress, don't stress. Don't ever be depressed by the fact that you got two points less of an A" (01:45). By comparing personal struggles with those faced by others who endure severe hardships, he aims to alleviate unnecessary stress and promote gratitude.
Mufti Menk emphasizes resilience, advising his children to reflect on their efforts: "The only question you need to ask yourself, did I work hard?" (02:30). If the answer is affirmative, he encourages them not to blame themselves for outcomes beyond their control. If not, he advises using it as a learning experience to enhance future efforts.
Central to his guidance is the concept of trusting Allah's plan. Mufti Menk assures, "Think about those who didn't even make it to those exams... Allah has you exactly where he wants you" (03:00). This reliance fosters a sense of peace and acceptance, reinforcing that one's current situation is part of a greater divine plan.
On Effort Over Outcome:
"I don't expect you to come out first. I just expect you to do as best as you could have, the best you could have done, and that's it." (00:30)
On Maintaining Perspective:
"Think about those who lost their parents through the year... Think about those who didn't even make it to those exams." (01:45)
On Self-Reflection:
"The only question you need to ask yourself, did I work hard?" (02:30)
On Trusting Allah's Plan:
"Allah has you exactly where he wants you." (03:00)
Mufti Menk's advice transcends the immediate context of academic performance, offering timeless wisdom on personal development, resilience, and spiritual growth. By encouraging his children to strive for their best, maintain a positive outlook, and trust in Allah's plan, he provides a balanced approach to life's challenges. Listeners are reminded to value effort over outcome, find joy in their pursuits, and remain grateful for their blessings, all while striving to grow both personally and spiritually.
This episode serves as a motivational guide for individuals seeking to harmonize their worldly ambitions with their spiritual aspirations, reinforcing the importance of inner peace, gratitude, and unwavering faith.
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