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O Abu Dharr, you will live alone, die alone, and be raised up alone on the Day of Judgment. Some people were not meant to be surrounded by others, but most of us were. In fact, one of the roots of the word insan in Arabic is uns, which is a word used to describe the comfort that comes with special human connection. So human beings seek comfort through connecting with others. And Allah created us to be within families, extended families, neighborhoods and communities. That's why the Sunnah has created all types of spaces of community and belonging. The five daily prayers at the Masjid, the Taraweeh prayers at night in Ramadan, sharing meals and feeding people together. And even when traveling, the Prophet advised to always have a companion. In some narrations, he even forbids spending the night alone or traveling by yourself if you have the choice not to. Why? The Prophet said that Shaitan is like a wolf that always attacks the lone sheep. So stay close to the community and do not isolate yourself. That's actually partly why it's an act of worship to have a walema after a wedding and aqiqa after a newborn. The Prophet praised circles of knowledge and remembrance as gardens of paradise that the angels roam around the streets every night looking for. Allah created nearly everything in Paris. And of all things, we created pairs so that perhaps you will remember. Musa asked for Allah to give him in his brother a prophet, Ushtud bihi Azriah, strengthen me through him and let him share with me in my burden. Some of the scholars said that no one has ever done a greater favor for someone else like Musa. Through his dua, his brother was made a prophet. And of course, human beings crave for a spouse to find comfort from loneliness. From his signs is that he created for you spouses from yourselves so that you can dwell with them in tranquility. The Prophet encouraged marriage so strongly that he said, marriage is from my Sunnah, and whoever turns away from my Sunnah is not from me. And it's a bond that fosters love and mercy. Imam Al Razi comments on this by saying that one of the signs of Allah in marriage is that a person can have even more love for a person that they just met a few months ago than the family they've known their entire lives. And the best unions are the ones that bring families together. The people that loved you before and the people that you are to love now, whereby you give everyone their right and grow the circle of mercy and tranquility. And before you know it, you may have a new life ahead of you and a partner to Share it with you. Your destinies are now forever tied with each other. In Jannah, no one is single. And if two people make it to Jannah together, they have each other there too. So you might actually be marrying a piece of your Jannah here. And just as your life was filled with beautiful moments in this world, Allah will make your spouse the most beautiful part of your Jannah if you do the righteous deeds that earn his pleasure together. But what if loneliness is your decree here and beyond marriage? Why would that even be the case? At different points of your life, the scholars mention various types of loneliness. When you're without a companion or a friend or a family member, it is difficult, but it could be to unlock the gifts of khalwa, seclusion and learning to ponder upon the signs of Allah without the distraction of people. Then there's the loneliness of estrangement. And that's the hardest type. When people leave you because of who you are or who you are naturally causes you to drift away from people. You can have loneliness decreed upon you because you have such bad character and no one wants to be around you. And the Prophet said that the worst person is the one that people abandon because they don't want to deal with their foul mouths. So Allah could be prescribing you loneliness in that form so that you can finally work on your temper or bad character, so that you don't alienate the people you love anymore. And the same thing is true for sin and lowliness. Some people around you might want to break bad habits that cause them failure in this life or the next. And you get left behind stuck in them with Allah giving you a warning to get your priorities right. Then the right type of people will be put back into your life. But Subhanallah, sometimes it's not your sins that push you away from people. Sometimes it's actually your good deeds and the new higher standards that set you apart. And that's the praiseworthy estrangement known as ghurba. Because when we grow in our faith and abandon old lifestyles, we can lose old friends. And some family members can even become distant. So as Ibn Al Qayyim explains, it's not that loneliness is in and of itself a spiritual station, but when a person rises in rank, their loneliness can be a decreed consequence from Allah. As he says, the Ohashahuman Ghairi, the knower of Allah, finds closeness to him, which causes him distance from other than him. So both the good deed and the bad deed can lead to a decree of being alienated from other people. But whether it's through what Allah has decreed, through physical loneliness, estrangement, waiting to find your spouse, or not having your friends and family with you anymore, finding Allah as a result is the greatest qadr you can have. Whether people are around or not. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says in a hadith Qudsi, I am what my servant thinks of me, and I am with him when he remembers me. If he remembers me in himself, I will remember him in myself, and if he remembers me in a gathering, I make mention of him in a greater gathering than his. When Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala decrees a loss of rizq in possessions and you are patient, he gifts you with a greater possession in paradise. But when Allah decrees for you loneliness and a loss of people and you are patient, he gives you something far better than that he gives you himself. When he alienates you from his creatures, then know that he wants to open for you the door of intimacy with him. Accepting that someone you wanted to be with before has been chosen for someone else can be the path to tasting the sweetness of Iman. Regret over something bad you did to someone else could be the key to treating everyone else Allah puts in your path with Ihsan. But we sometimes neglect the people that have always been there for us in our lives. While seeking new people. Contentment is to look at your current sustenance as a lot while not despairing over what you don't have when it comes to relationships. It's also to look at who you currently have but might not have been paying attention to, all while enjoying the new companions Allah may have gifted you with. But in that excitement of finding someone else, you may end up having to say goodbye to those who never forgot you and who eagerly used to wait for you to remember them, even with a simple call.
