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Digital Social Hour
3 Miracles That Saved My Life | Kevin Hines DSH #1060
01:02:12
3 Miracles That Saved My Life - Kevin Hines shares his incredible journey of survival and hope after jumping from the Golden Gate Bridge. In this powerful conversation, Kevin reveals the extraordinary chain of events that saved his life that day: a...
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- [00:00]
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- [00:31]
Kevin Hines
I shattered three vertebrae immediately upon impact. They splintered inside me. I missed severing my spinal cord by 2 millimeters. And then at one point, I could not make my way back to the surface. I was drowning. And I simply prayed, God, please save me. I don't want to die. I made a mistake on repeat.
- [00:57]
Sean Mike Kelly
All right, guys. Digital Social hour here with Kevin Hines. We've been trying to set this up for a while. Thanks for finally coming on, man.
- [01:02]
Kevin Hines
I'm so glad to be here, Sean. Thank you for having me.
- [01:04]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah, I think we're going to impact a lot of people this episode.
- [01:06]
Kevin Hines
That's the hope, the wish and the prayer.
- [01:08]
Sean Mike Kelly
Absolutely. A lot of people are probably familiar with your story, but for those who aren't, could you briefly explain what happened?
- [01:13]
Kevin Hines
Absolutely. Born in abject poverty, raised in a crack motel, parents died of drugs and alcohol, got adopted by a beautiful family, lived a great childhood and a beautiful adolescence. However, at 17 and a half, I was diagnosed with bipolar depression, type one with psychotic features, meaning I saw and heard things that no one else could see or hear. I had panic attacks, heart palpitations, and manias and depressions. And due to all of that and a lack of proper treatment, rather a lack of following a treatment plan, at 19, I ended up making my way to the Golden Gate Bridge to attempt to take my life. A method of suicide that is 99.9% fatal. 99.9% of the people that have left off that bridge in the last 90 years of it being open are gone. And I did the unthinkable. I leapt off on the way down. In that 4 second fall, these were the words that rang true in my mind. What have I just done? I don't want to die. God, please save me. I hit the water at £15,000 of pressure. If you don't know, that's like a giant African elephant standing on your chest. I shattered Three vertebrae. Immediately upon impact, they splintered inside me. I missed severing my spinal cord by 2 millimeters. And then at one point, I could not make my way back to the surface. I was drowning. And I simply prayed, God, please save me. I don't want to die. I made a mistake on repeat. And that's when something began circling beneath me. I thought it was a shark. I was terrified. And I really started punching it because I really thought, this thing's going to bite me. I didn't die jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. A shark is going to eat me. Perfect. But it wouldn't go away. It just kept circling beneath my shoulders, my elbows and my knees, bumping me up. And now no longer am I wading or treading in the water. I'm lying atop and on my back being kept afloat by this creature, thinking, this is one hell of a nice shark. I would later learn it was in fact a sea lion. And the people above looking down, believed it to be keeping my body afloat. Until the Coast Guard bought a ride behind me.
- [03:30]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [03:30]
Kevin Hines
And three separate people would report that to the Coast Guard office. And one man named Morgan, who I won't say his last name, wrote to me through ABC News when I was on there telling the story and said, kevin, I'm so very glad you're alive. I was standing less than two feet away from you when you jumped. Until this day, watching this show, no one would tell me whether you lived or died. It's haunted me until right now. By the way, Kevin, there was no shark. Like you mentioned, you thought there was on the show, but there absolutely was a sea lion. And the people above looking down believed it to be keeping our body afloat until the Coast Guard boat arrived behind you. But Sean, the only reason the Coast Guard boat got to my position in the water before I would drown regardless of the sea lion, was because a woman driving by in a red car at the moment of my attempt saw me go over the rail. Called her co worker in the United States Coast Guard, she worked there and who happened to be manning the waters of the bridge at that moment. Those are the two reasons I survived. Next to the third final miracle, which was at the hospital. They took me to Marin Medical Health center, formerly Marin General Hospital, and they had options of which hospital to go. And they were originally going to go somewhere else. But the ambulance decided to go faster to Marin Medical Health Center. One of the foremost back surgeons in the world happened to be visiting for the day. Shout out to Dr. Jonathan Levin, thank you God for him. I had a reunion with him after 22 years last year, which was incredible. He came in, decided to clock in and do my surgery, replacing my shattered vertebrae with titanium.
- [05:14]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [05:15]
Kevin Hines
And he saved me the ability to stand, walk, and I can kind of run.
- [05:20]
Sean Mike Kelly
That's crazy. So three miracles in one.
- [05:22]
Kevin Hines
Three miracles in one experience. Yeah. Yeah.
- [05:24]
Sean Mike Kelly
And did you realize that at the time or did you take some time to reflect back on that?
- [05:28]
Kevin Hines
It took some time.
- [05:30]
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- [05:45]
Prepaid MasterCard Representative
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- [06:31]
Kevin Hines
My father. I'm. I'm Kevin Hines. My dad is Patrick Kevin Hines. Both named after his uncle, my great uncle, Kevin Joseph Ryan, may he rest in peace. And my father, Patrick adopted me and made me his son. And he. He got the call on the day of. This is a man who in my life had never cried in 19 years. Tough sunset Irishman, right? Played hockey as the goalie with no mask, you know.
- [07:03]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [07:03]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, he was a beast. And he gets this call downtown and the person on the other end of the phone goes, Mr. Hines. And he's standing at the time. He goes, yes, your son has just jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge. No icebreaker. And he goes, what is he alive? Thinking as a fourth generation San Franciscan that he's never heard of anyone who survived that fall. He's thinking, I'm dead. And the woman said, yes. And he truly believed in his heart that she was just saying that to get him to ID the body at the morgue safely. So he goes out to his secretary, Rachel. He says, Rachel, I need you to drive me to the hospital. I won't be able to see straight. I'll drive off a cliff. He didn't mean suicide. He meant he couldn't drive. So she drives me to the hospital and I hear my father's footfall coming down the hallway. I know who, exactly who it is. I'm in a bracing structure, you know, and he comes in and this man who'd never cried in 19 years starts bawling like a baby. And his first, his first words were, kevin, I'm sorry. Guilt. And I said, no, dad, I'm sorry. I was awake. And he came over to my left side and he kissed me on the forehead and he said, kevin, you're going to be okay, I promise. Outside of the hospital room, they had just given him a 50, 50 chance I'd live through the night. Wow, Kevin, you're going to be okay. I promise. I held on to that. I needed that. And I fought, I really fought. And the surgery I had took a massive toll on my body. And I would go from a wheelchair to a walker in a back brace to a back brace and a cane in a matter of four and a half weeks is incredible. And, you know, I think about that moment with my dad and seeing his true emotion that I'd never seen before. My dad asked me, I. I asked my dad in the filming of our movie Suicide the Ripple Effect, we made a documentary about this story. I asked my dad in the film as we were shooting if he ever still feared my death by suicide. And he said, kevin, turn off the camera. So we did. And he goes every time the phone rings, he didn't say when I call him. So when the phone goes off in his pocket each and every time, even now, wow. His first and every thought, is Kevin alive? I. I did that. My actions did that. He has severe trauma from what I did. So to the rest of my family. And I feel like I have to take responsibility for that. I have to. You know, when he calls me and he invariably does, and he goes, kevin, are you thinking of killing yourself? I tell him the truth. I live and have lived for 24 years with chronic or semi regular thoughts of suicide. But I won't. I will and have never attempted since the year 2000 off the Golden Gate Bridge. And people say, well, how do you do that when you constantly think about it? I said, it's very easy. I have a two prong technique to never dying by suicide. And I share this with people all around the world. I teach it to them Number one, find a mirror, and any mirror anywhere. I say my thoughts don't have to become my actions. They can simply be my thoughts if they're dangerous to myself or others. My thoughts don't have to own, rule, or define whatever I do next. Thus, I never have to attempt or die in the first place. The second and most important thing I do is I turn to anyone willing to listen. And, Sean, I mean this. If I was suicidal today, which I'm not, and we were here, and here we are together, I would literally say to you four simple but very effective words. I need help now. The difference between me and people around the world who attempt and die by suicide is that I don't stop saying I need help now until someone's willing to answer the call. And frankly, mostly it's my wife Margaret. My lovely wife Margaret, who. Who keeps me on the straight and narrow and keeps me safe in those times of pain. But I have been at the Atlanta airport where I live and stopped a TSA agent and said, I need help now. And dude was like, what do you mean, buddy? I was like, I'm drastically suicidal. I need your help. And my phone had died. I didn't have my charger. And he goes, come with me. And he puts me in a locked room. Three police officers come in, two more security guards, and I'm like, not a threat to the airport or you. I'm suicidal, personally. I have bipolar depression. I need you to help me get hold of my wife and figure this out. So they did. And that was my 10th psych ward stay in 2019.
- [12:12]
Sean Mike Kelly
Whoa.
- [12:13]
Kevin Hines
And so the first three psych ward stays I was in were involuntary. I was forced in against my will. After the Golden Gate Bridge, the last seven psych wards I've been in, and I haven't been in one since 2019. Pre pandemic, the last seven psych wards I've been in, I have walked into those units and said, I need to be here. I won't be here. I effectively saved my own life. And that's what I teach people around the world, is to have agency inside their mental health, to have agency in the idea that you have a choice here. It is not inevitable that you have to take your life. It's not the only option. Just because you happen to be in a world of immense, lethal emotional pain today doesn't mean you don't get to have that beautiful tomorrow. But you have to be here to get there in the first place.
- [13:01]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [13:02]
Kevin Hines
And so those are the messages I share with people everywhere.
- [13:04]
Sean Mike Kelly
I go, yeah, I'm glad you brought up the psych ward because I actually have a distasteful kind of reaction to it. So I'd love to hear your perspective on it. Right before my father's suicide attempt, he was in our suicide. He was in a psych ward. So I kind of have a bitter taste from them. You're sounding like it worked for you, so I'd love to hear your perspective.
- [13:23]
Kevin Hines
Well, there's a, you know, there's. The work for me is probably not the right term. Psych wards as we have them in this country. Not all of them. There. There have been many, many new psych wards that are much more beneficial to people. You know, mood lighting, cooking classes, beautiful murals on the wall when you come in the ambulance, peer protectors that sit with your family and give them the rundown of how to take care of you. Seclusion rooms that don't lock you on a cold metal box shackled to it. No more straight jackets. I've gone through all of that shit in psych wards. Psych wards that I've been in have been both horrible, wonderful. The reason they've been horrible is generally because of some of the staff. You see, there's two factions of staff in a psych ward. Most psych wards, the ones that are just going through the motion 100% hate their job and are just earning a paycheck, as in any job.
- [14:34]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [14:35]
Kevin Hines
And the ones that love what they do are impassioned and emboldened to help people in pain, genuinely care about them and want to see them heal. You can choose in a psych ward to worry more about the ones that don't care about you, that are struggling themselves with burnout, or you can choose to appreciate the ones who've got your back and. And for me, it took me a while, but in my third of ten psych ward stays, I had this kind of epiphany. My Uncle George comes in and he came in against visiting hours. He had a special admit to come in, and he drove like six hours from Arnold, California to see me. And he would always do that. He would always come to my psych ward. Stays. I listened to Uncle George on my mom's side, favorite uncle on my mom's side. And Uncle George comes in and he has a rolled up magazine in his left hand and he goes, kevin, your family and friends can help you until we are blue in the face. But until and when you take 100% responsibility, young man, for the fact that you have this disease and you Fight it tooth and nail, kid. Ain't nothing going to change. You'll be in and out of these places for the rest of your life. Is that what you want? I said, no, Uncle George. And he yelled, well, get it together, kid. We're counting on you. And he slammed the magazine on the table of the cafe. It was empty besides me and him. And he goes, read it. And he left. And I was like, you're not my favorite uncle anymore. But he was already gone. And I picked up the magazine, and I believe it was a 2002 or 2006. No, it was 2004 when I entered. So 2002. It was a 2002 Time magazine article. The front read, how to fight Bipolar Depression, Mental Illness with Routine and regimen and win. And I was like, why didn't my three first psychiatrists ever tell me routine and regimen could help balance brain health? And I go into my room and I'm really pissed off at Uncle George, and I don't want to read this stupid magazine. But I go, okay, what could it hurt, right? So after two hours of staring at the magazine, I read it, the article twice. And I'm like, shit, I can do those things. I could build this routine. So in that very hospital, I go to my nurse, my case manager, Jana from Brooklyn, tough lady. I go, jenna, because I was reading all the magazine, there was lots of steps, and I was like, jenna, do you have a nutritionist in the hospital? She says, yes. I said, I'd like to see her because I'm eating profoundly unwell. I'm well overweight. I was like, I, I ballooned up to nearly £300.
- [17:23]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [17:23]
Kevin Hines
I was well overweight. I was like, I, I, I.
- [17:28]
Sean Mike Kelly
I.
- [17:29]
Kevin Hines
Need to get back on track here. And I was a, I was a WC wrestling champion. I was an athlete my whole life in high school and played football and, and all that. And I end up getting this nutritionist to come see me. And she looks at me and she goes, well, you know, Kevin, you should probably stop ordering four unhealthy meals per one meal a day. I was like, well, you're giving them to me. She was like, we don't want to do that anymore. Let's switch that up. Eat more anti inflammatory foods. Okay, great. So I was introduced to that, and food as medicine is key to brain health. And so I started eating healthier, I started cutting weight, and I realized I was a WCAL wrestling champion. I need to get my body to the ground of my room and I need to get to work So I was like, do you guys have a gym? They're like, son, this is the psych ward. I was like, okay. So I was like, every psych ward, 7 gym, it's in the magazine. So I go and I start training in my room. Every moment I'm not in therapy, which is a lot of time. Every moment I'm not in therapy, I was working out. So I'm cutting the weight, I'm getting in shape. I had a two month stay in that psych ward and I used it to my best advantage. And then finally I started being honest in therapy. Who knew that was a good idea? And I'm telling the truth in therapy and my mom's coming in for therapy with me, my dad's coming in for therapy with me. I'm learning more about them and what they're going through, what they went through with what I did. And it's a healing process. And I do all of these things to better balance my brain health. And I basically end up building a 10 step regimen to safety, to mental wellness. I call it the art of Wellness 2.0. I made a video about it. Thousands of people follow it around the world from as far as Peru, Africa, China, Japan, Canada, the uk, Ireland and beyond. They say that in six to nine months they see a dramatic improvement in their mental health. These are not novel ideas. I didn't invent them. They're, they're both common sense tools and science backed evidence, informed techniques to better brain health and I share them with the world and, and so although I would be in seven more psych ward days, I would walk in myself and say, I got to do this for me.
- [19:27]
Sean Mike Kelly
Right. The mindset was a different than dragon there forcefully. Right.
- [19:30]
Kevin Hines
I took responsibility for my brain disease.
- [19:32]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah. That's what happened with my father. He was forcefully put in, you know, and I think it's a different mindset rather than just walking in there voluntarily.
- [19:39]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, it's rough.
- [19:40]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [19:41]
Kevin Hines
When, when you are fighting at every turn to not go in.
- [19:44]
Sean Mike Kelly
Right.
- [19:45]
Kevin Hines
And then you have, you are forced in and those stressful aspects of a psych ward. And when your father, I mean your father was from a different time. So. Yeah, it was even worse when he was in those psych wards.
- [19:56]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [19:56]
Kevin Hines
There were, there was things that maybe happened in his time that were, that were considered like torture, like probably. Yeah, it was bad. You know, the 1940s psych wards, 1950 psych wards, 1960. I mean, you ever seen One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, like with Jack Nicholson. It's a terrible scene. The things they did in those psych wards. I mean, back in the day, it was just natural. If you had an ailing brain health problem and you were, quote, unquote, untreatable or aberrantly violent, they just lobotomized you.
- [20:26]
Sean Mike Kelly
Damn.
- [20:27]
Kevin Hines
They took this metal piece, they took out a chunk of your brain, and then this is how you were for the rest of your life.
- [20:32]
Sean Mike Kelly
Holy crap.
- [20:33]
Kevin Hines
Just drooling for the rest of your life.
- [20:35]
Sean Mike Kelly
That's terrible.
- [20:36]
Kevin Hines
That was in the 40s, 50s, and 60s, and it was barbaric. You know, there are places in other countries today. I'm not going to name the countries because I don't want people to think badly about them, but there are places in other countries, frankly, a lot in Asia that there are townships and places in those countries that put people who are mentally ill in cages for the rest of their lives. In cages. Sometimes high up in trees. And you see these people and they look like monkeys. Their arms are longer. They're shackled to the cage from their arms, their legs, their necks, Their hair is long. They have beards. They've never been shaved. They've never been cleaned. They're dirty, and they're just dying in those cages.
- [21:18]
Sean Mike Kelly
Terrible.
- [21:18]
Kevin Hines
Like, how do we allow this to happen? There are places around the world, including Middle Eastern countries, that still believe suicide is a crime. And if you survive your attempt, you go straight to prison.
- [21:30]
Sean Mike Kelly
What?
- [21:30]
Kevin Hines
Yes. Like, you know, they let you heal up and then they put you in jail. Like, you know, how is this. How is this okay? You know, we need to be compassionate, loving, empathetic and caring and lacking in judgment to people who go through this. I have to ask you, like, if you don't mind.
- [21:45]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [21:46]
Kevin Hines
What did you go through when you lost your dad and your grandfather?
- [21:49]
Sean Mike Kelly
Definitely I wasn't as close to my grandfather, so that one just upset. But with my father, we were pretty close. So. Guilt, honestly, because I felt like I could have been there for him more. I feel like I could have called him, checked in on him more. He was pretty lonely, pretty isolated, and I feel like I could have visited more and been there more for him. Yeah, you know.
- [22:10]
Kevin Hines
Do you still feel that guilt today?
- [22:12]
Sean Mike Kelly
I've done some healing now, so I would say maybe a little bit, but it's not as strong as it used to be.
- [22:18]
Kevin Hines
I always say to my audiences, you know, I speak 250, 300 times a year. I always speak to my audience and I say, how many people in this audience are here? In part because you've lost someone you know love or care about to suicide. And invariably you see 80, 90, sometimes 100% raise their hands. It's, it's, it's, and it's got, it's gone up since I started, so I.
- [22:37]
Sean Mike Kelly
Didn'T know it was that bad.
- [22:38]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, you see, you see the majority of the people in the audience, it doesn't matter if it's an audience of 30 or an audience of 20, 50,000. They raise their hands.
- [22:46]
Sean Mike Kelly
Damn.
- [22:46]
Kevin Hines
Yeah. And I say, okay, how many of you still feel mildly, moderately or immensely guilty for the loss? And you see still a vast majority of people with their hands up who are being honest. I say, okay, let's stop for a moment. They didn't die because of you. They died because of a lethal emotional pain that had nothing to do with you. That's too much weight for any human being to carry on their shoulders. Brush it off and practice every day looking in the mirror and saying it was not my fault. What we recite, what we repeat about ourselves or our lives is what we believe. Think of every major faith in the world. Recite a prayer, repeat a prayer, believe said prayer. It's scientific in the brain. If you recite and repeat self loathing material, self hating material conversations in your head about how you're useless, worthless or less than, that's what you believe for sure. If you recite and repeat I am wonderful, I am beautiful, I am strong, I am the best, I am the greatest. I'm a phenom. That's what you'll eventually believe. And I learned this myself in part by reading a friend's book, Dr. Lisa Firestone and Dr. Robert Firestone, a father and daughter psychologist team. I read the book Conquering your inner critical voice. It's a bit of an academic read, but, but I'm okay with that. And it was very helpful in me retraining my brain. So when I would, I still go through it sometimes, but when I would self loathe and back in the day, I self love a lot. And a lot of that had to do with my grade school experience in grade school at St. Cecilia's Catholic School. Funnily enough, and I'm a Catholic today, I firmly believe in God. I have a strong faith, but I was in Catholic school as a kid and I was the only mixed race kid in the school. I was part black and part many other things, but very mixed. But they tormented me. The 8th grade kids, basically every Friday like clockwork would take me. When I was in fourth grade, I was a child and they would pick me up, turn me upside down and place me in a garbage can, face first and tell me that's what I was. Because I was part black.
- [25:09]
Sean Mike Kelly
Dang.
- [25:10]
Kevin Hines
It was brutal. A kid named Mike would get behind me, bend down. A kid named Tony in front of me would push me over. Mike. I'd crack my head on the concrete and bleed because I didn't look like them. And for me, I don't need any pity for that. But I developed a very, very strong self loathing voice in my head in fourth grade. I heard voices, but I didn't tell anybody because I thought, I don't know what this is. I'm a kid. What the hell's going on? This thing, this doesn't sound like my voice. Sounds like someone's talking to me in my head and they hate me. And so I said nothing to anybody. But I just. My behavior was off. I was too energized or too overwhelmed or too sensitive or whatever the situation was. And those students that took part in those actions played a pivotal role in me leaping off the golden gate Bridge at 19.
- [26:09]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [26:10]
Kevin Hines
Because they built that self loathing and they destroyed my self esteem. And so while I go to high schools all around the world, I'm well aware that there is a vast amount of bullying, hazing, teasing and harassment going on in those, in those classes and at home when they go on social media.
- [26:30]
Sean Mike Kelly
Oh yeah.
- [26:31]
Kevin Hines
And the crisis text lines AI algorithm, which predated this AI craze that you know, well aware about. But The Crisis Textiles AI algorithm, which is hyper intelligent, determined that cyberbullying is 60% more lethal than physical bullying.
- [26:48]
Sean Mike Kelly
Dang.
- [26:48]
Kevin Hines
Because kids get to believing that that's the rest of their lives and that what's being said on there and reposted and re. Whatever re shared is permanent and that they are worthless because of it and they're taking their lives left and right. So I will say in an audience of high school students, and you'll see the kids that are laughing because they're the bullies and they're laughing like this guy, you know, what is he telling me? I can't bully people. And I go, hold on. Those people, those kids, the students, your peers who you say these things about, they have moms and dads who love them, family and friends who need them, people who care about them. Is it okay to tell a student in your very school to just go kill themselves? And everybody goes, yells, no. It's very interactive, the presentations, like, no, you know, you know, then why is Any level of harassment, teasing, hazing or bullying allowed in any high school in this country, there should be a zero tolerance policy because your minds are still shaping at that age.
- [27:55]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [27:56]
Kevin Hines
They don't fully grow until 26, 20 years of age, not fully formed. And you're easily influenced. And we need to break free from that cycle if we're going to build resilience in teenagers lives so that we don't have a society that is the second leading cause of death is suicide for 13 to 24 year olds. 24 to 35 year olds. And the third leading cause of death from. From ages above that. And a massive leading cause of death for the elderly.
- [28:32]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [28:33]
Kevin Hines
Which nobody talks about. Nobody talks about the elderly suicides. And you go, they still have value, they're still worthwhile. Those are our grandmas and grandpas. They're important, they have history. And they're being ignored. And it boggles the mind. A friend of mine, a psychologist, Dr. Bart Andrews, is in my film Suicide the Ripple Effect and he says in the film the fact. Something to the effect of the fact that this many people are dying by suicide is a reflection of society, not the person.
- [29:13]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [29:15]
Kevin Hines
We live in a society that demonizes brain pain, that says snap out of it, get over it, move on, Pull yourself up by your bootstrap. It's all in your head. You're damn right it's in my head. That's where my brain is. Single most powerful organ in my body, next to my skin and my heart. If my brain is malfunctioning, I'm done. So if we can get to a place where sane and well people can take on the responsibility for suicide prevention and just be more empathetic, be lacking in judgment to people in brain pain, we could save a lot more lives.
- [29:49]
Sean Mike Kelly
Absolutely. Yeah. We got a mental health epidemic right now. Right. You're looking at these schools, you're probably seeing it firsthand.
- [29:54]
Kevin Hines
Firsthand. One of the. By the way, one of the things I love about you is that you, you could teach a master class in listening. You're. You're incredible at it.
- [30:06]
Sean Mike Kelly
Thank you.
- [30:06]
Kevin Hines
And that's really important. I, I just, I had to say.
- [30:09]
Sean Mike Kelly
That it comes with the reps. I was not the best at first, my first few episodes, but you gotta. It's an important skill to have.
- [30:16]
Kevin Hines
I'm learning two on my podcast because.
- [30:18]
Sean Mike Kelly
It'S easy to want to talk.
- [30:19]
Kevin Hines
Yeah. You wanna, you know, I talk too much. You can tell. But, but yeah, to your point, it is a mental health epidemic. I call it brain health Brain pain. Your brain is an organ just like every other organ in the body, and it too can become diseased. But when someone first develops brain pain in America, around the world, what do people around them do? They tell them to get over it. They tell them it's all in your head. And you're like, wait a minute. Your brain is a massive wondery of chemicals and neural pathways. And if you get stuck in this recidivistic language of suicide, it's very difficult to break free from. So you have to implement strategies and tips and tricks, like I do with those two pronged techniques I shared earlier, to stay away from that. But one of the other things you have to do is every time you have a suicidal inclination, every time you say to yourself, I, I want or I should or I have to go kill myself, reverse it. I love life. I'm going to stay alive. I'm going to live life. Is the option. Commit to life. Whatever your language is that says you need to take your life, reverse it to the opposite and do it every time. Because you have to retrain the brain's neural pathways. You have to retrain the brain's recidivism. You have to change the language and change the narrative, or else you'd be stuck in that forever. I have a friend who comes to all my speeches and travels from far away to get there. And she is just so struggling with suicidal ideation. And she struggles with it daily, all day long. And I pray, I hope and wish that, I pray she's someday able to really utilize all the techniques I've helped her find to reverse that inner critical voice. But in order to do that, you have to educate yourself. You have to read the books. You have to understand the psychology of it. You have to know the brain.
- [32:24]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [32:25]
Kevin Hines
And you have to retrain your heart to say, I get to be here, and this is not happening to me. It's happening for me. What a gift. I hold gratitude inside my pain, Shawn. I'm in excruciating physical pain sitting here. You don't see it on my face. I'm used to it. I have a metal plate and cage in my back that causes me immense physical pain. I don't take pain meds. I once in a blue moon take Advil when it's really bad. But most of the time I just white knuckle it. And I do that because when I came out of the hospital, I was on OxyContin and they gave it to me like it was candy. And I believe I was abusing It. I didn't think that back in the day, I was like, ah, you know, it was whatever, but I would take it to numb the pain, and then the pain would go away, and I'd take it again. And I recognized it, and I was like, holy shit. My birth parents died of drugs. I can't do this. So while it wasn't overwhelming, it was just a part of my life. So I said to my doctors, I said, doc, what do I do to wean this off of my system to get this out of my system? He said, weaned down to aspirin, then weaned down to Advil, then wean down to Tylenol, then get completely off pain meds. And that's what I did all by myself. I just did it. And I did that because I didn't want to end up like my birth parents. It was like the best masterclass for me in that scenario, learning what happened to them and learning how they left this world and that drugs and played such a huge part in that. I promise I don't have Covid, but ever. Ever since COVID I got it. I got it two or three times. I have this tickle in my throat that just never goes away. It's tr. When you're speaking this many times as I do, it's so annoying. That sucks, because I've got. I've got, like, plan when I'm going to drink my water. Like, at this line, I'm going to. There'll be a round of applause and I'll drink the water.
- [34:43]
Sean Mike Kelly
Smart.
- [34:43]
Kevin Hines
My, My, my, my secret.
- [34:46]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah, I lost my taste for a bit during COVID Did you?
- [34:48]
Kevin Hines
Oh, brutal.
- [34:49]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah, that sucks. Got it back.
- [34:51]
Kevin Hines
You got it back?
- [34:51]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [34:52]
Kevin Hines
So many people. So many people didn't.
- [34:54]
Sean Mike Kelly
Food is important for me, man.
- [34:55]
Kevin Hines
If I couldn't get my taste, I would be so upset.
- [35:00]
Sean Mike Kelly
A lot of meaning to my life and food because I love to travel the world and experience cultures, so food is a big part of my life.
- [35:06]
Kevin Hines
You do. You travel the world, you go all over. You.
- [35:08]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [35:09]
Kevin Hines
You enjoy different cultures. You. You learn about those cultures, you bring them back.
- [35:12]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yep.
- [35:13]
Kevin Hines
That's cool.
- [35:13]
Sean Mike Kelly
Perspective is important to me because I grew up kind of sheltered. I didn't leave much, so I thought that was the whole world. But I've learned a lot about life from traveling.
- [35:21]
Kevin Hines
I think everyone should go to what. What are called third world countries to see what it's like to live in that scenario, to. To embed themselves in those situations and be grateful for what we have here in America.
- [35:38]
Sean Mike Kelly
I agree.
- [35:39]
Kevin Hines
You know, I think that. I think people take that. Take this country and take. Take our freedoms for granted.
- [35:44]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah, it definitely humbles yourself.
- [35:46]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, it does. It does. Yeah. We, Margaret, my wife and I, travel all over and we've seen. We've seen the. The. The devastating struggles of. Of people all around the world, but we've also seen their resilience, which is incredible.
- [36:02]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [36:02]
Kevin Hines
You know, there's. There's cultures around the world that don't have a term for mental health.
- [36:06]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [36:07]
Kevin Hines
They don't.
- [36:08]
Sean Mike Kelly
What do they call it?
- [36:09]
Kevin Hines
They. They. They. It's not that they're denying that it exists. They. It's that they are free from its woes because they're so connected to family and to culture and to background and to history. Think of the Aboriginals in Australia, the first peoples. Right. They are connected to Mother Earth. They're grounded to the Earth. Spending time with your feet on planet Earth. Like what I do every morning. I wake up, I meditate for 20 minutes. I do my hallowed app, prayers on the Catholic app. I go, I exercise. I have my morning oatmeal, whatever it is, and then I go and I take off my shoes, I take off my. I'm not wearing socks, not wearing shoes. I go outside to my grass and I stand there for 19 to 20 minutes.
- [36:54]
Sean Mike Kelly
Love it.
- [36:55]
Kevin Hines
Because that actually grounds you to Mother Earth and it changes the. Of course, I'm blanking on this now. It changes your entire body's chemistry.
- [37:08]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [37:09]
Kevin Hines
It actually. It actually benefits your brain health. It makes you less depressed. If you're in depression, you're getting the light from this, the sunlight, which is crucial to get as well. So you're simultaneously grounding and getting the light that you need for your vitamin D, and you are benefiting your brain health every time. I do it every day. It's incredible.
- [37:29]
Sean Mike Kelly
I love that. Yeah, I'm big on grounding. Let me ask you this, because the Amish people fascinate me. And one of the things that fascinates me about their community is they don't seem to have mental health issues. Why do you think that is?
- [37:42]
Kevin Hines
You know, I think it's very. It's very. I actually think it's very common. It's very much in line with the Aboriginals. They have a sense of community that is unrivaled. You know, think about when. When in. In some Amish communities, there have been mass killings, and someone who didn't like their religion came in and shot them all up. What did they do immediately after they came out publicly and said, we forgive him.
- [38:07]
Sean Mike Kelly
Whoa.
- [38:08]
Kevin Hines
For killing all of our children. We forgive him. Done. They are at peace with themselves. They know their worth. They love God, they love each other and they protect that love and they protect their hearts. That's not to say none of them struggle mentally. It's that they perceive it differently.
- [38:36]
Sean Mike Kelly
Interesting.
- [38:37]
Kevin Hines
And that's okay. We have to be culturally competent in these things. We have to look at it differently from different people. Think about like this, that I'm part black. I told you that. My, my raging sadness right now is that more 7 to 10 year old black children are dying by suicide than ever before in the history of the world. How does a 7 year old know to take their life?
- [39:03]
Sean Mike Kelly
That's so young. That's disturbing.
- [39:06]
Kevin Hines
How does a 7 year old know what to do to take their life? It's not acceptable. And in traveling around to not just high schools and colleges, middle schools, military bases, one of the common things, most common things I see besides the whole bullying thing is that kids will come up to me and they'll go afterwards, you know, in droves. They'll come up and say thank you and things and tell me their stories for the first time that they've told anyone their stories. And they'll say, kevin, I really love your message today. It was really helpful. But when I go home, I'm being abused and neglected every day or one or the other, or both in one way shape form or another. I don't have a solve for that. I can't go home with them. I can't stop their abuser. So I remind them what I told you earlier. Today is not tomorrow. You're going to grow up. You're going to break free from that household. You're going to maybe one day have your own family do things differently, change the cycle of violence or abuse, however it comes, whatever, whatever kind it is, and know that you are stronger than you think and you're resilient as hell because you're here right now telling a complete stranger that you met today your truth. Don't just tell me. Let's walk you to the counselor's office right now. And we do, we walk them to the counselor's office. Oftentimes in high schools, I'm invited in to the counseling office with the student that's in question, that they had no idea before was struggling. They had no indication. Now we have caused and met the need in one day and we get them to open up about their severe pain, what they're dealing with. And I often follow up with teachers and staff and say, hey, what happened with that? Well, we actually had to get CPS involved, Child Protective Services involved, and they're in a better place.
- [41:18]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow. I love that. Yeah, I can relate to that because I think there's a lot of shame and guilt of going to a counselor and admitting there's issues. So I never went when I was in school, you know, and I'm sure thousands of kids are doing that, too.
- [41:30]
Kevin Hines
You know what? I have to tell you, I am really proud of my wife right now. My wife Margaret, who I do work with all around the world. We travel everywhere together. We do everything together. We're, like, inseparable. We're best friends. I met her in my third psych ward stay.
- [41:46]
Sean Mike Kelly
Oh, yeah?
- [41:47]
Kevin Hines
Yeah. I was a patient. She was visiting her cousin who was there for illicit drug use.
- [41:52]
Sean Mike Kelly
Oh, wow.
- [41:52]
Kevin Hines
And he was a catatonic. He couldn't speak and he couldn't. He couldn't move. He couldn't talk and he couldn't move. And I broke him out as his catatonia. I would tell him stories every day, breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and he wouldn't move, wouldn't talk, Just drooling. And one day he goes, jesus, man, you talk too much. I know your whole life story. Like, cut a guy a break. But in the hospital, she went to visit him, and I had made my way into, like, volunteering for the hospital I was staying in, which is illegal, but I had finagled my way to doing this. Everyone else is wearing hospital gowns, hospital pants, hospital slippers. I'm wearing a pink polo shirt, khaki cargo shorts, and sandals from the giveaway clothes closet. Like, I work there with a clipboard, a notebook, and a pen. I'm official. And it's just. It's Leonardo the Ninja Turtle. I still have the drawing. I did a really good job, and it's all I'm drawing on there. But she comes in, so I put the clipboard to my chest so she doesn't see that I'm not official. And I'm making the visiting hour announcements on the PA system, and she taps me, my left shoulder. I turn around, and I was done. I was like, she'll be the rest of my life. I knew it. In that moment, I just didn't know how.
- [42:56]
Sean Mike Kelly
Love at first sight.
- [42:56]
Kevin Hines
Love at first sight for me. Not for her, but for me. There was that moment. I just knew it. I just didn't know how. And I was like, don't tell her that. That'd be awkward. So. So she Goes, excuse me, do you work here? And all the staff was there and they didn't say anything. And I was like, yes. So as a matter of fact, miss, I'm a volunteer. And they didn't stop me. They let me go with it. And she was like, I'm looking for my cousin Eduardo. Do you know what room he's in? I said, madam, right this way. And I walked her there and I get her to the room. Now the kid hates me. I talk too much. So I duck out into the hallway and I hear her say, your nursing staff is so nice. And he goes, that guy, that guy's a fucking nutball. That guy jumps off bridges. Don't talk to that guy. And I ran into his room. I said, excuse me. One. One bridge. Plural. That's ridiculous. And she goes, why'd you lie to me? I said, margaret, I didn't lie to you. I'm a volunteer at this very hospital. I just happen to also live here. Anyway, long story short, he gets out of the hospital, goes to his halfway home for the mentally ill. I get out of my hospital. I go to the same hospital, go to the halfway home for the mentally ill. None of my family or friends would house me. It was three strikes and I was out. And it was either go to the halfway home or be homeless. And I wasn't even sure I'd get in or get qualified to get in. So I get into the halfway home and I do my 30 days probationary period. You follow the rules to a tear, you're out of there. 30 days probationary period. After the 30 days, you get your first weekend off. So you can go out after that. So I call Margaret and I go, margaret, I'd like to take you to dinner. It's Friday. And she's like, she was just so thrilled, she couldn't find the words. I was like, margaret, it's one date. If it goes south, you never ever have to see me again. And she goes, okay. So I showed up at her apartment and I'm wearing my only good white shirt I bought at Olden Navy on the clearance rack for $5. That's a two day shirt because I'm living off of $3 a day because the halfway home takes the rest of your money from Social Security income. And I have a giant ski duffel bag of lots of my things. And she goes, what is that? I said, margaret, it's a funny story. When you leave the halfway home on Friday, it's Friday, and you go out past 9pm you made reservations at 9. You kind of can't go back to the halfway home until Monday. And she was like, oh, hell, no. I was like, margaret, I planned for this. I'm going to lay on those Lombardi stairs next to your apartment with the bag as my pillow and my jacket as a blanket and sleep over there tonight. But we have to go on this date. I came all this way. She was like, oh, God, Fine. So we show up at Cafe Sport in San Francisco, where you don't order. They order for you. They judge you, and they order for you. They ordered. Margaret. The tables are this big. You're elbow to elbow with everybody next to you. You can hear everybody's conversation verbatim. So they get an eggplant parmesan dish for Margaret, which fits on the table. But this guy didn't like me at all. He puts a giant bed of spaghetti, a mountain of red sauce, an uncracked lobster, a votive, and a can of plate with boiling butter on top and the fire on the bottom, and a very large, oddly cut lemon wedge.
- [46:08]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [46:08]
Kevin Hines
On purpose, I'm freaking out. I'm wearing my only good white shirt. This is going to be a mess. So I said, kevin, you can do this. I believe in you. Kevin, go. So I take the cracker, I put it on the till crack, marinara sauce all over my only good white shirt. It was like Captain America's shield on his shirt. It was terrible. And then. And then I go, kevin, do something classy right now. So I pick up the lemon wedge, and I'm staring at Margaret's eyes, her almond, brown, sexy, cool eyes, looking at the lemon wedge, looking at the plate, and I literally go like this. And I missed my plate by a mile. And I squeezed the lemon harder than lemon has ever been squozen. And lemon juice went directly into her left eye, and it kept going like a fire hose. And mascara is running down her face. And she looks like the band Kiss of the film the Crow. And I'm freaking out. And this lady next to us goes, mist, are you okay? And I was like, lady, it's a date. It's going south. You're not helping. And then I go, margaret, I'm so, so sorry. And I was like, kevin, do something better right now, classier right now. What is it? I don't know. And I go for the plate of boiling butter. I tip the plate. Four giant droplets of boiling butter fly across the tiny table onto her chest, through her blouse, and they burn her. They scold her. She screams bloody murder. The restaurant stops Cold people literally dropped their forks and knives. Not kidding. And I go, margaret, I'm so, so sorry. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. And this lady goes, miss, do you need me to call somewhat lady? And I grabbed my napkin and, and I reach over and I'm now doing this on a first date right here. And she's like, what are you doing? And I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm so sorry. And she says the only two words on a first date you never want to hear in the first 10 minutes of sitting down when you haven't eaten your food. Check, please. So you go back to her apartment, she sees the bag, she goes, we're going to the roof. I said, margaret, are you going to throw me off? She goes, no, we go to the roof. Two purple yoga mats, a box garden, the Bay Bridge, full moon, Golden Gate Bridge tower behind us. It was epic.
- [48:09]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [48:10]
Kevin Hines
And we laid down and I was freaking out. I was like, margaret, what are we doing here? And she goes, kevin, if all we do right now is stare at that full moon, ain't nothing else can go wrong. And she gave me a second date. And we're 20 years dating, 17 years married, and she's loved my life, my very best friend. And the reason I'm proud of her to bring this full circle is because she has gotten together with a great friend of ours named Julia Belt, who created Brogley Box after she lost her brother to suicide. Brogliebox is a wellness care package for people who live with mental health crisis and struggles and illness and challenges. And you can gift them to people all over the world, you can give them to corporates, and these boxes are curated specifically for the right person. And you can pick what you want in the box. It's really nice, but my wife and Julia founded this company mindly to solve the youth mental health crisis by way of using this thing called Single Session Intervention, which allows which is a platform they've built. It's basically a SaaS company platform they built to. You pick the crisis challenger issue you have, you enter it into the platform. It goes through a branching system. It makes you a three step, regimented, actionable solution to that problem in less than 10 to 15 minutes.
- [49:36]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [49:37]
Kevin Hines
You get to the solve, you engage in the solve, you've co created the solve, you act on the solve, you heal. It's fucking incredible.
- [49:48]
Sean Mike Kelly
Beautiful.
- [49:48]
Kevin Hines
It's incredible. And so they're building that right now and they're putting that in schools all over the world. We Just, they just signed a deal with the territory of Guam.
- [49:58]
Sean Mike Kelly
Nice.
- [49:58]
Kevin Hines
Guam has 157,000 people, right? This is going to be for everybody. It's going to be incredible.
- [50:06]
Sean Mike Kelly
That's epic. I love your approach because it sounds like you're pretty holistic, man.
- [50:09]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, no, I am. I. I believe in educating myself as to my diagnosis. So I get a Google alert on bipolar, depression, suicide prevention, mental health, brain health. Every Friday I go through all the, all the. And I learn what new things I can do to balance my brain health. I drink chamomile tea every day. Once in the morning, once at night. I used music therapy, art therapy, breathwork therapy, resonance breathing. I do everything I can. I meditate. I am not the kind of person today to sit back and watch my life be destroyed before me because of my brain. I was that guy for way too long. I pitied myself, I self loathed, I. I felt sorry for myself. And now I am full force learning everything I can because you have to be a constant learner. You know this. To change my brain, to change my life every day, you know, And I think that if more people took that kind of agency with their health. We're in Vegas. I'm in that hotel. I'm not going to say the hotel name. I'm in that hotel. And it makes me so sad to see all the people gambling their life savings away, drinking to oblivion, drugging to oblivion, prostituting into oblivion. It makes me very sad. All of those addictions destroy your brain, your gut, your mental wealth. They destroy it. What if those people spend all that money on their health? What if we did that? What if we encourage people? What if Vegas was a place you went to to spend money on biohacking and your health?
- [51:55]
Sean Mike Kelly
That'd be cool.
- [51:56]
Kevin Hines
Wouldn't that be fucking incredible? Obviously there's a contingent of that here. I'm not saying there's not. I'm saying like, what if as a society we shifted cities to be more open minded to biohacking your physical and mental wellbeing, or just hacking your mental wellbeing. On my YouTube channel there, there's a playlist called Mental Health Hacks. 45 videos. You can go through very quickly and learn steps right now that are science backed, evidence, informed, proven to change your brain, to change your life?
- [52:27]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [52:27]
Kevin Hines
Everybody needs that.
- [52:28]
Sean Mike Kelly
I love that.
- [52:29]
Kevin Hines
Do that. Take it. They're yours. They're free. Go.
- [52:32]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah. You know, people are looking for a quick fix, a pill.
- [52:34]
Kevin Hines
No, there's no quick fix.
- [52:36]
Sean Mike Kelly
You have to do the work right and it's continuous.
- [52:39]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, it is continuous. Everyone wants the uberfication of life right now. They want their food right now. They want their pills right now. They want their drugs right now. They. They want their fitness right now. Do the work, hard work, because nothing good ever came without it. That's what my dad, Pat Hines, taught me.
- [52:56]
Sean Mike Kelly
Absolutely.
- [52:57]
Kevin Hines
You know.
- [52:57]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah. I'm still working on my mental health daily.
- [52:59]
Kevin Hines
Yeah. And, you know, I had. I. I've lost. So we share something in common. And I, I, I didn't realize you had lost your dad to suicide before this podcast. I'm sorry. I didn't know that. But, But. And. And I genuinely am sorry for your loss of your dad, your grandfather. That's. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a devastating, forever life situation that you have to deal with. When I. When I went searching for my birth mom. Beautiful woman. Her name is Marcia. Her picture is in my wallet. When I went searching for my birth mom, it's one of the only pictures I have of her, actually. I have two pictures of her. And that's it. I was two years too late. All my life, Sean, I wanted to tell my mom specifically that I love her. That was a life goal. I'm gonna. Someday I'll travel the world if I have to. I'm gonna find my mom. I'm just gonna tell her I love her, and if she doesn't accept me, I'm gonna be okay with it. Because I got to say it. I found all the paperwork that was from the adoption, and I went to a person I know in the mental health board, Helena Brook. I was on that board for three years. I went to her and I said, do you know the foster care system? She said, yes. I said, can you search for this name? I had an alias of my mom's name. I didn't even know her real name. I gave the alias, and she did some tracking down. Four weeks later, calls me Kevin. I've got some good news, I got some bad news. Which do you want to hear first? So I want to hear the bad news first. We'll end on the good news. And she goes, I'm a pretty optimistic guy. So she goes, your mother passed away. The good news is you have a sister we never knew you had. My mom had a family before mine.
- [55:14]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [55:15]
Kevin Hines
She was married to an Indian man, and she had two. Two children, Chica and Sash. Samesh is my older brother. We share the same birthday. August 30th.
- [55:31]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [55:31]
Kevin Hines
10 years apart. She walked out on Them and never came back. After a mental breakdown, made her way to San Francisco, met my father, had me and my brother in a crack motel.
- [55:48]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [55:49]
Kevin Hines
Born in abject poverty. Lived in the worst neighborhood in San Francisco then the worst neighbor there today. Kind of places you paid for by the hour and if you didn't, you were out. And they did whatever the hell they had to do to pay on that hour by that hour. Selling drugs, doing drugs, scoring drugs. I go searching for my mom. I find this out. And I find out that my sister had moved to San Francisco to be with her. Got her seven years sober. And something like one day she went back on drugs and walked in front of a tow truck.
- [56:25]
Sean Mike Kelly
Damn.
- [56:26]
Kevin Hines
I don't know that it was a suicide attempt. I don't know that she didn't die that day. She died a year later due to complications to the amputation to the date of the amputation of her right leg. There is something to be said about blood relatives and about the innate, unmeasurable connection you have to them based on chemistry.
- [57:01]
Sean Mike Kelly
Right.
- [57:03]
Kevin Hines
And while most of my adoptive family doesn't quite understand why this is important to me, meeting a great deal of my birth family on my mom's side has been incredible. They're beautiful people, Beautiful God fearing people. We're from Jamaica and when I moved to Atlanta, I got a Facebook message from my mom's cousin who said, we all live in Georgia.
- [57:37]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [57:38]
Kevin Hines
So I see them all, all the time. There's a contingent of everybody of family in Jamaica. I haven't met them yet. I can't wait to go. It's going to be incredible. I met my. The matriarch of the family before she passed on. Zoom.
- [57:50]
Sean Mike Kelly
Nice.
- [57:51]
Kevin Hines
She's from Jamaica. Thick Jamaican accent, looks exactly like me.
- [57:55]
Sean Mike Kelly
I love it.
- [57:56]
Kevin Hines
Just freckles everywhere. She was bald. It was beautiful. I was like, oh, my God, this is crazy. You know? And it's been a gift to get to know them. They're beautiful people. And today my brother and my sister and my family are thick as thieves.
- [58:12]
Sean Mike Kelly
Beautiful, man. No, there is that bond when you come out of her.
- [58:15]
Kevin Hines
Yeah, that's right.
- [58:16]
Sean Mike Kelly
Can't replace that.
- [58:17]
Kevin Hines
No, you can't.
- [58:18]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [58:18]
Kevin Hines
When they take monkeys away from their birth mom, they can die.
- [58:22]
Sean Mike Kelly
Really?
- [58:22]
Kevin Hines
Yeah.
- [58:23]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [58:24]
Kevin Hines
Versus the ones that stay and are nurtured.
- [58:26]
Sean Mike Kelly
It's like a spiritual connection, right?
- [58:28]
Kevin Hines
It's a scientific and spiritual connection. It's everything involved.
- [58:32]
Sean Mike Kelly
Yeah.
- [58:33]
Kevin Hines
It's physiological.
- [58:34]
Sean Mike Kelly
Damn.
- [58:34]
Kevin Hines
Yeah.
- [58:35]
Sean Mike Kelly
Thanks for sharing that, man. I know that was really vulnerable of you. So.
- [58:38]
Kevin Hines
Yeah. Thank you.
- [58:38]
Sean Mike Kelly
I think A lot of people watching this can, can definitely empathize with that. I know a lot of adopted people that they wait too long, similar to you. Right. And then they're dead or they moved on, have new families. It's kind of awkward.
- [58:51]
Kevin Hines
Yeah.
- [58:52]
Sean Mike Kelly
So thanks for sharing that.
- [58:53]
Kevin Hines
Of course. You bet.
- [58:54]
Sean Mike Kelly
Kevin. It's been an incredible episode. I could talk to you for hours, for real. What are you working on next? Where could people find you?
- [59:01]
Kevin Hines
Right now I am the most excited about our future narrative, our future documentary film the Net. We are raising a fund for it right now and it is the story of the harrowing 90 year journey to end death at the golden gate Bridge. The seven fights since 1939 that failed, the current effort that succeeded and the fact that the physical deterrent net is the SUSEP branch net is now across 360,000 square feet of the Golden Gate Bridge that suicides have dropped suicide rate. Suicide attempts have dropped 83% since its inception. As of January 1st and since the beginning of the year, there was in fact a three month period for the first time in nearly a century where there were zero suicides at the Golden Gate Bridge.
- [59:49]
Sean Mike Kelly
Wow.
- [59:50]
Kevin Hines
And we. My father was the founding board member of the Bridge Rail foundation to fight for this cause alongside Dave. Dave hall and Paul Muller. Dave hall lost his 13 year old daughter Kathy to the bridge. Dana Whitmer and Mark Whitmer lost their son Matthew. Kimberly Renee Gamboa and Miguel Gamboa. Manuel Gamboa lost their son Kyle. We all got together with a lot more people and we fought for the better part of 20 years to raise that net. It's saving lives. It's proving unequivocally that reduction of access to lethal means is one of the only empirically proven ways to reduce suicides. We thought we were going to stop at the Golden Gate Bridge, but I've consulted with bridges, tall buildings and structures around the world to work on raising nets and suicide deterrence at those locations of icons for suicide. We've written the book on how to reduce suicides by reduction of access to lethal means. And it's incredibly powerful to be a part of a global movement that actually shows people that if you give someone time plus hard work and treatment for things to change, they can find other options besides suicide to commit to life. So we're making this film the Net. You can help us make this film@the netmovie.com we're going to share this with the world. It's going to save lives. It's going to spark and be the catalyst for reduction of access to lethal means all over the world.
- [61:36]
Sean Mike Kelly
Love it. We'll link below. I can't wait to watch it man.
- [61:38]
Kevin Hines
Thank you.
- [61:38]
Sean Mike Kelly
Thanks so much for coming on.
- [61:39]
Kevin Hines
Thank you so much absolutely having me.
- [61:41]
Sean Mike Kelly
Thanks for watching guys. Check out the link below if you want to support. I'll see you guys next time.
- [61:48]
Kevin Hines
Friends of the of the Digital Social Hour Podcast and friends of Sean Mike Kelly, hear me when I say this. If you are considering suicide today or any day, stop. Take a breath in four through the nose. Hold for four release six to eight seconds. Pursed lips like a whistle but no sound. Just breathe. Do that 40 more times. Lower a panic adrenaline rush. Quell a anxiety attack. Lower your heart rate. Breathe. Suicide is never the solution to your problem. It is the problem. Suicidal ideations are the greatest liars. We know. You don't have to listen to them. Suicide does not, cannot and will not ever take the pain away. It just transfers it on to everyone left behind that loves and cares for you. And they do. And it makes it wholly impossible for things to ever get better. But as I said earlier with time, energy, effort and hard work because nothing could ever came without it. I promise you things can, will and do get better. Keep going. You are loved, you are valued, you are worthy and you matter. And you definitely matter to me and Sean. Take care, be well, fight for your wellness and be here tomorrow every damn day after that. If nobody else says today, I love you and I want you to stay.
- [63:42]
T-Mobile Representative
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Prepaid MasterCard Representative
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