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Digital Social Hour
Addicted To Future Plans, Missing The Present: Brad Tate’s Wake-Up Call For Men | DSH #1679
00:39:28
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- [00:00]
A
So they teach you. And even, like Viktor Frankl said, you have to be in that moment. So, like, right now. And I'd say that to anybody that's listening to me, don't look towards. It's Friday now. Don't look at Saturday. Like, right now, it's Friday. It's this time is this day. This is what you're dealing with. You deal with what happens, and then tomorrow, we take care of tomorrow. We don't want to get too far into the next month because you don't know. And when you do get too far into the next month, what happens if you don't make it there? You know, there's a lot of people that are going to go to sleep tonight that are not going to wake up. Like, I'm always trying to better myself. Like I said, that's why I like to read. I'm coming into my own, like, with men and depression and men and mental health. Like, so that's what I love about. And I love about learning, because it's helping me and it's powering me.
- [00:46]
B
Okay, guys, Brad Tate here, ufc cup man. Have seen him at a few Power Stop events. Nice to finally get this going, man. Thanks for coming on.
- [00:51]
A
I appreciate you. Thank you for having me.
- [00:52]
B
Yeah, I know you got one of the busiest schedules I've ever seen, so traveling twice a week all over the world. All over the continent, right?
- [00:58]
A
Yeah, yeah, we get. We get it in a lot. So know where? Vegas. Sometimes we're all over. So. I live in airports. I'm very familiar with airports. I can tell you what's the best airport to go to, which one is not too accommodating. So I live in airports now.
- [01:11]
B
I gotta know. Best airport, in your opinion?
- [01:13]
A
Best airport. I would definitely say atl. ATL is really good. Dallas. Love is really good for the food, but it sucks for the bathroom and amenities. I don't understand how that airport is that big and they only have, like, a stall, two stalls, and like, maybe two urinals. So that one, Chicago, is very big. Midway, but it sucks as far as food. Like, Midway just. It's a different place. And Fort Lauderdale is not a good airport. And Austin's a pretty good airport.
- [01:43]
B
Austin's good. Where do you rank the Vegas airport?
- [01:45]
A
Because they're doing a lot of construction. It was not. It's not that good. But, like, in Vegas, you're just in and out, bro. You're not there for. First of all, you're coming in and you're like, glamour by the lights and all the, like the slot machines. And then by the time you're leaving, you're so hungover and beat up you're like, let me just get out of here.
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B
Yeah, you're not chilling there.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Some airports you could live at though.
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A
Oh yeah. Like the Atlanta airport is amazing, man. You can go and get massages, pedicures and all that kind of stuff. But yeah, Atlanta's, Atlanta's is a pretty good.
- [02:15]
B
You're doing a lot of reading in that airports on the flights too.
- [02:18]
A
I read every day, so I'll typically read like four or five books at a time. Yeah, I know, but it's like watching TV to me. So like I'll do like the Daily Stoic, which is like one page. I'm reading Robert Green Daily Laws. But I feel like Robert Green is kind of manipulative. So like I'm kind of not reading that as much. But I love my daily. I love the Daily Stoic. And then that's like a page. And then I'll read some form of history and then I'll read like a self help book because I'm always trying to improve, I'm trying to learn. And then I love history and then I'll read like a couple of non fictions just because I love nonfiction. I just love to like let my, my brain explore and just let my imagine my imagination just run wild with things. I really love reading books that are going to become movies to see like how my brain works as far as like casting. Like when I picked this actor. Oh, this. I would have picked this actor for this. I like this guy and he did it. And then how well did they follow the script and stuff like that?
- [03:23]
B
Have you ever seen a movie that was better than the book?
- [03:29]
A
Yes. And right now off the top of my mind I cannot because most people.
- [03:33]
B
Say the book is always better.
- [03:34]
A
You know, the Godfather was actually, was actually better.
- [03:40]
B
Wow.
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A
Oh, just as good. Casino was just as good as the book.
- [03:45]
B
I didn't know casino was a book.
- [03:46]
A
Well, and then I don't know his name. Nicholas Pileski or Pelaggy, whatever. He's really good. He did. It'll come to me. They were gamblers and all I remember is they cut the guy up in the, in the trunk. It'll come to me.
- [04:08]
B
Gamblers.
- [04:10]
A
Yeah, it was the. Remember it was. The kid was a young kid. He wasn't Italian, but he grew up the neighborhood. And then.
- [04:17]
B
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
- [04:20]
A
Good fellas.
- [04:21]
B
Yeah, good fellas.
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A
Good fellas is good. And then I don't know if A Bronx Tale was a book or not. I think it was, but that was. That was pretty good. That was a great movie too.
- [04:28]
B
Yeah. So these are older Hollywood movies you're naming. What do you think about the newer Hollywood movies?
- [04:36]
A
Has there been any really good new Hollywood movies? I feel like they're just redoing everything. I don't feel like, again, like, that's what I'm talking. Like, I don't feel like people's creative side is there anymore. I feel like it's either AI or it's just something that we've seen 20 years ago, and, like, now they have the technology to kind of make it.
- [04:54]
B
Look super cool, like Jurassic World, right?
- [04:56]
A
Which, again, okay, don't go see that new. That new one sucks, bro. It was. I don't know if you're a fan of it, because I was a fan of it. I remember Jurassic park and all that, but, like, now the dinosaurs are hideous. Like, the dinosaurs are ugly. I don't care if you. If spoiler alert or not. But the. The dinosaurs are ugly. I mean, there's not even any creativity in it. You're like. You can literally go, okay, this is gonna happen. This is gonna happen. And then this happens. So that's just too predictable. It's very predictable. And you're just like, wow, this is okay.
- [05:26]
B
Yeah. I miss when movies had that unpredictable.
- [05:29]
A
Factor, or not even. Okay, that too. But I miss when actors, like, took pride in their craft. And it wasn't just AI. It wasn't just chat B. Chat GBT4 script. Like, actors really became the person that they were trying to be, right? And they made you feel like that. So, like, even though, like, take Casino, like, you know, Lefty or whatever, like, Danny. What his name, Joe Pesci became that guy, you know, he became that made man. He. He became that villain. Even, like, if you remember, like, take like the Dark Knight, when Heath Ledger, like, locked himself in a room and made himself crazy to bring the Joker to life. Like, do you really think there's actors now that have that discipline and that I want to do this so well that I'm willing to go crazy to do it? I don't feel like they do that anymore.
- [06:24]
B
Not as many.
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A
Right? You know, like, that Denzel Washington. Like, you've heard people talk about Denzel when they go, you know, when Denzel Washington was doing American Gangster, he became Frank Lucas, and he would not be cool with the cast that were the cops. Like, he was like, bro, like, I'm Frank Lucas, right now. You know what I'm saying? So I don't feel like actors are doing that now. I feel like they're like all buddy, buddy. And then somebody says action. And then they kind of do it and they say, cut. And then they go back to talking about, hey, this recipe. And how their wife's doing this and where we're going to vacation at.
- [06:57]
B
Yeah, I think they've. The movies have lost their personality. I think it's all about numbers now and projections and revenue.
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A
Right. And they're like. Movies are like, they're in the theaters one week and then you're getting them on Amazon prime the next. So it's just. Everything is just so fast paced, you know, like, you wait like, you used to wait like a year for a movie. Like, like the anticipation, they would build it up. Now it's just like when there's movies out now that I didn't even know we're in, and I'm a big movie person, like, I'll probably leave here and go to a movie. There's movies out right now that, you know, you're like, wow, I ain't noticed. Like. And then to bring up what I was telling you, how they're just remaking stuff. Naked Gun is being remade now with Liam Neeson, like, you know what I'm saying? How much can you do with that?
- [07:38]
B
You know, I saw Martin Scorsese on Rogan. He was saying, basically when streaming came out, it put the DVD business out of business, Right?
- [07:46]
A
Yes.
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B
Which affected the movies because the DVDs were bringing in so much revenue for the movies, so they had to shorten the average duration of a movie. So now the movies are a lot shorter again, which.
- [07:57]
A
Yeah, you can see that. And like, he's another one. Like, I love his work. Oh, his movie. The Flower Moon. The Death of the Flower Moon.
- [08:08]
B
I haven't seen that, bro.
- [08:10]
A
Now, that movie was great. Like, that one movie was almost as equal to the book. Like, he was. It was amazing. And then, like I said, you learned to know a whole nother thing about history. Like, I didn't even know about that. So I like him because he typically does, like, true. His movies are typically based on somebody. And he does a really good job of, like, getting it out of his actors and, like, doing what he needs to do. So, like those. That old generation of those guys, directors and actors and stuff like that, we're going to be hurting when they go.
- [08:41]
B
Absolutely. Now, you've mentioned history a few times. How are you consuming objective history? Because obviously there's false history being taught everywhere, right?
- [08:48]
A
So, like I was telling you, for me, history is not like you. You do understand, like, history will repeat itself if you don't learn from it. But I also feel like in history, you have to, like, get the facts about it because your version of what happened is not what really happened and somebody else's version. So there's always three sides to it. It's their side, your side, and then what really happened. And so you also have to look in and take into consideration, like, you know, who, what, when, where, you know. So history is written by the victors. And so you take just American history. Like, Native Americans don't have the best.
- [09:35]
B
Representation of our history.
- [09:36]
A
You know, they were savages. They were this, they were that. But then if you talk to them and ask them, they're like, you know, hey, if we had all do over again, we'd have never brought. You know what I'm saying? So it's always those kind of things. And, like, I learn when I read about history because the knowledge is there. You have to really go into it and try to figure it out, you know? And I don't feel like a lot of people care about history, you know, I don't. I feel like we're in a culture now where we're ashamed of our history, you know? And it's like, hey, like, this happened. And I feel like people want to avoid that. Like, people don't want to talk about that, right? So it's like, look, this happened. How can we learn from it? You know, this was a mistake. We no longer feel this way and then become better. Like, you want to always keep growing and improving on your faults. Like, I'm faulty. Like, I make mistakes. I make mistakes daily. You know, the first thing I'm gonna have to do is say, hey, look, dude, I apologize, you know, but then learn, like, did this really bother you? And why? You know, and some things I'm unapologetic for. Some things I'm like, look, bro, you just gotta. That's the way life is, you know, like, we can't have it this way. And I feel like that's a lot of issues, too. Going is, you know, it's kind of a. I don't know how to say it. Like, you have those that are very apologetic, but then you have those that are unapologetic. And they're so loud and obnoxious about being unapologetic. They also come off like jerks about it, right? And that's, I think, is why Moving forward. We're having so many dilemmas and issues with things.
- [11:08]
B
Yeah. They're almost, like, borderline arrogant.
- [11:10]
A
Right. It's like, I don't have to say I'm sorry or, like, you know, I'm saying, like, bro, this is wrong. I don't care how you slice it, this thought process shouldn't work in today's society. It didn't work back then. It definitely doesn't belong in today's society. But I feel like people are like, you know, oh, well, like, stop me, you know, if you look at, like, our leaders and who are. They're arrogant and nobody's checking them. And so you're teaching people, if I got power and money, I can do and say what I want, and there's no consequences.
- [11:42]
B
Yeah. Which topics in history are you most interested in reading about right now?
- [11:46]
A
Dude, I'll read anything about history. Like, I'll read about the Holocaust. Like I said, the Victor Frankel book, Man Search for Meaning. It was. It was. There's only been a couple of books that I've ever read that I could smell.
- [12:00]
B
Damn.
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A
So Victor Frankel's Man Search for Meaning was so powerful. Like, I could smell and taste that book.
- [12:08]
B
Was he a survivor?
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A
He was a survivor of the Holocaust, and the man was. So his thought process was amazing. To the point where, you know, first of all, I don't think, like, slavery and the Holocaust is actually told. I think it's told, but I think it's told in a way to go, this was bad. And, like. But I don't think they get into it where it was like, so, like, I'm reading this book and this man's like, so we were taking the Auschwitz, and they stripped us down. We're naked, and we're like, it is freezing. So that's the first thing, you know. He's like. At one point, you know, everybody's kind of covered up and they're kind of. You know. And then he's like, you get so cold to that point. Like, I don't even care what I look like. I'm just trying to stay warm. And then he was like, you know, the walk around in the mud and the snow with no shoes, no clothing, bare minimum. And then he's like, when you strip that away, he's like, nobody cares what this private part looks like or what you look like, or how your breath smells.
- [13:09]
C
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B
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C
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- [13:39]
B
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C
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- [13:52]
B
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- [13:53]
C
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- [14:15]
A
And then he's like, you keep going on and you're working these people, like literally working them. So you're working them, I would say. I don't even. I don't want to say something. People go, oh, like you don't know the calorie intake, but you're working them. It's definitely a calorie deficient environment. So you're burning all these calories and they give you like a cup of bone broth with no protein, just watered down broth, right? And so as you're being in this camp, you're basically being starved and worked to death, you know, and this guy dies, right? And before they throw him on a pile of bodies, you go over there and you strip him down because you're like, his shirt and shoes or whatever were better than what I have. And then you take your stuff off, take his off his body. Because at this point, you would never do that because it's like, oh, my God, you're robbing this, but you're trying to survive. So you take his clothing, you throw your clothing there and you look. And later somebody comes and takes those because what was rags to you is a brand new shirt to someone else.
- [15:21]
B
Wow.
- [15:22]
A
You know, and so then you're like, you're on top of each other. You're not showering, so your breath stinks. You. You're working all day, you're not able to clean yourself. You're going to the bathroom, you're not able to wash that off. So you smell like piss. You smell like crap, you know, and you're just, you're on top of each other, you know, like You, You, You. You're just in your own filth and squalor, you know? So at that point, you don't even care what you look like. You're just. You're just filthy. But to still be able to find, like, I'm. I'm. I'm glad to be alive. And so this guy was basically. He was saying, like, sorry if I'm getting long winded, but he was saying, like, he was on the train ride leaving Auschwitz, so he thought he was getting ready to go to the ovens. And he was like, man, we go to this other camp. He's like, but on this train ride, all I did is spend time thinking about my demise and the death, and it never came. So I wasted that time. And then he gets to this other camp and they're letting him take care of the sick people, and he's like, man, it's just all relative. Like, if I stay in the moment, you know, and deal with that at the moment, and I don't get too far ahead, then I'll be okay. Wow. And then he even goes so far as to go, when they freed the Jews, he was like, the Jews then became the oppressors. So he's like, you have to be careful. The oppressed can become the oppressor. And it was just talking about how men just, you know, you get to feeling guilty, you get to feeling, like, deprived, and then you become mean because of that, you know? And then I. I love to read about military stuff where, like, that shaped my life. Like, guys that are POW camps, the ones that made it would never. The optimistic ones, they were never the ones like, really? No. Because there's nothing worse than optimism, right? So me and you in a POW camp, and it's right now we go, you know what? If we make it to the new year, they'll free us, right? And so we make it, and then the new year comes and they don't free us. That will break your spirit, you know what I'm saying? Because you're so focused and dedicated to this being, to this happening, this date, this moment, this time. I just got to make it to the new year, and then everything's gonna be okay. Well, when that happens and it doesn't work, then those people get depressed and then they die. So they teach you. And even, like Victor Frank was saying, you have to be in that moment. So, like, right now. And I'd say that to anybody that's listening to me, don't look towards. It's Friday now. Don't look at Saturday, like right now it's Friday. It's this time is this day. This is what you're dealing with. You deal with what happens, and then tomorrow we take care of tomorrow. We don't want to get too far into the next month because you don't know. And when you do get too far into the next month, what happens if you don't make it there? You know, there's a lot of people that are going to go to sleep tonight that are not going to wake up. And if I spend all that time worrying about this fall and September and my birthday, I'm missing what can happen in the opportunities that I have right now. So you have to keep that balance. Like, I never want to get too far ahead of myself.
- [18:27]
B
Interesting.
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A
Because, you know, you're just setting yourself up for failure.
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B
Yeah.
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A
You know, and if something doesn't happen that you planned on it, bro, that's, that's, that's a really bad thing that can really crush a person's spirit.
- [18:40]
B
Right. So your big takeaways were basically live in the present moment.
- [18:44]
A
Yeah. Like, and I'm not telling that, like, and I'm not saying, like, bro, don't save your money. Like, hey, you know, yolo. Like, no, you can't do that. I'm just telling you, like, I've been guilty of saying I just gotta make it to this. You know what I'm saying? What if that never happens? You know, like, I just gotta do this. So, like, and you look at all like, like the military and stuff, like Navy seals and even they're training for hell week. They're like, bro, don't focus on, you know, running that next 10 miles. Just focus on doing this evolution, right? And then when you get past this evolution, we'll do the next evolution. And so that's kind of my thing for life, man. I don't, I don't try to get too far ahead of myself because when I do, then I mess up this step and I miss this step. And then, you know, if something doesn't go the way I wanted to, I get very, like, depressed and I get down on myself.
- [19:34]
B
Yeah, you can't get in your own head, right?
- [19:35]
A
Exactly.
- [19:36]
B
Yeah. Some days I film 15 episodes and if was thinking about that the whole time I'm filming rather than be in the present with the guest, it would affect me probably.
- [19:43]
A
Right. And I mean, like I said, like, it's just a balance, man. Like, I'm really big on balance and learning and trying to do that. Like, I'm always trying to Better myself. Like I said, that's why I like to read. I'm coming into my own, like, with men and depression and men in mental health. Like, so that's what I love about it, and I love about learning, because it's helping me, and it's powerful. It's powering me. So, like, every morning, I'll start my day, I'll do my little messages, but then I'll post, like, three things that I've read from a book, and it just resonates with me. And it's crazy because so many people are like, man, like, this really has helped me, you know? This really has. I didn't know. And, like, that's the thing, too. Like, I feel like people look at me with the UFC and the fighters and so much fun that they don't think that I have bad days. They don't think that I deal with stuff, you know, and it's like, no, bro, I'm human. Like, it's, you know, like, life happens to everybody. Right. You know what I'm saying?
- [20:40]
B
People see that way with celebrities and athletes.
- [20:42]
A
Right. 100. And they don't feel like. Like, oh, like, Cut man takes the press, you know? Like, I'm very adamant and very open that I see my therapist on Wednesdays and I read my. My books, the Mel Robbins and the Victor Frankels and the Daily Stokes. Like, I'm all about being very open. And that's one thing that being on social media and doing that presence is, like, I'm very open. Not so open with everything, like, but I'm very open with my struggles and my trials, you know? Like, I'm like, yo, bro, I struggle with that, too. So. And I feel like we need to do that more. Like, we're very good at showing the success stories.
- [21:22]
B
Right?
- [21:22]
A
So, like, I remember meeting you at Power. Stop saying, man, I want to start my own podcast, and I got to do, like, an episode, like, a run. Dude, it's harder than people look. Like, people listen. Podcasting is harder than you think.
- [21:34]
B
Yeah.
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A
And you only see the success. You see the Joe Rogans. You see you with your followers and all that. But, like, bro, it. It took a work. It was a lot to get there.
- [21:42]
B
You know, there's a lot of prep that goes into it, Logistics, expenses.
- [21:46]
A
Oh, man, it's. It just even being comfortable to sit down with a guest, to know. To let the guest talk, to know when you need to interrupt or interject or say, hey, like, I move on to a different topic. It's not easy.
- [21:58]
B
Oh, Yeah, I suck. My first probably 25, 50 episodes, bro.
- [22:02]
A
Really?
- [22:02]
B
Yeah, man.
- [22:03]
A
I just like, I.
- [22:04]
B
No one's good at it. Now. First, there's no way. Unless you're just a naturally good conversationalist.
- [22:08]
A
But. Okay.
- [22:09]
B
Podcasting is not easy.
- [22:10]
A
See, I'm a good conversation. But even then I still, it was like, I feel like with me, I just let the guest just run and I was never able to reel it back in. And then it just became like dysfunctional where we were just talking crap, which is still funny in itself. Yeah, like you'll definitely laugh, but it was like when you look at you or Rogan or anybody or what's the other guy that goes the ovo, they're so good at it and they're funny. They know when to interject, they know when to dial it back or turn it up.
- [22:41]
B
Yeah.
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A
And that's the thing about the feel for it.
- [22:43]
B
You'll get better over time.
- [22:44]
A
Good. I hope so.
- [22:45]
B
Like, you'll definitely get better. I would say probably like episode Hunter, maybe 200. I really felt like I was in groove.
- [22:51]
A
Okay, good. Each.
- [22:52]
B
Each time you get better, you know?
- [22:54]
A
Okay.
- [22:54]
B
Also, it depends on the guest.
- [22:56]
A
Okay. What do you mean? How you.
- [22:57]
B
Some guests talk a lot, some guests give one word answers. So you'll see as you film more and more guests, you're going to have to adap your style to the guest.
- [23:04]
A
Oh, thanks for that advice, bro. But I guess like in anything, man, just do it, you know, just get out there. Which is like I said, the Mel Robbins book. Let them. And the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Like, cuz that's another thing too. Like when I'm unsure of myself, I just do my little countdown and I just jump, man. We'll see what happens.
- [23:20]
B
So I like that. Have you figured out going back to mental health real quick? Have you figured out like the cause for your issues?
- [23:27]
A
My childhood.
- [23:28]
B
Childhood trauma.
- [23:29]
A
And again, so for me, being very honest and very free with you. My, my, you know, my childhood was, it wasn't, it was subtle. So I don't want to, I don't, I don't want to make it like, oh, I was abused and I was like that.
- [23:48]
B
Yeah.
- [23:49]
A
It was just stuff that my parents didn't know. So it's been able to work with them because going through therapy, like they've told me, like, very transparent. Like they did the best they could, but they didn't know. You know what I'm saying? So like, I can't fault my mom and my dad. They didn't really know they were doing the best they could with the limited information that they had, you know? But it's the cool thing now is to learn that and go back and be like, hey, Mom. Hi, dad. Like this. You know, maybe this wasn't here, and maybe I needed a better hug. But the thing that your parents look at is success. So in their eyes, you know, I'm not locked up. I'm not in jail. I'm not a drug addict. I graduated college. I mean, graduated college, graduated high school. So you're like, your success, but then you struggle with these internal demons where, like, am I good enough? Am I depressed? Like, am I. Am I showing out because I want attention? Like, am I making an ass of myself? Because, like, whatever. Like, I used to drink. I don't drink. I haven't drank in, like, 20 years.
- [24:52]
B
Wow.
- [24:52]
A
You know, never went to AA, but, like, I just realized, like, I had a lot of issues when I would drink. So, like, I just realized, hey, this is not for me. And I come from a family of alcoholics, so I was like, ooh. You know, but being able to. And again, I realized that at 20, I'm like, man, I'm good. Like, I didn't drink, but I had so many other things that I had issues with that I didn't know. And so then when you start talking to a therapist and, like, oh, you know, you start reading the books and you start learning about generational trauma, you know, from the books I read, they said that I think they want to say there's three, maybe four groups of children that are survivors that will have issues. And that's blacks from. Definitely from History of slavery.
- [25:43]
B
Yeah.
- [25:43]
A
Holocaust survivors. And now 9 11.
- [25:46]
B
Oh, wow.
- [25:46]
A
So the children of 911 survivors will grow up and will be depressed, will have anger issues, and will have all this holy crap because of how their parents, you know, raised them, because of the upbringing that they had. So when you learn those kind of things and you learn about that generational trauma, like, even with my daughter and dealing with her now, like, it dictates how I deal with her now, you know, because you want to break that cycle of what I was done the way I was raised, you know, like. And you hear it now with tough love thinking. And, like, now it's like, bro, parents in my household would get. Kids would get yelled at for being kids, you know, and then these kids grow up to be adults, and you're like, why is he so immature? Well, he never got to be a kid, so it's just a lot of stuff that I've uncovered that I've worked with, and I'm still learning, you know, And I love talking about it. Like, I love being open because I. I'm not the only one. And so many people are afraid to be vulnerable like that and be like, man, like, I don't feel like I got enough love or, like, I felt like maybe my parents were a little bit too tough on me, you know, and sometimes, like, I'm afraid to fail, you know? Like, you get so many people that certain things are driving them and you don't know what they're dealing with, you know, Like. And that's in itself is how life is. Like, I love Patty Pimlet because he's very open about his mental health.
- [27:08]
B
Right?
- [27:09]
A
Jared Gordon, Jay Gordon, Flash Gordon or something. He's another one that's really working on his mental health. So I love, like, the way we're going where, like, NFL players and professional athletes are starting to be more vocal about their mental health and trying to get better and get in places because, man, it sucks to rest and not rest. It sucks to sleep and not get a good night's sleep, you know, because there's so much on your mind and you're dealing with so much. But then to the world, you have this appearance of happy, Happy, jovial. And then you crash out and they're like, why?
- [27:42]
B
Yup. I think a lot of people, especially men, see vulnerability as a weakness.
- [27:47]
A
100, like, and again, that's. And I'm learning that, like, which is kind of fun. Like, man, like me and a couple of my buddies, we kind of start our men's group, and it's basically when we go in there, man, and it's like sessions. Like, we get in there and just get to just be, man, this happened, and blah, blah, blah. And, like, being heard is amazing. Like, when somebody can say, man, I hear you, you know, And I feel like. And like I said again, some men might not agree with or whatever, but I feel like men are not heard, especially when we say things like, I'm hurting.
- [28:20]
B
Right?
- [28:20]
A
You know? Or like, I'm lost.
- [28:22]
B
They'll call us soft for that.
- [28:23]
A
Oh, man, you've been. Oh, come on, man. Toughen up. You know what I'm saying? And again, don't get me wrong, you definitely want to be tough because life is not easy. But it's a whole different between being overly tough when you're like, yo, but you're so tough that you don't say, I'm hurting. And then you just run out and you're like, I've given up on life and then I kill myself or I fail to thrive.
- [28:46]
B
Right.
- [28:46]
A
So you definitely don't want to be in that situation.
- [28:48]
B
Well, it's interesting. When you look at some of the most muscular guys, they have the most insecurities.
- [28:52]
A
100. I was one of them. Like, it's crazy. Like, I was so insecure, man. Like, and even at the height of my game and being where I was at, like, you know, being a cut man. And it was crazy because some of my peers, like, I would make them not like me because I would be so loud and so just over the top bragging. And it was not because. It was not because of anything. It was like, I really wanted you to like me because I didn't like myself. Wow. You know what I'm saying? Like, I'm over here making the ass of myself trying to make you laugh so you would like me. And it's crazy, you know, like, when you finally realize that and like, even, like, saying that now open to you in the forum, it's like, man, like, I feel like a. Like a weight has been lifted off me because a lot of people just don't know. They're just like, man, you're so funny. You're this. And it's like, bro, like, I'm making the ask of myself, hoping you laugh because I want you to like me. And then you go too far and they're like, oh, my God, we don't want that guy around. He's always loud. He's always this. So it's like, like, you know, so now you kind of kind of fall back and then, like, let things happen. But not being the center of attention, not, you know, always trying to do this and trying to do that and being very genuine has definitely helped me.
- [30:10]
B
Yeah. I think that's our evolutionary brain where, right. We want to feel like we're part of something, a community. So we just try to cater towards people.
- [30:16]
A
100. 100. And then who doesn't want to be liked? Like, that's the thing too, is like, man, you get so addicted to that. Like, you know, and that's the thing. Like, even being in the UFC and. And being the cut man and being that, bro, like, you do get addicted to that, you know, people loving to see you in the spotlight. It does, man. It's like a drug.
- [30:37]
B
Yeah. You're on tv, bro.
- [30:38]
A
It's like shooting dope without a needle. So like now, like, trying to learn that and, like, trying to get balance and stuff like that. But it's still fun and I enjoy it. Like, I love interacting with the fans, and I, I. They literally, like, make it so fun. But then at the same time, too, I'm also having to learn that balance. Like, look, I can give you guys Friday and Saturday, but, like, after that, I need to take some time for me as well. Yeah. If I don't do that, then, like, you know, when I start craving that attention, then I start not becoming as genuine and then I'm just doing. And you're like, yeah, you know, like, and you see that where, like, you'll see somebody rise, and then all of a sudden you're like, what happened to that person? Yeah, it's because they. They're not being genuine anymore. Like, now they love that limelight and they love that spotlight so much. Now they're just going our way to create instead of just letting it happen, you know, and that's kind of been the fun thing with me. Like, I'm just doing. And things happen. That's funny. And we can go off that. But, like, you know, I don't ever want to be that guy where I'm looking for the camera and then I'm. I'm doing stuff to be like, oh, like, I don't ever want to be that person. I just want you to be real. And when you meet me, you're. That was a genuine interaction and, you know, we had fun with that respect.
- [31:50]
B
That goes a long way with fighters, I bet, because they got. They got a lot of yes men around them and stuff.
- [31:54]
A
I don't know, like, that. I just think the fighters with me, man, is like, I'm very, Like I said again, I'm very genuine. And so, like, I want them to know when I come in there, like, jokes aside, if you want to talk shit, we can talk. If you want to be serious, we can be serious. But whatever we're going to do, I want you to know you're getting the best version of me. You're going to get the best. So if I'm wrapping your hands to knock somebody out, whether it be a Charles Oliveira or Ilya, whatever, or Patty, just know when I wrap your hands, those hands are going to be the best that I could do. And then I want you to know, too, that I'm giving that person the best of me as well. And that, to me, I feel like with the fighters, they can appreciate that.
- [32:35]
B
Right.
- [32:35]
A
You know, they won't fare. They don't want this. Well, I had this edge, because if you did have an edge and that Other guy didn't have the edge. Did you really accomplish anything right? You know what I'm saying? So, like I said. I remember. Like, I said, dude, I'm such a movie buff and TV buff, but, like, I think it may have been like, Cobra Kai, where the guy was like, a guy kills a bear in the woods or a line in the woods, and then this guy kills a lion in a cage. Which one is the bigger badass? And I feel like the fighters want that too. You know what I'm saying? Like, they want you to give their best, because I think they're giving their best. And I feel like if a fighter knew that I went in and did something that wasn't on the up and up, I think they would just. I think deep down, they would just look at me different.
- [33:21]
B
100.
- [33:21]
A
They would just be like, dude, you're a piece of shit. You know what I'm saying? So I'm very like, look, dude, and it happens. We're like, I'll be wrapping this guy's hand and wrap this guy's hand, you know? And it's like, bro, I leave me out of it. I want you both to be successful, you know, And I'm prepared for one of you to win and be happy for you, and then one of you to lose and be like, hey, man, next time, you know, and you will get better because of this loss, and hopefully you will become humble, humble in your victory, and then you guys will meet later on down the road, and y' all will continue to thrive. Respect.
- [33:54]
B
Now, you've seen some nasty injuries. Does that ever affect your mental? Just seeing that so close up?
- [33:59]
A
I was a paramedic for so long that, like, no, not really. And again, like, when you talk and you try to tell people about mma, the first thing they go is, it's so brutal. And. And. Which I know to the layperson, it seems brutal, but it's not brutal because there's no malice. Like, you're not watching somebody get jumped. You're not watching somebody injured with intent to injure. Like, these guys are not punching people with the intent to hurt this person or in this person's life. This is a sport for them. And so when you look at. In that context, you're like, okay, I can see that. And I think that's what helps these guys, too. Like, these guys are not out there to maim and injure and break and cripple each other. They're out there for sport. They're out there to feed their families and. And do something like that.
- [34:51]
B
Yeah.
- [34:52]
A
So that's where I don't understand, like, now when I was a firefighter and you just watch a guy get shot or a child be abused or a car wreck or something like that, that was a lot harder to watch than fights.
- [35:04]
B
Damn.
- [35:04]
A
Yeah.
- [35:05]
B
Yeah, that.
- [35:05]
A
Because it was malice, like, you know what I'm saying? Like a stupidity. You watch a drunk run into somebody and kill a family, you know, like, that didn't have to happen versus the fights. You know, a cut and, you know, most things in the occasion happen can be mended and can be fixed in a couple of months. You know what I'm saying?
- [35:24]
B
Right. There's a business side of things. Right. They put on a little bit of a show.
- [35:27]
A
100. So nothing like that bothers me too much. So as, like I said, I still enjoy it. It's. It's nothing like that.
- [35:35]
B
So what have been your biggest takeaways and lessons? Being around Dana White.
- [35:44]
A
Honestly, man, like, I feel like with him, man, with much respect, like, he kind of gives you, like, if he can do it, then I should be able to do it kind of mentality because, like, he was not born with a silver spoon.
- [36:02]
B
Right.
- [36:03]
A
And then, like, on top of that, the man doesn't rest like, you know, certified billionaire. And, like, he's studied on. He wants more, you know, does what he does with the ufc, then he does power slap, and then from power slap, he goes to boxing now.
- [36:20]
B
Yeah.
- [36:21]
A
So much respect to him because it's like, wow, like, if he can do it, then I should be able to do it. And then, like, he's never one to rest on his accomplishments. He's always continuing to grow and do more, you know, so who knows what he'll be doing in the next year. You know, he might be on some panel making the world better again. So I love that. And just to be around someone like that and to see that, you know, you're just. You're around a lot of great people.
- [36:49]
B
Yeah.
- [36:49]
A
You know, like, that's the one thing, too, I don't think, from Dana White to Joe Burrow in the front, like, you. You're seeing a lot of alphas around, and you're like, wow. Like, you know what I'm saying? You can see how they walk. You can see how they conduct themselves, and. And that's kind of a cool sport about it, you know, like, all the professional athletes that come and the movie stars and stuff like that, and when you see these people and you go, wow, like, he's the best at his craft. Right now, you know, that's Travis Kelsey or that, that's Pat Mahomes. You know, it's surreal at first, but then you're like, this is a human being. You know, he laughs, he has families, he's surrounded by his friends and stuff like that.
- [37:26]
B
Yeah, you're surrounded by the top achievers in the world, man. Trump's a lot of fights. Rogan's the best podcaster in the world. I mean, must be a crazy environment.
- [37:34]
A
Yeah. So, like, when you see that kind of stuff, that it's very humbling, but it's also like, man, like, you know, and again, these are not people that are with the athletes giving. Yes. Because you're like six four, fast as hell, whatever. But, like, some of these people, like, what was Joe Rogan doing before he became the best podcaster? You know what I'm saying? He was an average person. So it's the true American dream. You know, you start from nothing and you build your way up. That's the kind of thing, like, even, like, where I started, as in the cut man game, to where I'm trying to go now. Yeah, you're just around those people and they keep just, you know, you want to go to the top, you know, like, I'm in the best MMA organization in the planet, you know, like, who knew that that would happen? You know, so look where you're at now. And then you got to keep going, you got to keep getting better. You know, I got to keep trying to stick around because these younger people that reaching out to me, like, man, I want you to wrap my hands when I get there, so. And you. And you can't be afraid to change. Like, you know, these guys are going to want something different. You know, you got to be willing to change and go with what's going on, to stick around, you know?
- [38:38]
B
Yeah.
- [38:39]
A
There's a reason why the dinosaurs are not here.
- [38:41]
B
Brad, this was a fun episode, man. I'm really impressed with your intellect.
- [38:45]
A
Appreciate you.
- [38:45]
B
Never judge a book by its cover is what I tell people.
- [38:48]
A
Right. Thank you, cuz.
- [38:49]
B
If they saw you on tv, they would just assume you're some Jack guy that's like helping people. But you have a lot of knowledge, man.
- [38:54]
A
Bro, I appreciate you. Thank you so much for having me on. Like, it was a pleasure.
- [38:58]
B
Absolutely, man. I'd love to have you back on.
- [38:59]
A
Oh, I would love to, man. This was the best. Like, honestly, I love the way, bro, I've learned so much from you because again, like, you didn't ask me what did you do. And how did you get in this, bro? I love the way you are. You just amazing.
- [39:13]
B
Thanks, man. It means a lot. Yeah. Check him out, guys. We'll put his social media handles below. Peace.
- [39:18]
A
Thank you.
- [39:19]
C
I hope you guys are enjoying the show. Please don't forget to like and subscribe.
- [39:22]
B
It helps the show a lot with the algorithm.
- [39:24]
A
Thank you.