Dating in LA: The Red Flags You’re Ignoring | Katie Thurston DSH #869

Summary

Digital Social Hour: "Dating in LA: The Red Flags You’re Ignoring" with Katie Thurston

Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Katie Thurston
Release Date: November 8, 2024

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Introduction: Katie’s Unexpected Journey into Reality TV and Poker

In this engaging episode of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly sits down with Katie Thurston, a multifaceted personality known for her stint on reality TV, her prowess in poker, and her burgeoning career in comedy. Katie opens up about her surprising entry into the world of reality television and how she navigated the challenges that came with it.

Notable Quote:
"I didn't know that [fetish websites] were a thing until I went on reality TV."
— Katie Thurston [00:00]

Navigating the Reality TV Landscape

Katie recounts her experience on The Bachelor, detailing the rigorous selection process that included multiple rounds of interviews, medical and psychological evaluations, and background checks. She shares her initial surprise at being offered the role of the Bachelorette despite not making it far in the competition, highlighting how reality TV can pivot one’s life in unexpected directions.

Notable Quote:
"It's 1,000%. Like it's crazy, like, how much can change in such a short time."
— Katie Thurston [03:35]

The Intensity of Reality TV Relationships

Delving deeper into her time on The Bachelor, Katie discusses the high-pressure environment, limited sleep, and constant scrutiny that contestants face. She sheds light on why maintaining genuine connections is challenging under such conditions and why many early-season relationships don’t stand the test of time.

Notable Quote:
"You're always falling for me. I'm gonna go far, you know?"
— Katie Thurston [04:36]

Transition to Comedy and Building a Career in LA

After her reality TV experience, Katie transitions into comedy, performing in various cities before settling in Los Angeles. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity in her performances and her commitment to providing quality entertainment rather than overextending herself on stage.

Notable Quote:
"I'm not gonna stand on stage for 60 minutes and fake my way through that. No one's gonna have a good time."
— Katie Thurston [11:55]

Financial Realities of Comedy

Katie discusses the financial aspects of pursuing a career in comedy, referencing her Instagram video where she transparently breaks down her earnings. She explains how initial impressive numbers can dwindle after accounting for expenses, but highlights the potential for growth as one gains experience and a larger fan base.

Notable Quote:
"After that much goes to the club and this much goes to a manager... I think the take home after that might have been like, I think, I don't know, 8,000, maybe once you deduct all costs."
— Katie Thurston [12:56]

Personal Life: Dating in Los Angeles vs. Long-Distance Relationships

Katie shares her personal experiences with dating in Los Angeles, contrasting them with her current long-distance relationship with a comedian from New York. She underscores the intentionality required to build meaningful connections, especially when navigating the challenges of distance and differing lifestyles.

Notable Quote:
"If you talk to someone for a whole month without alcohol, sex, you know, seeing each other and you can still, like, vibe, then, like, it's probably a good way to, like, start."
— Katie Thurston [08:48]

Red Flags and Social Media Scrutiny

The conversation turns to the pitfalls of being in the public eye, particularly how social media can amplify personal challenges. Katie recounts instances where her social media posts were misinterpreted, leading to backlash and highlighting the importance of mental resilience when under constant public scrutiny.

Notable Quote:
"When people ask me if they want to do it, I always say, like, how is your mental health? How strong are you mentally? Because it is a rough road ahead for the next six months."
— Katie Thurston [21:27]

Community Building and Embracing Unconventional Interests

Katie touches on her involvement with niche communities, such as those interested in feet pics, and her non-judgmental stance towards diverse interests and kinks. She emphasizes the importance of community, regardless of its origin, and her commitment to fostering inclusive spaces.

Notable Quote:
"I will never kink shame. 'Cause everyone has their own."
— Katie Thurston [16:56]

Future Endeavors and Balancing Career Aspirations

Looking ahead, Katie discusses her focus on selling a TV show and the strategic steps she’s taking to advance her career in entertainment. She also reflects on the practical aspects of living in LA, such as the logistics of attending comedy clubs, and the personal growth she has experienced through her various roles.

Notable Quote:
"Right now my biggest focus is selling a TV show, so can't say much more about that. We have some pretty big meetings next month. That's like my primary focus."
— Katie Thurston [26:02]

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Conclusion

Throughout the episode, Katie Thurston provides a candid and insightful look into the complexities of dating in Los Angeles, the realities of life in the public eye, and the dedication required to build a successful career in comedy and entertainment. Her honest reflections and engaging storytelling offer valuable lessons on recognizing red flags, maintaining authenticity, and the importance of community support.

Final Notable Quote:
"Love is love and, you know, there's so many kids that need to be adopted."
— Katie Thurston [25:32]

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For more insights and updates on Katie Thurston’s journey, follow her on Instagram as mentioned towards the end of the episode.

Transcript

[A]

Okay, so here's the thing with the feet pics. I didn't know that was like, a thing until I went on reality tv. And there's a website.

[B]

I don't know if you ever heard Feet Finder, right?

[A]

Well, no, but you know that one. No. WikiFeet. It's a ranking for feet. You can search any celebrity, reality star, whatever, and it'll show the ranking and all these random feet photos. Literally, it could be a foot photo that was from a story and someone will, like, screenshot it and put it on this website. Yeah.

[B]

That is crazy. All right, guys, Comedian and poker champion.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Katie Thurston here, winning the celebrity tournament, 82 players.

[A]

It was 82. I couldn't remember. There were so many.

[B]

There was nine tables of nine or so. 81.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's impressive.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

You must have done a lot of practicing before that.

[A]

I downloaded a poker app and I played a lot on my phone. But, like, when I was. When I was 18, I was dating a guy who really loved poker. So much so that we went to prom and then to a card room afterwards.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Because we were too young for, like, a casino, but card rooms, you could. Dude, 18.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

So we played some poker, and I really hadn't played in a while, but the skill's there, you know, it's like riding a bike. Like, you always kind of know it. And so I just kind of played on my phone a little bit.

[B]

You were dominating.

[A]

The background of my phone during the tournament was like, literally the hand rankings, just in case I forgot.

[B]

But, you know, you were knocking out champs, you were knocking out pros. I mean, I don't think a lot of people saw that coming. Did anyone bet on you?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I told my people to bet on me because the odds were 75 to 1.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Your money on me. I promise you're going to get paid.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

And they did.

[B]

So if someone bet 100, they won. What is that, 750 or 7,500 bucks?

[A]

Is that how that works with sports betting? I don't know.

[B]

75 to 1. Holy crap.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, I'll bet on you on the next one.

[A]

Well, now the odds are definitely going to change because now everyone knows I know how to play your table.

[B]

Probably thought you were just like, oh.

[A]

Bryce hall talks so much. He was such a little dick. And then even afterwards, I, like, DM'd him and I was like, nice playing with you, loser. Yeah, he never responded.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

He's pretty butthurt. I saw his interview and I Was like, oh, he's pissed.

[B]

He's actually decent at poker.

[A]

But I know that's why he's mad, because it is hard to play in a tournament with like, people who know how to play and then people have no idea what they're doing because you can't read that.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So I get it. But like, he also was giving me. I'm like, let me take my 20k and talk to you later.

[B]

Did you knock him out?

[A]

I don't think I did. I don't think it was me. No.

[B]

Okay. And you guys had that girl that was halfway on the table or something.

[A]

Oh, oh, God. I forget her name, but yeah, she's I think from like America's Got Talent.

[B]

Yeah, that was insane.

[A]

Flexible.

[B]

Yeah. Was on the table and her body was of the.

[A]

Sophie.

[B]

Sophie was her name Sophie Dosey, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That was crazy. Well done. Are you playing in games out here too?

[A]

No, like that was it like a one and done? You know, like, I don't really play poker. Like, I just got invited and I was like, ah, why not?

[B]

So back to comedy then?

[A]

Back to comedy.

[B]

And you just did Oklahoma and a couple other states.

[A]

Boston, Washington. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

What was the favorite out of those three?

[A]

Oh, honestly, I think Spokane, Washington was fun. Yeah, yeah. It's a small little city and I think they just really love to come out for comedy. And so it was a sold out show and my hometown is Washington. So like, it was just a lot of like progressive Pacific Northwest vibes, you know, so it was just fun time.

[B]

Yeah. Were you a bank marketing manager in Washington?

[A]

Yeah, I was in finance, like all of my working life. So it was just. I was not expecting to ever take the direction that my life is now. You know, I was very settled in my career. I just bought a condo, you know, Covid was hitting like everything was just very like traditional 9 to 5 life. And then one day I signed up for reality tv and then it just never slowed down.

[B]

Dang, what a big change. That's like a 180 almost.

[A]

Oh, 1,000%. Like it's crazy, like, how much can change in such a short time.

[B]

Yeah. So you literally just applied online and it worked.

[A]

Yeah, at the time I was 29 and I remember thinking like, oh, I'm going to be too old, like for reality tv. That's considered like elderly.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I was like, this is the last year, like at this they will never pick me up, you know, once I hit 30. And then I got the first call and I was like, oh, and then I got another call because there's so many, like, rounds of interviews. And every time I got a call, I was like, oh, I think this is happening.

[B]

Holy crap. How many rounds were there?

[A]

God, I couldn't even remember. Like, there's, like, there's medical, there's psych eval, background checks, interviews with, like, producers, pre screeners, executive producers. It's a lot. So every time you're like, no way do I make it to the next round. And then you get the call, and it's like, okay, you're on the show. We leave in two weeks.

[B]

And you're like, that's nuts. And that was the Bachelor, right?

[A]

That was the Bachelor first. And that was during COVID So I was like, what else am I gonna do? You know?

[B]

So did you have to wear masks on the show?

[A]

We did not, but we had to have Covid tests every three days, and then we could only film in a bubble, like, on a resort. Which was unfortunate, because normally with the show, you travel the world. Like, you get to go everywhere, you know? But no, it was very rigorous testing, and everyone working, like, who wasn't in front of a camera all had masks on. And if you got Covid, you'd have to go home.

[B]

Did that happen anyone?

[A]

Not on my season. But, you know, Covid was around for a couple years during filming. Yeah, so I think it happened on at least one or two other seasons, though.

[B]

Wow. Did you make it farther than you thought you would?

[A]

I actually went home sooner than I thought I would. But I don't. I don't know if that's just part of the. The manipulation. I don't know if that's part of, like, the. The brain fuck that happens there. Because everyone thinks that he's in love with you. You're always falling for me. I'm gonna go far, you know? And then I had this. I don't know if you watched the show, but they're called one on one dates. And so I'm all like, you know? And he picks up this asshole Matt. He picks up the rose as if he's about to give it to me. And then he sets it down, which is like, you know, I'm gonna go home.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

And I know the camera was, like, waiting for, like, that face drop or something. And I just remember smiling and then holding my breath. I was like, I'm not giving you any reaction right now.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

So, yeah, I actually was 11th place.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Before then being offered the Bachelorette, which at the time was, like, the lowest ranking Person to then be offered a lead role.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Normally it's someone from like, the top four.

[B]

Oh, I didn't know that's how it worked.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Which show did you like better?

[A]

I mean, you get paid to be the bachelorette, so at least pay me for my trauma.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, but I will say it was a lot harder too. Like, people think it's very fun. Like, you're dating all these men. It's not fun. Like, you don't get a lot of sleep, you don't eat a lot of food. Like, you're just, like, delirious for busy. Six weeks. Yeah.

[B]

Six weeks.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Holy crap. I didn't know it was that long.

[A]

Yeah. And it's non stop. Like, you literally, like, you get four hours of sleep because they're on. Like, I forget what it's called. But with the camera crew, like, they have strict hours of when they can and cannot work. And so we have to kind of like, go with them and we can't. We don't have room to just, like, sleep in a day.

[B]

Only four hours of sleep. Jeez. So you don't even know if you're picking the right dude at that point. You're just delirious.

[A]

And if you're crying, you're just tired. People, like, why is everyone crying? I'm like, they're tired and they're hungry. They're. We're turning like babies.

[B]

That's crazy. Has anyone actually married or stayed long term from this show?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Like the earlier ones, though, that's the thing. Because as social media becomes more popular, more people go on the show. The famous phrase is for the wrong reasons. And so that's the unfortunate part is, you know, the exposure that these people get and the opportunities they get kind of outweighs a lot of the. The love, the potential love, you know? So a lot of the early ones definitely worked out. They have kids, they're married, they're happy. And then the more recent ones have been like six months at the most for their engagements back to back to back. And then.

[B]

Dang it.

[A]

And.

[B]

Oh, so you get engaged.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

I was engaged to a Canadian at the time. Yeah. During COVID So that was just like, everything stacked against us because traveling to Canada during COVID was, like, impossible.

[B]

You couldn't do it. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I think they banned it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So that's why. So that ended.

[A]

That ended. Yes, I know.

[B]

Gave the ring back.

[A]

You have to. It's not. It's never really Your ring? Yeah.

[B]

Okay. See, some girls keep it, though.

[A]

Well, there's a lot of rules around how you can keep it. And even. Even then, when it's yours, if you go to sell it, they get the first rights to buy it back.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

For the price they want.

[B]

I didn't know that.

[A]

So it's never really.

[B]

Oh, so you just buy back for a dollar, Literally.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I don't think that anyone's ever, like, taken it as far as being able to actually try and sell it, because what's the point?

[B]

Dang. Good to know you recently moved to la. You started dating around here yet?

[A]

I did try to date a little bit in la, but I did just start dating a guy from New York.

[B]

Whoa. Yeah, that's a long.

[A]

It's long distance. But he's also a comic, so we kind of have the flexibility of being able to, like, travel and see each other. And our lifestyles are obviously very similar, so it's been going very well so far.

[B]

Props to you. Distance is tough.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, it's great because we actually. We met. This is even public yet, but I know, I know this podcast will come out later, but we met because we had plans to get drinks when he was in town and I'd never met him before, but we weren't obviously in the same circles. And then he had to bail last minute because he ended up in the hospital.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah, he, like, injured his hand. Whatever. And then we end up chatting that night. You know, he's like, hey, sorry, I had to bail. We chat all night, and then for the next month, we never see each other. We just chat. And I think that's, like, the difference of, like, LA dating and, like, being really intentional with dating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

If you talk to someone for a whole month without alcohol, sex, you know, seeing each other and you can still, like, vibe, then, like, it's probably a good way to, like, start.

[B]

That's a good sign, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It doesn't happen often in la.

[A]

LA was the worst. I did. I hated it so much. I did. I dated, like, went on dates. I shouldn't even say dated. Most of the guys were great, but there was one guy who, like, made a TikTok about our date. Just, like, such a clout chaser. Just, like. Just like this privileged Six Six guy. So, like us women, I'm six Six. Look, this is what happens with you guys that are tall. We ignore red flags. Like, oh, he's tall. The red flags don't see him because they're, like, way up There, you know, so there's a lot of things I ignored. And then like, the next day I was like, no, I think this guy's literally a walking red flag.

[B]

Damn. Okay, so a comic in New York. Is it Akash?

[A]

No.

[B]

All right, that was my one guess.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Because I know Schultz is married and I don't know any other comic. Well, I tried, but.

[A]

Good guess.

[B]

Are you ever gonna publicize it? Because public relationships are tough too, right?

[A]

Oh, I mean, we. We're out in public together and he'll talk about me, like on stage and stuff. So it's not, it's not that we're hiding it. It's just we, at this point on this date, we aren't like on social media.

[B]

Got it. You know, that's where it gets dicey.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially like Bachelor Nation. They can be intense.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But he's a great comic, so he's not problematic. That's where you dip into, like, bad territories. If you date someone with like a history, they'll find it. They'll. They'll dissect that.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

So this guy, squeaky clean background.

[B]

Holy crap. So the fans of the show are like running background checks on your boyfriend?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. I very short term dated a guy, a comic. I must have a type.

[B]

You like comics?

[A]

Well, the thing is kind of like being co workers, you know, it's like we. We get each other's industry, our work. Like, we work late. We work with like men and women. It's just a weird world, you know, And a lot of people don't understand it unless you're in it. And so it's just like, I guess the easier person to, like, relate to. But yeah, he had a little bit of a past with who he hung out with, and I never even posted about him. They sleuthed it out based on. I'm not even kidding. Based on tags and stories and like, that's his TV stand on her store. It's crazy.

[B]

That is nuts.

[A]

It's crazy. And then, and then they start dissecting things that are like five plus years old, and I'm like, oh, my God, this poor guy.

[B]

Yeah, that's rough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So what is your style of comedy? Because I've never seen someone on the Bachelorette be a comedian. That's pretty unique.

[A]

I mean, it's. I'm new, so I mean, it's like, it's the low hanging fruit, as I like to call it, which is like dating and sex and what it's like to be in your 30s, you know, like, stuff that's just, like, relatable, but, like, also personable to, like, my situation of, like, let me tell you about a bad date I went on. Let me tell you about this sexually awkward experience that I had, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's just stuff like that. But then also, because I'm new, when I'm on the road, I'll bring more experienced comics with me.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And it's kind of like my way of, like, sharing the wealth, sharing the stage, sharing the audience, you know, it's like I'm only like a year and a half in, and I. And I love it, you know, But I'm not gonna, like, stand on stage for 60 minutes and fake my way through that. No one's gonna have a good time, you know, so I'll do, like 20, 25 minutes. I'll bring and, you know, a host, an opener, a feature, you know, whatever, and just make it like a universal show.

[B]

That's cool.

[A]

Guaranteed everyone's gonna have a good time.

[B]

Yeah. 60 would be tough.

[A]

People do that, though. That's the thing that people screw up on is like, they're like, oh, I have an audience. And then they don't put in the time to perform to. To work it out on stage, and then they just, like, fake their way through, and then no one's buying tickets again.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I've. I've performed now in Washington twice, and I've had people come for the sec, like a second time, you know, and, like, that speaks volume to, like, how much fun they had. And that's not even, like, a compliment to me, is just, like, how I run my show. So, you know, like, I'm. Again, I'm going to make sure I have good people there. I'm going to make sure I'm prepared and that. That people want to come back time and time again.

[B]

Yeah, that's cool. Do you have the same material each show or do you switch it up?

[A]

I mean, it varies. It's like someone who saw me last year might hear a joke, but it's going to be better a year from now because now it's. There's the longer version of it, the tighter version of it. You get rid of some of the extra stuff that doesn't matter, you know, and that just comes with time, is like, you figure out how to say that joke, but just better.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So sometimes it's going to be the same, but then also there's just going to be new stuff inspired from that topic that branches into a Whole other.

[B]

Story on the money side of things. I saw your Instagram video. You did 21,001 month.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

That's pretty impressive for just starting.

[A]

I mean. Yeah, but the thing is, like, in that video, I really break it down. You know, people think, oh, that's like quick money. And sure, it can be. But then you deduct hotel, flight, flight. You're paying those talented people that are joining you to come as well. You know, food ubers. All of a sudden it starts to really, like, dwindle and that's all pre tax, you know. So as a, like a former banker, I just thought it would be like a fun video to be transparent on. Like, here's how much, you know, I made. But then this much goes to the club and this much goes to a manager. And like, really? I think the take home after that might have been like, I think, I don't know, 8,000, maybe once you deduct all costs. And that was for like a weekend.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, just for two shows.

[A]

That was. That was three shows in that video that you're referencing.

[B]

Got it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So if you do that twice a month, that's pretty good money.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Well, and you figure bigger comics are doing bigger venues, they're doing multiple shows in one night. So, like, the more experience you get and the bigger your fan base is. There's definitely money to be had there.

[B]

And then the specials, too.

[A]

Oh, I mean, the specials. That's really where it can pay off too.

[B]

Yeah. Nikki just launched one, which is perfect timing.

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, she's had so many at this point. Point, though. She's amazing.

[B]

Yeah, she's probably. Is she the goat for the female comedians?

[A]

You know, I don't know. I think it's all subjective. Like, my personal favorite is Ali Wong. Whitney Cummings. I mean, there's so many. Nikki's been in for a long time. You know, she's having her viral moments right now with that latest roast and her specials and stuff. But there's just so many great women in comedy. I don't know if I could, like, give her that title. I don't know if I could give anyone that title, you know, because there's so many.

[B]

Yeah, so many great. Yeah. Comedy is so subjective to each person, truly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That makes sense. If you got offered a million dollars to be roasted on television, you do it.

[A]

Oh, for sure.

[B]

For a million.

[A]

Yeah, I. I just. I had a show last year in San Diego where I was roasted for basically free.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So. And it was, it was super fun. Like, I. I can. I can roll with the punches. I mean, there are some pretty aggressive.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Things.

[B]

Brady said he actually regretted it. I mean, he probably made a fat.

[A]

Bag, but he has a problematic past, you know, so, like, obviously that's gonna hurt a little. Like, the worst thing I did was what? Sell, like, feet picks on only fans, maybe, or.

[B]

You did that?

[A]

Yeah. Wow. Yeah. All day dildo on. On the Bachelor. Like, I don't know.

[B]

That's not too bad. Feet picks. I mean, I would sell a fee pick for money.

[A]

Yeah. Well, I didn't. Okay, so here's the thing with the feet picks. I didn't know that was, like, a thing until I went on reality tv. And then all the. I call them feet people, because I don't want to call them. We're like, oh, you have really nice feet. I didn't. I didn't know that you could have, like, nice feet versus not nice feet or whatever. And there's a website.

[B]

I don't know if you've ever heard.

[A]

Well, no, but you know that one. No. Wikifee. It's a ranking for feet. So if you go to wikifeet.com. i'm not sponsored. You can search any celebrity, reality, star, whatever, and it'll show the ranking and all these random feet photos.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Like, literally, it could be a foot photo that was from my story, and someone will, like, screenshot it and put it on this website. Yeah.

[B]

That is crazy. How did they rank it?

[A]

I'm not a foot person. I don't know. Like, your arch, maybe the angle of the toe I have. I don't know. Because also, sometimes they like the. The bigger pinky. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I apparently had nice feet, so I was like, I'm gonna see how this goes. The first time I did it, I made 10 grand, what, in, like, a week? Donated to the Boys and Girls Club because I was like, well, that was. That was too easy.

[B]

Donated all of it?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I would have kept some of it.

[A]

I mean, it was just, like, easy money. And in some weird way, it felt like a Robin Hood moment of, like, thank you, men. I'm gonna give it back to the children, you know? Like, I didn't. I don't need it, like, financially, like, it's whatever, you know? But it's just another platform of building a community, which, to me, community, no matter where it's from, is just, like, always important.

[B]

Yeah. I'm going to research that site for educational purposes. I wonder No, I really wonder what the top foot is and like, what goes into it. That's. That's interesting.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it depends. Like, I think there's just different. You know, some people like the tattooed foot. People, like, will ask weird things. Like, I'm still learning. Like, I don't know, they'll be like, they want to see your foot coming in and out of like a high heel. They want to see your foot being tickled. They want. Wow, there's just. People love white socks, dirty socks. I don't know, it's all. I'd love to know, like, the, like the psychic behind it.

[B]

Yeah, like, that's interesting.

[A]

Someone said it's. It reminds them of like, their mother's feet, like if they're a baby. And then like, women. I don't know. Yeah. I can't relate. But I will never kink shame. Cuz everyone has their own.

[B]

Everyone's got theirs. Yeah, I'm not public with mine. I don't think I ever will be.

[A]

Oh, but you have one.

[B]

I think we all do, right? You have some?

[A]

No, I. I honestly feel like I'm kind of vanilla. I think if I was to mention any of my kinks, they're like, probably standard. Like, oh, choke me. That's nice.

[B]

Choking. I'd consider it.

[A]

But like. But then there's like, ones that are like, beyond. Yeah, beyond the. The entry level of kinks.

[B]

Handcuffs.

[A]

I see even that. Like, that's in movies. That seems like a normal.

[B]

Really? Yeah, I think that's.

[A]

Oh, you think that's kinky?

[B]

I think so. Right? Maybe I'm just vanilla. I don't know.

[A]

Well, I think that's just like. If you're opening the door to kinks, those are beginner kinks.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You know, like, standard.

[B]

So what's the next level?

[A]

Whips and like bdsm.

[B]

What's that?

[A]

It's like where you get all like. I think. I don't. I don't. I don't want to describe this wrong, but I think it's like, with the leather and then like a gag ball and like.

[B]

What?

[A]

Okay, so you're probably vanilla too. You're. You should be okay with your kinks.

[B]

Okay. Damn. I didn't know.

[A]

You're like, whoa. The fact you didn't even know what that word was, that tells me your kink's probably pretty entry level.

[B]

Well, I watched Fifty Shades of Gray. I think that was.

[A]

No, that's. Well, he gets a little wild. Yeah.

[B]

So that's not even kinky, dude.

[A]

Well, No, I mean, I didn't watch the movie, but I know some of his. He has a whole sex room. That's. That's. That's, like king level of. Yeah. Of kink status.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't have a bedroom dedicated to that.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe it comes with the age.

[A]

With age experience.

[B]

Yeah. Maybe we'll grow into it. I guess we're vanilla for now.

[A]

Furries. That's a. That's.

[B]

I've heard of furries.

[A]

That's a pretty intense one.

[B]

Yeah. You wear a tail, right?

[A]

Or a full costume. Like. Like a full costume. Like a mascot.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I've seen a furry convention once. It was pretty cool.

[B]

You went to it?

[A]

Well, I didn't go to it, but they just, as a group, were walking through the town, and I was like, oh. And then it's funny because the adults know what that is, but the kids don't. And so the kids are, like, wanting photos with these, like, cats and dogs and tigers. And I'm like. I feel conflicted because there's probably semen on that, but, you know, whatever.

[B]

There's some furries at schools.

[A]

Oh, yeah? Yeah, Yeah. I guess I have seen that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like pre. Preteen furbies.

[B]

Yeah. And they're allowed to spit on people without getting. Yeah. Because they're cats.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're lying.

[B]

No, I swear to God. Look it up. So they could spit on you.

[A]

You can't do shit in high school.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You can just spit on people.

[B]

Yeah. And there's litter boxes in their high school.

[A]

Okay, no, no, no. I've heard this. I heard this was a hoax.

[B]

Was it?

[A]

Because I heard the cat box thing, I was like, there's no fucking way they're allowing that.

[B]

Okay, so maybe it's fake news.

[A]

I think it's fake news. I want the evidence.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Show me the. Show me the real live footage of that.

[B]

All right. We'll have the producer research it then.

[A]

I mean, it is 2024. It's not like it is believable, but at some point, you gotta be like.

[B]

I mean, it's believable. Look at what's going on right now.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

What a. I don't want to get you canceled. There's some.

[A]

I've been canceled, like, 20 times.

[B]

Have you?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Saying what?

[A]

Well, it's just, like. You just don't know. Like, the very first time I experienced, like, being canceled was I posted. I was fresh off the Bachelorette, and I was posting a photo of me kissing my girlfriend's cheek. Like, friend. That's a girl. Her cheek. And behind us was a neon sign said, girls, Girls, Girls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And my caption said, like, whatever floats your boat. And then my girlfriend commented and was like, tune in to see it, who she really picks or something like that. No big deal if we're drunk. I go to bed, the next morning, I wake up, I learned about the term called queer baiting. I'd never even heard it before. And basically it's where you use, like, queerness to, like, sell something. And so it was just like this whole polarizing dialogue on, like, was it queer baiting? Was it not? Was what I posted okay? Was it not? And I was. And that was my, like, first introduction to, like, Bachelor Nation. And I was like, wow. Oh, I am not trained for any of this right now.

[B]

We're baiting. I've never heard of that.

[A]

I was going to have to learn as I go. And then, like, shortly afterwards, I had a post again where I typed snow bunny. Well, in Washington, that's like a cute, like, snowboarder girl with, like, her beanie, whatever. But on, like, what's the website where you search slang words?

[B]

Oh, Urban dictionary.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, Urban dictionary. Snow bunny is like, like, a white girl who dates black guys or like a black guy who dates white girls or like, someone who does coke. I don't know. There were so many different terms and people like, I couldn't believe you posted snow bunny.

[B]

That's crazy. There's a word for everything on that site.

[A]

Yeah. So I just like, I have to learn as I go, you know, I fuck up and then I'm educated and I go, cool, never again.

[B]

And you're kind of under a microscope with Bachelor Nation.

[A]

Big time.

[B]

Because they're just analyzing all your posts, everything. Dang. So there's pros and cons of doing it.

[A]

Yeah. You know, when people ask me if they want to do it, I always say, like, well, how is your mental health? How strong are you mentally? Because it is a rough road ahead for the next six months.

[B]

Wow. Do you talk to the other girls about it?

[A]

Oh, yeah. I mean, we're. The bachelorettes are all in, like, a group chat.

[B]

Oh, yeah. That's cool.

[A]

Yeah, it's not very active. It's mostly like, happy birthdays, congrats on the baby.

[B]

You know, there's like 40 of you now though, right?

[A]

I think there's like 20 something of us of the girls.

[B]

Oh, the girls.

[A]

The guy side too.

[B]

And is the group chat separate?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, we don't talk to the boys. Most of them end up sucking, so that's crazy.

[B]

And you went on Fboy island recently.

[A]

Yeah. Which Nikki was the host of.

[B]

Yeah. What was that like?

[A]

That was fun. It was a lot better than my Bachelor experience. There's money to be won and so on reality tv, when there's a prize, legally you cannot interfere.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And so you get to just exist as a contestant and do whatever the hell you want. And it's fun.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Whereas, like, the Bachelor, there's no prize, you know, except, I guess, me. But, like, they can, like, manipulate. They can be like, oh, you know, this guy's talking about this guy. And no, you can't see that guy. There's just a lot of, like, control that they have that then determines, like, what happens next. And so it's not fun because you're not. You're not in on the secret. You know, you're just like, who's knocking at my door and why are they leaving the show? Now, you know, that's funny.

[B]

Do you want to get more into acting?

[A]

You know, it's funny you asked that because someone asked me that, like, I think yesterday, and I was like, I would love to be on a Hallmark movie.

[B]

Really?

[A]

I think that's like the. The highest level I could go.

[B]

Hallmark.

[A]

Hallmark and reality TV kind of have a, like, similar vibe. Like, oh, we're making out in the rain. And like, oh, don't leave me for the farm. That's. I don't know, whatever. But it's just like, very, like, you know, light hearted.

[B]

Yeah. Now you're in LA too.

[A]

I know. So anyone from Hallmark listening?

[B]

Hit her up, guys.

[A]

Christmas is just around the corner.

[B]

Just came from San Diego. Why'd you leave Diego?

[A]

It's just a little slower paced. I love it. I love it there so much. But when you're, like, fresh in your career and you're in entertainment, whether that be comedy, acting, writing, like right now we're trying to sell a TV show. Everything is here in la.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I was doing the drive for a bit and I was like, what am I doing?

[B]

Yeah. How far is the drive?

[A]

Two and a half hours one way from San Diego to la. And I would do it same day, like round trip. One time I drove 2 1/2 hours just for a 15 minute spot here at the Improv.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And then just drove back home.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That is nuts.

[A]

I was like, what am I doing? So, yeah, so now I live close to all these comedy clubs and it just feels better to be here.

[B]

Yeah. How's the traffic, though?

[A]

Traffic's brutal. And, like, LA is so big, it feels like a state on its own. Like, there's so many, like, different neighborhoods. That's like. I get why people now in LA are like, I don't date someone outside of, like, my, like, neighborhood because it could take. It could take 40 minutes just to get to, like, five miles from where you're at, which is crazy.

[B]

That's annoying.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

In Vegas we don't get that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, well, here I'm complaining, and now I'm dating a guy in New York. I guess if he's worth it, you know?

[B]

Would you rather move to New York or make a move to you if you get to that point?

[A]

We've talked about it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, I tell him all the time, I'm like, I think you're going to win that argument. Because, like, I'm. I'm new to L. A. I don't have, like, roots here necessarily. You know, my whole family's in Washington still, and he's very, like, rooted in New York, and then his family's in Michigan. So it's like, okay, fine, like, when the time comes, you can win that. But also that because we're both in the comedy scene, there's a world of just being bicoastal, you know, and. And he's going to be traveling, doing, you know, shows, because that's his primary focus, comedy. I'm so new to it. It's just, like, one of many things that I'll tap into in the next five years, you know?

[B]

Wow. So you don't have trust issues. That's impressive.

[A]

I didn't say that. I don't have trust issues with him, though.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Still for two months in. That's. That's good.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

It's earlier than most.

[A]

Yeah, Well, I mean, I don't know. I'm 33 now, and so you go on so many dates, you have so many relationships. Like, you want to think, like, the older you get, the more you recognize exactly what you want and don't want.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know?

[B]

So is it true you feel a lot of pressure in your 30s?

[A]

I don't, because I'm indifferent on kids. But I think women who are, like, for sure, they want kids, for sure, feel that pressure, you know? But for me, I'm like, ah, I'll adopt.

[B]

Wow. So you made that choice early?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I think by the time I hit 30, like, I had to really reflect on that and I was like, you know, I grew up with a very unconventional family, so it's like, to me, it's not important. I like a. Sounds weird, say blood, baby. But, you know, like, even though I'm trying to say, like, for me, it's just like, love is love and, you know, there's so many kids that need to be adopted. Like, if I ever couldn't have kids, biologically, there's still a kid that could use a mom.

[B]

Nice. I love that. Well, what do you got coming up next? Any shows or any comedy things?

[A]

No, I mean, I just tell people to follow me on Instagram. That's where I'll announce stuff. If I'm ever performing in la, I'll like, announce it last minute. It's more for, like, practice, you know, get those reps and work on a joke or two. But no, right now my biggest focus is selling a TV show, so can't say much more about that. We have some pretty big meetings next month. That's like my primary focus.

[B]

Let's go. Well, we'll link your Instagram below. Thanks so much for coming on.

[A]

Yes, thanks for having me.

[B]

Thanks for watching, guys, as always. See you tomorrow.