How to Manifest Success Without Losing Your Soul | David Castañeda DSH #1061

Summary

Digital Social Hour - Episode #1061: How to Manifest Success Without Losing Your Soul

Release Date: January 5, 2025
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: David Castañeda

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Introduction

In episode #1061 of Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly welcomes actor and entrepreneur David Castañeda to discuss a transformative journey toward manifesting success without compromising one's authentic self. The conversation delves deep into personal growth, mental health, cultural identity, and the delicate balance between ambition and inner peace.

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Transitioning from Success

David begins by sharing his recent transition after playing a significant role in a high-profile show. He expresses uncertainty about his next steps, emphasizing that his focus isn't necessarily on the next big opportunity but rather on understanding what truly calls him.

David (02:11): "I need to figure out what is calling me, you know, because how big that show was was unexpected... I’m okay with it not happening again."

David discusses the pressure of chasing top rankings, drawing parallels with Will Smith's reflections on measuring success by box office numbers. He underscores the importance of recognizing that external validation, such as being number one, can lead to unnecessary stress and depression.

David (03:03): "Being number one, you know, it's not true because there's always going to be someone better than you."

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Age and Acting: Navigating Changing Roles

The conversation shifts to the challenges actors face as they age. David shares his experiences transitioning from teenage roles to more mature characters, highlighting the stigma associated with aging in the acting industry, especially for Asian actors.

David (04:26): "Age and acting, there has been a stigma within that, especially for women, which is even more."

He reflects on how societal expectations can limit opportunities and discusses the emotional impact of being typecast into specific roles, such as transitioning from playing college students to father figures.

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Cultural Identity and Overcoming Racism

Growing up in Mexico, David faced cultural and racial challenges both in Mexico and the United States. He recounts experiences of racism, feeling like an outsider, and the internal struggle to embrace his Asian heritage.

David (43:35): "I had shame with being Asian growing up... I was just so ashamed of the culture."

Overcoming these challenges led him to a deeper appreciation of his multicultural background, which now influences his approach to life and relationships.

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Embracing Mental Health and Personal Growth

A significant portion of the discussion centers around mental health. David opens up about his journey with therapy, shadow work, and embracing his "inner child." He emphasizes the importance of acknowledging one's struggles to achieve genuine personal growth.

David (16:37): "I think a lot of men struggle opening up about their emotions, right?"

He highlights how internalizing emotions can lead to physical ailments and stresses the necessity of open communication for emotional well-being.

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Psychedelics and Spiritual Journeys

David shares his experiences with psychedelics, including ayahuasca and mushrooms, detailing how these substances have facilitated profound personal insights and spiritual growth. He describes a particularly transformative 10-day ayahuasca retreat in Iquitos, Peru, where disconnecting from technology and confronting his fears led to a deeper understanding of himself.

David (13:14): "I was in Iquitos, Peru, and I did 10 days. No electricity, no phone... By day eight, I was like, oh, I can live without my phone now."

He discusses the concept of ego death and shadow work, advocating for a balanced approach to self-awareness that maintains a healthy sense of self while addressing hidden aspects of one's personality.

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The Role of Nature and Minimalism

David emphasizes the healing power of nature and advocates for minimalism in the digital age. He recounts his time in nature during his ayahuasca retreat and how it reconnected him with his ancestral roots and inner peace.

David (22:05): "I want them to be in nature and hopefully be loved by, you know."

He argues that excessive reliance on technology hampers memory, attention span, and genuine human connection, advocating for periods of digital detox to restore mental clarity and emotional balance.

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Relationships and Authentic Connections

The dialogue explores the importance of authentic relationships over superficial connections fostered by modern dating practices. David and Sean discuss the challenges of forming deep, meaningful relationships in a culture obsessed with instant gratification and constant connectivity.

David (55:11): "I love learning about the intricacies of every single culture now."

David shares his commitment to a long-term relationship, contrasting it with the fleeting nature of contemporary romantic interactions. He emphasizes the value of building relationships based on mutual understanding, acceptance, and spiritual connection.

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Overcoming Addiction and Embracing Choice

Discussing personal struggles with addiction, David underscores the power of choice in overcoming destructive habits. He distinguishes between genetic predispositions and environmental factors, highlighting how acknowledging and addressing one's challenges is crucial for long-term recovery.

David (38:11): "I try not to place too much emphasis on genetics... Environment, the way you grew up, and just your personal stuff."

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Final Insights: Living with Purpose and Letting Go of Control

In concluding the episode, David reflects on the realization that much of life is beyond one's control. Embracing this uncertainty has led him to a state of inner freedom and contentment.

David (37:34): "We have no control over what happens when we walk out... But to know that is so funny because we try so hard to control."

He urges listeners to focus on what they can influence—personal actions and choices—while accepting the unpredictability of life. This balance, according to David, is essential for manifesting true success without losing one's soul.

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Notable Quotes

• David (02:11): "I need to figure out what is calling me, you know, because how big that show was was unexpected... I’m okay with it not happening again."

• David (03:03): "Being number one, you know, it's not true because there's always going to be someone better than you."

• David (44:54): "No, no, what you just said was so spot on. It was like, I didn't even want to date an Asian girl. Like, I was just so ashamed of the culture."

• David (13:14): "I was in Iquitos, Peru, and I did 10 days. No electricity, no phone... By day eight, I was like, oh, I can live without my phone now."

• David (37:34): "We have no control over what happens when we walk out... But to know that is so funny because we try so hard to control."

---

Conclusion

David Castañeda’s candid and introspective conversation on Digital Social Hour offers listeners valuable insights into achieving success while maintaining personal integrity and emotional health. From navigating the complexities of cultural identity to embracing mental health practices and the transformative power of psychedelics, David emphasizes the importance of inner growth and authentic connections in the pursuit of a fulfilling life.

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For more episodes and insights, visit Digital Social Hour and follow Sean Kelly and David Castañeda on their respective social media platforms.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

I love nature.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should go to Iquitos. So when I did 10 days, every day felt like a year.

[B]

I bet. Yeah. No phone, no dude.

[A]

And then you're sitting in your tambo. A tambo is like a. Like a hut. But there was a hole in my thumbo and a bat came in.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Pitch black, dark. And I'm thinking, I can't believe I put myself in this situation. It took a while, but by day eight, I was like, oh, I can live without my phone now.

[B]

All right, guys, we got David on the show today. Thanks for coming on, man.

[A]

Thanks for having me.

[B]

Big change in your life right now as you're transitioning, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, I am transitioning.

[B]

Nice. Cuz you just played a major role and now the show's over. So you're looking for that next big thing.

[A]

Yeah, I don't even know if it needs to be big.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's more so just. I need to figure out what is calling me, you know, because what. How big that show was was unexpected and I. I'm okay with it not happening again.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Why you know, I have no control over that. That is completely a, it's a zeitgeist moment with that show. So if I try to match that again, I'll be severely depressed for the rest of my life.

[B]

That's really impressive that you have that mindset already because usually it takes people years to come to that.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I watched, I know Will Smith talked about this in a lot of interviews where he says that he wanted his movie to be number one, you know, and that was his way of, you know, sort of gauging success. And then eventually that becomes a, you're sort of biting at your own tail by that point. So I think that's sort of the, the message that I got from that. I was like, oh yeah, like, you know, I can already act and I'm making money off of that and that should be enough. And then what comes from that is extra interesting. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So you're not chasing that number one?

[A]

No, no, no, no. I mean it's, it'd be nice to be successful. It'd be nice to be liked and loved. And I think as humans that's what we want, we want to be accepted and, but being number one, you know, it's not true because there's always going to be someone better than you. There's always going to be someone and it's good to be chasing that. Like, oh, I want to be better, I want to be better. But to actually understand that like there is someone better than you is, is you. You know, it could be very depressing. You know, if you're really gauging your validation off of that, which a lot.

[B]

Of people do, I'd say they gauge it in money, they gauge it in views.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

External things, I think.

[A]

So I, I think that's sort of the, you know, especially when you're dealing with like social media and stuff, you have a lot of comparison.

[B]

Right. Especially as an actor, I bet.

[A]

Dude. I mean with age, it's so funny. Age and acting is, is, I think there's been a stigma within that especially I, I, I assume also for women, which is even more. But age and acting, it's so funny. Cuz I'll be, You know, when I was first auditioning, I was going in for like the teenage roles and the next thing you know, I was going for the college roles and now I have friends hitting me up is like, hey, do you know any good actors that can play college? And I'm like, oh shit. Like I'm not that, I'm not that anymore. I'm like, what am I? And they're like, now I'm getting auditions to be like, a father.

[B]

Dang.

[A]

Yeah, dude. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, oh, this is. I need to catch up with my mentality to be that. To be okay with that, because I think that sort of becomes. How old are you?

[B]

I'm 27.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. I thought you were younger. For some reason.

[B]

It's hard to tell with Asians.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[B]

Yeah, for sure.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What about you?

[A]

I'm 35.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm 35. But it is true. I mean, my. My great grand. My. My great grandfather's Chinese.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm half Chinese, half Chinese. So a lot of my. A lot of my cousins have. They look really good, and they also get really red when they drink.

[B]

I get red. It's an Asian thing. Yeah.

[A]

Do you take the. There's like a. A pill that they take.

[B]

I've tried it. Yeah, it works.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I don't drink too much, but when I do, I'll try to drink that. Or there's a patch. Yeah. We have this gene break. We. We can't process alcohol, so we're. We're technically allergic to alcohol.

[A]

Yeah, that's what my cousin was telling me. I was in. I was in Phoenix seeing them a few days ago, and she was like, I am allergic to alcohol.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, and a lot of people.

[B]

Are half of Asians, I believe. Just pretty crazy.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Wow.

[B]

Nuts. But you grew up in Mexico, though, right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. 7.

[B]

7 to 14 was acting big over there.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I mean, when you're in Mexico, man, like, you. Most of the time, what you're doing is you're playing imagination, because there's dirt, there's marbles. There is a lot of heat, you know, and there's not. And, you know, if you. You're. If you're lucky to have an ac, most of the time it's not on because it costs so much money to have the AC on. So you have to be outside.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You have to. Yeah. Like, when I was a kid, my mom would be like, all right, you know, just come back before the sun comes down. And that was my childhood in Mexico. If you love your phone but not your carrier, just switch to T Mobile. You can keep your phone, keep your number, and we'll help pay it off up to $800 per line. You can also use our savings calculator to compare our plans and streaming benefits against Verizon and AT&T. So switch and keep your phone, keep your number and keep more of your moolah. @t mobile.com up to 4 lines via virtual prepaid card. Allow 15 days qualifying unlock device, credit service port in 90 plus days with device and eligible carrier and timely redemption required card has no cash access and expires in six months.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Yeah. So you get to actually have an. Your imagination runs wild because there's nothing to do or to keep you entertained.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. Have you been to Mexico?

[B]

I've been to the touristy part, so I don't know if I count it.

[A]

Which one?

[B]

Cancun.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Riviera Maya.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And there was Ensenada. Ensenada was my favorite.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it wasn't as touristy. So when I travel, I like to actually experience the local culture.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So with Cancun and Riviera Maya, we were just in a resort. I don't really count that as Mexico because we're just cooped up. But Ensenada, I got off the cruise boat, I walked to the local, like, fisherman village, ate food there, talked with the locals. My fiance speaks Spanish, and that was really cool.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Did you go to Ishcare?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. Because that's. That's like Riviera Maya.

[B]

That's where you grew up?

[A]

No, I grew up in Sinaloa. Sinalo is like. It's North West.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. It. Honestly, Sinaloa looks like California.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, sort of. Obviously by the water. And it has the. Almost. Almost the exact same length between California and.

[B]

Oh. So it's pretty long.

[A]

It's. It's long. And, you know, some people like to. I don't know if some people, but call it the cartel state.

[B]

Oh. So it's pretty dangerous there, growing up.

[A]

It's not dangerous at all. Not for me, at least. But there is a lot of things that could happen. Only if you're in bad business, I would say.

[B]

Got it. Plus, you were a kid, so that you were probably protected.

[A]

Yeah. But, you know, when I was. I got out of there in 2004, and that's when things got really bad, because I remember, like, you know, going back to the US and just hearing stories about some classmates and their dads, like, turning up dead.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. And, you know, they were involved in a certain way, and I'm like, oh, like, this is real. Like, some of these people are. Yeah. In danger. Danger.

[B]

You got out the right time.

[A]

I did. I did. But I go back, you know.

[B]

Well, now you're probably a legend there.

[A]

I don't know if I'm a legend. No. But what I do. Go back, man. It's really fun. Yeah, there's a lot. Yeah, there's a lot of family. There's a lot of friends.

[B]

Is it still as bad or did it kind of.

[A]

No, the thing about Mexico, man, is, like, Mexico is a. Is a space where you have. If you're in bad business.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. Yeah. You're going to be put in a very dangerous position. But if you were like, you know, the only people that you hear get, you know, killed at a. At a random spot is wrong place, wrong time. And I think that happens in a lot of places in the world.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Now, I'm not one to speak about the Mexican politics because I'm. I haven't been really been informed about what's happening over there. But when I go, my parents. My parents go like twice a month. You know, they love going over there. We have a house.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

You know, we live in El Fuerte. I don't know if you've ever been to the north side or the west side of Mexico.

[B]

North side. I don't.

[A]

So Sonora, Sinaloa. Oh, you've been to Ensenada. So Ensenada is sort of the Baja California.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. I would recommend, if you go back to Riviera, Maya, go a little bit more towards. I mean, Tulum is nice.

[B]

Pricey, though.

[A]

Very pricey. That's where I went actually last time to do Ayahuasca.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Tulum. Yeah. Well, a little bit south of that. This place called Kumankaya.

[B]

It's called Nice. And how was that?

[A]

It's great. Yeah. I've been doing.

[B]

I've never done it, but it's. It's intriguing to me.

[A]

You ever done shrooms?

[B]

I've done shrooms.

[A]

How was that?

[B]

I've had both good and bad trips on shrooms.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But now I microdose them.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Yeah. I haven't had a full trip in quite some time, though.

[A]

Now, how do you distinguish a good trip from a bad trip?

[B]

So the. The one bad trip I had was because someone came over that I didn't know, and his energy just felt horrible.

[A]

Oh, dude.

[B]

And I just immediately, like, broke down. He was a drug dealer, actually.

[A]

You did? So was he dropping off the mushrooms for you?

[B]

No, he was like a weed or coke dealer or something. But he just pulled up to my friend's house and we were both tripping, my friend and I, and just his energy really was Just awful.

[A]

And what about a good trip?

[B]

Good trip was in Amsterdam, where it's legal. I walked into the place, bought an eighth of shrooms, ate it all, and walked for eight miles straight. Holy smile on my face.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. I didn't stop walking.

[A]

Wow. Yeah. I've had moments like that with shrooms where I've been so happy. And you're laughing with people telepathically.

[B]

Yup.

[A]

Like, you're just like. You know exactly the joke, and you're just laughing and it's like the fun. And like. Like one time I went to Pismo beach with a few buddies of mine. And we all did them right, except one buddy. Another one buddy of mine was just drinking 18. An 18 pack of beer. He's like, I don't want to do that shit. So we're all, you know, doing it, and, you know, we're like, having a good time. You know, we were camping and. And I'm looking at one of my friends, and he turns into an egg yolk. And it's the funniest thing, dude. I won't even say his name. Cause I don't put my blast. But he looked like an egg yolk. And next thing you know, we look and we see the water. It's. It's flowing over to us, you know, and we're like, yo, because we're by the. The ocean, and we start tripping out. I was like, yo, is. Are we gonna get flooded? So we wake up my buddy who was drinking the 18 pack. Cause he was so drunk, and he was like, hey, dude, should we move the car? Should we move everything? Cause we had set up the whole tent. He comes out, he's like, bro. He's like, no. He's like, chill out. And we're like, oh, okay, okay. But it was so fun doing that. I've had bad trips also.

[B]

Was it the people you were with?

[A]

No, no, no. Different people. Okay. But the same thing. Like, one of them turned into a demon.

[B]

Damn. Yeah.

[A]

He started laughing and he was like. And I was like, oh, you're not a friend anymore. Like, I immediately. I was like, oh, you're not a friend. But it does help you actually, like, really gauge people's energy 100. Yeah. I think ayahuasca does the same thing. But ayahuasca is more internal. Like, you don't do ayahuasca. Like, I'm not going to do ayahuasca with you and be talking to you. That's not a thing. It's like, very much like, hopefully you're guided with like a shaman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they. They talk you through it. They talk you through it. Yeah. I don't know if you. What do you know about ayahuasca?

[B]

I know sometimes you have an out of body experience. Some people report encounters, some people throw up. I've done a lot of research on it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. All those things have happened.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I've been doing that for like 10 years.

[B]

Whoa. So do you do it like every year or when it calls you? Or when it calls me. Okay.

[A]

But since 2015.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's been pleasant experiences every time.

[A]

Really Every time. But pleasant in a way of uncomfortable.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So back in 2021, I went to Iquitos, Peru, and I did 10 days. No electricity, no phone. It was. I was in a hut and the closest place to get cell service was like a three mile walk.

[B]

I would have gone crazy.

[A]

Oh, that's the thing. And that's the thing that teaches you. Right. It's like you get so uncomfortable that by the time you come out of it, you recondition yourself to actually be the person that you were always meant to be. So it doesn't change you. It just makes you more of what you really are.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah, it kind of. It sort of. It centers you. So then when you're looking at people, you're not looking at like preconditioned ideas of something, you're actually just looking at them.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so if you're just looking at them, sometimes it can make people feel uncomfortable because it's like, what are you thinking of me right now that you're looking at me? But that's not the case. Sometimes you. People just want to be seen. And so looking at them is. I feel a lost art with so much.

[B]

You just hold that eye contact. Yeah. That makes you uncomfortable.

[A]

It makes people. I mean, where I was, where I grew up in La Puente, and you know, you look at someone and the first thing, they're like, what's up, homie?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

They want to fight you. And it's like, oh, you have so much anger inside of you, you know? Or there's something inside of you that is afraid to be seen.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And that it's. You know, some people need it. I get it. You know, some people need it as a way of protecting themselves. But I don't know if I fully agree with that being the only way to be.

[B]

But did you have that growing up and some anger?

[A]

I don't know if I had anger. I definitely had a chip on My shoulder.

[B]

What was that from, you think?

[A]

I moved a lot. I was moving. I moved. We had. We. We lived in, like, 14 different houses before we went to Mexico.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. Just going from, like, aunt's house to another ant house. And then. So that's why my parents were like, this is not sustainable.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Like, we're living a rat race in the US let's go back to Mexico. So I went to Mexico, and so because I was always the new kid, I always wanted to insert myself. So there's a way of proving yourself within that. So, like, how do I. How do I gauge the situation? And what do people like? What's. What's relevant right now? And what can I learn to actually get myself implemented? Because no one sees you when you're first showing up out of. From. The only thing they see is, oh, you're a gringo. You know, you're a white boy. You stole our land. You. You see all these, you know, especially when you're seven years old and you're learning in history in Mexico that, like, you know, the Santa Ana Treaty where, like, the US Took a lot of the land from Mexico, and I'm coming in as an American, and they're like, oh, you stole our land. It's like, dude, my parents were born here. You know what I mean? So there is like a, you know, a chip to want to prove yourself that, you know, you can immerse yourself in this culture and vice versa. When I moved back to the U.S. it was the same thing, you know, but no, anger was not a thing. I think I had a very nice childhood with my parents. They. They really taught me to, you know, don't do unto others what you don't want to be done to yourself. And also, if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all nice. You know, those are things that were very much in my entire childhood. Yet I also know that that is a balance because if you go through the other side, then you can really withhold what you're really feeling. And sometimes that's not good either.

[B]

That's happened to me. Yeah.

[A]

Really.

[B]

I think a lot of men struggle opening up about their emotions, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. How do you deal with it now?

[B]

My fiance's been great because I had no one to talk to before, even my own parents. Growing up, I was getting bullied. I was so ashamed to even tell.

[A]

Them, really, you know, and so how did that. Like, how did that change once you start doing it? Did you start seeing good reactions from people?

[B]

Just, it Just felt like a weight lifted off my shoulder. I would say psychedelics helped too, actually.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, help me realize some stuff. But, yeah, when you internalize that stuff, it can manifest into physical diseases and ailments.

[A]

It does. Yeah. Cancer, insomnia. Like, I was speaking of, when you're opening up about. Like, I did a lot of therapy about this, so it's like, when you open up, when you're in constant connection, there's meant to be conflict. There's always meant to be conflict. Why. Why wouldn't we want to connect? Whoa. Because I'm gonna have conflict. But then you're. You're depriving yourself of the most important thing as a human right to actually be able to have a conversation, to see someone. So if I feel like you hurt me, if I can express it, hey, I feel hurt because of this, then hopefully the other person will understand that it's not personal. It is a. It is a very unique experience within my own perception of what happens and how I grew up in my entire life and how I was conditioned. That, hey, the way you move the cup like this, it really hurt me because actually it reminded me of my childhood. Reminded me of when something was taken away from me. And so it has helped a lot, growing up and doing therapy to understand that. Like, actually, I'm going to tell you that I'm hurt because I want to connect with you.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know, and deep. And that's better than just being like, oh, I'm afraid that you're going to run away from me. So I'm not going to tell you anything.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, as men, you know, that's what you.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think a lot of men are afraid to be judged. Afraid to be seen as soft.

[A]

Yeah. Look dumb. Or we have to uphold a certain way of being. And it's like. Well, yeah, there's certain aspects of it, but I think we're sort of walking blindly down an alley and just trying to touch the walls.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just trying to be like, oh, oh, this way, that way.

[B]

Anyway, keeping that creative is important, man. I remember being in school just, like, I was too scared to even ask questions to the teacher because. Cause I didn't want the classmates to see me getting judged or whatever.

[A]

Whoa. Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's scary, man.

[B]

I think a lot of school these days is killing creativity, man. Not intentionally, but just, like, I would.

[A]

Be interested in actually seeing what is happening with kids in school.

[B]

It's the same system it's been since we were there. It's just like History class and math.

[A]

But now with phones, right?

[B]

Oh, yeah. It must be even tougher, right?

[A]

Yeah. Cause I was talking to my nephew about this, and I was like, hey, how do you guys deal with AI? Like, how do teachers deal with this aspect of no knowing that you could just get an answer so fast? And it's like, oh, they guess there's programs that they block it, Right? I guess so, but. And also, kids are not allowed to have their phones in class. That's what I've heard. I don't. I don't know much, but I caught.

[B]

The tail end of that. Yeah. Because I'm a. I'm 27. Yeah. Some teachers would ban the phones.

[A]

Really?

[B]

In class. Do you think that's good or bad to ban them?

[A]

Yeah, I think it's great.

[B]

You think it's great?

[A]

Oh, my God, yes, dude. I mean, okay, so when we were kids, right, watching TV was like a thing. Like, don't get too close to the tv. I think our parents had some. I don't know if you had the same experience about, like, video games and things like that, where it's like, that thing is going to rot your mind.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And there's a certain extent where it does bring creativity and it makes you think really fast and agile on your feet. But there's another aspect where it just brainwashes you. It just. It does. I mean, if you're a kid. I remember being a kid in Mexico, and, like, if everyone liked this, then I'm going to like it. Right. I don't even know if I like it, but everyone likes it, and I want to be liked. Now, if you have a phone, whatever the phone's showing you in that moment, if there's no parental controls, like, it's going to want to make the kid, like, certain things that they don't even know what that is, you know? And I think that that's really important to, like, make sure. Like, when I have kids, I want to make sure that they don't have phones as. As long as I can hold on to that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, dude. Yeah. Yeah. I want them to be in nature.

[B]

I mean, that's how you grew up.

[A]

I want them to be in nature and hopefully be loved by, you know.

[B]

A family and nature's healing, man.

[A]

Dude.

[B]

Yeah. Nature's important, dude. I love nature.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You should go to Iquitos.

[B]

That's a lot of nature there.

[A]

Peru.

[B]

Oh, Peru.

[A]

You should go. You should.

[B]

I've heard about it, actually.

[A]

Dude, you go there for. So when I did 10 days, every day. Felt like a year.

[B]

I bet. Yeah. No phone, no dude.

[A]

And then you're sitting in your thumbo middle of the night.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

A thumbo is like a. Like a hut.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And it's literally all it is, is a piece of wood that covers the. From rain and you're covered with mosquito. What's it called? The thing that covers for mosquitoes. I forgot.

[B]

Is it like the traps or.

[A]

Yeah, sort of. But it. But it prevents mosquitoes from coming in.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But there was a hole in my thumbel and a bat came in.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

And so there was a bat flying around every night in my combo and pitch black, dark. And I'm thinking, I can't believe I put myself in this situation. By day eight. It took a while, but by day eight I was like, oh, I can live without my phone now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There comes a point where like, you just revert back to whatever our ancestors were feeling being in nature.

[B]

That's impressive, man. Yeah. I'm on my phone eight hours a day.

[A]

Eight hours a day.

[B]

Isn't that crazy? I am working, granted. Still, it's. It's a little concerning. Eight hours a day.

[A]

I'm. Dude, I'm. By no means I understand. Some people have their needs to have a phone, I mean, or to be on the phone constantly, you know, so people gotta eat, they gotta do those things.

[B]

Yeah. I do want to do a dopamine detox one of these days though.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Have you seen those?

[A]

No, it isn't.

[B]

You go in a dark cave, like pitch black, you're in there for three days and then you walk out. Apparently you're just like, reset.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, it's like a darkness retreat or something.

[A]

Where do you have those at?

[B]

I think they're in Arizona, actually.

[A]

If you do it, you have to tell me how that goes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Because you. So you're going in a pitch dark room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you. Are you fasting also?

[B]

I'd assume you are because you can't see. So. I'm a big fan of fasting.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I haven't done a three day one yet. The most I've done is two days. But I intermittent fast every day.

[A]

Yeah, it's what, 16? Eight?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You do that too?

[A]

Yeah, I did. I did five days one time.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Five days.

[B]

How did that feel?

[A]

I think by the fifth day, I didn't want to eat. You're serving that space. You're like, like, yeah, I don't want to break this. You know, there's Something really you start functioning differently. Like, I think I saw this in National Geographic. Chris Hemsworth was doing one and the brain fog. Right. Was. Is real. Like after a first few days. You did it for two days, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How did it feel after this? On the second day, I felt fine.

[B]

I could have kept going. The problem is I'm in a basketball league, so like when I play fasting, it's. It's really hard actually.

[A]

You're a baller?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah, I be hooping. You play?

[A]

Yeah, I play a little bit.

[B]

Okay, I'm gonna have to play.

[A]

Oh, dude. Yeah, yeah, I'm all right. I was in Montreal actually a few. A few weeks ago when I was shooting and I went to. One of the actors invited me to be like, hey, do you play basketball? And I was like, yeah, I play ball. She's like, come play with. With me and friends. I was like, okay, go to the basketball court. And she is like, oh, we're gonna go to a different basketball court. I was like, why? He's like, oh. Cause these aren't my friends. And I look to the people that are playing and they were really good. And I was like, oh, no, I want to play with these guys, you know. Okay. Got balled out. Yeah, there's a 15 year old kid there that was just like a little Kobe. It was so. And I'm like 35, like huffing. Huffing like good these days. Yeah, man, there's. I mean, you got the AAU leagues now? Yeah, they're being recruited. But anyway, so dopamine, huh?

[B]

Dopamine. Yeah. But I do want to do a three day fast because your body starts healing after 72 hours, can kill cancer cells, can completely reset your body. So you must have felt amazing. Five days.

[A]

Oh my God, I felt so good. Then like, try to do a 72 hour one. And I only lasted like about 60 hours.

[B]

A lot of it is mental, man.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's mental.

[B]

And for me it's a little harder. Cause I use my brain a lot and that actually uses a lot of calories. So I get hungry. Cause I'm a chess player and I podcast all day. I got seven episodes today.

[A]

Really?

[B]

And then.

[A]

Oh, so you play the chess outside?

[B]

I play on the app. That's just a decoration. Yeah, but I play an hour a day.

[A]

Really big chess player, seven podcasts and.

[B]

That'S seven hours of filming. So I'm using my brain. When you play chess, you burn a lot of calories.

[A]

And because you're doing so many Podcasts, man. I mean, the knowledge you're getting must be incredible.

[B]

It's immense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I'm learning a lot.

[A]

Do you get overwhelmed by it?

[B]

No. Human memory is pretty bad, actually, so I don't retain everything, but I try to take a little piece from every guest.

[A]

That's the thing about. Maybe I'm just like a. Maybe I'm sounding like a religious crazy nut, but I think the phone is, like, not allowing me to remember things now.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, it has been proven to shorten attention span.

[A]

It makes sense.

[B]

So I wouldn't be surprised if it affects memory as well.

[A]

Yeah. Because, like, I think about, like, you know, did. Did you ever go through a time where you knew a bunch of phone numbers?

[B]

Yes, when I was a kid. You had to memorize it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

My friends. Numbers.

[A]

Yeah. Or like, maps.

[B]

Yeah, my dad used to use maps. I was never using those, to be honest.

[A]

You didn't use maps?

[B]

Hard to use.

[A]

You didn't use map?

[B]

We did, but he would handle it, Lena. I would print it out for him and he would follow it.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I'm. I can't. I. What about phone numbers? Do you remember them now?

[B]

Hell, no. Just my moms and my fiance's. That's it. But when I was a kid, I could probably name at least five, so you better.

[A]

You better remember your fiance's.

[B]

Have to. You never know when you need it. Yeah. We made it a group effort. She knows mine, too, in case anything happens.

[A]

That's good.

[B]

And we got a secret phrase for if we're in trouble. It's a phrase that only me and her know.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. In case I get cloned.

[A]

Get the. Now I have to know. This secret phase, it's like. What's the phrase? Gibberish.

[B]

It's a whole sentence.

[A]

It's a whole sentence. It makes no sense because I get cloned.

[B]

Crazy times. We're in. I do want to do ayahuasca, man, if you.

[A]

I. I know some great places, man.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I know some great.

[B]

I'm a little scared, but I think I need. Need it.

[A]

I think the. The last time I went was six months ago, and I went to the peninsula, Yucatan, and I remember going and being like, man, I. Every time you go, you don't know where you're gonna find, like, you're not, you know, a lot of people going like, oh, I'm trying to find purpose and all these things. And you're great. You show up and you do ayahuasca, and you realize, ayahuasca Tells you completely different. They're like, actually, you don't need purpose, you need something else.

[B]

Really.

[A]

So, for example, back to back, right? So when I was in the peninsula, Yucatan, I was like, oh, I just. I've. I feel like I've gotten everything I want. What, what, what's next? And then I go in my first ceremony of ayahuasca, we do it. It starts at 7pm you take it, and it's pitch black. And the thing about ayahuasca is you. Like, for example, if you and I were doing ayahuasca right now, once it. Once it kicks in, we can have our eyes open and still talk.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, you can. I mean, you're feel a little woozy, but you can still, like, look, nothing changes with you, but if you close your eyes, you see everything. Everything. And so the reason they do it at 7pm Is that whenever you open your eyes, you're still seeing everything because it's pitch black.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So you can't run away from it. Whatever ayahuasca is showing you, if you do it at night, you can't run away from it.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And so. But if you're. During the day, you can run away because you're like, oh, it's too intense. Open my eyes.

[B]

That's good to know.

[A]

Yeah. And so when I was doing it, one of the first things that happened was I was like, I need to find. Tell me what I need to find. And my mice, whatever my consciousness was, just fell out of my body, right? And you fall into the ground, and you go deep into the ground, and then you realize that, like, oh, the stream of consciousness that lives in this earth is home. Like, this is all there is. That's it. You stop thinking about your friends, your family, your job. You're just in a space, like, think of like a womb, you know, like, oh, this is what. This is what happens when I die. But it's so frightening because you feel like you're not coming back to your body. You're like, I'm not coming back. And the craziest thing about all of that is that what it taught me, at least for me from a specific point, was we have no control of our lives. Really, we have no control. I mean, you have control of your actions like you're writing something down, but we have no control about what happens when we walk out. You know, you might die right now, you might die tomorrow. I might die later on today. I don't know. Right. But to know that is so funny because we try So I tried so hard to control my life, to be perfect, to be the best man, only to realize that, like, oh, actually I'm not. I'm not perfect. I'm not in control. And there's a freedom in that. You're like. So when I was in there in that, it was so scary. But then when I came out of it, I couldn't stop laughing. Really couldn't stop laughing. I was like, oh, because you, you get this pressure off of you, you know, I. I don't know. I mean, I feel like now, nowadays, when I was in my 20s, all I wanted to do was to change the world. I wanted to have meaning. I want my life to have purpose. I want all these things. And as you get older, you just like, I don't know, I don't know. I'm open, I'm curious, but I don't know.

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

Yeah. And so. And ayahuasca sort of is a big catalyst within that the transition.

[B]

Sounds like an ego death, right?

[A]

It can be. I mean, ego death to me, I think it's impossible.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, of course. Because a little bit of ego is okay because you need to survive, right? So, like, if you have a little bit of ego, you know, not to step in front of a car when it's moving because it identifies you as being alive. It's like, yo, you're alive. You care about your life, right? So don't, don't do that. It's an instinctual thing. So to have no ego is to be able to walk into the water and not come out and be like, I'm just gonna breathe in water and die.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

You know, so. But yeah, reducing the ego, or at least maintaining it to a point where it feels needed and loved and not shun away, then it's a really way of having a balance. It's like. You ever heard of shadow work?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. What do you know about it?

[B]

I just know it's a formal, like therapy, right?

[A]

It can be. Yeah, definitely. So, like, everything that you hate about yourself is your shadow. And the more you try to hide it from people, the bigger your shadow gets interesting. The bigger it gets. The more you try to hide that you like this and that, and you're embarrassed by it and you're ashamed by it, your shadow just gets bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger. But the moment you turn to your shadow and say, hey, I love you, I accept you, I'm here, I'm going to take charge, but I'm not going to forget you and Your shadow goes that, that quick. It can.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I mean, you got to go to therapy also, I assume. Right. But, but if you acknowledge, like, sir, I mean, we don't have to get into the details of this, but like, if there are things that you don't like about your life or yourself and you're walking around with that shame, don't turn your back on it. Don't. Don't look at. Look at it straight and accept it.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

You know, because in the end, it's. It's you as a 10 year old boy or, you know, as an infant.

[B]

Inner child.

[A]

Inner child. It's your inner child. Just saying. I. I don't know.

[B]

You know, I definitely had a big shadow growing up.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I've been working on it, but it's still, still there for sure. But really, it used to be huge.

[A]

What are you ashamed of?

[B]

My parents got divorced when I was young. Felt some guilt from that. My dad recently passed and I wish I was closer with him.

[A]

I'm sorry about that.

[B]

There's some shame there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then just like I. I pretended for so many years to be someone I wasn't growing up, so I was like, I wish I was more of myself now with podcasting, I'm just myself. It feels amazing.

[A]

How would you. What were you trying to show the world before?

[B]

I was trying to fit in.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I wasn't supposed to, you know, I was pretending to be. Trying to be popular, trying to fit in with different groups and just trying to be a manly man or whatever, you know.

[A]

Were you. Were you bullied or were you. Are you bully?

[B]

I. I was never the bully. I got bullied, but yeah, I got made fun of and stuff, for sure.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel you on that, man.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I had a big shadow.

[A]

I mean, I still.

[B]

Do you think you still do after all these journeys? Really?

[A]

Of course. I mean, it's just. It's there, you know, it's there and the more you fight it, you know, the more angry it gets, you know, the more. Yeah, you just have to. I know the reason why I say that it's there and is because I acknowledge it. It's like, look, it's, you know.

[B]

Well, that's the first step for people, right. To at least acknowledge what's going on.

[A]

100.

[B]

Some people don't even get there.

[A]

No, I mean, maybe. I mean, I don't know. I mean, when I talk to. When I talk to people about, like doing plant medicine, the people that I know need it are the ones that say, I don't need it.

[B]

They're closed off, right?

[A]

Yeah. When they're like, no, I don't need that. And I'm like, oh, interesting. But also, that's my own perception.

[B]

Like, could be.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. That's all. That's me telling myself that whenever I don't want to do something, I need to do it, you know? Because like you were saying. Right. Like, this is the reason why you got into this.

[B]

Yeah. Off camera, right before we started, we were saying growth is when you're uncomfortable. That's when the most growth is.

[A]

Yeah. You got to be on your edge. You can't be too further on the edge because you don't learn anything. Right. But you have to be right on the edge where, like, you just don't know if you're going to make it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're just like. And so that's what I love about that, you know?

[B]

I love it.

[A]

Yeah, man.

[B]

You said no control earlier. That fascinated me. So, like, when you say that, because, like, I think I live a pretty healthy life. Like, I eat pretty healthy. Is that a form of control? You think, though, that I'm choosing to eat healthier?

[A]

Yeah. I mean, but that is. That's a choice, right? You're choosing. So that's the. That's what's lovely about us as humans is like, we get to choose what we do. What others do to us. We have no control.

[B]

We have others do to us.

[A]

Yeah. What the world does, we have no control over.

[B]

But don't you think you can influence your parents to treat you or talk to you differently?

[A]

Of course, but that's a choice. So you're choosing. But through the ability to communicate, to tell your parents, hey, this is what I need from you. Now, they can choose to give it to you, and they can also choose to not give it to you, and you have no control over that.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

That's the thing. It's like now. Now you're getting into a space where, like, oh, yeah. So you stop taking things personal because you're like, oh, you're late. You're. You're running into my time. Oh, you don't appreciate my time. Oh. And then it's like, me, me, me, me, me. But only to realize, like, actually, well, we don't really know what that person went through to get to this, to this moment and why they relate. Maybe it was something else that had nothing to do with you and to remove that. Then I realized, like, oh, I don't. I can't con. I can't convince you to be early. Now you. That's your choice. I can tell you. Hey, I'd like you to be early. But their choice is independent to their own ideas.

[B]

Wow, that's awesome.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love the way you think.

[A]

Thanks, man.

[B]

Yeah, that's super cool.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. So it. And so that's why going back to, like, the number one movie and the number one TV show and all these things, no control over that.

[B]

That's a never ending road too.

[A]

No, no, no, no. I mean, I was shooting in Montreal, right. And I was there by myself and I was walking down the streets. I like to do that when I'm shooting. I just like to walk around and just get lost and just kind of ponder on my own thoughts and. And I realized, like, oh, I see why, if I had a vice, how easy it would be to jump into it. It's just easy. Like when you have an addiction or, you know, some. A gene that's been passed down from family member to family member.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And when you're alone, those are the moments that you have to rely on the choice. You're like, oh, I choose to not do this or do that. And obviously, you know, that's not to say that people that have addiction aren't sane, because obviously it's a. It's a disease. But to those who are sort of teetering with the idea of something to choose within oneself is the best way to honor yourself. So if I choose to say, okay, I'm gonna do this part for this film, what comes after that is nothing personal and it's not correlated to me. And so I can enjoy the process of doing a job.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

A lot of people in the public spotlight struggle with addiction. Right. That's a common thing.

[A]

Yeah. I wonder why.

[B]

Yeah, There has to be something there. I think expectations are high. Right. When you have that Persona, trying to chase the next thing, and then when that doesn't happen, they kind of resort to addiction of whatever it is.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a gene, right?

[B]

Addiction. Yeah. It's probably some genetics. I try not to place too much emphasis on genetics. I've had on a lot of health experts, and they're saying. A lot of them are saying it's about 20 in the equation.

[A]

What's the other 80?

[B]

Environment, the way you grew up, and just your personal stuff, I guess. So I try not to, like, make excuses, even though obviously genetics plays a role. I have the Alzheimer's gene from my parents, but I try not to think about it because then you're going to manifest it. So like, I got friends that have like the cancer gene from their parents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But they're thinking all day about, oh, I might get cancer.

[A]

And so you sort of manifest it, don't you?

[B]

And I'm big on that. I'm big on manifestation.

[A]

Yeah, man. I mean, me too. I mean, I'm big on prayer too, even though I'm not very religious. But it's, it's, it's a way to sort of communicate with something that it's faith. That's interesting to have faith in something because.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I got vivid memories of me praying as a kid when I used to go to church.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

When I had like a stomachache, I'd be like, please God, make this go away. It's something I stopped doing. But dude, it's so funny you talk.

[A]

About praying because I remember my, my aunt was telling me this story yesterday. Actually, I was. We were in Pico, Pico Rivera in California and I was maybe 4 years old and we were at a park.

[B]

You got good memories.

[A]

Yeah, well, I remember this because I've heard it so many times. But also I do remember this moment. I was four years old, we were at a park, we're all hanging out, all my cousins, it's probably like 10 of us. And we, they, we all hop in, in the car. Well, they all hop in and they leave me, they forget about me. My uncle's driving on the freeway and they were like, yo, where's Junior at? And my family calls Junior, they call me Junior. Like, where's Junior at? And they turn around and they're like, oh shit, he's on the car. So they had to, you know, turn back on the freeway. They get back and I'm at the park, four years old, leaning against a tree with my arms like this, on my knees, praying.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

As a 4 year old, I'm praying and I'm. And to hear that story, I was like, wow. Like there's something about even childhood that I'm like, we believe that there's something else out there. Spirituality, God, dreams. As a kid, you don't. Sometimes you don't know the difference.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You're just like, oh, yeah.

[B]

So that was the first time you ever prayed that moment?

[A]

I don't remember if that was the first time I ever prayed, but I just remember that in a moment of fear, I turned to a God.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. In a moment as a four year old, I turned to God.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Yeah. I was like, oh, this is fascinating. And that's not the first time that's happened where I'm, like, praying.

[B]

That is interesting.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I do think there's, like, previous lives. I don't know if you believe in this concept, but, like, you know, we've lived previous lives, and there's some generational trauma and some generational memories and stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Do you believe in old souls and.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Do you?

[A]

Yeah, I do. Well, that's the thing that I heard, and I had to study it because. Well, not study, but just inform myself more because that's the thing that I would hear from people when I was like, 15, 16 is like, oh, you're an old soul. And I was like, huh, okay. And obviously as a kid, you hear that, you think you're freaking cool. Yeah, I'm an old soul. But it was like, what does that even mean? Right. But I think you have a good point of, like, you sort of have to fix things here in this body now that you couldn't fix in the previous one, whatever that is. I like the generational stuff.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Talking about.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

In which. But also there's, like, a lot of generational trauma, I think, in just lineages from, like, our. The men in our family. I think for sure that we have to fix, you know, like, things that we were missing or that my dad was missing or that my great grand. My grandfather was missing that I'm like, oh, yeah, my dad fixed that. And now, oh, now I have to fix something that my dad missed. And I'm like, oh, okay, great. Because then obviously, when I have a kid, they're probably going to have to fix something that they see in me. They're like, oh, you know.

[B]

Agreed.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I think that's so spot on. I saw with my dad, he got physically abused by his dad. That probably happened to him. So now I'm going to end that cycle with my kids.

[A]

Wow. That's. I mean, my dad. My dad didn't have a dad. And so it was really exciting to see him want to be a dad, because his dad was never really there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, at a certain. I think he. I mean, he must have been like 4 or 5 years old. And so watching him be so present with my sisters and I is something that I will forever be grateful because, you know, he. He could have just followed the same repetitive thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what I mean? But he was like, oh, I'm going to. I'm going to be there.

[B]

That's beautiful.

[A]

Yeah. And he would always say, I'm your best friend, remember? That.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. He's like, I'm your best friend. My best friend.

[B]

That's awesome, dude.

[A]

I know.

[B]

That's so cool that you have that relationship with your father. Not a lot of fathers have that friendship with their kids.

[A]

Yeah, man. You know, and. And I'm, you know, I'm sorry to hear about your dad.

[B]

Oh, thank you. Yeah. A big lesson. A lot of lessons learned from my parents.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. Whether they meant to or not.

[A]

How's your mom?

[B]

Good. We. We did not get along growing up, dude. To be honest. Yeah. But now we do. She watches every single episode.

[A]

Oh, good.

[B]

Yeah, she's my biggest supporter now.

[A]

Was there, was there a breakthrough within that? Like, sort of. Was it you opening up?

[B]

I think when I left the house and we both had time to reflect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, because it's hard to, like, in the moment, like, zoom out, you know?

[A]

How old were you when you left the house?

[B]

I was in college, So I was 18, 19.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[B]

So then we were both on our own and had some time to actually, like, feel what's going on and miss each other. Actually miss each other. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I think that's the thing. I mean, in the Mexican household, you stay there until you're, you know, 20, 30, you know, so.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I didn't move out of my parents house. I was 26. But I did have my rebel stages around 24, 25, 26. I barely stayed there. I had friends in LA and I would stay with them. But there was this thing that once I left at 26, and by the time I was like 29, it sort of mended all my dynamics with my family.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, it did. Because even you talk about this thing of, like, being able to separate and really process things, being alone, you know, because my sisters didn't really get to know me until, like. Really? No, because even my mom would come up to me, she'd be like, you need to tell your sisters who you are.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. She's like, they don't know you.

[B]

What? They don't know you didn't grow up with them.

[A]

I did. That was. That's what's crazy. You live in the same household, you know, And I'm sure they knew me because they saw me, but in terms of what I felt then, it's like, they need to know. And I remember my mom saying that. I'm like, wait, no, they do know. And they're like, no, they don't. Now they do.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

But that took a lot of time, you know, I'll Go into this very briefly, but it almost feels like, you know, you grew up with your parents or, you know, guardians or loved ones or whoever, and then eventually all you want to do is become an individual and a breakout. Like, I want to get out. I want to be my own person, and I want to forget about all of these things that raised me, because none of these are right. This is the new way. And then you somehow circle back to that way of being, but in the healthier way. You're like, oh, wow. Yeah. Actually, I am very proud of my heritage. I am very proud of the way I was raised. I am very proud of all of these things that at first, I wanted to get away from.

[B]

100.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I had shame with being Asian growing up.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What part of. What part of Asia?

[B]

China. Oh, yeah. But I was ashamed of it.

[A]

Why? With too many white kids.

[B]

I don't know, man. Yeah, but no, what you just said was so spot on. It was like, I didn't even want to date an Asian girl. Like, I was just so ashamed of the culture. Like, whoa.

[A]

Really? What. What was. What changed then?

[B]

I think. I don't know. It wasn't, like, a specific thing, but now I just embrace every culture. Like, I love culture. It's a big part of my life. I eat every cuisine.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm. There's no shame with it. I love learning about the intricacies of every single culture now.

[A]

And your job must be one of those jobs where it debunks any sort of preconceived notion of anyone.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. Because you're literally face to face with someone, talking to them all the time. Right. Rather than, like, having a conversation. Because I think even texting, right. Texting in its own self. Like, you read the text based on the day you're having.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You can have a great day and you read like, oh. And it could be like a passive aggressive text and you'd be like, cool, good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But if you're having a shit day and you read it, you're like. And so. But when you're face to face, it's just like, 100%. Oh.

[B]

Can't run away with it on podcasts for an hour.

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. No. But I think it was a lot of racism growing up, so that probably played a role. You know, kids were racist to me. Ching chong, whatever. Like, eating dogs, all the typical Asian stuff, you know? So as a kid, you're very impressionable, and that stuff gets to you.

[A]

Fucking pricks. Yeah, it was funny. Dude. Is like, when I moved to the. When I moved from Mexico to the U.S. my school was 98% Latino.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And I was the wet bag. They were like, oh. And I'm like, same thing. When I went to the. To Mexico. Right. It's like, we are literally the same color.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We're literally the same people. The same. I speak English. What are you talking about?

[B]

Yeah. So.

[A]

Yeah. But kids, you know, as you're saying, they're so impressionable.

[B]

Yeah. They want to be the top dog or whatever.

[A]

They want to impress.

[B]

Impress the ladies.

[A]

Yeah. Well, you played basketball in high school.

[B]

I didn't actually. I was just not aggressive because my parents got divorced, so, like, not having that father figure, I lacked a lot of confidence growing up, honestly, so that was a big part of it. And basketball, you kind of need to have confidence and be aggressive.

[A]

So.

[B]

I was a runner.

[A]

Oh, you're a runner? Yeah, track and field.

[B]

Track and field?

[A]

Really? What'd you run?

[B]

800 mile, 2 mile, 5k.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Good.

[B]

I was pretty good. Yeah.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

You run, too?

[A]

I was a shot putter.

[B]

Oh, nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You were muscular.

[A]

I was. I was. I was. I was hefty.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

I played football, so I was like, a little.

[B]

Yeah, you were a cool kid then. You were on the football team.

[A]

I only. It's not that I was a cool kid is like, I had to adapt.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, like, I, I. I joined all the sports I had to. Like, I had no friends. Like, my cousin convinced my mom. My cousin, who's two years older than me, convinced my mom for me to move from because I had already started one high school. Cause I'm from Mexico. I was like, oh, come. Come to this high school with me. You know, I'll. I'll take care of him, Thea. I'll take care of him. I go to that high school, they move me. I had made, like, two or three friends at this school, so now I moved to a different school. The first day I'm to that school, I go to my cousin, and my cousin's like a junior. I'm a freshman.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm like, hey. And my cousin looks at me and he goes. And he just keeps walking. And I'm like, this son of a bitch. So then, Yeah, I was like. So then I knew no one. So I was like, okay, what's going on? They're like, oh, football tryouts. Okay, I'll join football. Oh, basketball tryouts. I'll try basketball.

[B]

So you never played, huh? You never played those sports and you just tried out?

[A]

I Didn't know what football was. I was like, okay, they're doing weights and like, they're all like, oh, all agro. And I was like, yeah, I'll try this. And so then I went to that. I did basketball, I did track and field, I did swimming.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah. Cuz, you know, I needed friends.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

I know.

[B]

So you were just athletic, luckily, so you could get in all those teams.

[A]

Dude, I was not athletic.

[B]

Oh, you weren't.

[A]

I was just. I was a great mimicker.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I was. It was an actor, you know, I just knew how to act nice, tough.

[B]

So you think acting's kind of natural talent or.

[A]

I think we. I think we all have it. But the difference is, can you relax in it?

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

You know, can you relax in it? Like, for example, at the beginning of this podcast, I was very nervous.

[B]

Really?

[A]

It was very tight. Yeah, of course.

[B]

Oh, I didn't notice.

[A]

That's called acting. But. But as you get. As you. As you get warmed up and you relax now, you get into the details and the intricacies of conversation. And so, yeah, I think. I think we all connect, but some people just tense up.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I don't know what to say. But if you relax to it, you can actually show your personality a little bit.

[B]

That was definitely me. I would tense up, have anxiety attacks, panic attacks.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

Yeah. I've come a long way.

[A]

Do you do breath work?

[B]

I do.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Wim Hof.

[A]

Yeah. Wim Hof.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

Sometimes I'll do breath work. Middle of conversation, people really pissed off. Yeah.

[B]

Whoa. Just to calm down.

[A]

Just. No, just. Just to remind myself to breathe.

[B]

Nice. Yeah. Breath is important. Yeah. One little breath like that can shift your whole mindset. It's crazy.

[A]

I had a great mentor, and he said the difference between fear and excitement is a breath.

[B]

Fear and excitement. Wow.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like two extremes.

[A]

Two extremes. And it's all. It is the breath.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

Just remember to bring.

[B]

You have to do that during the ayahuasca.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The breath works.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Yeah. You have to do it. I mean, we do it all the time. We just forget.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It's like, oh, I've been. It's like when you're driving on the highway and you just forget that you driving for an hour.

[B]

I've been noticing that lately with my driving. Yeah. I'm like, damn, I've just zoned out for 30 minutes. That's a form of meditation.

[A]

Yeah. I wonder if. I wonder what's in your mind when that happens.

[B]

It's different stuff. I try not to think about the past too often anymore. I used to live in the past. And that's dangerous.

[A]

That's dangerous.

[B]

Super dangerous.

[A]

Lot of regret.

[B]

A lot of regret.

[A]

A lot of regret.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you can't live in the past.

[A]

What about the future?

[B]

That's what I'm trying to figure out. Because I. I try to stay present as much as possible, but I think it's important to think about the future too.

[A]

Yeah, a little bit.

[B]

A little bit, right?

[A]

A little bit. I mean, use it as a tool.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's the thing. We have to use it as a tool. Because, like, regret is the past. Anxieties in the future.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's like both of those things suck.

[B]

I know. That's why I try not to think about the future too much.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because then you start getting anxiety.

[A]

It's like, damn, man. Like, I'll think about. Sometimes I'd be like, marriage and kids and all these things, and I'm like, oh, I'm getting anxious. I was like, why am I getting anxious? Off of love?

[B]

Right.

[A]

Or the idea of that. It's like, oh, no, it's because I like to have kids before my parents die. I'd like to see my parents see me get married. Just random shit.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I'm like, why am I even putting myself so much stress on that instead of, as you said, being present?

[B]

And I see that with a lot of women because they're on a clock, you know, to have kids, and they rush these marriages and relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they got anxiety about it.

[A]

I know. Are you feeling pressure to get married?

[B]

No, I'm at a perfect pace. I've been with Ariel for seven years. We're getting married next year.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And I've already talked about kids around 30, so.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah. No, no pressure.

[A]

You getting married in here or.

[B]

We met in Jersey.

[A]

Oh, you from Jersey?

[B]

New Jersey, yeah.

[A]

Okay. And that's. That's where the wedding's gonna.

[B]

Garden State. Yeah. You've been out there?

[A]

I've been to. Yeah, I've been to. I mean, I've been in New York and I've been to Jersey, but I don't know Jersey as much as I think I've. I should.

[B]

Okay. It's called the Garden State. Check it out.

[A]

Garden State.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a movie called.

[B]

You like nature? Yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot of good nature there.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[B]

But, yeah, man, I'm. I'm pumped. But I see it every day with people. They're stressing about relationships.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[A]

It's. I mean, especially because you have so much immediate contact. Like, what happened? Remember when people. I mean, I don't know if you remember, but when you would read about these, like, letters that were sent, and it would take two weeks for a lover to get a letter.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Right. And you're like, the breath within that now. You can get it in 30 seconds.

[B]

Yeah. Super quick.

[A]

And the accessibility of that is crazy.

[B]

It's almost too easy now.

[A]

It's too easy.

[B]

Got these dating apps, and there's no.

[A]

Way to actually really ferment or build a dynamic with someone, because the moment they feel, oh, you're not right for me, you move forward, you move past. I mean, I assume or I imagine with you and your fiance, like, there's a moment in your dynamic where you sort of go, I'm not moving from here. I'm done. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know. How long did it take for you to sort of have that realization of, like.

[B]

Yeah, I think sooner than most, but I know what you mean. Where it's like, this is for life. Yeah. That moment. I would say a couple years.

[A]

And that's beautiful. You know, And I think. I wish people would. Would have the patience to get to that point.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because it's like, excuse me. You know, it's like, oh, we're not Uber eats.

[B]

Yeah. I got friends with more relationships. Thank you. The count on their hands. It's crazy to me, you know, but that's a normal thing in the city culture these days, especially LA and Miami, just hopping on to the next thing.

[A]

I've been on to the next thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Got to go to Mexico.

[B]

Yeah. How's the dating out there?

[A]

I remember growing up in Mexico that you could be someone's girlfriend or boyfriend and not have to kiss.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah. Like, it would be. It was. It was even more normal to be like, I like you. Do you? My girlfriend. They'd be like, yeah, okay. And you haven't you. Barely holding hands.

[B]

Really? That's interesting.

[A]

It was a very. It was a very reversal thing. So then when you come here and, like, women are grinding on it, you're like, yo. Like. And if you go to Mexico, I mean, I'm sure there's areas that's different, but when I grew up in Mexico, everyone danced in a circle, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you go to LA or La Puente, where I was, and you go to a party, and the girls are just, like, backing it up on dudes, and I'm like, that's. I'M so ashamed. And also I'm. I don't feel capable of impressing a woman if she backs up on me.

[B]

Hell no.

[A]

I'm 14 years old. Like, stay away, please.

[B]

Yeah, that's a turn off for me.

[A]

Really?

[B]

If a woman were to do that to me, I'd be turned off.

[A]

Good. I mean, your fiance would like that a lot.

[B]

Yeah, well, no, even like before that. Cuz that happened to me before I started dating her and I would just like, you know. Yeah, I'm about that spiritual connection with my woman.

[A]

Yeah, me too, man.

[B]

Yeah, that comes first.

[A]

The intimacy. You want to be with your best friend.

[B]

Yeah, 100%.

[A]

Yeah. That's the beauty of it. Like being with someone who fully sees you, fully accepts you, no matter how good or bad you can be, as long as you obviously don't hurt them.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Physically.

[B]

Yeah. Soulmate.

[A]

Yeah, a soulmate, man.

[B]

Yeah. Big on that, dude. Well, man, it's been fun. I can't wait to do ayahuasca with you one day.

[A]

Dude, seriously, I. Let me. I have your number.

[B]

Yeah, we'll talk, dude. Anything else you want to close off with here?

[A]

No. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Thanks for coming on, man. I can't wait to see your acting journey as well play out.

[A]

Thanks, brother. Appreciate it.

[B]

I'll be watching. Thanks for watching, guys. Check out his Instagram below in the description and I'll see you next time.

[A]

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