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Digital Social Hour
Kim Anami: The Hidden Energy Source Inside Your Body (That No One Talks About) | DSH #1559
00:53:14
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- [00:01]
A
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B
Experian. You can cultivate your sexual energy on your own as a solo person, but in a couple, you amplify that tenfold. And so if you're not making babies with it, you can learn to consciously tap into it, redirect it, which is what I think it was meant to be the ultimate free energy source. But most people have quite unconscious experiences of sex where they're racing to the finish line. I think the ultimate goal is just that release of orgasm. When I would say the ultimate goal is harvesting that energy, learning how to channel it in our lives. So, yes, pleasure is a great goal, and I'd say have even more pleasure by embarking on these practices. But my ultimate barometric question is, does sex leave you feeling energized, rejuvenated, transformed, euphoric, and like you changed your life? And if not, then you're doing it wrong.
- [01:24]
A
Okay, guys, got Kim here. Vaginal kung fu master and intimacy and relationship coach. Over 30 years of expertise in this space. Thanks for coming on.
- [01:32]
B
My pleasure. It's great to be here.
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A
Yeah. What you teach is not really in the mainstream. It's very interesting stuff.
- [01:38]
B
Well, I hope to make it more and more mainstream. I've had some things cross over into the mainstream, like the vaginal weightlifting had its huge viral moment over 10 years ago. I had this campaign, hashtag, things I lift with my vagina, that features me traveling all over the world lifting objects indigenous to various regions with my vagina. So in Indonesia, I was lifting coconuts and pineapples and bunches of mangoes, and in Italy, lifted a chandelier.
- [02:08]
A
Wow.
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B
I went to the Berlin Wall and lifted pieces of the Berlin Wall because you can buy them in souvenir stores, and then renamed it the great wall of vagina.
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A
Oh, my God. And what was the idea for that? Why do you think it's important for women to do that?
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B
Well, pelvic floor strength is essential for men and women. In women, it leads like a weak pelvic floor leads to urinary incontinence. Lack of lubrication, lack of sensation, difficulty to orgasm. And so it supports all of your internal organs. And even having a strong pelvic floor creates a lift in the entire body that is even meant to help support a face facelift, a natural facelift, no more Botox. And overall increase the sensation, pleasure, orgasmic potential. And of course you can shoot ping pong balls with your vagina, which I assert is the normal healthy baseline for all vaginas, not just a special skill to see in Thai sex clubs. But that's the norm. Right? Having a weak and functionless and non pleasurable vagina has become normalized, but that's not normal, right? Being multi orgasmic, shooting ejaculate across the room, shooting ping pong balls is normal. That's what all vaginas are meant to be able to do.
- [03:25]
A
So all vaginas are meant to be able to shoot ping pong balls.
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B
That's right, absolutely.
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A
Wow. Multi orgasmic. So there's different ways.
- [03:34]
B
Yeah, I mean I'm really big on the idea of internal vaginal orgasms for women as being the deepest, most life changing, transcendent orgasms there are. And, and my view, what I say is that every woman can, so this is my anomaly guarantee that every woman can have G spot orgasms, ejaculate that hits the ceiling, cervical orgasms multiple times in a session. And in fact for a woman to be well fucked, she needs to have these kinds of orgasms on the regular. This is essential good fuck medicine for all women. Dr. Kim says so and so I give the best sexual prescription options ever. And so this is nourishing, rejuvenating, life giving, self actualizing medicine. Yes, it feels good and you rev up all these incredible neurotransmitters and hormones. But there's also this full rebirthing, self realizing potential with these kinds of orgasms. So I'd say that they're, it's the missing link in people's bodies, in their psyches and their overall health that most people never think to look at.
- [04:42]
A
Squirting and hitting the ceiling you said?
- [04:44]
B
Yeah, just all in a day's work. You've done that? Yes.
- [04:48]
A
Oh my Gosh, it's like 30ft.
- [04:51]
B
Well, I guess maybe not really high European style feelings, maybe smaller American style.
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A
Still impressive though. Yeah, very impressive, yeah.
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B
Having a strong vagina, that's what you're able to do then is eject at that capacity.
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A
Because a lot of women say they.
- [05:07]
B
Can'T squirt, they think they can't. Right. So this is one of the big misnomers that out that's out there is this misinformation where people will say, look, some women can, some women can't. If you're one of those women who can't, don't you worry about it, it's okay. And I would say that those people have just never actually had these kinds of experiences themselves. And so my guarantee is that every woman can, and if she hasn't yet, it's that there's something blocking that. Either she's simply bought into the belief that, oh, I'm just one of those women who can't. So she gives up because she tries and it doesn't work. So she thinks she just accepts that reality or pseudo reality, or she's got some kind of blockages, like, let's say, unresolved sexual trauma within her system or just buying into these cultural beliefs about sexuality that then become internalized oppression. And all of those things can hold somebody back from realizing this kind of potential. So what I've seen over the decades of doing, doing this work is that when you remove those blockages, then if you build it, they will come, right? That all of these things are available to both women and men. When you do this deeper inner work.
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A
That makes sense. Do you think there's another reason for causing blockages?
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B
Yeah, I'd say it's one of them. It creates a distortion in people's sexuality and a dissociation because if you are, and like, it's not a moral judgment so much as what's the best use of my energy. Right. Like, if most people are using it as a quick fix and a hit, they're getting this major dopamine depletion, but they're dissociating. They're leaving their body and their reality and entering into another one. And so my encouraging, my encouragement is that people really tune into their own bodies, their own breath, their own internal landscape and geography of their own body. Even though at first it might seem like a little bit of work to do it because you're not getting that immediate, immediate quick hit that you get from porn. But the long term benefits are much deeper.
- [07:07]
A
Right. So you think more men should be doing semen retention?
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B
Yeah, I'm a big fan of semen retention or at least conscious sexual recirculation of energy. Right. And then to me, the ultimate best of all possible worlds is orgasm without ejaculation. Right. So you can still have all the pleasure and even more pleasure. You know, men describe it as a hundredfold more pleasurable than just a Regular orgasm. But you're not losing these vital fluids that you know, cultures over the millennia have said are really detrimental to just keep spewing out. Right. If every ejaculation can create a new life and men are just dumping it out willy nilly, haha like then they're depleting themselves. And that's why men tend to pass out literally after they ejaculate. Because it takes a lot of energy for the body to create such a magical life giving mixture. Right. And so by practicing orgasm without ejaculation. And the same thing applies. The anomaly guarantee every man can. Right. It may take some discipline and willpower to get there, but the end results are even better because you're keeping all of this energy and recirculating it for yourself and your partner.
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A
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B
Wow.
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A
So you could train guys to do that?
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B
Absolutely. Yeah.
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A
It's impressive.
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B
Yeah.
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A
I feel like that's hard to pull off.
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B
Well, I think the hardest part is just convincing men that it's worth it because they, they can feel like you're trying to take away their orgasm, but you're not really. There might be a training period of having to be very deliberate about your process, self pleasuring or having sex. But it's very, it can happen very quickly. Right. And then once you have that experience of an orgasm without ejaculation and then you feel like you want to go to the gym after having sex or run a marathon instead of passing out. And one guy actually came to my work, he's an ultra marathoner and he heard me say, look, after having sex as a man you ought to feel like you can run a marathon. And he's like, oh, I'd like to run one before and after. So let me add this. And so he improved his marathon performances after practicing this because he was retaining this energy and then channeling it into his athleticism.
- [09:47]
A
Wow. So you could channel that sexual energy into productivity and other aspects of your life.
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B
Yeah. And that's One of the things I'm most passionate about sharing with people is sexual energy is life force energy. It's the energy that creates new life. And so if you're not making babies with it, you can learn to consciously tap into it, redirect it, which is what I think it was meant to be the ultimate free energy source. And then use that for your creative projects, whether that's your work or your business, your family, like everything in your life, you can channel this energy into your athleticism.
- [10:21]
A
Yeah. When you have sex with someone, do you feel like there's an energy transfer there too?
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B
100 yeah. That's really the essence of it, right. Is that you want that energy transfer. It's like, you know, you can be. You can cultivate your sexual energy on your own as a solo person. And it's important to do that, to really use, use that energy source. But in a couple, you amplify that tenfold. Right. Especially in a conscious relationship where both people are on the same page and practicing how to learn how to exchange this energy with each other. Then they. I call them superpower couples.
- [10:58]
A
Wow. Every. Everyone should aim for that.
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B
Yeah, I think so.
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A
Psychedelics of sex. So you believe orgasms are a gateway?
- [11:08]
B
Yes, I'm all about mainlining and getting the. Getting things from within that if psychedelics or any kind of substances could do something to our system and open up these doorways to other states of consciousness and other dimensions, we can do that without. We don't necessarily need the external substance. And so over the years of me practicing conscious sexuality and having these experiences. So I done ecstasy maybe in my late teens. No, I'd had cervical orgasms first and then later done ecstasy in my early 20s. And I was like, oh, this is like a cervical orgasm. But my cervical orgasms are better. So having these mind altering experiences where you feel transcendent, you feel at one with yourself, with the universe, with God, you even see shapes and colors differently. So having full psychedelic trips by taking this energy and channeling it up the spine into the brain, up through the crown chakra, which was the aim in ancient Taoist and Tantric practices, is to use that energy as a springboard to higher states of awareness. And so again, we all have that capacity. But most people have quite unconscious experiences of sex where they're racing to the finish line. They think the ultimate goal is just that release of orgasm, which when I would say the ultimate goal is harvesting that energy, learning how to channel it in our lives. So yes, pleasure is a great goal. And I'D say you'd have even more pleasure by embarking on these practices. But you know, my ultimate barometric question is, does sex leave you feeling energized, rejuvenated, transformed, euphoric and like you changed your life? And if not, then you're doing it wrong. Oh, meaning there's ways to feel elevated and gather energy through sex or you feel depleted and like you've just dumped out all of this energy.
- [13:08]
A
Yeah. What is this three hour sex day that you talk about?
- [13:11]
B
Well, the more sex you have or the longer you have it, the more energy you can harvest. So in my experiences over the years, I've been had really good radar, I suppose, and magnetizing lovers who are also interested in endurance sports but like having long sex dates. And because I feel like you can really open up and unwind. It's like getting a massage for 15 minutes versus getting one for 90 minutes. Right. In 15 minutes you've barely started to even relax and let your guard down and it's over. Right. In a 90 minute session or a three hour session, you fully unwind. You're not expecting any kind of interruptions. You carved out this sacred sanctuary with yourself and your partner and then you're able to connect and harvest and really build up this energy over that time period. So this for me is when I had the most powerful breakthrough cataclysmic sexual experiences were in these longer sessions and these deeper orgasms for women, G spot orgasms and cervical orgasms often don't come through through in 15 minutes, 10 minutes. You know, the average sex session is like three minutes to five minutes. Right. So for women especially their. Women are insatiable. Women actually, you know, there's an old Taoist saying that sexually speaking, men are like fire. They're quick to ignite and quick to extinguish. Women are like water, they're slow to boil, but they keep on boiling. And so women usually don't even scratch the surface of their sexual potential. And they start to even think when their partners think that they're not that sexual because they're just not being fulfilled. Right. In a five minute session where they just get kind of pumped, dumped and slumped, they're like, well, I'm take it or leave it.
- [15:01]
A
Yeah, leave it.
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B
Right. But then if they're really well and well pleasured and hit these high notes of ecstasy, then they're insatiable. They just keep wanting it more and more and more. Once you open and awaken a woman.
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A
How can guys build up to three hours? Because most of My friends can. Can't last that long.
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B
Yeah. Practice, commitment and breathing. Like the number one resource for men is breathing. And most people, and men especially, they tend to breathe really shallow, hold the breath, tighten up the body, you know, get some orgasm and then they just like pass out at that peak.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And so it's like opening and relaxing the body all the way through that buildup. Breathing deeply, aiming for a four count inhale, a four count exhale, all the way through as much as possible, and then especially at the edge of orgasm and then practicing. So if we're saying that 0 is non orgasm, 10 is orgasm. When you hit that 7 to 10 zone where you're getting close to the edge but not in danger of going over it, that's when you're really deliberate about pausing and then making sure that you're breathing. And then very slowly, you'll build your edge up from a 7 to a 7.5 to an 8 to a 9, to the point where you're fully conscious, in control. So no matter what wild position she's.
- [16:21]
A
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- [17:13]
B
Or, you know, you're. You're like something that would normally just set you off over the edge. You can handle it. And then the gifts you give to the woman is this sense of, I've got you. If you fall, I will catch you. No matter what you throw at me, I've got this. And that energy really then turns the woman on. To be able to fully let go into all these deeper orgasms because she knows that the man is there and supporting her and holding that space and isn't just gonna rip the rug out from under her when she's getting close.
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A
Wow. I got one buddy who's at that level that's great. You could go for hours.
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B
Is he teaching all you guys like his?
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A
No, he's keeping it to himself. Yeah. It's impressive though. Women love it, obviously.
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B
Well, a woman who's turned on to her sexuality and open to it, I think some women, when they're more closed or they're still holding some kind of trauma, they want it to be over. Right. They haven't really like tapped into this magical power that's in their vaginas. But for a woman who's open to that and wanting to go on that journey and then a man is as well, that's where you hit these magical life changing heights. Right. Where the woman can then get to these deeper orgasms and the man can bring her there.
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A
Yeah. What's the biggest complaint you're seeing from both men and women when it comes to sex?
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B
Oh, well, I think for men their biggest complaint would be that their woman just doesn't seem open to it. And then for women, that the man doesn't last long enough.
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A
Yeah, I can see that. 100. What about size? Do they complain about size?
- [18:54]
B
Look, you know, I think that the reality is if women had to. I actually did a survey in one of my courses and I said, hey, like it was a women only course. And I said, if you had to say your ideal size, you know, all things being equal. Right. What would it be across the board? Eight. Eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, 8, 8, 8, 8, eight.
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A
Damn.
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B
Yeah, and then, but then there were some caveats, right? Like, okay, look, if the guy. But then, look, I think, I think you have to be in micropenis territory for it not to work. You know, I've been with partners who were 5 inches and because they were masterful, like they could fuck the shit out of me because energetically they could penetrate me. Their clock was really this lightsaber magic wand of power. They were able to obliterate me. Right. And so that's. That's all we want, Right. That's all a woman really wants is to be fuck annihilated. And so you can do that with any size. I've been with men who were 8 inches and they didn't own their, they didn't own their masculinity and it was kind of like it didn't, it wasn't attractive. And it wasn't fulfilling. Right. And so if a man is owning everything he's got, then he's in good shape. Wow.
- [20:12]
A
Guys must be intimidated to have sex with you.
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B
You know what I mean? Well, bring me your best shot. Shoot your shot. Look, I'm. It's something I love and I'm passionate about, and I think if you've got a partner who's willing to learn and is open to this, you know, anything is possible.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Yeah.
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A
Are you more teaching them because you.
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B
It depends. Like, over the years, I've had some partners who are infinitely skilled. Yeah, Right. And they've been able to meet me straight away and we teach each other and then other times where I've been in that role, but then that doesn't really last because you want to have somebody. Yeah. And you want to have. And then. And then if they are in that place, often people have blockages that are more deeper work for them to do. Right. And if they seize that and do the work, then fantastic. If not, then you're at a standstill.
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A
Yeah. Are you seeing a lot of beta males these days?
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B
Yeah, I mean, I'm a really big champion for alpha males and encouraging men to really seize and claim their masculinity and encouraging them that women want this, women are hungry for this. But, yeah, there's huge cultural messaging encouraging the beta male ideal. I think there's a corresponding resurgence now of wanting alpha males and wanting more masculine energy. But I never tire of sharing how much women want that. Right. And I think the whole 50 shades of gray phenomena, which was whatever, 10, 15 years ago, showed people. Right. Like you have this character. Not that I haven't even read the book, but I know it's about that. It's the strong masculine presence. He really takes the woman. He's dominant, charismatic, powerful, unapologetic. Right. And women are reading this book in the subway, getting wet. Right. I don't know how many, 200 million copies sold or whatever it was. Right. More than that, probably. And showing this is what women underneath are craving. They want a man who can take charge and really manhandle them it with love.
- [22:19]
A
Yeah.
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B
Right.
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A
Yeah, that makes sense. I think women want to be submissive for the most part. Right. Obviously there's going to be some that want to take the lead, but I.
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B
Think at our nature, it's like wanting to submit to a worthy man, like every woman deep down wants that. Wants to find a man who's a king and a captain and, you know, a dominant, strong, confident person who is Worthy of submission, right? Like bring that to me and I will be on my knees, right? And that's I often say too, like, it's not that behind every good woman is a man. It's behind every good man. No way. Behind every good man is a woman. Behind every good woman is a man on his knees, ferociously pounding and giving her everything he's got, right? Turning her into this, well, woman. And then it's this beautiful interplay where she's well fucked, she's satisfied, she's fulfilled and she's the most supportive, encouraging, loving, go with the flow woman. If a woman is under fucked, she's nagging, she's humiliates him, she'll belittle him, berate him in front of his friends, she'll embarrass him because she's secretly under fucked and doesn't even realize it, right? She's just resentful. And people misinterpret this nagging or whatever as some kind of inherent trait or she's just like that, she's under fucked.
- [23:41]
A
My friend Walter o', Brien, fifth highest IQ in the world, he told me something years ago that stuck with me in regards to this. He said the, the most successful people in the world are also the horniest. And I know you talk about this too.
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B
Yeah, that old book, Think and Grow Rich, the in the 30s, like was the author of that book.
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A
Oh, Napoleon Hill.
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B
Yes. So he's got a chapter there, the 10th chapter where he says that all these moguls and people have learned how to really harness their sexual energy. And maybe not all of them, right. Some of it might not apply or people have inherited wealth or whatever, but for these self made people that he interviewed in that book to like, what's your secret secret? It inevitably came down to having a really supercharged, intimate love sex connection that was there fueling their lives. So I agree with that. And that's, that's kind of like the secret of sex, right? That, that's why I would say sex is so censored, suppressed, so much misinformation about it, so much taboo is that we all literally have this power at our fingertips. And if people knew how to use it, and when they do, they become unstoppable, right? Both in harnessing their own creative gifts, their manifesting power. And they get to a place where they don't give a right, they get to this place where they don't care what other people think about them. And that is one of the most important things you can have, especially as A leader and to speak out and make your opinion known and take an unpopular stance. Be a pioneer in something. Right. If you're a trailblazer, you're saying things that people haven't said before, you're doing things that they haven't done before. You need an element of courage, and if you don't have that, you won't take those chances.
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A
Right.
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B
So you have to be willing to be that fool, in a way. Right. Who steps out off of the cliff. And trust that I know my truth so well that the universe is going to support me. And if it doesn't, it doesn't matter, because I know I have to live my truth.
- [25:39]
A
Absolutely. Certain cultures have a lot of shame around talking about sex.
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B
All cultures? Cultures.
- [25:44]
A
You think all.
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B
I don't think there's. Look, there might be some Eastern cultures or pockets of cultures where they have a different kind of relationship to it, but I think the Western ethos, for sure, there's a lot of shame.
- [25:57]
A
That's. Yeah. Like the slush shaming and stuff like that, right?
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B
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, that's a really big one. The Madonna horror complex that both men and women end up buying into. And it's drilled into us, you know, from the earliest days of our lives. And that mythology of Madonna and that separation where women aren't really given permission to be sexual. Men are given more permission, women a lot less. They have to go through, I'd say, inner. Inner transformation, gates of fire, to really claim that within themselves.
- [26:31]
A
Yeah. It is interesting on my Asian side. Definitely didn't talk about it.
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B
No. No.
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A
Not even once?
- [26:39]
B
Not even once, no.
- [26:40]
A
And I know you live in Asia, so you can relate.
- [26:43]
B
Yeah.
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A
They're kind of closed off, you know.
- [26:45]
B
Well, my experience is that something like, within a family unit, it was more open and spoken about, but less so in a public, casual kind of conversation. But in those more private settings, there was a healthier relationship to it.
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A
I could see that. I did want to touch on the urine therapy stuff.
- [27:02]
B
Yeah.
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A
How long have you been doing that?
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B
Let's see. I think I started in 2020. So nearly five years.
- [27:09]
A
And you've noticed dramatic results?
- [27:11]
B
Well, I wouldn't. I didn't have a major issue to heal. Okay. I read about it and heard about it, and we've talked about, like, you know, there's a podcast I listened to about it, and I felt really like it intuitively felt like a good thing to do. So I started drinking my morning urine and fermenting urine and doing urine enemas, tried snorting some fermented urine. So I've been doing these things. I'm in the more like health optimizing place. Right. Where I don't have any major issues to heal, But I'm always looking at how to optimize. So I do think that there is an optimization factor there. But I'm not the best example of someone who had some major illness and then healed them from that.
- [27:51]
A
I wonder if someone had a sore throat and they gargled aged urine, what would happen?
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B
Well, they would say that it would help heal it.
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A
I would think so, based off what I'm hearing about it.
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B
Yeah. And then I've heard that snorting it can help remove mold that's actually been lodged in the sinus cavities. Like people have snorted it. And then this black stuff comes out. It acts as this poultice to pull toxic residue out. And same thing with the urine enema. I mean, I've done a bunch of those in there.
- [28:21]
A
Wild.
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B
If you've ever done a coffee enema, that's one thing. Doing an aged urine enema is next level. Like, it's just like this whole body high. Almost like you're. Like your whole body is shimmering.
- [28:34]
A
Do you use age urine for that or fresh?
- [28:36]
B
Yeah, aged. You can do both, but the aged is more powerful.
- [28:39]
A
More stem cells.
- [28:40]
B
Yeah. Wow.
- [28:41]
A
I might have to try the snorting because I have two cysts in my nose.
- [28:44]
B
Yeah.
- [28:44]
A
And that's probably for mold.
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B
I think there's so much more mold out there and in our. In there, in our environments that people ever know. And if you've ever then had an experience with it, you become more aware, like walking into a room and knowing when there's mold.
- [28:59]
A
Yeah. Whenever I walk in an old building now, I kind of hold my breath, honestly, Especially in like Florida or somewhere by the water.
- [29:07]
B
I have air fresheners, like air filters, everywhere I go, Even if I travel, you know.
- [29:13]
A
Oh, you bring them with you?
- [29:14]
B
Well, either I usually just buy one, Then when I'm there, if it's same power source, but usually they're quite big and cumbersome. So I find it easier if I'm somewhere for a while, Like a few weeks or a month or more, Then I'll buy one locally. Damn.
- [29:27]
A
What other techniques are you trying on the side other than urine therapy? Anything crazy?
- [29:32]
B
Well, the sex one is probably the biggest one for me. Surfing is a huge therapeutic endeavor. You know, I was talking to somebody about this today about how people go for mineral baths, like hot springs. Right. That I think the Ocean is a giant mineral bath. So we're absorbing minerals and substances just through being in the water. Right. Because I know a lot of surfers who. Even some who have really wild lifestyles and really excessive habits and they've got. Do you know much about iridology?
- [30:05]
A
The eye stuff?
- [30:05]
B
Yeah. The iris?
- [30:06]
A
Yeah, I know about it.
- [30:07]
B
And so this science idea is that the more toxins you have in your body, they'll show up in your iris as distortions and marks and dots.
- [30:16]
A
Yeah.
- [30:17]
B
And I've been with these surfers who are, like I said, quite heavy lifestyles and they've been surfing for 40 years and they have the most pure blue, not a taint on their iris.
- [30:29]
A
Wow.
- [30:29]
B
Wow. So whatever they're doing is getting fully balanced out by their time in the water. And just the whole idea of aligning with this wave and this energy and flow, like that's one of my biggest outlets.
- [30:41]
A
I could see that. Because there's also a lot of grounding with surfing.
- [30:44]
B
Yeah, absolutely. Anything that you're where you're in nature and connecting on this deep level which to ride a wave you have to fully tune in and open yourself to this flow and then align with it. It's such a beautiful meditative practice.
- [30:59]
A
Absolutely. Okay. I did need to ask you about the energy orgasm.
- [31:03]
B
Yes.
- [31:03]
A
So you've made someone orgasm from just energy across the room?
- [31:07]
B
Yes.
- [31:08]
A
How?
- [31:09]
B
Well, I mean, a number of ways. I think that, look, we're all telepathic creatures, right. We all have these skills, we all have a deep energy awareness within us, like energy meridians, the flow of energy and these deeper orgasms, like the orgasm of that ejaculation. Cervical orgasms in women, even anal orgasms, all reach these more full body psychedelic crown chakra opening experiences. So you start to tap into these neural pathways in your body, in your brain, and then it's. And then if you have a really powerful connection with somebody like Einstein's, what is it, spooky action at a distance where he talks about quantum entanglement where a particle here can have an effect on a particle that's hundreds of thousands of light years away. Right. And so this is actually documented in quantum physics. So. But yes, having that intimate connection, thinking about them, feeling into them, and then they can have a corresponding experience on the other side of the world. Wow. Yeah. And vice versa.
- [32:15]
A
Someone did that to you too?
- [32:16]
B
Yeah, I've had that with people like again, these very skilled and inner aware people. Right. Where you begin, the more you have these experiences together, then even if you're separated by physical distance. It's easier to keep having them because you have that connection still, even when you're not physically together. And then you put your attention on it and you can actually build up into these full, energetic orgasms.
- [32:42]
A
That's so nice. So hands free orgasm.
- [32:44]
B
Yes. Come on. No hands.
- [32:47]
A
That's crazy. Binaural Beats can do that to create orgasms. Hands free.
- [32:52]
B
Hands free or you looked into that. No, I know about Binaural Beats, but I didn't know that it was being used for Oreos.
- [32:58]
A
Yeah, if you go on YouTube, it's got millions of views on it. There's a few of them didn't work on me, but, yeah, I might not be in tune.
- [33:06]
B
Maybe you need a person.
- [33:07]
A
Yeah.
- [33:08]
B
And not a program.
- [33:09]
A
Yeah, probably. We'll have to talk after this. So you can lift a coconut with your vagina? You mentioned that earlier. How long did it take to train to that point?
- [33:19]
B
That was several years of training, and I've been doing the lifting practice for about 25 years. And, I mean, I could go heavier, but I decided that I was happy with the coconut.
- [33:30]
A
Ten pounds, That's a lot of weight.
- [33:31]
B
Yeah, and that's. I mean, look, that's not necessary for someone to have all the benefits of a strong pelvic floor. I'm, as I said, like an endurance athlete. I'm interested in how far things can go, and I wanted to be able to show people the power of the vagina. Right. And lift all these different objects from all over the world.
- [33:52]
A
Well done. You might have to sign up for a Guinness World Record or something for that one.
- [33:56]
B
There is a woman.
- [33:57]
A
Oh, there is.
- [33:57]
B
Yeah. That's Tatiana Klausnikova from Russia. That's what I'm the number two strongest vagina in the world. She's number one.
- [34:04]
A
What is she lifting?
- [34:06]
B
She has lifted 14 kilos.
- [34:08]
A
Holy crap. How many pounds is that?
- [34:10]
B
About 31 pounds.
- [34:11]
A
Oh, my gosh.
- [34:12]
B
Yeah.
- [34:13]
A
That's insane. 31 pounds. That's more than guys can curl.
- [34:16]
B
Yeah.
- [34:17]
A
Like, that's actually insane. Have you met her?
- [34:21]
B
I haven't met her, but I've just, you know, referenced her from afar.
- [34:24]
A
You two need to do a video together or something.
- [34:26]
B
Yeah.
- [34:27]
A
Wow. Morning sex or night?
- [34:30]
B
Morning. Why start the day off with a bang? I mean, most people have fresh energy, Right. You've just woken up by the end of the night, people are feeling tired. They've had an entire day of work, children, chores. Then if you're having sex in the morning, you're starting. It's like A cup of coffee. You know, you're getting all these incredible neurotransmitters and hormones flowing. You're connecting to your partner. It's like putting on this energetic shield to go out and meet the day with. So I encourage people, especially people with children, set your alarm half an hour, an hour earlier and have your sexual connection, your sex date. Before you start your day, you'll notice a huge improvement in how your day flows. Right. Think of when you've had amazing sex and you go out into the world and everything just flows right. You're like, nothing you can do, no wrong. You know, some kind of incident happens, you're confronted with something, you just handle it with poise and grace. You can live your whole life like that, sourcing that energy from your sexual connection.
- [35:31]
A
What's the longest you've gone without sex?
- [35:35]
B
Three years.
- [35:36]
A
Damn, that's more than I thought you'd say. I thought you'd say like a week.
- [35:40]
B
Three years, okay, that's being single, not in a relationship. In a relationship. I mean, I start like after a couple two or three days. I'm like, something's wrong here. Damn, that doesn't.
- [35:51]
A
You're like a daily sex type of.
- [35:52]
B
Person, ideally, or, you know, five days a week. If you're having a really solid three hour sex date, then that, that can last for days. That counts for more. But yeah, like, and even in the couples I work with over the years, the ones who really get on the ANAMI program, they'll say, like, they'll start, they'll be super in sync and connected and then they'll go two or three days and they'll notice, they get irritable with each other. They start nitpicking and fighting. They go, oh, we haven't had sex in three days. Like a whole three days. And then they go and have sex. And it cleans the slate and restores their connection.
- [36:26]
A
Interesting.
- [36:26]
B
So I've seen that borne out. So for me, the, the three years was like a conscious celibacy.
- [36:33]
A
Got it.
- [36:33]
B
Yeah.
- [36:34]
A
Did you find yourself during that time?
- [36:36]
B
Well, for me, those times usually have come after a big breakup where I like to go inward and take stock and like, okay, what the pat. What are the patterns that showed up in this relationship and how can I shift them? That I feel confident going into a new frequency, moving forward, and then I'll just know when it's time.
- [36:57]
A
Right.
- [36:57]
B
I don't set a goal like, okay, I want to have sex for three years. I just know when I know. And so I've Done that twice, like a two and a half year period and a three year period. However, I'm working on still connecting to my sexual energy. So I'm self pleasuring, I'm moving and recirculating that energy, channeling it so I'm not just not having sex.
- [37:18]
A
Got it.
- [37:18]
B
Right. Which I think is a huge distinction. And where people suffer in celibacy or as we see in church figures, when they're just not having sex and that energy then explodes.
- [37:29]
A
Wet dreams.
- [37:31]
B
Well, or worse than that, right? Like touching people. They shouldn't because that energy is so distorted and mutated. Right. Rather than still having conscious consciousness control and direction with it, you're just not using, channeling that into another person, but you're channeling it within yourself and then into your life.
- [37:48]
A
Have you had any clients in a sexless marriage that you had to help out?
- [37:52]
B
Oh, yeah, all the time.
- [37:53]
A
Those are common, right?
- [37:55]
B
Very common. And sometimes people, they're so casual about it. Like I remember being in this call one time on one of my programs and this guy calls in and he's like, there's this and there's that and there's this and we haven't had sex in eight years. And then there's this and there's that. And I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
- [38:10]
A
Eight years?
- [38:11]
B
Hold on a minute. Did you just say eight years? Like, yeah, I'm like, okay, just brushing over that. Like it's just one of the issues. I'm like, that's the main issue, Right? So it happens a lot where people fall into that place and because in our culture we buy into this. Okay, well, sex isn't the most important part of a relationship. But it is. It's the most important part, right? It's the thing that, the glue that holds you together and the thing that unless you're in an open relationship that you're not doing with other people, right? It's the thing that actually distinguishes your intimate relationship.
- [38:45]
A
Have you ever seen an open relationship work out?
- [38:47]
B
No, same never.
- [38:49]
A
Never.
- [38:51]
B
And like every time, you know, people come to, and I've been around these communities and had friends in these communities and every time, and I'm curious, right, like, tell me your story. Like, how did this evolve? And it's inevitably come out of some kind of standstill in the marriage where they can't feel like they can't go any further, they don't want to separate and so they open up the relationship, right. As a, as their supposed remedy. And maybe on some level it's Better because they're more honest and they communicate more. But I don't see it as ever being the final solution. Right. Like I, I talk about something that I call conscious monogamy, which is that most people, 99.999% of people, aren't actually monogamous. They think they are because they're not having sex with other people, but they're not actually having sex with each other. They're not actually emotionally open. They're not actually sexually surrendering to their partner. They're just in a shitty relationship where they're blocked off, they don't communicate, they don't have life changing sex and they're calling that monogamy. But that's not monogamy. That's just a crappy relationship. Right. So when people try to say, well, monogamy doesn't work like, well, you don't actually have it. So when I work with people and we cultivate that space of having really deep emotional, intimate connection, off the charts life changing. Right. Because that's the definition. It has to be life changing sex. When they have that, those people aren't looking for other people to have sex with. Ever.
- [40:21]
A
That's a good point.
- [40:22]
B
Ever. It's only when there's already a chasm in the relationship and they're looking for solutions. Right, right. And they buy into that idea.
- [40:30]
A
No, that makes 100% sense. If you're having good sex, why would you want to have sex with someone else?
- [40:36]
B
You don't.
- [40:36]
A
Yeah.
- [40:37]
B
Deep, deep life changing sex. Right. Like I said, the kind that really opens you up and self realizes you, where you become changed from it. To me, that's what sex is meant to do. And when people are in that place you don't even look at, you might be attracting a lot of people because you're in this very magnetic, charismatic, radiant place. And so people are magnetized to you, but you just, it's like a compliment. You appreciate it, but your, your eye is on the prize. Right. You know, where you're getting fed.
- [41:08]
A
I wonder how many women get to that place because you hear these stories of like, oh, I can't orgasm from sex.
- [41:13]
B
Well, in my, in an army land, lots of them do. You know, we have these all the time where people thought like say women that they were just one of those women who couldn't orgasm. They bought into that narrative.
- [41:24]
A
There's like stats on it, right? Like 10% or something. Can't orgasm.
- [41:27]
B
Well, the stats are a bit skew because they'll say 70% of women can't orgasm from intercourse. But there's. They're actually talking about clitoral orgasms. And why would you orgasm from intercourse via your clitoris when the clitoris is on the outside of the vagina? Right. Like, it doesn't even make sense. And this shows you the level of ignorance that we're dealing with in these people who are conducting these studies, Right. Where they don't even understand that there are different orgasms for women. So that part could be true, but it's. Because why would you try to have a clitoral orgasm when you're having sex? You can. Some women can do it, but some women couldn't. Just anatomically speaking, it doesn't work. But from intercourse, you'd be wanting to have more of a G spot and ultimately cervical orgasm. And for women to get to those places is a huge level of surrender and openness, working through sexual blockages, healing any kind of sexual trauma, beliefs like we talked about, taking on Madonna horror ideas, all of that stuff plays into it, Right? And when they do that kind of deeper inner work, then, yes, they get to those places. Sometimes it's as simple as me saying, look, every woman can have, let's say, a G spot orgasm. And they'll go, really? Because I thought maybe I tried and it didn't work. And I was one of those women who couldn't. So then they go home that very night and they have their first G spot orgasm just because I told them they could. Right. And then for other women, it might take longer because they have more of a buildup of issues that are preventing them from getting there. Wow.
- [43:03]
A
G spot orgasm. Haven't had that one yet.
- [43:05]
B
You haven't? Or like in you, like myself?
- [43:09]
A
Yeah. No.
- [43:09]
B
Yeah.
- [43:10]
A
It's in the ass. Yeah. I can't say I've had that one yet, you know? Must feel nice.
- [43:17]
B
Well, what's stopping you from going there?
- [43:20]
A
Was shoving something in my ass.
- [43:21]
B
Yeah, just.
- [43:23]
A
I don't know. I haven't done it.
- [43:25]
B
Done it yet. I feel like it's like God's little joke on men. Right. Because you have to confront whatever issues or beliefs you might have about putting things. Things up your ass. But I mean, it is the corresponding G spot, the prostate for men.
- [43:40]
A
So.
- [43:41]
B
And it can act as a real same thing. Amplifier and inner dimension opener for men. I've seen men have some full, like, shaking, crying, massive emotional releases through prostate stimulation and orgasm.
- [43:57]
A
Whoa.
- [43:57]
B
Yeah. So it's an equivalent to the deeper vaginal orgasms for women, like G spot orgasms, cervical orgasms that Are much more emotional and spiritual. Same thing with the G spot for men.
- [44:10]
A
So you've given guy G spot orgasms.
- [44:12]
B
Yeah. You can go really gently and slowly and ease into it. Right. Where honestly, like the secret tip is like if you're. If someone's giving you head.
- [44:24]
A
Yeah.
- [44:25]
B
And then they're stimulating your ass at the same time. Time. And they oh so slowly make their way inside. You won't even notice really because you'll be so preoccupied with what else is going on.
- [44:36]
A
Wow, that's a good tip.
- [44:37]
B
Yeah, yeah, it's a golden tip. I'd say. Worth the price of admission.
- [44:41]
A
Damn, I'm looking at that one. Yeah. Haven't done any of the anal stuff, but people talk about it for sure. It's a hot topic.
- [44:49]
B
Hot topic. And I mean, why not? Right? If you find the right person who's open to these things and you are open to it, they're all like. I look at them as tools in a toolbox. Right. There's different energies and times. Like, like the ass is a great storehouse of emotion. When we talk about people who have a tight ass, that person has a stick up their ass. It's like it's a place of repression. Right. And stimulating the ass helps you to let go and unwind. So if you're feeling like, say it for me as a woman, like I'm feeling, feeling really stuck in like something like there's something that I just need to let go of and I can't quite access it. Anal play is a great remedy because it's helping you to access this place that you can't normally get to that easily. Right. You can't talk your way through it. You can kind of your way through it, but you can anal your way through it even faster. I'm sure guys bringing out the big guns.
- [45:43]
A
Yeah, I'm sure guys don't mind helping you out with that problem.
- [45:46]
B
Well, that's what we do for each other. We heal each other. Right. In that kind of deep, what I call gourmet sex relationship. You're learning to heal and use the metaphysical properties of these sex acts.
- [46:01]
A
Gourmet sex. Love that. Sex positions, how much do those matter?
- [46:08]
B
I think a lot of it comes down to intuition eventually. But certain positions like say for cervical orgasms and women, doggy style is number one.
- [46:20]
A
Cervical. Cervical is the most powerful one, right?
- [46:22]
B
Yes.
- [46:22]
A
Okay.
- [46:23]
B
So that position gives direct access. But I wouldn't recommend going straight in. I would have a lot of warm up foreplay sex and other positions. But that's the primo position for cervical orgasms, when you get really good at having them, you can have them in any position. So just like I talked about with the energy orgasms, once you've opened up these energetic pathways in yourself, you can just access them mentally even, right? And like put yourself into that place and get there. But initially, as you're working up to that level of mastery, then, yeah, positions can matter. But ultimately the biggest marker of getting to these deeper experiences is surrender. And like my definition of gourmet sax is when two people, people are coming together and you're completely open. So no barriers, no hang ups, no walls put up. You're fully abandoning yourself and opening yourself emotionally energetically, sexually. That's where you hit the goal, right? That's the magic ingredient in gourmet sex. And that's where you hit these. And the, the more powerful they are, especially the more surrendered you are.
- [47:35]
A
Can you have gourmet sex with a condom?
- [47:38]
B
Yeah, I mean, ideally you are skin to skin. And because condoms, well, condoms imply a level of barrier. Like, what, what's the barrier? Therefore, we don't know each other well enough, we don't trust each other enough. So I suppose that in itself is saying, okay, that level of trust isn't there. But if you were, say somebody was using it for birth control and they did have that level of openness, they could still get there.
- [48:05]
A
Okay, yeah. What about l lube?
- [48:08]
B
I'm not a lube for the ass. 100 buckets of lube, all the lube you want, go for it. But for vaginas, no, I don't recommend. In fact, I forbid women to use lube. Wow. I believe it's overriding the voice of the vagina if the. What? What is it? What is lube? What does wetness mean in a vagina? What does it mean?
- [48:29]
A
That they want to. Right.
- [48:31]
B
Yeah. Right. So if a woman's not wet, what does that mean?
- [48:34]
A
They don't, they don't want.
- [48:35]
B
Well, she's not ready yet, right. And so if we're slathering on the lube and making it ready, then we're forcing it to do something that it's not yet ready to do. So all that does is create dissociation, create numbness for the woman, and she probably won't orgasm or maybe just have a clitoral orgasm, which is a more superficial orgasm. So I encourage women to tune in, Listen, like, what do they need? More emotional connection to their partner? That they need different physical stimulation to their partner. And when they get that, they'll start to lubricate naturally. But we've been trained like, oh, lube is a girl's best friend. Right.
- [49:12]
A
Like it's marketed.
- [49:13]
B
Yeah. And even so called sex experts will say that like, oh, no, of course it's great to just best thing ever. And I say, no, it's the worst thing ever. Because women are then becoming more disconnected from the voice of their vagina. And vaginal weightlifting actually is one of the best physical tools to improve lubrication. Circulation equals lubrication. If you're exercising that area and stimulating it, you're getting all of that oxygen and hormonal flow and you lubricate much more easily. But that's part of the equation. The rest of it, like I said, is deeper emotional connection and physical stimulation.
- [49:50]
A
That makes sense. So no lube in the bedroom, guys.
- [49:53]
B
Yeah.
- [49:53]
A
Unless you're doing anal.
- [49:54]
B
That's right. Anal only.
- [49:56]
A
That's funny. Anything else you want to get off your chest or where could people learn from you?
- [50:00]
B
Also, you can come to kimi.com that's where I host all of my online programs that I call sexual savant salons. And so we have them for men, women, couples and vaginas. Specifically vaginal kung fu for the weightlifting teachings. And then I have a podcast, Orgasmic Enlightenment. I'm active on Instagram and not so much on YouTube these days, but got banned there. Well, it just felt like it slowed down. Right. There's for everyone.
- [50:29]
A
It did.
- [50:30]
B
Where you. Yeah. That you just. The growth isn't coming back and you put so much energy into videos and making good videos. It was like, okay, whatever. I'm pivoting to podcasts where you've got the longer form conversations anyway, which are more interesting.
- [50:45]
A
Yeah, people just want clips these days, though. I just filmed these to get clips, honestly. Yeah, that's where the attention's at.
- [50:50]
B
Yeah. And you're good at it.
- [50:52]
A
Yeah. Well, some of these will pop off, so thanks for coming on.
- [50:55]
B
My pleasure.
- [50:56]
A
Check her out, guys. Shoot her a message if you need some help in the bedroom. See you next time. Wherever you guys are watching this show, I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe. It helps a lot with the algorithm. It helps us get bigger and better guests and it helps us grow the team. Truly means a lot. Thank you guys for supporting. And here's the episode.