Mastering Emotions: Green Beret's Unseen Advantage | Nick Lavery DSH #875

Summary

Digital Social Hour: Mastering Emotions – Green Beret's Unseen Advantage with Nick Lavery (DSH #875)
Released on November 10, 2024

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Introduction

In episode #875 of the Digital Social Hour, host Sean Kelly engages in a profound conversation with Nick Lavery, an active Green Beret with nearly two decades of military service. This episode delves deep into the interplay between emotions and high-performance environments, drawing from Nick's extensive experience in special operations and his journey as an entrepreneur.

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Nick Lavery’s Military Journey

Early Career and Longevity

Nick Lavery shares insights into his extensive 18-year career as a Green Beret, highlighting the typically short tenure of special operations personnel. When asked about the average career length, Nick estimates, “In the military, it's probably something like, oh, six, seven years with my guess” (01:18). This underscores his dedication, as he approaches the milestone of 20 years to qualify for full retirement benefits.

Decision to Join the Green Berets

After graduating college, Nick was determined to enlist in Special Operations. He chose the Green Beret branch for its unique mission focus and the accelerated path it offered: “They offer what's known as an 18x ray contract option, which gives guys off the street the chance to bypass serving in the conventional army and going straight into the Special Forces pipeline” (11:09). This strategic decision was driven by his desire to engage in unconventional warfare and work directly with indigenous forces.

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Building Resilience Through Adversity

Overcoming a Traumatic Childhood

Nick’s resilience was forged early in life. He recounts, “I was the new kid in school every year... picked on, bullied, struggled socially... scared, insecure kid” (05:18). These challenging experiences laid the foundation for his later mental toughness, further strengthened by his military training.

Special Forces Selection and Personal Challenges

Describing the grueling selection process, Nick reflects on moments of doubt: “There were multiple points during that 14 days where I was like, hey man, maybe, maybe you don't have what it takes” (08:34). The intense environment of Special Forces training not only tested his physical limits but also his emotional resilience.

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The Critical Role of Emotions in High-Performance Settings

Mastering Rather Than Suppressing Emotions

A central theme of the discussion is the importance of emotional mastery. Nick emphasizes, “You certainly cannot get rid of them. The sooner we can recognize that... we are creatures of emotion... how can I train my mind to be able to control them? I'm going to learn how to control it” (00:32). He argues that emotional control is essential for making logical decisions, especially in high-stakes environments.

Impact on Leadership and Personal Relationships

Nick connects emotional mastery to various aspects of life, including business and parenting. He states, “If I'm flying off the handles every time something bothers me... you're going to be developing and influencing some people into some directions that you don't want them to go” (17:14). This highlights how managing emotions can lead to healthier relationships and more effective leadership.

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From Soldier to Entrepreneur: Building Precision Components

Founding Precision Components

Leveraging his military experience, Nick founded Precision Components in 2021, a company focused on training and consulting in leadership, resilience, performance, and mindset. He describes the company’s growth, serving clients like Fortune 100 companies and professional athlete organizations: “We start to pump that and translate those themes... into a way that's absorbable by a business person or an athlete” (04:37).

Philosophy and Mission

Nick’s entrepreneurial mission revolves around helping others unlock their potential by tapping into their inherent resilience. He believes that most people operate at only a fraction of their true capacity: “Most think that they're at a higher capacity than they really are... you barely know a fraction of what they're truly capable of” (28:49). His goal is to provide the tools necessary for individuals and organizations to achieve peak performance.

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A Pivotal Moment: Injury and Transformation

The Afghan Deployment and Insider Attack

A defining moment in Nick’s life occurred during his deployment in Afghanistan, where an insider attack resulted in the loss of his leg. He recounts the harrowing experience: “Nick Lavery was shot by a member of the Afghan national police force... my right leg was basically vaporized” (20:08). This event not only tested his physical limits but also his emotional resilience.

Decision to Persevere

Facing life-threatening adversity, Nick made the critical choice to continue his military career despite severe injuries: “It was either roll over and die or go back to doing what you do. That was it” (24:25). His unwavering commitment exemplifies the mental fortitude cultivated through his military training and personal experiences.

Recovery and Adaptation

Nick underwent approximately 40 surgeries to amputate his leg, followed by extensive rehabilitation. He reflects on the process: “It took months of basic rehab... with enough reps, you can figure it out” (25:12). This period of recovery further deepened his understanding of resilience and adaptability.

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Embracing Struggle as a Path to Growth

Discomfort as a Gatekeeper to Destiny

Nick posits that struggle is essential for growth, stating, “Struggle is a requirement for growth... the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal” (27:16). He believes that enduring and overcoming discomfort directly correlates with achieving significant victories.

Unlocking Hidden Potential

Drawing from his own experiences, Nick argues that individuals often underestimate their true capabilities: “I use me as an example... I realized I had an entire another level, multiple additional levels within me already to tap into” (30:18). His journey from overcoming a traumatic injury to building a successful business illustrates the untapped potential that lies within each person.

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Conclusion and Takeaways

Nick Lavery’s story is a testament to the power of emotional mastery and resilience. From his early life challenges and demanding military career to overcoming life-altering injuries and launching a successful entrepreneurial venture, Nick embodies the principles he teaches. His insights offer valuable lessons for anyone striving to maximize their potential, manage their emotions, and navigate high-pressure environments effectively.

Notable Quotes:

• Nick Lavery: “You certainly cannot get rid of them. The sooner we can recognize that... we are creatures of emotion... I'm going to learn how to control it” (00:32).

• Nick Lavery: “Struggle is a requirement for growth... the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal” (27:16).

• Nick Lavery: “Most think that they're at a higher capacity than they really are... you barely know a fraction of what they're truly capable of” (28:49).

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Connect with Nick Lavery

For more insights and resources, visit Team Machine, which offers access to Nick’s book, training programs, and merchandise.

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This summary provides a comprehensive overview of the key discussions and insights from episode #875 of the Digital Social Hour, featuring Nick Lavery. Whether you're a business leader, athlete, or someone seeking personal growth, Nick's experiences offer valuable lessons on mastering emotions and unlocking your true potential.

Transcript

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[Sean]

You can't fight your emotions. I mean, they're there.

[Nick Lavery]

You certainly cannot get rid of them. The sooner we can recognize that the same exact thing that makes us the dominant species on this planet, that being that we are creatures of emotion, is also the same thing that opens up a massive vulnerability to us. How can I train my mind to be able to control them? I'm going to get rid of it, but I'm going to learn how to control it.

[Sean]

All right, guys, Green Beret. Nick Lavery here. First Green Beret on the show. Thanks for coming on, man.

[Nick Lavery]

Thanks for having me.

[Sean]

Yeah, I'm honored. And you're still active?

[Nick Lavery]

Still active.

[Sean]

That's the first active member I think I've had too.

[Nick Lavery]

Okay.

[Sean]

A thousand episodes.

[Nick Lavery]

Go. Two birds, one stone.

[Sean]

Yeah. You've been at it for a while now, right?

[Nick Lavery]

Coming up on 18 years. Wow. Yeah.

[Sean]

What's the average length you think that.

[Nick Lavery]

People lost, like the average career length?

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

In the military, it's probably something like, oh, six, seven years with my guess.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

A lot of people come in, they do like a quick kind of four or five year contract and then call it a day, and then you got some that go, you know, 30 plus years. If I were to guess, I'd say, yeah, probably like six, seven. Damn time frame.

[Sean]

You want to hit that 30 plus?

[Nick Lavery]

No, I don't think I'm gonna go that long, brother. Yeah, man. I mean, I'll. At this point, I'll go to 20, which is the amount of time you need to serve to be able to retire with 40 full benefits. Got it. That's right around the corner for me. So I'll go to that point for sure. And then really the only question is how much longer do I stay and beyond that.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

If at all.

[Sean]

Yeah. Do you feel like the age is catching up a little bit?

[Nick Lavery]

Not really.

[Sean]

Really?

[Nick Lavery]

No, not really. I mean, you know, my. My job now in the military is in a leadership position. You know, my time on the teams doing the running and gun and stuff, that. That ended for me about a year and a half or so ago.

[Sean]

Got it.

[Nick Lavery]

So age wise, I feel great. And as much as I love what I do, it's I mean, it's a privilege to get to do what I do, period, with the stuff I'm doing on the side and my entrepreneurial stuff. The more I do that, the more I'm falling in love with it and the more curious I am to see what that looks like when I just drop the hammer and kind of go full in on that. So I think that that's probably what'll be the catalyst for me to get out, is so that I can shift full steam into the other stuff.

[Sean]

Yeah. And we were talking off camera about the purpose of, you know, because a lot of guys retire and then they get lonely, depressed. But having a business to fall back on is really important. Right.

[Nick Lavery]

I would say that if assuming it's something that you have a passion for, which I'd say is a theme and a recipe for success as an entrepreneur, is a true love of that game, it will likely is not going to fill that void of being a soldier, a service member, a special operator. But I think it gets you close where you're. It gets you up in the morning, you're fired up, you're ready to go to work, you got the energy and the desire and the motivation to go win the day. So I think that that can at least help those transitioning from military service into that next chapter.

[Sean]

I love it. Yeah. Talk to everyone about the business. What exactly is it and how did you start it?

[Nick Lavery]

Precision Components is the name of the company. We started it, I guess, officially in 2021. I'd say 2022 is when it really kind of became more operational. It's a service company. We do training and consulting mostly in the arenas of leadership, resilience, performance, mindset, team building. And, you know, it's wild to just kind of look up and look back and around and going, man, how the hell did we. How did we do this? And seeing some of the clients we serve, like Fortune 100 companies, professional athlete organization, I mean, it's really been remarkable.

[Sean]

That's cool.

[Nick Lavery]

And, yeah, it's a. It's an exciting ride. We're still very much babies in the space, but it's. It's moving faster than me and my team can really keep up with.

[Sean]

That's incredible. Good problem to have, Great problem to have. So these companies, they need some mindset help. That's the thing.

[Nick Lavery]

I would say that's a common theme. Yeah. Is mindset, which is ironic because a lot of these organizations work with and people are successful according to just every metric you could think.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah.

[Sean]

Fortune Hundred is Like, you know, multi, multi millions.

[Nick Lavery]

So they got all, they got all the numbers and data that shows that they know how to perform, they know what works. But when you can help them flip. Flip a switch into a new gear mentally and see them adopt those principles, which are a lot is. Is garnered from my time in the military and within the special operations community.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

You start to pump that and translate those themes and methodologies and tactics and tools into a way that's absorbable by a business person or an athlete. And they put that into practice, man, you just start to see their productivity just start to skyrocket. Wow. It's wild.

[Sean]

I love that. Were you, Were you born pretty mentally strong growing up, like. Or did you inherit most of that from the military?

[Nick Lavery]

It's a good question. I would say that the foundation of that began being developed for me as a young person, like, really young. Like four years old. Whoa. You know, my background, my of growing up, I was the new kid in school every year all the way up until eventually I got to college. So picked on, bullied, struggled socially. I mean, kind of all those cliche.

[Sean]

Really, because you're a big examples.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. So it's kind of ironic. People hear that for me, they're like, no, no, that doesn't make any sense. Like, no, it's true. I was a scared, insecure kid. That's what I was for a long time. And. And that's really where my resilience began to be developed. And a lot of that's the result of being put out into a world of suffering and getting your ass kicked, sometimes physically or just figuratively, and then coming back into an environment fostered by both my parents of love and compassion, where they gave me guidance, but they didn't overly protect me. They didn't create this, like, force field around me. They gave me some mentorship and they shoved me right back into the game. It was. When you do that back and forth, like conditioning with anything.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

That starts to build. It wasn't something that I really recognized I had in me as part of my character and personality traits until I got into the military and started operating as a Green Beret. And then I was building upon. Upon a foundation that was really already there. I just didn't really know about it. Right.

[Sean]

Because you're witnessing a lot of people dropping out. You're still hanging in there. So you, you, you probably thought you were different then.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. At that point it starts to mean, like, maybe, maybe I do have something here. Maybe that. Maybe this is a good fit for Me because of, you know, X, Y and Z. Yeah.

[Sean]

Why were you moving around so much growing up?

[Nick Lavery]

My parents struggled financially, you know, and they were just in the grind. Two young parents. My father had me. He was 20.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

My mother was 21. You know, so they're a couple kids. And now the parents of two kids and trying to do. Or doing what it took to keep food on the table and keep roof over our head, kind of bouncing from job to job while also trying to find their purpose in life and their passion and like, balancing those two things, which is a really hard thing to do when you got little humans that are looking at you for their survival. So a combination of both those things. And so, yeah, it was a struggle, but I look back now with just an enormous amount of gratitude for having grown up like that. Yeah. Not only within those conditions, but having two amazing human beings that. That cared for me enough.

[Sean]

I love it. There's a common theme with a lot of successful people. I notice they have a traumatic childhood.

[Nick Lavery]

Right.

[Sean]

It seems to be like kind of. I don't know. I wouldn't say recipe, but like, there's a common theme there.

[Nick Lavery]

You see it within special operations community, you see it within the intelligence communities. You see it within a lot of different genres of organizations. And the way oftentimes it's quoted is, and this is by. By professionals, by doctors, will say you're looking for the person with the right amount of trauma. And of course, that's a subjective. That you can't put a number to it.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

But a person that has experienced the right amount of trauma, because too much can be a problem. Right. And not enough. So you're looking for someone that's somewhere in that kind of mythical sweet spot of having experienced trauma. Growing up as a young person is a theme and. Or part of that recipe that can create a high performer.

[Sean]

Yeah. Too much, you could shut down. Right?

[Nick Lavery]

Sure.

[Sean]

Or give up. Right. Was that ever something you thought about giving up?

[Nick Lavery]

Completely thought about it, yeah.

[Sean]

Really?

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. Yeah. For sure.

[Sean]

What point in your life?

[Nick Lavery]

Oh, man, I could probably. I could probably think of just off the top of my head, you know, dozens that come to mind. But certainly going through special forces selection and assessment, like that first phase of, let's see if you have what it takes to prove you have a foundation to then be turned into a green beret. I mean, that course is designed to beat you down to a pulp. Wow. And that even someone like me that went into that with the highest degree of confidence, I mean, ready to annihilate that course. There were multiple points during that 14 days where I was like, hey man, maybe, maybe you don't have what it takes.

[Sean]

Damn, it's 14 days.

[Nick Lavery]

Back then when I went through was 14 days. Now it's 21.

[Sean]

Holy crap.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. So it's a. I mean it's an ass kickoff. And I don't care how tough you are or how dedicated you are, you are going to reach a crossroads during that experience where you start to second guess yourself. Maybe I bit off more than I can chew. Maybe I didn't train. All of these reasons are going to start to sound really convincing. In those moments of weakness when you are absolutely beaten to and you have to make that choice, am I going to stay on target? Am I going to keep moving forward regardless? Or am I going to take the soft spot to land?

[Sean]

All right. And are you open with your other people that were with you? Were you talking about how tough this was or were you just keeping it inside during selection?

[Nick Lavery]

It's, it's pretty much a one man show. I mean, there are times when you're working as a team, but it's not the type of experience where you're sitting around a campfire with your buddies talking about, you know, how close were you to quitting today? I mean, everyone's kind of just gets into that almost robot mentality and you're just in that grind basically 24 hours a day for the duration of the experience. So you keep most of that shit to yourself.

[Sean]

Holy crap. I thought it was like hell week where you're with like 100 people and they just keep dropping out. So you're, you're kind of on your own for a lot of it.

[Nick Lavery]

You're on your own for a lot of it. Selection is an individual evolution. But there are specific points in time during that phase where you are put into small groups and expected to work as a team.

[Sean]

Got it. And it's just guys you don't even know. It's just random people.

[Nick Lavery]

Mostly guys you. Yeah. You don't know.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah.

[Sean]

So I wonder what percentage of people made it through that. That sounds really intense.

[Nick Lavery]

At the time that I went through selection and the qualification course, the graduation rate, meaning the guy that started on day one of selection and then the guy that eventually earned his green beret was around 9%. Damn. Is the percentage of those that actually made it.

[Sean]

That's crazy. That might be the lowest of any branch to get into. Right?

[Nick Lavery]

They're all pretty low, man. I mean all, all the different, all the different Special operations units, there's some different aspects of their selection processes and then follow on training, but the attrition rate for most is, is pretty, is pretty high.

[Sean]

What drew you to the Green Beret branch specifically?

[Nick Lavery]

Really a couple of things. One is, after graduating college, I knew I was going to enlist and I knew I wanted to go in Special Operations. And after meeting with multiple recruiters from different branches, I decided to go the route of the army to become a Green Beret. And they offer what's known as an 18x ray contract option, which gives guys off the street the chance to bypass serving in the conventional army and going straight into the Special Forces pipeline. So it was the speed in which I could get to the tip of the spear that I really needed to get to that enticed me. But then also once I started doing a little bit of research into what the Green Berets do, because I really hadn't a clue and I'd seen John Rambo and John Wayne, but like, I really didn't know, I started to research what do SF teams do? And our primary mission set that being unconventional warfare. When you start to unpack that a little bit, it was, I was enticed by that. So it was the mission and the speed in which I could get to the mission.

[Sean]

Got it. So you guys are mainly undercover, like secretive missions, Is that how it works?

[Nick Lavery]

No, that's a common kind of misconception. Now there are times really within any special operations unit where you will be asked and forced to operate in a low visibility type environment. Green Berets are built specifically to work with and through indigenous personnel. And those are the two keywords. As the differentiator of Green Berets and the other special operations units is we are designed to work with and through others, meaning that we need to be ass kickers ourselves. You take a 12 man team, they need to be highly capable of going on target, kicking down doors, shooting bad guys in the face, doing all the movie guy stuff. Right. But what really makes us successful is our ability to advise, influence, teach these different skills in a foreign language to others to enable and empower them to go do the things that we need them to be able to do.

[Sean]

Got it. What's going through your head on that first mission where you get sent out?

[Nick Lavery]

Oh man. Drinking from a fire hose, really? Yeah, it's. It's overwhelming to a degree. You know when you kind of have this vision of what it's going to look like when you finally get into Afghanistan. In my case, my first deployment and Some of that comes to fruition, but there's also just an overwhelming amount of variables that you were not anticipating that are being thrown at you. So you rely on your teammates, your seniors, your leadership, those that have been there and done that a bunch of times. And they're there to guide you and mentor you through the things that you need to do. So it was, it was amazing. It was challenging. And it was in that moment on that first time over there that I fell in love with this business. Whoa. My intention, Sean, was to come into this lifestyle, serve the minimum contract possible, four years, right? It was going to be five for me.

[Sean]

Okay?

[Nick Lavery]

Five year contract, get to the tip of the spear, kick some ass, get some payback for 911, and then get out of the army and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life. That was the plan. And when I got over there for the first time and I actually started doing the work, everything shifted for me. Well, I was like, whoa. I. Not only do I not want to do anything else, but I can't even imagine doing anything else. And that's where the, the whole game changed. It was no longer a job. It was no longer this lily pad to kind of jump off to the next thing. It not only became a profession for me, but it became a lifestyle.

[Sean]

Wow. She felt really aligned with, with your purpose.

[Nick Lavery]

100.

[Sean]

That's interesting because I would have thought like, you'd be nervous, you'd be scared that first mission, but plenty of that.

[Nick Lavery]

As well going on. I mean, it's an emotional roller coaster, you know, and, you know, and I'm glad you bring up scared because it's something I really love to talk about you. You know, it's very easy to look at special operations personnel, SEALs ranges, Green Beret, you know, Delta Force. Choose, choose your unit. That we are these. Emotionless, fearless, heartless, perhaps.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

Instruments of death, like robots. And that's, that's completely and totally inaccurate. Completely inaccurate. Fear is part of being a human being, you know, period. What makes special operators unique is the ability to control those emotions. You don't get rid of them. They're. They're present, but it's your ability to regulate them, to take them at times. Recognize the emotion you're experiencing, compartment it in order to make logical decisions.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

So was I scared? Absolutely. That were. There were moments of fear, 100%. But through training and repetition and guidance from those around me, you learn over time how to take those in and then still be able to operate with objectivity and with logical decision making.

[Sean]

Right?

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah.

[Sean]

I'm glad you put it that way. Because you can't fight your emotions. I mean, they're there. Can't just put them to the side.

[Nick Lavery]

You certainly cannot get rid of them. And I think any attempt to do so, you will fail and then you will become incredibly frustrated about it.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

So I think the sooner we can recognize that the same exact thing that makes us the dominant species on this planet, that being that we are creatures of emotion, is also the same thing that opens up a massive vulnerability to us. Sooner we can recognize that and that you're not going to get rid of them, the sooner we can stop, move to, moving towards. I. Well, how can I train my mind to be able to control them? Not going to get rid of it, but I'm going to learn how to.

[Sean]

Control it, which is super important in business too.

[Nick Lavery]

Absolutely.

[Sean]

I've seen a lot of deals get lost over uncontrolled emotions.

[Nick Lavery]

Business in your personal life, with your spouse, with your kids. I mean, I got two young boys.

[Sean]

Yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

My oldest is seven. My youngest is three. They're animals, savages. And the absolute highlight of my life, they're an amazing lot of me. If, if you don't learn that at some point the ability to control your emotions around your children, man, you're gonna have a real hard time. And odds are you're going to be developing and influencing some people into some directions that you don't want them to go in.

[Sean]

Right. Because a lot of parents take out their emotions on their children. Right. Whether it's anger or sadness, whatever it is, for sure. And that could traumatize the children 100. And they don't even realize they're doing it.

[Nick Lavery]

And the kids, kids in general, whether they're yours or anyone else's, are more so influenced by the actions that they see rather than what they're being told. So it's one thing for me to tell my son, like, don't do this or do that or whatever. It's something entirely different and more powerful for him to witness me living those ethos myself through implementation. That's what he's really absorbing.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

So if I'm flying off the handles every time something bothers me, whether that's anger or rage or sadness, or choose your emotional extreme, certainly the negative ones, then it is without question something that that young mind is going to begin to replicate repeatedly, over and over and over again. And now you're creating another human or influencing other human who also lacks emotional control. And that's a Very slippery slope to be on.

[Sean]

Absolutely. So you were married during your deployments?

[Nick Lavery]

My wife and I got married after my, I think, fourth deployment. My wife, my now wife, she was in Afghanistan with me. She's also active duty army as well.

[Sean]

Okay.

[Nick Lavery]

So she was deployed into Afghanistan on the deployment when I got wounded. So she had a front row seat to this entire thing. And at that time, we were really just really close friends, and her and I could both tell that there was something maybe more meaningful there. We had known each other for like a decade.

[Sean]

Damn.

[Nick Lavery]

We were in two locations. We weren't physically at the same spot, but we were relying on each other as a means of emotional support.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

She's doing her thing and I'm doing my thing. So she had a front row seat to the whole thing. I mean, so she was literally right along my side from the very beginning. And then also through the entire recovery process and everything like that. And you want to talk about starting a relationship at your absolute lowest point, that's where I was.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

And not only was she supportive, she was an enormous asset to me. So that is where things really started to foster. And then we got married after that.

[Sean]

That's beautiful.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah, man. Wow.

[Sean]

Yeah. Talk to us about that injury, man. That was a life changing moment for you.

[Nick Lavery]

It was, yeah. Also a blessing in a lot of ways.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. Also a blessing in a lot of ways. You know, the short version, Sean is on the tail end of our deployment. We were set to be there for six months. We had been there about five and a half again, Green berets work with and through.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

So on this particular day, me, my 11 teammates, and a handful of other service members are getting ready to go on target with about 180 partner force personnel. And prior to that operation, a member of the Afghan national police force, a guy that we've been working with for months, climbed up on the back of a Ford Ranger pickup truck that had a mounted pkm belt fed machine gun attached to it and opened fire to me and my friends from about 30ft away. Geez. It's considered the largest, most catastrophic insider attack that we know of during the global war on terrorism. Whoa. Or 12 u. S. Casualties, three of which were killed. Me another eight varying degrees of wounded. And you can probably assume where most of the damage to me was. My right leg was basically vaporized.

[Sean]

Holy crap.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah.

[Sean]

That's insane. And you don't know why he's. He flipped or was he always undercover?

[Nick Lavery]

No, I do know why he flipped. And in fact, when that Became made aware. To me, it was. It was another massive moment for me, really. I didn't find out till about a month or so after I'd been wounded, where my rest of my teammates eventually made it back stateside. And then they came to visit me at Walter Reed, where I was going through my recovery. And they told me what happened, and they said, here was. Here's the situation. About a couple weeks prior, nine Taliban fighters bombed into this guy's house in the middle of the night. Nine guys with guns. This dude was a husband and a father of, like, seven kids.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

And these Taliban fighters walk into his house, and they say, hey, man, here's the deal. You got two options. Option A is you do this attack for us. Option B is, we brutalized your entire family right now in front of you. When I say brutalize, I'm talking next level medieval. Brutalize your entire family right now in front of you. And then we slaughter them, and then we slaughter you. Either way, in this equation, you're dead. But if you choose option A, we will ensure your family is taken care of. And what made this tactic successful was that they would actually follow through on that and they would take care of those families. So they had done this repeatedly, and they built up a degree of credibility over the years having done this.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

So this dude is put into a really difficult position we want to talk about. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. And although I didn't have the family I have now, then I could still empathize with this guy. And being put in that position with no practical way to really fight back. Right? You have to decide this right now. What's it going to be, dude? I would do anything to protect my family.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

And if I'm putting that position today with no practical means of fighting back, in that moment, I'm doing the exact same thing that this guy did.

[Sean]

Wow.

[Nick Lavery]

Period.

[Sean]

What a statement.

[Nick Lavery]

So when my teammates informed me of some of the backstory behind how and why, it allowed me to release a lot of this anger and rage that I had pent up this. This sense of betrayal. Like, I have been working alongside you.

[Sean]

Because he was a friend to you, right?

[Nick Lavery]

I wouldn't say friend, but he was someone that we. We worked. We worked with.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

I mean, I taught him how to use the gun that he shot me and my friends with. Oh, wow. So that sense of betrayal is quite powerful.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

And when my teammates told me what the deal was, it was like, you know, man, I get it. And no hot feelings. Damn. And it Just allowed me to just release that and then focus on business.

[Sean]

That's crazy. Did your team take that guy out?

[Nick Lavery]

Oh, yeah. He was killed within about nine or ten seconds. Wow.

[Sean]

I wonder if his family survived.

[Nick Lavery]

It's a good question.

[Sean]

Damn, that's crazy, man. And you decided to come back after all that?

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah, yeah. And you use the word decide. And that's a fair way to. To say it, because it's true. But I can tell you, man, when I was in the intensive care unit, I saw this very simply. I had two options. Option A was roll over and die. Option B was going back to doing what you do. At that point in my life, Sean, being a Green Beret and being a professional warrior and a war fighter service provider was not what I did. It was literally who I was. Now, that has changed for me since back then, we're talking 11 years ago.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

Right. I'm not married. I have no kids. It's a. It's a different version of me then. But at. Back then, that was who I was. I was put on this planet to do one thing, and it was that. So it was either roll over and die or go back to doing what you do. That was it. So I saw it as a very simple decision to make. It was one I was able to make almost immediately. I, of course, didn't have a clue as to how I would do that, but I knew exactly what I was going to do.

[Sean]

Right. Because the legs weren't around back then, right?

[Nick Lavery]

The what?

[Sean]

Like the legs. The metal legs you have now, the prosthetics?

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah, no, they were around.

[Sean]

Oh, they were, yeah.

[Nick Lavery]

Actually, the. The leg I'm wearing right now is very similar to the very first one that I was given when I was at WALTER Reed now 11, 12 years ago.

[Sean]

Oh, okay.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah.

[Sean]

So you. They gave that to you, and you were able to walk on it right away?

[Nick Lavery]

No, not right away, man. I mean, it took. It took months. Yeah, it took months of, like, basic rehab just to be able to get upright out of a bed. I ended up needing about 40 surgeries on my right leg as they were battling this infection that had set in. So they were just incrementally amputating it piece by piece.

[Sean]

Oh, my gosh.

[Nick Lavery]

Sometimes three, four times a week, I would go to sleep. Sleep. I'd wake up, I'd have a little less leg, and just rinse and Repeat that about 37, 38, 40 times. Whoa. So eventually they get the infection under control. Right. And now it's all right. Let's just get your. Your general recovery stuff going. Eventually, yeah, you meet with a prosthetist, you start getting fitted for this robot leg. You have no idea how this is going to work. And you kind of navigate through that, you know, very awkwardly. And it's. It's a clumsy progression. So it took months. And, you know, of course it's really hard, but, yeah, like anything else, with enough reps, you can. You can figure it out.

[Sean]

Damn, that's crazy. I thought they just took off the leg in one surgery, but 30 is holy, dude.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah, it's quite a bit.

[Sean]

That is crazy, man. But then you started. How long between then and the business did. Did that transition take between that and.

[Nick Lavery]

Me getting back into, like, starting.

[Sean]

Starting your business?

[Nick Lavery]

Oh, my business, yeah. Oh, man. So, well, this all initially happened. This was in 2013, and then eventually I get back to the teams and, you know, I'm just living the life of a. Of a. Of a typical. I say typical. Obviously there's like, something pretty different about me, but I'm just a team guy with a job to do. So I'm deploying and I'm just training and I'm doing my thing. The idea of. Of starting my own business really didn't happen until 2020.

[Sean]

Oh, it's a while.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah, it was a while. I was just. I was living the. Living the team guy life and that's all I wanted to do. And I was. I was back to doing it. And that was my complete and total 100% professional focus was on that. The idea of kind of stopping my own thing on the side didn't happen for years. Got it.

[Sean]

Got it. You tweeted out that discomfort is the gatekeeper to destiny.

[Nick Lavery]

I probably did. That sounds like something I would say.

[Sean]

That's a deep call, man. I love to dive into that.

[Nick Lavery]

Yeah. I mean, in my opinion, struggle is a requirement for growth. It is something that we are going to experience physically, professionally, socially. At times. I have another expression I like to throw around, which is the size of the struggle is commensurate with the size of the goal. As much as we would like to have this massive goal with this huge win and the journey to get there, being without discomfort and without suffering is almost certainly never going to happen. Right. There are those, like, unicorn experiences that are the exception to the rule. You win the mega lotteries and overnight you're a multi billionaire. Right. That's the exception to the rule. The rule is you must suffer and to what degree you are willing to struggle and the amount of discomfort you're willing to put yourself through is going to be directly correlated with the size of the victory at the end of that game. Wow.

[Sean]

I love that way of thinking. Because people like you said they want this massive success, right? Whether it's financially, health or whatever, but they don't realize what it takes.

[Nick Lavery]

No, I mean, not only do very few realize what it takes, very few realize, in my opinion, the amount of capability and capacity is within them right now. Like many think that they're operating at like 90%. Like I'm, I'm right, I'm pushing it almost to the absolute extreme. When in reality I'd say it's probably closer to like 50.

[Sean]

Really.

[Nick Lavery]

Like you barely know how much you have inside you right now. There may have been moments where you've gotten a glimpse of it. Most people barely know a fraction of what they're truly capable of. And I can tell you, I use me as an example, man. As a two legged guy, Sean, I have a lot of accomplishments that I'm proud of. Plenty. I played football in college. I was, I got selected to be a Green Beret. I was the undergraduate of my qualification course. A lot of these accolades as a two legged guy. To do those things took a lot of hard work and discipline and resilience and consistency and all these things. It wasn't until I was met with this traumatic event of losing my leg, setting my sights on doing something that was seemingly impossible, and then begin moving towards that with this ferocious obsession of having to make it, that I realized I had an entire another level, multiple additional levels within me already to tap into in order to stop making something like that real. And it's not like when I was in the hospital at Walter Reed, some like mad scientist showed up and rammed a metal spike into the back of my head and uploaded another degree of work ethic or discipline or resilience or mental toughness.

[Sean]

Right?

[Nick Lavery]

It was literally there the entire time. It just took a obsession to do something. And that being something that was really difficult to accomplish.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

You couple those two things together and you find out you've got not only another gear to shift into, but probably multiple.

[Sean]

Dude, I agree 100%. 50% is, is pretty low, I'd say, but I could see it. I thought, I thought it was more like 60, 70, but I'm sure some people are at 50.

[Nick Lavery]

I'm sure some numbers are out there with some like compelling case studies that could actually put a number on it. But what I can say with a degree of certainty is that most think that they're at a higher capacity than they really are.

[Sean]

Right.

[Nick Lavery]

And that's been my next mission in life with this book and with my business, is to help people not only recognize it, but then provide them with some tools. Better start tapping into it. Absolutely.

[Sean]

Is this book on audible?

[Nick Lavery]

It is.

[Sean]

Nice.

[Nick Lavery]

I'll tell you right now, if this voice bothers you, you're not going to want to listen to it because this is the guy that narrates.

[Sean]

Oh, I love when authors do that, dude. Yeah, yeah, it means a lot. It's way more purpose driven when the actual author reads it.

[Nick Lavery]

I think so.

[Sean]

You know what I mean, Nick, where can people find you, man? Where people check out the book.

[Nick Lavery]

The One Stop Shop is our website. It's team machine.com machine is mchn. It's got links to the socials and the books and to the merchandise and to our training offerings and all the things.

[Sean]

All right, first we'll link below. Thanks for watching, guys. Thanks for calling out. Coming on, Nick.

[Nick Lavery]

Appreciate it.

[Sean]

Y See you guys tomorrow.

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