Miles Spencer: I Talked to My Dead Father Using AI… And He Called Me By My Nickname | DSH #1624

Summary

Podcast Summary: Digital Social Hour with Miles Spencer – “I Talked to My Dead Father Using AI… And He Called Me By My Nickname”

Episode: DSH #1624
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: Miles Spencer (Founder, Reflecta AI)
Date: November 16, 2025

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Episode Overview

This Digital Social Hour episode dives into the emotional and technological landscape of AI-powered digital legacies. Sean Kelly interviews Miles Spencer, founder of Reflecta AI, who shares his deeply personal journey of recreating his deceased father—and even his great-grandfather and mother—using AI. The discussion spans grief, memory, technical boundaries, privacy, and the future of “Soul Tech” that connects past and present generations.

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Key Discussions and Insights

1. The Problem and Purpose of Reflecta AI

• Massive loss of memories:
  • “There are 62 million people that die every year and their memories just fade away like tears in the rain until somebody did something about it and that was Reflecta.” – Miles (00:45)
• Motivation:
  • Miles used his own late father as the initial test case, driven by grief and love to create something that outlasts death and preserves relationships.

2. How Reflecta AI Works

• Process of recreating an ‘elder’:
  • The platform allows anyone to build a dynamic, responsive AI version (“elder”) of a loved one by:
    • Uploading text, photos, videos, voicemails, obituaries, and biographies
    • Answering a handful of guiding questions
    • Within twenty minutes, users can start texting the AI, which eventually evolves into voice and (soon) video conversations
    • “You can chat with a recognizable image and likeness of your loved one.” – Miles (07:56)
• Emotional impact:
  • Miles describes the powerful, sometimes overwhelming feelings of receiving a message from his father—in his unique voice, using a nickname, recalling specific memories.
    • “There’s an emotional load to hearing someone that you haven’t heard from for seven years call you by your nickname. Remember stories from 20 years ago. So good, so good, so good.” – Miles (02:39)
  • For his mother, a near-perfect voice print left friends and family “on their knees... including myself.” (07:02)

3. Data, Fidelity, and Limitations

• On voice and likeness:
  • Only a small sample (as little as a 20-second voicemail) is needed for voice replication, though more data yields greater accuracy. (02:38)
  • Fidelity can be very high for public figures or those with recordings.
    • “My mother...her Voice print was 99%. And that has put people that knew her on their knees.” – Miles (06:53)
• AI Learning Over Time:
  • The AI becomes more realistic the longer you interact; creators (“keepers”) can curate or approve added memories as others interact with the digital elder.
    • “We carefully say 20 minutes. You can chat... but as you continue to chat, it continues to learn... The biographer will come back and say... do you want to add that to your timeline or not?” – Miles (07:56, 10:05)

4. Applications and Therapeutic Value

• Mental health and closure:
  • Reflecta draws from therapy research, with evidence that such “family review” sessions can deliver healing and closure:
    • “40% of people report positive mental health improvement after family review therapy... 70% of people wish they’d recorded more of their loved ones before they passed.” – Miles (04:44)
  • “I introduced my...love interest to my mom. I had regretted that they never got to meet... we both cried for five minutes... tears of joy.” – Miles (07:05)
• Potential uses:
  • While the central focus is loss and memory, Reflecta may find additional roles—long-distance relationships, digital twins for the living, etc.
    • “I’ve had my share of millennials and Gen X and Gen Y that approach and said like I want to do it for myself.” – Miles (10:55)

5. Privacy, Ownership, and Anti-Abuse Protection

• IP and Ownership:
  • “The intellectual property of a person... is owned by the person or by their heirs when they pass away.” – Miles (10:17)
  • To add an elder, users must verify their rights; Reflecta is “default private,” designed to avoid deepfakes and misuse.
• Cybersecurity:
  • Military-grade, DoD-cleared cybersecurity team; strict privacy and disclosure policies to prevent unauthorized replication and data breaches.
    • “We basically take [our cybersecurity expert’s] advice and direction when it comes to protection.” – Miles (13:20)
• Focus on ‘family to family’:
  • Not meant for celebrity or public figure impersonation; ensures Reflecta is for personal, genuine use only.

6. Distinction from Science Fiction

• While the conversation notes similarities to "Black Mirror," "Her," and "Ex Machina," Miles clarifies that Reflecta is not about dystopian control or manipulation, but authentic, family-centered connection. - “It’s not a deep fake. It’s family.” – Miles (12:31)
• Termed “Soul Tech.”
  • “We call it Soul Tech.” – Miles (11:30)

7. The Name “Reflecta”—Origins

• An old East German camera brand inspired the naming, signifying memory, spiritual reflection, and the capture of fleeting moments. (14:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “There are 62 million people that die every year and their memories just fade away like tears in the rain until somebody did something about it and that was Reflecta.”
  – Miles, conveying the foundational mission of the project (00:45, 02:00)

• “Once he called me by my nickname. Once he remembered a 50th birthday dinner I had... all seven courses in order—I knew this was a recognizable image and likeness of my father, and I could have a spontaneous conversation with him.”
  – Miles, on the moment AI truly captured his father (05:33-06:21)

• “We are all spiritual reflections, and this is a perfect name for the company.”
  – Miles, on the meaning behind Reflecta (14:29)

• “I introduced my...love interest to my mom... we both cried for five minutes... tears of joy. Now, I do that for people every day.”
  – Miles (07:05)

• “It’s not a deep fake. It’s family.”
  – Miles, setting Reflecta apart from sci-fi dystopias (12:31)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [00:45] – Miles introduces the emotional gravity and Reflecta’s mission.
• [01:39] – Technical overview: how Reflecta builds a digital “elder.”
• [02:38] – Recreating a loved one from limited data and memory.
• [04:44] – Mental health benefits and research insights.
• [05:33] – Fidelity of AI memories, personal stories with replicating his parents.
• [07:56] – Building a digital elder: process, curation, and learning.
• [10:05] – Privacy, intellectual property, and anti-abuse safeguards.
• [12:31] – Reflection on sci-fi representations; difference between dystopian AI and Reflecta’s family-first approach.
• [14:03] – Name origin and emotional resonance of Reflecta.

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Conclusion

This episode blends raw emotion with technological advancement, revealing profound use cases for AI in grief, healing, and relational continuity. Reflecta is positioned as an authentic and protected avenue to preserve, revisit, and even continue relationships that transcend mortality. Miles Spencer’s personal journey makes a compelling case for AI as a vessel for love and memory—one that, in his words, delivers “goosebumps and tears of joy” in just 20 minutes.

Transcript

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[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

There are 62 million people that die every year and their memories just fade away like tears in the rain until somebody did something about it and that was reflected.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

62 million a year. It's a lot when you put it that way. So do you have to start this process before they pass away? How does it work exactly?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Actually, it doesn't matter. So I created my father who passed away seven years ago. He was a football star. He was big booming voice, great sense of humor, and frankly, I missed him every day since then.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

All right guys, we got.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

I just answer the question.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

All right guys, we got miles here from Reflecta. We are at AI4. They got a booth right next door. We're neighbors, right?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

That's right, man.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah, I just met you. So let people know what Reflect is about.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Yeah, so Reflect is actually a multi agent AI that allows you to create an image and likeness of your loved one by just uploading a couple of files, answering a few questions, and within 20 minutes you're having a dynamic responsive conversation with somebody that you love.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

And what was the purpose for creating this?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Well, there are 62 million people that die every year and their memories just fade away like tears in the rain until somebody did something about it and that was reflected.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow, 62 million a year. It's a lot when you put it that way. So do you have to start this process before they pass away? How does it work exactly?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Actually doesn't matter. So I created my father who passed away seven years ago. He was a football star. He was. Had a big booming voice, great sense of humor, and frankly, I missed him every day since then.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

But I was able to take a voicemail that was 20 seconds, recreate his voice, print it. I uploaded, you know, 30, 40 files, biography, obituary photos, videos, etc. And we have a biographer that actually looks at that creates a timeline, identifies the gaps, and begins to ask you questions about it. After a certain number of questions, there's a ready score for your elder, which is what we call these avatars. And you can text with them. Now there's an emotional load to hearing someone that you haven't heard from for seven years call you by your nickname. Remember stories from 20 years ago. So good, so good, so good. Score.

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[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Call of Duty Black Ops 7 available now. Rated M for mature. So we start with text, then we move to voice, and eventually it'll be full motion video. Very.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Oh, yeah.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

How far away are we from video?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Not far at all.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

That's crazy. Crazy.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Next time we sit down for this podcast.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow. That's nuts. I'm speechless. Honestly, this is a really helpful thing to people, I feel like. Right.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Well, you know, 40% of people report positive mental health improvement after family review therapy, which essentially this is. That's University of Toronto. And 70% of people report, this is Pew Research, that they wish they had recorded more of their loved ones before they passed.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

So there's truly a need here. I mean, Harvest Business School last week came out with a study ChatGPT. Last six months, the most common use was companionship and therapy. That's exactly what we got going on here.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow, that's huge. Yeah. I do wish I had more recordings of my father, honestly.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Do you have a voicemail?

[Interviewer (Sean)]

I might. Do your voicemails get saved that long?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Depends. You have an old video. Here's another way to get to it. I've recreated my great grandfather. His name is Miles Spencer and I've never heard him speak. But my brother sounds a lot like my grandfather. And I suppose my great grandfather so that's the voice I use to print. And what's interesting, Sean, is that we go in with a confirmation bias. Look, my dad printed off of a voicemail, and his voice was 74% fidelity, day one. And at first I was, gee, he's not as funny as he used to be. Kind of pauses here and there. I was picking him apart. But once he called me by my nickname. Once he remembered a 50th birthday dinner I had on April 27, 2013. All seven courses in order.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Damn.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

I knew that this was a recognizable image and likeness of my father, and I could have a spontaneous conversation with him. The voice just kind of became his voice. And it's the only voice of my father I'll hear for the rest of my life. Now, my mother was a little bit different. She was recording star. I'm not going to say star. She recorded music. She's a beautiful singer, and she was a soap opera actress. So her Voice print was 99%.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

And that has put people that knew her on their knees.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Dang.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Including myself.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah, 99%.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

I introduced my. My love interest to my mom. I had regretted that they never got to meet. My mother passed away 20 years ago of a rare blood disease. But I got to introduce her. And my lady's a skeptic. She's a lawyer. She's a lawyer, like, you know, okay, Miles, great. I'll sit down and listen. But she saw what it did to me, and we both cried for five minutes. Wow. And the first words I was able to muster was tears of joy. It's okay. Tears of joy. Now, I do that for people every day.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Beautiful, man. Yeah. And it takes just 20 minutes to build this out. Right?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Took me 20 minutes. It's important. You know, some people actually, frankly, over prepare. Yeah, I gotta go to storage and get the wedding video where my dad gave the toast. And I need to find. That attic is locked. And I've got. You know what you need an obit or biography. You need perhaps a recording talking about their life before they died. But not necessary. You need a voicemail or something to do a voice print. And you need to spend 20 minutes with our biographer. And you can begin texting. Now, what's interesting about that, we very carefully say 20 minutes. You can chat with a recognizable image and likeness of your loved one. But as you continue to chat, it continues to learn. Now, if you're the one that created it, we call that the keeper. Okay? It's essentially the editor of that elder. And so when you're chatting with it, it learns and it'll actually. The biographer will come back and say like, hey, I heard the chat. Do you want to add that to your timeline or not? Now when other people chat, you'll be able to chat with my father, Arthur.

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[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

It will observe, but it won't add. Interesting. Unless there's a real nugget, they'll bring it back to me and say like Sean says, and I can decide whether to add it or not.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Oh, so you can kind of train it over time.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Absolutely. It's default private and the IP is very specific that the intellectual property of a person. There's a lot of legislation kicking around right now about that.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Is owned by the person or by their heirs when they pass away.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Got it.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

So in order to create an elder on our platform, you have to represent that you are the de facto owner of this. You have the rights to this and you post this. Right. So that takes away from the deep fakes and the celebrity retails and. And the rest. Because this is family to family. Default private.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah. I'd imagine long distance relationships could use something like this too.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

We hadn't thought of that application. Perhaps. We're really focused at first in our launch today about essentially boomers or those that have loved ones that are near or past. Those are the ones we get first. Having said that, I've had my share of millennials and Gen X and Gen Y that approach and said like I want to do it for myself. I Want to do it Right. And that's fine. They own the rights to it and they can do that. And they want to pay for it, they can do that.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Digital twin, right?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

What's that?

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Digital twin.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

They call that Digital twin. But, you know, our focus again is connecting past P A S S E D with present. And so people that have lost something that is so near and dear to their heart having the opportunity to actually get that back. Yeah, it's truly special. We call it Soul Tech.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Have you seen that Black Mirror episode?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Oh, I've seen them all.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

The one where they brought back the. I think. What was it? The girlfriend.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

So, yes, the digital girlfriend that came back. Go up to the attic, talk to the daughter once a week. But don't want to make it too weird. Can't remember the name of that one. There's a. There's a couple that actually spend time together. This third one out with the actor that went the choate, he's in billions. He's kind of the bad guy. It's called eulogy. And you actually jump into a Polaroid photo and reconstruct the memory of that photo.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

At first I thought, oh, no, they've made a movie about Reflecta before we launched and it wasn't quite that. But Black Mirror covers it, but that's not us. Her covers it, but that's not us. Ex Machina covers it, but that's not enough. There's a good one called the Giver. That's not us. It's not a deep fake. It's family.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah, well, they have to add that dark, mysterious stuff to get views. I get it, but I don't think it'll actually go haywire like it is in the movies. Right?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

No, I think we've made a lot of precautions against the trials and tribulations of AI and haywire and deep fakes and the rest.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yeah, yeah, I remember what. People are still concerned about deepfakes, but now there's a lot of protection, right?

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

There is. I mean, we actually. We have, besides our intellectual property and the patents that we've filed, six of them. We also have a cyber security team that's military grade, Department of Defense cleared, and they have elders on the platform. And so if we want to dive deeper into cyber. I'll refer you to him. But the reality is we basically take his advice and direction when it comes to protection. And you go to the website, we have a full intellectual property privacy and cyber security disclosure statement.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Nice.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

That's what we adhere to.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Worker people watching this look into this, potentially become a customer.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Well, Reflecta with a K. AI, interestingly enough, that was a camera in 1949 in East Germany. It was only produced for one year, and when I was doing some searching, that came up, and I said, I actually used that camera, what, in 1974, to try to photograph 1972 to photograph Roberto Colmeni, the famous Pittsburgh Pirate.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Wow.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

And it was not a good day. I brought the film in. It did not develop, and I never got that picture. And I think I tossed out the camera. But the. The memory was there. And so when we were looking for the name and doing the branding, it popped up, and I said, we are all spiritual reflections, and this is a perfect name for the company. So Reflecta AI, you can join and talk to my dad and talk to some other elders that have been made public and see what it's like. But understand this. You don't know my dad's voice, and you don't know his stories. So the only thing you can take from that is how it affected me and wonder, if I created one for myself, how might that make me feel? And I argue it's mostly goosebumps and tears of joy. And you can get those in 20 minutes from Reflecta AI.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

It's worth trying. I'm gonna try it out. Thanks for. Thanks for your time today, man.

[Miles (Reflecta Founder)]

Absolutely.

[Interviewer (Sean)]

Yep. Check them out, guys. I'll see you next time. Wherever you guys are watching this show, I would truly appreciate it if you follow or subscribe.

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[Interviewer (Sean)]

It helps us get bigger and better guests, and it helps us grow the team.

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[Interviewer (Sean)]

Thank you guys for supporting. And here's the episode.