Digital Social Hour - Episode Summary

Episode Overview

Title: MJ Renshaw: Breathe to Heal: Breathwork, Emotions & Real Connection with MJ | DSH #1515
Host: Sean Kelly
Guest: MJ Renshaw
Release Date: August 30, 2025

Sean Kelly dives into a candid and deeply personal conversation with MJ Renshaw, breathwork facilitator and advocate, exploring the power of breathwork for healing, the impact of emotional suppression, and the critical importance of authentic connection in our lives. The episode traverses science, personal trauma, spirituality, and the entwined roles of body and mind in true well-being.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Power and Universality of Breathwork

• Breathwork as Built-in Medicine

  • MJ emphasizes that proper breathing practices can induce calm and healing, accessible to all without extra tools or supplements.
  • “There is no person on the planet who would breathe in a certain way, say in a parasympathetic style, who wouldn’t feel more calm afterwards.” (MJ, 00:48)

• Benefits Across Conditions

  • Studies show breathwork benefits conditions ranging from anxiety and depression to asthma and even addiction.
  • MJ discusses how mouth breathing and shallow breathing (done by ~95% of people) can contribute to disease and shortened lifespan. (02:19)

• Practical Breathing Advice

  • Nose breathing for six seconds in, six seconds out, is recommended for everyone.
  • “Mouth breathing is one of those things where it’s going to chronically dehydrate you... It’s going to ruin your oral microbiome, which we know can be linked to Alzheimer’s, heart disease.” (MJ, 03:03)

• Breath Holds and Functional Practices

  • Techniques like breath holds (holding after exhale or inhale) help boost CO₂ tolerance and emotional regulation.
  • Low CO₂ tolerance often correlates with chronic anxiety and trauma response.
  • “Most people have what’s called a low carbon dioxide intolerance, so they can’t hold their breath very long. That’s going to trigger your amygdala and make you feel fearful all the time.” (MJ, 04:24)

Trauma, Suppression, and Emotional Healing

• Personal Trauma and Breathwork’s Role

  • MJ openly shares childhood trauma, and how she spent nearly a decade unable to cry or access her emotions.
  • Breathwork became her entry point to truly feeling and processing grief, sadness, and anger.
  • “When you block out bad emotions... you’re actually also going to block out the good ones because you can’t selectively block. You’re either going to be shut down or not.” (MJ, 08:20)

• The Dangers of Emotional Suppression

  • MJ cites research: Emotional suppression increases risk for disease, comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
  • Suppressed emotions strongly correlate with increased risk of cancer, inflammation, and early mortality.
  • “Emotional suppression is statistically like smoking 15 cigarettes a day.” (MJ, 09:42)

• Healing Requires Feeling

  • Emotional intelligence and vulnerability are necessary for healthy relationships and longevity.
  • “You have to be emotionally available... If you have no emotional intelligence..., you’ll never have a deep relationship with anyone.” (MJ, 10:39)

Masculinity, Loneliness, and Social Disconnection

• The Male Loneliness Epidemic

  • Studies show two-thirds of young men (ages 19–23) say, “no one knows me,” with young white men being four times more likely to die by suicide.
  • “Emotional suppression. They don’t know how to feel the emotions that they have or connect with other people. It’s no fault of their own.” (MJ, 11:59)

• Societal Conditioning & Gendered Emotion

  • Stigma around male vulnerability and female anger persists, both causing harm and disease.
  • “If my brother cried, he was called gay... mostly men aren’t allowed to feel emotions.” (MJ, 12:13)
  • “Men aren’t allowed to feel sadness and women aren’t allowed to feel anger more.” (MJ, 40:57)

• Impact of Technology & AI

  • MJ and Sean reflect on how social media and emerging AI 'relationships' may deepen loneliness and detachment from real emotional connection. (12:32–13:03)

Science, Spirituality, and True Health

• Intersection of Science and Spirituality

  • MJ champions both scientific validation and spiritual exploration, arguing these domains are inherently compatible.
  • “We have the science, we have so much science on breath work. That’s a spiritual thing.” (MJ, 25:02)

• Skepticism Around Studies

  • The hosts discuss problems of scientific studies being influenced by funding, limited sample diversity (e.g., only studying men), and misleading headlines.
  • “There’s so much science... that’s come out as being false. It’s an ever growing process of being curious about the world.” (MJ, 25:38)

• Psycho-Neuro-Immunology

  • MJ introduces the field linking emotions, the brain, and immune system, noting that studies now find emotional connection is essential for survival.
  • “We as humans require emotional connection... in order to survive.” (MJ, 16:16)

• Wellness Beyond Biohacking

  • MJ emphasizes relationships, play, nature, and fun as more potent wellness factors than just regimented routines and tech.
  • “Sometimes it’s better to stay up late with friends, eat pizza, and laugh... That’s healthier than going to bed early, avoiding your friends, and waking up at 5am.” (MJ, 17:23)

Purpose, Success, and Living Authentically

• Redefining Success

  • Purpose, not achievement for its own sake, leads to lasting satisfaction and wellbeing.
  • “That’s the true meaning of success... If your wife divorced you, your kids hate you, you don’t have your health, what’s the point of all the money?” (MJ, 20:52)

• Healing, Boundaries, and Joy

  • MJ shares how setting boundaries, following her interests, and limiting work hours allowed for better health and deeper presence with her family.
  • “I work three mornings a week. That’s a hard shut off, big boundaries, and I want to be in my kids’ lives.” (MJ, 21:11)

Practical Pathways to Healing

• Breathwork, Therapy, and Self-Expression

  • MJ recommends breathwork, therapy, authentic expression (even starting with naming and telling someone your emotion), and connection with nature or animals.
  • “If you allow yourself to cry, it decreases greatly because crying actually is a form of detoxing. It Detoxes, cortisol. That’s why crying exists.” (MJ, 39:56)

• Animals and Nature as Healers

  • Connecting with animals or even hugging a tree can provide emotional comfort and health benefits when connecting with people feels unsafe.
  • “There are a lot of people who don’t want to connect to another person. That’s fine. Connect to an animal... Connect to a tree.” (MJ, 47:21)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Emotional Needs Across the Lifespan

  • “It’s weird that we think that as you get older [the need for emotional connection] just goes away because it doesn’t.” (MJ, 00:00; 16:19)

• Why We Can’t Selectively Numb Emotions

  • “When you block out bad emotions... you’re actually also going to block out the good ones because you can’t selectively block.” (MJ, 08:20)

• Emotional Suppression vs. Health

  • “Emotional suppression is statistically like smoking 15 cigarettes a day.” (MJ, 09:41)

• Why Relationships Matter Most

  • “Harvard had the longest running study, 80 years... it showed at the end of life... the most important thing in people’s lives [was] relationships.” (MJ, 10:07–10:30)

• Advice on Happiness and Health

  • “Sometimes it’s better to stay up late with friends, eat pizza and laugh... That’s healthier than going to bed early, avoiding your friends, and waking up at 5am.” (MJ, 17:23)

• The Real Work of Healing

  • “You do have a choice whether you make your trauma your story or not.” (MJ, 35:45)

• On Feeling and Letting Go

  • “The key is to feel an emotion and let it go. You don’t want to wallow in it.” (MJ, 44:52)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 00:00–03:18: Introduction to breathwork, its universal applicability, and health basics
• 03:19–06:31: Breathwork techniques, mouth vs. nose breathing, trauma and breath
• 06:32–09:42: MJ’s trauma story and breathwork’s role in emotional release
• 09:43–12:14: The dangers of emotional suppression; relationship science
• 12:15–16:16: Male loneliness, societal pressures, and technology’s impact on connection
• 16:17–19:46: Psycho-neuro-immunology, necessity of emotional connection, and true wellness
• 19:47–22:55: Purpose, redefining work, and balancing success with presence
• 22:56–25:38: Navigating science vs. spirituality and the challenge of scientific dogmatism
• 25:39–28:17: Study interpretation, gendered health differences, intermittent fasting caution
• 28:18–32:40: Reincarnation, past life therapy, and integrating spiritual beliefs
• 32:41–36:21: Integrating spiritual experiences, psychedelics, and life’s lessons
• 36:22–39:56: Trauma, choice, healing twins studies, and sharing personal pain
• 39:57–44:11: Process and value of crying, differences in emotional expression by gender
• 44:12–48:22: Healing through animals and nature, practical first steps toward connection

Resources & Connections

• MJ Renshaw on Instagram: @beingmethodbreathwork
• MJ’s Book: “How to Cry” (waitlist or published depending on air date)
• MJ’s Podcast: Being Method (free breathwork episodes and interviews)
• Breathwork Certification: A science-based program for those pursuing work in the field

This episode is essential listening—or reading—for anyone interested in bridging modern wellness with deeper emotional fulfillment, understanding the science and soul of breathwork, or seeking hope after hardship. MJ’s vulnerability, science-backed approach, and practical advice make this a powerful resource on healing and authentic connection.